happymainemom Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I began thinking about the different things that my husband and I do in our home (or out of it) vs. my sister and her family and am really curious how other families share the roles. I sometimes feel that I over-extend myself, but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture to see my chunk. AND understand that I really only have a chunk, not the whole thing! I'm not going to list all I do, but just in general, who handles: (you, spouse, or share) making money paying bills budgeting mortgage/loans home repair/maintenance banking/investments taxes car care health insurance scheduling (making/keeping track of) phone calls or correspondence re: all the above teaching/school work or homework discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") kids mornings kids bedtimes transportation for kids grocery shopping laundry eating at home eating away (pack lunch, etc) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) lawn care/snow cleanup garden or bed maintenance I can't think of anything else right now! Copy and paste this into a new thread and the answering should be easy -- except if you notice that you do almost ALL of these things! I claim no responsibility for what happens after that. Just make sure you're not PMSing! Happymainemom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - DH paying bills - ME budgeting - ME mortgage/loans - ME home repair/maintenance - I hire someone after dh tries!! LOL banking/investments - ME taxes - DH car care - DH health insurance - ME scheduling (making/keeping track of) - ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - BOTH teaching/school work or homework - ME discipline (planning and implementing) - Mostly me, but both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - BOTH kids mornings - BOTH kids bedtimes - BOTH transportation for kids - ME grocery shopping - ME laundry - BOTH eating at home - BOTH eating away (pack lunch, etc) - ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - Mostly ME lawn care/snow cleanup - DH garden or bed maintenance - DH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisychics Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - dh paying bills - me budgeting - dh/me mortgage/loans - me home repair/maintenance -dh banking/investments - me taxes - someone else car care - dh/me health insurance -dh scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -me/some dh teaching/school work or homework -me discipline (planning -me and implementing - me/dh spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - dh/me kids mornings - me kids bedtimes -me/dh helps transportation for kids - me grocery shopping -me laundry - me, me, and me (teaching ds now) eating at home - me(weekdays)/dh (weekends):D eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me/dh (for himself to work) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - me, currently teaching dc lawn care/snow cleanup - dh (hiring someone) garden or bed maintenance - huh? we're suppose to do that too? :tongue_smilie: I killed a cactus once, my sister left it with me to take care of.....:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 DH making money DH paying bills --- budgeting (DH handles the money but doesn't make budgets) DH mortgage/loans Me home repair/maintenance DH banking/investments Both taxes (I make spreadsheets with the info and DH takes it to his CPA) DH car care Me health insurance Me scheduling (making/keeping track of) Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above Me teaching/school work or homework Me discipline (planning and implementing) Me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") Me kids mornings Me kids bedtimes Both transportation for kids (DH drives them to school, I pick them up & take them everywhere else) Me grocery shopping Me laundry Me eating at home Me eating away (pack lunch, etc) Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Me lawn care/snow cleanup Me garden or bed maintenance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - DH paying bills - me budgeting - both but I update it mortgage/loans - none we are completely debt free - yeah! home repair/maintenance - DH or handyman banking/investments - DH taxes - DH car care - DH health insurance - not sure what this means, we have health ins through my DH work and I take the kids to the doctor if needed scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - both teaching/school work or homework - me discipline (planning and implementing) - both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - both kids mornings - my kids are older so they do what needs to be done kids bedtimes - DH transportation for kids - me during week, DH helps on weekend grocery shopping - me laundry - me eating at home - me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - me, I oversee a chore chart lawn care/snow cleanup - DH garden or bed maintenance - family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money dh paying bills dh budgeting dh mortgage/loans dh home repair/maintenance share banking/investments dh taxes dh car care dh health insurance it's through dh's work, but we both deal with them scheduling (making/keeping track of) me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above share teaching/school work or homework me discipline (planning and implementing) share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") share kids mornings me kids bedtimes me transportation for kids me grocery shopping me laundry me eating at home me eating away (pack lunch, etc) me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) me lawn care/snow cleanup dh garden or bed maintenance dh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money- spouse paying bills- currently spouse, but I have had this duty in the past budgeting- share mortgage/loans-these are in both our names, paid through direct deduct home repair/maintenance- share but mostly dh or hired help banking/investments- spouse taxes- our wonderful tax man car care- mostly spouse health insurance - spouse, retired military insurance scheduling (making/keeping track of)- Family and home:me, work: spouse phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- share