Modesty Vent ahead

[SquirrellyMama]

My dd17 is on a high school swim team, and practices began on Monday. She told me about a talk the trainer gave them yesterday. They were told they could not come to the training room in their swimsuits because there would be boys in there, and they should not let the boys see them in their suits. She then said that no one needs to see that. She also talked about issues with trainers (adults) and students so they should not wear their suits so the adults aren't tempted by them. These were not the exact words used, but this was the impression left on the girls.

So, these teen girls are being told they will distract the football players, and get themselves molested because they are wearing swimsuits. Why do we tell our girls this crap? I've been telling my dd this is a load of crap since she was 12. Her youth group had one of the most horrifying modesty talks I've ever heard. She came away from that confused and afraid she'd wear the wrong thing.

My dd said they should have just told them they didn't want them dripping on the floor. She could have understood that.

Kelly

[Jean in Newcastle]

What are you going to do about it?

[HomeAgain]

? I'd be raising holy hell on that front. I don't fight many battles for my kids once they're in high school, but that was so inappropriate that I'd be in the principal's office with the trainer and make it known that under no circumstances is my child responsible for anyone else's behavior, especially when it crosses that line. I'd also be demanding that the boys and staff get a "do not rape" talk if they're going to put that on the girls.

[SKL]

Weird - even though I prefer modesty (up to a point), I thought swimsuits on the swim team was an understood exception.  If they are that offended by the swimsuits, why don't they provide suits that are less offensive?

[SKL]

I mean obviously there are appropriate times and places to wear swimsuits, and that is enough to say.  You wouldn't wear a swimsuit to Algebra class or to a wedding.  Seems too obvious to need saying though.

I would also be OK with them providing a cover-up and offering it as an option to wear while not actually swimming.  Many/most girls would appreciate it.

[kitten18]

4 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

? I'd be raising holy hell on that front. I don't fight many battles for my kids once they're in high school, but that was so inappropriate that I'd be in the principal's office with the trainer and make it known that under no circumstances is my child responsible for anyone else's behavior, especially when it crosses that line. I'd also be demanding that the boys and staff get a "do not rape" talk if they're going to put that on the girls.

I totally agree. I would be LIVID, I’m pretty worked up just reading the post!

[SquirrellyMama]

9 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

What are you going to do about it?

I'll have to think about it. I've been trying to raise my girls to know this is a load of bull, and to speak up for themselves. Anything I do will be after swim season. I'm not doing anything to jeopardize her season. I shouldn't do anything when I'm upset. 

My rebellious side would be to tell a group of swimmers to go to the training room in their suits. And, if there are shirtless football players, she should tell the trainer that they are distracting her and she might attack them.

Kelly

[Katy]

I don't think it's appropriate to tell girls to just go to the weight room in their suits.  I DO think it's appropriate to go straight to the principal and use her help to figure out what the h*** was going on. If this is some creepy religious purity thing it's completely inappropriate, as is a faculty member spreading rape culture. I wonder if this was actually directed at one or two girls who were doing something inappropriate, and the coach needs help with more appropriate ways to address that.

[SquirrellyMama]

6 minutes ago, Katy said:

I don't think it's appropriate to tell girls to just go to the weight room in their suits.  I DO think it's appropriate to go straight to the principal and use her help to figure out what the h*** was going on. If this is some creepy religious purity thing it's completely inappropriate, as is a faculty member spreading rape culture. I wonder if this was actually directed at one or two girls who were doing something inappropriate, and the coach needs help with more appropriate ways to address that.

My dd said they get this talk every year, but it is usually super fast. Almost like it is required so they get it over as fast as possible. There is a new trainer this year, and this woman just went on and on. 

This isn't my daughter's school. Our district doesn't have a team so she goes to the next town north to swim. I'll talk to my dd and see what she thinks. It will be a good discussion starter. We talked some this morning before she went to practice. I won't see her again until she's back from work tonight. 

I'm just so surprised by the crap I still hear. We left one church, not due to the modesty talk, but it was one reason for me. We started at another church, and the moment this started coming up I started speaking out. I can't listen to women talking about asking their husbands if what they are wearing is appropriate. These are grown women. Or, the girl who said her dad was a MS teacher and how he had to see these girls dressed in a way that could tempt him. Seriously, if he's tempted by a 12 year old girl, he has a problem.

