kbpaulie Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 (Note: I asked my husband if I may post this and he agreed.) I've been contemplating this posting for quite some time and am finally having the courage. I was raised w/ a sister and no brothers. I have 4 and 7 year old sons. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have one bathroom and a small house. I am struggling with what is appropraite modesty for my boys and husband. (Guarantee that there is nothing strage or weird going on!) Here are scenarios on which I would like feedback... * My 7 year old will be in the bathtub or shower and need help w/ the hot water or something else and call me in. Is he too old for me to go in? (Husband isn't always avail to do this) * My husband will be using the bathroom and allow my sons to come in to do whatever... * hubby will come out of the shower and into our room to get dressed w/o any coverage, walking through the hall... * or will walk around (just for a few minutes) in just his underwear... my thinking is that these aren't appropriate. But he reminds me that boys/ men have no privacy (at the gym, in a public restroom, anyplace). So this is fine and normal and that I'n just not understanding. Thoughts? While we are a Christian family, I am finding myself concerned about this mainly from a society and well-being standpoint. Thanks for letting me ask- KB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I didn't stop helping ds12 with bathing until he was about 10 years old. By the time he was perfectly able to take care of himself and was starting to feel self conscious. Why would it be a problem for the parent to be naked or semi-naked around a same-sex child? I agree with his reasoning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 (Note: I asked my husband if I may post this and he agreed.) I've been contemplating this posting for quite some time and am finally having the courage. I was raised w/ a sister and no brothers. I have 4 and 7 year old sons. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have one bathroom and a small house. I am struggling with what is appropraite modesty for my boys and husband. Here are scenarios on which I would like feedback... * My 7 year old will be in the bathtub or shower and need help w/ the hot water or something else and call me in. Is he too old for me to go in? (Husband isn't always avail to do this) * My husband will be using the bathroom and allow my sons to come in to do whatever... * hubby will come out of the shower and into our room to get dressed w/o any coverage, walking through the hall... * or will walk around (just for a few minutes) in just his underwear... my thinking is that these aren't appropriate. But he reminds me that boys/ men have no privacy (at the gym, in a public restroom, anyplace). So this is fine and normal. Thoughts? While we are a Christian family, I am finding myself concerned about this mainly from a society and well-being standpoint. Thanks for letting me ask- KB I think all of the above are fine and normal. I grew up with one brother in a house with one bathroom. We all walked from the bathroom to our respective bedrooms wrapped in a towel. I would dress/undress in front of my mother and he in front of our father until we hit puberty and cared who saw us. I think if your 7-yo needs help in the bathroom, he would wonder what's wrong that you don't want to help him. He'll let you know when he's old enough to do things by himself by not asking for your help. If you're uncomfortable, by all means start teaching him how to work the hot water by himself- but don't imply that you don't want to help. I would also try to avoid telling him you think it's wrong to see him naked. You changed his diapers, right? At 7 yrs old he won't really see the difference- you're his mom, not a sexual being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 My husband and eldest son don't walk around in the nude, and I've only seem my husband run from the bathroom in his underwear a couple of times. They personally are not comfortable with the boys seeing them naked, nor would my eldest be comfortable with me seeing him (nor would I). I still see my young boys when they are naked (bath issues, dressing, etc), and I figure when they become uncomfortable with it they will not need my assistance with things or want me floating in the bathroom doing things while they are in the tub. They are both in that age of innocence, but when puberty comes, things will change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 My husband helps our son with his bathing needs and has since he was about five years old. It's just how we divided the chores. "You bathe the boy and I'll get the girl," type of thing. DS is almost 8yo and is modest enough now NOT to want me in there. He pulls the curtain and says, "HEY!!" if I come in there. :lol: My son is not left unattended in the bathroom though. He had a febrile seizure in the bathtub two years ago and we were told then that he would need supervision for longer. Hubby reads to him while he bathes. Same-sex nudity doesn't happen in our house. Adults are clothed in front of the children always once they hit about 4yo. My personal issues though and not necessarily the way it HAS to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I can't see any problem with any of your scenarios. My guideline for at home with just the immediate family would be simply to avoid anything that makes anybody feel wrong or uncomfortable. When your children reach a certain age (puberty at the latest, but most likely well before then), they will indicate directly or indirectly that they need privacy, and you respect that. Until then, no need to worry about it. (Of course, when they are away from home they need to take others into account, and likewise if you have guests in your home, eg I'm sure your husband wouldn't wander around naked while your mother was staying!