I need to find my passion.... what is yours?

[ProudGrandma]

So...I am sort of frustrated...maybe sad...but I feel like I am so boring.  My family all have hobbies...passions... things they like it like to do...talents... and I sort of feel like I don't. 

For example...my 3 kids and my husband play musical instruments and not only do I not,  I don't care to either.  I want to want to... and I guess it's more like I want to,  but I don't want to go through the learning stage now because I know I won't catch on quickly.

My kids all have strong interests...crafting and sewing, bowling and forging for examples.

My husband and my boys also like scotch, craft beer,  Cigars and pipes. They like sports. My husband also brews beer and the boys help with that too.

My daughter sews, is fantastic with small children, and likes to hike with her husband. She is also musical. She loves her fish and collects sea horses things with the dream of some day owning a real one. 

And I feel like I have nothing.  So when it comes time to do things with the kids, share an interest, or answering their question of what to get us for our birthday or Christmas... they find it easy to answer that for each other and their dad... but not so for much me. 

I just feel like the odd ball.  Maybe it's just me and I need to snap out of it.  

I just wish I had a hobby or a passion or a talent. 

I have tried knitting and gardening, but that didn't seem to make me happy. 

I don't like to read either and cooking and baking is only out of the need to eat. 

We also don't live in a place where I can easily take classes or lessons...every place is about an hour from us...or further. 

The only thing I can think of that really makes me happy is organizing things.  But that's not a hobby or a thing people can use for gift ideas.  

I just feel like a boring old woman... even though I am only 53 years old. 

How can I discover a passion or a hobby? Please help me out of my rut...or am I just  hopeless? 

Thanks!

[marbel]

I wonder if you are out of practice, from years of tending to everyone else and supporting their passions, so now you feel like there's nothing for you. 

YouTube is full of lessons and tutorials on all sorts of things, and just about anything you'd need could be ordered and delivered.

Think of anything you might be interested in, and look it up. See what rabbit trails might lead you to something you want to do. 

 

[WildflowerMom]

You might be my twin, even down to the organizing.    I’ll be listening in and hoping you get some ideas!  

[Amethyst]

How do you feel about bicycling? Or walking? Or hiking? 

[ProudGrandma]

5 minutes ago, marbel said:

I wonder if you are out of practice, from years of tending to everyone else and supporting their passions, so now you feel like there's nothing for you. 

YouTube is full of lessons and tutorials on all sorts of things, and just about anything you'd need could be ordered and delivered.

Think of anything you might be interested in, and look it up. See what rabbit trails might lead you to something you want to do. 

 

The problem is I don't even know where to begin looking.  

[ProudGrandma]

5 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said:

You might be my twin, even down to the organizing.    I’ll be listening in and hoping you get some ideas!  

At least I am not alone.  Thanks. 

[Rosie_0801]

If you had money to donate to something, what would it be?

[ProudGrandma]

2 minutes ago, Amethyst said:

How do you feel about bicycling? Or walking? Or hiking? 

I do walk with my husband daily.  Hiking if we are someplace where that is an option...I have a bike.. but not a passion. 

[Katy]

Organizing IS a passion, and one that's very helpful to others.  And no gift ideas?  Oh, my friend, let me introduce you to the Container Store.  It's an organizer's fantasy.  Spend some time on Instagram and follow all the organizers.  Check out their collections.  Check and see if Ikea and Walmart have knockoffs before you commit, but man is that store gratifying. And if that gets boring, check out GoCleanCo on Instagram.  Yes, she shills Amazon & a products from a certain company a lot.  But she'll teach you cool things, like how great a bit of powdered tide in hot water with a couple spoonfuls of bleach is at cleaning a bathroom, even under blacklight.  And how to deep clean almost anything you've never thought of before.  Which usually involves hot water, a degreaser, and a scrub brush.

Do you have any idea how many people could use help decluttering and organizing?  We all have too much stuff. You could start a company or a charity and help a lot of people.

