If you were a Christian, and then stopped being a Christian how old were you?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm specifically interested in people who considered themselves an actual Christian, not just undecided. Poll to follow.

 

(While I personally believe a doctrine called eternal security, I am not invoking that for this poll because I want what people think about their own experience.)

 

ETA - some people might want to know why I want to know. I was simply thinking about how my own thinking has changed over the years - sometimes dramatically - and wondered when a dramatic change like this might occur in people's lives.

Edited March 30, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle

[Audrey]

Around 16 or 17, the whole story just fell apart for me. I couldn't buy it anymore. I kept going to church, though, because our church ran a shelter and I enjoyed my service there. I didn't actually tell my family for a few more years.

[EmmaNZ]

Age 23/24. I was raised Catholic. I have always had a strong faith in God, but I lost my faith in the 'Christian' God (as Audrey said; 'the whole story fell apart'). I am now a Muslim. I do not think my beliefs actually changed, just what I call them! Not sure if that's what you're after.

[Rosie_0801]

I would have been 14 or 15. Perhaps I would have stuck at it longer if there had been a polite enough way to ask questions.

 

 

Rosie

[oldskool]

Age 23/24. I was raised Catholic. I have always had a strong faith in God, but I lost my faith in the 'Christian' God (as Audrey said; 'the whole story fell apart'). I am now a Muslim. I do not think my beliefs actually changed, just what I call them! Not sure if that's what you're after.

 

This is what happened to me too. Raised Catholic and am now Muslim. I was about 16/17 and changed about a month before I was to be a confirmed Catholic. Looking back I think I always did believe in the basic idea of Islam, but I just didn't have a name for it. So when I found Islam it made sense right away.

 

Lesley

[Peela]

Although I never probably consciously thought of myself as a Christian, I was sent to a Christian private school and Sunday School because my mother considered herself Christian until later in life. Dad never did- very atheist.

At the Christian Girls School I remember feeling very in love with Jesus, and that I wanted to be like Jesus- I was probably around 9 when that happened. I would say by the time I was 12, my faith had been completely destroyed- the hypocrisy and meanness and patronising attitude of the adults around me, who I could see very well were not walking the talk at all, just disillusioned me. I felt like such a fish out of water there. I could never buy into the beliefs after that- they just seemed like things people choose to believe rather than anything that was self evident, and its been like that ever since. I couldn't see why the Christians would be any more right than the Muslims or the Hindus- it seemed to me to be just wherever you were born, thats the beliefs you took on, and that didn't hold water for me.

[MyLittleWonders]

I answered 31-35 years old, but I've actually left twice. I converted the first time as a freshman in college, and left about 1 1/2 years later (and I was definitely "Christian" - not just trying it out). Something in my personal life rocked me to my core and led to my turning away. Before ds#1 was born, I felt the tug back and returned. Dh followed fairly soon there after. We were very happy with our church and friends and faith. When I was 32, I started questioning the whole thing and no one had any answers. Looking back, I feel our pastor (well, the one we went to over it all) really didn't handle my questions (our questions - dh ended up joining me on the journey) well at all, and actually served to push us away further. We ended up leaving - it took only a week or so. Interestingly, I feel pulled back again (though not sure where or how much), but this time I feel the "story" is right for me, but not necessarily for anyone else in my family. I am glad I have been to two extremes (we were pretty conservative/evangelical before we left) so I can start to find my own middle. Ok ... way more information than the poll might have wanted, but there you go. :)

[KidsHappen]

I was about 12 or 13 years old, about the time I really started questioning all the things that adults told me. I went through a period of agnosticism, then atheism, then having a life changing experience which led to a belief in God followed by a definite anti-Christian period and finally to my current place of what I like to think of as acceptance.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I went to Christian schools from 6-12th grade, and was questioning things during those years, but it wasn't until I was truly out on my own and learned more and realized that practically every culture and civilization has similar stories explaining the 'mysteries' of life, that I decided one religion couldn't possibly hold the all the answers. I don't remember exactly when I came to the decision, but I voted in the 21-25 category.

