Dss16

[Scarlett]

I think you do want to help him, Scarlett, but I think you're continually shooting yourself in the foot. You don't see it worth your time on your days off to go to the gym with him because encouraging should be enough. You don't see it worth changing your eating habits because changing his should be enough. He should do it, because it needs to be done. Right? And if he doesn't that's on him.

 

Lack of solidarity is a big deal. I hiked 70 miles with my kid last year. Not because I wanted to. It was what he needed. He needed someone to expect something out of him (Eagle scout), and expect him to put a plan in place, and be that accountability partner when he couldn't get his troop to do that badge with him. It is like that with a lot of things. I do chores at the same time as my kid because it's holding him accountable for that bit of time. It's not "you work, I'll do mine later" because it doesn't say that the task is important. During the warm months we pack everyone's bikes on the rack and take them to the trail. It's not a clear option to not ride. We don't ride *together* (dh trains for long races, teen ds rides for speed, I work with the 7yo), but we make that the expectation of the morning 3 days a week. In the cold months, I set out ds's yoga mat next to mine in the morning. It becomes clear that the expectation is that he will follow the beginner's video to the best of his ability.

 

You can't choose not to set the model if getting dss healthy is important to you. Otherwise your actions are speaking something your mouth isn't.

How old are your kids? And do you have a blended family? Do any of your kids go off to see their other parent EOW and 10 days of winter break and 6 weeks of summer?

 

Dss does need help and guidance and Dh and I will,both do what we can. Seriously, that is the part you don't seem to understand....we really are doing the best we can.

[Scarlett]

I get not wanting to share information on the internet, but if you are comfortable PMing me with your general area, I'd be happy to do a bit of research on programs for you, when I can. Like I said, this hits very close to home with me. I know my own mom was frustrated, and felt helpless when I started gaining. She'd never been overweight in her life and just couldn't understand, and she is a great mom. (now, after a cancer bout, she is all of a sudden having weight issues for the first time in her life and now does get it)

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

I looked at another one that is about 1 1/2 hours away and it also talked about drugs. It looked bigger and is part of a bariatric weight loss center but they have a non surgery plan.

 

At this point we are going to see the GP in January and go from there.

[theelfqueen]

Does the gym offer a class at a time that would match up to his schedule at school? Sometimes having a commitment to a class or a trainer or another person can motivate someone when just an obligation to themself doesn't.

 

Does DS have a space in his schedule where he could be a workout buddy once or twice a week when you and DH are less available? Does someone at the votech already go to that gym? (I know you don't know these answers now but maybe look for a solution for different days - work out with step brother on tues, Scarlett on Weds, a friend from school on Thursday, etc. Rather than one solution for everything (Scarlett every day)

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[FriedClams]

Honestly, I think the gym is the least of your worries. Really. You cannot "work out" a bad diet. You just can't. Weight loss is 90% about food. The other day I took my DD to chick fil a. Her one meal was almost double the "points" (I do ww) I am allotted in a day. One meal!!! And it wasn't crazy - sandwich, fries, soda. (Before y'all go nuts - it's a rare thing for us to eat that!). A severely overweight person cannot burn off 1200 extra calories of intake. YES working out is good for your health and helpful for mental health - but a walk will do the same while you focus on diet.

 

I think seeking help with an adolescent weight specialist is your best option.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

I looked at another one that is about 1 1/2 hours away and it also talked about drugs. It looked bigger and is part of a bariatric weight loss center but they have a non surgery plan.

 

At this point we are going to see the GP in January and go from there.

 

I don't know what the 7 meds are, but nutritional deficiencies are common in obesity.  So it is common to have prescribed supplements.  Also gut flora is a huge component so things like probiotics are often prescribed.  And what are called lipotropic meds - supplements that help your body flush out fat. 

[Kassia]

Honestly, I think the gym is the least of your worries. Really. You cannot "work out" a bad diet. You just can't. Weight loss is 90% about food. The other day I took my DD to chick fil a. Her one meal was almost double the "points" (I do ww) I am allotted in a day. One meal!!! And it wasn't crazy - sandwich, fries, soda. (Before y'all go nuts - it's a rare thing for us to eat that!). A severely overweight person cannot burn off 1200 extra calories of intake. YES working out is good for your health and helpful for mental health - but a walk will do the same while you focus on diet.

