Annie G Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 We went to a wedding last month and the bride's dad walked her down the aisle, kissed her, then sat down. No giving away of the bride, and nobody mentioned it. I'm not fond of the giving away part- it kind of seems like a transfer of authority and it makes me uncomfortable. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 My son married a Jewish girl and my husband and I walked him around one side of a small lake while the bride's parents walked her around the other side and we met for the ceremony. It was lovely and I loved walking my son to his bride. That's really lovely. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Because of my great hatred of the Giving Away thing.... and because my dad didn't walk very well.... At my wedding, the wedding party all came down the aisle together. The maid of honor and the best man walked in front, then DH and I walked together down the aisle with my dad between us so he could lean on both our arms. When we got to the front, we helped him sit down in the front row and DH and I went on together to the altar No one gave anyone away and my dad got to be part of the ceremony, which was important to him. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 In an orthodox Christian "crowning" the bride and groom are betrothed of their own free will at the back of the the church, and then process together to the middle of the church, where they are crowned as the king and queen of a love that is blessed. There are no vows but a blessing on a relationship of love. And it is a pretty earthy ceremony. Newly Orthodox brides or grooms blush and giggle a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 (edited) I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where the officiant asked who was giving the bride away. I've only seen that in movies or on tv (this made me think of Steel Magnolias :)). Edited August 2, 2017 by Selkie 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 I didn't marry in a church. My parents stood next to me and my husband's parent stood next to him during the ceremony. It wasn't even really planned that way...it just went that way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 We got married under a big tree. No aisle, not even chairs to sit on. We all just gathered under the tree. My parents didn't stand with me--they were just there. Dh's parents were unable to attend. (We married in my home state and it would have been a financial burden for them to travel that far.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Some Jewish weddings have the mothers walk the bride down the aisle and the fathers walk the groom down the aisle.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Just skip the wedding all together, the entire process is little more than infantilizing adults. Giving away (as though they are property) Officiants (because anyone needs permission?) Witnesses (because someone is not there of my own free will?) The ceramony and customes are dated and need to die a fast death. Gosh, I love weddings! (not the giving away part, my dad walked me down and then just sat down). It's not the traditions so much, I love sharing a new beginning. I love the idea of having your loved ones and friends around you as you start a new part of life (but not random people you felt forced to invite). Traditions and customs are totally up for grabs, but don't get rid of the wedding! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykidsrmyjoy Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Just skip the wedding all together, the entire process is little more than infantilizing adults. Giving away (as though they are property) Officiants (because anyone needs permission?) Witnesses (because someone is not there of my own free will?) The ceramony and customes are dated and need to die a fast death. Oh boy, I really hope this opinion is in the minority. I love weddings! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Gosh, I love weddings! (not the giving away part, my dad walked me down and then just sat down). It's not the traditions so much, I love sharing a new beginning. I love the idea of having your loved ones and friends around you as you start a new part of life (but not random people you felt forced to invite). Traditions and customs are totally up for grabs, but don't get rid of the wedding! Customs and traditions are so deeply ingrained in our society they cannot be divorces from a wedding. Seriously, check out wedding wire forums and read the threads where people post and dare to not embrace the traditions to get a feel for how people respond. Adding a personal touch on tradition is not the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Pretty sure that here the bride walks down the aisle with the groom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosch Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 (edited) I wasn't given away or walked down the aisle. The Maid of Honor and Best Man were already up front. My Bride Groom and I walked in together, did our vows, and then walked out together. My MIL wasn't too thrilled with the breach of etiquette but my family expected it. My Daddy said that he couldn't give me away because I wasn't his to give but that he was sure approving of the man I'd chosen. That was 23 years ago. My daddy was a man ahead of his time. ;) Edited August 2, 2017 by Frosch 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Oh boy, I really hope this opinion is in the minority. I love weddings! See, I cannot understand liking weddings at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 See, I cannot understand liking weddings at all. My husband hates weddings. Hates them. Thinks the whole thing is stupid. I was surprised when he showed up at the wedding reception we had a few months after our private, small ceremony. I love weddings. I deeply regret letting his hatred of weddings and traditions(he also hates Christmas and birthday celebrations) overshadow what was also my wedding. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 I love weddings. They so embody hope. At ours, as in many Jewish weddings as several pp noted, his parents both walked him down the aisle (first); and both mine walked me down (at the end of the procession of grandmothers, attendants, and flower girl). For each of us, our parents hugged & kissed us, then sat down. No "giving away" for either of us. At a later point in the ceremony, all four parents and the grandmothers stood together as the rabbi did a particular blessing over the two of us. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 My husband hates weddings. Hates them. Thinks the whole thing is stupid. I was surprised when he showed up at the wedding reception we had a few months after our private, small ceremony. I love weddings. I deeply regret letting his hatred of weddings and traditions(he also hates Christmas and birthday celebrations) overshadow what was also my wedding. Being in my own wedding (or any wedding) is what my definition of hell is. I know people often abuse the term of hell, but in this instance, I am using it as in the literal meaning. I am an anthiest, but, if there is a hell if would be a wedding that never ended. I would not marry anyone if I have to have a wedding of any kind. I have ended otherwise good relationships over this. They were unable to understand why I felt this way and did not take me seriously when I said I would never have a wedding. I was always open and said it was the hill I would die on. After what my inlaws did to my son and I (but mostly my son) last Christmas, I no longer care for that holiday either. I am meh birthdays, or more accurately I am meh on unsanely big celebrations for birthday's. I prefer small celebrations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 It also just hit me, it has been 3 years since our reltionship started (10 since I met them) and my inlaws have never wished me a happy birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 In Colorado the couple walks in, fills out the paperwork, shows the clerk their ID's, and walk out married. Honestly it should be that way everywhere, then the ceremony is for people who want it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 It also just hit me, it has been 3 years since our reltionship started (10 since I met them) and my inlaws have never wished me a happy birthday. That's extra specially not nice! Grrrrrrr 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I like marriage ceremonies. I do not like what the wedding industry has done to them. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Being in my own wedding (or any wedding) is what my definition of hell is. I know people often abuse the term of hell, but in this instance, I am using it as in the literal meaning. I am an anthiest, but, if there is a hell if would be a wedding that never ended. I would not marry anyone if I have to have a wedding of any kind. I have ended otherwise good relationships over this. They were unable to understand why I felt this way and did not take me seriously when I said I would never have a wedding. I was always open and said it was the hill I would die on. After what my inlaws did to my son and I (but mostly my son) last Christmas, I no longer care for that holiday either. I am meh birthdays, or more accurately I am meh on unsanely big celebrations for birthday's. I prefer small celebrations. Well, that certainly is an alternative view on wedding ceremonies. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I think that my own extreme shyness influenced my perception of the whole walking down the aisle thing. I didn't like the idea of being "on display". That wasn't even close to being the main reason that we eloped, but it was a point of relief for me! I'm so glad that most women have more confidence! That's why I didn't want a traditional wedding, but I wound up giving into one anyway. I walked my own butt down the aisle, and it was excruciating. I wouldn't have liked it any better on someone's arm. I'm told I walked very fast. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Can he walk her down, and just skip the "giving away" part? Kelly That is what we did. The aisle wasn't big enough for three people, and I would have been squeezed between them. Mom and I did wedding planning, and walking me down the aisle and the dance was important to Dad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I like marriage ceremonies. I do not like what the wedding industry has done to them.This. I grew up in a community where a wedding was at your church with cake and punch in the hall after... anything else was just showing off lol ... I love the idea of standing together and making a declaration of your commitment. I am fine with friends and family to support it... but spending ridiculous money and letting the planning consume you... not a fan. Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I wonder about this sometimes. What would you do if your daughter didn't have a dad? I don't like the idea of finding a substitute man such as an uncle. I think it's just fine for the bride to walk down the aisle alone or with the flower girl. Then again I don't feel like I "own" my children. :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Come to think of it, I don't think either of my 1st SIL's parents were at her wedding. :P My 2nd SIL, I don't remember - well actually I was late due to an unexpected detour and missed that part! My youngest sister was walked down by my dad. But, she was a daddy's girl through and through. :P She's nobody's property though, and I'm certain her husband had no fantasies about that. :P 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I wonder about this sometimes. What would you do if your daughter didn't have a dad? I don't like the idea of finding a substitute man such as an uncle. I think it's just fine for the bride to walk down the aisle alone or with the flower girl. Then again I don't feel like I "own" my children. :p Some women walk alone - I did. Some have their mom walk. Some have grandfather or another father figure. <shrug> Lots of women marry without their dad there. Huh, I just realized that none of my 4 nieces had their dad walk them. The dad of 3 of them had died. My brother has dementia and was not at his daughter's wedding at all. They all managed to get married. :-) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 The church where my husband and I were married had two aisles. So we walked in at the the same time, each of us with both of our parents. Then during the service there was a part about uniting our families and each set of parents welcoming their new son or daughter, and all four of our parents participated. No one gave anyone away, rather we were welcomed into each other's family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 A friend's DD had her brothers (she has several brothers, no sisters) canoe her across a lake to the ceremony. Her parents waited with the rest of us, at the site of the ceremony. There was no giving away. It was one of the most beautifully done weddings I've ever attended. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Our wedding was *very* low key especially for the time. I actually regret that it wasn't more laid back! Unity candles were expected but I dislike the imagery so we had an oil lamp and we each poured in oil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I used to not like wedding ceremonies so much, but the older I get, the more I appreciate all that they symbolize. I like the idea of doing what feels meaningful to you. I think if I did my wedding over, I'd walk down the aisle with both of my parents. We were very close and they were a big part of my life. It wouldn't symbolize giving me away; it would symbolize standing behind my decision with love, just like they stood behind all of my other important decisions growing up (well, most of them!). I also like the idea of others being part of (even just attending) the ceremony because marriage is not always easy and life can be tough, and the symbolism of having other people lovingly behind you and behind your decision is wonderful and affirming. The parents could walk their child down the aisle, each give her (or him) a hug, and then sit down without saying anything. I love the image of the bridge and groom walking around the lake with their parents in the above example. Once a ceremony becomes more about keeping up with cultural standards and commercialism, then forget it. I am not opposed to eloping or doing it very differently, either. It needs to be what is meaningful to the couple. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas_mom Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Hmmmm, me and hubby walked together down the aisles. It 's part of our church tradition. There is no giving the bride away in our church, unless someone wants it. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I wouldn't let my dad walk me down the isle and give me away. I walked alone - no waving. My eyes were fixed on dh. My dad hadn't ever been involved in my life and I didn't think he had any right to give me away; I wasn't his. That said, I realized later how much it hurt his feelings and I regretted the decision. I think a better solution would have been to let him walk me down, but no indication of "giving away". At the time, having him more involved in my wedding than he was would have been distressing to me and I'm sure I didn't need that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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