[Mom in High Heels]

I was raised religious (both my parents still are), but when I was a teen (and attending a private girls Catholic school), it just kind of stopped making sense to me. I started wondering things and asking questions that just couldn't be explained by Christianity, or were simplified (or dismissed) by it. I'm not a big science person, but I believe in science and many things about Christianity said that science was wrong. This was an issue for me. James Bond started question things in his teens as well and by the time we married in our early 20's we had both decided that Christianity just wasn't for us. We did get married in a church. We had Indy baptized (Han Solo will be too), but for the boys, it's merely a formality in the event that they do grow up to be religious. We figure we'll get the baptisms done (plus, it makes our families happy) and let them decide on their own when they're older. We have exposed Indy to many different religions and studied them in school. I'd like him to make his own decisions, rather than simply go along with it because that's all he's been exposed to.

[....]

I think at 17, I started telling people that I was an atheist. I didn't believe God existed. This went on for about 5-6 years? maybe...

[Mom0012]

From the time I was a small child, I always believed in God/Jesus, but I've never been particularly religious. When I first started homeschooling my kids, I had a renewal of faith from all the bible readings and references to Christianity in the curriculum we were using. Then I did a study on Revelation through CBS and it totally killed my faith.

 

I still try to continue developing faith in my children because I know what a comfort it is and what strength it can bring and I hope something will happen to help me regain mine, but the more I read the Bible the harder it is for me to believe.

 

Yesterday, we read about Moses coming down the mountain with the 10 Commandments while the Israelites were making the golden calf. What was his response? To kill the 3,000 people who worshipped the calf. Ummm, wasn't one of the 10 commandments "Thou Shalt Not Kill"? I find the Bible riddled with this kind of stuff and studying Revelation is the first time I became aware of it.

 

Lisa

[Lady Florida.]

I was over 40. Perhaps it would have happened sooner if I had started questioning sooner.

[AlmiraGulch]

I responded 36 - 40, but I'm not sure that's true. I'm 39 now, and really it's only been in the last year or so that I haven't felt uncomfortable telling people (if it came up) that I'm not a Christian. I've questioned it off and on for years, though.

 

I suppose I got tired of saying I don't believe A - Z of the doctrine, but I believe in God. How can I not believe the doctrine and still claim the faith?

 

Now, I don't believe in any of it. I'm solidly agnostic. There MAY be something "bigger than us," but I don't know what it is. I certainly do not believe it's the God of the Bible, or of the Torah, or the Quran, or the Gods of Hinduism, etc. To me, those all sound like characters made up to tell a story. All of it rings false.

 

I do sometimes miss the peace that the ritual of the Mass used to bring me, but I can't get past the rest of it to make myself go. I need to find a hobby that does the same thing for me.

[freethinkermama]

I was from a non-Christian and was born again at 13. Was 'in-love' with Jesus for years. A missionary. Left the faith at about 33.

 

Husband was born again at 28. Left the faith in his 40s.

 

I swung back and forth from Amenianism and Calvinism, but almost always believed in Perseverance of the Saints.

 

I didn't really think Christians could ever become non-Christians.

 

But that was part of Christianity.

 

I was wrong.

[FaithManor]

I was raised in a Christian home with really great parents and was very comfortable with my faith up until about the age of 14 when my parents decided that the little Methodist Church we attended "didn't offer enough." They made the huge mistake of picking a larger, very fundamentalist, oppressive, legalistic church in which the youth were just constantly harped at about every cotton-pickin' little thing you can imagine and told we were going to lose our salvation for things like a skirt that wasn't three inches below the knee, or a boy's pair of sports shorts that didn't come within one inch of the top bone of his knee....etc. They enrolled me in the Christian School there. While I did very well on the academics, graduated at 16 with 28 credits because they'd put me in the independent study/accelerated program, I felt smothered, unloved, unable to maintain the walk, unworthy...forget grace, forget mercy, it didn't exist with that pastor and a lot of the people in that church family.

 

I became depressed and never shared with my parents what I was going through. They would have bailed on the place immediately if they had. But, they were really enjoying the fellowship of three or four couples in the church and they hadn't had much for friendships before, so I felt guilty about rocking the boat and endured.

