Do you go to church when a child is sick?

[Whisperlily]

We've missed so many weeks in a row. We're still new to town, so nobody notices the family who has attended 3 times since January 1.

 

Today we made it. Nobody was contagious, throwing up or had diarrhea. During the service, DS (age 5) started coughing and lay his head on my lap. I let him stay there the whole time.

 

We get home, and discover he's got a fever. Today is the last day of his antibiotics for Scarlet fever.

 

I'm glad we went. We need to attend as a family. Would you take a feverish child to church (but not in the nursery or children's church?)

[CookieMonster]

But, I don't keep mine home for minor sniffles. I would be gone from church three weeks out of four if I did that.

[Plucky]

No. My dh will take the well kids and I'll stay home with the sick ones. We've all been sick so much lately that we've hardly attended since the new year. Yeah, it stinks but its a year for illness.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

No. I don't take them anywhere when sick. I would not want to infect others.

 

So sorry for the rotten string of luck you have had with illness. We've had our share of those in the past, but with fewer kids. I hope you come out of it really soon. It can be so wearing on your soul when you cannot get out to do the things that help to recharge and renew you.

[KristineIN]

It depends what it is, a cough and cold, runny nose we still attend, fever & vomiting, no. Our church also has a daycare, so we are being exposed to stuff all the time. The daycare is the church, so it's not like it's a separate area. Basically it's a big pole building with high ceilings, sides have classrooms, middle area is carpeted and chairs are set up during church, but put up during the wee, the kids have dividers set up for play during the week. It really is a great set up, but I do wonder if we would stay healthier if it weren't a daycare.

 

 

Kristine

[Jean in Newcastle]

I do not take my children to church when I KNOW they are sick. But sometimes they don't start acting sick until we get there (or are already on the road). Our church has a side room (with a speaker) where adults and children can go if they start to feel poorly once they are there. Our church has a tape ministry with tapes of the service. I ask my dh to bring those home if I'm stuck at home with a sick child or two.

[Jennifer in MI]

No. Not a fever. I would take a child with a cold, however. (Heck, if I didn't, we'd nearly never go! LOL)

 

I'm so sorry you've been so sick. How is you little guy this evening?

[Dayle in Guatemala]

No. I don't want to "share the joy" with my church family!

[Old Dominion Heather]

No way... I am so stinkin' tired of getting sick on Tuesday after church on Sunday. I think that the use of "self-isolation" when sick is vastly underused. My kids and I all have asthma, so a cold for someone else often turns into pneumonia here. A stomach virus for my ds's friend who is six and diabetic usually equals a hospital stay.

 

So no, I would never take a sick kid to church, in fact in the winter, during flu season, dh and I will alternate Sundays so that we don't take the youngest in to get exposed in the nursery.

[Josie]

I don't think others would appreciate it. I know I don't appreciate it when others bring sick children. Oh, and this applies whether they are just in the sanctuary or with other children.

[Josie]

While I don't knowingly take sick children to church. I do have to say that one of my children threw up in the middle of a church service one time. Yes, right in the sanctuary. Luckliy I was able to direct all of it on my person. (Well, lucky for the church...not for me!) I really had no idea they were sick.

[Laura in VA]

I wouldn't take a child that I know has a fever to church, but you didn't know until you came home. I'm glad you were able to all go. It's hard being new, or semi-new, and missing church. This may sound silly to some, but I often literally pray that we will all be well enough to attend church on Sunday.

[lollie010]

DS (age 5) started coughing and lay his head on my lap. I let him stay there the whole time.

 

 

I think this is a totally different situation than putting a child in with other kids if you "knew" that he had a fever. He got to be with you where most kids want to be when sick and you did not needlessly expose others. Sounds like a good solution.

 

We missed church this morning, because ours were just too sick. We stayed home and I felt horrible all day for missing Easter Sunday.

 

Laurel T.

[Janet in WA]

We didn't. But we became sesitive to this because when our children were little, we attended church with a family whose daughter had cystic fibrosis. We all had to be very vigilant either to keep our sick children home, or to warn this family if we were bringing a child with so much as a sniffle to church (so they could keep their own daughter home).

 

From that experience, I became super-sensitive to the fact that there might be someone in any congregation whose health might be seriously compromised if exposed to even the common cold. You just never know.

[Elaine]

A cold? Yes. I don't feel badly about it when there are adults in the sanctuary hacking their lungs up or blowing their noses. A fever? No.:001_smile:

[Danestress]

I know at least two people going through chemo at church and there are other people who need to be careful as well. I know that most illnesses are spread before we even know we have them, but I still think it's mean to take a child out when she has a cold, knowing she will almost inevitably touch door knobs, pews, etc and that she could pass that illness to someone who presumable doesn't want it.

