I failed homeschooling my Kindergartener...

[indigomama]

Okay, I'm usually a lurker on these boards, but I've been coming here a long time and you guys give great advice and encouragement and I need some.

 

I officially started homeschooling my DS6(5 when we started) this year, for Kindergarten. We completed My Father's World Kindergarten program and he did great. We finished early (in March) because I had my fourth child. We took a break for a few months and in July I felt like the phonics wasn't enough in MFW so we started working through OPGTR and he is flying through it. So, I was feeling pretty good, until......

 

Today, we went to a local Children's Festival in the park and I was talking to a local Kindergarten teacher and founder of a private school. I had been interested in it before and I went to talk to them. Well, she basically told be (nicely) that my son was really behind and if I enrolled him, he would be put in the Kindergarten class again. That he was only reading at a PreK level and there was no way he'd go into a 1st grade class. :confused:

 

Now, I feel like I've let him down. Should he be in school? Do I keep homeschooling? Is he really "behind"?

 

Anyway, thanks for listening to me, if you've read this far.

[Liz CA]

In ten years (really much sooner!) when your son will read, will it matter if he learned to read in PreK or during 1st grade???

 

My ds still had trouble reading in 2nd grade when he was in Public School. I worked with him every evening. He progressed and finally read fluently some time in third grade. Now he is 19 and still reads fluently. :lol:

It does not matter anymore when he acquired the skill, what matters is that he did acquire it.

 

I would NOT stop homeschooling based on the comment of one person who may just want to point out how "superior" her methods are, in her own mind at least.

 

[kmacnchs]

How does she know this? Did he read something for her? My kids do not read as well for others as they do for me. Some would say that is a warning sign right there but I just (choose to) think it is because they are young and building their confidence.

 

Where is he in OPG?

 

Before I could comment further, I would need to know the answer to these two questions...

 

In my state, children are not expected to read bob books until they are finishing kindergarten...so I guess it would depend on the state and private school requirements as well...

[staceyobu]

If I remember correctly, my mom who is working on her PhD in reading told me that countries with the highest literacy rates don't start teaching boys to read until the age of 7. Here they are supposed to be reading CVC words by the end of kindergarten, I believe. I cannot imagine him being "behind" by most standards.

 

If he's making forward progress, what difference does it make if he is behind or ahead? It's like walking... does it matter if a kid learns to walk at ten months or sixteen months? No, at two they are all running. Who cares if he's reading great at 4 or at 7? As long as he learns to read!

[CalicoKat]

:grouphug: Did she do an evaulation of your son or is this just her opinion based on one interaction with him?

 

Don't be discouraged. She's probably trying to drum up enrollment for her school. What's your gut feel on your son's education? Don't let her persuade you one way or another. Your son's probably doing just fine.

[Skadi]

I'm confused. Did you have your son tested? From your post it sounds like this teacher is just making a anecdotal judgment without adequate information to back it up. Founder of a private school or not, she has no idea what she's talking about unless your son has been given a real examination.

[EKS]

he was only reading at a PreK level

 

I didn't know one could actually *read* at a pre-K level.

 

From your post, it sounds like your son is making great progress. I'm sure you're doing just fine.

[kokotg]

If he's "behind" because he's not reading completely fluently at the start of first grade, that's a problem with this school, not with your son.

 

My now 7 year old son started first grade struggling in reading, but by the end of the year he LOVED to read and was tearing through chapter books. You hear over and over again about kids (especially boys) who have a hard time getting started with reading then suddenly take off. A kindergarten or first grade teacher who can't differentiate enough to support kids who are at different but still age appropriate (i.e. there are no learning disabilities) reading levels needs to take a serious, critical look at him/herself.

 

Fortunately, as a homeschooler, you don't have to worry about this. You can work at your son's pace and be content in the knowledge that he's making steady progress and having a great time learning.

Edited July 31, 2010 by kokotg

[FO4UR]

You haven't failed anything!

 

He is learning, and you were happy with his progress before talking with this teacher...what does she have to gain by making you feel like a failure?