 

When I left for college, I decided that though I still believed in the fall of man from God's Grace and the Redemptive Story, the love and mercy of Christ, I just simply couldn't do it anymore...I couldn't measure up so why bother trying. I embraced a blend of existentialist and transcendentalist beliefs - odd blend, yet it worked for me at the time. But, when I met Dh, I saw a different "version" of Christianity in action and at the time, was also enrolled in a philosophy of religion class for my philosophy major (tripled majored in piano performance, music ed, and philosophy - yeah, I know, glutton for punishment). The professor was a former Methodist Pastor turned Ph.D. Philosophy and religion prof. He sensed that I was hurting and asked if I'd be willing to come to some counseling sessions with him. What a profound, loving, merciful, graceful man! He answered my questions honestly, talked about personal interpretations vs. established theology, the difference between theology and personal convictions, the harms of fundamentalism, other religious philosophies, etc. No fear in all of my questioning, no condemnation, no judgment and always lots and lots of love and encouragement.

 

I ended up embracing God again, embracing Jesus again, but without the baggage, without the guilt trip, without the nonsense, etc. Dh and I have been "non-traditional" Christians by a lot of standards since then. We believe in the Apostle's Creed and the Nicene Creed. We tend to be YE leaning or well, younger than most old earthers but not young enough for most young earthers, we believe in living Jesus which means love, mercy, grace, compassion, kindness,....the fruits of the Spirit. We believe Paul wasn't kidding when he said, "The greatest of these is Love" and "make love your aim". We are tolerant of others beliefs and we'll share what we believe, with kindness and grace if you want to hear it. We won't bash you over the head with it if you don't, but though we aren't perfect and we make our fair share of mistakes, we hope that if your looking for Jesus, you'll see Him in our lives.

 

We also tend to be philosopher types so we love a good, gentle debate and aren't afraid of anyone's questions or beliefs. This makes some of the more fundamental/conservative Christians look at us kind of wonky.

 

My journey away and back was of about 4 years duration...dh's was about 5, but he had already begun that journey earlier - he's four years older than I am.

 

Faith

[Amirah]

This is what happened to me too. Raised Catholic and am now Muslim. I was about 16/17 and changed about a month before I was to be a confirmed Catholic. Looking back I think I always did believe in the basic idea of Islam, but I just didn't have a name for it. So when I found Islam it made sense right away.

 

Lesley

 

this was me exactly i went to private catholic high school and everything even in university i was active i converted after freshman yr of college at 21. i felt the same way i always believed in the basic just didnt know what it was when i read more it clicked i was like yep this is it. that was almost 5yrs ago best decision i ever made

[nd293]

It was a process, really, starting at 16yrs, the age when children were admitted as members into our church (confirmed). I took the whole process seriously, and many didn't (e.g. ducking off to play pool instead of attend classes). They were confirmed anyway - which was when I realised it was just a numbers game for the church, not about commitment to God or church. Couple that with a deacon who had been unfaithful and abusive to his wife, and a throw-away comment by the minister about Christians being able to pray anywhere, but Muslims /Jews/ Hindu's needing a mosque / synagogue / temple and I knew something was seriously wrong. I was already interested in other religions, and already knew instinctively that it was far too simplistic to believe that a God would only welcome people who believed / had been exposed to a narrow set of doctrines. The analogy in my mind then was of an ant looking at a human - what could it see of one of us? What it saw would vary hugely depending on perspective, and each ant would be correct, and yet way off. That's how I saw God -way too big for a human to see in the whole, hence different faiths.

 

For a while I looked at other Christian churches (in a more orthodox direction than my Methodist upbringing). But after I left school and was exposed to more people of different backgrounds and began to read more about other religions and overcome the fear of free-thinking which organised religion tends to promote I moved through the stages of non-aligned theist to atheist. There were to many questions where the answers provided by religion were simply at odds with my instinctive, "common sense" response. Each step brought a greater level of peace and integrity to my life. I'm around the corner from 40 now, and it's probably only in the past few years that I have found the right words to describe exactly what it is that I believe, but I'd say I stopped considering myself a Christian in my early 20s.

[Jennifer3141]

I think I always had a hard time with the "story" of Xtianity. It just seemed like a religion that ripped off too much of everyone else's beliefs; i.e. Christ was probably born in the spring but we celebrate his birthday in December to co-op the dirty pagans, the flood story which is so much older than Noah, etc. etc.

 

I would have had an easier time with Xtianity if there had been more Xtians around me who were at least a tiny bit open-minded about stuff like that.