[ProudGrandma]

Just now, Rosie_0801 said:

If you had money to donate to something, what would it be?

Good question.  Prolife causes are important to me. 

[Katy]

Oh, what did you dream about doing when you were a kid?  And how did you think those things would make you feel?  Because you might have ruled them out for good reason, but that feeling you thought it would give you is a direction.  What else in your life might give you those feelings?

[ProudGrandma]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Organizing IS a passion, and one that's very helpful to others.  And no gift ideas?  Oh, my friend, let me introduce you to the Container Store.  It's an organizer's fantasy.  Spend some time on Instagram and follow all the organizers.  Check out their collections.  Check and see if Ikea and Walmart have knockoffs before you commit, but man is that store gratifying. And if that gets boring, check out GoCleanCo on Instagram.  Yes, she shills Amazon & a products from a certain company a lot.  But she'll teach you cool things, like how great a bit of powdered tide in hot water with a couple spoonfuls of bleach is at cleaning a bathroom, even under blacklight.  And how to deep clean almost anything you've never thought of before.  Which usually involves hot water, a degreaser, and a scrub brush.

Do you have any idea how many people could use help decluttering and organizing?  We all have too much stuff. You could start a company or a charity and help a lot of people.

Thank you for this...I will check these all out.  I really appreciate your response.

[Katy]

1 minute ago, kfeusse said:

Good question.  Prolife causes are important to me. 

There's a lot of young moms who need compassionate help right now. That's a good direction to investigate.

[fraidycat]

Just a few ideas from my life:

Have you organized all your photos? Depending on how you'd like to do that, there are gift ideas, ranging from archival safe boxes and pens/labels to scrapbooking supplies, etc. 

I got a beginner wool felting kit for my birthday. I've tried making a couple small things, but I hope to find more time to practice in the winter months.

We had a "mostly girls" camping trip a few weeks ago and painted rocks and coloured in adult colouring books to pass the time. It was both fun and relaxing. We all chose a Spongebob character to paint for one of our rock "projects".

 

ETA: None of these are "passions" really, but they are easy hobbies to pick up or put down depending on time/energy available. They do help pass the time. 

Edited August 2, 2023 by fraidycat

[ProudGrandma]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Oh, what did you dream about doing when you were a kid?  And how did you think those things would make you feel?  Because you might have ruled them out for good reason, but that feeling you thought it would give you is a direction.  What else in your life might give you those feelings?

I dreamt of being a teacher,  but ended up not like teaching in a school,  but did homeschool our 3 kids from beginning to end. 

I don't want to teach or tutor. But the organizing thing does make me happy.  And I have considered doing something with that.. just don't know how or what.  We live in a small rural town.. so not many opportunities to do much of anything. 

 

[Rosie_0801]

9 minutes ago, kfeusse said:

Good question.  Prolife causes are important to me. 

My brother's friend has a job that involves talking companies into donating to food pantries and meals on wheels. So, basically, organising people organising food.

A smaller version is a table at the local market for people to swap home grown produce.

Another group in my small, rural town is currently fundraising for a toy library.

[ProudGrandma]

2 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

Just a few ideas from my life:

Have you organized all your photos? Depending on how you'd like to do that, there are gift ideas, ranging from archival safe boxes and pens/labels to scrapbooking supplies, etc. 

I got a beginner wool felting kit for my birthday. I've tried making a couple small things, but I hope to find more time to practice in the winter months.

We had a "mostly girls" camping trip a few weeks ago and painted rocks and coloured in adult colouring books to pass the time. It was both fun and relaxing. We all chose a Spongebob character to paint for one of our rock "projects".

Cute rocks.  Wool felting...never heard of that.  Off to google it.  

[fraidycat]

Just now, kfeusse said:

Cute rocks.  Wool felting...never heard of that.  Off to google it.  

It's basically stabbing wool repeatedly and you eventually have an animal, or a tree, or whatever you can imagine. 😁 I find it quite beginner friendly to produce an actual recognizable object and I have veerrrrry little artistic talent.

[Katy]

1 minute ago, kfeusse said:

I dreamt of being a teacher,  but ended up not like teaching in a school,  but did homeschool our 3 kids from beginning to end. 

I don't want to teach or tutor. But the organizing thing does make me happy.  And I have considered doing something with that.. just don't know how or what.  We live in a small rural town.. so not many opportunities to do much of anything. 

 

There's probably way more hoarders and people with too much stuff who are also bad at organizing than you know. I got overwhelmed with crap a few years back and spent 6 months decluttering and organizing my house.  I was never a hoarder, but I bet I watched every YouTube channel on cleaning, decluttering, and organizing back then. And a bunch of books too. Mentioning at church that you'd like to help anyone who needs help organizing might find you overwhelmed with people to help.

And if that's not an interest, you could try to help young moms.  Someone here in my town set up little free pantries all over (like little free libraries) and noticed that people desperately needed diapers and feminine hygiene supplies in my area. She organized a drive on Facebook to supply all the little free pantries and the food pantries with both, and arranged with all the pediatricians in town to set up free diaper areas in their entries.  So even if your baby outgrows one size you can leave the remainder and someone who needs them can grab the rest.

I've also heard of women who set up backup childcare situations in one church (like I can't be a permanent babysitter, but I can help while yours is out sick or on vacation for a few days). Or when I did foster care I met women who signed up for respite foster care with NO intention of taking a child overnight, but they'd take my babies a few hours while I went to court and when I was forbidden to take them to court for safety reasons involving bio family.

[mlktwins]

I am 56 and will be an empty nester this month. My passions are photography and pictures. I also love to cross-stitch. i plan to spend more time reading, which I loved doing before kids, and exercising. I will be organizing too, but that is not my passion. I wish it was 🤪!

[Kidlit]

I am a very disorganized person with too many passions!  We should get together.  LOL 

 

For real, though--have you any friends or family who might appreciate the help of your orderly mind and ability to bring order to chaos? 

[Arcadia]

31 minutes ago, kfeusse said:

The only thing I can think of that really makes me happy is organizing things.  But that's not a hobby or a thing people can use for gift ideas.  

Why not. Organizing things/events can be a hobby and/or a job. For organizing events, my parents had help paid for Filofax and personal digital organizers in the early 90s before the smartphone era. For organizing things, friends and family have gifted me organizers. For example I am looking for a practical jewelry organizer right now. 

[Ausmumof3]

Maybe you could get into collecting something? Then you could label and organise to your hearts content. Or volunteer at a museum?

[Indigo Blue]

What about buying a big box of glass seed beads and Swarovski crystals of varying sizes? You could make pretty bracelets for people. A big box of beads is very inexpensive on Amazon. You just need stretchy cord and stringing needles. 
 

And I agree about the Container Store. It’s amazing. 

[ProudGrandma]

37 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

It's basically stabbing wool repeatedly and you eventually have an animal, or a tree, or whatever you can imagine. 😁 I find it quite beginner friendly to produce an actual recognizable object and I have veerrrrry little artistic talent.

Then what do you do with what you made?

[City Mouse]

Maybe it is your wording.

I don’t feel like I have “passions”. I do have hobbies and interests, but the time I spend on those varies. For example, this summer I worked on making 3 counted cross stitch Christmas ornaments. Now that those 3 are finished, I probably won’t open up another kit for several months. (I only do cross stitch kits that come with all the parts). I like reading, but I can go several weeks between books. Sometimes I enjoy cooking and baking, but not in the summer when it is so hot, or whileI am currently trying to lose weight. 

Maybe stop trying to come up with an all encompassing passion, and just try different things to see what you enjoy in short spurts.

 

[ProudGrandma]

1 minute ago, City Mouse said:

Maybe it is your wording.

