So, about this B/f and modesty problem...I've got a story from today

[FaithManor]

A friend and I were with two of our children watching an Independence Day parade. It was a very nice parade, well, up until a point. Another dear friend was there with her 5 month old who was getting rather hungry and cranky. It was 89 degrees outside. Friend, who is always very, very sensitive to the feelings of others, pulled out a nursing cover (she has one that velcros around the neck and then hangs very losely around her body but gaps just enough at the top for her to see baby's face. Literally, if someone wanted a view, they'd have to stand behind her, leer over her head, and bend to get a good peek.

 

I felt bad for the baby because it was already so hot but none of the businesses were open for her to duck into and it was a long walk back to her vehicle which would have been piping hot! For my money, she should have ditched the nursing slingy thing. But, she's a pastor's wife and her husband, a total b/f supporter and who doesn't care who feeds their babies in church, has told her that because he's a pastor and he's encountered people who are really put off by it and he has to "get along" with some of these people, that she has to stay covered up when not in the privacy of their home or some dear friend's house who doesn't care.

 

At any rate, this 30's something woman walking by leaned over, total stranger mind you, and said, "I'm just so glad that you are wearing something like this. After all, you should really be inside so that no one even has to think about the fact that a baby is sucking on you, but at least no one can really see anything so we can kind of ignore it!" Just as she was making this completely outrageous, rude, ignorant, unebelievably IDGIT, statement, a float went by that appalled all of us. A local bar had a float blarring the kind of rock music that ALL of us would be enraged for our children to hear (totally porno lyrics) and two 20 something girls dressed in thongs (that's right, THONGS) and bikini tops that literally just barely covered their nipples and nothing else, were bending over and tossing candy to the kids!

 

I was absolutely disgusted. My 13 year old boy looked at me and said, "Mom, those girls are creeps. How gross! Don't they have any self-respect?" The rude woman looked up, saw the float, and told her kids to run and get the candy. Not one bit of outrage expressed about the float but she just had to stop and hassle our friend. The other gal and I looked at each other, nodded, and I said very loudly, "So you don't have a problem with the porn show on the float but how dare a very hungry baby get fed when you can't see anything! Boy, your kids are going to be really screwed up!!!"

 

Not my most Christian moment at all and I felt kind of rotten about returning the rudeness with like behavior. But, I just could not for the life of me imagine what had gone wrong inside that woman's brain that she was offended by breast feeding but completely okay with the rated X show on that float.

 

I sometimes feel like a complete misfit in my own country.

 

Faith

[SproutMamaK]

And she replied?..... Inquiring (okay, nosey) minds want to know!

[LauraGB]

I was absolutely disgusted. My 13 year old boy looked at me and said, "Mom, those girls are creeps. How gross! Don't they have any self-respect?" The rude woman looked up, saw the float, and told her kids to run and get the candy. Not one bit of outrage expressed about the float but she just had to stop and hassle our friend. The other gal and I looked at each other, nodded, and I said very loudly, "So you don't have a problem with the porn show on the float but how dare a very hungry baby get fed when you can't see anything! Boy, your kids are going to be really screwed up!!!"

 

 

:001_huh: No you didn't!!

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray: FaithManor, you rock!

[kiana]

Gosh, well, it's nicer than what I would have said.

[mom4him]

A friend and I were with two of our children watching an Independence Day parade. It was a very nice parade, well, up until a point. Another dear friend was there with her 5 month old who was getting rather hungry and cranky. It was 89 degrees outside. Friend, who is always very, very sensitive to the feelings of others, pulled out a nursing cover (she has one that velcros around the neck and then hangs very losely around her body but gaps just enough at the top for her to see baby's face. Literally, if someone wanted a view, they'd have to stand behind her, leer over her head, and bend to get a good peek.

 

I felt bad for the baby because it was already so hot but none of the businesses were open for her to duck into and it was a long walk back to her vehicle which would have been piping hot! For my money, she should have ditched the nursing slingy thing. But, she's a pastor's wife and her husband, a total b/f supporter and who doesn't care who feeds their babies in church, has told her that because he's a pastor and he's encountered people who are really put off by it and he has to "get along" with some of these people, that she has to stay covered up when not in the privacy of their home or some dear friend's house who doesn't care.