 

I started out Reformed, did Christian Reformed, Wesleyan, and I even converted to Catholicism through the RCIA. I spent YEARS searching but nothing ever seemed right and I also found myself wondering if the person next to me REALLY believed everything in the bible. I cried during my confirmation in the Catholic church, not because I finally found it but because I looked around and realized I hadn't.

 

So I'm pagan now, sort of. I'm also a healthy doese of atheist. I "worship" the environment mostly. I grant there might be a god or two about but I don't live my life in fear or need of him/her. I simply try to do the right thing and relax about the big stuff. I get that I'm going to die someday and everyone around me will too. So take care of each other. :)

 

I started wondering around 10 or so. I consider myself to have waved goodbye to Jesus about 15 years ago. And I've been happier ever since. That was when I was in my late 20s.

Edited March 30, 2011 by Jennifer3141

[Aubrey]

Do you care if we went back to it?

 

I had "issues" w/ the church I was brought up in & some of their ideas as far back as I can remember, but they taught you to be so afraid of hell, you really wouldn't question to hard & you definitely wouldn't leave.

 

I finally risked it. It sounds so bad for a Christian to say, but I'm still to this day SO glad I did. It's eye-opening to see how we treat "non-Christians" & it's interesting (to me) to see how some convictions aren't directly tied to the Christian faith.

 

I was 21, but I wished I had left sooner. I had my 1st baby at the time, & the experience was much harder with the responsibility of another life.

[freethinkermama]

Do you care if we went back to it?

 

I had "issues" w/ the church I was brought up in & some of their ideas as far back as I can remember, but they taught you to be so afraid of hell, you really wouldn't question to hard & you definitely wouldn't leave.

 

I finally risked it. It sounds so bad for a Christian to say, but I'm still to this day SO glad I did. It's eye-opening to see how we treat "non-Christians" & it's interesting (to me) to see how some convictions aren't directly tied to the Christian faith.

 

I was 21, but I wished I had left sooner. I had my 1st baby at the time, & the experience was much harder with the responsibility of another life.

 

Curious, not to put you on the spot.

 

1. Did you believe in a literal God and Jesus when you were first a Christian?

2. Did you stop believing in the existence of a supernatural Jesus?

3. What caused you to believe in Jesus again and, presumably, the reliability of the Bible. What facts did you learn that did this?

 

For me, I can't see ever being able to believe the claims of Christianity anymore, and I would have to believe those in order to become a Christian again.

I'm just curious about your experience.

Edited March 30, 2011 by freethinkermama
grammar fail!

[Desert Rat]

I voted in the 16-20 range but it started earlier. I know it was around 14 that I began seeing hyprocricies in the church in which I was raised. I started to question and study other paths. By the time I was 20, I was completely divorced from the Christian church.

[Flux]

I was 12-13 years old when I decided I was no longer willing to buy what I was being sold, and I am 35 now. I was raised LDS. All I know is that I do not know (I didn't quote it because when I tried to look up quotes from Socrates, there were so many different versions). Although, I don't consider myself agnostic. I don't believe there is nothing, just that I can't define it, if that makes any sense at all.

[teachmejoy]

Having faith in God and being a Christian is 2 different things. Someone can choose to stop believing in God, but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop. A Christian is someone who has placed their whole heart and lives in God's hands. That is not something that can be stopped, no matter what age you are. I do believe that someone can believe in God and then stop. The Bible says that even the demons believe... That doesn't mean that they are Christians!

[nd293]

For me, I can't see ever being able to believe the claims of Christianity anymore, and I would have to believe those in order to become a Christian again.

I'm just curious about your experience.

 

Me too - curious, I mean. I am very drawn to orthodoxy of any kind; I'm conservative at heart, I find ritual beautiful. I sometimes think that if I ever have an epiphany I'd definitely look into x religion. That's my emotional response, but then my intellect always kicks in and I wonder how I could "un-ask" the questions that religion simply doesn't answer to my satisfaction. And of course, I have to acknowledge that I never could "un-ask" them.

 

But I guess there are many reasons people move away from Christianity - some move towards other religions, some towards atheism, and therefore the driving force (and the unanswered questions) must be very different. As Darwin said, "Let each man hope and believe what he can."

