Elder advice - because y'all are the smartest ladies on the internet

[lauraw4321]

My mother has been experiencing falls. This is likely due to neuropathy and other effects from chemotherapy for her breast cancer. I know of two falls within the past 2 weeks. 

She brushes these off entirely. The first one was from "stepping wrong." The second one was from "leaning down to pick something up." So far she's just had bumps, scrapes and bruises from these falls. 

Her gait is unusual now. It's not shuffling, and I'm not sure how to describe it. When I see her walk I get really nervous. I always watch her get to her car or try to walk with her.

I've suggested she should use a cane or a walker and she's refused. I don't think it's my place to force anything on her. But it's also upsetting. She has been seen by a neurologist, but it seems like physical therapy might be helpful? 

For context, my dad is in good health but works still, so she's alone much of the day. One of these falls, she didn't have her phone in her pocket and she had to crawl through the house to get to it. Should I push for something like life alert?

TIA!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, something like Life Alert is not only useful but can be lifesaving.

Yes, PT can really help her.  You might get her to accept it if you explain that it will help her be mobile and independent without the use of a cane or walker. 

[Tiberia]

Apple Watch and some other smart watches have fall alerts, and a new watch is more acceptable than life alert to some people who are in denial about needing the service. The watches with fall alert will also enable calling 911 from the watch. You’d have to research, but that might be a good option. My dad had a life alert necklace and never wore it until he spent eight hours on the floor because he couldn’t get up from a fall. 
 

Independence and dignity are the hardest things to give up, so I understand your mom‘s reluctance, but it sounds like she needs something right now.

 

[Harriet Vane]

Falls are a big deal. One ugly fall can lead to a cascade of medical problems. It's a known Big Thing for those who work in elder care.

Anyone can be clumsy, true. So I do not want to cause unnecessary alarm. But for both my fil and for a family friend, gait changes and falls were the precursor to other neurological problems emerging. My fil had Lewy body dementia, and my friend has a diagnosis of Parkinsonian (different from Parkinsons). Clumsiness on your mom's part could be the underlying simple explanation, or even something like osteoporosis. No matter the reason, though, it's best to keep eyes wide open and give this some attention.

So yes, get a panic-button system of some sort. 

Definitely yes, insist on PT. With any of the diagnoses I mentioned, plenty of exercise and especially strengthening is the very best thing you can do.

Speak to her neurologist about Parkinsons, Parkinsonian, and Lewy body dementia--all three should be at least on the radar when there are falls and gait changes. In your description, what concerns me the most is the gait change. Get the eyes of BOTH the PT and the neurologist on that for sure.

[Spryte]

Apple Watch is a great option, and more appealing than Life Alert. If she has Amazon Alexa, make sure she can call for help that way, too, I think they have something for elder care.

PT and possibly some OT might help. Working on balance was especially helpful for my elder.

Quick link to an article about Alexa’s elder care subscription: https://techcrunch.com/2022/05/12/amazons-alexa-together-elder-care-subscription-service-families-add-10-caregivers/amp/

Edited September 15, 2022 by Spryte

[mlktwins]

I agree with all mentioned above.  With PT, make sure she does her exercises at home.  Medicare will only continue to pay (for whatever their term is) if she is showing improvement.  They will probably assess her once a month.

[vonfirmath]

18 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

Falls are a big deal. One ugly fall can lead to a cascade of medical problems. It's a known Big Thing for those who work in elder care.

Anyone can be clumsy, true. So I do not want to cause unnecessary alarm. But for both my fil and for a family friend, gait changes and falls were the precursor to other neurological problems emerging. My fil had Lewy body dementia, and my friend has a diagnosis of Parkinsonian (different from Parkinsons). Clumsiness on your mom's part could be the underlying simple explanation, or even something like osteoporosis. No matter the reason, though, it's best to keep eyes wide open and give this some attention.

So yes, get a panic-button system of some sort. 

Definitely yes, insist on PT. With any of the diagnoses I mentioned, plenty of exercise and especially strengthening is the very best thing you can do.

Speak to her neurologist about Parkinsons, Parkinsonian, and Lewy body dementia--all three should be at least on the radar when there are falls and gait changes. In your description, what concerns me the most is the gait change. Get the eyes of BOTH the PT and the neurologist on that for sure.

YES!

My sister has relatives that died from the consequences of a fall

(note though that just having the Alert is not sufficient -- Granny and Grandpa had the ability on them to call for help but it was night. When Granny fell, Grandpa tried to get her up. Then he fell too and they lay on the floor all night waiting for daylight before they called for help to "not bother anyone" -- both were gone within a week.