teaching/school work or homework- all me discipline (planning and implementing)- mostly me, dh is getting better at it. ;) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")- shared but tipped toward me kids mornings- all me kids bedtimes- mostly me, unless I am not home or a little one has developed a sudden overwhelming desire to have Daddy do everything for him. Dh does help with little boys baths. transportation for kids- mostly me, but dh helps if he can. grocery shopping- mostly me, I like it that way. Dh picks up milk and last minute items. laundry- me and kids eating at home- all me eating away (pack lunch, etc)- me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)- mostly me and kids lawn care/snow cleanup- mostly dh and older boys garden or bed maintenance- shared *Taking out the trash- dh and older boys *Taking the garbage to the dump-dh *Cheering, giving encouragement and pats on the back- mostly dh *Introducing a little levity into life- mostly dh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorna in the boonies Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- dh paying bills -- me budgeting -- me mortgage/loans -- me home repair/maintenance -- dh banking/investments -- me taxes -- me car care -- dh health insurance -- neither scheduling (making/keeping track of) -- me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- share teaching/school work or homework -- me discipline (planning and implementing) -- share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") -- share kids mornings -- me kids bedtimes -- share transportation for kids -- share grocery shopping -- mostly me laundry -- me eating at home -- me eating away (pack lunch, etc) -- me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) -- me lawn care/snow cleanup -- dh garden or bed maintenance -- don't have one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Me- banking/investments (dh works during bank hours, and the investments are through my mother's firm, so I talk to her more) taxes (I used to do taxes, so I do them, although dh keeps me on schedule) health insurance (I take dc to the doctor, so I am pretty much in charge of this, too) scheduling (making/keeping track of) teaching/school work or homework (dh has oversight, I do day-to-day) garden or bed maintenance transportation for kids grocery shopping laundry (actually, dd does, but I supervise) eating at home eating away (pack lunch, etc) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Dh- car care making money paying bills budgeting mortgage/loans home repair/maintenance lawn care/snow cleanup Both- discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") phone calls or correspondence (depends on what it is, I hate to call people, so dh handles quite a bit) No One (they do them on their own)- kids mornings kids bedtimes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PariSarah Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money Both. Or neither. Or, both, but we both suck at it? :biggrinjester: paying bills- Both. I've set a bunch of things to autopay; anything that comes in the mail is "whoever gets to it." budgeting I set it up and oversee; we both review it yearly. mortgage/loans Me. home repair/maintenance Whoever gets to it, but he usually gets to it before I do. banking/investments Me. taxes Me, up until my sister got her CPA. YAY!!!! car care Mostly him. health insurance Whoever gets to it. scheduling (making/keeping track of) Neither? But I guess mostly him. phone calls or correspondence re: all the above Whoever gets to it. teaching/school work or homework Whoever's turn it is. discipline (planning and implementing) Whoever's turn it is. spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") Both. kids mornings Whoever's turn it is. kids bedtimes Whoever's turn it is. transportation for kids Whoever's turn it is. grocery shopping All me, all the time. laundry Whoever gets to it. eating at home All me all the time. eating away (pack lunch, etc) Whoever's eating it. daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Whoever gets to it, except for cooking (mine) and dishes (his) lawn care/snow cleanup Mostly him. garden or bed maintenance Mostly me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 DH making money me paying bills me budgeting no one mortgage/loans both home repair/maintenance me banking/investments me taxes DH car care me health insurance me scheduling (making/keeping track of) me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above me teaching/school work or homework me discipline (planning and implementing) me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") me kids mornings me kids bedtimes me transportation for kids me grocery shopping me laundry me eating at home me eating away (pack lunch, etc) me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) DH lawn care/snow cleanup DH garden or bed maintenance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 You know... we actually have this pretty well worked out, I think! I feel happy! :001_smile: Me budgeting scheduling (making/keeping track of) teaching/school work or homework phone calls or correspondence re: all the above transportation for kids grocery shopping eating at home eating away (pack lunch, etc) garden or bed maintenance Him making money paying bills mortgage/loans banking/investments taxes health insurance kids bedtimes Both of us home repair/maintenance car care discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") kids mornings laundry daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) lawn care/snow cleanup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money DH paying bills Me budgeting Me.. kinda :tongue_smilie: mortgage/loans Both home repair/maintenance Both banking/investments Both taxes Both car care Both health insurance Both scheduling (making/keeping track of) Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above Mostly me but sometime DH teaching/school work or homework Me with a little help from DH discipline (planning and implementing) Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") Our own form... Both kids mornings M-F Me Both weekends kids bedtimes same as above transportation