 

idk...maybe *her* kindergarteners are reading War and Peace by the end of Kindy, but at what cost and what are her methods? fwiw - Some kids learn to read at a 1st/2nd grade level VERY fast with sight words only to come to a grinding halt by 4th grade b/c they can't truly *read.* If that's the case, then your slow and antiquated methods (phonics LOL) are working for your ds, so just keep up the good work!

[Remudamom]

Oh please. You should have laughed her right out of the park.

[Pretty in Pink]

From your post, it sounds like your son is making great progress. I'm sure you're doing just fine.

 

:iagree: Reading is one of those things that just seems to click one day. You have not failed your child with your instruction. He is only six. The fact that a teacher would say that a 6 year old is behind in his reading ability bothers me.

 

Do not worry about what this teacher said to you. How sad that a 6 year old (in her school) would be held back. How can you fail kindergarten? Sheesh.:001_huh:

[Teachin'Mine]

Is your son happy?

 

If he is, then he has passed Kindergarten with flying colors!!! :)

 

Seriously - how ridiculous to say that he'd be "behind" if enrolled in her school. As has been mentioned, it won't even matter in a few short years where he was at in reading at age six. I don't think it's on any college applications either. ;)

 

Keep up the good work - he's got an awesome teacher!!! :)

[ChrisOR]

Failed?! No way! You said he did great with MFW K, your siggy says he's begging for 1st grade to start, and you are pleased with the progress he is making with the phonics you are using currently.

 

Private schools tend to brag about early reading. I'd ask myself how much he learned this past year beyond testable skills. I think feeding his thoughts and not just building his skills creates a true learner, one who will desire to read better and better and more and more.

[indigomama]

No, she didn't talk to him at all, beside asking his name. Her basis for the comment was because I told her, that he can read collection one(from costco) of the Bob books and is not all the way through collection 2. I told her he knows CVC words really well, but we have not covered long vowel sounds. But he would not have been able to read her little "test". Their curriculum is Abeka.

 

We are on lesson 50 in OPGTR. We usually do 2 lessons a day. He hasn't had any problems with it so far.

 

My DH thinks I'm crazy, that he's fine. A friend who has homeschooled in the past but put her youngest in public school for Kindergarten says her daughter can't even read that. That all she learned this year were sight words and her letters.

 

I just feel that I've let him down, because he could be reading by now.

 

I have really appreciated all of your thoughts, thank you.

[Pretty in Pink]

I just feel that I've let him down, because he could be reading by now.

 

Maybe. Maybe not. :001_smile:

 

Your ds will only be able to read when he is cognitively ready to read. If he's not ready yet then even that fancy pants private school would not have him reading. They would, however, be holding him back and communicating to him that he was not smart enough to be promoted with his peers.

 

You're doing a fine job. Better than fine. Really. Keep up the good work!:grouphug:

[Food4Thought]

Reading is just one skill among MANY that children learn. It's overrated. Sweden has one of the highest literacy rates in the world (99.9%), and they don't start teaching reading until age 7. Some kids don't have the eye/brain coordination to decode words until age 8 or well beyond.

 

If your son loves school, you WIN. Because he'll continue to love learning, instead of being told he's "behind" all the time. Behind what? Behind on being able to be a kid? Seriously!

 

Think about what would happen to your DS if this lady got him in her school. He'd get frustrated, think he was dumb, think he was behind... Now think about what your DS is like when you teach him. He enjoys it, right? That's the magic of homeschooling - if, at the end of the day, your son still loves to learn - and not just reading, but math and science and history and geography and about people and cultures and everything else, then you deserve a big gold star for your success.

[sarawatsonim]

I don't think that I would want to send my child to a school that would make a child repeat kindergarten because they aren't at the reading level they have determined they should be. I want her to be in an environment that celebrates her progresses big or small. In no way should a child be considered behind in reading when they just finished K no matter what their reading level.

[Colleen in NS]

Oh please. You should have laughed her right out of the park.

 

:lol::lol::lol: :iagree:

 

I just feel that I've let him down, because he could be reading by now.

