being asked to take off shoes before entering house

[HRAAB]

I can recall only two homes where we need to take our shoes off: my sil whose dh is Asian, and a friend whose dh is from the Philippines. I always assumed it was from that culture.

 

We don't have a lot of mud and snow here, but I would think it would be common courtesy to remove snow boots and such. As for shoes, I've never asked anyone to remove their shoes since it's not common in our area. I'm used to doing it at the friend's or sil's houses, but otherwise I would be uncomfortable. It's their house, and if they asked I would, but I wouldn't be comfortable.

 

I know from working in property/casualty underwriting for 18 years that most businesses require footwear due to liability issues. Shoes protect your feet from injury. Probably not so likely in a home, but there was that time my dd broke a light bulb and ended up getting a piece of glass in her foot. We had friends over at the time, and I was glad it was my dd and not a guest - not that I wished that on my dd - but I didn't want to be responsible for their injury.

 

Janet

[Rose in BC]

My dogs go out 10x/day. I only wipe them if it's raining out.

 

My dogs are indoor dogs so when we let them out and they immediately come back, no I don't necessarily wipe them although I might put a towel on the floor for them to walk over. We live on the west coast and it is frequently, and I do mean frequently, wet or snowy so frequently we do have to actually hand wipe them down. Also my dog enter through our back door which is a mudroom. So they have to walk through that room, which gets the most dirt, before they enter the living area.

 

And yes it is a pain because I have three dogs.

[hsmomof2boys]

I don't see anything wrong with asking people to remove their shoes, if that is the policy in your home. We remove our shoes because of all the lawn chemicals, etc. that could be tracked in from the neighbors' yards. We use organic lawn chemicals, but they don't, and my son has medical issues.

 

Sometimes it makes people annyoed to remove their shoes, and if they don't really want to, I just don't worry about it. These people are adults--children have to remove their shoes, lol!

 

Also, the service people who come over never remove their shoes, saying it's against regulation, etc. Some say they can't wear covers either, because it makes their shoes slippery. I have had a certain furniture company track mud in--and when I complained, the company offered to have someone come and shampoo my carpets (which I didn't let them do, I got it out myself). It's just the point....

 

Where do you get the covers to go over the shoes so I can offer those to people? Can you get them online?

 

Thank you.

[MIch elle]

:seeya:

 

 

I'm starting to wonder if the people who've said they'd find it rude, or that they wouldn't visit someone who expected this, just don't have bad weather where they live.....I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots! :001_huh:

 

Most people don't go in the snow. They go from car to house, going from garage or walking on driveways or walkways. They wipe their shoes and if their shoes/boots are bad they are SMART enough to know to take them off.

 

We go directly from garage to house. We do have an area immediately inside the garage to take off our shoes if needed but visitors never see this area and we don't always need to take off our shoes.

 

My house is clean and neat; by most people stardards we are VERY clean.

[swellmomma]

In my area I don't know anyone who does not take their shoes off as soon as they step in someone's door. Of course the fact that there is a pile of snow outside for half the year certainly plays into that, no one is going to wear their snowboots inthe house. Only those with separate house shoes(like I have) wear them in the house. Most people I know also come prepared, with slippers or house shoes if they are the type of people to not like to go sock footed or barefooted in someone else's home. Maybe it is a regional thing, I know it was very very hard for me when I was doing flylady to put shoes on in the house, until I switched to flip flops, the idea of sneakers in the house drove me crazy.

[bumbledeb]

I wear my shoes around the house all the time. If it is muddy and a simple wiping on the mat won't do, I'd take my shoes off. I'd never ask a visitor to take their shoes off - it would be seen as quite insulting around here, among local people. The onus is on the visitor to clean their shoes or take them off if they (the visitor) feel it is necessary.

 

I have noticed that many of my English friends expect visitors to remove their shoes. It was quite disconcerting at first but we eventually got used to it and accept it as a regional custom where they come from.

[fivetails]

I'm starting to wonder if the people who've said they'd find it rude, or that they wouldn't visit someone who expected this, just don't have bad weather where they live.....I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots! :001_huh:

 

Most people don't go in the snow. They go from car to house, going from garage or walking on driveways or walkways. They wipe their shoes and if their shoes/boots are bad they are SMART enough to know to take them off.

 

We go directly from garage to house. We do have an area immediately inside the garage to take off our shoes if needed but visitors never see this area and we don't always need to take off our shoes.

 

My house is clean and neat; by most people stardards we are VERY clean.

 

Everywhere is different, and every family is different. :)

 

Our rule in our house ~ right now ~ is that outdoor footwear is to be removed at the door, baring any emergency reason or the like.

 

I'm not sure why this causes such a ruckus - look how long this thread is...we all make the rules in our own homes and have our own reasons for doing so. It's not really a big deal. :001_smile:

[classics4us]

...17 pages... oh my, who would have thought that wearing shoes or not wearing shoes in the house would have attracted this much attention lol!

:lurk5::lol:

[fivetails]

...17 pages... oh my, who would have thought that wearing shoes or not wearing shoes in the house would have attracted this much attention lol!

:lurk5::lol:

 

You'd think the thread was about the wearing of speedos, not shoes eh? :biggrinjester:

[classics4us]

Speedos! Wahoo, now thats a subject worthy of 17 pages, can we add pics? :D :drool:

 

 

 

 

You'd think the thread was about the wearing of speedos, not shoes eh? :biggrinjester:

[Peek a Boo]

I don't see what's so wrong with having rules or standards for our homes...I wouldn't let someone light up a cig indoors either, no matter how comfy they'd feel. There are rules in this house ~~ just like there are in many, many places. My house, your house, the mall, the playground, workplace...everywhere has rules, standards, etc...what's wrong with having them in our home?

 

I agree. That's why my dad doesn't visit us much either. We go to visit HIM.

It IS ok to have these standards and rules, as long as one realizes there are some people that WON't be visiting them because of that. For most things, that doesn't bother me. Some people won't let their kids visit because we have guns in the home or alcohol on the shelf. The wearing of shoes or keeping/displaying of personal items only becomes a big deal if having people over to your house IS a big deal. The OP seems to feel it IS in this circumstance.

 

when we had a co-op in my house [both in TX and in Syracuse], my only rule was KIDS couldn't bring food/drink in the livingroom on the carpet/rug. The kids ate either outside, along the wall in the hall, or standing around the table during lunch. Did I know that would make some people uncomfortable? yeah. But people seemed to be more interested in a free co-op than having their kids sit on the floor. Some adults still spilled stuff, and we all kept our shoes on. ;)

 

We wore snow boots through the house in Syracuse All. The. Time.

I can't even imagine having to take them off, put them on, take them off, put them on literally 10-15 times a day w/ a buncha kids coming in and out of playing in the snow. We had hardwood floors that I HATED and put area rugs all over and mats /scrapers outside.

 

I'm in the camp that really doesn't see why bringing "outside dirt inside" is a big deal. We sweep, we mop, we vacuum specifically BECAUSE it, well, gets dirty. Nobody in my house is licking their food off the floor. 'cept the dog sometimes..... If I'm intentionally inviting lots of people over, then it is reasonable to expect more wear and tear on EVERYTHING in my house. Plumbing ain't cheap either ;)

 

I do think it is wise to limit who you have in your house if you have allergy, medical, or other issues that are going to catch someone off guard. And if you are in America and reading this thread, you now KNOW that it is NOT cultural to remove your shoes. since i found out quickly in certain places up north it is expected to remove your shoes, then it is up to me to call ahead and find out-because now i KNOW. I wanna be forewarned so I can abstain if i want. Welcome to America-- the Melting Pot of LOTS of different cultures :D

 

speedos?! NO!!!

[OnTheBrink]

Everywhere is different, and every family is different. :)

 

Our rule in our house ~ right now ~ is that outdoor footwear is to be removed at the door, baring any emergency reason or the like.

 

I'm not sure why this causes such a ruckus - look how long this thread is...we all make the rules in our own homes and have our own reasons for doing so. It's not really a big deal. :001_smile:

 

No kidding. I'm chuckling at the idea that this concept is SO OFFENSIVE to some people. I mean, seriously. Comparing taking shoes off to being naked? I can understand medical conditions, but to get this wound up over being asked to wear slippers or go in stocking feet, to me, is just silly.

[Barb_]

No kidding. I'm chuckling at the idea that this concept is SO OFFENSIVE to some people. I mean, seriously. Comparing taking shoes off to being naked? I can understand medical conditions, but to get this wound up over being asked to wear slippers or go in stocking feet, to me, is just silly.

 

Because it's weird and icky, and too personal, and a violation of my personal space. A good friend who asked me nicely? No problem. An acquaintance or business relationship? Weird. If it doesn't bother you, then it would be hard to understand the reaction. My daughter was going to take piano lessons from a lady in town. I liked her teaching style, and she was reasonably priced. But she made me kick off my shoes at the door which freaked me out. We won't be going back.

 

Barb

[Veritaserum]

One person's weird and icky is another person's normal. Most people around here think NOT removing one's shoes is weird and very, very icky. Who know what disgusting germs are lurking on the soles of shoes, ready to be smeared over carpet. *shudder*

 

It is still truly astounding how this has escalated into our very own Butter Battle....

[MIch elle]

One person's weird and icky is another person's normal. Most people around here think NOT removing one's shoes is weird and very, very icky. Who know what disgusting germs are lurking on the soles of shoes, ready to be smeared over carpet. *shudder*

 

It is still truly astounding how this has escalated into our very own Butter Battle....

 

:tongue_smilie:

[Barb_]

:tongue_smilie:

 

Yeah, not everyone's feet are clean, y'know! My kids go barefoot all the time at home and don't own a pair of matching socks. Their shoes are cleaner than their feet.

[Barb_]

One person's weird and icky is another person's normal. Most people around here think NOT removing one's shoes is weird and very, very icky.

 

I don't know if you caught it, but I meant psychologically icky. Like a no t-shirts in the pool rule for people who aren't comfortable in the most modest one-piece. If feet don't bother you, then you wouldn't get it and it would seem silly, when in reality it's not silly at all to those affected. Get it?

 

Barb

[MIch elle]

Everywhere is different, and every family is different. :)

 

Our rule in our house ~ right now ~ is that outdoor footwear is to be removed at the door, baring any emergency reason or the like.

 

I'm not sure why this causes such a ruckus - look how long this thread is...we all make the rules in our own homes and have our own reasons for doing so. It's not really a big deal. :001_smile:

 

That's right, it's your house you make the rules - no argument there but that wasn't what you asked. :D

[Audrey]

as long as one realizes there are some people that WON't be visiting them because of that.

 

 

You keep bringing that up like it's a bad thing, Peek. ;)

 

It's got me thinking that I need to make up a bunch of "rules" for coming in my house. There is WAY too much traffic here, and frankly, I don't have the time nor the inclination to be Miss Susie Socialite.

[Peek a Boo]

No kidding. I'm chuckling at the idea that this concept is SO OFFENSIVE to some people. I mean, seriously. Comparing taking shoes off to being naked? I can understand medical conditions, but to get this wound up over being asked to wear slippers or go in stocking feet, to me, is just silly.

 

and we're wondering how it can be SO OFFENSIVE to keep shoes on that we wear everywhere else :D If shoes are just a silly thing, then why is each side taking it so seriously? I find it silly to insist on taking shoes OFF. :tongue_smilie:

 

The question is not whether it is ok to have such a rule in your own house, but where do we each draw the line when our ideas of weird and icky and silly collide? I choose as a guest to go elsewhere or abstain, and as a host i must decide whether to choose my rules over another guest's presence.

 

You've got germs and nasty issues whether people keep shoes on or take them off. I don't usually wear shoes at home --i run around even outside in just socks or barefeet. Even if i wasn't outside w/ stockinged feet and just inside my own home, since I don't HAVE the no shoes inside rule then my socks are going to be just as dirty as my shoes supposedly are cuz they've picked up everything that shoes have brought in. Ditto w/ the kids. So you asking me to take my shoes off probably isn't accomplishing what you think it is germ/ pesticide-wise.

 

And honestly, wearing slippers provided by the host that probably had someone else's feet in them at one time isn't appealing.

 

It looks like each side is getting pretty wound up and adamant about it ;)

[Peek a Boo]

You keep bringing that up like it's a bad thing, Peek. ;)

 

It's got me thinking that I need to make up a bunch of "rules" for coming in my house. There is WAY too much traffic here, and frankly, I don't have the time nor the inclination to be Miss Susie Socialite.

 

 

oh, don't assume I bring it up cuz i think it's a bad thing ;)

 

But since some people do, and the OP was specifically about WANTING people to come over for a specific purpose, then i figger it bears mentioning ;D

[Blessedfamily]

Mrs. Bucket(my hero in my avatar) makes EVERYONE remove their shoes before entering her home.:001_smile:

 

We don't like allergens, etc. tracked in the house, especially with my dd's allergies. We never wear shoes indoors.

 

I don't have to ask people to remove shoes. Usually, when guests see our shoes on the stand by the door and how white the carpet is, they take them off voluntarily.(We're working on getting wood floors; much better for allergies)

 

Would I ask someone else to take their shoes off? If it's someone who comes over frequently, that would be a family member or very close friend. I would ask, especially if this person will be all over the house, like upstairs in the bedrooms.

 

If it's an occasional guest, I wouldn't ask. My goal is to keep allergens, etc. to a minimum. I figure most stuff would be tracked in by us going in and out all day. We take our shoes off, so that keeps it down to a minimum. I can't keep 100% out.

 

That's just how we do it. Obviuosly, (18 pages???) people differ.:001_smile:

 

ETA- Also, some people's feet are more of a risk than shoes. (Like warts)

Edited February 9, 2009 by Blessedfamily

[Brenda in FL]

If it's a safety issue - I would forewarn those attending ahead of time that you will be requesting that they remove their shoes. I'd also give them an option to bring their own "inside" shoes.

 

If it's not a safety issue - I would roll up the wool area carpet and put it away during the meeting and buy some spot carpet cleaner for any spots that may happen on the stairs. I would have no problem asking children to remove their shoes - but if it were not for safety, I don't think I'd ask adults to remove their shoes. (In other words - I'd accept that dirt happens, but the relationships and lives touched will be worth the cost!)

 

:grouphug: for taking care of your mother - I'm sure that this must be a challenging time for you - but what a gift of love.

Edited February 9, 2009 by Brenda in FL

[OnTheBrink]

and we're wondering how it can be SO OFFENSIVE to keep shoes on that we wear everywhere else :D If shoes are just a silly thing, then why is each side taking it so seriously? I find it silly to insist on taking shoes OFF. :tongue_smilie:

 

The question is not whether it is ok to have such a rule in your own house, but where do we each draw the line when our ideas of weird and icky and silly collide? I choose as a guest to go elsewhere or abstain, and as a host i must decide whether to choose my rules over another guest's presence.

 

You've got germs and nasty issues whether people keep shoes on or take them off. I don't usually wear shoes at home --i run around even outside in just socks or barefeet. Even if i wasn't outside w/ stockinged feet and just inside my own home, since I don't HAVE the no shoes inside rule then my socks are going to be just as dirty as my shoes supposedly are cuz they've picked up everything that shoes have brought in. Ditto w/ the kids. So you asking me to take my shoes off probably isn't accomplishing what you think it is germ/ pesticide-wise.

 

And honestly, wearing slippers provided by the host that probably had someone else's feet in them at one time isn't appealing.

 

It looks like each side is getting pretty wound up and adamant about it ;)

 

 

Meh. Personally, I don't care either way. I have laminate and tile floors, and a swiffer wet jet, so if you track in mud, I'll hand you the swiffer with a smile.

 

However, in the case of the OP, I put myself both in her place and in the place of being her guest. If I were caring for an ailing parent and needed folks to keep their shoes off, I'd have no problem asking them to do so, while offering unworn, disposable slippers or allowing the truly skeeved amnesty. If I were a guest, I'd have no problems taking off my shoes if it helps make her life a bit easier, given all she has on her plate right now.

 

So there. :tongue_smilie:

Edited February 9, 2009 by OnTheBrink
clarity

[Carol in Cal.]

I do think that it's rude to ask people to take their shoes off as a routine condition of entry.

 

But I always watch when I enter a house to see what the host's practice is. If they have a mat inside the front door and a few pair of shoes on it, and they are wearing socks and no shoes, I gamely go along with them and take mine off, and direct my DD to do so as well.

 

If they have a mat inside the front door and a few pair of shoes on it but they are wearing shoes themselves, I figure that the mat is for wet shoes but that dry shoes are welcome in the house, and behave accordingly.

 

If they have no mat, I make sure that my shoes are dry and wear them inside.

 

I am more comfortable with my shoes on, but I don't mind taking them off for a casual visit. I hate taking them off when I'm all dressed up for a party, though. It ruins the outfit.

 

So if I wanted people to take their shoes off, I would set my house up to encourage them to do so. I would have a large mat or tray inside the front door to receive shoes, with a shelf over it. On the shelf I would have a few of those overall shoes for people who must keep their sneakers on, and some obviously brand new slippers or scuffs for people to borrow. There would be a chair next to this and there would be a couple pair of shoes already on teh mat. I would welcome them at the door wearing socks but no shoes, and ask if I could take their coats and purses, and say, "Please, come in, and make yourselves at home. We are all gathering in the living room. (point it out if necessary) I'll be right with you." Then I would scamper off to put their coats in the bedroom, giving them another chance to notice my socks. Chances are, if they can, they will sit down quickly and take their shoes off. But if they don't, I would not in any way indicate that they have not fulfilled my preference, because that would be rude.

[mommaduck]

Like the above poster, we always watched what others did. I was raised military and half the wives were of asian/pacific descent...you were rude if you didn't know that you were supposed to take your shoes off! Here, I would love for people to take their shoes off, but since most of my company is old fashioned PA Dutch/Swiss (aka, anabaptists) you can't really ask that of them and they typically aren't here long enough to worry about it (and honestly, if they didn't call ahead of time, I really would rather cut their stay short).

[Mekanamom]

No, I do not believe it is rude to ask/expect others to take off their shoes.

 

I, personally, don't care... most people ask ME if it's ok to either take their shoes off or leave them on, and I totally leave it up to them.

 

But when I lived in Hawaii, everyone just took their shoes off. Cultural thing. It was considered oafish/rude to leave them on.

[unsinkable]

You know what really bothers me?????

 

You people who think there more pages on this topic than there really are.

 

There are now 6 full pages with a couple posts on page 7.

 

Set your preferences to 30 posts per page.

 

Sheesh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D

:lol:

[OnTheBrink]

You know what really bothers me?????

 

You people who think there more pages on this topic than there really are.

 

There are now 6 full pages with a couple posts on page 7.

 

Set your preferences to 30 posts per page.

 

Sheesh.

 

 

:D

:lol:

 

Set it to 50 posts per page and the thread is only on page 4. :D

[KidsHappen]

It would bother me a lot for many reasons. First, I hate, we're talking l-o-a-t-h-e hate;), walking on crumbs or any other floor debris. *shudder* I am a neat freak who vacuums and sweeps everday.

 

Second, I have major feet issues. I don't let my feet touch rugs in stores when trying on clothing, so letting them touch the carpeting of a stranger, where other strangers feet are going to be, is not going to happen either. I am still trying to convince my hubby to get bunkbeds in case his feet accidentally wander to my side of the bed and touch me whilst I sleep.:D

 

I wear shoes in my own home and I don't ever ask anyone to take their shoes off here. Now, that being said. If I had the shoe removal foreknowledge, I would bring my own slippers.

 

:lol: about the bunkbeds!

[Blessedfamily]

You know what really bothers me?????

 

You people who think there more pages on this topic than there really are.

 

There are now 6 full pages with a couple posts on page 7.

 

Set your preferences to 30 posts per page.

 

Sheesh.

 

 

 

:D

:lol:

 

Set it to 50 posts per page and the thread is only on page 4. :D

 

:D

 

No matter how you set it, it'd still be 184 posts (185 after this) and the longest thread goin' right now. :blink::svengo:

[KidsHappen]

Set it to 50 posts per page and the thread is only on page 4. :D

 

Yep. :)

[KidsHappen]

Wow! This thread is fascinating. I never really gave this subject much thought. When I was growing up, it was unheard of for people to remove their shoes unless they lived in FL or TX in which case they weren't wearing any (at least in my social circles. :tongue_smilie:). Then somewhere along the line service people started either removing their shoes or wearing the slip-on covers when they came inside. Then other people started removing their shoes when they came in. Now everyone here does it. I usually have a neighborhood full of kids in my house and I always have a pile of shoes by the front door. It's how I know who is here. :) And I can't really recall visiting any houses in the last six or seven years where it was not the norm to remove your shoes at the front door. I have never asked a person to remove their shoes in my home and I really don't care one way or the other. But I do prefer hard flooring surfaces because they are so much easier to clean. The only time that I have had carpet in the last ten years was in the rental we moved out of a eighteen months ago and I had to pay to recarpet entire house (normal wear and tear from simply walking on the carpet - no stains, rips tears or pet damage) so I can understand the concern.

[Andie]

:001_smile: http://www.signals.com/signals/Home-Garden_1EA/View-All-Home-Garden_1EB/Item_Remove-Thy-Shoes-Sign_HA5092_ps_ctf-1EA.html

[classics4us]

You know what really bothers me?????

 

You people who think there more pages on this topic than there really are.

 

There are now 6 full pages with a couple posts on page 7.

 

Set your preferences to 30 posts per page.

 

Sheesh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D

:lol:

 

I'm not sure why you care what my or anyone elses preferences are set to.:confused:

Though it doesn't really matter because no matter how you divide it up,this thread has over 186 posts and thats a lot of talk about shoes and feet :smilielol5:

[Denisemomof4]

I feel for you, (((Denise))). Not only are you dealing with a lot at home, but you likely didn't realize how heated this particular debate can be. Yep. Every single time the shoes/no shoes issue is raised on these boards, it inevitably becomes a passionate topic.:tongue_smilie:

 

We're a Euro-influenced home and never wear our shoes inside. That fact is quite evident; I'm sure our carpets would look far worse for the wear if my five boys (and my dh and I!) trod all over with shoes on ~ especially as we live on a farm. Having said that, I never ask guests to remove their shoes. The reality in this country is that it isn't the norm across-the-board. Yes, it may be in some other countries, or in some regions of the States, or by some people who have lived in other parts of the world. But it's not *the* norm, as it is, say, in Asia. Even in Switzerland and Germany people don't ask guests to remove shoes (in my experience). Maintaining that habit yourselves is one thing; requiring it of others is quite another.

 

Some have said that it's your house and therefore you can make the rules. Of course you can! But as evidenced by your post, you're concerned about the comfort of your guests, too. Particularly because you don't have carpeting, I'd go ahead and not make an issue of this. Carpets are way, WAY harder to keep clean, imo.

 

I do ask, when I go to other people's homes, if they'd like me to remove my shoes. And many people ask that when they come to my home. But my preference is to remain shod in other homes, and I do believe that's what most people prefer. I certainly don't want to get dressed for a Christmas party, for example, and then slop around someone's house in a pair of slippers they have sitting by the door. LOL I know that's not your situation; just using it as an example.

 

Any-hoo, I hope this long thread hasn't intimidated you. Best wishes!