 

At any rate, this 30's something woman walking by leaned over, total stranger mind you, and said, "I'm just so glad that you are wearing something like this. After all, you should really be inside so that no one even has to think about the fact that a baby is sucking on you, but at least no one can really see anything so we can kind of ignore it!" Just as she was making this completely outrageous, rude, ignorant, unebelievably IDGIT, statement, a float went by that appalled all of us. A local bar had a float blarring the kind of rock music that ALL of us would be enraged for our children to hear (totally porno lyrics) and two 20 something girls dressed in thongs (that's right, THONGS) and bikini tops that literally just barely covered their nipples and nothing else, were bending over and tossing candy to the kids!

 

I was absolutely disgusted. My 13 year old boy looked at me and said, "Mom, those girls are creeps. How gross! Don't they have any self-respect?" The rude woman looked up, saw the float, and told her kids to run and get the candy. Not one bit of outrage expressed about the float but she just had to stop and hassle our friend. The other gal and I looked at each other, nodded, and I said very loudly, "So you don't have a problem with the porn show on the float but how dare a very hungry baby get fed when you can't see anything! Boy, your kids are going to be really screwed up!!!"

 

Not my most Christian moment at all and I felt kind of rotten about returning the rudeness with like behavior. But, I just could not for the life of me imagine what had gone wrong inside that woman's brain that she was offended by breast feeding but completely okay with the rated X show on that float.

 

I sometimes feel like a complete misfit in my own country.

 

Faith

:iagree: I to feel totally out of place at times as my idea of modest is so adverse to others.

[FaithManor]

She didn't reply! She glared and walked away. My dear friend looked at me with great relief and a thank you for "getting rid of" the woman. Honestly, I felt so bad for my friend. She is the niecest, sweetest person you could ever meet in your whole life and is literally heartbroken when she offends people so this nut case was just a rotten person for her to encounter at the parade.

 

I just can't seem to wrap my head around people who walk aimlessly through crowds of virtually butt-naked people and go mental because a baby is eating. But, I think that the woman let the general mind-set slip when she said that being covered helped people not think about the fact that a baby was sucking on her. I really do think that an awful lot of Americans think there is something s**ual about b/f a child.

 

Oh, and the head of the LLL for the county, two counties south of us, was asked to not b/f at a public pool because it was IMMODEST - the baby was in a sling so - WHAT????! The lifeguard said this at the same time that several guys in speedos were lining up at the diving board, a spectacle that almost makes me go temporarily blind every time I witness it - I THINK SPEEDOS ARE JUST WRONG SICK (there, I've said it), and two very well endowed girls - we are talking not just booKs but whole libraries here - were sitting nearby in string bikinis. She absolutely got in his face and told him that when he banned the speedos and the bikinis she'd be happy to move into the women's changing room but not before! He declined.

 

Faith

[LauraGB]

It's a shame that our culture has become thoroughly confused between necessity and want to the point where it has been completely flipped upside down. Good for you for pointing it out in the perfect sequence. Too bad it was probably lost on them.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

:001_huh: No you didn't!!

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray: FaithManor, you rock!

 

I completely agree. I am generally a turn the other cheek kind of girl but that was over-the-top irony that just begged to be addressed!

[Laurie4b]

Oops. Double post. Sorry!

[Laurie4b]

Unbelievable! :blink: But it is a perfect illustration of everything turned upside down.

[Mrs Mungo]

Unbelievable! :blink: But it is a perfect illustration of everything turned upside down.

 

:iagree:

[Nicole M]

Ah, yes. I cannot believe where we are in this culture with breasts in general. Outrageous, that story.

 

Interesting article:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/7860205/Does-a-lover-really-have-first-claim-on-breasts.html

[Melissa in Australia]

 

- we are talking not just booKs but whole libraries here - were sitting nearby in string bikinis.

Faith

:lol::lol:

That is the best description ever!!

[GnomeyNewt]

Gosh, well, it's nicer than what I would have said.

 

:thumbup:

[amydavis]

Unbelievable! :blink: But it is a perfect illustration of everything turned upside down.

 

:iagree:

[Dawn in OH]

"So you don't have a problem with the porn show on the float but how dare a very hungry baby get fed when you can't see anything! Boy, your kids are going to be really screwed up!!!"

 

 

 

 

That's great! I love it.

 

I've seen more skin at WalMart in the summer than I ever show breastfeeding in public.

[kalanamak]

Ah, yes. I cannot believe where we are in this culture with breasts in general. Outrageous, that story.

 

Interesting article:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/7860205/Does-a-lover-really-have-first-claim-on-breasts.html

 

I saw the title and thought someone was suing their infant....

 

The thing about b/f vs. string bikinis....there is nothing s*xy about b/f. A common feeling is that if it is s*xy, it is justified.

 

I'm so happy I never got any flak for the few times I needed to NIP. I'll never forget the old man who teared up over it "remembering his wife feeding the baby at the dinner table" some 40 years before. We were sitting opposite on the plane, and he was Babe Ruth's nephew. Looked just like him. Think of Babe Ruth with tears on his cheeks!

[Catherine]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this. I think I'll do both. Argh.

[Hyzenthlay in Pa.]

Today is my oldest childs birthday, he's 32, I think people have gotten less tolerant about nursing mothers. I was able to nurse anywhere & without extra cover-ups, no one ever said anything rude or acted offended, quite the contrary.

I agree people have things flipped, s$x is OK, nursing not, unreal.

[Garga]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this. I think I'll do both. Argh.

 

Exactly!

[Parrothead]

Unbelievable. Some people haven't got a clue. I'm glad you defended your friend. You go, girl!

[pdalley]

 

 

 

At any rate, this 30's something woman walking by leaned over, total stranger mind you, and said, "I'm just so glad that you are wearing something like this. After all, you should really be inside so that no one even has to think about the fact that a baby is sucking on you, but at least no one can really see anything so we can kind of ignore it!"

 

Faith

 

I'd of said something completely snarky like 'A pity you aren't wearing a muzzle so that no one has to hear your ignorant, unsolicited comments. If only it were possible to ignore you....'

 

but I'm the woman who saw a mother being harassed in a restaurant NIP and promptly told the person doing the harassing I hated the way they ate - chewing with their mouth full, etc - and couldn't they please cover up since they wanted to baby covered up while he ate. :D

[HeidiKC]

but I'm the woman who saw a mother being harassed in a restaurant NIP and promptly told the person doing the harassing I hated the way they ate - chewing with their mouth full, etc - and couldn't they please cover up since they wanted to baby covered up while he ate. :D

 

Heh Heh!!!:lol:

[Denisemomof4]

 

"So you don't have a problem with the porn show on the float but how dare a very hungry baby get fed when you can't see anything! Boy, your kids are going to be really screwed up!!!"

 

 

Faith

 

You said that??!!! Really???!!!

:hurray::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::lol::lol::lol::hurray:

 

YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!!

[babysparkler]

I'll never forget the old man who teared up over it "remembering his wife feeding the baby at the dinner table" some 40 years before. We were sitting opposite on the plane, and he was Babe Ruth's nephew. Looked just like him. Think of Babe Ruth with tears on his cheeks!

:001_wub:

[Holly IN]

:001_huh: No you didn't!!

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray: FaithManor, you rock!

 

I would have said the same thing!!!! I am amazed that nobody is mad about porn shows on commercials or even in movies. BUT they have to say something about something so natural as breast feeding. That gets me so angry!!

 

 

 

Holly

[FaithManor]

Well, I am off to bed and though just maybe I should have been more kind in my response to the woman (after all, shouldn't I role model to my children kindness and compassion for towards the mentally ill), I feel pretty good about drawing her attention to the obvious double standard and stupidity of her comment.

 

Poor friend, I hope this won't stop her from taking part in some of the fun activities at the park tomorrow afternoon. She's been couped up with the baby quite a bit - prone to croup - so this is first in a while that she's really gotten to have some fun and then.....bam....an idiot!

 

You know, you just have days when you have to fight that urge to "REACH OUT AND SMACK SOMEONE"!

 

Oh well, tomorrow is another day and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to avoid the nut cases of the world.

 

Faith

[IsabelC]

I almost with somebody would make a comment like that to me, just so I could have at 'am! :glare: But it's never happened. Unless it's because I give off some kind of "I am breastfeeding and don't you dare #$% with me!" vibe :confused:

[asta]

When I was nursing, I stuck with the reply my sister used when confronted by the jerks who got in her face with the "why on earth are you doing THAT?"

 

BECAUSE I'M A MAMMAL!

 

Worked every time.

 

 

a

[jazzyfizzle]

It's a shame that our culture has become thoroughly confused between necessity and want to the point where it has been completely flipped upside down. Good for you for pointing it out in the perfect sequence. Too bad it was probably lost on them.

 

 

:iagree:

[fairfarmhand]

When I was nursing, I stuck with the reply my sister used when confronted by the jerks who got in her face with the "why on earth are you doing THAT?"

 

BECAUSE I'M A MAMMAL!

 

Worked every time.

 

 

a

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Violet Crown]

Oh, and the head of the LLL for the county, two counties south of us, was asked to not b/f at a public pool because it was IMMODEST - the baby was in a sling so - WHAT????!

 

There was an incident at a pool in the next county four years ago where a nursing mom was asked to stop breastfeeding or cover up. The pool staff first claimed they hadn't asked her to cover up (the mom stood by her claim that that the lifeguard did), and that it was a safety issue because she wouldn't be able to reach her 5yo child if she were busy nursing; then the City Parks Director came up with the greatest statement ever about why it was really all about safety:

 

"All it was was a safety issue. When you see something like that, it draws people's attention from the pool. You kind of take a double take, triple take, then you sink to the bottom of the pool."

 

The public apology and ritual self-flagellation of all officials involved followed soon after. I still hear moms quoting the "double-take" line from time to time. Still hilarious years later.

[SproutMamaK]

"You kind of take a double take, triple take, then you sink to the bottom of the pool."

 

:lol: That is begging to be put in someone's signature. First breastfeeding, then drowning.. what should we do tomorrow night, Brain? ;)

[Carol in Cal.]

You know, until more of us do this is public, people just aren't going to get used to it.

 

Before I had a child, I had only ever seen two or three people BF. It was unusual enough to be embarrassing to me to be in the same room.

 

I think that that is changing, but not fast enough. It has to be established as the 'new normal'.

[Nicole M]

When I was nursing, I stuck with the reply my sister used when confronted by the jerks who got in her face with the "why on earth are you doing THAT?"

 

BECAUSE I'M A MAMMAL!

 

Worked every time.

 

 

a

 

Awesome! When I was working at a church, I would nurse in the office right before the service. One day the choir director came in, laughed, and burst out singing, "T H A N K S... FOR THE MAMMORIES!"

[Nicole M]

You know, until more of us do this is public, people just aren't going to get used to it.

 

Before I had a child, I had only ever seen two or three people BF. It was unusual enough to be embarrassing to me to be in the same room.

 

I think that that is changing, but not fast enough. It has to be established as the 'new normal'.

 

Absolutely. But that article I linked above lays out pretty well why this is not likely to happen soon, unfortunately. I first nursed almost 20 years ago. My sense is that breastfeeding is less acceptable now than it was when I started. I never, never imagined we would be moving in this direction in these decades. Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

[3littlekeets]

I was in the mall bf my ds who was 4 mos. at the time. He was in a sling with a blanket over him, and a mall cop asked me to take it to the "bathroom."

 

DH asked him if he'd eat his lunch on the crapper? :D

 

He walked away and never looked back.

[kdeno]

:glare:

[nmoira]

 

BECAUSE I'M A MAMMAL!

:D

[Jenny in Atl]

Awesome! When I was working at a church, I would nurse in the office right before the service. One day the choir director came in, laughed, and burst out singing, "T H A N K S... FOR THE MAMMORIES!"

 

:cheers2:

[stripe]

Ah, yes. I cannot believe where we are in this culture with breasts in general. Outrageous, that story.

 

Interesting article:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/7860205/Does-a-lover-really-have-first-claim-on-breasts.html

I guess part of showing how "authentic" we are includes the comments made in that article about breastfeeding being creepy ("seeing your teeny, tiny innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." -- honestly, I am amazed that this thought only entered her head with regard to breastfeeding. How about the exit of the baby from the mother's body? Breastfeeding seems comparatively less intrusive to one's love life -- until that baby pops out, I daresay the birth canal is a spot previously reserved for lovers, is it not?