 

I wonder how many of her 09/10 Kindergartners are having to be held back in K for the upcoming year, then. I wouldn't be surprised if there were several.

 

Some kids "catch on" to reading at 3 or 4, some don't catch on until a few years after that, even with diligent teaching.

 

You are doing just fine.

[fairfarmhand]

you know what...your kid may be the average kid when it comes to school... and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=175542&highlight=average

 

He is doing fine. Comparisons usually lead to discontent. My child was reading at your kid's level in mid-first grade! And now she reads pretty close to grade level.

[Forget-Me-Not]

One of the beauties of homeschooling is that children don't *have* to be pushed into things they aren't quite ready for, like reading! Don't sweat it mama, he'll pick it up. Sounds like he's doing just fine.

[Embassy]

I didn't know one could actually *read* at a pre-K level.

 

From your post, it sounds like your son is making great progress. I'm sure you're doing just fine.

 

:iagree:

[Embassy]

I just feel that I've let him down, because he could be reading by now.

 

 

Your signature says he is begging for first grade to start. Maybe you could have pushed him and have him reading at a higher level, but he has something more important. He wants to learn. That can be squished out of a kid. What matters more - a child reading long vowel words or a child who wants to learn? You are doing a great job!

[RoughCollie]

Oh please. You should have laughed her right out of the park.

 

:iagree:

[M&M]

When I read your post title my first thought was "IMPOSSIBLE!!" If your son is learning, he is fine, do not let yourself fall into the comparison trap. I don't care what that woman told you, it is impossible for every child to learneverything according to a schedule. Some children learn to read at 3 or and some not until much much later. Children that learn things later tend to learn them much quicker, so at some point things begin to even out.

 

I have five children, some have learned to read earlier and some later....neither is a reflection on how well I did teaching them. My 6 yo ds is going into 1st and has progressed through OPGR much faster than my dd who is 8 (she will finish this summer), but dd 8 s reading chapter books much earlier than her older brother and sister did.

 

What I am trying to say is that don't let someone tell you that you are not doing a great job, I know lots of schools that are academically advanced, they often push students so hard that learning is a chore. K should be fun, learning should not be a quest to check off boxes on some "expert's" list, it should be a gradual building of skills to make lifelong learners. Charlotte Mason describes education as "lighting a fire" in a child not filling a bucket. Don't let the bucket fillers spoil the joy of taking time with your little ones and walking this journey together. They don't understand, they want to scare you into thinking that if your K'er isn't reading "on level" he will be "behind" for life.... sounds rather silly, no?

 

Sounds like she was trying to drum up more students for her school. Those who only understand classroom/traditional education will not grasp that homeschooling does not fit into the box in which they put education.

 

From what you are doing, I think you are fine! Keep moving forward, keep learning, read to your little ones and have lots of fun!!

[Mrs Mungo]

When I read your post title my first thought was "IMPOSSIBLE!!" If your son is learning, he is fine, do not let yourself fall into the comparison trap. I don't care what that woman told you, it is impossible for every child to learneverything according to a schedule. Some children learn to read at 3 or and some not until much much later. Children that learn things later tend to learn them much quicker, so at some point things begin to even out.

 

I have five children, some have learned to read earlier and some later....neither is a reflection on how well I did teaching them. My 6 yo ds is going into 1st and has progressed through OPGR much faster than my dd who is 8 (she will finish this summer), but dd 8 s reading chapter books much earlier than her older brother and sister did.

 

What I am trying to say is that don't let someone tell you that you are not doing a great job, I know lots of schools that are academically advanced, they often push students so hard that learning is a chore. K should be fun, learning should not be a quest to check off boxes on some "expert's" list, it should be a gradual building of skills to make lifelong learners. Charlotte Mason describes education as "lighting a fire" in a child not filling a bucket. Don't let the bucket fillers spoil the joy of taking time with your little ones and walking this journey together. They don't understand, they want to scare you into thinking that if your K'er isn't reading "on level" he will be "behind" for life.... sounds rather silly, no?