 

now THAT was the most GRACIOUS reply I've ever seen, Colleen, and leaves me knowing that rolling up that darned wool rug is the ONLY solution! I can mop up the slop the rude people trod in later! :tongue_smilie:

[Jenn in Mo]

Though it doesn't really matter because no matter how you divide it up,this thread has over 186 posts and thats a lot of talk about shoes and feet :smilielol5:

 

Yes, and if anyone coming into this knew our history, they'd have to wonder.....are shoes a code word for.....something else???

 

wink wink

nudge nudge

Edited February 10, 2009 by Jenn in Mo

[unsinkable]

I'm not sure why you care what my or anyone elses preferences are set to.:confused:

Though it doesn't really matter because no matter how you divide it up,this thread has over 186 posts and thats a lot of talk about shoes and feet :smilielol5:

 

I really don't care. That's why I put the :D & :lol: smilies.

 

:D

[Peek a Boo]

Meh. Personally, I don't care either way. I have laminate and tile floors, and a swiffer wet jet, so if you track in mud, I'll hand you the swiffer with a smile.

 

However, in the case of the OP, I put myself both in her place and in the place of being her guest. If I were caring for an ailing parent and needed folks to keep their shoes off, I'd have no problem asking them to do so, while offering unworn, disposable slippers or allowing the truly skeeved amnesty. If I were a guest, I'd have no problems taking off my shoes if it helps make her life a bit easier, given all she has on her plate right now.

 

So there. :tongue_smilie:

 

yeah-- but in the interest of not adding to her workload, i'd offer to host the thing myself or just stay outta the way. ;)

 

But I am glad to see that Colleen's truly gracious reply explained things in a way she could understand. I hope she puts out a call for help afterwards to clean up/sweep/mop [sign up sheet!], and that her situation is as peaceful as possible.

 

{{and i go by post numbers too :) }}

[Julie in CA]

I can mop up the slop the rude people trod in later! :tongue_smilie:

Oh puh-lease...a reasonable percentage of people who've responded to your post view what you intended to do as rude. Even if you're kinda joking by using the words here, please don't have people over if you're already overworked, overburdened, and are going to greet them with a smile and then privately consider them *rude* for not taking off their shoes! Perhaps it's a season of life thing, and at this point hosting groups like this is just too much. I'm sure that people would understand if the gathering had to happen somewhere else, there's always another way. Is there a restaurant that has a back room, where everyone could meet over a cup of coffee, not have to take anything off, and you wouldn't feel put-upon to clean up afterwards? Your life sounds pretty full right now.

 

ETA: I just wanted to add here, after reading my post, that I realize it may come across as not-so-subtle. I think what's setting me off here is that it's obvious from reading your very first post that you have already decided you're right about the issue, and then you've pretty much stuck by that the whole time. I often wonder why people post things like that, and then are surprised when some people really answer honestly to the contrary. If you never really intended to consider the other side, it would have been better to post it as a "venting" post, rather than making it sound as if you really wanted to know how people felt about taking off their shoes in other people's homes.

Edited February 10, 2009 by Julie in CA

[Peek a Boo]

.... please don't have people over if you're already overworked, overburdened, and are going to greet them with a smile and then privately consider them *rude* for not taking off their shoes! Perhaps it's a season of life thing, and at this point hosting groups like this is just too much. .

 

Sitting on the not-so-subtle bench w/ Julie.

 

I can appreciate the effort being made to provide for family, but those stresses don't excuse us from polite behavior, and in this case, can lead to a deeper problem hindering True Fellowship w/ your Christian community. been There, Done That: waiting for a better opportunity is better than hastening one that will burn bridges. Do it joyfully or let someone else do it joyfully ;)

[Tree House Academy]

Hehe...I really enjoy reading all these super long heated posts. It is just AMAZING to me what people on here can find to disagree about.

 

Sorry, just have to add to the post count. Continue as you were...

[texascamps]

In Texas and other southern states where I spent time. NO ONE ever took their shoes off in someones house. I remember a friend got new carpet and had a sign at her door requesting shoes be removed. Folks thought that was very rude! However, after moving to mountain states, I discovered that everyone removes their shoes upon entering a home. We thought this was an odd thing. You open the door and they start stripping right there! Of course, we are indoctrinated and we always take our shoes off at the door f any home we enter. Going back down south, I remember a SIL asking me why we all take our shoes off at the door, "Is that a Mormon thing?"