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 We are in almost the exact same situation and I agree that everything that you said is normal and happens here too. I am the only one that requires privacy for showering and dressing. I also agree to just go by what feel comfortable to you and your boys. Keep helping them as long as they need it and also teach them to take care of things on thier own as they are able. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christielee7278 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I can't see any problem with any of your scenarios. My guideline for at home with just the immediate family would be simply to avoid anything that makes anybody feel wrong or uncomfortable. When your children reach a certain age (puberty at the latest, but most likely well before then), they will indicate directly or indirectly that they need privacy, and you respect that. Until then, no need to worry about it. (Of course, when they are away from home they need to take others into account, and likewise if you have guests in your home, eg I'm sure your husband wouldn't wander around naked while your mother was staying!) :iagree: I don't see anything wrong with your scenarios either. When my oldest started feeling modest about his body (about two years ago), we just respected his privacy. My younger three are not modest in the least. My 3 yr old would run around the house completely naked all day if I'd let him. We're pretty relaxed about it when its just our immediate family at home. I bathe all the little boys, and did bathe my oldest until he was old enough to do it himself. My husband does run around in his undies and it doesn't bother anyone, including my oldest who has been known to streak across the house in undies before too. I don't undress in front of my oldest because it would embarrass him but my littles don't care at all. They don't even notice. My husband dresses in front of any of us and nobody is embarrassed. I grew up in a very relaxed home and I have never had any issues with seeing anyone without clothes. My sisters and I used to sit in the bathroom while my mom took her extremely long baths and we all talked. It was a really nice girl time. Her nudity never bothered us. My dad however was never naked around us. He did run around in his undies every now and then which embarrassed me as a pre-teen/teen sometime. I keep that in mind as I'm dressing with my oldest in the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Just piping in to encourage you that it is perfectly acceptable for you to see you 7yo without clothes, and to help him in whatever way he needs help. And, he will let you know when it becomes uncomfortable for him. Try not to act in a way that would shame him in any way. A human body, and all it's parts, are just that. Nothing to be ashamed of. And, I would especially not worry about either of your sons seeing their dad naked. They may ask questions, or start discussions that will open the way for more specific discussions later on, as their bodies start changing, and they start wondering about things. If they are not even allowed to see their dad, and his grown up parts, how are they going to feel comfortable coming to him later with their inevitable questions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LND1218 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I see nothing wrong with it. When the boys reach the point of it bothering them, they will let you know. Until then don't sweat it. Or you can just mention to them that it's okay at home but not around girls. We have girls so dh has been covering up for a long time. I think our oldest was about 3 or 4 when it was clear it was time. And since then he's been modest, and they have when they reached that point. But not me with the girls. I have been the one to not have to worry about it. But I did just realize that in a year or so it will be time for me too since my oldest boy is growing up - he's a preschooler right now. No more bathroom doors open or running to the laundry room to grab something in my bra. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I tend to agree w/ the others: no huge issues that raise nasty flags. but it IS your house also, and if YOU feel uncomfortable, it would be respectful for them to extend a little grace and cover up --at least till you can wrap your mind around the idea. ;) I can say that at our house, no adults are uncovered around kids, and the older dc cover up, even around the same sex. You can still be confident in your sexuality/nudity w/o feeling the need to share it w/ everyone. :D It was never a spoken rule or anything, just happened that way..