Help me be a better hostess - please-

[Outdoorsy Type]

I'm having out of town company over this weekend. It's someone my husband knows but hasn't seen in a long time.

 

I feel extremely anxious over this.

 

My house isn't decorated well. Not many pictures on the wall, dirt stains on the couch arms. It's not disgusting, but I'm tired a lot and it embarrasses me that all my drawers are packed with junk. He will be staying in our very clean travel trailer, but come inside to eat/visit.

 

I have two dinners and two breakfasts to make. I'm not a good cook. At all. I mean i have a good chance of at least one thing being ruined every meal. 😫

 

 

Having people over is painfully stressful to me. I get exhausted cleaning and preparing, /and pretty much collapse. I love people, but I'm not a natural hostess.

 

Give me some tips or easy meals please. 😬

[saraha]

:grouphug:  You can do this!

[regentrude]

First: they are not coming to look at how your house is decorated. I entertain a lot. I don't "decorate". I provide food, drink, and good company - which is why people come. Not to look at your house. They will not look into the drawers. 

 

Can you pinpoint what you are having trouble with when you cook? Are you attempting too ambitious meals with unfamiliar ingredients?

Hosting is not the time to experiment with new dishes. Cook something you have cooked before multiple times.

Food can be simple.

Breakfast: eggs and bacon. Cereal. Bagels and cream cheese. Fruit. Yoghurt. Impossible to mess up! But out a few choices and let guests serve themselves.

 

Dinners:

Pasta with a nice sauce and a salad.

A roast, or a grilled chicken. If that sounds intimidating, get a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and just make some sides.

Get takeout.

Some of the better supermarkets offer meals to take home. 

Or go out to eat. When I am staying overnight at somebody's house for several days, I take them out to dinner one evening.

 

Don't stress. They don't come to inspect - they come to spend time with your DH. 

Surely there must be some meal you are comfortable cooking?

 

 

Edited March 8, 2017 by regentrude

[Mbelle]

Unless, he has some dietary or health issues, he can just eat what y'all usually eat.

Grilling out is easy.  Hamburgers, salad, potato chips.  Ice cream for dessert.  Or pasta, salad, bread, wine, buy a dessert.

 

Breakfast: Toast and peanut butter,  or cereal, or pillsbury frozen biscuits and eggs and deli ham?  Tater tots and sausage?

[Bambam]

Soups? Chili? Add fritos and maybe shredded cheese and you are good. 

Or do this one (btw, I throw in frozen chicken breasts and after about 3 hours, pull them out and shred them and toss them back in.) http://allrecipes.com/recipe/89539/slow-cooker-chicken-tortilla-soup/

Again - add shredded cheese to the top, buy a bag of tortilla chips, and done. 

 

Are you okay using purchased pizza crusts? If so, get some pizza sauce, mozzarella, sliced pepperoni (from the deli, so much better than the packaged stuff), and use the other veggies in your frig. Easy dinner. Add a salad if you want. 

 

Breakfast - often I cheat. I go to Panera Bread and get their dozen bagels for like $8-9. Add a tub of cream cheese (don't buy it there, it is expensive), and breakfast is done. 

 

I know this is easy to say but hard to hear, don't worry about your house. I think people don't really care about the state of anyone's house. As long as there isn't feces or urine on the floor, it is good. 

 

Make a list of things to ask him. Make a list of things you might like to discuss. That makes it handy when you can't think of anything to talk about - you can go look at your list. I'd make break times for myself. Maybe a walk? Maybe a trip to a local park for a short hike?

 

 

Edited March 8, 2017 by Bambam

[Annie G]

You can do this!  :grouphug:

 

I would encourage you to do as much food prep ahead of time.   I do a breakfast pizza that has crescent roll dough, eggs, sausage, and cheese. It's SUPER easy and reheats beautifully.  Or just have muffins and scrambled eggs or something. But doing things ahead is a big help. If you like sausage or bacon, cook it ahead and just warm it the day you serve it.  Frozen biscuits are super easy and very good. 

 

Dinner- things that can be made ahead will make you less stressed. Chili, twice baked potatoes, taco meat, spaghetti sauce.  

 

Tell us something you'd like and I bet we can help you streamline it so that you can enjoy the weekend and not feel stressed. 

[Carol in Cal.]

Make ahead stuff is your friend.

