If you have high schoolers in brick and mortar school-

[teachermom2834]

What kind of schedule do they keep? If they are involved in sports or other demanding activities when do they sleep? Get homework done? Are they ever home during the week other than to sleep? 

I posted a thread yesterday about my dd starting at a private high school next year for 9th grade. She is a joiner and will want to participate in as much as she can. She will also want to take the heaviest course load available to her. It isn’t a super competitive school but they do offer a significant slate of honors and AP classes and I expect she will take that route. 
 

She has started dancing more this year (in my attempt to fill up her life so that she could continue to homeschool). This week, with show rehearsals, she is dancing five nights until 8-9:00 pm. She can cut this back. She is not destined for a career in ballet. But she loves it and when I mentioned it might be tough to maintain with a school schedule she didn’t like the idea of cutting back at all.

She thrives on the busyness and I have a pretty high threshold for running her around. I realize other kids do these things and still keep up with school. But it is a little hard for me to picture what that looks like. I’m pretty used to homeschooling when a busy week of late nights meant you could sleep in an hour or two on Friday morning. 
 

What does this look like with busy high schoolers? If they have activities at night when do they sleep? Study? Just have down time? 
 

I want my dd to take rigorous classes because she is capable and interested. And I want her to participate in things because that fills her and that is why we are sending her to school. But I am not attached to her achieving any certain number of APs or any high level of success in her extra curriculars so I will be ok with her cutting back on things -but not sure she will be. She won’t be aiming for a competitive college so we don’t need to do all these things. But they will enrich her life.

Thoughts? I am struggling to get my head around what this will look like in reality. I feel like I remember having very long days and late nights in high school. Playing sports meant some late nights traveling home from away games, etc. It was ok and kept me organized and on track. But that was a long time ago and I’m not trusting my memory of the situation. 

[TexasProud]

Well, for my daughter it meant doing school approximately 10- midnight every night. ( And yes, getting up at 7 to make it to school by 8.  Sleeping in on Saturdays.  She handled it fine. Here grades were fine, but she was in much more arts classes than AP's. She will just kind of have to see how it goes as far as how much homework and such. What I would say about an AP class in our local high school would be very, very different from the AP in my niece's school.  

But this is a great time for her to figure out how to be an adult. SHE is the one who has to figure it out. I mean if she fails spectacularly, then yeah, you have to step in. But otherwise, I would much rather them miss and assignment, be bone tired for a few weeks and figure it out, maybe even by talking to you if they are open to it, then going to college and flunking out freshman year because mom or teachers have always organized their lives. ( NOT saying OP that you would or are doing this!!!!)  

I guess my philosophy of parenting was not to make things easy for them.  Also, I have always had enough figuring out what kept my own schedule sane.  LOL. 

[MEmama]

Mine took all honors and AP (and senior year, some college) classes and did sports year round. His sport was typically finished by 5 (winter indoor track could ocassionally run until 7-8 depending on track availability). Then shower, dinner and study until ~9. Freshman-junior year he usually fell asleep by 9 or 9:30; senior year was usually closer to 10-10:30. Up at 6. I’m a huge believer in quality sleep— I never needed to enforce it, but I would have protected sleep over nearly anything.

I'm curious if your DD is in honors and AP courses why you don’t feel she will be heading to a competitive university? Sorry if that’s off track; it just seems like most motivated students want to continue to challenge themselves. Of course it’s okay if she doesn’t know as a freshman (but boy do those years go fast!). 
 

 

[SanDiegoMom]

This is our first real year in high school (zoom year last year doesn't count IMO).  My twins are in 10th grade. My daughter is in two AP's, one honors and one elective.  (block semester schedule)   She dances around 12 hours a week, but it's heavier now with winter performance rehearsals.  She really races during school time to finish homework, and typically doesn't have more than 30 min to an hour at night.  She often has some on the weekend, but never more than a few hours.  

She is exhausted, but she doesn't thrive on being busy.  Second semester will be lighter and she will only have three classes. Hoping that will help.

My son has only three classes rn and dropped his AOPS class, so his schedule is light. One AP, one honors, and his extracurriculars are only around 5 hours a week.  He could do more, but he takes longer to find his way and really struggled to actually find an extracurricular to do.  He was stressed with his AOPS class, however, as it was really outside his comfort zone and was taking up so much bandwidth.  

[EmilyGF]

DS16 does a rigorous course-load (with added AoPS classes last year), is running cross country, and takes/teaches piano. He also is in Scouts.

Some nights he starts piano practice at 10 pm (argh). A few nights he's been up to midnight, but rarely. Usually he is done with work by 10 pm and then gets up at 6:15.

DD14 wanted to do swim team this year, her first at B&M school. I was pretty happy when she was cut from the team because I was having a hard time imagining her getting home after two hours of swimming and then doing homework. I wanted to see a solid semester of work before she kept that type of schedule. She's doing great (swimmingly?) and will probably play waterpolo in the spring. I also had her take a break from private flute lessons, since she decided against band and joined choir instead. She loves to write and has continued writing with a writers' group and has joined her school math team. She goes to bed by 9:30 most nights and is up at 6. I think she and her sisters talk in bed for a while before going to sleep.

Both my kids ride the bus to school and it takes them about 30-40 minutes to commute each way.

[vonfirmath]

We are trying to figure this out. Band takes up SO MUCH time that we're having a hard time fitting in homework and enough sleep.

 

(When he has after school band practice, it STARTS at 5p and goes to either 7 or 8. Other days they have before school practice from 7-8:30a). Then there are marching competitions and games that means they don't get home until -- well 10:30p last night was when they ended up at the band hall for parents to pick up.

 

Edited October 22, 2021 by vonfirmath

[teachermom2834]

38 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Mine took all honors and AP (and senior year, some college) classes and did sports year round. His sport was typically finished by 5 (winter indoor track could ocassionally run until 7-8 depending on track availability). Then shower, dinner and study until ~9. Freshman-junior year he usually fell asleep by 9 or 9:30; senior year was usually closer to 10-10:30. Up at 6. I’m a huge believer in quality sleep— I never needed to enforce it, but I would have protected sleep over nearly anything.

I'm curious if your DD is in honors and AP courses why you don’t feel she will be heading to a competitive university? Sorry if that’s off track; it just seems like most motivated students want to continue to challenge themselves. Of course it’s okay if she doesn’t know as a freshman (but boy do those years go fast!). 
 

 

About the university- as a family our kids have always gone to less competitive schools on big scholarships. It has worked out extremely well for them. They have been plenty challenged and had great experiences and good outcomes after college. So, it is really a family preference in approach. If she decided she wanted an elite university that would not be within financial reach. So we go for big scholarships at state schools and less competitive private schools. So, that is just the way I expect it to go with her, too. So I guess it is the experience of having done this three times through that makes me confident that isn't the approach she would take. And if she did, it would have to be organic and not an engineered approach of push, push, push in high school. Because that just isn't our philosophy. If it happens that way, fine, but we aren't designing her high school life to that end. 

Edited October 22, 2021 by teachermom2834

[prairiewindmomma]

My current high schooler isn’t a joiner. He comes home and needs down time. 
 

I think high school is the perfect time for kids to figure out how to wrangle a busy schedule. I try to let them do their thing and learn from it. Better now than during college, iykwim.

[teachermom2834]

Thanks, all. I definitely am not trying to micromanage her. Just asking how it goes for other families because, like I said, I'm trying to get a feel for what it looks like. 

I'm not afraid to let my kids fail so I will be all for letting her give it a go and find her sweet spot of busyness. She is my last left at home and I don't work so I really am available to support her in ways I wouldn't have when I had four kids at home. 

 

[Insertcreativenamehere]

I have 2 high schoolers right now. DS16 is a pretty serious athlete and also has a job one evening during the week and Saturdays during the day as well as an active social life. He is not as serious about his academics although he has As and Bs. He tends to be most of his homework after 8 pm regardless of his schedule because that's when he's most awake. 🙂

DS14 just started high school after being homeschooled since 1st grade. He also played soccer for the school team. He is more introverted than DD16 and also more serious about his academics. He had little trouble getting his schoolwork done in the evenings except for one time when he was out sick with a cold for three days and got behind. We had him miss one game to catch up. 

My kids have no interest in competitive universities and they will likely to go to one of a few liberal arts universities in our city. 