 

[Tenaj]

We've had two broken necks among the elders in our family in the past three years.  Falls are a big deal and anything that you can do to convince her avoid them is important.  I tried and tried to talk my mom into physical therapy but none of her drs. ever mentioned it and she was loathe to bring it up so her walking continued to deteriorate rapidly over the last years of her life.  Her last fall led to her demise as she was on the floor for several hours, broken neck and bleeding (blood thinners).  She never regained her strength.  I wish she had begun to work at the physical therapy when she first began to have trouble walking but she wasn't willing and that was her decision.  

If you can convince your mom, I would push for physical therapy!  Maybe you or your dad can get her drs. on board with specific recommendations.

[GoVanGogh]

I have young onset Parkinson’s and falls are a part of my life now. It is easy to brush them off. I did for a long time because I didn’t want to admit how much I was falling, not to mention the millions of times I almost fell. 
I will be getting a Garmin watch soon that has fall detection and I wear a medical alert bracelet when I am out by myself. 
I was seeing a physical therapist but he was more interested in teaching me how to use a walker and not in how to regain strength so I didn’t need a walker. When insurance had decided I had enough PT, I started seeing a personal trainer weekly and the improvement over the past few years has been incredible. Core strength is key because we pull from our core to avoid falling when we stumble. My trainer has also worked with me on lunges, stepping up and down curbs, even “how to fall,” which comes in handy! I can now regain my balance without going all the way down. My neurologist recently sent me to vestibular therapy which has been very helpful. 
Proper hydration is so important, too. All summer, I was struggling with low blood pressure and my doctors advised me to get more salt in my diet and to take electrolytes. That has been amazing. I also now keep a pitcher of water out and measure out how much I am drinking, because otherwise I would just be drinking caffeine all day. 
I don’t know how active your mom was prior, but I highly recommend Pilates on the reformer for core strength, as you get a lot out of short workouts. Yoga balance poses, by a wall, are also good for building up strength in core and legs. 
 

Edited September 15, 2022 by GoVanGogh

[Tanaqui]

Wow, vonfirmath, that's terrible. That's actually the worst thing I've read all week.

[athena1277]

A couple things to consider when getting something so she can get help if she falls.  If she’s still leaving the house alone, make sure it works everywhere.  Some only work at home.  You may also want to consider one that detects falls and calls someone if she doesn’t respond in a certain time.  If she is knocked out, she can’t push a button or say “hey, Alexa.”  

[Harriet Vane]

12 minutes ago, GoVanGogh said:

I have young onset Parkinson’s and falls are a part of my life now. It is easy to brush them off. I did for a long time because I didn’t want to admit how much I was falling, not to mention the millions of times I almost fell. 
I will be getting a Garmin watch soon that has fall detection and I wear a medical alert bracelet when I am out by myself. 
I was seeing a physical therapist but he was more interested in teaching me how to use a walker and not in how to regain strength so I didn’t need a walker. When insurance had decided I had enough PT, I started seeing a personal trainer weekly and the improvement over the past few years has been incredible. Core strength is key because we pull from our core to avoid falling when we stumble. My trainer has also worked with me on lunges, stepping up and down curbs, even “how to fall,” which comes in handy! I can now regain my balance without going all the way down. My neurologist recently sent me to vestibular therapy which has been very helpful. 
Proper hydration is so important, too. All summer, I was struggling with low blood pressure and my doctors advised me to get more salt in my diet and to take electrolytes. That has been amazing. I also now keep a pitcher of water out and measure out how much I am drinking, because otherwise I would just be drinking caffeine all day. 
I don’t know how active your mom was prior, but I highly recommend Pilates on the reformer for core strength, as you get a lot out of short workouts. Yoga balance poses, by a wall, are also good for building up strength in core and legs. 
 

You go, girl. Sooooo much respect for the way you have taken charge.

I had a similar but different personal journey. After being in the ICU with severe sepsis, my doctors minimized my balance issues afterward and I really struggled with walking. Just soooo badly deconditioned. Finally when a doctor wanted me to start walking with a cane (!!!), I took matters into my own hands. I did official PT for a couple months, but when the PT said I was ready to "graduate" I knew I was nowhere near normal strength. He literally said I was way ahead of his other clients (who were mostly elderly), and that was NOT a good enough measure in my book. I was only in my 40s! And I wanted to walk without fear and do so much more. I hired a personal trainer and she changed my life. We did similar things to what you describe. 

[mlktwins]

My dad fell a year ago this past  July.  I had just spoken with him an hour before his fall and would not have checked on him again until the next evening.  The neighbor below him heard him fall and called me and DH and I rushed straight over.  He might have had a very different outcome if she hadn't call me :-(.  Since he lives alone, I got him24/7 care after that and he hasn't been alone ever since (he wasn't thrilled with this).

I can say that the owner of my dad's caregiving company says that the elderly, once they fall, will sometimes not push the life alert button - either from being unconscious or being in shock.  They can also die from shock from a fall if left there alone on the floor for too long.  It's really sad that this is what it comes to as we age :-(.  

[lauraw4321]

Thanks, everyone. I do recognize that it's a big deal. 

We were specifically told that one of the chemos she received would cause neuropathy. She was supposed to keep her hands and feet in ice while she got that one, and she wasn't very compliant. So I imagine that is at least part of what's going on.

She is not in good health and does not have much strength. I think I need to make sure she's realized that one of these falls could kill her. If she's willing to assume that risk, so be it. But if not, there are things she could be doing to reduce that risk.

[GoVanGogh]

4 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

You go, girl. Sooooo much respect for the way you have taken charge.

I had a similar but different personal journey. After being in the ICU with severe sepsis, my doctors minimized my balance issues afterward and I really struggled with walking. Just soooo badly deconditioned. Finally when a doctor wanted me to start walking with a cane (!!!), I took matters into my own hands. I did official PT for a couple months, but when the PT said I was ready to "graduate" I knew I was nowhere near normal strength. He literally said I was way ahead of his other clients (who were mostly elderly), and that was NOT a good enough measure in my book. I was only in my 40s! And I wanted to walk without fear and do so much more. I hired a personal trainer and she changed my life. We did similar things to what you describe. 

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. It has been a battle but I’m not going without a fight. I was in physical therapy during Covid lockdown time period. It was an awful experience. In hindsight I am so thankful that insurance said they wouldn’t pay for any more. When the lockdown ended, I drug myself in to the gym I used to belong to but hadn’t been in a few years. I had planned to use the stationary bike that day, as there is research that biking is good for Parkinson’s patients. I ran in to a trainer I knew from years past. We sat down and talked, as we were about the entire people in the gym. (This was maybe a week after the lockdown was lifted.) I hired him on the spot. Best thing I have ever done. It is expensive, but we consider it an investment today to - hopefully - bank against future falls/medical expenses. 
HV, Your own journey is so amazing. Thank you for sharing. 
To the OP or anyone that needs this, fall prevention is so important. You can have all the best safeguards in place, but the best thing anyone can do is keep up their mobility and work every day on core strength and balance. When I started with my trainer, I was only able to do stationary lunges while holding on to a bar. He now has me doing walking lunges with a heavy barbell. It can be built back. My balance/brain is different every single day. I never know if I will be leaning left or feel like I am falling back to the right. I feel like I am in a perpetual fun house. Having the ability to pull myself out of a stumble and to know how to soften and roll in to a fall if I can’t regain my balance has been a game changer. 

[Arcadia]

14 minutes ago, mlktwins said:

.  They can also die from shock from a fall if left there alone on the floor for too long.  It's really sad that this is what it comes to as we age :-(.  

 

10 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

I think I need to make sure she's realized that one of these falls could kill her. If she's willing to assume that risk, so be it. But if not, there are things she could be doing to reduce that risk.

My late uncle fell while drunk at home and relatives only found out the next day. He had a stroke and remained in hospice for about a year before his death. My late mom is the kind who doesn’t mind being dead but does not want to be bedridden. So telling her that a fall could be fatal won’t be an incentive for her to be “compliant”. 

My dad wears an Apple Watch that I have set up the SOS alert to also call my nearby cousins and my brother if he falls. He has wore a watch since he was a kid so it would be unusual for him to forget to wear it. 
 

The chemo drugs I had does cause neuropathy and luckily I didn’t suffer from that. I did not do the soak in ice bath thing. I don’t do well with cold and had heat pads all over during chemo or I would be shivering.

[Harriet Vane]

4 minutes ago, GoVanGogh said:

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. It has been a battle but I’m not going without a fight. I was in physical therapy during Covid lockdown time period. It was an awful experience. In hindsight I am so thankful that insurance said they wouldn’t pay for any more. When the lockdown ended, I drug myself in to the gym I used to belong to but hadn’t been in a few years. I had planned to use the stationary bike that day, as there is research that biking is good for Parkinson’s patients. I ran in to a trainer I knew from years past. We sat down and talked, as we were about the entire people in the gym. (This was maybe a week after the lockdown was lifted.) I hired him on the spot. Best thing I have ever done. It is expensive, but we consider it an investment today to - hopefully - bank against future falls/medical expenses. 
HV, Your own journey is so amazing. Thank you for sharing. 
To the OP or anyone that needs this, fall prevention is so important. You can have all the best safeguards in place, but the best thing anyone can do is keep up their mobility and work every day on core strength and balance. When I started with my trainer, I was only able to do stationary lunges while holding on to a bar. He now has me doing walking lunges with a heavy barbell. It can be built back. My balance/brain is different every single day. I never know if I will be leaning left or feel like I am falling back to the right. I feel like I am in a perpetual fun house. Having the ability to pull myself out of a stumble and to know how to soften and roll in to a fall if I can’t regain my balance has been a game changer. 

