Public school frustrations for former HSers

[LydiaG]

I homeschooled my two older boys until this year when they decided to attend public school (grades 1 and 2). I have been so frustrated with the teachers and the curriculum and the redundancy of it all. They are covering topics and materials that I taught them over a year ago. I have met with the teachers and the first grade teacher was supportive and said she would try to challenge him. The second grade teacher was been wishy-washy about what she can do. My second grade son has been coming home, complaining that he's bored. I'm thinking, "great! come home school again!" But I don't want him deciding every other year that the grass looks greener at public school, so I am making him stay at school until Christmas. Actually, he hasn't said he wants to come home, just that he's bored at school. (He really likes recess.)

 

So, I asked the 2nd grade teacher to have my son tested for gifted. I needed SOMETHING to challenge him. I just met with the supplemental education teacher and she essentially said that my son has holes in his learning (e.g., he can multiply 2x5, but he can't explain why he's doing it) and that he's completely average.

 

On the way home, I wanted to start bashing mailboxes. I am furious. While my son may not be gifted per se, he most certainly is not average. I feel like Bob in "The Incredibles": "They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional..." My husband has said that I need to just blow it off, and I will. But what should I do about my son? I don't want him to stagnate this year, but I don't want to pull him out. Should I invoke parental privilege and say that home school is for his own good? Good grief, that makes home schooling sound worse than getting shots.

[unsinkable]

I homeschooled my two older boys until this year when they decided to attend public school (grades 1 and 2). I have been so frustrated with the teachers and the curriculum and the redundancy of it all. They are covering topics and materials that I taught them over a year ago. I have met with the teachers and the first grade teacher was supportive and said she would try to challenge him. The second grade teacher was been wishy-washy about what she can do. My second grade son has been coming home, complaining that he's bored. I'm thinking, "great! come home school again!" But I don't want him deciding every other year that the grass looks greener at public school, so I am making him stay at school until Christmas. Actually, he hasn't said he wants to come home, just that he's bored at school. (He really likes recess.)

 

So, I asked the 2nd grade teacher to have my son tested for gifted. I needed SOMETHING to challenge him. I just met with the supplemental education teacher and she essentially said that my son has holes in his learning (e.g., he can multiply 2x5, but he can't explain why he's doing it) and that he's completely average.

On the way home, I wanted to start bashing mailboxes. I am furious. While my son may not be gifted per se, he most certainly is not average. I feel like Bob in "The Incredibles": "They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional..." My husband has said that I need to just blow it off, and I will. But what should I do about my son? I don't want him to stagnate this year, but I don't want to pull him out. Should I invoke parental privilege and say that home school is for his own good? Good grief, that makes home schooling sound worse than getting shots.

 

Oh, this makes me laugh!

 

I bet 90% of people who can do that can't explain why they are doing it. :lol:

 

ANd before anyone on here chimes in and tells me that her kids knew why when they were 2 years old, I stipulate that the 10% that can do it are on this board or related to those on this board...:tongue_smilie:

 

Have you checked the afterschool board?

 

I feel for you. We give up a lot when we send our kids to school. I just hope what you & your kids gain helps to balance it out. :grouphug:

[Murphy101]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

[FO4UR]

Why not make an academic decision based on academic reasons because you are the mom?

 

If recess is the main "PRO" for ps, the dc can find a social outlet elsewhere.

 

btw - I think most kids have trouble putting into WORDS what the do with NUMBERS. My 2nd grader has been doing simple multiplication for a long while. I'm certain he fully understands the concept b/c he can use multiplication to figure out real life problems. I doubt he would meet the ps teachers demands for "explaining it" it though, especially if she is looking for a specific vocabulary specific to whatever curric they are using in the ps. My ds7 would say 2x5 = "5 two times" = "2 five times"

 

Your kids may or may not be gifted, but that's not the point. The point is that they are sitting in a classroom for the purpose of being educated and education isn't happening..."gifted" is just a term to try to get them a better education, understandably. What the teacher is saying is, "I am not going to make any special accomodations to educate your child." To that, I'd say "Fine. I will." jmNSHo

:grouphug:

[skirch]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

:iagree:

[bettyandbob]

at that age, I wouldn't let the kids decide about where they go to school. I think you need to examine if there are other reasons you put them in school besides "they wanted to go". It may be not homeschooling is a good fit for you and your family at this time, but only you have all the facts on that.