 

 

 

Not only that, but exercise can make you hungrier, too!  I exercise a lot, but I agree that weight loss (and maintenance) is mostly about diet.  

[fraidycat]

If it was, he'd be there already.

 

Don't be surprised if he doesn't go on his own and you fall right back into the same cycle of you wringing your hands and expecting him to just have the fortitude and gumption to change 16 years of a lifestyle. On his own.

Teens need the extra guidance. They need handholding sometimes when it comes to big things.

Not just teens. I was recently working with a grown adult client who was questioning why she had such trouble doing all the right things re: her own health. She knows what to do, she knows that it works (meal planning, prepping ahead), but she just couldn’t get herself to do it regularly. Throughout our session we discovered that the actual problem was loneliness and having to do it all on her own because her eating needs were not the same as the family. She was missing the connection that food provides. Her husband was verbally super supportive of her efforts, but wasn’t involved in the day to day. At the end of our session she was going to ask her husband to be in the kitchen with her so they could connect and talk while she worked on her prep once per week, or have him help cut veggies with her. She was excited to get back on track and plan her meals.

 

Such a simple little thing that actually had a big impact on her motivation and ability to follow through.

[katilac]

Honestly, I think the gym is the least of your worries. Really. You cannot "work out" a bad diet. You just can't. Weight loss is 90% about food. The other day I took my DD to chick fil a. Her one meal was almost double the "points" (I do ww) I am allotted in a day. One meal!!! And it wasn't crazy - sandwich, fries, soda. (Before y'all go nuts - it's a rare thing for us to eat that!). A severely overweight person cannot burn off 1200 extra calories of intake. YES working out is good for your health and helpful for mental health - but a walk will do the same while you focus on diet.

 

I think seeking help with an adolescent weight specialist is your best option.

 

Absolutely agree. Another poster or two had mentioned the importance of a good personal trainer, but a trainer who is familiar with safely supervising exercise in someone that overweight is going to be very hard to come by (and also it's very hard to evaluate them unless you have knowledge yourself). 

 

If you go the nutritionist route, make sure you agree with their basic recommendations, which can vary a LOT. Many are still pushing the low-fat, grain-based pyramid of the mid-1990s, which has really been discredited by more thorough research. 

 

Here's a link to the 1995 American Heart Association's Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which was the reference at the time. Read and be horrified, lol. Spoiler: they recommend 6-11 servings from the grain group each day, and their examples are bread, boxed cereal, rice, oatmeal, and pasta. I truly think these recommendations kickstarted the weight issues that are rampant today; the timing is right. The kids from this point on got school lunches that were strictly regulated for fat, so only 2% milk, but not sugar, so the low-fat milk could be chocolate and highly sugared (ounce for ounce, soft drinks only have a bit more sugar than chocolate milk).

 

https://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/dietary_guidelines_for_americans/1995DGConsumerBrochure.pdf

Edited December 22, 2017 by katilac

[MedicMom]

I don't know what the 7 meds are, but nutritional deficiencies are common in obesity. So it is common to have prescribed supplements. Also gut flora is a huge component so things like probiotics are often prescribed. And what are called lipotropic meds - supplements that help your body flush out fat.

Also he is likely insulin resistant, so probably something like metformin would be prescribed. He may not be able to lose weight at all until the insulin is regulated.

[Catwoman]

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

I looked at another one that is about 1 1/2 hours away and it also talked about drugs. It looked bigger and is part of a bariatric weight loss center but they have a non surgery plan.

 

At this point we are going to see the GP in January and go from there.

When you see the GP, you can ask him about the two programs you mentioned. Hopefully, he will know more about them and will be able to tell you which one of them would be the best option for your dss -- or if he has better ideas of his own.

 

Ultimately, your dss has to really want to lose the weight. You can do everything in the world to help him, but if he's going to constantly sabotage himself by eating all of the junky foods at school every day, there's nothing you can do about that. You can help him get the best possible treatment and advice, but ultimately he is still the one who has to follow the recommendations. It's not like he's a little kid who is at home with you all day and you can control what he eats and how much he exercises.

 

 

(Edited for typo!)

Edited December 22, 2017 by Catwoman

[goldberry]

...however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

 

 

Meds or supplements?  Or combination?  I would think supplements would be normal.  Maybe a couple of meds.

[Annie G]

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

 

 

The program in our town uses an appetite suppressant, some kind of stimulant (holy cow, our next door neighbor was Jittery Joe while he was in that program!),  and B complex injections with amino acids.   They also have weekly appointments and are very regimented as far as eating and exercise. Patients have to be VERY committed.  I know people who have done well and others who just couldn't do it and dropped the program.  It's a big step for a teenager, I think.  

 

ETA:  Do you mean they don't take your insurance or they don't take any insurance? A friend did a program that didn't take insurance and it was one of those HCG programs where you have daily injections and limit calories to 500 a day. She also took a lot of supplements. She lost weight but it was unsustainable and now she has put it all back on.  Not trying to scare you that a program that doesn't take insurance is shady- I'm sure most are fine.   We have a ton around here that take insurance so I thought they all did.  

Edited December 22, 2017 by Annie G

[itsheresomewhere]

You might want to try ones a bit further away. There is a teen in a program here who meets with the specialist once a month and has everything else take place near his home. The specialist arranged for local therapist,nutrition,trainer and the GP to follow his program. They might be very willing to do that for your DSS.

[Sandwalker]

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

I looked at another one that is about 1 1/2 hours away and it also talked about drugs. It looked bigger and is part of a bariatric weight loss center but they have a non surgery plan.

 

At this point we are going to see the GP in January and go from there.

Medicine for his health issues, including obesity, yes, it is common. Losing 100 pounds is not easy.

[ktgrok]

I'd call both places and ask if they deal with teens. That may decide things right there. I'd bet that the medications would start with something like metformin, which can help with metabolic syndrome. (which, given the weight/bloodpressure he has). 

[Lady Florida.]

Yeah, some men don't outgrow this.  DH walks around complaining and when I ask "Did you take an Advil?" he acts like it's the first time he ever heard of it.  :glare:

 

Yeah, dh and ds 20 are the same. Dh complains about aches and when I ask if he took Advil or Tylenol I get, "No, I keep meaning to though." Yeah, meaning to doesn't help. Ds 20 spent a week sniffling and sneezing with seasonal allergies and I kept telling him we have both Sudafed and Zyrtec. Finally after a week he asked which one would be best for the symptoms he was having. Dss is a paramedic and is just as bad. Ddil is a nurse and she fusses at him all the time for complaining but not taking something for relief of what's ailing him. 

[Scarlett]

Absolutely agree. Another poster or two had mentioned the importance of a good personal trainer, but a trainer who is familiar with safely supervising exercise in someone that overweight is going to be very hard to come by (and also it's very hard to evaluate them unless you have knowledge yourself).

 

If you go the nutritionist route, make sure you agree with their basic recommendations, which can vary a LOT. Many are still pushing the low-fat, grain-based pyramid of the mid-1990s, which has really been discredited by more thorough research.

 

Here's a link to the 1995 American Heart Association's Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which was the reference at the time. Read and be horrified, lol. Spoiler: they recommend 6-11 servings from the grain group each day, and their examples are bread, boxed cereal, rice, oatmeal, and pasta. I truly think these recommendations kickstarted the weight issues that are rampant today; the timing is right. The kids from this point on got school lunches that were strictly regulated for fat, so only 2% milk, but not sugar, so the low-fat milk could be chocolate and highly sugared (ounce for ounce, soft drinks only have a bit more sugar than chocolate milk).

 

https://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/dietary_guidelines_for_americans/1995DGConsumerBrochure.pdf

Ugh! That is horrible

[Scarlett]

Meds or supplements? Or combination? I would think supplements would be normal. Maybe a couple of meds.

She said meds and supplements.

[Scarlett]

I have some really really good news.

 

Dss got a job.

 

He is dog walking three times a week for 45 minutes each time. $15 per walk.

 

It could not be more perfect. It is a five minute drive and he can do it at 1:00 3 times a week.

[Scarlett]

I totally agree 90% of this is going to be about what he eats. But the walks will do his back and brain good and make him feel better.

[maize]

That is a great development Scarlett!

[Scarlett]

I saw the ad on our neighborhood watch FB page. I responded immediately......like within 10 min. I made an apt to take Dss to meet with her before I even told Dss because he was outside helping a friend of ours load up our tractor. When he came in I just told him the plan and he said ok....but he seems excited.

[Rosie_0801]

I saw the ad on our neighborhood watch FB page. I responded immediately......like within 10 min. I made an apt to take Dss to meet with her before I even told Dss because he was outside helping a friend of ours load up our tractor. When he came in I just told him the plan and he said ok....but he seems excited.

 

Pocket money is very motivating. :D

[Scarlett]

The program in our town uses an appetite suppressant, some kind of stimulant (holy cow, our next door neighbor was Jittery Joe while he was in that program!), and B complex injections with amino acids. They also have weekly appointments and are very regimented as far as eating and exercise. Patients have to be VERY committed. I know people who have done well and others who just couldn't do it and dropped the program. It's a big step for a teenager, I think.

 

ETA: Do you mean they don't take your insurance or they don't take any insurance? A friend did a program that didn't take insurance and it was one of those HCG programs where you have daily injections and limit calories to 500 a day. She also took a lot of supplements. She lost weight but it was unsustainable and now she has put it all back on. Not trying to scare you that a program that doesn't take insurance is shady- I'm sure most are fine. We have a ton around here that take insurance so I thought they all did.

No insurance

[Sandwalker]

I saw the ad on our neighborhood watch FB page. I responded immediately......like within 10 min. I made an apt to take Dss to meet with her before I even told Dss because he was outside helping a friend of ours load up our tractor. When he came in I just told him the plan and he said ok....but he seems excited.

What a good find! And good on you for bringing it up in a way that he actually accepted it. Teenaged boys are so difficult about these things.

[Kassia]

Great news about the job!  It sounds perfect!

[displace]

Just an aside, you may want an appt with the GP, but it’s likely s/he’d do referrals for your DSS without even a visit, with a phone call requesting whatever you need related to his weight. Maybe not, but if you’d rather not another doctor visit, it’s worth a call. GL!

[TechWife]

Thank you for the link. I called the only one on the list that wasn't 3 hours away. They don't take insurance but the cost seems very reasonable.....however they say the give a mix of up to 7 meds. Is that common for obesity issues?

 

I looked at another one that is about 1 1/2 hours away and it also talked about drugs. It looked bigger and is part of a bariatric weight loss center but they have a non surgery plan.

 

At this point we are going to see the GP in January and go from there.

 

Three hours is not unreasonable for special medical needs. It isn't uncommon for people to travel that far, unfortunately. They will usually work with a patient to set up care closer home, if possible,  once they are established. 

 

She said meds and supplements.

 

That sounds normal. He has a medical problem that needs to be treated medically. 

 

Just an aside, you may want an appt with the GP, but it’s likely s/he’d do referrals for your DSS without even a visit, with a phone call requesting whatever you need related to his weight. Maybe not, but if you’d rather not another doctor visit, it’s worth a call. GL!

 

 

This. 

Edited December 24, 2017 by TechWife

[Impatien]

I’ve read all of your posts about your step-son, and I debated whether I should reply here or not. My son was quite overweight as a kid also. I saw what nagging did with some of the relatives in my family and chose to leave it in his hands—no nagging or discussing it at all. I always had healthy food available, and he’s an extremely smart kid who knew what caused the extra weight and what it would take to lose it.

 

At the age of about 17 something clicked with him and he embarked on a weight-loss regimen all on his own. He lost over 100 pounds.

 

When your stepson is ready (or if) he knows what to do.

 

From what you’ve posted, I think he has a lot of issues he’s probably internalizing and possibly rebelling against the absolute obsession you seem to have about his weight. You can couch it in concern about his health, but your disdain about everything concerning him comes through loud and clear. I feel horribly sad for the poor kid, and hopefully in a couple years he’ll be able to be out at college enjoying life and not under such constant scrutinization.

 

 

I

[katilac]

I’ve read all of your posts about your step-son 

 

 

That's a whole bunch of judgement for someone with 8 posts. 

 

I'm glad it worked out well for your son, but plenty of kids who are 'left alone' about their weight simply go on to be overweight adults. And, if you've read all of the posts, then you know her dss is obese and already at risk for serious health issues. Posters are quite divided on whether this means she should take steps whether dss wants her to or not, or if she should step back because he's nearly an adult and he knows what to do. 

 

I agree that Scarlett does not 'get' weight issues, but her dss was quite overweight well before he came to live with them, so that can't be laid at her feet. I don't think she met the kid till he was 10 or so, and he went to live with them at maybe 15 or 16. I disagree with the way she thinks about weight issues, but I do think she does a lot to try and help her dss (in general, not just regarding weight). 

 

If you posted with the thought of helping her dss, that's really not the way to go about it. People aren't very likely to listen to your advice whilst you are calling them horrible. 

[Scarlett]

That's a whole bunch of judgement for someone with 8 posts.

 

I'm glad it worked out well for your son, but plenty of kids who are 'left alone' about their weight simply go on to be overweight adults. And, if you've read all of the posts, then you know her dss is obese and already at risk for serious health issues. Posters are quite divided on whether this means she should take steps whether dss wants her to or not, or if she should step back because he's nearly an adult and he knows what to do.

 

I agree that Scarlett does not 'get' weight issues, but her dss was quite overweight well before he came to live with them, so that can't be laid at her feet. I don't think she met the kid till he was 10 or so, and he went to live with them at maybe 15 or 16. I disagree with the way she thinks about weight issues, but I do think she does a lot to try and help her dss (in general, not just regarding weight).

 

If you posted with the thought of helping her dss, that's really not the way to go about it. People aren't very likely to listen to your advice whilst you are calling them horrible.

Thank you. That post just went all over me....so I am glad you pointed out ----8 posts.

 

I appreciate the honest replies here .....where people can disagree with me and still offer me advice without questioning my motives and whether I am a good person or not. You are all right that I do not understand weight issues......but I am trying to educate myself and to develop some compassion.

Edited December 24, 2017 by Scarlett

[Rosie_0801]

Yeah.

 

Merry Christmas you lot. *mwah*

 

Don't let this thread see the new year, ok?

[Scarlett]

Yeah.

 

Merry Christmas you lot. *mwah*

 

Don't let this thread see the new year, ok?

Seriously? Lol...like no more posting to it?

[Rosie_0801]

Seriously? Lol...like no more posting to it?

 

It's your thread, Babe!  If you're having fun, carry on.  :hat:

[Impatien]

Well, I’m sorry that you think that because I’ve only posted 8 times that I’m less qualified to have an opinion than anyone else. I’ve read everything you’ve posted about your stepson, and I stand by everything I said.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Well, I’m sorry that you think that because I’ve only posted 8 times that I’m less qualified to have an opinion than anyone else. I’ve read everything you’ve posted about your stepson, and I stand by everything I said.

This comes across as creepy rather than as endearing yourself to the community. FWIW.

[Scarlett]

This comes across as creepy rather than as endearing yourself to the community. FWIW.

I have been Dss's step mom for 7 years. And I post a lot. So someone with 8 posts who has read everything...yeah that is a little creepy.

[kitten18]

I think your best bet, Scarlett, might be to simply tell him "we're going to the gym in half an hour. Get ready." And do it all with him. Sometimes teens need that extra support - even if we think they should be handling the information themselves. Not encouraging, but simply expecting that a, b, and c will happen because you are doing a, b, and c as well.

How exactly do you envision this helping?

This indicates that this child is obese because he doesn't work out or that working out would cure his obesity.

[Scarlett]

Exactly

[KungFuPanda]

Oh we will definitely be taking him at first. But Dh works in the city and I work 3 days a week. Dss will pass right by the gym on his way home from vo tec 5 days a week, so that will be his best bet. And until he begins to lose weight through diet changes I don't think he will,be doing much beyond maybe a little tread mill and some weight training. He just needs to move some. His back is really hurting right now. Just one more thing he has going on that is related to not moving and being over weight.

 

Yesterday when he told me his back was hurting I said, ' oh I am sorry. We have some extra strength Tylenol that might help.' I have told him many many times lack of movement contributes to back pain so he fully knows my opinion on it. My goal is to keep my mouth shut and be positive as I can be.