Bagged salads, bottled dressings, etc.

Make chili a day before he gets there.  It usually improves overnight anyway!  Make cookies, ditto.  Two kinds, one for each night.

 

Maybe buy one of those rotisserie chickens at Costco for the other evening meal.

 

One of my 'old reliable' go to meals for a smallish group is cheese fondue.  That is VERY hard to ruin, and it's quite festive and fairly unusual.

 

 

 

I like to make chocolate waffles for a 'wow' breakfast.  Basically you add 1/3 cup of chocolate chips into a standard recipe of waffle batter, and voila!  People are ridiculously impressed with this.  I have a nonstick waffle iron that is easy to use, but I also am ruthless about throwing away a waffle that comes out a little burnt. 

 

 

[Arctic Bunny]

Oh, hugs, it sounds like this is really stressing you out! Everything will probably go much more smoothly if you are able to relax - really!

 

This weekend... well, not the time to worry about drawers! How about just the basics for cleaning, and a meal plan? Maybe a flower arrangement for the entrance or table? Fresh fruit in a nice bowl in the kitchen?

 

What do you feel most comfortable cooking? A roast chicken dinner? Hamburgers? Stew or chili and buns? Soup?

[alisoncooks]

OP - I can really relate to your post. I definitely have some of your same concerns/insecurities.

 

Some meals I make when we have company over:

Spaghetti, salad, garlic bread

Beef stew (crockpot), freezer yeast rolls, canned "fried" apples with cinnamon, something green like green beans

Tacos (meat in crockpot) with fixin's, rice, black beans, fruit salad

Chili and cornbread are pretty easy and filling

Burgers (and let DH grill them while hanging with his pal) and you can cover baked beans (I doctor the canned kind), chips, potato or pasta salad

 

Add a dessert to make it special. Ice cream sundae bar is easy and fix-it-yourself fun.

 

Breakfast: cinnamon rolls (yep, I go with Pillsbury), hash brown casserole, bacon cooked in the oven for big batch cooking & little mess. Or a breakfast/egg casserole, donuts, bagels and cream cheese. Assorted fruit.

Edited March 8, 2017 by alisoncooks

[Excelsior! Academy]

Loving this thread!!

[SparklyUnicorn]

go out to eat, order out

 

scrub the bathroom, the rest...pah who cares...I don't care at all about stuff like that...lot's of people don't

 

tell your husband you are stressed and make sure he plays host as well

 

 

[lavender's green]

I'm also a nervous hostess. I host overnight guests a few times a year and sometimes throw a brunch for the church ladies. My place is messy because of my young kids, and definitely not "decorated." I've learned to relax and start having fun with it.

 

Here's what I do:

 

Clean the bathrooms (even the non-public ones, just in case) and kitchen. Stock towels and toilet paper in easy-to-find places. Don't neglect this; it gets embarrassing for everyone, ask me how I know! Clean the floors. You're good.

 

Visually declutter. I saw visually, because it doesn't matter if your drawers are packed to the gills, it just matters what people can see. I've heard to clear all horizontal surfaces, which I think is pretty sound advice. Just do the public spaces. No one will care about the messy kid room.

 

Flowers, fruit bowls, pretty candles. Don't overwhelm the space, do 1 per room, just a nice little thing to draw attention to itself and away from less-flattering things. I also like to have iced tea or another drink in an attractive drink dispenser. That'll really make people go, "wow, this lady is on top of things!" (skip this if it feels like too much!) Maybe set out a bowl of candies or chocolates. I think it adds warmth and hospitality to a space, though I don't usually do it because my kids will devour them in minute, flat!

 

For food...do not cook all the meals yourself. That is a recipe for burnout, and I say this as someone who's a good cook and enjoys it. For one breakfast get something easy, like fruit, bagels, and yogurt. Spread it all on the counter and say "help yourself!" For another, why not take the guest to a local restaurant for brunch. Go as foolproof as possible for dinners. And in general, cultivate the ability to laugh at yourself. Add wine if that will help everyone relax! Don't be afraid to say, "You know what, I really messed up this dinner, and we are going to order a pizza instead!"

 

I'm a list person, so I like to make master to-do list, and then schedule when I'm going to do the tasks, so that I'm only doing a couple things per day to prep for the event, rather than scramble around at the last minute (been there, it's not fun, and your guests will pick up on how unsettled and rushed you've been). I also like to schedule two grocery runs, one a few days out, and the second for the day before the event for the things I forgot.

 

 

 

 

 

[Rachel]

Hosting people stresses me out too but I'm always happy that I did.

 

Don't stress about your home, most people don't have fancy homes. Clean the bathrooms, pick up the major clutter, you'll be ok.

 

As far as cooking, do something simple or even do take out if it's in the budget.

[lewber]

Enjoy your visitor! Remember they've come to visit. Make it as easy as you can. Clean bathrooms, easy food, fun stories. You'll have a great time!

[madteaparty]

If your home is good enough for you, it's good enough for anyone!

BBQ is easy :) also, I've been invited to dinner parties where everything was take out, delicious :)

[Outdoorsy Type]

Thank you everyone!

 

I bought plenty of fruit, an easy dinner for the day he gets in, which is also when I'll be very busy, and I have a plan.

 

The bathrooms were deep cleaned two days ago, and I'll get them again tomorrow. I think I can get things under control. Somehow, company always ends up seeing whatever the biggest mess in my house is at that time, but I'm going to ignore what I can't possibly fix and scrub the kitchens/bathrooms/living room.

 

My main issue with cooking is that I cook very simply for my every day meals. I do stir fry, spaghetti, baked salmon, etc. I don't do many sides, and I'm often exhausted, so cooking is my only goal from 4-5pm. When I have guests everything is thrown off course, and I forget what I'm doing. I'll realize mid recipe that I omitted something because I'm tired or distracted.

 

I basically have one day to finish getting ready, which is why I feel anxious and am trying to prioritize.

 

I do appreciate the encouragement.

Edited March 9, 2017 by Outdoorsy Type

[Rebel Yell]

Do not worry AT ALL about decorations. Or the arms of your couch. Sweep the floors, clean the bathrooms. Gather all the trash and any old newspapers or magazines. Good enough!

 

Make breakfast easy. Toaster waffles, bagels & cream cheese, cereal, fruit. Precooked sausages heated in the microwave.

 

Dinners:

prebagged salad, nice loaf of Italian bread from the bakery section of the grocery store, spaghetti, jarred sauce, and precooked frozen meatballs. Wine if you and your guest would enjoy.

Takeout Chinese food? Some local specialty? Sandwich ring from subway or your local grocery store with chips, good pickles, store bought potato salad, and a veggie platter.

Ice cream for dessert. Or a cake or something from the bakery- grocery store bakery is fine, I often like them better than the "fancy" bakeries

 

Enjoy the visit, and let us know how it goes, OK?

[Ausmumof3]

I find hosting goes best when I just cook basic good I make for us all the time. Way less stressful and often it tastes better anyway. I usually stock up on toilet paper and a couple of nice drinks, make sure the guests have clean linens and towels, and call it good. If you can afford to have a meal out or takeaway even better.

 

Also I find it way less stressful having one bloke than a family as they are less likely to want to use your laundry or something when you've shoved everything in there to hide it 😂

[Squawky Acres]

I love the suggestion of even cleaning the bathrooms you think won't get used -- because, you never know.  Probably not such an issue with one guy, but certainly something that happens when a family visits and everyone needs to use the restroom at once before they leave.  

 

If you don't get to everything, or find you need to stuff things into less-used rooms to get rid of the visual clutter, talk with your husband ahead of time to make sure he doesn't offer a "tour" of the house, inviting your guest to poke his nose into every messy storage room and less-clean bathroom.  WHY do people do this?

[Annie G]

Your plan sounds great! Hope you have a fun weekend. 

[Jennifer132]

I consider myself a decent hostess. I don't decorate either, but that isn't part of hostessing, imo. Hostessing is about making people feel at home in your home. Offer them a drink, before and between meals. Have nuts or candy out on the coffee table, within reach. If they seem cold or too warm, adjust the air, offer to turn on a fan or get them a blanket. After meals, offer coffee. Sit and chat, asking them questions about themselves (people like talking about themselves!). At supper have an easy main dish like soup or chili, and then add sides like raw veggies, fruit salad and bread and butter. For lunches, have sandwhich fixings and chips. Make sure they have enough blankets and towels in their room. And ask if they need anything in particular. That's about all that is needed to be a decent hostess. 🙂

[gardenmom5]

in addition to what has been said - it's not how your house is decorated, simple food is fine, etc.

is there space in the closet they can use to hang things up? (and not have to live out of a suitcase.  a drawer is nice too.)  a box of tissue near their bed?

available snacks.

let them know what they can help themselves to,  and have easy access to needed items.  or even forgotten items.