 

You aren't going to change the curriculum. If you did ancient history last year and your school is doing it now, you aren't going to change that. Our public school follows state standards. There are topics that are scheduled to be introduced in each grade.

 

When does your district do official gifted testing. Mine does in mid second grade. If the child qualifies segregated placement is in third grade. Testing involves two different group administered IQ tests. IQ testing is a different measure than achievement testing. So, a child who knows the times tables early wouldn't necessarily qualify.

 

What are you asking the teacher. Depending on the state you are in, your son s are in class with 18-24 other kids. How differentiated are you asking the instruction to be. The local school where my son goes has 4 levels of reading and 4 levels of math in each classroom. Some kids leave the class for those subjects because they are working with the sp ed teacher, below the levels in class room.

 

If you want your child to be getting more out of school, one thing I do is supplement history and science. I follow closely what unit in these subjects the teacher is doing and find things to do at home or get library books on those topics. This enhances the classroom instruction, keeps the kids interested, and gives kids who need to go deep a chance to do so.

 

If you want to homeschool. Embrace it fully. Homeschool because it is the best thing for your kids, not because you want to criticize the local ps teachers. Homeschool as long as it fits your family. That may be until you move. That may be until you have a milestone educationally, like middle school or high school. That may be until you have a financial or health disruption. It maybe that you want them to make decisions about their education, but at 6 and 7, I'm not sure they are ready to decide. They are more swayed by what neighbor kids say about recess at that age.

 

I just think you need to think. Think about what your boys need. Think about what you are asking. Think about how to meet needs.

[Chris in VA]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

 

And :grouphug:. Perhaps she used the word "average" as a counterpoint to "gifted," not meaning mediocre, just meaning not gifted. That may be hard to hear, but it isn't bad, really.

 

If he has holes in his learning, it might be because the scope and sequence you used is different from the ps one. That is very common. It can look like a gap when really it is simply something that hasn't been covered yet, but would be if the same curricula were used. Or, it can be a hole--in which case, perhaps the one-on-one aspect of homeschooling would be better to make sure it gets filled in.

 

It does seem like you've left a major decision to a 7 year old. I understand wanting to please your child, but don't placate him at the risk of not doing what's best for him.

[mommaduck]

1st and 2nd grade...THEY should not be deciding the path of their education. That is YOUR decision.

[....]

:iagree: with what everyone has said. If you want to pull them from school to homeschool, then go for it! If it makes you feel any better, we did 2 years of public school and we were finished also. If you took a poll in our family, it would be unanimous that we prefer homeschooling to ps.

 

As far as ps teachers saying our kids have gaps, you should've seen the size of the gaps my kids had when I pulled them from ps. :D My poor daughter did 2 years of math last year. :glare:

 

It's all about what you and your husband decide to do about school. It's not up to pop culture or teachers or even the kids. Just you and your husband.

[laurad1125]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

 

While I always take their preferences into account, my boys do NOT make the decisions about their education. They are not equipped to make those decisions and I believe that is too big of a burden to place on a child.

Edited October 7, 2010 by laurad1125
Change that to DO NOT make the decisions. Ooooppps...

[OleanderRain]

:grouphug: My dd7 just decided that she wanted to go back to school, this is her first week. But just because she is going to school doesn't mean that we're going to stop homeschooling. Her teacher wasn't very thrilled when I told her :tongue_smilie: but we will continue with our lessons at home. Is this an option for you? And this suggestion may be way out there (I'm only suggesting it because you said your son is bored), but is it possible to send in extra work for your son? Maybe pack some worksheets in a folder that he can complete when he's finished his school work. I'm sure you'd have to get the teachers approval first.