Edited October 22, 2021 by Insertcreativenamehere

[Kassia]

11 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Thanks, all. I definitely am not trying to micromanage her. Just asking how it goes for other families because, like I said, I'm trying to get a feel for what it looks like. 

I'm not afraid to let my kids fail so I will be all for letting her give it a go and find her sweet spot of busyness. She is my last left at home and I don't work so I really am available to support her in ways I wouldn't have when I had four kids at home. 

 

My kids were all so different.  One thrives on being busy and took a very heavy course load and did sports all year long and did fine.  I strongly advised him to lighten his course load but he didn't want to and did fine.  But he was BUSY and definitely didn't get enough sleep.  He would go to school, then practice or meets, then come home to hours of homework.  He always always had a school book open when he was home.  He did the same in college with heavy course load, working, and activities and had a great time/experience.  Now, as an adult, he still keeps an insane schedule.  He has a demanding job and works a lot of hours, has activities most nights of the week (volleyball leagues, disc golf, soccer, etc. plus he lifts weights and swims at the Y), and travels most weekends.  I don't know how he does it all. 

My other kids definitely couldn't have done well on a schedule like that.  They all worked and/or had activities in school but not at the same level as their brother.  Each seemed really good at knowing their limits and capabilities and I respected that.

[wintermom]

My dc always started high school courses at the highest level of academic classes available and then fit in the extra-curricular activities around that (they didn't do competitive sports). They'd make adjustments throughout the 4 years of high school, which often meant scaling back on extra-curricular activities/part-time job as the academic workload tends to ramp up in grade 11 and 12 in Ontario, Canada. COVID pretty much eliminated a lot of extra-curriculars the last 2 school years, too.

Our high school streams/levels in Ontario begin in grade 9, and it's much easier to level down than try to go up to a higher level later on. I don't know how things work in your state, but it's worth looking into so that future college options are the widest possible. We don't start AP courses until grade 12 (or grade 11 for physics) in Ontario. 

[teachermom2834]

4 minutes ago, wintermom said:

 

Our high school streams/levels in Ontario begin in grade 9, and it's much easier to level down than try to go up to a higher level later on. I don't know how things work in your state, but it's worth looking into so that future college options are the widest possible. We don't start AP courses until grade 12 (or grade 11 for physics) in Ontario. 

I definitely think it is easier to start at the highest level classes and scale back than to try to move up later on. So that will the plan. 

[rebcoola]

I was worried about time management when mine started this year to its been surprisingly fine.

She gets most of her school work done in school.  Even though they are challenging classes. Though not the same as APs since it's a project based stem school. It may get harder after first trimester as she officially moves into pre-calc at that point. She does activities though not as time consuming as band or competitive sports.  Two clubs, dog training, civil air patrol and drivers Ed.  

She stays up to late to get downtime she is used to having a lot of downtime so it's a adjustment 

[PeterPan]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

Just asking how it goes for other families because, like I said, I'm trying to get a feel for what it looks like. 

What are *you* planning to do? 

[teachermom2834]

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

What are *you* planning to do? 

I don’t understand the question. 

I’m planning to let her decide what she wants to take on and support her and see how it goes.

What are *you* implying? That a mother shouldn’t be involved in planning and guiding a 13 yo? And maybe planning how I will support her and help her be successful and how our lives might need to be adjusted?

Maybe you meant something else, but good gravy, the implication that I’m helicoptering a 13 yo going out to school for the first time is ridiculous. I’ve got three successfully functioning and independent adult children. 
 

I hope I misread and misunderstood. But it is hard to post anything on here without it turning around into parenting criticism. 

[Bootsie]

DD went to a brick-and-mortar school.  She was highly involved in activities and learned she had to pick and choose.  Some things she tried and learned they weren't for her; other things she didn't know she would enjoy so much became the activities she was most involved in.  She managed her schedule, figuring out what was important to her and how she would get it done.  Some weeks were busier than others; she was in drama and if it production week she knew she would be busy--so she knew she better get a head start with work for her classes in those weeks.  Overall, I think it was good a good experience of learning to make choices and living with the consequences of those choices; she was great at managing her time and school stress as she entered college.  

We were lucky that we lived relatively close to the school so commute times were reasonable.  She and her friends also learned how to help each other out.  Because we were nearby, friends might come to our house for dinner on nights they had an evening event; the friend would provide a ride home for DD on other days.  She also learned how to go to the library at school, or have some other productive use of her time, on days that DH or I could not pick her up exactly when she finished her activities or needed to drop her off at school early because we had somewhere to be that morning.  

[Lecka]

My son needs a lot of down time also.  He is not a joiner.  He has just joined one club that meets at lunch once in a while and it is good for him.  
 

He is at school 9:00 to 4:00 and he does not have that much homework.  He gets a lot of his homework done at school.  
 

It is his personality.

 

[SKL]

I have two daughters currently in 10th grade at public school.  (Ages 14 and just turned 15.)

This is going to be very individual.  Some kids can do a lot, and some can't.  Some should, some shouldn't.  🙂

For both of my kids, exercise is important, but one of them needs it much more for mental health reasons.  She is also the one who is most challenged by schoolwork.  My other kid has more personal interests, many individual vs. group.

Kid1:

• School 7:50-2:30.  Courses:
  • Honors chemistry
  • Honors English
  • Geometry
  • World history
  • Spanish
  • Elective (currently photography).
• Kid has been invited to join a "strong girls" type weekly program during lunch hour.  She has to decide by Monday.  I am in support of it.
• Kid goes to tutoring with the chemistry teacher 4 days/week from 2:30 to 3.
• Marching band - usually practice 2 hours 2x per week + 1 to 3 "band gigs" i.e. playing at a game, parade, or special event.  Total hours average about 12 per week I'd say.  This generally follows the fall sports schedule, but then they will still have occasional gigs and practices for parades and such.
  • Marching band has been the BEST THING for my kids in high school so far.  Worth every minute, dollar, and hassle.
  • Through 9th grade, my kids also had private lessons, but we stopped them as my kids weren't dedicated and aren't planning to do serious music in the future.
• Soccer (or other seasonal sport).  Normally practices or games 5-6 days per week.  Usual weekly time commitment would be about 12 hours if this were her only activity.  When activities overlap, games have first priority, and she takes turns with practices.
  • Full disclosure - she sprained her ankle in September, so soccer fell to last place on the priority list, since she can't contribute anyway.
• CERT (community emergency response team) training (not school-related).  This is a one-time thing, 9 weeks of 2.5 hours each.  It's on Wednesdays, but we can do online classes when there is something else more important.  This is kinda tough in the middle of the week, but I am pushing it because I think it's worth it.  Would have been better had it been offered in a different season!
• Taekwondo (not school-related):  we have a lot of flexibility as to when we attend, but as the kids' 3rd dan belt test was October 9, I did insist on attending classes whenever they didn't have a conflict.
• Homework:  could range from 1-6 hours per day.  We had a lot of trouble early on, with honors chemistry being the toughest, but she learned how to get help at school and pace herself better.  A normal school night has probably 2-3 hours of homework.
• Personal life:  family, puppy, friends outside of school, celebrations, volunteer work, health visits, self-care.  Most house responsibilities are subordinated to the above commitments (i.e. I ask her about her homework load before I assign evening tasks), but she generally gets her own meals because she is extremely picky.  ("Getting" her own food does not imply serious cooking.)

Kid2:

• School 7:50-2:30.  Courses:
  • Chemistry
  • Honors English
  • Geometry
  • World history
  • Spanish
  • Health
  • Elective (currently photography).
• Marching band - usually practice 2 hours 2x per week + 1 to 3 "band gigs" i.e. playing at a game, parade, or special event.  Total hours average about 12 per week I'd say.  This generally follows the fall sports schedule, but then they will still have occasional gigs and practices for parades and such.
  • Marching band has been the BEST THING for my kids in high school so far.  Worth every minute, dollar, and hassle.
  • Through 9th grade, my kids also had private lessons, but we stopped them as my kids weren't dedicated and aren't planning to do serious music in the future.
• Horse riding.  She has a "lease" which allows her to ride 3x per week, but this is flexible and other activities have priority.  When she goes to the barn, she has a lot of chores/duties and is there from 4-8 hours depending on the day.
• CERT (community emergency response team) training (not school-related).  This is a one-time thing, 9 weeks of 2.5 hours each.  A bit less hard on Kid2 as she rarely has any overlapping responsibilities.
• Taekwondo (not school-related):  we have a lot of flexibility as to when we attend, but as the kids' 3rd dan belt test was October 9, I did insist on attending classes whenever they didn't have a conflict.
• Homework:  ranges from 0-2 hours per night.  Most nights it's essentially zero for her, as she finds it easy to finish most work during school.
• Hobby activities:  cooking, crafts and projects, tinkering with music, etc.  Flexible but can take quite a few hours at times.
• Personal life, same as Kid1.  Because school is easier for her, she generally gets to bed on the early side and doesn't really have schedule issues to speak of.  She gets more pup duty since she has more free time.

Edited October 22, 2021 by SKL

[Sneezyone]

4 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

What kind of schedule do they keep? If they are involved in sports or other demanding activities when do they sleep? Get homework done? Are they ever home during the week other than to sleep? 

I posted a thread yesterday about my dd starting at a private high school next year for 9th grade. She is a joiner and will want to participate in as much as she can. She will also want to take the heaviest course load available to her. It isn’t a super competitive school but they do offer a significant slate of honors and AP classes and I expect she will take that route. 
 

She has started dancing more this year (in my attempt to fill up her life so that she could continue to homeschool). This week, with show rehearsals, she is dancing five nights until 8-9:00 pm. She can cut this back. She is not destined for a career in ballet. But she loves it and when I mentioned it might be tough to maintain with a school schedule she didn’t like the idea of cutting back at all.

She thrives on the busyness and I have a pretty high threshold for running her around. I realize other kids do these things and still keep up with school. But it is a little hard for me to picture what that looks like. I’m pretty used to homeschooling when a busy week of late nights meant you could sleep in an hour or two on Friday morning. 
 

What does this look like with busy high schoolers? If they have activities at night when do they sleep? Study? Just have down time? 
 

I want my dd to take rigorous classes because she is capable and interested. And I want her to participate in things because that fills her and that is why we are sending her to school. But I am not attached to her achieving any certain number of APs or any high level of success in her extra curriculars so I will be ok with her cutting back on things -but not sure she will be. She won’t be aiming for a competitive college so we don’t need to do all these things. But they will enrich her life.

Thoughts? I am struggling to get my head around what this will look like in reality. I feel like I remember having very long days and late nights in high school. Playing sports meant some late nights traveling home from away games, etc. It was ok and kept me organized and on track. But that was a long time ago and I’m not trusting my memory of the situation. 

DD usually does winter cheer (fall cheer too...once) so during the season she'll have either practice or games pretty much every night. The girls stay after school on game nights to get their homework done and have dinner together (parents take turns bringing food) and on non-game nights they come home and do their homework after practice. DD has, maybe, 2 hours of homework a night so far this year so it's very manageable. This year, DD has become active in Key Club too. She only takes honors classes in her areas of interest. In our district, taking a bunch of APs would mean you can't take a bunch of other things. Most of the APs are full year classes that take two slots (of 8 total for the year) so taking AP English, AP Physics and AP Calculus as a senior would leave a student with only two other classes for the whole year, one each semester. ETA: Freshman year and even sophomore year required a bit more trial and error than I would have liked but, now that DD is driving and has more control over her activities and scheduling, she's taken ownership of these management tasks. If she has club or information meetings, etc., she schedules everything, including car maintanance, and follows up with people. #adult-in-training

Edited October 22, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Emba]

DD is a sophomore. I have a low tolerance for running kids around, so we’ve limited her to two extra curriculars, until she gets her full driver’s license. She is not taking AP classes, and if she can’t keep up with school work and extra curriculars, (which was a problem last year) she has to cut back on extra curriculars.

 They have one period a day at her school that is study hall, and most of her homework gets done then. The only really late nights she has regularly are Friday nights when the band travels to football games, so Saturdays she can sleep in. Occasionally there are very annoying mid-week late nights for special events.  Not much Can be done about those, except to just say “nope, you’re going to have to sit this one out” if it won’t be feasible for some reason.

[GoodGrief3]

There's going to have to inevitably be some adjustments/tradeoffs for a kid who was very busy with activities as a homeschooler. There's just not much flexibility in the brick and mortar schedules.

For my oldest, the decision to attend public school meant that for her comp figure skating was no longer realistic, if she wanted to continue in back to back theatre productions. If she had been involved in school sports, I doubt she could have kept up theatre either. She did eventually go to a part time homeschool schedule and could work some additional activities in.

My youngest was full time public high school for two years, has been part time since Covid. She did an after school sport, so was gone from 7 A-5P daily. She is honors track, so there's a fair amount of homework, but she was asleep by 9 most nights.

Actually all of mine were asleep by 9-ish during high school. Never found lack of sleep to be a big issue.

 

[AngieC]

My senior is in marching band and has been every year with a full load of advanced classes.  Some nights she is short of sleep and catches up when she can or on the weekend.  Occasionally she's up late doing homework, but she's learned to get as much done in class or anytime she has 15 spare minutes.  It's definitely a balancing act and while she loves band and (and I agree with SKL, it is worth every penny), it's a huge commitment here (easily 20 hours per week for the next 6 weeks) and she's always exhausted and glad when it's done.  I don't think she could keep such a full schedule for the entire school year.

My freshman swims with a full advanced course load, so he's currently home at 6:00pm, with one extra activity on Wednesday nights that keeps him out until 9:00pm.  So far, this has been easily manageable - he has anywhere between 30 minutes-1.5 hours of homework per night and still wastes 2 hours on the computer before bed.  Starting this Monday, he will have morning swim practices at 6:00am and then 18 swim meets over the next few months in the evenings.  I suspect he's either going to decide to go to bed earlier or things will get ugly around here due to lack of sleep.  Heck, I'm not sure how I'm going to manage the 5:25am wake up 4 days per week!  This kid isn't terribly sociable, so he spends as much of his non-school/swim time on the computer as he is allowed (which is too much), but he does need the down time.

[Tree Frog]

7 hours ago, PeterPan said:

What are *you* planning to do? 

 

7 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I don’t understand the question. 

I’m planning to let her decide what she wants to take on and support her and see how it goes.

What are *you* implying? That a mother shouldn’t be involved in planning and guiding a 13 yo? And maybe planning how I will support her and help her be successful and how our lives might need to be adjusted?

Maybe you meant something else, but good gravy, the implication that I’m helicoptering a 13 yo going out to school for the first time is ridiculous. I’ve got three successfully functioning and independent adult children. 
 

I hope I misread and misunderstood. But it is hard to post anything on here without it turning around into parenting criticism. 

I read this as "what are you going to do with the extra time you have with your dd in high school?" It was not a completely explained question and maybe I'm coming from the direction of too much time on my hands. 🤷

My ds took AP's, did band, and held a job in his senior year of high school. The years prior, he didn't have a job. It was a crazy season and he didn't get a lot of sleep, but he did fine. He figured out how to manage and prioritize his time, which has proven helpful in college. He usually had some of his books with him and every time he had an extra 15 min, he was doing homework. It helped that many students in the band were also in AP and honor courses. He went to bed late and frequently slept till noon on the weekends he didn't have band competitions.

Edited October 23, 2021 by wilrunner

[teachermom2834]

4 minutes ago, wilrunner said:

 

I read this as "what are you going to do with the extra time you have with your dd in high school?" It was not a completely explained question and maybe I'm coming from the direction of too much time on my hands. 🤷

My ds took AP's, did band, and held a job in his senior year of high school. The years prior, he didn't have a job. It was a crazy season and he didn't get a lot of sleep, but he did fine. He figured out how to manage and prioritize his time, which has proven helpful in college. He usually had some of his books with him and every time he had an extra 15 min, he was doing homework. It helped that many students in the band were also in AP and honor courses. He went to bed late and frequently slept till noon on the weekends he didn't have band competitions.

Thank you for that explanation of what that comment likely meant. It is much nicer and makes way more sense than the way I took it- which honestly was confusing so I am glad to have an alternative explanation 🙂

Well if dd goes to the school we are considering (and even if she ends up at a different local school) at least the first couple years it will require a fair amount of running and support from me. So that is what I will be doing. Which isn’t too different than what I do now, honestly. And yes, that is a change in circumstance that bears consideration. 
 

I expect that my dd will be one to do okay with a full schedule and squeeze in her homework and sleep when she can (and she is known to go all night on a power nap she caught in the car).

Thanks! It will be an adjustment but I like all the stories of busy kids that did ok. I certainly know those kids in real life too. But we will definitely be open to adjustments as necessary. 