for kids Both grocery shopping Mostly Me but DH does go often laundry Me eating at home Both eating away (pack lunch, etc) Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Me lawn care/snow cleanup Both garden or bed maintenance Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding_sanctuary Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- DH paying bills -- me budgeting -- me mortgage/loans -- me home repair/maintenance -- someone else (if dh's away) banking/investments -- me taxes -- someone else car care -- someone else (if dh's away) health insurance -- through dh's work, but me if calls/attention needed scheduling (making/keeping track of) -- me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- me teaching/school work or homework -- me discipline (planning and implementing) -- me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") n/a kids mornings -- me kids bedtimes -- me transportation for kids --me, sometimes family grocery shopping -- me laundry -- me eating at home -- me, sometimes dh eating away (pack lunch, etc) --me daily chores/cleaning -- me lawn care/snow cleanup -- DSS :D garden or bed maintenance -- me Dh works away from home. When he's laid off for more than a few days this changes to something a bit more balanced, but I still handle almost all of the parenting and ALL of the $$ even when he's here. (He's the spender, I'm the saver...it's safer that way!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money- Both paying bills-Me budgeting- Me mortgage/loans- Dh home repair/maintenance-Dh banking/investments- Both (different parts) taxes- Me car care- Dh mostly, sometimes me health insurance- Me scheduling (making/keeping track of)- Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- Both teaching/school work or homework- Me discipline (planning and implementing)-Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")-Both kids mornings-Both kids bedtimes-Both transportation for kids-Both grocery shopping-Both laundry-Both eating at home- Mostly me, but he's a better cook and does it fairly often. eating away (pack lunch, etc)-We each do our own. daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)-Both, I do most of the weekly cleaning but he does a lot of daily jobs like unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash. We're both "do it if we see it" kind of people. lawn care/snow cleanup-Dh garden or bed maintenance-Both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - Share paying bills - Me budgeting - Me mortgage/loans - N/A home repair/maintenance - The landlords ;) banking/investments - Me taxes - Me car care - Me health insurance - The Commonwealth of Massachusetts scheduling (making/keeping track of) - Share phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - Me teaching/school work or homework - Me, possibly more shared next year discipline (planning and implementing) - Share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - Me kids mornings - Me kids bedtimes - Share transportation for kids - Share; me during the day, DW in the evenings grocery shopping - Share, mostly DW laundry - Me eating at home - Mostly DW eating away (pack lunch, etc) - N/A daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - Me lawn care/snow cleanup - Mostly landlords, I clear snow off our car garden or bed maintenance - N/A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money Dh paying bills Dh budgeting Dh mortgage/loans Dh home repair/maintenance Dh banking/investments Dh taxes Dh car care Dh health insurance Dh scheduling (making/keeping track of) Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above Dh teaching/school work or homework Me discipline (planning and implementing) Me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") Me kids mornings Me kids bedtimes Me transportation for kids Me grocery shopping Dh laundry Both eating at home Mostly me, Dh on special occasions or to give me a break eating away (pack lunch, etc) Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Me and the kids lawn care/snow cleanup Dh garden or bed maintenance Dh Dh took off work today to do some chores that I have really been needing help with, like building a milk stand for me, and doing some planting. I'm so happy about it, that I want to offer him a day next month where we all work on helping him get done some things that are important to him. Maybe the next month I'll get another work day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 ME -- DH -- BOTH making money paying bills budgeting mortgage/loans banking/investments health insurance home repair/maintenance taxes - neither, we send them off to Dad who is a tax guru :D car care scheduling phone calls or correspondence re: all the above teaching/school work or homework discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (sigh) kids mornings kids bedtimes transportation for kids grocery shopping laundry eating at home eating away daily chores/cleaning lawn care/snow cleanup garden or bed maintenance Ok, I don't understand what these means mortgage/loans - um, nothing can be done here without both of our signatures. So? banking/investments - same here. How could it just be one or the other? health insurance - do you mean who provides it? Dh with his work. I am the one who knows how to use it though. The man can't even find the card in his wallet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- him paying bills -- me budgeting -- ??? mortgage/loans -- (you mean opening them? both) home repair/maintenance -- him banking/investments -- both (me banking, him investment tracking, me investment deposits) taxes car care -- him health insurance -- me scheduling (making/keeping track of) -- me (except his business, he does all that) phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- (me -- personal & bus., him: customers) teaching/school work or homework -- me discipline (planning and implementing) -- both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") -- both kids mornings -- me (DH leaves early while we sleep in) kids bedtimes -- both transportation for kids -- well, we don't have that issue much. near 18 year old drives himself, little ones go wherever I go. During the day, since I'm home with them, obviously it would be me.) grocery shopping -- both laundry -- me eating at home -- me eating away (pack lunch, etc) -- N/A daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) -- me mostly lawn care/snow cleanup -- him garden or bed maintenance -- him (flower garden I enjoy, compost too) I would like to point you in the direction of the following thread on the same subject: You will find more elaboration from my perspective about this whole thing. Let me just say that I do not find it very profitable if this becomes some sort of statistical graph because graphs cannot factor in the different lifestyles of those on the board. http://67.202.21.157/forums/showthread.php?t=14289 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. H. Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money- mostly Dh, althought I do some freelance writing when time permits paying bills- Me budgeting- I usually make up a sample budget, and we go over it together. All extra money is a joint venture in spending. mortgage/loans- Both, depending on what's needed. home repair/maintenance- I do the simple stuff, dh bails me out when I get in over my head, and does the stuff I can't do. banking/investments- Both taxes- Me car care- Dh health insurance- Both, depending on what's needed scheduling (making/keeping track of)- Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- Both teaching/school work or homework- Me discipline (planning and implementing)- Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")- Me kids mornings- Me, dh is already at work kids bedtimes- Both, dh often does baths and stuff, and I tuck them in. transportation for kids- Both grocery shopping- Me! Dh would spend a fortune laundry- Me eating at home- We all eat at home. :D Oh, you mean the cooking! I (and the dc) do all the cooking, but dh suggests take out and gets it when necessary. eating away (pack lunch, etc)- Me, dh sort of considers the kitchen "my" room, so he tends to shy away from it. His mother always shoo'ed the kids out of the kitchen. daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)- Me, but dh will gladly pitch in if I'm sick, tired, have company coming, etc. He also helps get the kids motivated and lined out. lawn care/snow cleanup- All Dh, baby! garden or bed maintenance- Both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- Hubby paying bills -- Me budgeting -- Mostly Hubby, when it gets done at all mortgage/loans -- Initiating, Hubby. Managing and making the payments, Me. home repair/maintenance -- We rent, so anything major is taken care of by the rental agency or landlord. I'd say we pretty much split the small stuff. banking/investments -- Mostly Hubby taxes -- Both of us car care -- Mostly me health insurance -- Can't remember the last time this required thought or effort scheduling (making/keeping track of) -- Me, me, all me. phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- Business stuff, Hubby. Personal stuff, me. teaching/school work or homework -- Me discipline (planning and implementing) -- Mostly me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") -- Me kids mornings -- Me kids bedtimes -- Shared transportation for kids -- Me grocery shopping -- Me laundry -- Me eating at home -- Me eating away (pack lunch, etc) -- Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) -- Me lawn care/snow cleanup -- Outsourced garden or bed maintenance -- N/A So, it looks like, of the categories you listed that apply to us, my husband is primarily or entirely responsible for 3 of them, we share 5, and I handle the remaining 13. Hmm. That explains a lot . . . --Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money DH paying bills ME budgeting ME mortgage/loans ME home repair/maintenance SHARE banking/investments DH taxes ME car care SHARE health insurance ME scheduling (making/keeping track of) ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above DH (I hate calling people) teaching/school work or homework ME discipline (planning and implementing) NEITHER? okay, SHARE spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") DH kids mornings KIDS kids bedtimes ME transportation for kids ME grocery shopping ME laundry ME but everyone is responsible for sorting and putting away their own eating at home ME eating away (pack lunch, etc) ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) ME lawn care/snow cleanup SHARE but DH does more of it garden or bed maintenance SHARE but DH does more of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.griff Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money- DH paying bills- Share budgeting- Share mortgage/loans- N/A (we live in military housing) home repair/maintenance- N/A (free maintenance in military housing) banking/investments- Share taxes- DH car care- DH health insurance - N/A scheduling (making/keeping track of) phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- depends on who's name the account is in, so Share teaching/school work or homework- Me discipline (planning and implementing)- Me/Share (I trump DH cause *I* have to live with the *rules* 24/7 and he doesn't) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")- Me kids mornings- Me kids bedtimes- Share (I do it ALL when DH is deployed, so when he's home and home in time at night I leave the bedtime stuff completely to him) transportation for kids- Me grocery shopping-Me mostly, every now and then I'll have DH pick something up on his way home- I've done that this week because he is using my truck. laundry- Me (I do mine and the kids, DH is responsible for his uniforms though) eating at home- Me/Share (Mostly me, on weekends DH cooks burgers) eating away (pack lunch, etc)- Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)- Me (I am trying to get DH to take the trash out every night w/out me needing to remind him, ain't working so well) lawn care/snow cleanup- N/A garden or bed maintenance- N/A but that would be Me/Share Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money (mostly dh, although I have a part-time job temporarily) paying bills (dh) budgeting (we do this as a team) mortgage/loans (discussed together) home repair/maintenance (dh) banking/investments (both of us) taxes (me, using Turbotax) car