[kalphs]

:iagree:

 

While I always take their preferences into account, my boys do make the decisions about their education. They are not equipped to make those decisions and I believe that is too big of a burden to place on a child.

Bump!

[fhjmom]

This is just my opinion so you take take it for what it is worth, but to me "giftedness" is different from being academically advanced. If your children have been exposed to material that the other children have not yet covered and mastered it, they may be academically advanced right now. Truly gifted children tend to process the information in a different, unique way. It's hard to explain what I mean but to me there is a difference. Now I realize that not all school programs use the same criteria I do, but I wouldn't take her comment about your DS being "average" as a negative. Most kids are average because, well, it's the average.

 

I agree with the others that your DC are too young to place the decision for their education in their hands. I do seek the input of my children and consider that, but they know that the final decision is up to DH and I. Afterschooling may be an option to help keep them challenged. I would seriously look at why they went to PS and decide if the experience is meeting your expectations in those areas. If not, then you and your DH can decide if it is time to bring them home again.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

This is just my opinion so you take take it for what it is worth, but to me "giftedness" is different from being academically advanced. If your children have been exposed to material that the other children have not yet covered and mastered it, they may be academically advanced right now. Truly gifted children tend to process the information in a different, unique way. It's hard to explain what I mean but to me there is a difference. Now I realize that not all school programs use the same criteria I do, but I wouldn't take her comment about your DS being "average" as a negative. Most kids are average because, well, it's the average.

 

I agree with the others that your DC are too young to place the decision for their education in their hands. I do seek the input of my children and consider that, but they know that the final decision is up to DH and I. Afterschooling may be an option to help keep them challenged. I would seriously look at why they went to PS and decide if the experience is meeting your expectations in those areas. If not, then you and your DH can decide if it is time to bring them home again.

:iagree: I wish I could add something but this about sums it up for me.

[Dawn in OH]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

[Mom in High Heels]

Why are you letting a 1st and 2nd grader decide where they want to go to school? That's not a decision for them to make. That is YOUR decision. You know what's best for them. If they aren't getting anything out of ps, why send them?

[MBM]

Here is an old thread about giftedness and what it means. I thought it was interesting.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1871543&highlight=gifted#post1871543

 

If you really prefer to keep your children in school, for whatever reason, I'd suggest you supplement in some way. We've done it for years, and my son has not burnt out yet or lost his love of learning. You would need to find what works well for you and your children.

[Tenaj]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

[bella_gitana]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

[Allearia]

I would say if homeschooling is something that you really want to do and it works for your family, I would keep them home. I have had some of the same worries about "socialization" and I know my kids would probably love recess and just go along with the academics but learn nothing. I would continue teaching after school, so they would be sitting in school for that long just to have recess. If the purpose of school is education, and they are not getting it there, it is sort of pointless. My kids are both "advanced" and thinking of the amount of fighting with the teachers and struggling to get them appropriate work and it still wouldn't really be at the right level in school makes my head hurt.

 

Of course, if I didn't want to homeschool, if I had to work, or for a bunch of other reasons if I needed them in school I would have them go and afterschool. Or if they were truly miserable at home and had no friends even after many months of trying to find playmates. But if the problem is that they want to play with other kids more you can make that happen homeschooling - it sometimes takes more work but maybe you can afford some regular classes or go to a homeschool group for the purpose of finding a couple of friends to invite over regularly. A two hour playdate a few times a week would hopefully trump ps recess.

[Pink Fairy]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

But, but, but... You left out the "This is what works for my family. Every family is different." Isn't that the rule around here whenever anyone favors homeschooling on a (mostly) homeschooling board? :lol:

[Word Nerd]

As an afterschooler to two girls in PS, I think it's my job to ensure that my kids are being challenged if their needs are not being met or at the level being taught at school in their grade. If you don't want to take them out and homeschool now (and if you don't trust their teachers or believe their assessment that there are learning gaps, why bother keeping them there any longer?), you might consider afterschooling in those areas. School choice doesn't have to be an either/or matter.

Edited October 7, 2010 by WordGirl

[Sputterduck]

Why are you leaving parenting decisions up to small children?

 

Clearly, you can give them a better education than they are getting. Why deny them the best education because of their whims?

 

Do not let a small child's youthful desires affect their ability to succeed as adults, which is what robbing them of a better education will do to them.

[dhudson]

What??? Kids get a choice in their education. Please, no one share with my kids. Given the choice, my kids might just choose to read all day.:glare:

[HS Mom in NC]

I think you are doing the equivalent of ordering French food at a Mexican restaurant. You seem to want a customized education, but you are sending your children to a mass production environment. They don't (and can't) do that there. Here there are about 25-30 children in PS classrooms, and there is no way a teacher can accommodate the desires of single parent, or heaven forbid, a handful of parents. Teachers are very restricted about what they can do in their classrooms. They do not have the freedoms HS parents have.

 

Young children should not be making the decision about where they are educated-especially ones that young.

 

Clearly their academic needs are not being met in PS. I can't think of a reason to continue sending them there if that's the case.

 

If they are attending for social reasons, I think there are far better ways to meet those needs than billing the taxpayer, on average, at $10,000 per year per child (the average reported cost of public education in the US.) There are all sorts of homeschool groups, co-ops, extra curricular type activities, etc. out there for homeschoolers.

[Teachin'Mine]

I don't think I'd have given them the option, but now that they're there, I'd try to get them to come to the conclusion that recess is fun, but that they'd rather be schooled at home.

 

How to go about that ... Were you involved in any homeschool groups last year? Do they have any friends who are homeschooled? Any science museums, zoos, or other places that were their favorites for homeschool field trips? I'd have a brochure or a newsletter from one of these on hand, and mention a program they have going during the week for homeschoolers and how it might be fun to go. Oh, nevermind it's during school time. Or invite another homeschool family over, and have them there a good bit before the boys get home. Make sure it's a family with kids who love homeschooling. I'd talk about what the homeschool group has planned for activities coming up. In other words, I'd remind them of the great things about homeschooling, and just keep mentioning things here and there, without spelling it out, so they can draw their "own" conclusions. I might have a math book that would be the next in line from what we had done last year out by the computer desk. See how long before he can't resist looking inside or asking if he could do some. Boredom at school is horrible.

 

I know this sounds underhanded, but I think it's important for them to decide to come home, and to decide it soon. The longer they spend in school, the more they'll become accustomed to it and might not mind it so much, or might make stronger friendships there, etc.. All those things can make it harder for them to decide to homeschool later. Once they do decide to come home, I would let them know that you'll be happy to do that, but no more asking to go to public school - you don't want this discussion every year. :tongue_smilie:

 

Our experience was that a teacher will promise to challenge a student, and then maybe one assignment will be given that doesn't even come near, and then it's the next conference, and before you know it it's the end of the year and nothing changed at all.

 

I know there are a lot of people who afterschool, but since your goal is to get them home, I'd resist the urge, and if your son starts work in books at home, I'd gently remind him that those are for homeschooling only, and you don't want him to get further ahead since school is already boring.

 

Just my thoughts on this. I hope you find something that works for you. :)

[cathmom]

I would never have given children that young a choice.

 

My oldest went to K and 1st in public school, and when we began homeschooling, the only things he missed were lunch, show and tell, and recess (although lack of supervision at recess was a real problem, so we didn't really care LOL). We solved that by creating a lunch menu and experimenting with new recipes, and by having a family show-and-tell Friday evenings.

 

If you want to homeschool, then take them out and homeschool them. If you don't want to homeschool, then you need to find ways to help your whole family adjust.

 

:grouphug:

[jplain]

Find out how to appeal the supplemental ed teacher's assessment. Generally you can opt to have private testing done.

 

My mom worked with a private evaluator (a pych grad student, I think) to make sure that each of the 6 of us were given tests that matched our strengths. Some tests are more verbal, some more visual, some emphasize reasoning more than others, etc. Some of my sibs (don't remember which) took more than one test before scoring high enough to qualify. It was win-win for all: we all were eventually admitted to the gifted program, and the student got experience administering different tests. I'm sure that being more familiar with the tests and the evaluator made a difference in our scores too!

 

Good luck!

[Mary in VA]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[LydiaG]

My husband and I prayed about sending our oldest 2 kids to school, and it was the right decision. It still is the right decision (for me and my other 2 kids).

 

I appreciate everyone's input. There has been some great advice.

 

I really don't know why dc wanted to go to ps. I've asked them, and they've been vague. I think they like to ride the bus with neighbor kids and they like recess.

 

I can't imagine that they didn't have enough friends while we home schooled. We were active in hs groups that met twice a week; our best friends hs.

 

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

I read through the post on gifted children. That was great! I wish I could think, explain, and write so clearly and succinctly.

 

I think what we will do is wait for a few weeks and then evaluate where we are and if it's a good time to bring them home again, which is the eventual goal.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree:

 

At some point, when my kids develop an appropriate level of maturity and are capable of serious reflection, I will probably give them a choice about attending school. The early elementary years, IMO, are nowhere near that time.

[kalanamak]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

:iagree:

 

Unless you have a frequent temper, I would reflect carefully on how a conversation with a teacher could make you want to bash mailboxes. It sounds radical to me.

 

Average, as in "not gifted", covers a lot of territory. I am fine with an average child. A ps is not going to give you concierge schooling, either. In a calmer moment, put yourself in the shoes of that teacher, with all 20+ sets of parents coming in and wanting something tailored to their kid.

 

If you want silk, don't look on the head of a sow, start growing your mulberry bushes at home.

 

I mean this to be helpful, and write straight from the hip, but in a spirit of caring.:grouphug:

[2squared]

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

My 3rd grader reads at a JR High level and is well ahead of math for her age. But these things aren't enough for a gifted label. She is bright and has had an enriching home life. She is not gifted. Maybe you need to ask the teacher to clarify her definition of average and gifted. Maybe one of you is thinking about academic progress and the other is thinking about natural abilities. :confused1:

 

From what I have seen, some kids are ahead in the early years largely due to environment but the others catch up by the end of elementary school. Others are bright early on and remain bright. Few - very, very few - are truly gifted.

[phathui5]

For us, in first or second grade, I wouldn't let my children choose to go to public school any more than I would let them eat McDonald's for every meal. It's junk food for your brain.

[SailorMom]

Just my $.02, and I've only read 1/2 the posts (sorry):

 

I agree the kids are too young to choose their education - my kids were given the choice when they started middle school (one stayed, one went to ps in 8th). However, if this is what is right for your family - that isn't an issue.

 

If you choose to place your kids in public school - you are accepting their educational program and the authority of the teacher in the classroom as far as the subjects and grade level presented. A ps teacher does not have the time or resources to cater to a few kids who have already learned what she/he is teaching. If you do not like it - you cannot ask them to change.

 

I wouldn't presume to have any idea whether your child is gifted; However- Most schools do not test for gifted until 3rd grade. Your children were exposed to more education and have more skills - but this is not what gifted education is for. Gifted is more of an "outside the box" kinda thing. In my gifted classes and program, many of the kids had the same knowledge as their peers - but were able to use that knowledge in ways that most people cannot. More facts/skills/ etc does not equal gifted.

 

You can choose to supplement their education at home, enroll them in enrichment classes, send them with good books to read if they finish their work early, enroll them in private school, or start homeschooling them again.

 

Good luck :grouphug:

[Murphy101]

My husband and I prayed about sending our oldest 2 kids to school, and it was the right decision. It still is the right decision (for me and my other 2 children.

 

K. If you say it is, then it is what it is and you'll just have to make the best of it.

 

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

I don't think you are lying or exaggerating. From what little you offer in this paragraph, I would say your child is indeed average. For that matter, your dc could be reading at a college level and four grades ahead in math, and it still does not mean they are gifted.

 

I think what we will do is wait for a few weeks and then evaluate where we are and if it's a good time to bring them home again, which is the eventual goal.

 

:confused: It seems apparent that I am missing some key info. If your goal is to bring them home, then I don't see much point in putting it off.:001_huh:

[TXMary2]

I haven't read the other replies yet so hopefully I am not off in my response to you. I don't let my children decide whether they will be homeschooled or not. There is no question about where they will be educated. I do let them make decisions within that realm - like do they want to do co-op or choosing betwen books etc, but as the parent I decide whether we homeschool or not.

[KrissiK]

I'm sorry about your frustration. Regarding asking the teacher to challenge your children - speaking as a former teacher, unfortunately this is very difficult. In realistic terms, how would you (not you personally, OP, but the collective "you" as in all parents who want their children challenged individually) define that and put that into action? I agree that it is a waste of time for a child to be in a classroom when they are very motivated, interested in the subject and possibly ahead of the rest of the group, because the teacher is generally occupied with classroom management, trying to motivate the unmotivated, teach those who do not understand and keep up with the "State Standards". I taught jr. high science in a CHristian school. I'd have between 25-30 kids in my classroom and maybe 2-3 kids per class who really loved science. THeir parents asked me to challenge them, but I'm thinking "HOW?" Give them extra work? Yeah, they'd love that! The only way I could really do that is if I had them alone in a separate class where we could just... go! Unfortunately, classroom teaching is geared to the "average" kid, the gifted ones get the shaft unless they are able to get into some special classes and the lower kids struggle.

[JVA]

I think first and second grade is too young to know what's best for their education.

 

If you don't feel they are getting a quality education, then pull them and give them one.

 

I hs because I believe it better, so I don't give my children a choice.

 

Might not be a popular opinion, but there it is.

 

:iagree: I SO agree with this. My children could not have made a good decision about this in 1st or 2nd grade. If they are home with you, you will be able to customize their curriculum to their gifts and abilities. Please re-consider.

[Joanne]

My husband and I prayed about sending our oldest 2 kids to school, and it was the right decision. It still is the right decision (for me and my other 2 kids).

 

I appreciate everyone's input. There has been some great advice.

 

I really don't know why dc wanted to go to ps. I've asked them, and they've been vague. I think they like to ride the bus with neighbor kids and they like recess.

 

I can't imagine that they didn't have enough friends while we home schooled. We were active in hs groups that met twice a week; our best friends hs.

 

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

I read through the post on gifted children. That was great! I wish I could think, explain, and write so clearly and succinctly.

 

I think what we will do is wait for a few weeks and then evaluate where we are and if it's a good time to bring them home again, which is the eventual goal.

 

I know that "we've prayed about it" functions often as code for "this is not up for discussion". However, I have such a completely different perspective on parenting, education, and decisions that your OP and follow up baffle me.

 

1st and 2nd graders don't know what they are asking for when they ask for public school. It's no more meaningful than if a public schooled 2nd grader asked to be homeschooled (except that the indoctrination/normalization doesn't exist in support of homeschooling).

 

Kids under the age of 10 (minimum) have no perspective or world view or wisdom on the complexity of educational setting decisions.

 

I find your role in response to your children to be "soft" and "pliable". I am not a soft, pliable parent.

