Kids say or do anything funny lately?

[Blessedfamily]

Not much here, but dd6 has been hounding me for a family pet. I just do not have the time or desire. I have asked her to stop asking for one and she finally complied yesterday. So this afternoon she asks, "So how about a class pet, Mama?"

 

A class pet in a homeschool sounds like a family pet to me. :glare:

[NanceXToo]

Very cute!

 

My son (aged 4 1/2) asked me if he came out of my pe*nis when he was born (after I patiently explained to him that no I didn't eat him, and no he didn't come out of my mouth and gestured vaguely saying he went down, not up, when he came out). That was kind of funny!

 

Of course, I reminded him that I don't HAVE a pe*nis and then he wanted to know if he came out of my butt. Yeah, it was a fun conversation.

[smrtmama]

My middle son, Tank, told me that while he thought the strawberry jam that Patchfire made for us was very good, the red in the jam made his forehead hurt (his way of saying a headache) and he "couldn't ever eat no more food again."

[Surlygirlie]

My daughter came back from a friend's house the other day and shared a little convo they had about crushes:

 

DD's friend: I bet you'll get a crush this summer (:blink:<--me)

DD: Oh? Do you have a crush?

Friend: Yes, his name is Jake.

DD: Let me guess, he's cute and funny, right?

Friend: Yes! Do you know him?

 

At this point in my dd's recounting of the tale, she told me, "Mom, I didn't have the heart to tell her that I've seen enough movies to know that girls ALWAYS fall for the cute, funny, dumb guys."

 

:lol:

[Gooblink]

I used to fill my blog with funny things the kids would say.

 

Lately...

 

Today we were driving to the nursing home where we volunteer once a month. The home is called "New Hope Manor," but my son inadvertently referred to it as "No Hope Manor."

 

About a week ago ds1 was giving ds2 a hard time about not learning a musical instrument. Art is ds2's thing so he held up his pencil and said, "This pencil is my instrument, these lines are the notes and this art is my song." Not funny, but I thought that was pretty dang neat. :)

[mom2koh]

These are too cute!

 

I took dd6 to the local theatre to sign her up for drama camp.

 

She's never formally done drama (but she does quite a bit at home. ;) ;)). So, the theatre director took my dd on a tour of the building and then ended with the stage area. The director opened the doors with a big flourish and told dd this is the stage she would be doing her final performance on.

 

DD6 calmly steps onto the stage and walks around a bit. Then proceeds to turn and tell the director "Your stage is so small". That she's used to a much bigger stage for her dance recitals.

 

I was :leaving:

[Tiff in TX]

About a month ago, DD3 and I had this conversation

 

DD is running and jumping on the couch.

Each time she jumps she says "Mommy, I falled"

And I reply with "Yes Pea, you fell"... trying to stress the correct word.

We say this back and forth a few times till she finally jumps and says -

"Fine mommy, I felled!"

 

It was too cute and I just left it at that.

[Nicole M]

These are great!

 

My 13yo just named his new chickens Athena and Aphrodite. "Athena's a little bit aloof. Aphrodite... well, she's just a little love! Eats right out of my hand!"

[funschooler5]

These are so funny!

 

Today my 4 yr old wanted me to draw a picture with her. We were using crayons, and I colored my picture lightly, while she colored hers heavily (so the colors would be bright). She was doing quite a large area and her hand was getting tired, so she asked me if I would help her. She started to hand me her crayon, but then she looked at my picture and said, "Never mind, you don't color hard enough." :lol:

[stormy weather]

Not too long ago Dee-Dee announced in front of a roomful of family that she knew how ladies get babies. She then named off several ladies we know who have had babies and said "They got babies from hanging out with men. How do they do that? Do they(men) just have that effect on you?" :001_huh: :lol: At bedtime I had to clue her in a little bit more.

[MaMa2005]

Night before last, we installed Net Nanny on DS's computer. Well, we checked a few too many off limit items and it pretty much shut his computer down yesterday.

 

This morning, DS is telling DH that Net Nanny is behaving inappropriately (as if Net Nanny is a REAL person inside his computer!) :lol:

 

DS was just soooo serious that I had to walk out of room to keep from laughing out loud.

[ilovemy6kids]

My 3 year old burped at lunch and announced that she "tooted out of her mouth" I laughed and my other dd said that the other day she had told her that she burped out of her butt.

Sheri

[Blessedfamily]

These are all really cute!

[newlifemom]

My 3 younger dc woke me up this morning for my anniversary with breakfast in bed and a card. The menu:

 

toasted waffles [plain]

seltzer [they don't know how to make coffee]

 

The card:

 

Well I took a pic from my iphone and am trying to figure out how to load it on here, but . . .

 

The inside reads, among other things, "Happy Annavisary mom and Dad! the card was my idea. Katherine" :D

 

FTR - she's 6. :lol:

[newlifemom]

My 3 year old burped at lunch and announced that she "tooted out of her mouth" I laughed and my other dd said that the other day she had told her that she burped out of her butt.

Sheri

 

Mine have said the same thing.

[Tap]

DD3 is a walking terror. I don't mean that lightly, she really, truly is and dd11 is often her target of choice.