Kelly

[Katy]

1 minute ago, SquirrellyMama said:

My dd said they get this talk every year, but it is usually super fast. Almost like it is required so they get it over as fast as possible. There is a new trainer this year, and this woman just went on and on. 

This isn't my daughter's school. Our district doesn't have a team so she goes to the next town north to swim. I'll talk to my dd and see what she thinks. It will be a good discussion starter. We talked some this morning before she went to practice. I won't see her again until she's back from work tonight. 

I'm just so surprised by the crap I still hear. We left one church, not due to the modesty talk, but it was one reason for me. We started at another church, and the moment this started coming up I started speaking out. I can't listen to women talking about asking their husbands if what they are wearing is appropriate. These are grown women. Or, the girl who said her dad was a MS teacher and how he had to see these girls dressed in a way that could tempt him. Seriously, if he's tempted by a 12 year old girl, he has a problem.

Kelly

 

Ewww.  Yes, that's a problem.

[Bluegoat]

So - what is the "training room".  If it means like a gym room, yeah, I'd be saying neither girls or boys should be there in their swim suits.

I don't know about the girls being given a particular impression.  Sometimes people hear what they expect to hear, and that's especially so of teen girls.

 

 

[SquirrellyMama]

1 minute ago, Bluegoat said:

So - what is the "training room".  If it means like a gym room, yeah, I'd be saying neither girls or boys should be there in their swim suits.

I don't know about the girls being given a particular impression.  Sometimes people hear what they expect to hear, and that's especially so of teen girls.

 

 

It is the athletic training room. If they are injured they go in there. So, there are often athletes in there coming from their practices. 

I agree that a wet, dripping swimsuit is not the best thing for equipment. That is how it should have been worded. 

[Bluegoat]

Just now, SquirrellyMama said:

It is the athletic training room. If they are injured they go in there. So, there are often athletes in there coming from their practices. 

I agree that a wet, dripping swimsuit is not the best thing for equipment. That is how it should have been worded. 

 

It's not just about being wet for me.  I don't really like to see shirtless guys or women in barely anything in the gym.  

[HomeAgain]

3 minutes ago, Bluegoat said:

 

It's not just about being wet for me.  I don't really like to see shirtless guys or women in barely anything in the gym.  

Don't look.

The old saying, "your rights end where mine begins" applies here quite well.

[SquirrellyMama]

1 minute ago, Bluegoat said:

 

It's not just about being wet for me.  I don't really like to see shirtless guys or women in barely anything in the gym.  

I get it. I don't think they are telling the boys they can't be shirtless. I would also like to know if the boys swim team is also told they can't wear their Speedos in the training room.

[Clemsondana]

I would have no problem with them defining appropriate training room attire - you can wear athletic shorts (or whatever is appropriate), tennis shoes, and shirts, since that's a neutral way to spell out the dress code - swimsuits, cleats, slides and anything else that doesn't belong isn't allowed and everybody is clothed in something that is appropriate for mixed company and the activity that they're participating in at that time.  I seem to remember that the gym at our public college had a sign in the weight room specifying similar attire - there were no shirtless guys or girls in just a sports bra (I'm sure that it had more to do with sweaty equipment than modesty, but everybody wore a shirt of some sort). The rest of it is just weird.  

[SKL]

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm getting the picture.  I totally agree with not wearing a swim team swimsuit (wet or dry) to use weight room equipment.  That involves being in positions where a swimsuit would not provide appropriate cover, and it is possible that some of the young girls may not realize this.  It may be unfortunate, but some teens do need to be told some things we wish were obvious.  Like the use of deodorant etc.  Depending on the situation, I feel for teachers in that position.

I also agree that the words used may have been filtered by the attitude in which it was received, which happens very often.

[Library Momma]

This is bizarre because usually you only go to see the trainer if you are injured.  They are telling girls that if they are injured they have to first change their clothes before they can get assistance??!!  Sounds like a lawsuit in the making.  Is this a public school?

[SquirrellyMama]

Just to clarify, this is not a gym or weight room. This is the Athletic Training room where they go when injured. If they are injured and can't practice they won't be in their swimsuits anyway. 

I'm wondering what happens if they get injured during practice and need to go see the Athletic Trainer. What if their injury makes it hard for them to change?

When I said not the exact words I meant that the word "tempt" was not used, but that is what was implied. They were talking about inappropriate interactions between trainers/coaches that have been in the news and were warning against wearing their suits to avoid it. And, I don't understand this because their coaches are all male. What are they supposed to do? My dd was really confused by this also. I don't think this talk was well thought out.

Kelly

Edited August 10, 2018 by SquirrellyMama

[SquirrellyMama]

3 minutes ago, Library Momma said:

This is bizarre because usually you only go to see the trainer if you are injured.  They are telling girls that if they are injured they have to first change their clothes before they can get assistance??!!  Sounds like a lawsuit in the making.  Is this a public school?

Agreed, what if they hurt their shoulder, and can't get out of their suit, or put on a shirt? It is a public school. I have a friend who has kids there. I might get in touch with her to see what her daughter and son have been told. One is a cheerleader and the other plays football. 

Kelly

[Sneezyone]

I was an athletic trainer asst. in high school. Guys come in there all the time after practice sweaty, funky, shirtless, etc. and present their feet for taping, shoulders for a massage, etc. Sometimes they're carried in there. None of them have to change FIRST to receive medical treatment.

ETA: None of that was/is appealing.

Edited August 10, 2018 by Sneezyone

[Gracie Ann]

The desired result- that swimmers should wear appropriate clothing when not in the pool- seems fine to me. The reason given? A load of crap.

[Bluegoat]

18 minutes ago, SquirrellyMama said:

I get it. I don't think they are telling the boys they can't be shirtless. I would also like to know if the boys swim team is also told they can't wear their Speedos in the training room.

 

Ugh, speedos in the gym.  If part of the concern is wetness, then they probably are telling them that I'd guess because they are just as likely to be wet.  As for the shirtless thing I'd guess it might depend a lot on who talks to them.  

19 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

Don't look.

The old saying, "your rights end where mine begins" applies here quite well.

 

Yeah, I don't really think that's true.  There are levels of social acceptability with clothing.  They aren't the same everywhere, which is fine, but they exist in every place where here are actually options.  Unless there is a very good reason to step outside of them, I don't see any value in just ignoring them.  I don't expect to see shirtless men at the mall or walking down the city street, and when I do see it I think it's kind of uncouth.  I don't expect to see women in bathing suits in the mall or walking down the city street either.  I expect people working in offices to be wearing office level clothing, and people at a ball to be wearing the closest thing they have to very formal clothes.   

 

 

[Sneezyone]

3 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Yeah, hard to get tempted by sweaty, gross, injured people.  

 

The whole treatment aspect makes the rant from the trainer even stranger. I’d definitely be asking what is up and if all athletes are changing before entering?

 

Do swimmers get their ankles taped before swimming? I dunno enough about the sport but maybe? If so, saying, hey...'if you show up before practice for treatment, wear your warm ups' is reasonable and would apply to boys and girls in all sports. But a blanket ban? Yah, not seeing it. Have you seen the track uniforms they wear these days? They're no different. Gymnastics? Same thing. Schools usually issue warm ups.

[sassenach]

I have found a method that works brilliantly in these situations where I don’t want to stir the pot for my kid’s sake but I feel like I must say something. I call this method Playing Stupid. I put on my best “dumb mom” face and voice, perfectly pleasant and sweet, then I have a conversation where I ask a series of questions that dig into the offense. By the end of the convo, I’ve usually exposed the issue, but without them feeling like I was the one who came after it. The only time this hasn’t worked was with a teacher who straight up lied. 

[TechWife]

40 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

This clarifies things.  If it is a weight room and normal training I agree they should be dressed, so should the boys.  Our weight rooms had actual rules about that and everyone had to be clothed, men with minimum wife beater/shorts and women with minimum sports bra/shorts.

 

If it’s like a room for therapy/injuries, I wouldn’t say they’d need to change first if it is literally right before practice?

Swimsuits worn in competition cover more than a sports bra & shorts. That's what floors me. The average set of "gym clothes" for women covers less than a competitive bathing suit does.

[TechWife]

34 minutes ago, SKL said:

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm getting the picture.  I totally agree with not wearing a swim team swimsuit (wet or dry) to use weight room equipment.  That involves being in positions where a swimsuit would not provide appropriate cover, and it is possible that some of the young girls may not realize this. 

Except gym shorts and sports bras are common in weight rooms and they cover less than a swimsuit covers, so this statement makes no sense to me.

[wintermom]

What and where is the training room? Will the swimmers be doing any exercises there? Shouldn't the focus be on clothing that is most comfortable for the activity at hand? If they are doing some dry-land training, then shorts and t-shirts make sense, not swim suits. When they are in the pool, then swim suits make sense. 

Wouldn't clothing choice also be mentioned to boys as well as girls? Boys would be wearing shorts and t-shirts in a weight room, not swim suits. 

Why is to be a modesty issue? It's it more a case of appropriate clothing for the activity?

Edited August 10, 2018 by wintermom

[Kanin]

Agreed, reason given is a load of crap. I'm not sure I'd wait till the swim season is over to talk to the principal. You don't necessarily have to raise a stink - maybe he/she will also be properly horrified, and do something about it. It's fine to say that students (boys AND girls) need to change out of suits before going into the training room (if possible - injuries excepted), but to single out girls is completely unacceptable. 

[umsami]

I cannot believe (well, sadly I can) that they used the language that the other students and such would be tempted by girls in swimsuits.  What a horrific message.  I'm not sure who, but I would talk to somebody.  This men-can't-help-themselves so they rape/molest culture is so so toxic to both sexes.

[Bluegoat]

I don't know.  From my POV, it isn't necessary for boys or girls in high school to be running around in the gym in such a way as to show of their bodies to look sexy.  I think it can be harder for girls in a lot of settings because girls clothing is often deliberately sexualized compared to boys, but the gym is one place where I think it's more common for both sexes to do this.  I can remember it both in the army and high school, there was a lot of the fit kids trying to get away with skinny clothes or shirtless outfits while the unfit kids wore things that offered a lot more coverage.  Tank tops and booty shorts really aren't necessary for the gym, nor is going shirtless.

I don't see any reason this should be hidden from young people.  

[Sneezyone]

Swimmers aren't running around the training room trying to look sexy. The "training room" is where student athletes go to receive medical attention/treatment (sometimes preventive, sometimes emergent) from the team's trainers, doctors or physical therapists. It's not a 'gym' with treadmills and such. They go there before, during or after practice to receive evaluation of/treatment for their injuries.

Edited August 10, 2018 by Sneezyone

[Janeway]

Assuming this is a public high school, I would speak to the principal about this. I might clarify that it is what the daughter said it was and not a misunderstanding. I would assume swim suits are not allowed outside of pool area because that is usually a rule. Swim suits are not school dress code and they are usually wet if you have been swimming, etc. But if she said it was because it would cause temptation for the boys, I would be livid. 

Edited August 10, 2018 by Janeway

[SquirrellyMama]

Some of the wording used was "Do not wear your swimsuits in the training room. There might be boys in there and they don't need to see that (their butt in their suits), nobody needs to see that."

My dd said, "Our butts are not attractive in our suits. They look like those biscuits in a can that you pop open and it just squishes out."

Kelly

Edited August 10, 2018 by SquirrellyMama

[Jean in Newcastle]

58 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Swimmers aren't running around the training room trying to look sexy. The "training room" is where student athletes go to receive medical attention/treatment (sometimes preventive, sometimes emergent) from the team's trainers, doctors or physical therapists. It's not a 'gym' with treadmills and such. They go there before, during or after practice to receive evaluation of/treatment for their injuries.

Exactly.  I wish that people would actually read threads before responding.  Especially when they are going to dig in with an opinion based on what are not the facts. 

Swim team suits are not string bikinis.  They are designed for the sport and utility.  Same as a football player's pants might be tight but that is for sport and utility, not to show off a cute butt. 

Don't hire trainers that are pedophiles.  That should stop any potential lawsuits. 

[Sneezyone]

6 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Don't hire trainers that are pedophiles.  That should stop any potential lawsuits. 

 

A thousand times this. And make sure that  school trainers are not performing ANY invasive procedures, or any other procedures alone/unsupervised. Done.

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

Swimmers aren't running around the training room trying to look sexy. The "training room" is where student athletes go to receive medical attention/treatment (sometimes preventive, sometimes emergent) from the team's trainers, doctors or physical therapists. It's not a 'gym' with treadmills and such. They go there before, during or after practice to receive evaluation of/treatment for their injuries.

Why would they need to wear swim suits there, and is it anywhere near the pool? Would a swimmer actually receive treatment during a swim practice? Wouldn't they want to change out of a wet swim suit at that point? I just don't see the logistics of needing to be in a swim suit. Perhaps for massage therapy, but how many high school offer this?

What's wrong with throwing a t-shirt and shorts over a swim suit in the cold hallways?  That sounds more comfortable to me.

Edited August 10, 2018 by wintermom

[SquirrellyMama]

20 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Why would they need to wear swim suits there, and is it anywhere near the pool? Would a swimmer actually receive treatment during a swim practice? Wouldn't they want to change out of a wet swim suit at that point? I just don't see the logistics of needing to be in a swim suit. Perhaps for massage therapy, but how many high school offer this?

What's wrong with throwing a t-shirt and shorts over a swim suit in the cold hallways?  That sounds more comfortable to me.

I think most of the time that is very possible. But, if they are injured during practice and can't put on a shirt and shorts that would be a problem. And, it really isn't that they can't wear their swimsuit. I'm fine if they have a rule that says that the kids have to put on a shirt and shorts. I don't like how it was put to them. Just say, we require full clothing from ALL athletes. Not, there are boys in there and they might see your butt because you're wearing a swimsuit. Or, there have been problems with adults taking advantage of kids so don't wear your swimsuit. I've told my daughter that rape and molestation are about power, not if you are wearing a swimsuit.  God forbid something happen to one of these girls, and because they were wearing a swimsuit they take on the guilt. 

It is probably also more sanitary if they are dressed. Say that instead. Tell them it is unsafe if they drip because someone might slip. 

Kelly

Edited August 10, 2018 by SquirrellyMama

[Sneezyone]

11 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Why would they need to wear swim suits there, and is it anywhere near the pool? Would a swimmer actually receive treatment during a swim practice? Wouldn't they want to change out of a wet swim suit at that point? I just don't see the logistics of needing to be in a swim suit. Perhaps for massage therapy, but how many high school offer this?

What's wrong with throwing a t-shirt and shorts over a swim suit in the cold hallways?  That sounds more comfortable to me.

 

You may be wearing your suit during treatment because you are dressed/ready for practice. Many schools do issue warm ups so asking kids to wear them as much as possible when not on the field (for any sport) is a perfectly reasonable request. Singling out female swimmers is what's weird. Competition suits are tight and boob/butt-smooshing (to reduce drag). When wet, I imagine they're tough to remove. If you're receiving emergent treatment during a competition or during practice, no, you probably wouldn't remove it. Someone would probably grab your warm up or a towel and throw it over you when convenient but, at that point, modesty would not be the primary concern. This admonition was given to avoid tempting men/boys not to ensure athlete comfort during treatment.

[HS Mom in NC]

Our youth pastor got tired to hearing this from some of the parents, so when it was time for the swimming activities he said fine, the girls and women had to wear shirts over their swimsuits the whole time.....just like every boy and man had to wear a shirt over theirs the whole time. Everyone could be equally modest in the same way. Some of those annoying modesty parents were a little indignant about it, but no one cared that they were upset. They brought it on themselves.

[Pen]

5 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

She also talked about issues with trainers (adults) and students so

 

That sounds worrisome. If there are adult trainers especially and also students who have issues around girls, that needs to be dealt with at school or district level, police if actions make that warranted. 