 

I have some very strong opinions of "gifted" and the response to it. Leaving that aside, I used to provide the before and after school care of elementary aged kids at local public schools. This was in those schools. In a good district of Texas, in several schools, I found that the range of ability with regard to basic academic skills to be very wide. In my own homeschool (one with additional students), I've had early voracious readers and late readers I worried about (and posted here about). Those students are now teens and the one I worried most about is in an honors English class and my most voracious reader.

 

My point isn't to brag. ;) But that I think your range of experience and exposure is limited by the fact that your oldest kids are early elementary.

 

If I were you, I'd consider bringing them home and also evaluating the level of intentional, decisive parenting.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Joanne

[Mom-ninja.]

Well, in my family a child that young doesn't get to decide on his education. They are not mature enough.

 

I tell my kids simply that I am the parent and yes, that means I know better.

[Kate CA]

My husband and I prayed about sending our oldest 2 kids to school, and it was the right decision. It still is the right decision (for me and my other 2 kids).

 

I appreciate everyone's input. There has been some great advice.

 

I really don't know why dc wanted to go to ps. I've asked them, and they've been vague. I think they like to ride the bus with neighbor kids and they like recess.

 

I can't imagine that they didn't have enough friends while we home schooled. We were active in hs groups that met twice a week; our best friends hs.

 

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

I read through the post on gifted children. That was great! I wish I could think, explain, and write so clearly and succinctly.

 

I think what we will do is wait for a few weeks and then evaluate where we are and if it's a good time to bring them home again, which is the eventual goal.

 

Why are you allowing young children to decide their future? That is your job as a parent.

 

If you don't like the education they are getting at the PS (and I don't blame you there one bit) then bring them home. You don't get to change the way the whole classroom works for your sons. It seems like that is a lot to ask of a teacher in a PS setting. I think your expectations are unrealistic. What you want is a quality personalized education for your children--you get that by doing it yourself at home.

[Mom-ninja.]

My husband and I prayed about sending our oldest 2 kids to school, and it was the right decision. It still is the right decision (for me and my other 2 kids).

 

I appreciate everyone's input. There has been some great advice.

 

I really don't know why dc wanted to go to ps. I've asked them, and they've been vague. I think they like to ride the bus with neighbor kids and they like recess.

 

I can't imagine that they didn't have enough friends while we home schooled. We were active in hs groups that met twice a week; our best friends hs.

 

I guess what bothered me about the meeting was that the supplemental teacher was slightly patronizing. My son reads on a 7th grade level (according to their test) and is doing math work a grade ahead, and yet he is "average". I have no problem with him being called "average", except that he's not. I'm not blind to his weaknesses. I don't think I am lying or exaggerating his strengths.

 

I read through the post on gifted children. That was great! I wish I could think, explain, and write so clearly and succinctly.

 

I think what we will do is wait for a few weeks and then evaluate where we are and if it's a good time to bring them home again, which is the eventual goal.

 

:confused: Your response just confuses me.

 

 

I know that "we've prayed about it" functions often as code for "this is not up for discussion". However, I have such a completely different perspective on parenting, education, and decisions that your OP and follow up baffle me.

 

1st and 2nd graders don't know what they are asking for when they ask for public school. It's no more meaningful than if a public schooled 2nd grader asked to be homeschooled (except that the indoctrination/normalization doesn't exist in support of homeschooling).

 

Kids under the age of 10 (minimum) have no perspective or world view or wisdom on the complexity of educational setting decisions.

 

I find your role in response to your children to be "soft" and "pliable". I am not a soft, pliable parent.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

I do not understand what you are asking for. You stated that your dc are in school because they wanted to go. You stated that you do not know why they want to be in school. Then you stated that you and your DH prayed about it and it is the right decision. Ok, As Joann mentioned that means that you don't want to discuss it the reasons. Yet, you are questioning the decision. You make it sound like it was your dc decision, and one you don't understand.

 

I guess I don't know what you're looking for in your posts.

[danivdp]

My DD wanted to go to school last year. (She's a 4th grader) and I asked her why. She said "I wanna ride my bike to school like the neighbor" So now we ride bikes to the local elementary school once a week and right back home to our school. You should see the looks I get from the crossing guards, LOL.

