We don't need Elf on a Shelf...

[Katy]

Because Mommy knows Santa. And Santa already knows everything anyway.

When did Mommy knowing Santa cease to be good enough? At this particular point I can rarely get the clothes in the dryer hung up or folded before they wrinkle.  I definitely don't have time to pose a mischievous elf every night.  Do people who do this tradition really have that much fun with it?

[gardenmom5]

saw a good elf on the shelf picture.

 

 

[busymama7]

Ours just moves around the house. And yes I think it is fun. I have rarely forgotten and even if I did my husband or older kids will do it in the morning. It is super simple and takes 3 secs but I do have to establish the habit again each year. If I had to be creative then yeah I wouldn't think that was much fun. But I just move him. They LOVE waking up in the am and going to find him. 

[Frances]

We never did either Santa knows if you are behaving or Elf on the Shelf. 

Edited March 11, 2019 by Frances

[Junie]

21 minutes ago, Frances said:

We never did either Santa knows if you are behaving or Elf on the Shelf. When my son found out about these practices as a teen, he had major issues with it, as he sees it as basically lying to your children to manipulate them into behaving. But he’s a very sensitive, deep thinker. I think he would have preferred we told him from the beginning that Santa wasn’t real. I’m really glad we never took it further than Santa lives at the North Pole and brings presents on Christmas, as it wouldn’t have been a good fit for his personality.

I have one like this, too.

We never did Santa or Elf on the Shelf.

[JustEm]

We got an elf a few years ago but never did the whole naughty or nice thing. Dh enjoyed moving the elf every night and the kids loved searching for him/ telling him what they wanted. Out elf never does mischievous things. The 3 older kids now move him around for the younger 2. It is fun.

We don't really do Santa, although the kids do believe. So, the idea of them thinking I know Santa and I'll tell Santa what they want is too close to lie for my comfort.

I say don't do it if you don't want to. No  family can do all the traditions.

Edited December 14, 2018 by hjffkj

[DesertBlossom]

My mom said she believed in Santa much longer than most kids and remembers arguing with friends at school about his existence. She told her friends "My mom said he's real and she wouldn't lie to me." Needless to say, my mom was pretty devastated when her mom told her the truth and caused her to question other things she was taught. But my mom was a pretty sensitive person. I know most kids don't react that way.  

We've never done EotS or told my kids that Santa was watching. They hear about Santa enough from other places to go through a short believing phase. But we literally don't really bring it up at all ever unless one of my kids specifically asks. (though we have talked about the original St. Nick) I don't think teaching kids about Santa is a bad thing and I don't think EotS is a bad thing either-- but I feel like I have a hard enough time making sure that we put more emphasis on Jesus than the gifts. I definitely do not have the time or mental energy for moving an elf.

[Junie]

26 minutes ago, DesertBlossom said:

My mom said she believed in Santa much longer than most kids and remembers arguing with friends at school about his existence. She told her friends "My mom said he's real and she wouldn't lie to me." Needless to say, my mom was pretty devastated when her mom told her the truth and caused her to question other things she was taught. But my mom was a pretty sensitive person. I know most kids don't react that way.  

We've never done EotS or told my kids that Santa was watching. They hear about Santa enough from other places to go through a short believing phase. But we literally don't really bring it up at all ever unless one of my kids specifically asks. (though we have talked about the original St. Nick) I don't think teaching kids about Santa is a bad thing and I don't think EotS is a bad thing either-- but I feel like I have a hard enough time making sure that we put more emphasis on Jesus than the gifts. I definitely do not have the time or mental energy for moving an elf.

This was me, too, including telling my friends at school.  I think I took it especially hard because my mom is so outspoken about hating lying.  Lying was seen as the worst.sin.ever. in her book (or at least how I read it).  I was embarrassed and angry when I found out.

[*****]

I'm sure glad this came out after my kids got too old.  We had done the Leprechaun thing because it was fun initially.  But by the 5-6th year, I was done trying to be creative and wished I had never started the whole thing!  So do what feels right to you and don't feel guilty!  (It sure was a good marketing gimmick, wasn't it?!)

I tutor a 3rd grade student and he asked me if I had EOTS, which I could say I didn't because my kids were grown.  He seems to totally believe. But he has a girl and boy one apparently and he had to announce to me one day, "Man, I came out in the morning and they were doing it!"  I tried to play dumb and asked if he meant like were they kissing?  "No!  Don't you know what that means when they are doing it?!"    OK, time to begin our lesson!     I so miss the innocence of children!   Maybe an older sibling arranged them that way or maybe his dad thought it would be funny,  but it's just sad! 

[CAJinBE]

We missed this trend and I'm glad. Christmas has enough excitement for kids already. We don't need another distraction from the reason for the season. My sister's family has fun with it and it doesn't bother me at all, just glad my kids were too old when it started. I don't even know when it became a thing.

[Carrie12345]

I HATE the elf. Hate, hate, hate. Thanks a bunch, Grandma. 😒

Most years, he has lots of delays. I think there's only been 1 so far this year b/c my sleep schedule is weird. I'm up way before the kids and usually notice now.

I try to play along because I feel horrible about my grinchines. This is year 21 of making magical holidays and I am so burned out! The youngest is about to turn 8, and I'm hoping the end (of the pretend magic, not the "real" magic) is near, but I think even my 11yo is trying to hold on.  I had considered going pretend-free after the first three kids.  The guilt just wouldn't let me go through with it, and here we are with the last two!

Frankly, I'm astonished they haven't figured it out.  Or maybe they have and I'm a giant sucker!

 

[HomeAgain]

We made the decision when the youngest was a toddler: no elf. 
1. I don't believe that inviting a spy into the house is a good thing.
2. it's more pressure on the kid to be perfect, instead of giving grace. SOMEONE is always watching.
3. Our holiday traditions have a different focus.  We have a secular Christmas, but we springboard off of Thanksgiving, where we celebrate having *enough*, Christmas is about taking the excess and sharing with others.  The elf doesn't fit into that.


I had a kid who would have had high emotions when it came to the elf and what it was supposed to do.  It would have made all our lives miserable and given him nightmares.  I don't regret not bringing that thing into my house one bit.

[BlsdMama]

9 hours ago, DesertBlossom said:

My mom said she believed in Santa much longer than most kids and remembers arguing with friends at school about his existence. She told her friends "My mom said he's real and she wouldn't lie to me." Needless to say, my mom was pretty devastated when her mom told her the truth and caused her to question other things she was taught. But my mom was a pretty sensitive person. I know most kids don't react that way.  

 

Actually, I know a surprising amount of kids who were hurt by the Santa lie.

The ironic thing is that it is mostly (I would assume) Christian parents who carry on the Santa myth and we opted not to do because it's really hard to say, "Yes, Santa is real and you can't see him," and, "God is real and you can't see him," then explain that you were just carrying on in good fun about Santa....  Maybe I'm an over-thinker too.  We stopped doing Santa when I became a believer.  My kids know other kids and we try not to ruin the illusion, but I think the whole thing is sketchy.  As to Elf on a Shelf -  ((Shudder))  He's creepy.

[Wheres Toto]

No Elf on a Shelf.  I think my kids were older when it became super-popular?  I'm not the type to jump on that kind of bandwagon so it may just be that I didn't really think about it until they were older.  I don't miss it at all.

If you want to laugh (and don't mind a little raunchy), watch the clip from this week's SNL with Jason Mamoa as an Elf on the Shelf.

[May]

We never did the Santa thing with our daughters. Our focus on Christmas was/is the birth of Our Savior. Our daughter is now married to someone whose family did Santa. It will be interesting to see what they do when/if they ever have kids. 🎄🎄

[SamanthaCarter]

At our house Christmas is about the incarnation of Christ and our celebration of that. We don’t do fictional characters who are supposedly assessing whether you are good enough to recieve gifts.

My kiddos know that Santa and Elf on the Shelf are fun stories people like at Christmastime. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Nope.  I want a simple Christmas, and it's materialistic enough, without a constant reminder: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOOT!

We celebrate St. Nicolas's feast day in a traditional European/Catholic way, but have never done Santa as anything other than a story that sprang up from St. Nick.  

[Caclcoca]

My mom bought my kids an elf when they first came out. We moved him around that first year, but that thing is creepy. I didn't pull him out the next year, and the kids never asked about him. I threw him away. I am glad that I got rid of him before all of the elaborate elf on the shelf stuff became popular. 

[Xahm]

I'm very glad my kids don't know the elf. They know there are decorations that look like that, but that's the extent of it. We play Santa at our house and stress that out is very rude to ever interrupt someone's game and tell them it's just pretend. My six year old is into the pretend this year. My five year old is more literal, but he knows not to tell other kids. He does ask me whether or not other kids believe or are just pretending. I tell him I don't know but that I assume it's a mix.

[marbel]

11 hours ago, Frances said:

We never did either Santa knows if you are behaving or Elf on the Shelf. When my son found out about these practices as a teen, he had major issues with it, as he sees it as basically lying to your children to manipulate them into behaving. But he’s a very sensitive, deep thinker. I think he would have preferred we told him from the beginning that Santa wasn’t real. I’m really glad we never took it further than Santa lives at the North Pole and brings presents on Christmas, as it wouldn’t have been a good fit for his personality.

 

My husband and I were conflicted about Santa when our kids were little. We both grew up with Santa; I was one who believed too late and was embarrassed on the school bus one day. I went home crying and felt betrayed when my mother finally had to tell me the truth. So when we had kids we said we would never lie about it, and Santa wasn't a big thing. When our oldest was 4, he asked outright if Santa was real, and we said no. We read a book about St Nicholas and how that started the Santa idea. We told him and his sister it wasn't up to them to tell other kids if they believed, and reminded them every year for a while.  As far as I know, they never told anyone.

So even if they had been little when EotS appeared, we wouldn't have done it. We fail at daily things like that anyway.  Never managed to do daily Advent readings, Jesse tree activities, Advent calendars... In a way, I do admire people who can fun things with it, but I don't wish to be them. 

We all think the thing looks evil, so there's that too.  :-)

[SKL]

Yeah, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good...."

When my kids were preschoolers, one year they saw all the presents under the tree and one of them said to the other, "we been good!"  I'm sure they were worried about that ... and I remember being worried myself as a kid that I was probably too naughty for Santa's standards, LOL.

Elf on the Shelf sounds fun but stressful.  I couldn't even keep up with the tooth fairy after a point.  No way I could handle the elf without therapy.

[HomeAgain]

Regarding Santa, we've never had issues.  We make very slow transitions to being Santa instead of the recipient, so by the time the magic is lost there's a different kind of magic.  Every year starting from about preschool age we do the Angel Tree and find gifts for someone the same age.  We do secret things for people in our community.  Santa (the figure) was kept at a minimum: he brings one gift.  By the time a kid asks, they're old enough to understand that Santa is the word we use for unconditional giving - no thanks are needed, no relationship is requested, only a need or a want fulfilled.

[vonfirmath]

12 hours ago, Katy said:

Because Mommy knows Santa. And Santa already knows everything anyway.

When did Mommy knowing Santa cease to be good enough? At this particular point I can rarely get the clothes in the dryer hung up or folded before they wrinkle.  I definitely don't have time to pose a mischievous elf every night.  Do people who do this tradition really have that much fun with it?

 

My kids went to a child care that did Elf in the SHelf.  My son loved walking in and trying to spot where he was today.

 

The cute pictures online... are like most things. People tend to post online the elaborate and cute. Not the day to day just moving it for the kids to find the next morning (like Spot Waldo). 

 

Saying this: we don't do The Elf (or Santa, really) at our house.

[vonfirmath]

2 hours ago, May said:

We never did the Santa thing with our daughters. Our focus on Christmas was/is the birth of Our Savior. Our daughter is now married to someone whose family did Santa. It will be interesting to see what they do when/if they ever have kids. 🎄🎄

 

My husband and I both had families that did SAnta as a kid. We were not scarred or anything, but still mutually agreed not to do it with our kids.

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Yeah, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good...."

When my kids were preschoolers, one year they saw all the presents under the tree and one of them said to the other, "we been good!"  I'm sure they were worried about that ... and I remember being worried myself as a kid that I was probably too naughty for Santa's standards, LOL.

Elf on the Shelf sounds fun but stressful.  I couldn't even keep up with the tooth fairy after a point.  No way I could handle the elf without therapy.

 

WE don't do the tooth fairy. Daddy has a "tooth collection" and gives out dollars for teeth turned in to him (or, if the tooth has been lost, a picture/story about the tooth's adventures)

[Guest]

For several years,  DH would create little scenes out of legos-sometimes adding new ones, with a written step of an ongoing, very rambling story. As DD got older, sometimes she would create a next step for him as well. Unfortunately, she eventually stopped being interested in legos, and it fizzled.

I think that DH probably would have LOVED doing Elf on a Shelf as far as coming up with cool things to do each night for a few weeks-except that we never did the "Santa" part of Christmas, so there was no place for an Elf in there. He has set up things a few times for our Nieces when we are visiting there, since they do it. I can also see older kids/teens really enjoying coming up with ideas for little ones (I think DD would get into it and have fun with it if she had a younger child to play with-she's just too "Grown up" to play the child role now).