 

 

My guess is that the shoe thing is very cultural. I don't know a lot of older Texas women or men that would feel comfortable removing shoes in someone's house.....but you may not need to worry about a bunch of Texans.

 

Have you thought about purchasing that plastic wrap stuff that lightly sticks to carpet. Its transparent and very thin. Then, maybe request shoes be removed. If they just "can't" for cultural, or hygiene reasons, then its not that bad. Here, surgical booties are often provided in a decorative basket at the door to go over shoes, in homes that are for sale.

 

 

I think you should try not to stress to much over it. I can't imagine who would ever remember your shoe policy.:)

[tibbyl]

... ETA: ... I think what's setting me off here is that it's obvious from reading your very first post that you have already decided you're right about the issue, and then you've pretty much stuck by that the whole time. I often wonder why people post things like that, and then are surprised when some people really answer honestly to the contrary. If you never really intended to consider the other side, it would have been better to post it as a "venting" post, rather than making it sound as if you really wanted to know how people felt about taking off their shoes in other people's homes.

 

Ditto.

 

I have always had trouble reading social situations and often find myself confused about whether a person wants sympathy, validation, or a truly honest opinion.

 

I also wonder why people bring up controversial issues under guise of a question that they could have easily googled for themselves and add the qualifier that they are not looking for a debate. This comment does not pertain to the shoe saga. I am as surprised as anyone about the length of the shoe thread.

[Merry]

:)

[mommaduck]

The shoe thing IS cultural. And as a guest, I take the time to ask which the hostess prefers...shoes on or shoes off. If there is already a line of shoes in the foyer or shoe basket, then the answer is obvious....but I know not to ever presume. As a hostess, I pick my battles. I'm aware of the cultures walking through my door. I'm aware of the circumstances. I'm aware of how much or how little time my guest may be staying (or how long or little I want them to stay) and either keep silent or phrase my request based on those factors. If they end up staying with shoes on...well, I have 7 children already, it's the same floor, and it will get mopped or vacuumed anyhow.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Joining the bench . . . with my shoes on. ;)

[Brindee]

This is interesting. I read the first page and the last 2 pages--what a difference! Everyone started out saying it's not rude and not a problem, in fact, it's smart! These last two pages have been saying how it IS rude to others, and that this message shouldn't have been started in the first place! Not sure what transpired in all these posts to make the changes! ;)

 

It's done all the time where we live in Washington State. 99 out of 100 people who come in my house take their shoes off as soon as they're inside the door. I never ask people to take shoes off, they just do. Shoes CAN be hard on carpets, especially if it's raining or wet outside! Who wants mud and/or dirt tracked around inside by 30 or 40 people? It rains a lot here, so maybe that's why it's become a thing everyone does. They respect the home of the other person enough to do there part to keep it clean and freer from wear, I guess.......so it seems like a legitimate concern to me!

 

There, I've done my part to add to the post count! :D

[Katrina]

Imagine being a shoe off at the door type of person (me) being married to a shoes on in the house type of person (dh). Let's just say after 14 years of marriage, dh has learned to use the steam cleaner quite well. :lol:

 

I can understand if people don't care if people wear shoes in their own houses or not, but I think to get so upset to be asked to remove their shoes at someone elses house seems like a lot of wasted emotion to me. (Just coming from someone who really doesn't care one way or the other.)

[newbie]

We had an event happen over the wknd., relating to shoes. It was pouring here MOnday and I scheduled a Internet guy to come on that day on the previous Friday, he knew it was going to rain. I asked him to come other days he said No.

 

We have a no shoes rule, but I didnt want him dragging mud through house upstairs. Internet is upstairs and on roof, so I made him go on ladder through balcony, plus I had plastic down on carpet upstairs. In case muddy. Well he got all tiffy on Monday because he couldnt walk through house.

 

Big whopping deal. My house, my rules, take em or leave em. I am a no shoes gal and not changing anytime soon.