[Whereneverever]

We do, but I make sure that I keep them away from other kids/ the elderly.

[Ellie]

a sick person needs to be in bed so he can rest. He also needs to be home so he doesn't share his sickness with the general public, not even the adults in the pews instead of the children in the nursery.

[Nestof3]

I don't. Since we all meet in a family's living room (about 6 or 7 families) the chance of something catching is great. I think almost everytime my child got sick it was because one of the families brought a sick child to the meeting.

 

Don't get me wrong, a cold is not the worse thing that can happen to a child, and I don't get devastated about it, but most families have 8 or 9 children, so if they didn't come everytime one of their children was sick, they'd probably never come to the meeting. Our family NEVER got sick during the summer until housechurching.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Absolutely not! I would probably have to say this is got to be my biggest pet peeve. If you or your child is sick in any way that is contagious, why would you share that with everyone else? How fair is that? Of course I'm definitely not just talking about church but grocery store, mall, restaurants, etc. Fever or not, if there is any chance someone is contagious, it's just not fair to the rest of the population if you are out sharing that. I want to just pop I get so mad when I'm out somewhere (ie. bank) and the employee is *clearly* sick and miserable and telling me all about it like I should pat him/her on the back and say "Good job on you for coming in". How annoying :)

[Liz CA]

I'm glad we went. We need to attend as a family. Would you take a feverish child to church (but not in the nursery or children's church?)

 

I remember well having a very young child who constantly seemed to have something all winter long and the need to get out and worship with others and just be fed spiritually.

I am sure, nobody will be worse for the wear by your ds sitting there for a few minutes. If he was not playing in the church nursery in close contact with other little ones, he could have hardly done any harm.

And how often do they play with others and THEN come down with something later in the day and we have no way of preventing anything. Life happens!

Glad you had a peacful day with church service!

[Jackie in AR]

No, the sick child stays home with me. Actually, I missed Easter services yesterday since one of my boys was running a temp.

[Harriet Vane]

I do not take sick kids to church or any other public place. It's hard on the sick kid and exposes a lot of other people to his/her illness.

 

It does get hard. Our family had three bad winters in a row. The first had a lot of colds and illness, but it didn't impact our life too much. The second and third winters were absolutely horrendous with illness after illness. We were out of commission for MONTHS. At the end of the third winter my ds had to have surgery.

 

This year has been totally different. That surgery changed my ds' entire life, thank God.

 

It was terribly hard to stay home when you are craving time out and a return to normalcy but I go back to my original statement--going out in public is hard on the sick kid and exposes a lot of other people to his/her illness.

[JFSinIL]

who do NOT need to be exposed to anything contagious.

[Tammyla]

No. Dh and I will go to different services. This allows us to attend and the sick one to rest.

[OnTheBrink]

No, the child needs to rest and not stress her immune system further by being around the general populace.

[Whisperlily]

*sigh*

 

I haven't taken my kids anywhere when they're sick, on purpose. Unfortunately due to our situation right now, I've had to take them out, sick, more than once. Not to church... this time was an accident, as I didn't know he was sick until after we were there, and even then, I didn't know he had a fever until we got home.

 

I have found those little purse sized Lysol sprays to be immensely handy. When going to Wal-Mart to fill a prescription, I always spray the handle/seat of the cart before, and after we use it. It might be a pet peeve of some, but what can I do? If it's just me, and my child needs medicine... what choice do I have?

 

I am cautious. With asthma problems here, I know all too well how a simple cold can turn deadly.

 

I'm just so alone here. It was rather nice to be able to attend church yesterday, even though DS spent the service with his head on my lap. I've really missed going, and I'm sad that we've been here almost 3 months and (sick the entire time) I haven't met anyone yet.

[Laura in VA]

Praying that your family will be well and all of you will be able to attend church together!

[dangermom]

It sounds like you handled yesterday just fine; I'm sorry everyone's been sick.

 

When we have a sick kid, one of us--whoever doesn't have responsibilities--stays home with her.

[Tami]

I would not want to risk getting others sick. Germs spread in the air, and unless your child is not breathing, he is contagious. : ) If somebody needs to stay home with the kiddos, I would take turns going with dh. If there are two services, you may be able to swing one parent going to each.

 

If I stay home when dd is sick, dh will attend. When he gets home, we will have a little "home service" by doing some songs and dh teaching us what Pastor taught earlier that day.