[KungFuPanda]

On 10/22/2021 at 10:06 AM, teachermom2834 said:

What kind of schedule do they keep? If they are involved in sports or other demanding activities when do they sleep? Get homework done? Are they ever home during the week other than to sleep? 

I posted a thread yesterday about my dd starting at a private high school next year for 9th grade. She is a joiner and will want to participate in as much as she can. She will also want to take the heaviest course load available to her. It isn’t a super competitive school but they do offer a significant slate of honors and AP classes and I expect she will take that route. 
 

She has started dancing more this year (in my attempt to fill up her life so that she could continue to homeschool). This week, with show rehearsals, she is dancing five nights until 8-9:00 pm. She can cut this back. She is not destined for a career in ballet. But she loves it and when I mentioned it might be tough to maintain with a school schedule she didn’t like the idea of cutting back at all.

She thrives on the busyness and I have a pretty high threshold for running her around. I realize other kids do these things and still keep up with school. But it is a little hard for me to picture what that looks like. I’m pretty used to homeschooling when a busy week of late nights meant you could sleep in an hour or two on Friday morning. 
 

What does this look like with busy high schoolers? If they have activities at night when do they sleep? Study? Just have down time? 
 

I want my dd to take rigorous classes because she is capable and interested. And I want her to participate in things because that fills her and that is why we are sending her to school. But I am not attached to her achieving any certain number of APs or any high level of success in her extra curriculars so I will be ok with her cutting back on things -but not sure she will be. She won’t be aiming for a competitive college so we don’t need to do all these things. But they will enrich her life.

Thoughts? I am struggling to get my head around what this will look like in reality. I feel like I remember having very long days and late nights in high school. Playing sports meant some late nights traveling home from away games, etc. It was ok and kept me organized and on track. But that was a long time ago and I’m not trusting my memory of the situation. 

When my daughter went to high school, she got busier but it got WAY easier for me. Imagine, ALL of your classes and activities happening in ONE building that your kid can walk to. I was liberated because that girl had a lot going on. It sounds funny and ridiculous but I marveled at the concept after years of driving to different buildings for every last thing. 
 

In high school, Dd switched from dance classes to musical theatre and choir instead, so that made it easy for me. Some days her walk was dark both ways. She was insanely busy, but she really loved it and thrived. 

[kirstenhill]

I have two in public school for high school.  My DD17 is less of a "joiner" and wasn't interested in as many activities at school.  She has a job that runs April to early October each year, so for the several weeks that this overlaps school in the fall and spring, we do feel like we don't see her all that much since she would typically be working several shifts per week.  During the rest of the year, she would stay after school for a club maybe once or twice a week, and have plenty of time in the evening for homework and hobbies.  She has taken a mid-level load of classes with some honors/AP classes each year and some "regular" classes.  She isn't a super fast worker, so she didn't want to overload too heavily.  Despite having a decent amount of time when it isn't the work season, she still often stays up late because she's a night owl and procrastinates homework in favor of hobbies more often than she should.

DS14 is very different, and so far besides the activity he already did (Mountain Bike team, not through school) he has joined the debate team and the math team.  In October all three activities have overlapped.  He had 2 nights per week where he went from one activity to the next (2 in the same night) and two nights with only one activity, plus weekend meets/tournaments for biking and debate.  I can't wait for biking to be over!  All these are fall/early winter activities, but I have a suspicion that he will join more clubs when these end.  So far even though he has as challenging of a class load as a freshman could take, he has very little homework.  He is a fast worker and has a study hall (9th graders are required to have a study hall unless they are in a music ensemble), so he still seems to have a bit of free time and rarely stays up past 10pm.  I'm sure the class load will get more difficult as he goes.

[kiwik]

My 14 year old is in high school.  School is 8.45 to 3.15.  All his activities are non school based.  Table tennis Monday, tennis Tuesday, Work Thursday, meet up with a friend most Fridays, work Sunday and often D&D Saturday.  Next year exams start and he will have to do regular homework but now it is still only occasional.

[hippymamato3]

My 12 year old DD is a freshman. She has all honors classes, plus chorus, and is currently a peer coach for Special Olympics and is in Key Club and on the Cross Country team. She is usually home by 5:30 and then gets homework done before falling into bed earlier than she did when she was homeschooled.