 

Could you set him up with a personal trainer on these days? It might help him to form a brand new relationship that doesn’t hold so much parental baggage especially if he’s the type to avoid the temptation to skip they gym when fomeone is waiting for him. I’m like that. I DO NOT have the motivation to work out alone, but I do attend my classes and keep my appointments.

[catz]

Interesting article I read this morning about dieting, genetics and weight loss. I’m just pretty sick of fat shaming people. I eat the same as the 3 thin people in my house. I am active and can hike for 2-3 hours. I am still heavy.

http://www.sciencealert.com/diet-science-stigma-genetics-behind-weight-loss

[Scarlett]

Interesting article I read this morning about dieting, genetics and weight loss. I’m just pretty sick of fat shaming people. I eat the same as the 3 thin people in my house. I am active and can hike for 2-3 hours. I am still heavy.

http://www.sciencealert.com/diet-science-stigma-genetics-behind-weight-loss

 

 

Do you think that is the case for every overweight person?  

 

I can't speak for everyone in the world who is thin or overweight...but I can tell you the thin kid I live with doesn't eat sauces or gravy or mayo or chips or fries. 

 

Surely sometimes what and how much one eats does matter.  

[Caroline]

Do you think that is the case for every overweight person?

 

I can't speak for everyone in the world who is thin or overweight...but I can tell you the thin kid I live with doesn't eat sauces or gravy or mayo or chips or fries.

 

Surely sometimes what and how much one eats does matter.

The thin kids I live with do eat sauces and gravy and mayo and chips and fries.

[ktgrok]

Do you think that is the case for every overweight person?  

 

I can't speak for everyone in the world who is thin or overweight...but I can tell you the thin kid I live with doesn't eat sauces or gravy or mayo or chips or fries. 

 

Surely sometimes what and how much one eats does matter.  

for most of the obese, yes. Probably not all overweight people. There is a big difference. 

 

And did you read the article? It addresses WHY the thin son eats those things and the other son doesn't. 

[HomeAgain]

Do you think that is the case for every overweight person?  

 

I can't speak for everyone in the world who is thin or overweight...but I can tell you the thin kid I live with doesn't eat sauces or gravy or mayo or chips or fries. 

 

Surely sometimes what and how much one eats does matter.  

 

I don't think weight is a main indication of health.  I think activity, blood pressure, sleep, and diet are.  I think by looking at these separate issues, a person's weight balances for who they are. 

 

The things you listed, they are not indications of a poor diet - not if made from real foods and eaten in moderation.  And they are not indications of how a person's body will metabolize food. 

 

[scoutingmom]

Do you think that is the case for every overweight person?

 

I can't speak for everyone in the world who is thin or overweight...but I can tell you the thin kid I live with doesn't eat sauces or gravy or mayo or chips or fries.

 

Surely sometimes what and how much one eats does matter.

Please reread the article.

[Scarlett]

Please reread the article.

 

 

I read it.  I read a lot of stuff.

 

I also live with two extremes.  I was in my son's room ealier and found the box of breakfast bars I  put in there 10 days ago.  He has eaten 2 bars.  

 

Our actions affect our outcomes.

[Scarlett]

I don't think weight is a main indication of health.  I think activity, blood pressure, sleep, and diet are.  I think by looking at these separate issues, a person's weight balances for who they are. 

 

The things you listed, they are not indications of a poor diet - not if made from real foods and eaten in moderation.  And they are not indications of how a person's body will metabolize food. 

 

 

Right.  But when a person has a BMI of 37.5 and high blood pressure at age 16......maybe the status quo is not going to work.

[Scarlett]

And ftr, I don't think losing weight is easy or that being overweight is a moral failing or any of the other things people accuse me of thinking/saying.

 

But what is the solution here?  Just give in to genetics?  

[maize]

I read it. I read a lot of stuff.

 

I also live with two extremes. I was in my son's room ealier and found the box of breakfast bars I put in there 10 days ago. He has eaten 2 bars.

 

Our actions affect our outcomes.

And our bodies affect our actions.

 

You son clearly does not experience the same appetite cues as your step son does.

 

It is easy to not eat when your body is not screaming at you EAT! Eat! Eat! Every moment of the day

 

It sounds like neither you nor your son have experienced that.