S/O Covid and college campuses, especially for high school class of 2020 JAWM

[TexasProud]

https://www.atlantanewsfirst.com/2023/08/22/morris-brown-college-reinstates-mask-mandate-due-rise-on-campus-covid-cases/

 

I have such mixed feelings about this.  My daughter and I were talking right before she left. She is a musical theater major. She feels so cheated for her college experience.  Her freshman year, they wore masks everywhere, couldn't visit people in the dorms, cancelled all activities, etc.  They didn't do musicals but did film some stuff for online.  The choir practiced and sang in masks in a spread out auditorium or outside.  She didn't get any of the fun freshman activities. 

Her sophomore year the first semester was still pretty locked down.  In the spring they began to do musicals again, though smaller ones like.

So really it was last year, her junior year that they finally had a more normal year.  And this year is set to be totally normal, with bigger musicals like Into the Woods.  She has a major role in the first and a lead role in the one near Thanksgiving. She hasn't tried out for the spring ones yet. 

I really, really, really do not want them locking down again. Her senior year of high school stunk. Her Christian school closed the summer before her senior year and then the world shut down in March.  I want her senior year of college to be spectacular. 

I want her to have a normal college experience with dances and fun friend get-togethers ( not having to sneak into a friend's dorm room) and being able to eat in the cafeteria together.  

I know. I know. Long Covid is no joke. I know that. But I am so sad for her and praying that it somehow skips them, so they can be normal. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by TexasProud

[Heartstrings]

Mask mandates aren’t the same thing as a lock down. 
 

Is this the reason for all the “next time I won’t comply” posts I keep seeing on Facebook?    

Edited August 23, 2023 by Heartstrings

[TexasProud]

Please remember this is a JAWM thread.  I know it isn't the same, but even masks are just not good for doing choir and musicals.  And I worry about it going into a more lockdown phase.  Her college has been very cautious...

[Heartstrings]

6 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Please remember this is a JAWM thread.  I know it isn't the same, but even masks are just not good for doing choir and musicals.  And I worry about it going into a more lockdown phase.  Her college has been very cautious...

Apologies, I missed the JAWM part.   

[Murphy101]

Covid mandates totally f-ed over my daughter’s entire college experience.  It was awful.  If we could get a do-over for that 3 years, she’d have not gone to college at all during that time. Stupid useless hindsight.

ETA. Maybe I should not say it as strongly as I did hit seriously it sucked. There was not one good thing about that experience for her other than she survived it. It was extremely difficult to make and keep friends, it was depressing and exhausting and frustrating every single day and that took a toll. And we all still got covid. Heck. I’ve had it three times now even though all of us are vaccinated.

Covid sucks.

But yeah, it sucks to be in a college dorm during outbreaks too. That’s real too. (Hugs)

Edited August 23, 2023 by Murphy101

[TexasProud]

5 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

Apologies, I missed the JAWM part.   

No problem.  I just want a it really, really stinks for her and all the other 2020 high school grads or heck college grads.  Not a debate. 

[SKL]

Yeah ... not the same, but my kids were supposed to graduate from 8th in 2020 (K-8th school) and now this is their senior year in high school.

Last time it started with "just 3 weeks to slow the spread" and we know how that went.

I am in an in-between state as far as attitudes about Covid safety, I think.  I honestly hope my kids' school district does not do anything they don't absolutely have to do.  Ultimately practically everyone got Covid regardless of all the precautions.  Everyone has had the chance to get vaccinated or figure out a plan if they can't get vaccinated.

[marbel]

Yep, my kids were juniors in college, in their first year at their transfer schools (having gone to community college for their first two years) when they got sent home at spring break. The next year and a half were terrible for them. So many lost opportunities: internships, study abroad. And for my studio art major (printmaking), everything was so complicated and extra difficult. 

So yes, I agree with you. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by marbel

[TexasProud]

9 minutes ago, marbel said:

Yep, my kids were juniors in college, in their first year at their transfer schools (having gone to community college for their first two years) when they got sent home at spring break. The next year and a half were terrible for them. So many lost opportunities: internships, study abroad. And for my studio art major (printmaking), everything was so complicated and extra difficult. 

So yes, I agree with you. 

So sorry..

[Heartstrings]

I truly don’t think lock downs are coming again.  I’m pretty sure we proved that we’re bad at doing them and thus they won’t work.   We have vaccines and natural immunity now too.  No one has the stomach to try it again, not while we’re still recovering from the last time. I could be wrong but I just sincerely doubt it.  

[freesia]

I don’t think lock downs are coming bc it’s not the same as a novel unknown virus where we have no immunity. Masking and shutting down are worlds apart. Maybe bc I used to live in a place that masked well after lock downs were over and masks come back when numbers are up, that I don’t equate them. 
 

I am also sad about what my kids lost out on. It’s been a sad time. 

[TexasProud]

53 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Covid mandates totally f-ed over my daughter’s entire college experience.  It was awful.  If we could get a do-over for that 3 years, she’d have not gone to college at all during that time. Stupid useless hindsight.

ETA. Maybe I should not say it as strongly as I did hit seriously it sucked. There was not one good thing about that experience for her other than she survived it. It was extremely difficult to make and keep friends, it was depressing and exhausting and frustrating every single day and that took a toll. And we all still got covid. Heck. I’ve had it three times now even though all of us are vaccinated.

Covid sucks.

But yeah, it sucks to be in a college dorm during outbreaks too. That’s real too. (Hugs)

I know and I did have friends that kept their kids at home during that first year.  But she had been homeschooled (other than the 3 years at private high school) and to me, college is the time to learn all of those skills to be independent in a safe environment, especially since she went so far away from us. 

Sorry your daughter had such a crappy experience. 

[TheReader]

No debate here. It sucked, it will suck again if they make them do it again. We are still picking up the pieces from what Covid/lockdowns/mandates/etc did to people in our family. Not from the disease itself (no long covid here) but the anxiety, depression, horrible college grades b/c of everything online (for a learner who does not do well learning online), etc. 

I hope your daughter gets to fully participate in her senior year musicals and her senior year in general. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

Totally agree.  DD was in college for covid lockdown.  Thank the Lord she lived at home with us so she had some people interaction.  As it was, it was really really tough.  Ditto on the friendship difficulty.  Her school wouldn't let any clubs or intramural sports meet either, except for religious ones because it's Texas and that's how they roll.  Her junior and senior year were so much better because the lockdowns ended and most got vaccinated.  Best wishes for your dd!  

[athena1277]

My dd is a college junior.  She would be leading the protests if they tried that at her school.  She’s still angry about all the things she didn’t get to do because of Covid.

Didn’t they finally say that cloth masks were worthless and surgical masks not much better?  So what’s the point of a mask mandate unless they are using N95 masks?

[livetoread]

Yep, covid ruined both of my kids' college experience in many ways. I feel very sorry for them, and for us that we paid the same amount of money for worse than mediocre classes. They could have chosen to drop out, and youngest ended up with very limited credit hours, but they already had friends and didn't want to come home. I just tell myself it could have been worse, but it really, really sucked.

[Heartstrings]

5 minutes ago, athena1277 said:

My dd is a college junior.  She would be leading the protests if they tried that at her school.  She’s still angry about all the things she didn’t get to do because of Covid.

Didn’t they finally say that cloth masks were worthless and surgical masks not much better?  So what’s the point of a mask mandate unless they are using N95 masks?

It’s easy to get KN94s on Amazon now.  $20 gets you 50 or something.   There’s no reason not to get decent ones at this point. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by Heartstrings

[athena1277]

9 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

It’s easy to get KN94s on Amazon now.  $20 gets you 50 or something.   There’s no reason not to get decent ones at this point. 

But if that’s not the mandate, the mask order isn’t doing much.  And unless they are giving them to the students, most will buy the cheapest thing they can find, which may not be the better masks.

Edited August 23, 2023 by athena1277
Typo

[Heartstrings]

4 minutes ago, athena1277 said:

But if that’s not the mandate, the mask order isn’t doing muck.  And unless they are giving them to the students, most will buy the cheapest thing they can find, which may not be the better masks.

Which is a lesson I think every one learned.  If you mandate American to do something we will comply in the worst way possible. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by Heartstrings

[Bambam]

It is tough. I hope she can have a grand senior year!

One thought - my oldest was in college during 2020. When she graduated, there had been fewer research opportunities due to COVID restrictions, so a science group (sorry, can't remember which one!) was awarding grants for those COVID-impacted science majors so they could work a year, with pay, on a research project.  She was awarded one and had a great year just doing research - and a few things (misc science related things) around her campus. So maybe check to see if something like that exists for her field? 

[Hannah]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

It really, really stinks for her and all the other 2020 high school grads or heck college grads.  Not a debate. 

My elder Dd had this conversation just an hour ago. I am visiting the kids on campus. Younger is in her first year (sorry I still don't know what US term is) and elder in 5th year. They're having such a different experience and elder feels a bit cheated.

[Happy2BaMom]

31 minutes ago, athena1277 said:

 

Didn’t they finally say that cloth masks were worthless and surgical masks not much better?  So what’s the point of a mask mandate unless they are using N95 masks?

I'm *not* trying to derail this thread, but, while I'm not sure which 'they' you are referring to (perhaps the Cochrane study?), if you're interested, this summary / overview of mask research by Katelyn Jetalina is excellent and clarifying.

And, to address the OP's post, I really hope no more lockdowns happen. If we have another pandemic that necessitates that (it won't be Covid), I hope administrations would just the college down rather than try to keep them going. My oldest, just entering college now, does NOT learn well online. At. All. So, we would probably just withdraw him until things opened up again.

So, OP, I feel your pain.

Edited August 23, 2023 by Happy2BaMom

[Spryte]

I’m reading about a few businesses and schools requiring masks now, but nothing about locking down again.

What am I missing?

[Heartstrings]

13 minutes ago, Spryte said:

I’m reading about a few businesses and schools requiring masks now, but nothing about locking down again.

What am I missing?

Fear and anger.   Masks lead to lockdowns, so no masks.  

Edited August 23, 2023 by Heartstrings

[Penelope]

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Edited August 23, 2023 by Penelope

[Penelope]

41 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

 

Edited August 23, 2023 by Penelope

[itsheresomewhere]

1 hour ago, TheReader said:

No debate here. It sucked, it will suck again if they make them do it again. We are still picking up the pieces from what Covid/lockdowns/mandates/etc did to people in our family. Not from the disease itself (no long covid here) but the anxiety, depression, horrible college grades b/c of everything online (for a learner who does not do well learning online), etc. 

I hope your daughter gets to fully participate in her senior year musicals and her senior year in general. 

The damage this has done to so many families is seriously underestimated and not talked about. Add to it the lack of mental health care in this country is going to really be at the front in the next few years.  

[lewelma]

We are in NZ, so covid was delayed here (Elimination strategy was successful for 2020 and 2021). My younger ds started university in February of 2022 (southern hemisphere calendar). 90% of the country was vaccinated when they finally released the Aucklanders 3 days before all the universities started up for the February Term.  No one here was wearing masks because there had been no covid.

In the first week 1 of school starting, 18 out of 20 people on my ds's hall got covid on the same day.  90% of his dorm got it that week. The cafeteria closed down because there were no student workers and the chef got it. They had to outsource to a restaurant all the food for 2 weeks that was delivered to each kid's door because they were in isolation. His RA on his hall got it the worst, and all the RA's for the entire dorm got it that first week. All classes went virtual for 2 months. All clubs closed down. 

I'm sure masks would have slowed the spread, but with omicron in a dorm situation, basically everyone is going to get it. But having *everyone* sick at once was a big problem. 

 

 

Edited August 24, 2023 by lewelma

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, Penelope said:

 

I strongly disagree with you.  It WAS needed.

But again.  PLEASE DO NOT INSERT STUFF LIKE THIS ON EITHER SIDE.

The point of this thread is not to debate what was necessary and and what was not. You can do that on other threads. Go for it. Not here. 

The point of this JAWM thread is how much is sucks for our kids. Period. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by TexasProud

[TheReader]

13 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

The damage this has done to so many families is seriously underestimated and not talked about. Add to it the lack of mental health care in this country is going to really be at the front in the next few years.  

Yes. 

We are very very very fortunate that we live in an area where we *do* have great mental health practitioners, *and* that we have an insurance plan through DH's employer that includes mental health care coverage, so that each visit is just a copay, same as a doctor's visit. No limit. 

That hasn't always been the case, and I have no idea what we'd have done, or rather, how we'd have afforded the care the college kids have needed if not for that. Our privilege on that does not go unappreciated by me at all. I cannot imagine if we didn't have it. I cannot imagine what it's like for those who don't have that access. It's been a long, slow, claw your way back kind of thing here even *with* the care. 

[wintermom]

Yup. it wasn't a "normal" experience for most people world-wide, though it sounds like the OP's dd got a ton more options than my dd did up in Canada, where there were 2 years of only online classes only for most of her program. It took a toll on my dd, both mentally and academically. She failed a few courses (largely as online was not a good fit for her science lectures and labs) and had to retake them, she met very few people, and it lengthened her undergrad years - effectively eating up a couple "earning years" that she'll never get back.  She's not alone, though, and she will make it through alive and graduate at the end of this academic year. 

I think the only way to move forward is to accept that it was one of those historical periods in time that the people living through them "missed out" on a lot. Wars have done similar things in the past, and sadly all the youth in the Ukraine are living it now - on top of making it through COVID-19. It just sucks. 

[GoVanGogh]

My child graduated high school in May 2020. They were doing dual credit for all of their senior year so in person classes canceled at spring break. They moved to college that fall to a campus that was totally locked down. In hindsight, we probably should have kept them home. They did well academically, but the emotional toll was awful. They are only now coming out from under the weight of all of that. It didn’t help that I was diagnosed with a major neurological condition in February of 2020 and we, as a family, were dealing with that. 
OP, I feel your pain and I am so sorry. 