care (mostly dh) health insurance (dh) scheduling (making/keeping track of) (me) phone calls or correspondence re: all the above (mostly me) teaching/school work or homework (me) discipline (planning and implementing) (me more than dh, just because I'm with ds more, but we do discuss it) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") (again, me more than dh, just because I'm with ds more) kids mornings (me) kids bedtimes (we kinda take turns) transportation for kids (mostly me) grocery shopping (me) laundry (me) eating at home (me) eating away (pack lunch, etc) (me) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) (mostly me, but dh will pitch in) lawn care/snow cleanup (dh) garden or bed maintenance (dh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- dh paying bills -- both budgeting -- both mortgage/loans -- dh home repair/maintenance -- both, but dh more often banking/investments -- dh taxes -- dh car care -- dh health insurance -- dh scheduling (making/keeping track of) -- me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- both teaching/school work or homework -- me discipline (planning and implementing) -- both, but me more often spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") -- both kids mornings -- me during week, both on weekends kids bedtimes -- both, often dh transportation for kids -- me grocery shopping -- dh laundry -- me eating at home -- dh eating away (pack lunch, etc) -- me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) -- both, but mainly me lawn care/snow cleanup -- both, but dh most often garden or bed maintenance -- dh I'll add a few more categories: travel (as in, planning & taking the kids on trips to visit relatives) -- me travel (planning for big family vacations) -- dh pet care -- mainly me, though dh will help once in awhile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - Dh paying bills - me budgeting - I suppose me - he agrees to it but doesn't stick to it. mortgage/loans - me home repair/maintenance - share banking/investments - me taxes - me car care - Dh health insurance - me scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - me teaching/school work or homework - me (with some math tutoring from Dh) discipline (planning and implementing) - share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - share kids mornings - me kids bedtimes - share transportation for kids - don't do outside activities - we go places as a family grocery shopping - me laundry - me eating at home - me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - 90% me (he does it when he's fed up) lawn care/snow cleanup - share garden or bed maintenance - share Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 So, it looks like, of the categories you listed that apply to us, my husband is primarily or entirely responsible for 3 of them, we share 5, and I handle the remaining 13. Hmm. That explains a lot . . . I was suspecting this would lead to people adding up their duties. I just think it's not as simple as that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Dh making money home repair/maintenance taxes - I will not touch the taxes! Me paying bills budgeting scheduling (making/keeping track of) teaching/school work or homework kids mornings kids bedtimes grocery shopping laundry eating at home eating away (pack lunch, etc) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Share banking/investments - We don't really have any investments. Occasionally he makes a run to the bank to withdraw or deposit. I choose which bank we use. car care - I take my car in for maintenance, he takes his truck in. phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - If it has to do with the kids, I usually take care of it. I don't like talking on the phone though, so sometimes I beg him to do it for me:) discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") transportation for kids - We share this responsibility, but I do more of it. lawn care/snow cleanup - He does more, especially with the landscaping. I don't know how to drive the Bobcat and move all that dirt and rock around. I'm a good laborer and don't mind being told what to do. mortgage/loans - I'm not sure what you mean here. I make the payments along with the other bills. Dh arranged checks into and makes most of the arrangements for our mortgage and various other loans we have/have had. I also put him in charge of the final decision on insurance, though I've checked into different companies occasionally or said I don't want a specific company or agent. Trying to get the straight scoop and an even comparison from these people and reading all the fine print makes me dizzy. Plus, if I make the decision on something like this, he's sure to ask me details later and I won't remember a thing. health insurance - We don't have health insurance. garden or bed maintenance - No garden, flower bed, vegetable beds yet. If we had them, it would be primarily my responsibility once they're put in. My list looks longer, but he works much harder. I figure the household stuff is mainly my responsibility since he's out busting his butt in construction work. On days he is home because of the weather, he often offers help, but he has other things going. I know he tries to spend as much of those days off doing his biblical studies and so I don't take him up on the offer often, especially not if all I'm doing is playing on the computer;) If I had an outside job, it would be a little different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -- both paying bills -- dh budgeting -- both mortgage/loans -- dh home repair/maintenance -- dh banking/investments -- dh car care -- dh health insurance -- dh scheduling (making/keeping track of) - ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above -- ME teaching/school work or homework -- ME discipline (planning and implementing) -- both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") -- both kids mornings -- ME kids bedtimes -- both transportation for kids -- ME grocery shopping -- dh laundry -- both eating at home -- both eating away (pack lunch, etc) -- ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) -- both lawn care/snow cleanup -- both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.griff Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 ITA. DH shoulders THE Responsibility for providing all of our physical needs. He gives his time to the Navy, in order to serve our country AND to provide us with money, food, shelter, etc. He has a LOT of responsibility at work, and then he comes home and puts up with me whining about whatever I whine about, and he does his best to give us all the emotional support that we need- he tries so hard to cover everything and he just doesn't have enough time to do it all (family time, individual time with each family member, do his job well, take care of auto maintenance/repairs, etc.). We are both "overworked", LOL- but we both think it's worth every minute of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - DH paying bills - ME budgeting- ME mortgage/loans- ME home repair/maintenance - SHARE, although he does the big complicated things, I do help quite a bit banking/investments- ME taxes- ME car care- DH health insurance - ME scheduling (making/keeping track of)- ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- ME teaching/school work or homework- ME discipline (planning and implementing)- SHARE, I plan, he helps implement spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") kids mornings- ME kids bedtimes- SHARE transportation for kids- SHARE grocery shopping- ME laundry- ME eating at home - SHARE eating away (pack lunch when we're all out)- ME eating away (he packs his own lunch for work)- DH dishes- DH vacuuming- ME clean bathrooms- ME mop floors- SHARE lawn care/snow cleanup- DH garden or bed maintenance- SHARE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money- DH paying bills- Me budgeting- Me mortgage/loans- Me home repair/maintenance- DH banking/investments- Me taxes- Me car care- DH health insurance- Me scheduling (making/keeping track of)- Both, with an emphasis on me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above- Me teaching/school work or homework- Me discipline (planning and implementing)- Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")- Both, with an emphasis on DH kids mornings- Me kids bedtimes- 3/4 me, 1/4 dh transportation for kids- Me grocery shopping- Me laundry- Me eating at home- Me eating away (pack lunch, etc)- Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)- Me lawn care/snow cleanup- Dh garden or bed maintenance- DH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ananda Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 **Childless 22 year olds thought it might be interesting making money--dh paying bills--me budgeting--We're supposed to budget:confused: mortgage/loans--we live in an apartment, I pay rent home repair/maintenance--typically me banking/investments--dh checks balance daily, I physically go to the bank and handle investments taxes--both, taxes are fun car care--me or my father health insurance--dh's work scheduling (making/keeping track of)--both phone calls or correspondence re: all the above--me except to scary landlord teaching/school work or homework--I am a university student, both when we have dc discipline (planning and implementing)--me after dc spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")--N/A transportation--me, husband won't drive (phobia) grocery shopping--small trips me, large trips both laundry--me eating at home--both (we love to cook) eating away (pack lunch, etc)--both daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)--mostly me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fourmother Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 My dh is Director of Homeland Security, Environmental Health and Safety, Pest and Vector Control, Site and Auto Maintenance, and Waste Management. He is also our official Fearless Spiritual Leader. I am Director of Health and Nutrition, Finance and Accounting, Procurement, and Public Relations. I am also Secretary of Education. We share a joint appointment to Janitorial, Laundry and Landscape Services. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - Him paying bills - Him budgeting - we don't mortgage/loans - we don't home repair/maintenance - both, depends on the item banking/investments - Him taxes - Him car care - we each take care of our own car health insurance - Me scheduling (making/keeping track of) - Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - ? teaching/school work or homework - Me discipline (planning and implementing) - Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - Both kids mornings - me kids bedtimes - we alternate transportation for kids - both grocery shopping - me laundry - me eating at home - me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - me lawn care/snow cleanup - him garden or bed maintenance - me Now I'm very interested to see what others do! Good thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money-both, but dh makes more paying billsused to be me, now dh budgetingdh mortgage/loansdh home repair/maintenancedh banking/investmentsdh taxesdh car caredh health insurance dh scheduling (making/keeping track of)me phone calls or correspondence re: all the aboveboth teaching/school work or homeworkboth, but mostly me discipline (planning and implementing)both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")both kids morningsme during the week, both on weekends kids bedtimesdh transportation for kidsboth, usually me grocery shoppingboth laundryme eating at homeboth, usually me eating away (pack lunch, etc)both daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)both, but mostly me lawn care/snow cleanupboth, but mostly dh garden or bed maintenanceboth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - DH, except he's not making any right now paying bills - me budgeting - me, in as much as it gets done mortgage/loans - DH, he is a loan consultant home repair/maintenance - I generally schedule this sort of thing banking/investments - DH taxes - we pay to have this done, DH mainly deals with it car care - mainly DH health insurance - I deal with this, DH's work pays for it scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - mainly me teaching/school work or homework - me discipline (planning and implementing) - mainly