[alpidarkomama]

I was raised Lutheran, but didn't feel much connection to Christianity AT ALL. It made no sense to me. Then at 21, I was walking down the street and a voice in my head just said, "You're Jewish." I didn't know what to make of that, since the only Jews I knew were completely secular. At 23, I tried to become Catholic. I wanted that to be it, but it was definitely a round hole/square peg kind of thing. At 29 I FINALLY started learning about Judaism. It took two years for conversion (orthodox). The first time I walked into an orthodox synagogue and everything was in Hebrew I felt completely at home even though I had no idea what was going on. It's been a wonderful journey ever since. All good things have come to me since becoming Jewish. I've scoured my ancestry to see if there could possibly be any Jews, but there isn't. I'm just so grateful my soul found its way. :)

[alpidarkomama]

And the other thing I love about Judaism? Questions are GOOD! And highly encouraged. :)

[Aubrey]

Curious, not to put you on the spot.

 

1. Did you believe in a literal God and Jesus when you were first a Christian?

 

Yes.

 

2. Did you stop believing in the existence of a supernatural Jesus?

Rather than "stop believing" I'd describe it more as a suspension of belief. W/out HELL or coercion, what conclusion do I come to? I spent more time reading philosophy & thinking about "Truth" than trying to *make* myself believe the "commands" of the Bible.

 

3. What caused you to believe in Jesus again and, presumably, the reliability of the Bible. What facts did you learn that did this?

The number one thing, for me, was finding the less popular John 3:17--& I wasn't reading the Bible, so I don't remember how this happened...a conversation w/ dh, maybe? Yeah, because I remember arguing w/ him & making him look it up. Anyway, it says that Jesus did not come into the world to JUDGE it but to SAVE it. Coming from my background, that really floored me. And I thought I really knew the whole Bible really well, lol.

 

Jesus was not an intellectual assent for me. He was an undeniable presence w/ me even when I was rejecting him. He was the faithfulness of my Christian dh (to me) when I had walked away (from the faith).

 

The reliability of the Bible: I have never gone back to that in the same way as I did before. I believe it, but I don't...*worship* it. I hold the nature & character of God above Scripture. If he sent his Son to die for us, says the highest commands are to love him & love our neighbors, I'm going to be pretty suspicious of killing all the Hittites or some of Paul's harshness. I don't feel compelled to understand or defend everything. I'm okay saying, "That verse sucks" (in certain company, lol) w/out feeling compelled to understand, reject, defend, or anything else.

 

No church or denomination will ever again come between me & God.

 

For me, I can't see ever being able to believe the claims of Christianity anymore, and I would have to believe those in order to become a Christian again.

I'm just curious about your experience.

 

I'm not sure which claims you mean. Dh calls me a heretic all the time, so...you know...maybe I don't believe them all, either. LOL

[OH_Homeschooler]

I was raised Catholic (sort of, we were not the most committed church-going family). Before college, my guilty conscience compelled me to seek out church activities in any form, so I went to AWANA with friends on Friday nights and a Baptist Bible camp for two weeks. Then I went to a Lutheran college (which had more Catholic students in attendance than anything). I continued to explore religion in college. We had to take two history of religion courses as part of the curriculum (which were awesome!), and I went to Intervarsity Christian Fellowship sometimes. I was part of a musical group and we played at some Lutheran services, and I was amazed to find how similar those were to the Catholic services I grew up attending.

 

Anyway, I still clearly identified myself as a Christian when I graduated from college but when I went to grad school in a very conservative part of the country, I started to question everything. The religion was so in-your-face and I never felt less welcome in a city than I did there. I thought Christians were supposed to be more welcoming? (Not an attack on all Christians, just part of my thought process at the time.) I also saw a lot of really poor treatment of homosexuals and so on. And while all this was going on I was falling deeper in love with the scientific method and empiricism. So between the hypocrisy I was witnessing and my newly acquired skepticism, I started questioning faith.

 

So I selected the 21-25 range, which is about right. It did not happen overnight, it happened over several years. I felt like I was a bad person and I was betraying everything I was if I didn't believe in God, so it took a long time to accept that I didn't.

[catz]

I would have been 14 or 15. Perhaps I would have stuck at it longer if there had been a polite enough way to ask questions.

 

 

Rosie

 

:iagree: I remember thinking at a very early age "this makes no sense", but not being allowed to ask questions. I attended Catholic school and church. We attend a Unitarian church now, so I would say we aren't spiritual in some way (although my husband would identify as an atheist humanist). I said 20-25, but I was searching and exploring from my teens on.

[Jean in Newcastle]

For those who ask if your stories can be included - sure. This is about your experience and how you interpret it. Looking at the poll, I see that people make these kinds of decisions/realizations at any age!

[freethinkermama]

Having faith in God and being a Christian is 2 different things. Someone can choose to stop believing in God, but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop. A Christian is someone who has placed their whole heart and lives in God's hands. That is not something that can be stopped, no matter what age you are. I do believe that someone can believe in God and then stop. The Bible says that even the demons believe... That doesn't mean that they are Christians!

 

Yes, but you're wrong.

I was a Christian. I believed that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. I believed the "Word of God". I preached the gospel of repentance to friends and strangers.

 

You. Are. Wrong.

 

Now, you may believe I was never a Christian. You may believe I'm demon-possessed. You may believe that I actually still do believe.

 

What you don't believe is what I'm telling you.

 

I was a Christian. Born again. Zealous for salvation for my friends and family.

I made a commitment before the Lord that even when the final days came, and I should still be around, I would give up my life before denying Christ. I prayed, fasted, loved Jesus with my heart, mind, and strength. I have journals full of my prayers, confessions, fears that I poured out to God. I gave up years of my life, sacrificing for the kingdom of a God I no longer believe in.

 

Now, I believe all of these things were self-delusion. Bias-confirmation. A willingness to believe without actual substance.

 

This is one of the issues that should have made it simpler for me to leave Christianity to begin with. I could believe everything but what a person told me. I had to assume that people didn't actually know their own minds. If they insisted something about themselves, I knew better. I had the Bible and the truth. They were just deluded.

 

I was a born-again, Spirit-filled Child of God.

 

I am am now atheist.

 

No one has to believe me. But it's the truth.

[freethinkermama]

Yes.

 

 

Rather than "stop believing" I'd describe it more as a suspension of belief. W/out HELL or coercion, what conclusion do I come to? I spent more time reading philosophy & thinking about "Truth" than trying to *make* myself believe the "commands" of the Bible.

 

 

The number one thing, for me, was finding the less popular John 3:17--& I wasn't reading the Bible, so I don't remember how this happened...a conversation w/ dh, maybe? Yeah, because I remember arguing w/ him & making him look it up. Anyway, it says that Jesus did not come into the world to JUDGE it but to SAVE it. Coming from my background, that really floored me. And I thought I really knew the whole Bible really well, lol.

 

Jesus was not an intellectual assent for me. He was an undeniable presence w/ me even when I was rejecting him. He was the faithfulness of my Christian dh (to me) when I had walked away (from the faith).

 

The reliability of the Bible: I have never gone back to that in the same way as I did before. I believe it, but I don't...*worship* it. I hold the nature & character of God above Scripture. If he sent his Son to die for us, says the highest commands are to love him & love our neighbors, I'm going to be pretty suspicious of killing all the Hittites or some of Paul's harshness. I don't feel compelled to understand or defend everything. I'm okay saying, "That verse sucks" (in certain company, lol) w/out feeling compelled to understand, reject, defend, or anything else.

 

No church or denomination will ever again come between me & God.

 

 

 

I'm not sure which claims you mean. Dh calls me a heretic all the time, so...you know...maybe I don't believe them all, either. LOL

 

Thanks for replying. :)

[Amy in TX]

Age 23/24. I was raised Catholic. I have always had a strong faith in God, but I lost my faith in the 'Christian' God (as Audrey said; 'the whole story fell apart'). I am now a Muslim. I do not think my beliefs actually changed, just what I call them! Not sure if that's what you're after.

 

This was my experience exactly.

[swimmermom3]

I chose "over 40." I was old enough to make an informed decision. There was a point where I held the image of a giant scale in my head. It was way off balance. The side with "Christianity" held words like "hatred," "pettiness," "judgment," "condescension," "intolerance," and "ignorance, " and "hypocrisy." I never seemed to personally witness enough positive to begin to balance those scales. This isn't a comment on anyone's personal beliefs; it is limited to my personal experience.

[LidiyaDawn]

Having faith in God and being a Christian is 2 different things. Someone can choose to stop believing in God, but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop. A Christian is someone who has placed their whole heart and lives in God's hands. That is not something that can be stopped, no matter what age you are. I do believe that someone can believe in God and then stop. The Bible says that even the demons believe... That doesn't mean that they are Christians!

 

So you can somehow judge who was or wasn't a "true Christian"? :001_huh:

[Lady Florida.]

Someone can choose to stop believing in God,

 

It's really not a choice. You either believe or you don't. I don't know any atheists (who once believed) who said "I'm not going to believe in God anymore", but I know plenty who said, "I just can't believe in God anymore".

 

 

but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop.

 

I disagree with this but I do understand where it's coming from. On the other end, I don't think a TRUE atheist can start believing in the supernatural (either again or for the first time), but there are those who say that's exactly what they did.

[Jean in Newcastle]

So you can somehow judge who was or wasn't a "true Christian"? :001_huh:

 

If you don't mind, can we keep this thread on people's own experiences? If you have stopped being a Christian, I'd love to hear your experience, LidiyaDawn.

[dcurry]

I also left & came back.

 

When I was in college, I went from going to church & Christian school to being on my own in a secular university at 17 years old. My faith was really challenged. I also stopped believing because I didn't have any evidence to back up what I believed. I still went to church, and didn't announce to my family my reservations, but I looked into just about every other religion possible, and considered no religion & evolution as well. I really wanted to know the truth. My dad is an atheist (or believes there is no way to know the truth), and is very scientifically minded. I take after him. I wanted evidence before I poured my life into it.

 

With all of my research, I found enough evidence to support the Bible (a historical document), and with enough study, I decided there was enough evidence to throw myself back into it, whereas there wasn't enough "evidence" in other religions I looked at to make me believe.

 

So, NOW, I am a Christian by choice because I believe it's the truth and backed by tons of evidence. So I throw my life into it, because there is no purpose for my life otherwise.

 

Yes, there are churches and Christians even who are far from perfect, myself included. There are people who can't answer your questions, so you go find someone who can. In ANY religion, if you want answers, you need to go find them. With my years of searching, I found answers in the Bible and in Christianity. I don't follow any particular doctrine, but get the truth straight from the Bible. My kids learn science. We don't call Bible "religion". And they will have to make their own decisions when they are older. I want them to know why they believe something.

 

I don't understand leaving a religion or belief system because of an experience at one church or even a couple. I think it's a good thing, and a natural thing, for people to do their searching and come to their beliefs on their own- especially in their late teens & early 20's when they start to question everything.

[BlsdMama]

Having faith in God and being a Christian is 2 different things. Someone can choose to stop believing in God, but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop. A Christian is someone who has placed their whole heart and lives in God's hands. That is not something that can be stopped, no matter what age you are. I do believe that someone can believe in God and then stop. The Bible says that even the demons believe... That doesn't mean that they are Christians!

 

I wish you were right. But I believe you are wrong.

 

The demons believe - true. Satan knows what you and I know - that Christ is the son of God. Is he a Christian - a follower of Christ, choosing to accept the gift of salvation and turning towards Christ to allow him to be the Lord over his life? Absolutely not.

 

And so it can be with those who have recognized the Truth. They can have known the truth and yet still turn their back on the gift of salvation, turning away from Christ and allowing themselves to be lord only of their lives. It is beyond my personal comprehension but of course it can happen.

 

Remember, Christianity is two fold - it is belief, but it also a free will choice. Christ can offer the gift, but you must choose to take it. And so by doing that can you not also give it back and say, "I don't want this." Satan knew Truth and chose instead to go his own way.

[freethinkermama]

I wish you were right. But I believe you are wrong.

 

The demons believe - true. Satan knows what you and I know - that Christ is the son of God. Is he a Christian - a follower of Christ, choosing to accept the gift of salvation and turning towards Christ to allow him to be the Lord over his life? Absolutely not.

 

And so it can be with those who have recognized the Truth. They can have known the truth and yet still turn their back on the gift of salvation, turning away from Christ and allowing themselves to be lord only of their lives. It is beyond my personal comprehension but of course it can happen.

 

Remember, Christianity is two fold - it is belief, but it also a free will choice. Christ can offer the gift, but you must choose to take it. And so by doing that can you not also give it back and say, "I don't want this." Satan knew Truth and chose instead to go his own way.