 

Sounds like she was trying to drum up more students for her school. Those who only understand classroom/traditional education will not grasp that homeschooling does not fit into the box in which they put education.

 

From what you are doing, I think you are fine! Keep moving forward, keep learning, read to your little ones and have lots of fun!!

 

:iagree: I also agree with Remudamom.

[Firestar Academy]

From your post it sounds like this teacher is just making a anecdotal judgment without adequate information to back it up. Founder of a private school or not, she has no idea what she's talking about unless your son has been given a real examination.

:iagree:

[NanceXToo]

Ridiculous.

 

There's a book called "Better Late Than Early." You should see if your library has it and read it just to get a different viewpoint.

 

With that said, your son sounds like he's doing fine. You certainly did not fail and you should never consider giving up homeschooling because of someone like her saying something like that.

 

Oh and by the way? The kindergarten curriculum *I* chose for MY son (Oak Meadow) is going to have him spending Kindergarten learning the upper case letters of the alphabet and the numbers 1-10 in hands on ways via story telling, music, drawing, nature and hands on activities like forming the shapes with sticks, bread dough, and so on.

 

It does not focus on having them able to read by the end of the year. It's more laid back in the earliest years. I appreciate that about it as I think that today's Kindergartens (in schools especially) are TOO academic. Nothing like what they used to be when I was in K, that's for sure. And I don't think that's a good thing, personally.

 

Keep doing what you're doing with your son at your own pace and his. If it's working and he's happy, who cares what some pompous private school teacher thinks.

[Mommee & Baba]

I think the mama's here have said wonderful and encouraging things just as I feel too!!

 

If your son loves school then you've done a WONDERFUL job in my book! Plus what matters is that he has a LOVE for learning and it sounds like he does!

 

I didn't know ps prekers learn to read...as I was unaware of prek level reading?? Maybe I'm just lost on that one forever lol! :confused:

 

I'm not saying this to sound ugly but I've found from my personal experience ps teachers/staff tend to doll up their system against homeschoolers...stating false information just to doll up their system.

[Starr]

Oh please. You should have laughed her right out of the park.

 

:iagree:

[M&M]

After reading your siggy I must amend what I just said. You are not doing fine, you are doing AMAZING!! You have twin 4 yo boys and a newborn and you finished MFW K early!!! Are you kidding me? When I was pregnant I was so sick we barely got anything done! Do not beat yourself up about this, put this woman and her comments out of your mind. I bet she could not manage what you have this year!

 

You go girl!!

[Farrar]

I feel like professional educators like to use reading as if it's some magical secret thing that only they understand and they refuse to believe the rest of us can teach our kids how. It sounds like she's in that camp. Is she anti-homeschooling? I would never trust a school where preK kids were required to know CVC words or where K'ers were required to read beyond CVC words or be considered failures. Sure, some can, but that's simply not a developmentally appropriate expectation for all kids.

[M&M]

I feel like professional educators like to use reading as if it's some magical secret thing that only they understand and they refuse to believe the rest of us can teach our kids how. It sounds like she's in that camp. Is she anti-homeschooling? I would never trust a school where preK kids were required to know CVC words or where K'ers were required to read beyond CVC words or be considered failures. Sure, some can, but that's simply not a developmentally appropriate expectation for all kids.

 

 

:iagree:

[*Amber*]

My DD finished PS Kindergarten last year, and she is just reading CVC and it was an advanced kindy (supposed to be best in state). There is no such thing as a pre-k reading level. Most kids aren't reading above CVC if at all after kindy. At least not around here.

 

Your son sounds great to me.

[indigomama]

Oops, I put the wrong number in. I was updating because 2 kiddos had b-days. I don't have twins; three boys 6, 4, and 2, and one girl 4 months:001_smile:

 

Thank you for the comment though.

 

 

 

After reading your siggy I must amend what I just said. You are not doing fine, you are doing AMAZING!! You have twin 4 yo boys and a newborn and you finished MFW K early!!! Are you kidding me? When I was pregnant I was so sick we barely got anything done! Do not beat yourself up about this, put this woman and her comments out of your mind. I bet she could not manage what you have this year!

 

You go girl!!

[CanaryMelody]

Haven't read all the responses, but I agree. My oldest daughter went to a private school for kindergarten and they were going to fail her for not reading. Failing a kid at kindergarten! But I was incredibly worried and anxious because of her reading abilities. I started homeschooling the next year. She didn't start reading until age 8. Once she got started reading, it came quickly! Now at age 12 she reads anything and everything. There was nothing wrong with her at that private school. She just wasn't ready to read.

 

My 2nd daughter is now starting to read at age 5. Every child develops at their own pace. I wouldn't worry about one person's opinion. Sounds like your son is doing just fine! Relax and enjoy the homeschooling journey! :)

[M&M]

You are welcome, but twins or no I still stand by what I said. Homeschooling with lots of littles is always a challenge and a joy!

[indigomama]

I can't tell you all, how much I have appreciated all the words of encouragement. I feel better already:blush:.

 

I'm not usually one who compares myself or my kids with others. Or even one to doubt myself (too much) when it comes to parenting, but for some reason, I left the park feeling so deflated.

 

But you are right. I want to teach my DC the joy in learning. And I want to enjoy the journeys their on, I just need to remind myself of that, it's a process not a checklist. Thank you:grouphug:. This group is great!

[Dobela]

If you really want to compare your home school, compare it to the national standards by experts like the NAEYC. The NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) does NOT advocate pushing reading that soon or having expectations that high for that age. In fact, many of the practices seen in Kindy and low grades (at least around here) are contrary to what is deemed best and appropriate by the NAEYC.

[Mommy22alyns]

I don't think it's really possible to fail homeschooling a K'er. :)

[Cindyz]

If your son is on lesson 50 in OPG, he's reading more than cvc words. My son is officially K age but I consider what he's doing first grade. We are on lesson 52 in OPG and right now it's taking us a couple days per lesson to master it before we move on. Are you doing a spelling program? My son can spell many words that he's not able to read without some help.

 

Can you look at the test scores from this person's school? Are they on greatschools.com? I'd look at them just out of curiosity.

[tangomoon]

Your son LOVES learning? That's fabulous! It sounds like you've done a great job with the basics and laid a good foundation for him for next year. It sounds like he's got a great grasp on phonics for his level, and will probably catch on to the next steps quickly.

 

My DH taught 1st grade for many years, and it was so sad that he always had students who no longer enjoyed learning and felt like failures at age 6 because of their K experiences. One of his biggest goals was to keep learning fun for them. He also had students come into 1st grade not knowing many of the letters or sounds, as well as those already reading fluently. It was a huge spectrum.

 

PS: We're planning to use MFW for K, too.

[Tutor]

I have four children and they all learned to read at different ages:

 

dc1 - age 5/6

dc2 - age 4

dc3 - age 7/8

dc4 - age 6

 

Every child is different, but one thing that I did notice with the first three was that although they all learned to read at different ages, by the beginning of third grade they were all at about the same reading level.

 

Just teach your child and try not to focus too much on "norms." I know that it is hard, esp with your first, but it will help your sanity if you can. :D

[AppleGreen]

Honestly, that would tell me all I needed to know about the school. I have a very happy nine a half year old reader who was not really reading well until this year. The light turns on at different times for everyone and any principal who doesn't acknowledge and honor that is missing the boat, ESPECIALLY if she "gleaned" all of that from a conversation in the park.

 

How do you feel your child is doing? Go from there.

[LisaKinVA]

But he would not have been able to read her little "test". Their curriculum is Abeka..

 

As someone who has used Abeka for 4 children now... the Kindergarten program moves fast. It does go through SOME blends (no digraphs, or dipthongs until 1st grade), and they do introduce two vowels go walking and silent "e" rules.

 

That said, Grade 1 Phonics picks up with...drumroll... short vowels, consonants and blends. They review the charts for 2.5 weeks, and when they do begin reading he first grade reader (#1) Fun with Pets starts with CVC words, and gradually moves forward into simple blends, and ENDS with long "e" about the end of the first 6 weeks of school. There are plenty of opportunities in the Abeka curriculum for your son to pick-up exactly where he is.