 

I hope you all get healthier soon!

[Diane]

I was surprised so many feel it's fine to send a child with a cold to church to get other children sick. This was exactly how my oldest got RSV and almost died a few years ago. Just remember you are putting other children at risk...there can be children who are asthmatic when they have colds, having the child and parents suffer through breathing treatments, missing work, etc...have some consideration, please. Not to mention, if your child has a cold and therefore has a lowered immune system, they are more likely to get something else.

[anewday]

I don't think others would appreciate it. I know I don't appreciate it when others bring sick children. Oh, and this applies whether they are just in the sanctuary or with other children.

 

Ditto.

 

And we don't think of a cough as a green light either. After pertussis swept through our previous church several years ago, I am very careful about it now! And with our allergy kiddos, though I usually know now when it's a cold or allergy, I'll keep them home if I'm not sure...

 

I love when our previous pastor announced, "Christian love doesn't include sharing our germs with others!" :D

[KristineIN]

We go to the store about once a week, go to a Bible Study at our church, which is a daycare and pick up germs there, we go to the library which is on a college campus. We attend a co-op with 80 families. If we stayed home when someone had the sniffles, we would be homebound all winter long. I guess we're just around a different crowd of people, most of our friends have large families and as long as now one is running a fever or throwing up (although they have been known to show up with that also, but for the most party they don't) everyone attends things. Most Public school kids go to school unless they are very sick and so I'm sure things bounce back and forth but that's just part of life. Sometimes I use the wipes that the store provides to kill germs, sometimes I don't.

 

Kristine

[OnTheBrink]

Sorry, posted in the wrong place! I thought I'd started a new thread!

[DarcyM]

While I'm glad that some families are healthy enough to feel so cavalier about colds and runny noses - it is exactly why my 4 yo has never been to church.

 

It's sad. It's hard. It's isolating.

 

But people feel it's okay to bring their germs to church. Those germs, while it just may be an inconvenience to their families, means much much more to mine.

 

My son spent over 3 years on oxygen. And while a "little cold" may be just a few days of sniffles for a healthy child, it means danger to mine. RSV can be deadly to those with compromised immune systems, babies and the elderly... and you know what? It appears exactly like the common cold.

 

And I don't feel family size is an excuse for bringing sick kids to church. Whether a family has 10 kids or 1, bringing a sick kid to large group gathering is careless.

 

My family misses the community, camaraderie and fellowship of a church family exactly because people believe it's okay to share their sniffles. Our neonatologist warned us that of all the places kids get sick: daycare and church are the top reasons he sees babies in the PICU.

 

I do wish those of you who bring sniffly, contagious kids to church would reconsider. If everyone followed that courtesy, families like mine would be able to safely bring our at-risk kids to learn the joy of a church community.

 

With sincerity,

[elegantlion]

No, we don't. Now I have unknowingly taken him while he was incubating something. It was usually something he caught at church in the first place. UGH. I've had my spleen removed and my immune system is more supressed than others, so I tend to catch things going around. So whatever ds would catch, I'd end up with as well.

 

Seriously, that is one of the reasons I quit my office job years ago. People would come to work practically dying and I'd end up with everything going around.

[Tami]

and agree that "Christian love does not involve sharing your germs!" LOL!

 

I wouldn't want others getting my child sick, and so in deference to others who may have underlying health problems, we stay home. I wonder if we need to define what "sick" is -- maybe it means different things to different moms.

 

I didn't realize others felt differently -- I am surprised, I must admit.

 

: )

Tami

[Tami]

*sigh*

 

 

I'm just so alone here. It was rather nice to be able to attend church yesterday, even though DS spent the service with his head on my lap. I've really missed going, and I'm sad that we've been here almost 3 months and (sick the entire time) I haven't met anyone yet.

 

 

Perhaps you can see if there are any midweek activities this week? I have met so many nice ladies through volunteering.

 

I hope you are all feeling better soon. May God bless you through, in, and by your difficulties.

[Jennifer in MI]

Wow. I'm really sorry that so many of you have to be so careful with your kids and colds. I am one of those who will take my kids if they have colds (not awful coughs or anything, but the sniffles, yes).

 

But, I've seen it from both sides. My ds 7 had a really rough few years where anytime he came down with a cold, it would turn into pneumonia easily. I always saw it as my responsibility to keep him home and away from sickness. I mean, people are most contagious the day before they come down with the sickness anyway. So, even if I did take my kids to church when it seemed everyone was healthy, there could be someone there about to come down with something the next day.