 

The other day she had been being ornery to dd11. DD11 and I were talking about it and I said in a sing-song-lovey voice (sarcastically) "but dd3 is the kindest, sweetest, most innocent little girl in the world-How could you ever say such a thing about her!?!" Right about then dd3 yells from the other room in a very indigent voice. "I AM NOT!!!" She was quite offended at having her character slandered! LOL

[MamaSheep]

Today we went through the drive-through at Wendy's to pick up lunch (I know, don't judge me :tongue_smilie:). Dd 8 always wants a kids' meal with chicken nuggets. She usually doesn't want dipping sauce but has been experimenting with it a little bit lately so I wasn't sure if she wanted any or not. I asked her, "Hey, do you want any kind of dipping sauce for your nuggets today?" She replied, "Nope, I like my nuggets NAKED!"

[newlifemom]

DD3 is a walking terror. I don't mean that lightly, she really, truly is and dd11 is often her target of choice.

 

The other day she had been being ornery to dd11. DD11 and I were talking about it and I said in a sing-song-lovey voice (sarcastically) "but dd3 is the kindest, sweetest, most innocent little girl in the world-How could you ever say such a thing about her!?!" Right about then dd3 yells from the other room in a very indigent voice. "I AM NOT!!!" She was quite offended at having her character slandered! LOL

 

Now that is very funny! :D

[Meriwether]

My Ds5 is a very mellow little guy with somewhat of an Eeyore personality. He does like anything to do with battles and weapons, so he was excited to read Runs from Guns which is #10 in the Veritas Press Phonics Museum readers. Those of you who have read it with children may appreciate this. Ds is a fairly decent reader, but this book is long. And he has to discuss the picture on each page. And we had to have an entire discussion about the Civil War while we read. And, of course, the baby interrupted several times. After the first half hour his enthusiasm waned a bit. By the time we had read for an hour, I was giving him pep talks every page. When he turned to the last page (after 1 and 1/2 hours), my very laid back child shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD, the last page." The only appropriate response to that? AMEN!

[Dawn in OH]

There has been a lot of discussion in our house lately about when to change the baby's diaper and the frequency of diaper changes.

 

So the other day Kelly woke up from his nap and I began to change his diaper. My 9 year old said to me, "I'm no expert on this, but don't you think you should wait until after you feed him?"

[nd293]

Last night, lying in bed, ds3 said to my husband "Daddy, do you have a home?" I took this as a definite sign that dh has been travelling too much lately!

[Joker]

My younger dd is a very glass half full kind of girl and she is always helping us to see the better side of things. The other day I was complaining (a little) about the spider bite that has left a scar on my face - dd says, "At least it wasn't a bear bite". This comes out of nowhere and there had been no talk of bears. She looked so serious as she said it too, like you shouldn't be upset because it could always be worse. She made me laugh and laugh.

[Sherry in OH]

Today as we were leaving the zoo, I asked my 4 year old if he had had fun. He said, "No, Mommy. I did not have enough fun. We need to come back again."

[....]

Oh, yeah, I got one...

 

5 yro gets into a fight with 2 yro. Words are exchanged.

 

5 yro says, "Never, in my ENTIRE life of my life would I lay a poopyhead baby like you!"

 

:001_huh:

 

Are babies laid like eggs? :confused: What is a life of a life? Is this an insult on me or the baby?

[Blessedfamily]

:lol:

[Snickerdoodle]

My recently turned 6yo informed me that he's decided that when he grows up he's *not* going to marry me after all.

[lollie010]

This one might be hard to follow, but it's worth it.

 

DS 6 and DD 4 love to tell jokes. This one occurred in the back seat on the way to t-ball practice.

 

DD 4---"How did the chicken cross the road."

 

DS 6--"You mean "why"

 

DD 4--cluelessly "Yes, how did the why cross the road?"

 

The point was totally missed on her. Maybe it is one of those you had to hear to appreciate.

[kidsnbooks8]

A few days ago my 5yo came up to me and informed me that we should just move, because this house is dirty.:lol:

 

Guess I have some work to do...

[Carrie12345]

My 3yo has a favorite video game, and I'm having a hard time teaching him about time limits. He just asked if he could play with his brother, and I said no.

His response:

"You get in your car and go shopping. <Dd1> get in your car. <Dd2> get in your car. <Ds1> stay here with me, and we be hayving. Okay?"

 

I wonder if he'll ever realize I'm not a complete idiot.

[Tess in the Burbs]

we were traveling last week and in one bathroom my dd really wanted to go in the handicap stall. I told her the small one was fine, but she insisted. She then tells me, "I am a big girl Mommy. Big girls need a big potty!".

 

I was rolling with laughter :lol::tongue_smilie:

[Blessedfamily]

A few days ago my 5yo came up to me and informed me that we should just move, because this house is dirty.:lol:

 

Guess I have some work to do...

 

:lol: On the other hand, the child across the street asked me if we're moving. I said, "No. Why do you as?." He said, "Your garage is so.... empty."

 

He really means it's the first time in his life he's seen it clean. I informed his mother of how insulted I was. :D

[kaylk in tx]

my ds8 saw a friend with one of the new nintendo ds XLs. instant envy. happens to notice that his friend has the game brainiacs. trying to talk me into buying the new game system says "but it has a math game.... you want us to learn math don't you?"

[Hockey Mom]

We attended the viewing for my Dh's grandmother last week. It was close family members attending, but we were by far the youngest of the group. I left it up to the boys whether they wanted to see Grandma in the casket, and they were both curious, so I took them up to see her. Everyone was crying, so I quickly took the boys out of the room, into a small waiting area (where Grandpa was). DS6 walks up to my FIL and says, "I don't understand why everyone's crying Grandpa...they're all old...they're going to see Grandma soon." Grandpa laughs, looks at me and says, "Out of the mouth of babes."

 

During this same viewing, Grandpa points out the bowl of candies on a nearby table and tells the boys to fill their pockets. Of course, this is something they are never allowed to do. So DS6 loads up his pockets, walks back into the viewing room to the front row (where everyone is sitting) and says, "Hey Guys...there's candy out there." It was his way of trying to cheer everyone up - and believe it or not, it actually worked.

[Blessedfamily]

We attended the viewing for my Dh's grandmother last week. It was close family members attending, but we were by far the youngest of the group. I left it up to the boys whether they wanted to see Grandma in the casket, and they were both curious, so I took them up to see her. Everyone was crying, so I quickly took the boys out of the room, into a small waiting area (where Grandpa was). DS6 walks up to my FIL and says, "I don't understand why everyone's crying Grandpa...they're all old...they're going to see Grandma soon." Grandpa laughs, looks at me and says, "Out of the mouth of babes."

 

During this same viewing, Grandpa points out the bowl of candies on a nearby table and tells the boys to fill their pockets. Of course, this is something they are never allowed to do. So DS6 loads up his pockets, walks back into the viewing room to the front row (where everyone is sitting) and says, "Hey Guys...there's candy out there." It was his way of trying to cheer everyone up - and believe it or not, it actually worked.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[....]

This thread is hilarious! Thanks for starting it! :lurk5:

[jplain]

My 4yo just wailed from the other room, "Moooooom, I need you. The scratch on my toe is hurting, and I can't reach my head to kiss it!"

:lol: I guess placebo kisses must work pretty good!

[SquirrellyMama]

I sent my fully clothed dd 5 to clean her room today. She came back 15 minutes later only wearing underwear. She said, "Mom, I forgot what I was supposed to be doing in my room."

 

I also often forget what I'm supposed to be doing but so far I have been able to keep my clothing on.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Of course, I reminded him that I don't HAVE a pe*nis and then he wanted to know if he came out of my butt. Yeah, it was a fun conversation.

 

Haha! My partner and youngest son were exchanging the usual gooshy stuff after an auction a few days ago. Partner said, "I love you so much. Thank you for staying so quiet in your seat." Youngest responded, "I love you so much. Thank you for putting me inside Mama with your penis."

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Haha! My partner and youngest son were exchanging the usual gooshy stuff after an auction a few days ago. Partner said, "I love you so much. Thank you for staying so quiet in your seat." Youngest responded, "I love you so much. Thank you for putting me inside Mama with your penis."

 

:lol: That's what you get for explaining the birds and the bees to kids!

 

This thread is making my day.

 

This morning, my 7 yr. old woke me up to ask me if he could go on Facebook. I asked why, and he said, "You know how that box says, 'What's on your mind?' Well, I had the best dream and it's on my mind."

[TXMomof4]

Last week we're driving down the road and ds is in the back seat talking. I hear him say something is "refreshing" and asked him what is so refreshing. His answer - "BOOGERS!!!!!" I look back and he is digging for all he's worth. Then we called grandma to share how she could be refreshing herself. Of course she laughs and ds hands me back the phone with a disappointed look on his face. I ask what's wrong and he woefully says, "I don't think Granny is going to eat her boogers." He was very distraught that she would try his method of refreshment.

[MagistraMichelle]

Last Sunday we were talking about planting a garden.

 

Dd8 says "Let's plant corn!"

 

Daddy "I think it's too late for that".

 

Dd "You plant corn when the Ash Tree leaves are no bigger than a squirrels' ear".

 

:rofl:

 

I think maybe she has read a little too much Little House on the Prairie.

[CalicoKat]

After making 3 trips back into the house for forgotton items for our day at coop I finally was ready to back down the driveway.

 

"Whew! We'll still be on time!" I said.

 

"Yeah, but you're outta gas," my 7 yo son replied.

Edited May 26, 2010 by CalicoKat

[Saille]

Dd6 woke me up last night to tell me she had a nightmare in which the dog told *her* to sit.

[Chris in VA]

We were watching TV last night when an ad for the new 3D TVs came on. I said I didn't want one because I didn't want to have to wear glasses to watch TV.

Dd pointed out, "You already wear glasses to watch TV, Mom."

Right she is.

[Blessedfamily]

Dd6 woke me up last night to tell me she had a nightmare in which the dog told *her* to sit.

 

:lol: