Ria Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Today's request in a letter from a college student: help us raise $30,000 so a bunch of us can go to South Africa, Manila, LA, and Wash. DC for a "summer of service." Um....no. I've seen similar pleas from high school and college students going on missionary trips, but I've also seen similar letters from kids involved with secular organizations. These letters really, really bother me. First, I think that if a student wants to go abroad, he or she can earn the money. Why ask other families who are busy raising their own kids? My dd went to England last summer to study and I certainly didn't solicit money from everyone I know...dd worked, I worked, and we got her to England. Second, I cannot understand why so much money is being spent to take students abroad for missions or service work when the same help is needed close to home. For example, in the next town over we've got a bunch of people in shelters because of the arson fires, unbelievable poverty, violence, etc. So why am I being asked to send $$$ to send some college kid to South Africa to volunteer in the inner city?? For goodness sake, if this one group spent half of the $30,000 they are trying to raise on local concerns, the money would go a heck of a lot farther and make an impact in their own backyard. Grrrr. Ria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st_claire Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I don't see a problem. They are simply sending a letter and asking. You are free to say no. I would say no also. And as for the local issues, why don't you send a letter asking for money to help out that cause? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 :iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 That is a good question. Forgive me for adding on to this but I am wondering what others here would think of a letter from a kid going to another country for a surfing mission trip. The organization sponsors mission trips to countries that aren't always reached by other means. I am indecisive on both of these questions. I live in a place where people are always sponsoring others to do all kinds of things. People here have lots of $$ and give back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 That is a good question. Forgive me for adding on to this but I am wondering what others here would think of a letter from a kid going to another country for a surfing mission trip. The organization sponsors mission trips to countries that aren't always reached by other means. I am indecisive on both of these questions. I live in a place where people are always sponsoring others to do all kinds of things. People here have lots of $$ and give back. The cynical side of me (what?? Me, cynical? Evil chuckle...) thinks that it sounds like a glorified surfing trip couched in Christian clothes, or swim trunks, as the case may be. Ria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 (edited) I had to earn such funds myself. I babysat and got part time jobs to raise what I needed to travel (any amount of the bill not footed by my parents). Yes, they may have altruistic motives, but you hit the nail on the head, there are needs/opportunities to serve close to home for nearly everyone. What troubles me most is, the one time we really wanted to reward a hard-working kid we knew by making a significant contribution to his trip, we were not allowed to designate it for him as an individual, it had to go into the pot and be distributed to the group. Now the group members may like this, but it did not sit well with us as donors. That's just my opinion, of course, perhaps that wouldn't trouble others, but it really bothered my husband. Many years ago, when we just had little kids ourselves, we would invite a group like this over to do yard work, wash windows, etc, and pay them generously for their service to help them with fundraisers. But now that I have older kids, I need my cash to support our own educational experiences (and my kids do have to work for their privileges!). Edited February 20, 2009 by AuntieM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnetteB Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I'm with you. Charity begins at home and some of these "mission trips" are far more vacation and expense than they are worth. We turn away the neighbor kids that come to the door selling candy, coupon booklets, wrapping paper, and cookies, too. We pay property taxes that support the public schools and that is enough. Sometimes I feel like I am mean to say, "No," but honestly, I would never go asking for money or let my dc do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancora_Imparo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I don't like these letters either. My niece sent one out last summer and it was very obvious that she did not write the letter. If you are going to ask me for money, at least write me a personal note in your own words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I don't like these letters either. My niece sent one out last summer and it was very obvious that she did not write the letter. If you are going to ask me for money, at least write me a personal note in your own words. Another burning point for dh! Letter not really written by the kids, donations to go to the church, no feedback on if/when the goal would be met... all dressed up in Christian terms. A sad sign of the times, methinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 It doesn't bother me. Our babysitter is spending ten days in the Dominican Republic this summer to help build something (like a school or an orphanage). She didn't ask me money, but I would have given it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 They go into the circular file ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I won't give money at the request of a letter. I would give money for a group car wash or bake sale or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Missionaries have to garner their own support. Every single missionary I've ever known of or have seen has had to do that. Long term missionaries usually go to different churches that are like-minded with their missions organization, do a presentation of what their plans are for the trip and seek to gain supporters. People can pledge to support monthly or give a one-time gift. So, if I get a letter from a student asking for support for a short-term missions trip, it doesn't bother me. I can choose to financially support them or not. However, requests to support vacations, trips to camp, etc. are usually filed in the round file. My church won't allow a missionary to come unless they're from a well-known and reputable missions organization. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I went on two medical missions trips in medical school where I raised funds. I was uncomfortable doing it but I was encouraged by a lot of people at my church that I should. I went with very well-known organizations, what we were doing was clear and I absolutely wrote my letters myself. I also sent personal thank you notes to everyone and another letter when I got back with pictures of the trip. I was really grateful to my supporters. I couldn't have gone otherwise. You have no extra money in med school and no time to work so it was the only way to go. I understood people who couldn't or didn't want to give and really can't remember now who did or didn't. I would be happy to support someone going on a similar trip, especially if I knew it was difficult for them to go otherwise. At the same time, if it's not a trip I believe in or not a reputable organization I wouldn't feel obligated to say yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Our church has several mission trips in which teens can participate. They all involve work, most involve heavy manual labor. These trips are about 2 weeks and generally have one scheduled day of relaxation. They aren't terribly expensive, even the one which goes to the Dominican Republic. The youth group spends all year doing fund raisers --car washes, pie sales, spaghetti dinners to raise money. They do not send letters soliciting cash directly, although the church newsletter has announcements about accepting donations. In other words individual participants are not sent out to beg for funds--they work for it. I don't think this request for funding is limited to mission trips. I believe I've seen such solicitations for activities that are purely personal gain. I wouldn't donate either way. I think the "mission trip" is a way to make it look a legitimate altruistic activity and I'm not sure this is completely honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Missionaries have to garner their own support. Every single missionary I've ever known of or have seen has had to do that. That is not how it is in our denomination. We send them out and the church denomination (with donations from all churches into the pot) do it. We have never had our missionaries come to our church asking for money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 provided it is a missions trip and I know the person. I've never said "no" to one, actually. The trips to which I've contributed are NOT vacations, even though they've been to to some exotic places. The kids (or adults) have slept on concrete floors and taken cold showers and really worked while they were there (Dominican Republic, Middle East, Africa, S. America, among others). I'm happy to be asked to participate in some way that doesn't involve me sleeping on a concrete floor, and it wouldn't occur to me to be offended. Terri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I consider the vast majority of short-term missions to be vacations. Granted, the destination may not be comfy, but the reality is, it's a travel opportunity. It may do wonders to open the so-called "missionaries" eyes to the broader world, and that's grand. But I don't want to fund it. Also, as you said, Ria, I'm keenly aware of how often the possibilities close to home are neglected in lieu of the farther destinations. I/we get these letters from people who have made virtually no effort to develop relationship with us. I don't want my first and only real contact ~ written or verbal ~ with someone to come when they're drumming up funding. Furthermore, I don't want to fund a young person's "missions trip" (or anything else) when they're doing very little in the way of earning money on their own. Example: One young man, a college student, solicited funds via such a letter. He was, at that time, on a break from school and had no ongoing, paid work. My husband offered to hire him to do some odd jobs at twice what we'd normally pay for the work. He never responded to the offer. What's up with that? I want to do this thing and I want to raise the money, but I don't want to really work in the process? Good grief. I would be very uncomfortable if my boys solicited money in this manner, but once they're older, that'll be their decision. I realize, too, that some people actually appreciate such letters. They really do see it as an opportunity to participate in the mission (or whatever). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtsmamtj Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Sorry, but they need to work for it!!! We donated to a friend's son who was going on a mission's trip but he came over and "earned" it - we paid him hourly. We were then invited to hear about their trip later on. T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 :banghead: I dislike fund raising in general. Didn't do much as a kid b/c of my opposition to this. As a parent I loathe it. How can I justify panhandling or begging for something that is not needed? It's an embarrassment to what our societal expectations have become. Unfortunately this attitude has made it more difficult for others in our booster clubs, groups, etc. to raise the funds they feel should be donated by others. ITA What is the solution other than refusing to beg or toss written requests (aka begging) in the circular file? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Today's request in a letter from a college student: help us raise $30,000 so a bunch of us can go to South Africa, Manila, LA, and Wash. DC for a "summer of service." Um....no. I've seen similar pleas from high school and college students going on missionary trips, but I've also seen similar letters from kids involved with secular organizations. These letters really, really bother me. First, I think that if a student wants to go abroad, he or she can earn the money. Why ask other families who are busy raising their own kids? My dd went to England last summer to study and I certainly didn't solicit money from everyone I know...dd worked, I worked, and we got her to England. Second, I cannot understand why so much money is being spent to take students abroad for missions or service work when the same help is needed close to home. For example, in the next town over we've got a bunch of people in shelters because of the arson fires, unbelievable poverty, violence, etc. So why am I being asked to send $$$ to send some college kid to South Africa to volunteer in the inner city?? For goodness sake, if this one group spent half of the $30,000 they are trying to raise on local concerns, the money would go a heck of a lot farther and make an impact in their own backyard. Grrrr. Ria :iagree: I am so glad somebody feels the way I do. I feel like the whole "missions" thing is an excuse to get somebody to pay your kids way. I think if you want to provide the experience for your kid - great - then you or you kids pays for it. I also feel this way about adults going on missions trips. And... while I am ranting... I also don't see why everyone has to run to other countries to help poor or unsaved people. There are so many people right here that need help. Done ranting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 and times when I have discarded such letters guilt free. I absolutely think there are better uses of my money than funding a 15 year old travelling across the world the build something that the people there could build at a small fraction of the cost. At the same time, I have friends whose children write and ask for help, and sometimes I am glad to have a way to say, "You are a great kid, I love you, here's a little something for your trip." But honestly, I wouldn't let my children write those letters. I would let them advertise that they are available to do work and what the proceeds will be used for, but just asking for the money? Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 OK, I'm going to stick my neck out here and take the unpopular position. It really depends on the trip. If it is truly a "mission" trip and the kids are going to go somewhere and learn what it is like to live in a developing country, be challenged to be less selfish, put others first, share the Gospel, do some good works and be motivated to go long-term to the unreached then I am usually for it. Fund raising breaks down things like pride as it takes humility to ask others for help. There are people who are unable to go to other places for whatever reason but still want to be a part of the Lord's work in those areas and they can participate by being a supporter. Most importantly, it is an opportunity for God to get the glory for provision of what is needed, even when the resources look slim and the need insurmountable, He always comes through if it is supposed to happen. It all belongs to Him anyway. If it is a camp trip or something else like that. Then I may still contribute but the kids I know who have requested help for this kind of trip usually offer babysitting or other ways to work for their funds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I don't see a problem. They are simply sending a letter and asking. You are free to say no. I would say no also. And as for the local issues, why don't you send a letter asking for money to help out that cause? no kidding. talk about taking offense where none was intended. this kind of "reasoning" really ticks me off. speaking of making more of an impact in our own backyards, maybe we should STOP spending money on field trips for our own dc or pool maintenance and instead funnel those few bucks to Ria's Pet Projects. I mean, i'm sure those people deserve it more than our own kids, right? and if we ALL did that bit of savings, that could equal quite a chunk. heaven forbid we or our kids pursue something that actually INTERESTS them if there's somebody local suffering for some reason. I'm glad there's always the Reason Police around to decide whether someone's reasons for doing X trip or Y fundraising is deemed "reasonable work" or "just begging." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 (edited) I shared my own not so humble opinion in a similar thread: =============== http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=788657#post788657 Originally Posted by MomOfOneFunOne 5) Instead of teaching my daughter to expect other people to pay her way, I would prefer to teach her that sacrifice and hard work are virtues. Having said that, though, if a girl wanted to bake some cookies or make some lemonade and have a stand in her front yard, I'd support that. Why, I wonder. Does that make me a hipocrite? I have very strong opinions about Girl Scout, et al. selling but proudly support home-grown entrepreneurial enterprises. All of a sudden I dont' make sense to myself. I am proud of a girl or boy who decides to get a job, mow some lawns, pet sit, et c. to earn some extra money or save toward something s/he wants but the other is just galling. I wonder why. I can't get on the "entitlement" bandwagon when people are being asked to give/ buy *willingly*. It is precisely BECAUSE of the obvious reasoning above that I have let the kids participate in fundraisers for Scouts, 4-H, and now--yup-- CAMP. Selling overpriced chocolate bars and popcorn? I wouldn't buy them, but others will, and they happen to like that they are giving AND getting. Go figger what people will spend money on: makeup. beauty products. belt buckles. sending kids to camp. I guess everyone has their own ideas of what is worthy of them spending their money on. And what defines putting a kid to WORK? As the poster quoted above mentions, why do we insist on seeing a specific kind of work from someone? Did they put any effort into selling the chocolate door to door as opppsed to setting up a static lemonade stand? Was there no WORK involved in learning to approach someone and make your case known? Why do we think it is worth it to have someone "work" at a meaningless task when they could offer a product instead? Lots of people are content to just donate money and pass on whatever is offered. And a LOT have the guts to say no thanks, but good luck. I have found that a lot of people won't hire a kid to mow their lawn, walk their dogs, or do much of anything, thanks to our litigious society and current economy. Kid gets hurt on your property, you could be TOAST. A guy down the street wants to let our 4-H club USE his 7 acres, but he's torn about the possible lawsuits. Especially with kids. Oldest wants to go to Philmont Scout Camp this summer. I told dh that there is NO WAY we can cover that as long as he's unemployed. Even if his deceased dad's house sells, that money needs to be for our basic expenses till he's gainfully employed. I was content to point out that since dh didn't get to attend Philmont till he was an adult leader, It wouldn't kill oldest to have to wait either. HOWEVER! As someone who is very active in our local community, I did suggest that if ds wanted to put together a cover letter, resume [he needs one for 4-H anyway], and letters of reference, he might want to approach some local businesses to see if they would be interested in sponsoring him. They already know that he is an active community youth leader [they've talked to him at city events and council meetings], and they know the problems that a lot of kids encounter trying to earn money the traditional way. It has been my experience in listening to business owners that they are usually Too Happy to help give back to the community, especially when it involves leadership and character opportunities for local youth. Is he willing to work for the money? ayup. has he had any takers? nope. On the Christian front, we are told to make our needs known. I am at peace with however it works: if he gets all his ducks lined up and approaches the businesses himself and gets turned down, then he will have learned an important lesson that he won't soon forget. If they decide to sponsor him, then I am content that he did a LOT of preparation and character training to get that sponsorship and that God opens doors for even "non-necessary" things. As Christians, our brothers and sisters in Christ NEED the opportunity to give. It is a blessing to be able to help people, Christian or not. Whether it be as simple as having an extra teaspoon of vanilla to share w/ a neighbor, offering to double back and pick up a friend's kids for the Valentine's party, or picking up donations of food for the local food pantry, filling a person's physical and emotional needs runs the gamut of abilities. Our family has experienced the joy of giving over and over in the community, in different capacities of "neediness." I am very thankful that people have made their needs and wants KNOWN. On that other end, I want my kids to understand that NO, we can't just ask for anything we want. If you are going to make a need or desire known, you must do so graciously and w/ the expectation that some people will NOT appreciate you making the request in the first place. As I mentioned in the "shoes indoors" thread, when you know there's a certain segment of the population [such as the respondents in this thread] that think what you are doing is rude, be prepared for a gracious conflict and employ peacemaking skills wherever you can. I like communication. I like finding out that I can give a person a gift that they actually ENJOY. Whether that be building up a camp/college/car fund or hunting down a specific piece to make their kitchen a homey place for THEM, I give because I want them to be happy, not so i can say "but I gave them such a great USEFUL gift!" Practicality is often in the mind of the gifter....... i don't mind requests for donations. I don't mind letting people know that my kids are blessed w/ TONS of toys and books so if they feel led to bring a gift, then please consider cash, gift cards, or adding to their [X] collection. cash is a green gift in more than one way, as someone else mentioned. If the recipient actually likes and uses their present, it is less likely to end up in a landfill. I like consumable gifts myself I don't mind people taking the initiative to fund their activities from people willing to fund the activity for whatever personal reasons they want. I DO mind the gvt taking my money by force and giving it to anyone who qualifies regardless what those people have done to EARN my money. Asking vs begging Begging has a lot of negative connotations, which is why we don't often use it when we are trying to justify a request. But there is likely some area or some time that we have each begged for something. entitle: 2 : to furnish with proper grounds for seeking or claiming something <this ticket entitles the bearer to free admission> Who gets to define proper grounds? In these cases, it's the people who are being asked to part with their money: Why should I fund your project? Grants. scholarships. coupons. entitlement: 1 a: the state or condition of being entitled : right b: a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract 2: a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group ; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program3: belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges I do see a difference between being entitled to seek something vs an entitlement attitude and begging. Is it begging to offer something in exchange for money? work? a product? personal satisfaction of the giver in giving? a better-prepared youth that will equip said youth to better serve the community? Beg synonyms beg , entreat , beseech , implore , supplicate , adjure , importune mean to ask urgently. beg suggests earnestness or insistence especially in asking for a favor <children begging to stay up late>. entreat implies an effort to persuade or to overcome resistance <entreated him to change his mind>. beseech implies great eagerness or anxiety <I beseech you to have mercy>. implore adds to beseech a suggestion of greater urgency or anguished appeal <implored her not to leave him>. supplicate suggests a posture of humility <with bowed heads they supplicated their Lord>. adjure implies advising as well as pleading and suggests the invoking of something sacred <in God's name I adjure you to cease>. importune suggests an annoying persistence in trying to break down resistance to a request <importuning viewers for contributions>. will i allow my kids to beg [w/ earnestness and insistence] that people fund their projects or buy their products? NO. They must take no for an answer and leave the person w/ a smile for the day. Any request they make/ product they sell can NOT be mixed w/ an insistence that the world will end if their request is not met --quite the opposite. will i allow the kids to present their request/product before someone? yes. That being said, I won't let them approach someone who I already know is struggling financially, even if they see that same someone buy overpriced Girl Scout cookies from another homeschooler in the group. Edited February 20, 2009 by Peek a Boo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Today's request in a letter from a college student: help us raise $30,000 so a bunch of us can go to South Africa, Manila, LA, and Wash. DC for a "summer of service." Um....no. I've seen similar pleas from high school and college students going on missionary trips, but I've also seen similar letters from kids involved with secular organizations. These letters really, really bother me. First, I think that if a student wants to go abroad, he or she can earn the money. Why ask other families who are busy raising their own kids? My dd went to England last summer to study and I certainly didn't solicit money from everyone I know...dd worked, I worked, and we got her to England. Second, I cannot understand why so much money is being spent to take students abroad for missions or service work when the same help is needed close to home. For example, in the next town over we've got a bunch of people in shelters because of the arson fires, unbelievable poverty, violence, etc. So why am I being asked to send $$$ to send some college kid to South Africa to volunteer in the inner city?? For goodness sake, if this one group spent half of the $30,000 they are trying to raise on local concerns, the money would go a heck of a lot farther and make an impact in their own backyard. Grrrr. Ria We recently gave money to support a teen in our church so she could make an overseas mission trip. We felt it was an investment both in the ministry, as well as her personal growth, and she is becoming a fine young Christian woman. :001_smile: If you feel led, give. If you don't, ignore the request. The beauty of the America that I love is having the freedom to give or not give according to my convictions. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I'd rather be asked outright for money than have them come here and try to sell me something I don't want. yup. I'm sick of overpriced cookies, pies, lemonade, spaghetti, and other useless CRAP that I don't need. I can wash my car myself, TYVM, and I don't want to pay someone else to do something that I'm capable of doing myself. And the stuff I'm willing to pay for is likely labor that a kid is incapable of doing --or doing to my standards. Car washes that have teen girls dressed in little bikinis jumping around waving a sign don't get my money either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 written requests (aka begging) You're either begging for them to buy your unnecessary item [pie/ spaghetti/ car wash/manual labor] or you are begging for cash donations. Either way, you are asking for MONEY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I hate it... Earn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 yup. I'm sick of overpriced cookies, pies, lemonade, spaghetti, and other useless CRAP that I don't need. Car washes that have teen girls dressed in little bikinis jumping around waving a sign don't get my money either. :iagree: especially the last line you mentioned. Yuck, yuck, yuck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 We recently gave money to support a teen in our church so she could make an overseas mission trip. We felt it was an investment both in the ministry, as well as her personal growth, and she is becoming a fine young Christian woman. :001_smile: If you feel led, give. If you don't, ignore the request. The beauty of the America that I love is having the freedom to give or not give according to my convictions. ;) :patriot: I don't get why people are so offended by this. Simply say no, thank you, and move on. I guess I fall into the camp of "There's no harm in asking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 OK, I'm going to stick my neck out here and take the unpopular position. It really depends on the trip. If it is truly a "mission" trip and the kids are going to go somewhere and learn what it is like to live in a developing country, be challenged to be less selfish, put others first, share the Gospel, do some good works and be motivated to go long-term to the unreached then I am usually for it. Fund raising breaks down things like pride as it takes humility to ask others for help. There are people who are unable to go to other places for whatever reason but still want to be a part of the Lord's work in those areas and they can participate by being a supporter. Most importantly, it is an opportunity for God to get the glory for provision of what is needed, even when the resources look slim and the need insurmountable, He always comes through if it is supposed to happen. It all belongs to Him anyway.If it is a camp trip or something else like that. Then I may still contribute but the kids I know who have requested help for this kind of trip usually offer babysitting or other ways to work for their funds. :iagree: Missions trips change lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 OK, I'm going to