In regard to training room clothes it seems like that could just be specified for everyone, for example shorts or long pants and shirts and non marking rubber soled athletic shoes. 

[Kanin]

3 hours ago, Bluegoat said:

I don't know.  From my POV, it isn't necessary for boys or girls in high school to be running around in the gym in such a way as to show of their bodies to look sexy.  I think it can be harder for girls in a lot of settings because girls clothing is often deliberately sexualized compared to boys, but the gym is one place where I think it's more common for both sexes to do this.  I can remember it both in the army and high school, there was a lot of the fit kids trying to get away with skinny clothes or shirtless outfits while the unfit kids wore things that offered a lot more coverage.  Tank tops and booty shorts really aren't necessary for the gym, nor is going shirtless.

I don't see any reason this should be hidden from young people.  

I agree with you that teenagers should be educated about what clothing is appropriate/not appropriate in a gym, BUT - there are reasons why it's not appropriate, like people could slip on water from a suit, it's not sanitary for the machines in swimsuits (maybe, I don't know about that one), etc. Because a girl might make a guy feel "tempted" is NOT an appropriate reason. It's not a girl's responsibility to protect a guy from feeling temptation, it's the guy's responsibility to act like a gentleman no matter how tempted he is.

I'd be completely fine with a policy that said both the girls and boys have to change to go to the training room, if that's really necessary. As long as it's equal. BUT the reason should be something logical, not something that wrongly encourages girls to think they're responsible for boys' behavior. 

[unsinkable]

2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Exactly.  I wish that people would actually read threads before responding.  Especially when they are going to dig in with an opinion based on what are not the facts. 

Swim team suits are not string bikinis.  They are designed for the sport and utility.  Same as a football player's pants might be tight but that is for sport and utility, not to show off a cute butt. 

Don't hire trainers that are pedophiles.  That should stop any potential lawsuits. 

 

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

 

A thousand times this. And make sure that  school trainers are not performing ANY invasive procedures, or any other procedures alone/unsupervised. Done.

Wow, don't hire pedophiles!? A thousand times that?!

That is absoflippinlutely genius!

Way to minimize the problem!

SMH...

[Pen]

23 minutes ago, StellaM said:

 

A young friend of ours was sexually abused by the swim teacher....pretty sure the pool didn't hire him, knowing he was a pedophile.

Mind you, pretty sure the 'no competetion swimmers in the training room' rule would have done nothing to help either, given he abused pre-teens in the actual swimming pool....

'Just don't hire a pedophile'! is an odd, and minimising thing to say.

 

From the first OP message it sounded like they know they have one or more trainers and one or more students that have problems with regard to teen girls. It isn’t clear if this is rape, or fondling, or ogling, or lude comments or something else. 

7 hours ago, SquirrellyMama said:

She also talked about issues with trainers (adults) and students so they should not wear their suits so the adults aren't tempted by them. These were not the exact words used, but this was the impression left on the girls.

 

If there have not been any issues, in fact,  they should clear up the misconception they created. 

I might be inclined to call and ask what has happened, and if the perpetrators were not fired or suspended, ask why not.  

If there was nothing then to say wow, the way trainer went on and on about it made it seem like there must be.  And that the school must think it was caused by a swim suit...

[SquirrellyMama]

1 minute ago, Pen said:

 

From the first OP message it sounded like they know they have one or more trainers and one or more students that have problems with regard to teen girls. It isn’t clear if this is rape, or fondling, or ogling, or lude comments or something else. 

 

Sorry, I should have worded that better. They were talking about trainers, doctors, coaches that had been in the news. I think they feel that they are avoiding a problem, but they are creating a problem also.

Now, our school district is another story. A coach was just fired this summer for a stalking issue. And the driver's ed instructor was also fired, finally. Several years ago he was in a case where kids accused him of inappropriate touching. Their solution was to make his wife teach with him. 

Kelly

[Katy]

3 hours ago, wintermom said:

Why would they need to wear swim suits there, and is it anywhere near the pool? Would a swimmer actually receive treatment during a swim practice? Wouldn't they want to change out of a wet swim suit at that point? I just don't see the logistics of needing to be in a swim suit. Perhaps for massage therapy, but how many high school offer this?

What's wrong with throwing a t-shirt and shorts over a swim suit in the cold hallways?  That sounds more comfortable to me.

 

Lets say a distracted 16 year old boy, while wearing a speedo, slips in a pool of water and falls on the pool deck, twisting his ankle, wrist, and hitting his head on some bleachers on the way down.  Kid needs medical attention, to determine the extent of the injuries, if he can still compete that day, and if he has a concussion. They don't want to give him medical attention in front of a crowd of people watching the meet, so they move him to the treatment room.  If they don't make this injured boy hobble into his warm up suit FIRST, they shouldn't do that for a girl that met exactly the same fate. 

And they definitely should not announce it is policy for GIRLS only because the GIRLS are just too attractive to be denied and will cause adult men to lose all control of themselves and rape them, or boys to lose all control of themselves and harass them, or even be looking at them because they are attractive.  That is so ridiculous if that IS the policy the school is opening themselves up for a lawsuit just with that. There is no woman or girl on the planet that is so attractive a male isn't responsible for his own actions. And the idea that males of all ages are incapable of controlling themselves is extremely insulting to men too. Not to mention it implies whoever gave this lecture has had no exposure to the athletic world at all.  Sports are not sexual events.

I would probably incredulously ask the principal about it, and if it wasn't clarified in a satisfactory manner I'd find a woman or an attorney on the school board and ask her if she thought it was appropriate.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, unsinkable said:

 

Wow, don't hire pedophiles!? A thousand times that?!

That is absoflippinlutely genius!

Way to minimize the problem!

SMH...

 

2 hours ago, StellaM said:

 

A young friend of ours was sexually abused by the swim teacher....pretty sure the pool didn't hire him, knowing he was a pedophile.

Mind you, pretty sure the 'no competetion swimmers in the training room' rule would have done nothing to help either, given he abused pre-teens in the actual swimming pool....

'Just don't hire a pedophile'! is an odd, and minimising thing to say.

 

I agree. I doubt a school would intentionally hire a pedophile, and if a person actually is a pedophile, he probably isn’t going to mention that on his resume or his job application when he applies for a job at a school. 

[SquirrellyMama]

18 minutes ago, Katy said:

And they definitely should not announce it is policy for GIRLS only because the GIRLS are just too attractive to be denied and will cause adult men to lose all control of themselves and rape them, or boys to lose all control of themselves and harass them, or even be looking at them because they are attractive.  That is so ridiculous if that IS the policy the school is opening themselves up for a lawsuit just with that. There is no woman or girl on the planet that is so attractive a male isn't responsible for his own actions. And the idea that males of all ages are incapable of controlling themselves is extremely insulting to men too. Not to mention it implies whoever gave this lecture has had no exposure to the athletic world at all.  Sports are not sexual events.

This (taking out the sport parts)was actually said at the modesty talk at the YG at our former church. I was mad, and made it known. Mad, not only for my daughters and other girls who get blamed for causing men to "stumble", but also for my son and other boys who are made out to be animals with no control. 

Kelly

[LMD]

Making children responsible for their own safeguarding is a recipe for disaster, and has nothing to do with supposed modesty.

[WendyLady]

This is something that makes me so angry!!  It's not the policy of covering up after practice, it's the "better cover up or you will make the boys baaaaad" message that makes me so mad.  It is disgusting and so demeaning to both the girls and boys.  

My daughter is on her high school cheer team.  They wear little tiny volleyball shorts and tank tops for practice.  And they are supposed to put something over them after practice.  They practice in a gym that is shared by the wrestling boys - now those uniforms are something else!!  Sometimes both groups are in there at the same time -- both the boys and the girls seem to be able to manage their responses to seeing each other in "offensive" uniforms in a healthy way.

Anyway, I don't care if my daughter wears her tiny volleyball shorts out after practice, but I also don't mind if the team asks them to wear something over the shorts before and after, that's fine. I just don't ever want to hear that it is implied that the boys and men would lose all control if the girls don't cover up.  It is the wrong message to send to both the boys and the girls - "she was asking for it", etc.

Edited August 11, 2018 by WendyLady