[Heartstrings]

I definitely have some things that I wish we had done differently for my 2020 grad with regard to college.  Specifically I wish we had advised him not to go, to do a COVID gap year.   College was a s%!t show for lack of a better way to describe it. 

[LinRTX]

I feel like my youngest is just now coming out of the Covid lockdown fog. She had some extra challenges. My oldest passed away at the end of her junior year of high school. They were 14 years apart but very close. Her senior year was awful; she isolated from everyone. She was finally starting to interact with people and do things at college (sophomore year) when Covid hit. Thankfully college was close so we could bring her home, but she shut down once again. After a year at work she is finally doing things with others again. Just a few weeks ago she told me her college experience was awful.

[SHP]

4 hours ago, TexasProud said:

https://www.atlantanewsfirst.com/2023/08/22/morris-brown-college-reinstates-mask-mandate-due-rise-on-campus-covid-cases/

 

I have such mixed feelings about this.  My daughter and I were talking right before she left. She is a musical theater major. She feels so cheated for her college experience.  Her freshman year, they wore masks everywhere, couldn't visit people in the dorms, cancelled all activities, etc.  They didn't do musicals but did film some stuff for online.  The choir practiced and sang in masks in a spread out auditorium or outside.  She didn't get any of the fun freshman activities. 

Her sophomore year the first semester was still pretty locked down.  In the spring they began to do musicals again, though smaller ones like.

So really it was last year, her junior year that they finally had a more normal year.  And this year is set to be totally normal, with bigger musicals like Into the Woods.  She has a major role in the first and a lead role in the one near Thanksgiving. She hasn't tried out for the spring ones yet. 

I really, really, really do not want them locking down again. Her senior year of high school stunk. Her Christian school closed the summer before her senior year and then the world shut down in March.  I want her senior year of college to be spectacular. 

I want her to have a normal college experience with dances and fun friend get-togethers ( not having to sneak into a friend's dorm room) and being able to eat in the cafeteria together.  

I know. I know. Long Covid is no joke. I know that. But I am so sad for her and praying that it somehow skips them, so they can be normal. 

Students involved in performing arts really struggled. I had one walk away from their passion because covid made it so much harder to do anything. They were involved with a large local organization that tried to move to online platform, they even taught themselves the technical aspect and ran the behind the scenes part for the organization. In the end they gave up. The organization doesn't seem to be recovering quickly now that they are back to in person. The attendance is way down and other participants are have stopped as well. 

I have to admit that I am very sad that with technology that is out there nothing seemed to take off online. 

[PronghornD]

My student was a freshman musician when everything shut down. Online choir was a joke. The next year, there was outdoor choir. Overall, the choir experience was a bust! I'm hoping the grad school choir experience will be better.

[lewelma]

1 hour ago, SHP said:

Students involved in performing arts really struggled.

My ds is definitely the exception. When MIT closed down, he was in the orchestra as a class that was fulfilling his arts requirement. Being a tech school, they switched the class to the physics of wave form of the music when they tried to do the mixing of all the different instruments played across the world. There were so many problems because of all the different types of environments, recording equipment, time delays, etc.  It became a different class, but still an excellent class nonetheless.

In addition, because the concertmaster and associate concertmaster dropped out, ds became the concertmaster for the MIT Symphony orchestra for the rest of the term, which was a real feather in his cap.

So just one small positive, in the otherwise miserable experience of university and covid for our kids. 

[Carrie12345]

I absolutely do agree that it all sucks.

My 2020 grad missed out on senior year stuff and then provided emergency response and  transports to Covid patients (or waited for the coroner for the dead ones), lost family members, got it twice, and her brother probably has long covid. She doesn’t want to repeat any of that, either.

Personally, I don’t know what sense it makes to wear masks at school when all of my medical practitioners are seeing patients all day and nobody (staff, doctors, patients) are masking.

[Halftime Hope]

It does suck.

The university I worked at during 2021-2023 did a fantastic job: caring for students, pivoting on a dime to all online classes immediately when COVID hit, contact tracing, providing for students while they were quarantined when sick, keeping confidentiality, and not mandating, rather educating and letting students make wise decisions for themselves.

That said, it was a really tough, lonely, difficult time, a hard time for students to make and keep friends....so many things couldn't be done at all until weather allowed for a pivot to outside, relatively protected activities. The first graduation during COVID was entirely online, and even though admin did a really great job making it different and finding ways online to celebrate the grads, it still wasn't the same.

I agree with a previous poster, it will be a seminal event in this generation's young adulthood, much like war is for anyone encountering that in their young adult years.