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 If you're uncomfortable then all the males in your house should care. It won't turn them into suppressed prudes. It's more of a kindness issue 'hey guys cover up, there's a lady present!' As far as helping the 7yo in the tub...you can ask him to sit down in the water and coach him through the actual washing. If it's just helping adjust the water or something, just have him sit down. Modesty must just be something you are born with. I grew up with an older brother that wasn't modest at all!! He still isn't. DH and DS are modest. They never run around in any state of undress. This has never been a topic of discussion, it's just how it is. They aren't ashamed and have no issue with wearing swim trunks with no shirt. We also only have one bathroom and will often need to 'share', however we do respect each other's privacy still (the one in the shower stays in until the one using the toilet leaves or knocking before stepping in to get a hairbrush for example.) So, maybe your men aren't modest and maybe they never will be BUT you can ask for modest behavior as a kindness to you without fearing that they will be scarred for life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 My ds is almost 10 and he is in that stage where one day he is modest and is horrified if I see him naked and then the next day he is stripping down in front of me. Like others I just take my cues from him....doesn't bother me at all to see him naked....but I realize it will begin to bother him soon (all the time not just some of the time) I am not a naturally modest person, so I've had to work on keeping ds out of my room when I change or shower.....He is practically attached to my hip so I have to sometimes look him in the face and say, 'go son! I'm about to be naked!' LOL...he runs then for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 With all boys in the house (DH and 3 DS's) except me, pretty much your scenarios are our lives on a daily basis. DS11 has always been modest. I remember when he was about four, running from one room to another naked for some reason, and he was covering his little booty as he went....made me laugh, cuz he apparently didn't think to cover his frontal. Around 7, he made it apparent that he did not want me in the room when he was getting dressed. And he continues to be ultra modest. DH, and DS6 have no clue about modest. I have to remind my DH to "PLEASE, pull the blinds at night if you are going to walk across the window without clothes, I don't want to be THOSE neighbors!" DS3 is just too young to care either way. I don't let them in my room when I am getting dressed. All of my children understand what "I need privacy" means. I see nothing wrong with anything you have described. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 This is not an issue at all in our house. Nobody seems to really care. We swim and use our hot tub and people are often in various states of undress. I think the dad & sons is totally NOT an issue at any age; your dh is right. With opposite gender parents I think you take cues from the child.... many kids seem to start feeling like they'd like more privacy once they reach puberty - but not all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam101 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I was told once that until they start seeking seeking out privacy that it isn't a worry. As long as they are comfortable and you are comfortable it's fine. I have gotten to a point where I'm not comfortable with my son seeing me in the buff and so I avoid that, but I was helping him wash his hair today (he was being lazy). He is 8, btw. As far as dh and the boys walking around same rule, if they are comfortable no worry. But if you would rather not see your boys then by all means tell them to get dressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Modesty must just be something you are born with. I grew up with an older brother that wasn't modest at all!! He still isn't. I don't know - I think it is more cultural than genetic. My husband was raised in a very "it is your body, be glad that it serves you well, be comfortable in it" environment. I was raised in a strict "cover it up" environment. We both agreed to raise our kid in the European model of "it's the human body - everyone has one - they come in all shapes an sizes - isn't it a glorious creation? What is there to be ashamed of?" This isn't a "flaunting" by any means - neither is it "immodest" - it is a "my body is the physical form I was given to carry out whatever mission I am on earth to perform. It is my job to keep it as healthy and strong as possible." Needless to say, no one much cares who is wearing what in this house when coming in or out of the shower or getting dressed. It isn't an issue because we never made it an issue. I realize that this isn't within the comfort level of all people. But for us, it works. And it has also allowed us to identify odd little health issues with DS that we never would have noticed otherwise (like the ingrown hair on the back of his leg that had gotten severely infected, was not painful, but was in his "blindspot". If we hadn't noticed it when we had, and gotten some strong anti-biotics, it would have had to have been cut out). Like I said - to each his own - but it is possible to raise a "normal" child who has seen mom and dad naked. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I have a family with 4 boys +dh.. All of them except the ds6 get dressed in the bathroom, including my husband. ds 6 leaves the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Mind you. My dh sometimes doesn't wear any underwear under his clothes. The other day he was on the roof adjusting the TV antenna, he asked me to come out and yell if the picture was getting clearer. I glanced up and could see everything ( he was wearing shorts). I got the giggles, and he was most embarrassed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 In our home, the parents are not modest at all- happy to walk around naked sometimes, happy to be chatted to in the shower- I'm still lucky if I can pee privately. I was brought up like that- nudity no issue at all. Dh became that way as an adult. However, my kids have swung the other way and became modest by about 11 or 12 I guess. They still have no problem walking in on me in the shower, but will lock the door for themselves :) I have a boy and a girl and there is no gender discrimination about it. I agree with Peek that you can set the boundaries in your own home, with what you feel comfortable with. I dont think there is any ultimate right and wrong on this one- it depends on your culture and family background as well as your own conscious attitude as an adult. I honestly don't see any moral issues either. I do think repression too far about nudity and making too much of a big deal about it is more likely to create secrecy and possible wierdness than openness and making it not a big deal...but that's just my opinion and I cant back it up with statistics :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I agree with the comment about this being a cultural thing. My husband is from another country and they have absolutely no boundaries. In fact, one time when I was over at my in-laws house, we were all talking and my MIL gets a shirt out of her dresser and starts taking off her shirt to change (right in the middle of the room). I turned around and must've had the weirdest look on my face because my MIL and FIL started laughing. Come on, People! I don't wanna see that! :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Here are scenarios on which I would like feedback... * My 7 year old will be in the bathtub or shower and need help w/ the hot water or something else and call me in. Is he too old for me to go in? (Husband isn't always avail to do this) I try not to do this, but if I do I don't look directly at my son's private parts. * My husband will be using the bathroom and allow my sons to come in to do whatever... Fine * hubby will come out of the shower and into our room to get dressed w/o any coverage, walking through the hall... Fine * or will walk around (just for a few minutes) in just his underwear... Fine Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I don't see any issues with your scenarios. I have 2 boys & I can't imagine it being weird to see my 6 year-old naked any time soon. I will follow his lead but I think we've got at least a few years to go. Father/son nudity isn't a big deal here at all. My mother still sees me naked & I'm 35. I don't think that's weird. I'm not bothered by my sons seeing me dress or be in the shower. I'm careful about stuff below the waist but on top is not a big deal at all. I can't see this changing unless someone starts getting uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I can't see any problem with any of your scenarios. :iagree:However, all parties need to be blase about it. If you aren't, and go in looking like you're seeing a ghost, I'd stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I taught my sons early to bathe themselves and I wouldn't have been actively bathing a 7 year old; however, I wouldn't have had a problem going in when he called to get him something. When it's at the child's initiation, that's not anything that is causing the child a problem. As for dads and sons, I think what you're describing is totally normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 DH, and DS6 have no clue about modest. I have to remind my DH to "PLEASE, pull the blinds at night if you are going to walk across the window without clothes, I don't want to be THOSE neighbors!" I see nothing wrong with anything you have described. :iagree: :lol::lol: Dh and ds6 here also have no clue about modesty. I have to remind ds to make sure he has on more than just underwear if we have company coming over, especially in the summer. And ds would rather be naked if given a choice. We had to make it a rule that one must wear clothes to eat at the dinner table! I am also not naturally modest, but have been trying to be more conscious of it since ds is getting bigger. I see nothing wrong with any of your scenarios, but as others have said, if you are uncomfortable your guys should try to be respectful of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I think several of these scenarios are matters of personal belief, but I don't think there is anything wrong with you or your husband helping your 7 year old. There came an age (when I was around 7 or 8) when I was no longer comfortable in such situations, and I think this is fairly common. That being said, I don't think mainstream American culture has much room for male modesty. The concept of urinals and locker room nudity is kind of bizarre to me, so I always laugh at all the arguments about circumcision that mostly hinge on what men think while gazing at each other's circumcised/uncircumcised member. I think there is a lot to recommend everyone having some personal privacy, and not making changing one's clothes a public event (I was once reprimanded at a camp for changing inside a bathroom stall instead of out in the open!), but this is an issue your sons may have to deal with in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I think the dad & sons is totally NOT an issue at any age; your dh is right. :iagree: If dh is comfortable with it, and they are all boys, I think it is fine. We have ds and dd, so dh and I both cover up. My ds is 7, and we are just at that point where he now closes his door to change, and I (or his sisters) don't help him with the shower anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Another normal vote here. Ds6 is very private and always has been, even at 2. But, he will call me in to the bath for help making sure his hair is rinsed out, etc. Ds9.5 has begun in the last year to change/shower in private, but only from me. The boys take assembly line showers here, sometimes including dh. So one is getting out while the other is getting in. As long as I'm not around, they are fine with this arrangement. I think the scenarios you described are very normal and typical, especially if you only have one bathroom. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I think several of these scenarios are matters of personal belief, but I don't think there is anything wrong with you or your husband helping your 7 year old. There came an age (when I was around 7 or 8) when I was no longer comfortable in such situations, and I think this is fairly common. That being said, I don't think mainstream American culture has much room for male modesty. The concept of urinals and locker room nudity is kind of bizarre to me, so I always laugh at all the arguments about circumcision that mostly hinge on what men think while gazing at each other's circumcised/uncircumcised member. I think there is a lot to recommend everyone having some personal privacy, and not making changing one's clothes a public event (I was once reprimanded at a camp for changing inside a bathroom stall instead of out in the open!), but this is an issue your sons may have to deal with in the future. My husband wasn't circumcized, and it was an area of stress for him growing up when using locker rooms and bathrooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) My husband wasn't circumcized, and it was an area of stress for him growing up when using locker rooms and bathrooms. Sorry -- I didn't mean to imply at all that I wasn't concerned about men's feelings! I meant that I find it so silly that men are standing around looking at each other. That anyone finds it normal to look at another man's organ and even comment. This is just...such a difference experience from how most American women live (since we are not, for example, a "sauna" culture where female public nude bathing is part of most women's lives). My husband grew up in a culture where adult males don't gaze at each other, circumcized or no. Sometimes it's easier to be a woman. Well, except for all those well woman exams.... Edited December 23, 2009 by stripe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I don't see any red flags there. I have 2 sons and a dd and seeing each other naked is just something that happens here. We're all very comfortable with it, but if any of my kids ask for privacy we give it to them although it's very rare If I couldn't help my oldest when he was 7 the poor kids would have been up a creek because my dh is on deployment a lot so that leaves only me. I'm one of those moms that rarely gets privacy to pee let alone anything else. They are the same way with DH when he is home. We've gotten to the point where we don't even close doors anymore because someone's just going to open it and walk in anyway. I think it's all a matter of what you and your family are comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I don't see anything *wrong* with what you are doing but I would change one thing. I would require the boys (and your dh! ;)) to wrap in a towel or wear a robe when walking through the hall from the bathroom to their bedrooms to get dressed. Just my opinion and what we teach our boys to do. There is no issue at all going in to the bathroom to adjust temp or help get the shower started for a 7yo. I have a 7yo too - if he's not in the shower yet I would have him hold a towel around his waist while I started the water. If he's in the shower with it running and he wants me to come in and adjust the temp, I just do it nonchalantly. As for walking around in underwear.....*sigh*. :D My dh does that too - but when I remind him he will throw on his robe before he goes out to the kitchen. It's not a super big deal at all but I really don't want to come out to the family room in the morning to find my dh and all my boys running around in their underwear - this is our home, not a fraternity house thank you much! LOL We don't make a "big" deal of it - but if I find them that way, I'll say - hey where's your robe? And they go get it on or pull on boxers or sweatpants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenniferlee Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I still help my son with washing his hair and he's almost 10 - I can tell he's just starting to get a little aware of being uncomfortable. He is in general very unaware of his surroundings, however- so this is probably a little out of the ordinary. All that to say, your situation seems perfectly fine and natural. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I started giving my almost 10 year old DS some privacy in the shower until the time he came out and his hair was dry and his pits still stank. Now I supervise that soap has actually been applied. :glare: Then I leave him for his 10 minutes of shower time. I guess we're more European in our outlook on bodies. No big deal. I try not to judge others who have what I consider to be hangups about nudity. My kids are fully aware that social circumstances dictate clothing (or else they wouldn't run for their rooms when the doorbell rings and everyone is in underwear). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 If you're uncomfortable then all the males in your house should care. It won't turn them into suppressed prudes. It's more of a kindness issue 'hey guys cover up, there's a lady present!' LOL! gotta agree with that-- dh is definitely NOT a prude ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Testimony Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Here are scenarios on which I would like feedback... * My 7 year old will be in the bathtub or shower and need help w/ the hot water or something else and call me in. Is he too old for me to go in? (Husband isn't always avail to do this) * My husband will be using the bathroom and allow my sons to come in to do whatever... * hubby will come out of the shower and into our room to get dressed w/o any coverage, walking through the hall... * or will walk around (just for a few minutes) in just his underwear... my thinking is that these aren't appropriate. But he reminds me that boys/ men have no privacy (at the gym, in a public restroom, anyplace). So this is fine and normal and that I'n just not understanding. Thoughts? KB My husband does the exact same thing that your husband does and our sons are 10 and 12 years old. I will never do that, but he does. In terms of helping your 7 year old, I remember when I was trying to get some children to go on the sleep away camp at age 8 year old. One mother told me that she still has to help her son wipe his behind. So, she was not going to send him to sleep away. I know my sons at 7 year old would just turn on the water, scrub their hands with soap and water, then say that they showered.:lol: I always had to go in and check them. They hated it. They started cleaning themselves just to avoid me coming in to help. Merry Christmas, Karen http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) Interesting question! As far as I am concerned, if a child still needs help in the bath, they are definitely too young to worry about you seeing them clotheless. I still see my mother without clothes, so clearly same-sex nudity is not an issue for me, even if I'm not exactly comfortable with it. It seems that both European women, and Australian women (or maybe they're European immigrants to Australia?) are comfortable with same-sex nudity in a way that South African's aren't. I am talking about walking around naked in swimming pool changing rooms here - I always cover up and turn my back. Dh tends to walk around with no clothes, and I am less and less comfortable with that as dd gets older (she is 9yrs), and he is doing it less and less, although it is fine for dd to enter the bathroom when he is showering etc. On the other hand, I yesterday had 5 & 7 yr old brothers giggling and pointing because my ds, nearly 3, was running around naked after getting out the pool - fine with me and the hostess, but clearly not done at the home of the other guest. Now that I found offensive - if that is the result of complete modesty in a home, that poses a problem to me. I want dc to see the body as natural, while learning appropriate modesty. Edited December 24, 2009 by nd293 Spell check! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I have to remind my DH to "PLEASE, pull the blinds at night if you are going to walk across the window without clothes, I don't want to be THOSE neighbors!" :lol: That is so my house! He keeps his clothes in the hall cupboard to avoid waking us when he leaves for work in the morning. I have to tell him - "You know, the postman sometimes come right up to the door." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I think all of the above are fine and normal. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) I don't see any red flags there. I have 2 sons and a dd and seeing each other naked is just something that happens here..... I'm one of those moms that rarely gets privacy to pee let alone anything else. They are the same way with DH when he is home. We've gotten to the point where we don't even close doors anymore because someone's just going to open it and walk in anyway. I think it's all a matter of what you and your family are comfortable. I don't think a naked body needs to be equated with evil or dirty. This is not an issue at all in our house. Nobody seems to really care. We swim and use our hot tub and people are often in various states of undress. :iagree:We hate having company over because we don't realize just how easy it is to run around undressed until we can't. Things get much more complicated. Edited December 24, 2009 by Lovedtodeath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbpaulie Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 Thanks everyone, you all came through again. I appreciate all the insights, knowing that this is normal behavior, and that while I have a right to reqeust what is comfortable for me, I may have a few hang-ups. Thanks! Merry Christmas- KB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubermomto5 Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 i generally stop getting dressed in front of my kids when they are old enough to point at me and say, 'nurse' clearly. and bathroom privacy is non-negotiable for me. i can't go if someone over the age of 1 is watching me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 Just chiming in to say that I think each of the scenarios described in the OP are perfectly acceptable. Each family will have different rules for what is acceptable, of course, but I see nothing wrong with the situations you described. Your 7yo will let you know when he is ready for more privacy. My dh and I have four sons btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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