stick my neck out here and take the unpopular position. It really depends on the trip. If it is truly a "mission" trip and the kids are going to go somewhere and learn what it is like to live in a developing country, be challenged to be less selfish, put others first, share the Gospel, do some good works and be motivated to go long-term to the unreached then I am usually for it. Fund raising breaks down things like pride as it takes humility to ask others for help. There are people who are unable to go to other places for whatever reason but still want to be a part of the Lord's work in those areas and they can participate by being a supporter. Most importantly, it is an opportunity for God to get the glory for provision of what is needed, even when the resources look slim and the need insurmountable, He always comes through if it is supposed to happen. It all belongs to Him anyway.If it is a camp trip or something else like that. Then I may still contribute but the kids I know who have requested help for this kind of trip usually offer babysitting or other ways to work for their funds. I agree with every word you said Soph . There is a librarian here who raises money to fund her annual trip to Thailand to teach young women/children quilting and fiber arts to help pay for their AIDS medications and food. 10-15 year olds with AIDS from rape .These beautiful souls were sold to tourists for the express purpose of violation.That kind of evil is rare in this country and certainly not part of a governmental policy of ignoring the problem as it is in many other countries. Try to wrap your head around that and call it uneeded . I cannot imagine telling my librarian that she is doing uneeded work or panhandling for her mission work. It is an honor to help her in whatever small way possible. Yes it is absolutely obvious that there are people in dire need everywhere and charity begins at home but to suggest people have selfish motives is perplexing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Quite honestly, it depends. I have a niece in Central America at the moment doing environmental research which she in part funded with donations. But she knows that I am going to give her gifts anyway so she suggested that I sponsor her through her 501-C umbrella organization. That way I get a tax deduction out of the deal. My son is working a pancake breakfast tomorrow to help the 4-H teens fund their upcoming ski trip. There are kids who would never get to the mountains or the slopes without 4-H orchestrating this. Does a kid need to ski to live? Certainly not, but I think that these are broadening opportunities. I hope that they sell lots of pancakes and fill their tip jars. Parents could fund these trips or deny their kids the opportunity if the children do not have ways to make money on their own. I like the way that our 4-H organization provides events for the kids to work so that they can add money to their 4-H accounts and thus take ownership of the activity. But no one is forced to participate--either as a worker or a ticket buyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Some people have money to spare and enjoy to give, so let them. I wouldnt give to something like that- it doesn't feel right to me, especially when my kids want to go on expensive camps and even at ages 13 and 14 are earning the money themselves. But then, i am fussy where I give my charity money- I wont buy chocolates either! Cant stand to be asked to buy chocolates. Cant stand fund raising in general, actually. I will gladly put money in a busker's coffer though, if I like the music- they are earning it, and to a couple of charities I know really are charities. I even give to Greenpeace sometimes. Dont like the japanese killing our whales down here at all. But a personal holiday- even if veiled in the cloak of service- is not something I would donate toward unless the special curcumstances pulled on my heartstrings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Today's request in a letter from a college student: help us raise $30,000 so a bunch of us can go to South Africa, Manila, LA, and Wash. DC for a "summer of service." Um....no. I've seen similar pleas from high school and college students going on missionary trips, but I've also seen similar letters from kids involved with secular organizations. These letters really, really bother me. First, I think that if a student wants to go abroad, he or she can earn the money. Why ask other families who are busy raising their own kids? My dd went to England last summer to study and I certainly didn't solicit money from everyone I know...dd worked, I worked, and we got her to England. I just evaluate each request. I don't donate if, after observing the circumstances, I think that the person could earn his funds, or that the project is not something I want to donate to for whatever reason. And with raising a family now on a tight budget, I'm less inclined to give, unless it's through a personal relationship. Actually, most of my giving has been because of personal relationship, not blanket requests. On the other side, I've been one of those missionaries who raised monthly support for volunteer staff positions with one organization for 5 years. But this was after earning my own funds through jobs for: my first short term mission trip, and my year of initial training in the mission organization. This was within a couple of years after high school. Then I wanted to work with the org. fulltime, so I set about raising monthly support. I mostly did it through friends and family who knew me. I tried to word my personal or personally written requests in a way that would not make them feel obligated to pledge. I basically laid out what I would be doing, how I felt it would help others, and said, "if you'd like to help out, I'd really appreciate it, but if you don't, that's fine, too." One thing the org. I worked with really stressed about support raising was "relationship." Try to keep the relationships first priority, instead of seeing people as money machines. I also wrote personal letters to my monthly supporters every month, letting them know what I was doing, and asking about their lives, visiting them when I was home, and profusely thanking them for their past support whenever anyone had to stop donating, and STILL keeping in touch with them. Even after I finished my volunteer work, I still kept in touch with the various supporters I'd had over the years. I guess because of this experience, I evaluate requests through the eyes of personal relationship. Or just when I feel moved to do something. I guess there are a myriad ways of approaching this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 We live in an area where there are some very wealthy families. My kids have friends who live in very tiny homes and friends who live in mansion-like homes on the beach. It is very common for people to help others out. Sports are a big deal here and many kids get sponsors to help pay their expenses on travel teams. These sponsors donate money toward an individual or an entire team. I thought it was a little unusual at first but people here enjoy giving back and helping out others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 You know, I used to think that these "mission trips" were a pointless waste of money. There are FAR cheaper ways of getting whatever done locally than sending unskilled and, well, pampered teens to do it. Then I listened to some kids talk about their experience, and I realized just how pampered and unskilled the were!!!! Most of these kids had never even been on a real camping trip. It is precisely for this reason that they need the trips. They couldn't understand otherwise how missionaries live, never mind the people they were helping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I think going on summer mission trips has become the new yuppy vacation. It makes me cringe to think of all the money wasted for folks to fly back and forth and round and round rather than just stationing more permanent workers in an area and supplying them with what they need.... Organizations such as People to People and other youth leadership conferences council parents and their children to request money in this way to fund trips they'd like to do but can't afford on their own.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 (edited) Then I listened to some kids talk about their experience, and I realized just how pampered and unskilled the were!!!! Most of these kids had never even been on a real camping trip. It is precisely for this reason that they need the trips. They couldn't understand otherwise how missionaries live, never mind the people they were helping. My oldest dd tends to think she is poor and deprived because she hasn't seen every movie that every kid at church has seen, she doesn't have a cell phone, she doesn't have all the latest gadgets. Last summer, she went on a mission trip to one of the poorest places in the US and she realized just how nice she has it. Truly, her heart was broken and her life was changed. I have been on a couple of mission trips, and they were hard work, not play and not vacation. Our church always tries to work in one fun activity during mission trips, but that's it. My dd didn't send out any letters, but I'm not opposed to them. When we can support someone going on a mission trip, we do, and when we can't, we don't. Our youth dept does a good job of helping kids raise funds by babysitting, working the concession stand for the local soccer league, and things like that. Regarding where we do mission work, why not locally and overseas? Our church tries to teach service as a way of life, not an occasional project. The same person might be involved in handing out bags of food at the church (our food pantry serves 200-250 families twice a month), going downtown to give water and blankets to homeless people, and teaching a sports camp in Romania. We're not limited to choosing one place or one project. Edited February 21, 2009 by LizzyBee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusPair Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 We got one of those letters last year from the son of dh's co-worker. We were surprised and just decided to ignore it. Maybe if we knew the kid personally and he had spoken to us in person about raising funds and we had a direct interest in his pursuits, then we might have given a small amount. Maybe. You can only give to so many people and groups and these trips aren't big on our priority list. I think the groups can choose to do a lot of good locally. There is need everywhere. No need to travel to sunny California with beaches and DisneyLand to do good works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 That is not how it is in our denomination. We send them out and the church denomination (with donations from all churches into the pot) do it. We have never had our missionaries come to our church asking for money. Can I just say how wonderful it is that your church does this?! Bless you for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 It annoys the life out of me. I think if you are going to go overseas to work - you should get some good practice locally before you leave. Especially teenagers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 The best trip any of mine have been on is the Habitat for Humanity trip my oldest took. It cost us about a hundred bucks to send him, they went to Mississippi where they slept on the floor of a church for one week and during that time TWO Habitat houses were mostly completed. I so regretted that after that trip the organizers left that church and there was never another opportunity for my other kids to do that. I am not always opposed to sending out letters for funds for mission trips. I think if the trip were truly worthy and I knew the kid and he or she was truly invested in this, I would contribute. But both the trip and the kid would have to get past my finely tuned B.S radar first. I do think there is plenty do here, close to home. That same kid who went on the Habitat trip grew up and with his wife and several of his fellow church members spent two weeks in New Mexico building a decent house for a pastor of a small church in an