I don’t feel like I have “passions”. I do have hobbies and interests, but the time I spend on those varies. For example, this summer I worked on making 3 counted cross stitch Christmas ornaments. Now that those 3 are finished, I probably won’t open up another kit for several months. (I only do cross stitch kits that come with all the parts). I like reading, but I can go several weeks between books. Sometimes I enjoy cooking and baking, but not in the summer when it is so hot, or whileI am currently trying to lose weight. 

Maybe stop trying to come up with an all encompassing passion, and just try different things to see what you enjoy in short spurts.

 

Good advice...I will keep this in mind. 

[Heartstrings]

I think us moms tend to dismiss our own things and elevate others.  

Your husband likes scotch, do you care for coffee or tea? Different seltzers, wines, sonic drinks?
 

Your daughter likes small children and you count that as her “thing”, so organizing can count every bit as much.  Do you like cleaning? Finding the best products, trying new products, all natural methods? 
 

If things “count” for others they can count for you.  

[ProudGrandma]

5 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

I think us moms tend to dismiss our own things and elevate others.  

Your husband likes scotch, do you care for coffee or tea? Different seltzers, wines, sonic drinks?
 

Your daughter likes small children and you count that as her “thing”, so organizing can count every bit as much.  Do you like cleaning? Finding the best products, trying new products, all natural methods? 
 

If things “count” for others they can count for you.  

I do like coffee, wine and seltzer.  Not sure what sonic drinks are... but I am off to google that. 

You are right about dismissing my "things"....maybe because organizing just doesn't seem as interesting as pipes,  grilling or craft beer. (The kids want us all to get my husband a Treager grill for his birthday and Christmas... and they can never find something as cool as that for me....and my husband says it's because I have no hobbies or any thing that I really love,  so I am very hard to buy for.... And I agree).

[GoVanGogh]

Well I am an avid gardener, more than just a passion. Obsession. So my DH would probably prefer I didn’t have that as a hobby. LOL But he does love the homegrown produce. 
I would find some causes to volunteer with. In my former life, I volunteered weekly at a local food pantry. I loved it and hope to do it again sometime in the future. Our local agency has so many aspects to it and are always looking for volunteers for different areas, such as teaching computer literacy, setting up and helping with back to school programs or holiday toy giveaway. I know they love highly organized people, people that can walk in and see how something needs to be done and get down and do it. 

[Rosie_0801]

5 minutes ago, kfeusse said:

I do like coffee, wine and seltzer.  Not sure what sonic drinks are... but I am off to google that. 

You are right about dismissing my "things"....maybe because organizing just doesn't seem as interesting as pipes,  grilling or craft beer. (The kids want us all to get my husband a Treager grill for his birthday and Christmas... and they can never find something as cool as that for me....and my husband says it's because I have no hobbies or any thing that I really love,  so I am very hard to buy for.... And I agree).

Tell them you want Rwandan coffee with hints of apple.

(I don't drink coffee, don't know if that's^ a thing but read it in a book recently.)

 

In my family, it's "Hey, I found this new noodle brand/mochi flavour/jar of well I-don't-know-what-it-is so you'd better ask Muslim-Asian Friend about because she probably knows, or knows someone who knows but I thought you should want it anyway.

[Carol in Cal.]

I like to eat great food. 

I like to be creative.  It doesn't much matter whether that is expressed cooking, weaving, knitting, figuring out an environment, planning out something, or organizing a collage or table top.

I like to read. Novels are my favorite, but I also like history a lot.

I love to go to church.  The Divine Service resets me completely, fresh and new, every time.  I love to sing meaty hymns so much.

I love evergreen trees.  When I see one I pretty much get happy, especially if I can smell it.

I love the Sierra mountains.  Being there is enough, but walking or hanging out in the forests or by the streams there is heaven.

I'm intrigued by how people used to do things, whether it's looking at old hand tools and gadgets at an antique show or reading about Native American basketry.  I like figuring out how those things are done, even if I don't try them myself.

I love singing good choral music.  I hope to return to my big community choir this year.

I used to love to ski, and to float on the water of a lake.  

I like to serve in my church and my church body, a lot.

If someone were shopping for me, though, they would have trouble.  I have more yarn than I will ever use, really.  I finally got some nice pearl earrings last year, and I can't think of any other jewelry that I'd really like.  I have good pots and pans, and appliances, and way too many cookbooks.  I used to play recorder, and I'd enjoy having a really good alto recorder. The good ones are much easier to play than my student one.  

So, just saying, being hard to shop for does not mean you don't have interests.  

[JustEm]

My passions are personal finance education, writing, discussing books and movies, boardgames, and exercising. Gardening is quickly becoming a passion even though I'm not particularly good at it.

[Heartstrings]

26 minutes ago, kfeusse said:

Not sure what sonic drinks are

Drinks from Sonic.  They have eleven billion combinations and are basically life where I live.  

[Shoeless]

1 hour ago, kfeusse said:

The problem is I don't even know where to begin looking.  

Pick something you have heard other people doing and try it. 

[Clarita]

1 hour ago, kfeusse said:

I want to want to... and I guess it's more like I want to,  but I don't want to go through the learning stage now because I know I won't catch on quickly.

Well I have some hobbies that I'm not good at nor do I even want to put enough effort in to be good at. Piano, handbells, ballet, and ice skating. Hobbies don't have to be things we get good at, just things we like to do. 

[Shoeless]

I have hobbies I enjoy but I don't call them passions. To me, "passion" involves a level of intensity I cannot maintain.

I like needlepoint, cross stitch, and crochet. I like jigsaw puzzles, cheap coffee (sorry, coffee snobs, but Folgers makes me happy!), and funny socks. I also like cats, funny bird videos, and salt water taffy. 

Not passionate about any of it. Except cats.

 

[fraidycat]

1 hour ago, kfeusse said:

Then what do you do with what you made?

My goal is to get decent at replicating animals and make Christmas ornaments of family pets for family members.

[Toocrazy!!]

I think passion is overrated, or just not meant for certain personalities. I’m just not a passionate person. And it stresses me out when people say follow your passions. 
What I have done is start saying yes. To almost any offer or opportunity that comes my way. I’m in the you never really regret an experience part of my life. I haven’t found any true passion, but I’ve experienced a lot of new things, some just once, some longer. Try a bunch of things. Something might stick. 

 

[kathyl]

I'm not a passionate person either.  Unless I see a Chihuahua.  😁😍

But I won't have any more pets at my age (67yo) for various reasons.  So, I find things I 'like'.  And that's enough for now.  Maybe one day I'll find something else I'm passionate about like I was about hs'ing and Chihuahuas.  Who knows.  

[Kuovonne]

One of my current hobbies is napping. It took me a while to get over feeling like napping was a waste of time. Now I simply enjoy my naps.

I have a few other hobbies that are more active than napping. I am good enough at one of them that it turned into a job. However, I am really, really bad at most of my hobbies, and that's okay. I do them because I find the activities personally fulfilling in and of themselves.

Edited August 2, 2023 by Kuovonne

[wintermom]

It sounds more like you feel left out of things with your family members, because much of the things they like to do or drink you don't really fancy. You must have alternative preferences for drinks rather than craft beer, for example. Those could be considered your "passion." Maybe you like tea. Maybe it would be fun to explore a bunch of different kinds of tea and see what really tickles your fancy.

If I was surrounded by family members that all dove deep into craft beer (which I hate), I'd sure as heck start diving into all the joys of hard cider (which I like). I'm rather competitive and inquisitive, and it would be fun to taste all the different variations of ciders to see which one is best for me. I may even win a family member over to my "dark and devious cider side." I wouldn't call this a passion, rather an exploration into finding out what I like. After completing this exploration exercise, I may end up discovering that the cider I was drinking all along is still the one I enjoy best. 

 

 

Edited August 2, 2023 by wintermom

[Melissa Louise]

My passion is BTS, highly recommend to currently passionless others. 

[Dianthus]

I never have time for my passion but I'm a passionate person. I also cycle through lesser passions.