 

nm

[ondreeuh]

I was a fervent believer as a kid. Around the age of 13-ish I started to realize that my belief was really more about desire - I believed because I wanted what was promised. I wanted direction, complete acceptance, a "church family," a solution to my problems, all of that. I realized that those were not good reasons to blindly accept all the doctrine that just didn't make any sense. I was squashing my critical thinking skills in order to "have faith." I was actively telling myself that when things didn't make sense, it didn't really matter because I didn't need to understand them, I just needed to trust God. That never sit right or felt honest to me. I tried to go along with it, though.

 

My mother fought cancer when I was 13-15, and when I turned to my faith I came up empty. There was no "greater plan" for making my mother suffer and taking her from her family when she was only 41. That just sort of sealed the deal. When I made the conscious decision to stop pretending to believe, I felt relief.

 

It really irks me when churches market religion as a list of benefits. Accept God/Jesus and you will have everlasting life! Isn't that awesome; who wouldn't want that? A friend wanted me to become Mormon because the support network is so wonderful within the church and it helped her to have a happy life. Of course I want a support network and a happy life, but not if I have to fake belief to get it. I tried joining a UU church for the social support and children's programs, but it wasn't a magic answer.

 

When I watch

I just scratch my head and wonder how other people are able to accept this. It seems there just has to be a conscious decision to not be rational. This works for some, but not for me.

[Aubrey]

I would have been 14 or 15. Perhaps I would have stuck at it longer if there had been a polite enough way to ask questions.

 

 

Rosie

 

My mom was raised in the same denomination I was. She was told NEVER to ask questions. She only returned when I was born, in hopes that God could save *me.*

 

One thing she did significantly different from my grandmother was to encourage questions, let me talk to the pastor, etc.

 

I know what you mean.

[shinyhappypeople]

nevermind

Edited March 30, 2011 by shinyhappypeople

[LidiyaDawn]

Having faith in God and being a Christian is 2 different things. Someone can choose to stop believing in God, but I honestly don't think a TRUE Christian is someone who can just stop. A Christian is someone who has placed their whole heart and lives in God's hands. That is not something that can be stopped, no matter what age you are. I do believe that someone can believe in God and then stop. The Bible says that even the demons believe... That doesn't mean that they are Christians!

 

So you can somehow judge who was or wasn't a "true Christian"? :001_huh:

If you don't mind, can we keep this thread on people's own experiences? If you have stopped being a Christian, I'd love to hear your experience, LidiyaDawn.

 

That was my point. People are sharing their stories and 'teachmejoy' is basically saying that their stories can't be true. That doesn't sit well with me, regardless of what my own beliefs are.

[ondreeuh]

I wish you were right. But I believe you are wrong.

 

The demons believe - true. Satan knows what you and I know - that Christ is the son of God. Is he a Christian - a follower of Christ, choosing to accept the gift of salvation and turning towards Christ to allow him to be the Lord over his life? Absolutely not.

 

And so it can be with those who have recognized the Truth. They can have known the truth and yet still turn their back on the gift of salvation, turning away from Christ and allowing themselves to be lord only of their lives. It is beyond my personal comprehension but of course it can happen.

 

Remember, Christianity is two fold - it is belief, but it also a free will choice. Christ can offer the gift, but you must choose to take it. And so by doing that can you not also give it back and say, "I don't want this." Satan knew Truth and chose instead to go his own way.

 

Wait, why are you having this conversation on this thread? :confused: :confused:

 

Can't people talk about why they aren't Christians without the Christians butting in and discussing the "truth" of their beliefs? Sheesh!

[freethinkermama]

Wait, why are you having this conversation on this thread? :confused: :confused:

 

Can't people talk about why they aren't Christians without the Christians butting in and discussing the "truth" of their beliefs? Sheesh!

 

That must be a rhetorical question. ;)

[Amirah]

Age 23/24. I was raised Catholic. I have always had a strong faith in God, but I lost my faith in the 'Christian' God (as Audrey said; 'the whole story fell apart'). I am now a Muslim. I do not think my beliefs actually changed, just what I call them! Not sure if that's what you're after.

 

yes this right here is me my beliefs never changed just the name

[Jennifer3141]

That must be a rhetorical question. ;)

 

:D

 

I just love you!

[freethinkermama]

:D

 

I just love you!

 

*feeling the love * :001_smile: