S/o: Is no Facebook seen as weird?

[Innisfree]

Chris in VA's post got me thinking. In a couple of years, older dd will be getting ready for college. None of us have ever done social media, other than WTM for me. No Instagram, no nothing. I haven't forbidden it. Dd  just hasn't wanted to. Is that going to set off alarm bells for people? 

[regentrude]

No. there are plenty of people who choose not to use social media.

[rose]

Probably, but probably not loudly enough to alert the authorities. We're the same way and people definitely think that it's weird. It's not so weird for adults to shun social media but I would guess that ~99% of teenagers have some sort of social media these days.

[catz]

I don’t think it’s considered  weird.  But I wouldn’t be surprised if she decided she wanted it at some point either.  Instagram seems to be the platform of choice for my teens.   

 

I know homeschool families not on FB.   But they do definitely miss stuff that is going on.   And some groups have just gotten that way.   

[Chris in VA]

I know tons of people who are not on FB. Most kids dd's age (that we know) have a profile but use other media much, much more--in particular Snapchat around here. Instagram is common, esp for 20's and 30s. FB is seen as something for people my age lol. 

But I say, "you do you." So what if it's "weird." Maybe she just has a life and doesn't need to share everything, or has other interests and doesn't want to do sm. No judgement here!

[Innisfree]

Okay, so a prospective roommate isn't likely to be plunged into despair and foreboding if dd doesn't set up some kind of account? ;-) She'd certainly answer letters/emails, get involved in planning the dorm room, and so on.

[marbel]

I can't imagine why it would set up any alarm bells, at least among adults.  Other teens might think it odd, I guess.  Seems like it could be a plus to potential employers.  No wasting work time on social media, no worries about someone posting something inappropriate and it becoming a work/company problem. 

I am the one in my family most on social media - facebook and here. My husband uses none. My kids have facebook accounts but never use it; one is thinking of deleting it. My daughter used instagram when it first started as a photo-sharing thing but gave it up when it sort of took the place of fb.  At least, that's how I remember it.   

[marbel]

3 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

Okay, so a prospective roommate isn't likely to be plunged into despair and foreboding if dd doesn't set up some kind of account? ;-) She'd certainly answer letters/emails, get involved in planning the form room, and so on.

Just a note on this:  Most kids I know prefer not to use email. They text or use a texting app.  Most of my daughter's friends don't have an email app on their phones.  My own kid is much more apt to see something if I text her rather than email. 

So, she will have to find out the way people communicate in order to stay in the loop.

[Corraleno]

I don't know any teens who use FB, and both of my kids have to be constantly reminded to check their email, because they never use it otherwise. They mostly use snapchat and texting. 

[Pawz4me]

FB hasn't been popular with teens for several years, and a lot of those teens are now in the early 20's. So . . . a lot of young people don't use it much. Once it became popular with adults it became much less popular with younger people. DS19 and DS22 are much more into Snapchat, although they do occasionally check FB to keep up with older relatives. Their preferred form of casual communication is texting. Neither uses email for casual communication.

I don't think it's weird for anyone to not use FB or other social media. Certainly the majority of Americans do use FB, but a large minority don't. Enough that it's certainly not weird.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah I agree that FB doesn't seem to be attractive to younger ppl. 

To each their own.  This is not a big deal IMO.

[Innisfree]

13 minutes ago, marbel said:

Just a note on this:  Most kids I know prefer not to use email. They text or use a texting app.  Most of my daughter's friends don't have an email app on their phones.  My own kid is much more apt to see something if I text her rather than email. 

So, she will have to find out the way people communicate in order to stay in the loop.

Now that you mention it, yes, she does text. That would probably be her preference.

[Katy]

Most of my friends teen-22 age kids don't have facebook.  No social media at all is probably unusual.

[regentrude]

49 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

Okay, so a prospective roommate isn't likely to be plunged into despair and foreboding if dd doesn't set up some kind of account? ;-) She'd certainly answer letters/emails, get involved in planning the dorm room, and so on.

That age group is not using facebook very much. However, most college studentsy use other forms of social media - snap chat, or instagram. Letters are not a great way to exchange rapid information, and email is a bit clumsy for exchanging visual info (like pics when you plan dorm room decor).

I think what would look weird is a refusal to engage in ANY kind of these means when asked to by room mate.

[gardenmom5]

no alarm bells.

at one time dd was in a tech position where it was expected she have a social media presence. but that was a job thing.   (her current one does not.)

[Chris in VA]

Def texting is the preferred way to go. If she does that, she'll be fine. 

[GoodGrief]

The young people I know connect on Snapchat almost exclusively, with rarer posts on Instagram. They text too. She probably will miss some opportunities for connection if she is not on social media at all, but she will be fine.

[Bluegoat]

FB seems to have an older demographic.  

My sense though is that different class/social/regional groups vary a fair bit in terms of social media they use and how many use none.

[ccolopy]

It's not at all weird for high school kids not to have Facebook where we live. DS17 did recently sign up so that he could join a few groups related to the university where he does DE ("used textbook sale" was the most important one!), but he doesn't use it "socially" if that makes any sense. Your DD might find it useful to join when she gets to college, or in connecting with other prospective students in the months leading up to college, but if she doesn't, no big deal! There are plenty of college students who don't use Facebook at all. :)

 

[GailV]

Younger dd, current high school senior, is on Facebook so she can use the messenger app with groups that like to use that for communication (typically these are groups of older people -- mid 20s and up -- who are apparently more dependent on FB).  Other than that, she has little use for FB, and wouldn't consider it odd that someone else doesn't use it at all.  Both my dds keep their social media fairly locked down. Nothing to see here -- move along!  They would respect someone's choice to not use an social media at all, and probably think that person was ahead of the current trends and pretty cool for making that choice.

Either dd would be utterly charmed if someone wrote her a letter, would mean to reply likewise, and probably wouldn't get around to it in a timely manner. 

I think they mostly snapchat and text. Group texts are pretty popular -- for example, older dd's housemates are all in a text group so they can keep in touch about various issues that come up.

[SKL]

I have friends and relatives who aren't on facebook.  They would rather avoid the extra level of drama and/or they are too busy and/or they don't like the fb spy machine.

I will be totally fine with my kids not being on social media if they so choose.

I only joined because it was the only way to get info about a group that is important to my family.  Now I use it for good and bad reasons, LOL.  I post on my page very occasionally.

[GinaPagnato]

My teens/young adults don't use FB at all.

Snapchat and Instagram are where it's at, for the moment at least.

[J-rap]

Even if it was considered weird at some time, I don't think it's considered weird anymore.  My kids all got a Facebook account as older teens, but they barely use it anymore.  Now the crowd appears older, as others have mentioned. 

[Targhee]

FB? No one her age will likely care. Email? Anymore that’s just for sending files and formal stuff too long for a text. Text alone will probably be sufficient but she may find IG, Snapchat, or other social media is important to peers.  They wouldn’t necessarily exclude her but if they probably wouldn’t text her individually if they had already posted something to IG so she might miss out.

Social media has its convenience and I have felt at times I *had* to have FB to keep up with groups I was involved with. But I am old enough now I really don’t give a shark - if you want ME you can get ahold of me.  Closed FB some time ago, and while I miss seeing glimpse’s of far away friends’ lives, I am much happier without all the mental fetters.

[Innisfree]

Okay, thanks, everyone! I won't worry, but if she wants to get on Instagram or Snapchat, I'll be supportive. I appreciate the information.

[SanDiegoMom]

Most of most of my dd's groups that she is in send out info over Facebook posts. Her dorm posts activities there, people post ads for roommates on the Facebook page for their whole class, the chess club posts its info there... etc. So she doesn't use it per se, but she gets notifications. She only uses Snapchat regularly. And Tumblr which apparently she has banned ME from using, lol. 

[CAJinBE]

The university program my dd is attending in the fall set up a Facebook group for the incoming students to meet each other and ask questions. It's been very handy and interesting to see who she will be going to school with, what their interests are, etc. Also, when she applied to go to student-for-a-day program at another university she was interested in, they asked to follow her on Instagram. I looked at her account and was pleased to see that any university looking at it would probably be impressed with the types of posts she had made, places she had traveled, experiences, etc. Nothing embarrassing at all. I've heard of employers checking online profiles also. So not alarm bells if you are not on, but maybe not as helpful as it could be either. 

[DawnM]

My older boys have had to join FB in the last couple of years because their groups are on FB and that is how they communicate to the members.  They don't actively use FB otherwise.  But they do have accounts.

[katilac]

On 4/22/2018 at 9:10 AM, Innisfree said:

Okay, so a prospective roommate isn't likely to be plunged into despair and foreboding if dd doesn't set up some kind of account? ;-) She'd certainly answer letters/emails, get involved in planning the dorm room, and so on.

 

It's going to be texting/instant messaging of some sort.  Very few young people use Facebook or email. 

Regular texting is fine for two people. For group chats, she will probably be asked to use a 3rd-party app like GroupMe, because things can get wonky with people using multiple type phones and different carriers. If someone doesn't want to do that for some reason, then yes, they are going to miss things. At my dd's college, that's how they organize study groups, ask who wants to meet for dinner, and so on. They use Instagram to share photos and updates, GroupMe for chatting and organizing. 

 

 

[Wabi Sabi]

Not having Facebook, no. But in my limited experience, *most* older teens would find it weird to not have Instagram. That is the default social media platform for that age group it seems.