YES to the bold blue most especially. That's exactly what we said. I never thought I would be a fancy person with a trainer, but it was a life-changing decision. I have never regretted the investment and I do continue with ongoing training because I have a chronic condition (EDS). I'll say it again--bravo to you for claiming and building better tools for yourself. 

[Laura Corin]

1 hour ago, lauraw4321 said:

My mother has been experiencing falls. This is likely due to neuropathy and other effects from chemotherapy for her breast cancer. I know of two falls within the past 2 weeks. 

She brushes these off entirely. The first one was from "stepping wrong." The second one was from "leaning down to pick something up." So far she's just had bumps, scrapes and bruises from these falls. 

Her gait is unusual now. It's not shuffling, and I'm not sure how to describe it. When I see her walk I get really nervous. I always watch her get to her car or try to walk with her.

I've suggested she should use a cane or a walker and she's refused. I don't think it's my place to force anything on her. But it's also upsetting. She has been seen by a neurologist, but it seems like physical therapy might be helpful? 

For context, my dad is in good health but works still, so she's alone much of the day. One of these falls, she didn't have her phone in her pocket and she had to crawl through the house to get to it. Should I push for something like life alert?

TIA!

Fwiw my mother refused to use a cane until she hurt herself falling. Then she took the nurse's advice, not mine.

[Spy Car]

Falls are scary.

We have a wonderful older neighbor who is like a family member to us who has Parkinson's. 

She had not fallen for a couple of months, but I got "the call" in the middle of the night last night that she was down. Her husband (also like family) is elderly and just doesn't have the strength to get her up.

Fortunately I do. I insist that they call me anytime day or night. Being able to help her is one of the things that truly makes me glad to be alive.

But it is scary. 

Best to you @vonfirmath

Bill

[Kassia]

My father was found dead on his bathroom floor.  I'll never know how long he was on the floor before he died - was it instant or was he lying there suffering for a long time?  It haunted me for a long time but I had to let it go.  I can only hope that he died suddenly and didn't suffer.  

He didn't have a history of falling that in know of (he lived alone OOS) other than one time when he lost his balance leaning over to pick up keys he had dropped but I could tell he was unwell (he was hiding it) and was just about to address the issue with him but it was too late.  

 

 

[Janeway]

I love the Alexa idea!! It won’t make her feel elderly. You could show her how to play her music in it. Don’t present it as being for her safety but rather just a cool thing.

[Drama Llama]

We've dealt with scary falls with my grandmother, my mother, and my grandfather-in-law.  

I think an Apple Watch is a good solution, if you can get the elderly person to get in a routine of charging it.  The tricky thing is that you have to take it off to charge it, and since falls when people get up in the night for the bathroom are common, charging at night isn't the solution.  With my GFIL it's easy, because he lives with other people who can take that on, but with my mom that was a problem.  

PT that works on balance can be good, it's helped my mom a lot, her mobility has gotten worse, but she's had fewer falls, plus the PT was the one who was able to convince her to use a rollator.  

[Junie]

@Harriet Vane and @GoVanGogh

Thank you for sharing your experiences!  Before Covid, I was taking Tai Chi classes that very much helped me to improve my balance.  A few days ago I was thinking about re-joining the class -- y'all have encouraged me to do so!!

I have RA and have some mobility issues.  I use a cane when I am outside of my own home.  I really don't need the cane most of the time -- until I do.  I decided that for me it would be best to use the cane all of the time when I'm out, so that if I'm having a day that I feel worse, I have the cane with me. 

But, more importantly, I know that I'm stubborn and I am not going to react well if someone tells me that I'm at the point that I need to use the cane.  So I'm circumventing my own stubbornness by using the cane now.  I think my family will thank me later. :)

[Beth S]

In our experience, none of our four parents agreed to use a walker or cane until after there was a scary fall.

Another option is an Echo Show (it can show family photos when not in use). 
We use it for weekly video calls, but you can drop in to see if they're OK (if they're not answering their phone, etc).
You can just check in on her twice a day.
You could call out (loudly) to her via the device, if she happens to be in another room.

IMO, you're being given a chance to adjust to the future.
You cannot make your Mom use a walker.
She will fall.  She may hurt herself.
But she's living the life she has chosen, & that part is not your responsibility.

Another option is just to buy the $100 rolling walker from Walmart, & stick it in her living room.
She can use it without anyone knowing.

Edited September 15, 2022 by Beth S

[Jean in Newcastle]

Regarding PTs-  it shouldn’t come as any surprise that not all physical therapists are equal. I have had bad ones and now I have excellent ones. The excellent ones are proactive. They listen to your goals and needs. They encourage you to stretch your capabilities but take baby steps to get there so that you don’t get hurt in the process. 
 

Physical therapists are limited by what has been ordered by a doctor. (This might vary some by state). But my PT operates on the principle that muscles connect to each other and thus has been able to pivot to help me with new issues as they come up. But it’s also a reality that insurance will limit how many PT visits are covered. I am extremely fortunate that I found a personal trainer who works as a PT assistant during the week and with individuals like me on the weekends. She actually works with my PT so they put their heads together to work with me. (My body doesn’t just lack strength- it is always working against me with muscle spasms and cramps that won’t let up. I can develop new issues at the drop of a hat. ). 
 

All this to say-  don’t take the first cookie cutter PT who comes along. Do your research. A PT can help build strength and balance in smaller increments than most personal trainers. But once you are at a certain point then a personal trainer is great to graduate to. Some insurance plans have special “silver sneakers” programs at community  centers and other places for seniors. These are sometimes subsidized. They can provide good social opportunities as well as physical training. 

Edited September 16, 2022 by Jean in Newcastle
Typo

[GoVanGogh]

2 hours ago, Junie said:

@Harriet Vane and @GoVanGogh

Thank you for sharing your experiences!  Before Covid, I was taking Tai Chi classes that very much helped me to improve my balance.  A few days ago I was thinking about re-joining the class -- y'all have encouraged me to do so!!

I have RA and have some mobility issues.  I use a cane when I am outside of my own home.  I really don't need the cane most of the time -- until I do.  I decided that for me it would be best to use the cane all of the time when I'm out, so that if I'm having a day that I feel worse, I have the cane with me. 

But, more importantly, I know that I'm stubborn and I am not going to react well if someone tells me that I'm at the point that I need to use the cane.  So I'm circumventing my own stubbornness by using the cane now.  I think my family will thank me later. 🙂

Tai chi is excellent for balance and core strength. My son and I took classes together a number of years ago. The instructor also taught at senior centers around the area. She was always saying how tai chi is a constant back and forth between left and right foot, coupled with the arm motions, teaching elders how to shift their center of balance without falling. She was a huge advocate for seniors or anyone with chronic health issues using tai chi as an enjoyable, soothing form of physical therapy. 
Arm movement is another skill that some elders need assistance Re-learning. As people get stiffer with age or with chronic issues, they may not swing their arms in a normal synched manner. I did not realize I wasn’t swinging my right arm, nor did my DH. We have no idea how long I wasn’t swinging my right arm. But little things like that can really affect gait and balance. I still have to consciously think about moving my right arm, otherwise it tends to hang down. 

[GoVanGogh]

3 hours ago, Spy Car said:

Falls are scary.

We have a wonderful older neighbor who is like a family member to us who has Parkinson's. 

She had not fallen for a couple of months, but I got "the call" in the middle of the night last night that she was down. Her husband (also like family) is elderly and just doesn't have the strength to get her up.

Fortunately I do. I insist that they call me anytime day or night. Being able to help her is one of the things that truly makes me glad to be alive.

But it is scary. 

Best to you @vonfirmath

Bill

This is so precious. Thank you for being so kind. 

[Spy Car]

6 minutes ago, GoVanGogh said:

This is so precious. Thank you for being so kind. 

Honestly, it is my pleasure. I love knowing I'm always there for her.

These people are very dear to us.

Bill

[sassenach]

Her gait change might be drop foot from the neuropathy. The loss of sensation causes people to pick their leg up higher and drop the whole foot down in a sort of shuffle march. My FIL has it from diabetic neuropathy. It did take a really big parking lot fall before he would agree to use the walker. I basically had to insist on it but I can be a little more tough love with him. 

[mlktwins]

3 minutes ago, sassenach said:

Her gait change might be drop foot from the neuropathy. The loss of sensation causes people to pick their leg up higher and drop the whole foot down in a sort of shuffle march. My FIL has it from diabetic neuropathy. It did take a really big parking lot fall before he would agree to use the walker. I basically had to insist on it but I can be a little more tough love with him. 

I had to go tough love with my dad for the walker.  His PT kept recommending one, but no, he didn’t need it.  I was the one that took him everywhere and it was so stressful watching him wobble all over.  I finally told him I wasn’t taking him anywhere anymore if he didn’t use a walker.  We got him one and he has used it since.

MY dad’s short term memory is horrible so he doesn’t remember previous falls.  If I bring it up, he says he hasn’t fallen. So…he isn’t afraid.  

I fell on my knee at the Costco gas station in July.  I dread going there to get gas anymore and I am super careful now about not falling.  Sure don’t want to do that again.  My dad, he doesn’t remember his falls.

[J-rap]

7 hours ago, Spy Car said:

Falls are scary.

We have a wonderful older neighbor who is like a family member to us who has Parkinson's. 

She had not fallen for a couple of months, but I got "the call" in the middle of the night last night that she was down. Her husband (also like family) is elderly and just doesn't have the strength to get her up.

Fortunately I do. I insist that they call me anytime day or night. Being able to help her is one of the things that truly makes me glad to be alive.

But it is scary. 

Best to you @vonfirmath

Bill

As a stranger who probably saved a loved-one's life once told told me, "That's what it's all about, isn't it?"     Thank you for doing that for your neighbor.

Edited September 16, 2022 by J-rap

[Harriet Vane]

3 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Regarding PTs-  it shouldn’t come as any surprise that not all physical therapists are equal. I have had bad ones and now I have excellent ones. The excellent ones are proactive. They listen to your goals and needs. They encourage you to stretch your capabilities but take baby steps to get there so that you don’t get hurt in the process. 
 

Physical therapists are limited by what has been ordered by a doctor. (This might vary some by state). But my PT operates on the principle that muscles connect to each other and thus has been able to pivot to help me with new issues as they come up. But it’s also a reality that insurance will limit how many PT visits are covered. I am extremely fortunate that I found a personal trainer who works as a PT assistant during the week and with individuals like me on the weekends. She actually works with my PT so they out their heads together to work with me. (My body doesn’t just lack strength- it is always working against me with muscle spasms and cramps that won’t let up. I can develop new issues at the drop of a hat. ). 
 

All this to say-  don’t take the first cookie cutter PT who comes along. Do your research. A PT can help build strength and balance in smaller increments than most personal trainers. But once you are at a certain point then a personal trainer is great to graduate to. Some insurance plans have special “silver sneakers” programs at community  centers and other places for seniors. These are sometimes subsidized. They can provide good social opportunities as well as physical training. 

Excellent advice. 

I'm chuckling at our similarities. My trainer also works as a PT assistant. She originally recommended the official PT I work with (who works at a different clinic than the trainer). The two of them talk about me at a shared fitness class (which I of course gave permission and encouraged them to do). It's a beautiful partnership which has had a lot to do with the progress I have been able to make. I'm so grateful to them for the willing collaboration.

Edited September 16, 2022 by Harriet Vane

[Eos]

15 hours ago, Arcadia said:

My dad wears an Apple Watch that I have set up the SOS alert to also call my nearby cousins and my brother if he falls. He has wore a watch since he was a kid so it would be unusual for him to forget to wear it. 
 

I think I want my mom to switch to an apple watch from her current Life Alert.  She has occasionally forgotten to wear it - bad luck would have it that the only serious fall she's had was outside and not wearing it.  She impaled her arm on a bush she was pruning (yes, blood thinners on board, pruning bush with giant shears) and tried calling for help but no one was around.  She finally dis-impaled her arm and crawled back inside. We gave her a lot of heck about not wearing it at all times but what was done was done.  She was on antibiotics for weeks to clear up the infection in her arm.

Also the Life Alert runs a voice test sometimes at night which wakes her up and then she stays awake.  Lastly, it has to be plugged in over night, and that's when she's least steady and has to get up to use the bathroom and she never takes it with her if it's charging.

[Eos]

15 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

Then she took the nurse's advice, not mine.

Classic Mom.  Mine too.

[Laura Corin]

13 minutes ago, Eos said:

Classic Mom.  Mine too.

In my mum's case, ornery independence has mostly served her well. She turns 98 next week. Infuriating sometimes though.

[Eos]

3 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

In my mum's case, ornery independence has mostly served her well. She turns 98 next week. Infuriating sometimes though.

So similar!  Mine is 94 in October, still lives alone, still ornery.

[lmrich]

We got my parents an Apple Watch that has fall detection and have it set to send us an alert. (I did not set it up)  We did this a few years ago before there any issues. My mom has developed some serious a-fib issues and the doctor can use the data from her watch to see how she is doing. 

They have not fallen so I can't attest to how well the fall feature works. 

I once needed help and did not have my phone on me but had my phone so I could call my dd to come to the basement to help. 

[Arcadia]

4 hours ago, Eos said:

 Lastly, it has to be plugged in over night, and that's when she's least steady and has to get up to use the bathroom and she never takes it with her if it's charging.

I wear my Apple Watch round the clock because I wear my watch to bed since I was a kid. I charge the watch when I am sitting down and reading and the charging is very fast. The added advantage is that I can see where my dad is on the find my iPhone app. Also the apple watch has a iPhone locator which is handy for me since I tend to leave my phone everywhere in my home. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

27 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I wear my Apple Watch round the clock because I wear my watch to bed since I was a kid. I charge the watch when I am sitting down and reading and the charging is very fast. The added advantage is that I can see where my dad is on the find my iPhone app. Also the apple watch has a iPhone locator which is handy for me since I tend to leave my phone everywhere in my home. 

I charge my Fitbit when I shower.  I think that I would do the same with an Apple Watch.  You can't wear them in water, can you?  And while people can certainly slip and fall in the shower, if it has to be taken off anyway, it seems like a good time to charge it.  Of course, bathing can be an issue for some elderly so it might not be a good idea for everyone. 

[sassenach]

16 hours ago, mlktwins said:

I had to go tough love with my dad for the walker.  His PT kept recommending one, but no, he didn’t need it.  I was the one that took him everywhere and it was so stressful watching him wobble all over.  I finally told him I wasn’t taking him anywhere anymore if he didn’t use a walker.  We got him one and he has used it since.

MY dad’s short term memory is horrible so he doesn’t remember previous falls.  If I bring it up, he says he hasn’t fallen. So…he isn’t afraid.  

I fell on my knee at the Costco gas station in July.  I dread going there to get gas anymore and I am super careful now about not falling.  Sure don’t want to do that again.  My dad, he doesn’t remember his falls.

FIL is the most unreliable narrator of his life. His last palliative appointment the doctor asked him if he had had any falls or ER visits since the last time. He answers, "Nope!" and then I immediately reply, "Yes, both." 😑

[kbutton]

21 hours ago, GoVanGogh said:

My neurologist recently sent me to vestibular therapy which has been very helpful. 

Some other backdoor options...pulmonary rehab or cardiac rehab. If chemo has messed up anything there, those options are forms of PT as well (and if they see something, they might be able to get her into regular PT on top of it or explain to her how it's necessary). My son is getting pulmonary rehab, and the changes are amazing. His regular PT is awesome (surgical recovery), but the pulmonary rehab is filling in all the cracks and making a really big difference. I don't know what they do in geriatrics, but in pediatrics, they do a six-minute walk test (and some other strength assessments, I think) to determine eligibility for pulmonary rehab. Easy peasy.

Some fancy hearing aids have fall detection if that helps.

[Arcadia]

32 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I charge my Fitbit when I shower.  I think that I would do the same with an Apple Watch.  You can't wear them in water, can you?  And while people can certainly slip and fall in the shower, if it has to be taken off anyway, it seems like a good time to charge it.  

I put my apple watch on my cart next to the bathroom sink when I take a bath. I can use the tower rail for support if I feel dizzy from the bath tub to the cart. My watch charger is in the living room where I usually sit to read. Similar setup for my dad. 

[mlktwins]

29 minutes ago, sassenach said:

FIL is the most unreliable narrator of his life. His last palliative appointment the doctor asked him if he had had any falls or ER visits since the last time. He answers, "Nope!" and then I immediately reply, "Yes, both." 😑

Every time I take dad to the doctor (they all know me now and know I'm the one that knows what is going on), he yells at me that I don't let him do any of the talking.  So the doctor will start asking him questions and he sits there in silence staring at the doctor.  Then he tells the doctor that they need to talk to me. 🙄  Every time!!!!

[Drama Llama]

8 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I charge my Fitbit when I shower.  I think that I would do the same with an Apple Watch.  You can't wear them in water, can you?  And while people can certainly slip and fall in the shower, if it has to be taken off anyway, it seems like a good time to charge it.  Of course, bathing can be an issue for some elderly so it might not be a good idea for everyone. 

You can absolutely wear an apple watch in the shower.  You just have to pick the band carefully.  The shower is the last place I'd want my mom to take it off.  Pop doesn't shower without one of us in earshot, but my mom lives alone.  

Our plan for my mom was that she would charge it during the evening news, because that's definitely part of her routine, but she decided the Apple Watch was too much work, and now she's moving to independent living where they check on you if you don't show up for a meal.  It's not perfect.  She could fall in the shower in the evening and be there till morning, but at least she'll be found eventually.  

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

15 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

You can absolutely wear an apple watch in the shower.  You just have to pick the band carefully.  The shower is the last place I'd want my mom to take it off.  Pop doesn't shower without one of us in earshot, but my mom lives alone.  

Our plan for my mom was that she would charge it during the evening news, because that's definitely part of her routine, but she decided the Apple Watch was too much work, and now she's moving to independent living where they check on you if you don't show up for a meal.  It's not perfect.  She could fall in the shower in the evening and be there till morning, but at least she'll be found eventually.  

 

Good to know that you can wear it in the shower 

[Arcadia]

8 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Good to know that you can wear it in the shower 

It can take water but you still need to avoid soapy water. I do have a 3rd party watch face guard/protector on my watch so whatever soapy water from hand washing dishes end up on the protector. 