impoverished area. Very worthy work and no need to send a letter out to your friends and friends of friends begging for money to get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Can I just say how wonderful it is that your church does this?! Bless you for this. :001_smile: (Not that I had anything to do with the organization of our church... :001_smile:) I agree with you in that I really think it is wonderful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I think going on summer mission trips has become the new yuppy vacation. It makes me cringe to think of all the money wasted for folks to fly back and forth The best trip any of mine have been on is the Habitat for Humanity trip my oldest took. It cost us about a hundred bucks to send him, they went to Mississippi where they slept on the floor of a church for one week and during that time TWO Habitat houses were mostly completed. :iagree: (processing my thinking) Maybe these two comments are what illustrate to me the difference between what I experienced in the mid 80s to early 90s, to what I see more of now. When I went on my first missions trip in 1986, it cost me $400 (I know, it would cost more now), but it was for two months' worth of travel, food, and accomodation. We traveled on an old rickety schoolbus (with experienced volunteer mechanics) from New Hampshire all the way down to Mexico City and back, stopping for a week or two here and there to help with different projects, eating simple groceries or whatever a church group or host family provided for us, and staying in church buildings or in people's homes or in an orphanage on a cement floor. It was life-changing for me. Maybe it's that difference that makes me more selective in what I support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in IL Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 One in particular really bugged me, it was not a mission trip either. I almost sent them a letter in return asking for help with ds's $27,000 tuition bill. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wide eyes & laughter Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I'm with you. Charity begins at home and some of these "mission trips" are far more vacation and expense than they are worth. We turn away the neighbor kids that come to the door selling candy, coupon booklets, wrapping paper, and cookies, too. We pay property taxes that support the public schools and that is enough. Sometimes I feel like I am mean to say, "No," but honestly, I would never go asking for money or let my dc do it. :iagree:We do this, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 We buy candy from neighbor kids who come knocking (at least one) because it takes guts to ask. However, my cousin is going on a missionary trip and raising money. I had to decline, because the whole purpose of the trip is to build a church. If it were to dig a well, build livable houses, build a school, etc. I would have donated quite a large sum. These are things useful. If a denomination wants to build a church, the denomination should pay for that. I find it disgusting that the church would be the most well-built structure in a villiage where most don't have running water and live with dirt floors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in MO Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 (edited) We buy candy from neighbor kids who come knocking (at least one) because it takes guts to ask. However, my cousin is going on a missionary trip and raising money. I had to decline, because the whole purpose of the trip is to build a church. If it were to dig a well, build livable houses, build a school, etc. I would have donated quite a large sum. These are things useful. If a denomination wants to build a church, the denomination should pay for that. I find it disgusting that the church would be the most well-built structure in a villiage where most don't have running water and live with dirt floors. point---in fact, I almost always buy candy and other fundraising items from kids, and I do weigh carefully letters that arrive in the mail asking for donations for specific missions trips. However, I don't see any evidence for your latter point. Can you cite specific examples in which a church has gone into an area, built a great building while at the same time ignoring the living conditions of the villages? Churches throughout the ages have indeed gone into poor areas and generally-speaking have built fairly simple, functional structures. They don't usually build structures like the Crystal Cathedral. The first work of the church is preaching the Gospel. However, most churches quickly look to satisfy the needs of the local population by building schools, hospitals, improving drinking water, etc. In fact, this was a fascinating article that I read about a month ago which was written about church work in Africa. I can think of example after example in history where the church has done great good. Catholic monasteries throughout the ages have built small, simple churches and then have immediately begun to tend to the needs of their flocks. The same was true in the New World when Spanish (and French) Jesuit and Franciscan priests came to the Americas. Simple church structures were built, and then these men lived a life of voluntary poverty in order to meet the needs of the locals. This is still happening today. Bruce Olson (from Minnesota), whose missions work is explained in the book Bruchko, has literally spent his life to meet the needs of the Motilone Indians in the rainforests of South America. Missionary Don Richardson, who wrote Lords of the Earth and Peace Child, has also described missionary activities in areas and in living conditions in which most of us would shudder to imagine. Those missionary activities included a great degree of practical help; I can't think of one instance in which a fancy building was built while at the same time ignoring the practical, physical needs of the people. Edited February 21, 2009 by Michelle in MO additional thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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