[lavender's green]

I know a lot of families who have all sorts of silly fun with EOTS. And good for them! It's just not my thing, though. I like a quiet, simple Christmas, which is increasingly difficult as my kids get bigger and more involved in the community. There's a lot more saying "no" this time of year, just to maintain sanity. I don't need an elf on my plate, as well.

We do Santa, but in a really casual, don't-care-if-we're-found-out way. I was another kid who believed for way too long and was scarred by it. OTOH I think if you go about it right it can be harmless fun. We gently start introducing the concept of Santa being a fun game that we're all in on. All of which is to say: we're not going to go out of our way to invent "proofs" of his existence.

[Farrar]

We always "did" Santa as a game. I always told my kids it was just a pretend play thing we did for fun but that mama and daddy (sigh, back then, they didn't call me Farrar) were the ones bringing the presents. Dh had a bad reaction when he realized as a kid that his parents had been lying to him. And I just objected lying to kids in general. I get why people do it - I'm just saying for me, personally, it never sat right. But my kids loved playing the game of it and leaving out things and meeting a dress up Santa and all that stuff. With that in mind, it's hard for me to think that we missed out on any special Christmas "magic" or anything.

I've always thought EOTS was creepy **, so I've never been willing to do that. I was saying it's preparing kids for the police state way before that article said it.

However, for YEARS, I did do way too much for Christmas in December, because I'd do a treasure hunt every single morning. The first clue was in the little door. These were reading and thinking challenges for the kids. When they were really little, they'd just be sounding out words like "RUG" and "TUB" to find the next clue. By the time they were 9 or so, I had to think of riddles and stuff. Oy. It always just led to a couple of Hershey kisses or something along those lines. But so much work.

[moonflower]

We also don't lie about Santa and never in a zillion years would we do the elf.  It seems so mean--spirited.

[Katy]

5 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

We have never done Elf on the Shelf.  I never had it as a kid and I never saw a reason to create a new tradition like that.  I have enough to do this time of year without having to remember move a freaking doll around the house every night.  I barely remember to leave tooth fairy money.  

 

I was a kid who believed in Santa all the way through 5th grade, and was arguing with kids in class.  But, it didn't really bother me to find out, I guess maybe because everyone else's parents did the same thing, like the whole world was in on it, it was just normal.  

It was the jack o lantern pumpkin trick that my mom pulled when I was like 3rd grade that bothered me lol.

 

Please share that story!

1 hour ago, Farrar said:

We always "did" Santa as a game. I always told my kids it was just a pretend play thing we did for fun but that mama and daddy (sigh, back then, they didn't call me Farrar) were the ones bringing the presents. Dh had a bad reaction when he realized as a kid that his parents had been lying to him. And I just objected lying to kids in general. I get why people do it - I'm just saying for me, personally, it never sat right. But my kids loved playing the game of it and leaving out things and meeting a dress up Santa and all that stuff. With that in mind, it's hard for me to think that we missed out on any special Christmas "magic" or anything.

I've always thought EOTS was creepy **, so I've never been willing to do that. I was saying it's preparing kids for the police state way before that article said it.

However, for YEARS, I did do way too much for Christmas in December, because I'd do a treasure hunt every single morning. The first clue was in the little door. These were reading and thinking challenges for the kids. When they were really little, they'd just be sounding out words like "RUG" and "TUB" to find the next clue. By the time they were 9 or so, I had to think of riddles and stuff. Oy. It always just led to a couple of Hershey kisses or something along those lines. But so much work.

 

That is kind of amazing!

[kirag714]

We did Santa at my house. I did have one child who told me that she knew Santa was real because I would never lie to her, and yes that gutted me a bit. But within the year she had figured it out and it was totally not traumatic for her. She then loved bringing the magic to her younger siblings (which I had loved to do as a child also)! My mother would never quite admit that Santa wasn't real ;) - she called him the spirit of giving - and I think that has been what we brought to our family as well.

And at this point my kids are ages 18-26 and love giving gifts to their siblings even more than receiving them!

But I am so glad that they were too old for EOTS! Beside the creepy factor, I think I would have been tempted to go completely overboard with it. I feel like I dodged a bullet!

[Farrar]

My funny elf story is that I mocked it so harshly when I was with sil at a Christmas thing - it was an exhibit of fancy gingerbread houses and two had EOTS themes. And she totally went along and laughed... and only later did I realize that they do EOTS! I was like, oh my gosh, she could have totally been offended by that. Thank goodness she thought it was funny. So I guess some people do it... but have a sense of humor about how dumb it can be.