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT205000

“Water resistance isn't a permanent condition and can diminish over time. Apple Watch can't be rechecked or resealed for water resistance. The following can affect the water resistance of your Apple Watch and should be avoided:

• Dropping Apple Watch or subjecting it to other impacts
• Exposing Apple Watch to soap or soapy water (for example, while showering or bathing)
• Exposing Apple Watch to perfume, solvents, detergent, acids or acidic foods, insect repellent, lotions, sunscreen, oil, or hair dye
• Exposing Apple Watch to high-velocity water (for example, while water skiing)
• Wearing Apple Watch in a sauna or steam room”

[historically accurate]

On 9/15/2022 at 1:58 PM, GoVanGogh said:

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. It has been a battle but I’m not going without a fight. I was in physical therapy during Covid lockdown time period. It was an awful experience. In hindsight I am so thankful that insurance said they wouldn’t pay for any more. When the lockdown ended, I drug myself in to the gym I used to belong to but hadn’t been in a few years. I had planned to use the stationary bike that day, as there is research that biking is good for Parkinson’s patients. I ran in to a trainer I knew from years past. We sat down and talked, as we were about the entire people in the gym. (This was maybe a week after the lockdown was lifted.) I hired him on the spot. Best thing I have ever done. It is expensive, but we consider it an investment today to - hopefully - bank against future falls/medical expenses. 
HV, Your own journey is so amazing. Thank you for sharing. 
To the OP or anyone that needs this, fall prevention is so important. You can have all the best safeguards in place, but the best thing anyone can do is keep up their mobility and work every day on core strength and balance. When I started with my trainer, I was only able to do stationary lunges while holding on to a bar. He now has me doing walking lunges with a heavy barbell. It can be built back. My balance/brain is different every single day. I never know if I will be leaning left or feel like I am falling back to the right. I feel like I am in a perpetual fun house. Having the ability to pull myself out of a stumble and to know how to soften and roll in to a fall if I can’t regain my balance has been a game changer. 

I am so happy that you have found something that works for you! Question: do you think what you are doing would work for fainting and not just stumbling? My DD is a chronic fainter; she's currently fainting multiple (like 5-10) times a day. We had gotten it under control, but it's flaring pretty bad right now. Would learning "how to fall" or "lessen the consequences of the fall" work if she's unconscious for those first few seconds?

Edited September 17, 2022 by historically accurate

[Arcadia]

2 hours ago, historically accurate said:

My DD is a chronic fainter; she's currently fainting multiple (like 5-10) times a day. We had gotten it under control, but it's flaring pretty bad right now. Would learning "how to fall" or "lessen the consequences of the fall" work if she's unconscious for those first few seconds?

It does for me but I do know that I am going to faint a few seconds prior so could usually fall “safely”. Anemia, poor air circulation, lack of sleep are all fainting factors for me. Learning how to fall would lessen chances of spraining or fracturing. 

[Drama Llama]

13 hours ago, Arcadia said:

It can take water but you still need to avoid soapy water. I do have a 3rd party watch face guard/protector on my watch so whatever soapy water from hand washing dishes end up on the protector. 

A watch guard is a good idea.  Do you have a link to the one you have?  

13 hours ago, Arcadia said:

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT205000

“Water resistance isn't a permanent condition and can diminish over time. Apple Watch can't be rechecked or resealed for water resistance. The following can affect the water resistance of your Apple Watch and should be avoided:

• Dropping Apple Watch or subjecting it to other impacts
• Exposing Apple Watch to soap or soapy water (for example, while showering or bathing)
• Exposing Apple Watch to perfume, solvents, detergent, acids or acidic foods, insect repellent, lotions, sunscreen, oil, or hair dye
• Exposing Apple Watch to high-velocity water (for example, while water skiing)
• Wearing Apple Watch in a sauna or steam room”

I think it's likely that wearing the watch in the shower, or to do the dishes, might lead to it wearing out faster.  I'm sure that wearing the band in the shower will.  

But it's a device that we purchased specifically for fall protection.  Removing it in the places they're most likely to fall to protect the device seems to defeat the point.  I mean, I'm sure kids' life jackets would last longer if they didn't wear them kayaking too.  If there's another equally safe option, like showering with someone close by, then that's different.  

Doing dishes is actually really tricky since you have to stand and not hold on to anything to do it, and if you start to fall and grab something to stop you, your hands are slippery.  Pop's scary bad fall this year was doing the dishes.  

 

[Arcadia]

17 minutes ago, Baseballandhockey said:

A watch guard is a good idea.  Do you have a link to the one you have?  

 

This is the one I am using. It comes in a pack of 4 so I can easily replace mine if it gets scratched.

https://www.amazon.com/Compatible-Tempered-Protector-Protective-Accessories/dp/B09L4B7K76