susancollins Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I was at my sons kindergarten graduation today. The ceremony was over and I was loading things in the car. This older lady who is sitting outside says your having a boy right and I responded yes. She then says whoa not much longer and I say not that much longer not wanting to get into specifics. I go back to my car to load more things. She then says are you have twins and I say no and she responds by saying whoa honey and telling me how big I am . I just smiled and walked away. This really hurt my feelings.I talked with my husband and her comment made me feel like I don't want to leave the house until Grayson is born. Am I being to sensitive? I have only gained 26 pounds and I am 5'2 so it is all in my belly. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Comments from random strangers should always be ignored unless they're compliments. Life is much nicer that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: To sensitive or not, it hurt. Remember(which I am sure is hard to forget), you are pregnant and your emotions are a bit off. Don't let one rude lady ruin your day nor the rest of the time you have before your sweet baby is in your arms.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: To sensitive or not, it hurt. Remember(which I am sure is hard to forget), you are pregnant and your emotions are a bit off. Don't let one rude lady ruin your day nor the rest of the time you have before your sweet baby is in your arms.:grouphug:I agree! Emotions can be up and down when pregnant, and things like this CAN hurt! I remember people saying, "You're HUGE!" I'm not sure why people think they have the right to say that! :glare: That said, try to ignore those types of comments and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy! My husband would walk in from work while I was pregnant and say, "You look so beautiful today" and give me a kiss! I think it was a defense mechanism to put him in a good light, but it worked! :lol: :001_wub: Try to find people that REALLY know and love you and will say positive and helpful things! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I'd have been tempted to sweetly ask when she was due. Anyway sorry. I don't think strangers need to evaluate my body size. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susancollins Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 Thank you all for your kind words. I know my emotions are high and I am trying to be postive. I just wish some people would think before they speak. I was always taught if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. I love the forums and all you wonderful women on this board. I love being able to come here for advice on homeschooling and other things. Thank you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 In my one experience at it, I swear a pregnant belly brings out the stupid in more people! I was a ripe 44 year old, middle-aged professional, and I still got subjected to some of the stupidest comments. My top favorite was the one where the cashier and the woman in line behind me at the grocery got into a "woah, my labor was so bad I nearly ripped clean through" type discussion. I had strangers ask me if I was married! :grouphug: Yup. That old belly just brings out the stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 In my one experience at it, I swear a pregnant belly brings out the stupid in more people! I was a ripe 44 year old, middle-aged professional, and I still got subjected to some of the stupidest comments. My top favorite was the one where the cashier and the woman in line behind me at the grocery got into a "woah, my labor was so bad I nearly ripped clean through" type discussion. I had strangers ask me if I was married! :grouphug: Yup. That old belly just brings out the stupid. :iagree: Why do complete strangers think they have the right to come up and pat a pregnant belly too? :001_huh: (This, aside from the "interesting" comments!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3peasinapod Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 A lady at Wal-Mart told me the same thing with my first. I didn't say anything and it didn't even hurt my feelings, but ticked me off. Okay, maybe it hurt a little. :grouphug: Hang in there! It's true, the belly brings on a lot of strange comments. I, unfortunately, have even made comments that I regret to someone pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I wish it were only strangers. My MIL said, "OH NO!!" when she found out we were expecting, and questioned if we'd planned it :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I got some of the most awful comments with my last pregnancy. I was huge! The pictures are incredible. And I had twins the first time around so I know I was as big with my last one as my twin pregnancy. My last one was 10.3 and my belly was all in front. All that to say, I have some great stories and my friends, family, and I can laugh about it now. And you will be able to as well. Hang in there! Blessings, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 People are dumb and I think a lot of times they're just looking for a conversation starter. Try not to take it to heart. (26 lbs is great!) If it makes you feel better, my mil was so sure I was going to have twins with my first. We'd had an ultrasound where they could count fingers and toes and she just kept insisting that there was a second baby hiding behind the first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 You should have sent her a wink and a cheeky smile and asked if she was calling you fat? Then she could have apologized and said she was remembering how miserable she was when she carried twins... At least that's how I hope it would have happened. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Well...I don't want to steal your thunder or anything, but nothing could be worse than the church pool party last summer. A "sweet" lady from our SS class congratulated me on the the upcoming arrival of the twins. She went on and on about how precious twins are and how hard it must be to carry twins all summer with the heat and all. The problem...I WASN"T EVEN PREGNANT!! I still sit next to her in Sunday school. I never mentioned it again and neither did she. Now I can laugh about it. Then I couldn't. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy at Home Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Comments from random strangers should always be ignored unless they're compliments. Life is much nicer that way. :iagree: Before I lost weight I would get the occasional "When are you due"? to which I would respond, "I'm not pregnant, just fat". People :tongue_smilie: Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I am sorry that happened to you. It's happened to me before, too...once, I still had three months to go! I'm 5'3" and a size 2. I gain less than 30 lbs. each time. Like you said, it's *all* belly when you're this short. I bet your belly is beautiful! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I wish it were only strangers. My MIL said, "OH NO!!" when she found out we were expecting, and questioned if we'd planned it :glare: :iagree:That is the kind of response I got when I was pregnant with our second. First and second are 17 months apart. She preceded to let me know how she didn't approve. My mom sat there a listened for about 30 seconds and then responded, "Well, one thing about it, I always had at least 9 months and 15 seconds between mine." She spoke in such a sober serious tone it was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair. My mom had 10 children, my mil had 3 and mil's first 2 were 13 months apart.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :iagree:That is the kind of response I got when I was pregnant with our second. First and second are 17 months apart. She preceded to let me know how she didn't approve. My mom sat there a listened for about 30 seconds and then responded, "Well, one thing about it, I always had at least 9 months and 15 seconds between mine." She spoke in such a sober serious tone it was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair. My mom had 10 children, my mil had 3 and mil's first 2 were 13 months apart.:confused: :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I was all tummy too. I am short so the tummy looked even bigger. I got many "you must be ready to pop" comments. People said that for my last 3 months! :lol: It never bugged me. I figure being pregnant is a license to not care one bit what the measurement of my midsection is. I loved being pregnant and only got to do it once. Don't give it a second thought. That tummy is your awesome little baby. Be proud of it. Let it all hang out and own every centimeter! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Oh, I have to tell you one of my favorite memories! A friend and I had gone to Taco Bell to pick up food for 9 people. I was 8 months pregnant and quite large. We tell this very young man our order which included over 20 tacos! The guy looks at me (up & down) and asks "That's for here right?" :001_huh:. "um, no" As if I had room in that tummy for a baby and 20 tacos. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I actually had the opposite problem. WHen I was pregnant with my first, I got an injury at work when I was 8 mths. I had to go to a clinic to get it treated and they wanted to do an xray. I asked- is that okay with my being pregnant? They said- what??? and did not do it. I guess they thought I was fat. I am taller than some of you and have a long torso so I didn't show as much but I thought I definitely looked pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 First, I don't think you were being too sensitive at all. I don't know what it is about some older people, but they get to a certain age, and all tact just disappears. Or they just become plain mean. :tongue_smilie: Secondly, I had my own experience with unwanted comments and unsolicited advice. I got extremely annoyed with how often certain people would tell me that I would regret my birth choices (low interventive, midwife-attended, birth center birth), and that I would change my mind about never wanting or having another baby. I figured it constituted an odd form of cognitive dissonance when one woman in particular, would say to me in one breath, "Oh! The pain of labor made me want to die!! You'll be BEGGING for drugs, GET THE EPI, and wow, hope you don't tear in your nether regions!!" and in the next breath, "Don't worry, you'll change your mind about having another. Every woman who says she doesn't want anymore ends up doing that." Anyway, she and the others were wrong on both counts. My experience at the birth center was extremely satisfactory, and here it is, 8 1/2 years later, and my son is still an only child. So, you know, rude people can shove it, as far as I'm concerned. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Comments from random strangers should always be ignored unless they're compliments. Life is much nicer that way. ... but I also would not assume that a "You're huge" comment when pregnant was intended as an insult. When I was pregnant with dd I actually had two people in one day tell me that I was respectively huge, and looking like I was due the next day, and tiny. Say "I wish I was due tomorrow, I'm dying to meet the little guy!" to the first, and "Thank you!" to the second, and be grateful you live in a world where the thought of new little people in the world still makes people want to "connect", however awkwardly they do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 First, I don't think you were being too sensitive at all. I don't know what it is about some older people, but they get to a certain age, and all tact just disappears. Or they just become plain mean. :tongue_smilie:.... So, you know, rude people can shove it, as far as I'm concerned. :D I know a lot of older people who become mean as they age. Although, in my experience it was not just older people making the unwanted comments. When I was pregnant with my third, we had a lot of people asking "Is that all you do? Don't you have cable?" (actually no to both, at the time) With my first a lady noticed my belly button sticking out one day at work and started saying how it could not be long because once your belly button pops out it means it is almost time to have the baby and since I was soooo big it must be any day now. (My belly button had been sticking out for two months at the time. I gained a whopping 15 pounds. All belly. morning sickness had caused me to lose a few at the beginning.) And apparently everyone who, before I became pregnant told me how wonderful having a baby is, suddenly started telling me these horror stories of pain and blood loss and things ripping and stretching beyond repair...etc... Grrr... It still gets me mad. OP: Personally, I love to see pregnant women. That new life you are bringing into the world has the potential to do great things. Just try to remind yourself how sad life would be if all you could think of to do is make others feel bad. That old lady is probably a miserable old bitty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailofsparks Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 One thing I wish I'd done in my pregnancies was to wear a form-fitting shirt and sort of "flaunt" my pregnant self. I was beautiful, just like all pregnant women are beautiful. . . but b/c of how large I was (and felt even larger), I tried to wear things that minimized that largeness. Wish I wouldn't have! So, my advice - get the outfit, flaunt it, parade around town, let yourself radiate that joyful beauty!!! Truly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Comments from random strangers should always be ignored unless they're compliments. Life is much nicer that way. :iagree::iagree: The dumbest thing I ever got when I was pregnant was when I was about 31 weeks (so definitely showing) and a cashier at Walgreens asked, "Are you pregnant?" Uh, duh. No, I'm just stealing a watermelon. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana B Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I am sorry that happened to you. It's happened to me before, too...once, I still had three months to go! I'm 5'3" and a size 2. I gain less than 30 lbs. each time. Like you said, it's *all* belly when you're this short. I bet your belly is beautiful! :grouphug: I love pregnant bellies! I bet it is very beautiful!! I have a friend who is pregnant with her 6th who is 5'2" or so. I joke with her because basically from about 4 months on she looks like she's ready to pop. She gets SO big. So if someone said something like that, I'd make a joke about how short you are and that its the only way he go. But I'm sorry that the woman's comments hurt your feelings! And I'm sorry to anyone's feelings I've ever hurt for comments such as that. I get jealous when I see bellies like that because I'm overweight and I did NOT get the pregnant belly. Even the week before DS was born I could pass off as just fat and could still bend over. I'm not sure he was ever in 'fetus' position. He was stretched from up in my lungs to all the way down - never going out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 When ds #1 was about a week old, I had to run out to the store for something, and I brought him with me. At a week postpartum, I still looked a little ... puffy. So there I was in the checkout line, and an elderly woman looked at me (apparently missing the newborn with me) and said, "Oh, when are you due?" Dh (knowing how that statement made me feel): "She just had a baby." The woman: "Oh, and now you're pregnant again?" Dh (remarkably patient): "She just had a baby!" The woman: "Oh -- I guess she's just big down there." Let me tell you, it took a LOT of self-control not to say or do something to her. It wasn't like I looked like an orca or something. Busybodies!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I know a lot of older people who become mean as they age. Although, in my experience it was not just older people making the unwanted comments. When I was pregnant with my third, we had a lot of people asking "Is that all you do? Don't you have cable?" And apparently everyone who, before I became pregnant told me how wonderful having a baby is, suddenly started telling me these horror stories of pain and blood loss and things ripping and stretching beyond repair...etc... Grrr... It still gets me mad.[/Quote] Yes! What is it about certain older people (and some younger offenders as well), who feel it is their calling in life to criticize when others get married, how soon they start have babies, and the number they have?? About the number of children, certain members of my family have expressed the following sentiments: Don't have any children yet? You're self-centered and you may be infertile if you wait too long [is either implied or outright stated]. Have 1-2 kids? Perfect. But, why couldn't you have had one girl and one boy? Or the other way around? Or perhaps, you failed because you have only only boys or only girls? Have more than 2 kids? Geez, when are you people going to stop procreating already?! You're lining them up out the door!! Grandma can't afford that many presents! 5+? You're just indecent. You're forming your own cult, and the rest of the extended family is half-afraid and half-repulsed by your powers of fertility. I have heard comments like these and the all-too familiar, "Is that all you do?" before, not directed towards myself, but towards a cousin who has 8 kids. The folks who said it were older relatives of ours, and they thought they were being amusing when they said this at a family gather. Me, I'm sarcastic enough that I snarked back, "Why not? They do it so well!" The rude relatives in question turned BEET red. It was fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secular_mom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I was at my sons kindergarten graduation today. The ceremony was over and I was loading things in the car. This older lady who is sitting outside says your having a boy right and I responded yes. She then says whoa not much longer and I say not that much longer not wanting to get into specifics. I go back to my car to load more things. She then says are you have twins and I say no and she responds by saying whoa honey and telling me how big I am . I just smiled and walked away. This really hurt my feelings.I talked with my husband and her comment made me feel like I don't want to leave the house until Grayson is born. Am I being to sensitive? I have only gained 26 pounds and I am 5'2 so it is all in my belly. Thank you for taking the time to read this. :grouphug: IMO it's the rude people who shouldn't leave the house. I got that same comment from so many people with my 2nd, and subsequent pregnancies. The one that really got to me was the Ombudsman for my DH's command at that time- she was a Chief's wife AND she was also pregnant and due around the same time as me. If you've only gained 26 pounds I think you are doing great. I try to have some short and not offensive comebacks in stock after I encounter such behavior. "Well, I'm growing a whole new person in there, human babies are bigger than kittens ya know." Or if I'm feeling down and cranky I may just say, "Gee, thanks for that insight. Are there any other insults you'd like to toss my way or is it safe to say you're done for now?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I like the poster who said pg brings out the stupid in people! :lol: Although, I am not sure if it is pg that brings out the stupid or people that bring out the stupid! :tongue_smilie: Good grief, I have heard the worst things throughout my parenting career. Too many kids, too many girls, too close together, too far apart... Yikes! I remember when we found out we were expecting #5, I didn't want to be there when dh told mil b/c I thought she was going to disapprove. I hid in our room. Then after he told her, I came down. She greeted me with a huge "Congratulations!!" I was bowled over and really felt her love. With my first, I had a lady find out I was pg when I was around 7 months. Her jaw dropped and she said, "You're pg?! I thought you were just chubby!" :001_huh: Uh, thanks?? You aren't being too sensitive. :grouphug: You are being pg dealing with stupid people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 (edited) Yes! What is it about certain older people (and some younger offenders as well), who feel it is their calling in life to criticize when others get married, how soon they start have babies, and the number they have?? About the number of children, certain members of my family have expressed the following sentiments: Don't have any children yet? You're self-centered and you may be infertile if you wait too long [is either implied or outright stated]. Have 1-2 kids? Perfect. But, why couldn't you have had one girl and one boy? Or the other way around? Or perhaps, you failed because you have only only boys or only girls? Have more than 2 kids? Geez, when are you people going to stop procreating already?! You're lining them up out the door!! Grandma can't afford that many presents! 