 

There were times when we didn't go to church, or even out of the house because of this. I just couldn't challenge his immune system in that way.

 

I'm really not meaning to be snarky here. When I was staying home with him though, I never thought it anyone else's responsibility to keep their kids away from mine. Hence my thoughts on taking a child with a cold out of the house.

[Tami]

with the church elders of your church fellowship? If members are aware of the situation, I am SURE they would be happy to accomodate you. Christian love is the highest calling of the Church, and so doing something that is hurting a member of the body like taking sick kids to church, may not be showing sensitivity. I encourage you to call the church, or children's director, and see if something can be worked out.

 

I'm not sure when it became OK to send kids to church and school sick. Our church has a policy against dropping sick kids off in Sunday School or nursery. When I was a kid, we stayed home, so that is what I thought was "normal." It is my responsibility to stop the chain of infection by not exposing others when we are sick. I consider this common courtesy. Now, I cannot tell whether I am in the majority or minority!

[Pajama Mama]

In our old church, people would stay in the crying room while sick. I remember one Sunday, I had my littles in the crying room. There was a woman who was hacking up her lungs in the crying room. She did not have a child. She was in the crying room so she wouldn't disturb others in church. Huh? She didn't want to cough on adults but it was perfectly fine to cough all over babies and little kids in an enclosed space. This happened again the next week. I should have spoken up there but didn't want to offend her.(if it happened now I wouldn't have a problem speaking up-lol) I called the rectory office and told them what was happening. That Sunday there was a note telling adults without children that they may not sit in the children's room if ill. That's common sense.

 

If it's just a little cold I don't think it's a problem bringing kids to church. But if they are sneezing and coughing their heads off, please keep them home.

[Whisperlily]

LOL, I don't think I know what the sniffles are...

 

When my kids get sick, they always get sick BIG. Perhaps it's the cold turns to asthma bit? :tongue_smilie:

 

That poor little guy who had his head on my lap yesterday morning now has a 103, coughing HARD, and isn't fit to get out of bed. He's the same one who just finished his antibiotics for scarlet fever on Saturday. DD started with coughing and a fever late last night.

 

Can you say Mom has cabin fever???:willy_nilly:

 

Since DH is gone (A LOT) it means if someone's sick, we ALL stay home. Not much trading off with DH available. Spring, where ARE you?

[unsinkable]

We're Roman Catholic. We have more options than just one service and it is really wonderful when family member(s) are sick. We can basically find a Mass within a 10 min. drive from 4 PM Sat. to 8 PM Sun.

 

Dh & I switch off if one of the kids is sick.

[Janet in WA]

 

If members are aware of the situation, I am SURE they would be happy to accomodate you.

You know what? I was SURE of that too, until I had the experience I mentioned above of attending a church with a child who had cystic fibrosis. People mean well, but if they don't have a child with a problem like this, they just don't get it. They still bring their children with sniffles, fevers, whatever. The family with the CF child were constantly finding that someone had brought a sniffly (or outright sick) child to church. Sometimes they'd find out in time and remove their CF child from the church. But other times, they'd find out too late an spend months with their child in the hospital and on tons of medications trying to get that child over the ravages of just a common cold.

[Meliss]

I wrote a blog post on this topic previously which you can read if you like: Illness Etiquette?

[Meliss]

(((Hugs))) Darcy. I'm so sorry.

[Carol in Cal.]

just a cold and they are almost better (so not contagious.) My Ped has always said that kids are most contagious one day before and the first 3 days of cold symptoms, so after that it's not a problem.

 

I do all the Sunday School openings, and I write and direct the children's Christmas service each year, which is always the Sunday before Christmas. Some years selfish parents have dosed up their very sick kids to get them through the last or second to last rehearsal because they want them to be in the show so badly. That really fries me, because invariably other children catch it (hello, you knew that just giving them enough Sudafed to choke a horse does not mean they are not contagious!) and I end up with a cranky, feverish cast, sometimes short a child or two. Grrrrrrrrr. It's not as if I don't bend over backwards to accommodate children who cannot be at all the rehearsals. I do. I so do. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[anewday]

I really don't understand the idea that "if it's just a little cold" then it's OK. Some of the worst illnesses can start out with mild cold symptoms.

 

Someone mentioned earlier about RSV - it is nasty for infants and babies! In toddlers and olders it's a mild cold. When we visited my best friend after her second daughter was born, her older one had a little cold. Turns out it was RSV and when the 2 week old got it, she flatlined and almost died. My daughter, 2 years old at the time, got a mild cold a few days after her exposure also - you'd never guess it was life threatening for a baby...