How about dance? Interested in trying ballroom, line dance, or contra dance?

How about fitness? 

How about a pet? Get a dog and do agility? So much fun.

Are you trying lots of things? If you don't try, you won't find the thing you love. Try pickleball, golf, yoga, making soap, spinning and weaving, painting, pottery, stained glass, sing in a choir.

Oh, and how about travel? Use your organizing skills to plan amazing trips.

Edited August 2, 2023 by Dianthus

[Shoeless]

I guess I'm kind of passionate about nutrition.  I can blather on for hours about how terrible processed food is and how no one should eat it and look what it's doing to our health, economy, the environment, and how processed food companies are misogynistic because they devalue traditional women's work in order to line some dude's pocket, etc.

But no one wants to hear that, so... 🤷‍♀️🙃

[Murphy101]

1 hour ago, Melissa Louise said:

My passion is BTS, highly recommend to currently passionless others. 

I was just going to suggest start watching kdramas. LOL And yes, while I have never met those whippersnapper BTD boys, I like their music and I like their passion to make things better in their industry and country. 

I have had lots of different interests. And organizing or researching IS a passion too! It might not be one that gets people excited at a dinner party, but I find learning things fascinating. Especially cultural and anthropological.

I tend to binge hobby/interest. Something will capture my interest and I’ll go all in deep into it. There’s pretty much nothing I can’t knit or crochet if I want to.  I know the history or them and various methods and pattern origins. I can recognize some works as being such and such designers.  I know how to dye and make the yarn and sources and everything. And there’s still more to learn I’m sure.

same with scuba and snorkeling and gardening and a bunch of other things.

Currently I’m all things Korean culture and language.

Do you have friends? Not said in any judging at all. But there’s few things in my life that haven’t been improved by a weekly coffee date with friends and or a long walk with them.  And I don’t care if it’s 2 hours away - if they are going to something, I’m happy to go too.  Everything is better with a buddy.  And we talk about all kinds of things.  Which makes our antennae go up if later we hear something we think one of might be interested in.  I’m a connector personality, so this is a major need for me to function with fellow humans  

oh! That reminds me. FB groups for various towns called Makers and Class Takers.  Most recent listings are yoga, asl, stained glass, bread making…. The listing can be any class at all.  One of my BFFs loves it. She tries all kinds of stuff just for kicks. 

[Shoeless]

Have you considered making a blog and/or youtube channel on organizing? There are a LOT of people that would appreciate something like that. 

I have a cousin that runs an organizing business out of her home. She has a youtube channel and tiktok, and posts about how she organizes various things.  I have no idea how much money it makes, but she likes it, so? 

 

 

[PeterPan]

Fwiw, I think even hobbies and passions go through stages of life. You've reached a point where maybe you don't need more *stuff* to be happy and you don't have the *need* that drives some hobbies (like sewing for kids). Do you volunteer or do any charity work? It's a good stage for where you're at. Have you thought of traveling? You don't have to wait for everyone. You'd be surprised how many women travel alone. 🙂 Whatever your so spends on his cigars, etc. in a year you tally up and that's your travel funds. Or if that's not enough, multiply by the number of kids you have. 😁

 

[regentrude]

I have never been short of passions, but when the empty nest started and I was seriously looking for an area to devote all the new time and energy to, I took a year and said yes to every opportunity to try a new thing. Any invitation of a friend to do something I hadn't tried, any class or event. That shakes things lose in the brain. Highly recommend, and it worked.

If you look what opportunities are available,  I bet you find lots of different things in your community, even if it's a small town.

Was there nothing you loved doing as a kid???

Edited August 2, 2023 by regentrude

[regentrude]

6 hours ago, kfeusse said:

I do walk with my husband daily.  Hiking if we are someplace where that is an option...I have a bike.. but not a passion. 

Can you spin off of that? Learn about the native plants you see in your walks, the geology of the area, the ecology, the local history, what folks settled there, what cultural traditions they brought... some things *become* a passion only once you start investing time in them.