me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") doesn't apply here, we are different religions kids mornings - me kids bedtimes - both transportation for kids - me grocery shopping - me laundry - me eating at home - me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) me lawn care/snow cleanup -me garden or bed maintenance - me Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrusheights5 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money dh paying billsboth budgetingboth mortgage/loansboth home repair/maintenanceme banking/investmentsme taxesme car careme health insurancedh scheduling (making/keeping track of)dh phone calls or correspondence re: all the abovedh i hate phone calls teaching/school work or homeworkme discipline (planning and implementing)me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")n/a kids morningsdh kids bedtimesme transportation for kidsdh grocery shoppingboth laundrydh all the way eating at homeme eating away (pack lunch, etc)both daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)me lawn care/snow cleanupdh garden or bed maintenancefamily Never really think about this. DH is home on disabillity so he does a lot... Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda in NM Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Uh oh. making money--share paying bills ME budgeting ME mortgage/loans ME home repair/maintenance start by sharing, but son & I wind up doing most of the work... banking/investments ME taxes ME car care share health insurance DH scheduling (making/keeping track of) ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above ME teaching/school work or homework ME discipline (planning and implementing) share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") share kids mornings ME kids bedtimes ME transportation for kids ME (unless I'm deathly ill) grocery shopping ME laundry share eating at home ME eating away (pack lunch, etc) ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) ME lawn care/snow cleanup DH garden or bed maintenance share Looks like he gets off too easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money-DH paying bills-me budgeting-me mortgage/loans- N/A home repair/maintenance-DH banking/investments-me taxes-me car care-DH health insurance-me scheduling (making/keeping track of)-me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above-both teaching/school work or homework-me discipline (planning and implementing)-both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")-both kids mornings-me kids bedtimes-me transportation for kids-me, dh takes oldest daughter to/from college for breaks and some weekends grocery shopping-me laundry-me eating at home-me eating away (pack lunch, etc)- N/A daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)-me lawn care/snow cleanup-DH garden or bed maintenance-DH I have to say that I'm very happy with our division of labor. I am very glad that I don't have to go out and make money! I really think I have the easier job. Susan in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money - spouse paying bills - spouse budgeting - share mortgage/loans - spouse (goes with bills; we don't have a mortgage) home repair/maintenance - share banking/investments - spouse taxes - spouse (used to be me) car care - spouse, mostly, but me sometimes health insurance -spouse scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - me teaching/school work or homework - me discipline (planning and implementing) - me unless there's such a problem that I call him in spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - me (including for spouse) kids mornings - me mostly, but dh gets up older ds, who wouldn't get up for me kids bedtimes - me, mostly transportation for kids - me almost exclusively grocery shopping -me except for things spouse wants for himself on occasion laundry - me eating at home - me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - me, mostly lawn care/snow cleanup - spouse garden or bed maintenance - me Regena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 making money -dh paying bills -dh budgeting - both mortgage/loans - we don't have any anymore:hurray: home repair/maintenance -dh banking/investments -dh taxes -dh (lol, Im beginning to think I don't do anything around here...) car care -dh health insurance -dh (through his job) scheduling (making/keeping track of) - me, mostly phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - phone is dh whenever possible, correspondence mine teaching/school work or homework - me discipline (planning and implementing) -mostly me spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - mostly me kids mornings - both kids bedtimes - both transportation for kids -me grocery shopping -usually dh laundry - me eating at home - mostly me eating away (pack lunch, etc) -dh does his own daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) - mostly me lawn care/snow cleanup - mostly dh although I love to mow garden or bed maintenance - we kill plants equally here :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca in GA Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 making money - DH paying bills - Me budgeting - Me mortgage/loans - DH home repair/maintenance - Both banking/investments - Both taxes - DH car care - DH health insurance - DH scheduling (making/keeping track of) - Me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above - Both teaching/school work or homework - Both discipline (planning and implementing) - Both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") - Both kids mornings - Me kids bedtimes - Both transportation for kids - Me grocery shopping - Me laundry - Me eating at home - Me eating away (pack lunch, etc) - Me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) Both lawn care/snow cleanup - DH garden or bed maintenance - Both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 making money both of us paying bills me budgeting both of us mortgage/loans me home repair/maintenance both of us, but, truthfully, dh ends up doing more banking/investments me taxes me, generally car care dh health insurance me -- the family is under my health insurance through work scheduling (making/keeping track of) me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above usually me. my dh once actually said (to an especially troublesome subcontractor), "Don't make me put my wife on the phone." [sigh] teaching/school work or homework both of us discipline (planning and implementing) we've thought out our discipline strategy together. the implementor is whoever is dealing with the issue. spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") both kids mornings days when I'm on duty -- both of us; days when I'm off duty -- me kids bedtimes both of us transportation for kids again, whoever is available when the need arises grocery shopping dh laundry both of us eating at home both of us...or do you mean who cooks? that would be dh. I do all the baking. eating away (pack lunch, etc) me, but it's for me when I'm on duty (eating out every third day is way too expensive!!) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) whoever is free when the chore or cleaning needs to be completed lawn care/snow cleanup dh garden or bed maintenance fruit & veg garden -- both of us; flower beds -- me Hmmm...seems like I'm the Minister of Finances and Health. dh is the Minister of Grease. We share all other portfolios and there is no Prime Minister. Or rather, we share that job. Works well for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 making money ME paying bills ME budgeting WHAT'S THAT? mortgage/loans ME home repair/maintenance HIRED HELP banking/investments ME taxes ACCOUNTANT car care MECHANIC health insurance ME scheduling (making/keeping track of) ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above ME teaching/school work or homework ME discipline (planning and implementing) ME spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") ME kids mornings KIDS kids bedtimes ME transportation for kids ME grocery shopping ME laundry KIDS eating at home ME eating away (pack lunch, etc) ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) ME lawn care/snow cleanup LANDSCAPERS garden or bed maintenance KIDS I'm a widow, so I just hire out whatever I don't want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 (you, spouse, or share) making money husband paying bills Husband budgeting both mortgage/loans husband home repair/maintenance husband banking/investments husband taxes husband car care repairs~husband I am trying to keep it tidy and vacuumed health insurance husband scheduling (making/keeping track of) me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above phone calls me teaching/school work or homework me discipline (planning and implementing) both spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") both kids mornings me kids bedtimes shared transportation for kids not applicable grocery shopping shared laundry me eating at home me eating away (pack lunch, etc) me daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) me lawn care/snow cleanup hubby garden or bed maintenance neither ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 paying bills--ME budgeting--ME mortgage/loans--ME home repair/maintenance--BOTH banking/investments--ME taxes--ME car care--DH health insurance--ME scheduling (making/keeping track of)--ME phone calls or correspondence re: all the above--ME teaching/school work or homework--ME discipline (planning and implementing)--BOTH spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")--ME kids mornings--BOETH kids bedtimes--BOTH transportation for kids--BOTH grocery shopping--ME laundry--DH eating at home--BOTH (mostly ME) eating away (pack lunch, etc)--ME daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)--BOTH lawn care/snow cleanup--DH garden or bed maintenance--DH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 making money(I just this month joined in this endeavor) paying bills--me budgeting--me mortgage/loans--me home repair/maintenance--we don't do much here banking/investments--me taxes--me car care--share scheduling (making/keeping track of)--me phone calls or correspondence re: all the above--me teaching/school work or homework--me (but dh is starting to help) discipline (planning and implementing)--shared spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")--shared kids mornings--me kids bedtimes--shared grocery shopping--me laundry--shared eating at home--shared daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)--mostly me DH really does a lot to help out around the house, but please keep him away from the laundry. Laurel T. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 DH making money taxes - b/c I don't make any Lol. phone calls or correspondence re: all the above (for the church, DH) scheduling (making/keeping track of) DH, his own laundry- DH, his own ME paying bills budgeting mortgage/loans home repair/maintenance (mostly ME) banking/investments car care health insurance scheduling (making/keeping track of), ME for the family phone calls or correspondence re: all the above (for the family- ME) teaching/school work or homework discipline (planning and implementing) spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head") kids mornings kids bedtimes transportation for kids grocery shopping laundry - the kids and I eating at home eating away (pack lunch, etc) daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!) lawn care/snow cleanup garden or bed maintenance Yep, sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 making money-dh paying bills-me budgeting-what? mortgage/loans-share home repair/maintenance-dh banking/investments-share taxes-dh car care-share, but mostly dh health insurance-share scheduling (making/keeping track of) phone calls or correspondence re: all the above-share teaching/school work or homework-me discipline (planning and implementing)-share spiritual guidance (who actually carries it out, not just the "head")-share kids mornings-dh kids bedtimes-share, but mostly me transportation for kids-me grocery shopping-me, though he runs errands to pick up things I miss laundry-me eating at home-me eating away (pack lunch, etc)-share daily chores/cleaning (really need sub-categories!)-share lawn care/snow cleanup-pay neighbor's son garden or bed maintenance-n/a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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