 

IDK what you should do....if your kids are happy there and you allowed them to choose, why worry? They will choose to come home when/if they want if you give them the authority to make those choices.

[HS Mom in NC]

You mention the kid is a single grade level ahead in math. Any HS parent who has seriously compared math curriculum knows that was is labeled one grade in one curriculum can be listed as a grade or two above OR below in another curriculum. This is particularly true in basic arithmetic. Now, the 12 year old I personally know who completed all higher math including college level Calculus by age 11 is gifted. (He learned it from textbooks by himself without a teacher-his parents didn't take math that advanced.)

 

I suspect you may be misinterpreting the reading score. I believe those tests mean a child that scores at the 7th grade level does not mean your child has the academic and cognitive skills of a typical 7th grader. It means your child did as well as a typical 7th grader would do taking the test your child took. There's a big difference between the two.

 

It is typical of a HS child doing the grade level thing (I'll spare you on why I think grade levels are the biggest con job in modern times and create a culture of mediocrity) to be about 2 years ahead of a typical PS child his age doing the grade level thing. Why? Because a PS teacher is getting 25-30 kids through the material. They have to slow down for those slower kids and pull back the faster kids while sticking to a very rigid schedule all the while dealing with discipline issues. It only takes 1 undisciplined child to derail the learning experience for the other 29.

 

A HS kid can work at his own pace and has to wait for no one. It's so common among HSers doing school in a box to be done with their grade level by Spring that I've seen homeschool group discussions dedicated to what to do in the mean time.

 

If what you listed is your criteria for gifted, you are simply mistaken. Unless you have some other sort of criteria to go by, I think you may need to accept that children in enriching homeschooling environments are usually more advanced, but they are not necessarily gifted. If typical PS kids had the same environment, they would too.

 

I am wondering what exactly you're waiting FOR? Is there some specific event you are hoping will happen in the next days, weeks, or months that will justify taking them out of PS? Is there some piece of information you are hoping to gain in that time that you don't have right now? What will you gain by waiting until later to remove them? What do you have to lose by removing them from PS now?

[Chris in VA]

BTW, Welcome to The Boards.:D;)

[FairProspects]

I'm thinking you may want to cross-post this on the afterschooling board. There are some over there who have gotten quite good at working cooperatively with teachers to achieve the best outcomes for their students.

[kalanamak]

 

I really don't know why dc wanted to go to ps. I've asked them, and they've been vague. I think they like to ride the bus with neighbor kids and they like recess.

 

 

Most 1st and 2nd graders are vague about their motivations beyond "I think that toy is fun" or "yea! a trip to the zoo". I wouldn't expect them to have a well-thought out reason they could communicate with you.

 

As an example, when I moved to Australia I had to pick a religion for religion class (a weekly class). I had no clue and picked Catholic because my sister's name was Kathy. I was just 9, and not a dullard, either. That is how kids make decisions past the "fun factor".

[ChemMommy]

Please remember that when a child scores "7th grade" it usually means that she/he is reading that material as well as a 7th grader would read that material, NOT that they are reading 7th grade material. Big difference and often confused.

[StephanieZ]

Your 1st & 2nd graders decided where and how they would be educated this year?

 

Is this for real?

 

I don't mean to sound harsh, but really, that is bonkers!

 

Who are the parents? Who calls the shots?

 

I wonder about how hard it will be to guide my kids in choosing the colleges at 17. . . I couldn't fathom allowing them input on something as fundamentally important as the basic structure of their education at age 7 or 8, let alone the deciding vote.

 

Gifted is an IQ thing. You can probably have your kids tested privately for IQ & submit the results to the school system. If you think that's appropriate, go ahead and do it.

 

Meanwhile, rethink the unhealthy power you are giving to your kids. It is not good for them, and it is not good for you. Kids have parents to make these big life decisions for them!