 

Anyhow it reminds me of this series Oprah did where part of being authentic was for women to moan about how awful being a mother was, or how awful breastfeeding was, and all these women (including Deborah Roberts, the reporter) talking about their nipples bleeding and so on, and only ONE woman said anything positive about breastfeeding.

 

But back to you, FaithManor, you are amazing and I salute you for your quick wit and courage.

[Lara in Colo]

When DD3 was 6 weeks old I traveled to Texas to be with my hospitalized uncle. We were in the hospital for hours at a time with lots of people in and out of his room. I was nursing outside of his room (for the space mostly) and a NURSE asked me to please go elsewhere. I had a blanket and I was in a HOSPITAL. I told her no. She said it might bother the other people. I said if the sight of the patients with their butts hanging out doesn't bother them, my child eating shouldn't either!

 

Lara

[tex-mex]

And she replied?..... Inquiring (okay, nosey) minds want to know!

 

:lurk5: Quite a comeback... I can never think on my feet like that. Kudos!

[Mrs Mungo]

I almost with somebody would make a comment like that to me, just so I could have at 'am! :glare: But it's never happened. Unless it's because I give off some kind of "I am breastfeeding and don't you dare #$% with me!" vibe :confused:

 

Same here. :tongue_smilie:

 

Although, my sister once had a man tell her that he was offended by her nursing in WHOLE FOODS (baby in a sling)! But, she just said "Well, I'm offended by your big, fat, ugly face," and he walked away.:lol:

[TXMary2]

It's a shame that our culture has become thoroughly confused between necessity and want to the point where it has been completely flipped upside down. Good for you for pointing it out in the perfect sequence. Too bad it was probably lost on them.

 

Doesn't the Bible say something about people calling evil good and good evil??

[Forget-Me-Not]

I guess part of showing how "authentic" we are includes the comments made in that article about breastfeeding being creepy ("seeing your teeny, tiny innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy." -- honestly, I am amazed that this thought only entered her head with regard to breastfeeding. How about the exit of the baby from the mother's body? Breastfeeding seems comparatively less intrusive to one's love life -- until that baby pops out, I daresay the birth canal is a spot previously reserved for lovers, is it not?

 

Perhaps she was part of the "Too Posh to Push" set.

 

FaithManor, you rock.

[Nakia]

Same here. :tongue_smilie:

 

Although, my sister once had a man tell her that he was offended by her nursing in WHOLE FOODS (baby in a sling)! But, she just said "Well, I'm offended by your big, fat, ugly face," and he walked away.:lol:

 

That made me :lol: It makes me happy that I am blessed with a quick wit. I have some really good comebacks for situations such as this. No one ever said a word to me about breastfeeding so I never got to use them.

[Lovedtodeath]

When I was nursing, I stuck with the reply my sister used when confronted by the jerks who got in her face with the "why on earth are you doing THAT?"

 

BECAUSE I'M A MAMMAL!

 

Worked every time.

 

 

a

Yep. :)

 

Doesn't the Bible say something about people calling evil good and good evil??

Yes! I never thought of it in relation to this.

 

Ah, yes. I cannot believe where we are in this culture with breasts in general. Outrageous, that story.

 

Interesting article:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/7860205/Does-a-lover-really-have-first-claim-on-breasts.html

Good article. Thanks for the link.

 

Perhaps she was part of the "Too Posh to Push" set.

 

FaithManor, you rock.

I was thinking the same thing.

[Dawn in OH]

:lol: That is begging to be put in someone's signature. First breastfeeding, then drowning.. what should we do tomorrow night, Brain? ;)

 

 

That's great! :lol:

[Cricket]

Well, I am off to bed and though just maybe I should have been more kind in my response to the woman (after all, shouldn't I role model to my children kindness and compassion for towards the mentally ill), I feel pretty good about drawing her attention to the obvious double standard and stupidity of her comment.

 

It's not unkind to point out errors when you see them. :) I think what you said was great! That woman was completely screwed up and maybe it will make her think twice.