5+? You're just indecent. You're forming your own cult, and the rest of the extended family is half-afraid and half-repulsed by your powers of fertility. I have heard comments like these and the all-too familiar, "Is that all you do?" before, not directed towards myself, but towards a cousin who has 8 kids. The folks who said it were older relatives of ours, and they thought they were being amusing when they said this at a family gather. Me, I'm sarcastic enough that I snarked back, "Why not? They do it so well!" The rude relatives in question turned BEET red. It was fantastic. When I was pregnant with #4, a neighbor asked, "Don't you two have cable?" Another thing that people feel they must weigh in on: the gender of your children. If you have one boy or one girl, you must have a second child, of the opposite gender, so that you have a matched set. If you have two children of one gender, you obviously got it wrong the second time and must try once more (but once more only) to correct the imbalance. (Or as someone told me after I had two girls and then a boy, "Now you're done -- RIGHT?") If you have one child of one gender and then two successive children of the other gender, you didn't know when to stop and are an irresponsible pig who cares for neither birth control nor the Earth. If you have three children of one gender, you obviously got it wrong the second and third times, but it's so cute, in a sitcom sort of way, that you're forgiven. Don't you dare procreate any more, though; you clearly don't know what you're doing. If you have more than three children, you are now perceived as so far out there that you are fair game for any and all rude comments. :D Ann Landers or Dear Abby once suggested that when people ask questions about such personal matters, you respond by saying, "I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question if you'll forgive me for not answering it." If only they actually *asked* instead of just weighing in! And personally, I think that response was too polite. Edited May 22, 2011 by Maverick_Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I bet you look great! Hang in there. When people ask me when I am due, I lie. [i am not pregnant, just fat, but really people, if you aren't sure keep your mouth shut.] I usually say in a few weeks and figure God forgives their rudeness and my lying all at the same time. :tongue_smilie: I agree with a pp who told you to flaunt the beautiful pregnant belly of yours. I know a little of how hard it was for you to get there, so show it off. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I bet you look great! Hang in there. When people ask me when I am due, I lie. [i am not pregnant, just fat, but really people, if you aren't sure keep your mouth shut.] I usually say in a few weeks and figure God forgives their rudeness and my lying all at the same time. :tongue_smilie: I've gotten tired of lying. I look at them and just state, "I'm not pregnant. I'm fat." Talk about a pregnant pause in response! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 When ds #1 was about a week old, I had to run out to the store for something, and I brought him with me. At a week postpartum, I still looked a little ... puffy. So there I was in the checkout line, and an elderly woman looked at me (apparently missing the newborn with me) and said, "Oh, when are you due?" Dh (knowing how that statement made me feel): "She just had a baby." The woman: "Oh, and now you're pregnant again?" Dh (remarkably patient): "She just had a baby!" The woman: "Oh -- I guess she's just big down there." Let me tell you, it took a LOT of self-control not to say or do something to her. It wasn't like I looked like an orca or something. Busybodies!!! When my last baby was 3 months old, I was out buying our Thanksgiving turkey. I had the baby in a sling, and the person behind me offered to put my turkey up on the conveyor belt for me. I thought it was because of the baby, but I realized when I was walking away that they had thought I was pregnant!! I was like, this baby is only 3 months old, how could I already be showing again?! When I was pregnant with my twins, people talked to me constantly. I got the "Oh, you must be due any day now," early in the summer when they weren't due until October. At a certain point, I had gotten so huge that people realized I *must* be having twins. The absolute worst, though, was when I was at the hospital after one of my many ultrasounds waiting for the shuttle to the parking deck. This guy just started talking to me, asking me when I was due. I answered, "September" (because I was tired of hearing, "You won't make it that long!" when I said October) and he said, "You're not going to make it to September!" So then I said, "Well, actually I'm having twins." So then he starts insisting that my twins are girls. "No, I've actually had multiple ultrasounds and I'm sure that they are boys." "They're wrong, you're definitely having girls!" he tells me, and I'm sitting there thinking, "GET AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :grouphug: It sucks huh. I'm only 5'3" and I carry my babies all in front, I don't gain heaps of weight but my belly does actually get huge, no denying it. I got the twin comment a LOT, all through all three pregnancies. It really does suck. :rofl: kalanamak! You are so right, it really does bring out the stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I bet you look beautiful and that old crone needs a kick in the kneecaps. So there. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 When I was pregnant with my ds, one man at church said that I looked like I was having 5 babies because I was so HUGE. My elderly uncle commented when I was pregnant, "Well, your sisters are slim and I guess your the chubby one, huh?" Yes, lovely comments all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 that old crone needs a kick in the kneecaps. So there. :tongue_smilie: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamachanse Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Seriously. People say the dumbest sh!t to pregnant women. During my last pregnancy, I got the huge comments along with the awful 4th boy comments. Even from my inlaws. It was devestating and exhausting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 The dumbest thing I ever got when I was pregnant was when I was about 31 weeks (so definitely showing) and a cashier at Walgreens asked, "Are you pregnant?" Uh, duh. No, I'm just stealing a watermelon. :glare: :lol::lol::lol: It's funny, but I don't remember getting any rude comments when I was pg. These days I'm definitely overweight (losing slowly), but again nobody seems to say anything. Or perhaps it's because I don't often take things seriously - I'm more likely to just laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Haven't read all the replies so someone may have already said this. Depending on how old this woman was she may operating on the old advice that said a pregnant woman should gain only about 15 lbs. My mil is from that era and she thought sil was putting on too much weight when she was pregnant. Sil had only gained 25 lbs, which is now considered healthy. Glad she didn't say anything to me--I gained 40-50 with each of mine. But being tall (5' 10") maybe it wasn't as obvious. Sorry you ran into a knucklehead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :grouphug: Some people speak before they think. Ignore it. I was in the same Sundayschool class as another member or our church. His own wife had 4 children. One day as a luncheon his Mamma said, "Wow, you guys must be so excited!" and then she went on to ask if we knew what we were having, etc. Anyway all of a sudden he turns and looks at me and says, "Wait! You're having a baby!?" Seriously, the fellow was not slow witted in anyway. I honestly just don't think he thought of it like that. In the mean time I was left thinking, "Does my belly ALWAYS look this big?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I'm 5'8 and I usually do not gain much weight when pregnant but have healthy, normal sized babies (DD was 6 lb, 5 oz and DS was 8 lb, 5 oz). Pregnancy seems to be the one time when my body works efficiently!! lol Anyway, when I was 9 months pregnant with DS, some jerk customer asked if I was pregnant. (DD was in my Ergo and was a little over a year so I sort of understood why she was confused. Most people don't choose to get pregnant when they have a 5 month old baby!) I told the customer that yes, I was pregnant again and due in a few days. Her response was to say, "Wow. You carry small. My sister always carried small and all her babies were born dead. Do you feel your baby moving? Maybe its dead because you had them so close together. Do you know who the father is? And maybe you don't really know when your baby was conceived." My mom took over from me and I didn't have to say a word. But I really did want to punch that old brood's lights out. I got a few days off when I wished her a speedy death when she returned the Uhaul truck. lol But why, oh why would you say something about dead babies to someone who is due in a few days?? Right, you crazy old bat. You figured out my conception date is off but the monthly U/S didn't pick up on that. (I had to see a specialist because the OB didn't think DS had a spleen so we were monitored a lot during my pregnancy. I had at least 8 U/S of DS from 5 months on... And I'd been married to DH for 4 years before getting pregnant... I knew who the father was. I tamed my dating days down a bit. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 ... but I also would not assume that a "You're huge" comment when pregnant was intended as an insult. When I was pregnant with dd I actually had two people in one day tell me that I was respectively huge, and looking like I was due the next day, and tiny. Say "I wish I was due tomorrow, I'm dying to meet the little guy!" to the first, and "Thank you!" to the second, and be grateful you live in a world where the thought of new little people in the world still makes people want to "connect", however awkwardly they do it. Yep. Some people want to express joy with your for your blessing, but they are awkward at it. I always try to assume the best intent. I'm sure I've said stupid hurtful things to people at some point, thinking I was just making a comment or beign funny. I try to remember that when someone else does it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 :iagree::iagree: The dumbest thing I ever got when I was pregnant was when I was about 31 weeks (so definitely showing) and a cashier at Walgreens asked, "Are you pregnant?" Uh, duh. No, I'm just stealing a watermelon. :glare: Maybe that person was just trying to play it safe. I met a woman a few years ago--another mom from ds's soccer team--who looked to be at least 6 months pregnant. I didn't say anything. Turns out she's just fat all in the belly. It's been several years now and that "baby" is still there. I'm glad I refrained from asking her when she was due. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 After the nightmare of unwanted comments during my first pregnancy, I developed a comeback to silence the naysayers. My standard response after that was, "WOW! You are REALLY rude. Didn't your mamma teach you any better than that?" I even used it on our pastor's wife. Let me tell you, the conversation comes to a dead stop and as far as church, word travels....no more commentary on the pregnacy from unwanted sources. If nothing else, it hopefully will give the busybody reason to pause, the next time a pregnant woman appears in their line of vision. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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