 

I'm only telling you this, because I don't believe your son would have any problem with the 1st grade Abeka reading curriculum (other than the potential for a little confusion with the process Abeka uses to sound out... using ba-be-bi-bo-bu, instead of -at, -it, -et, etc.)

 

We're talking a difference in how/when things are introduced (scope & sequence), not necessarily mastered. I would hazzard to guess that many of their little Kers have to be routinely reminded of the blending and long-vowel rules

 

The majority of Kers are right where yours is -- and yours is telling you he's ready for more. This does not sound like any type of failure to me!

 

Lastly, if you're using OPGR and First Language Lessons in grade 1, your son will be at minimum, on-par with an Abeka student -- and a lot less bored :lol:

[kym]

three boys 6, 4, and 2, and one girl 4 months:001_smile:

 

 

....and you made it through Kindergarten! You are amazing! Congratulations! :001_smile:

[Tullia]

Sounds to me like you had a fantastic year. Was that woman trying to discourage you into enrolling at her school? My guess would be it's either that or she thinks that only "professionals" are qualified to teach reading. My son had a classmate who entered K (at public school) already a fluent reader, while my ds didn't really click with reading until a few weeks into 1st grade. By 3rd grade both boys were reading at the same level--both were well ahead of grade level by the school's standards. We started to homeschool in 4th grade so my comparison stops at that point.

 

The only reasonable alternative to public or homeshcool we had at that time was what I referred to as D&K Academy--as in drill & kill the love of learning. They had fairly rigid ideas about how and when students should learn to read.

[Rosy]

I don't think it's really possible to fail homeschooling a K'er. :)

 

:iagree:

[LG Gone Wild]

Oh please. You should have laughed her right out of the park.

 

:iagree:

[ereks mom]

I'm confused. Did you have your son tested? From your post it sounds like this teacher is just making a anecdotal judgment without adequate information to back it up. Founder of a private school or not, she has no idea what she's talking about unless your son has been given a real examination.

 

OP, she was just feeding you a line. :glare:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Let me start by saying that I don't think that your son or you have *Failed* at kindergarten. Nor do I think that the woman from the school has enough information to make an assessment of his abilities and appropriate grade level.

 

Then I'm going to gently ask if there were things that you could have done differently.

 

I'll ask that because my youngest son also took a while to get reading down. He is a rising third grader and is still not comfortable reading chapter books. What he does have is a love of stories and an interest in reading. He keeps carrying around Harry Potter and "reading" it one page at a time, because he so wants to know what is in this big book that his brothers keep rereading.

 

Things that contributed to ds#3's later reading. First off, he's just a different person than his brothers were. I got pretty spoiled with his brothers, who were both earlier readers. I have to keep focusing on what #3 does well and the progress he's made in a year, not compare him to where his brothers were at the same grade.

 

He had a speech problem to overcome. He wasn't speaking clearly when he hit kindergarten. Nothing that was enough to warrant therapy, but sloppy enough pronounciation that with our early phonics work, he was learning to say the sounds at the same time he was learning to read the sounds.

 

Two different moves during the time he was learning to read. One was an overseas move and included two months in transit with grandparents. During these moves and transfers, I wasn't as dilligent as I should have been with daily regular work with him. Not just from our phonics instruction book but also with lots of regular read alouds to fill him with the sounds of written language.

 

I say all that about our journey because sometimes a comment like that stings because there is something that we haven't been quite satisfied with or that we've intended to improve, but just haven't bitten the bullet on. I've had to really look at the school subjects that I tend to push to the back and bring them forward. My kids don't improve on their own in areas that I'm not willing to exert myself more on.

 

So I wouldn't beat myself up about his being at the reading stage he's in. That seems well within the spectrum of appropriate kindergarten levels. The program you're using is a good program and your son is responding to it.

 

But I would ask myself if it rankles because there are things that I need to change and habits and priorities that need to be different.