[Outdoorsy Type]

in addition to what has been said - it's not how your house is decorated, simple food is fine, etc.

is there space in the closet they can use to hang things up? (and not have to live out of a suitcase. a drawer is nice too.) a box of tissue near their bed?

available snacks.

let them know what they can help themselves to, and have easy access to needed items. or even forgotten items.

I have snacks for the trailer and in the house, thanks for reminding me to put Kleenex etc! I usually have instant coffee, mugs, crackers, etc. Edited March 9, 2017 by Outdoorsy Type

[Reefgazer]

Go to Target and get a few pieces of wall art, a cover to go over the couch, a nice tablecloth and cut fresh flowers for your table, and a crock-pot to cook a few dinners in (recipes online).  Serve sandwiches for lunch, and waffles with syrup/piece of fruit for breakfast.  Oh, and  keep the drawers closed. ;)

I'm having out of town company over this weekend. It's someone my husband knows but hasn't seen in a long time.

I feel extremely anxious over this.

My house isn't decorated well. Not many pictures on the wall, dirt stains on the couch arms. It's not disgusting, but I'm tired a lot and it embarrasses me that all my drawers are packed with junk. He will be staying in our very clean travel trailer, but come inside to eat/visit.

I have two dinners and two breakfasts to make. I'm not a good cook. At all. I mean i have a good chance of at least one thing being ruined every meal. 😫


Having people over is painfully stressful to me. I get exhausted cleaning and preparing, /and pretty much collapse. I love people, but I'm not a natural hostess.

Give me some tips or easy meals please. 😬

 

Edited March 9, 2017 by reefgazer

[meena]

It sounds like you have a great plan already underway. Making sure to get the bathrooms cleaned is always one of my biggest tasks. You already have that under control, so the rest will fall into place.

 

Some of the tastiest meals are simple and what you listed sounds good! If guests throw you off while you are cooking, can you prep things ahead to help simplify the process? Like chop all the veggies you need or whatever and then put the amount you need for each meal into separate containers or ziplock bags that you've labeled what they are for. Pre-cook the meat for spaghetti (if you are using meat). Sides don't have to be complicated--raw veggies (carrots/broccoli/cauliflower with ranch for dipping); raw fruits; salad from a bag; steamed frozen veggies seasoned generously with butter, salt or seasoned salt, and pepper; french bread warmed (serve with a dish of olive oil sprinkled with pepper, oregano, basil, garlic and/or balsamic vinegar for an extra touch that is super easy), cracker/cheese/seasonal fruit plate.

 

Another thing to do if you use recipes is to print out or photocopy, then check off with a pen as you use ingredients and complete steps to keep from losing your place.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Make ahead stuff is your friend.

Bagged salads, bottled dressings, etc.

Make chili a day before he gets there.  It usually improves overnight anyway!  Make cookies, ditto.  Two kinds, one for each night.

 

Maybe buy one of those rotisserie chickens at Costco for the other evening meal.

 

One of my 'old reliable' go to meals for a smallish group is cheese fondue.  That is VERY hard to ruin, and it's quite festive and fairly unusual.

 

 

 

I like to make chocolate waffles for a 'wow' breakfast.  Basically you add 1/3 cup of chocolate chips into a standard recipe of waffle batter, and voila!  People are ridiculously impressed with this.  I have a nonstick waffle iron that is easy to use, but I also am ruthless about throwing away a waffle that comes out a little burnt.

 

 

How are you making fondue so that it's foolproof??? 😀😀😀. I live in Switzerland, fondue's home country, and fondue is notoriously difficult for newbies, and still occasionally troublesome for old pros. Lol

[SparklyUnicorn]

How are you making fondue so that it's foolproof??? 😀😀😀. I live in Switzerland, fondue's home country, and fondue is notoriously difficult for newbies, and still occasionally troublesome for old pros. Lol

 

Well they do sell already made fondue.  It's expensive, but basically you just heat it up.

 

Surely you have stuff like that.  It's probably not as good, but good in a pinch.

[Garga]

In our playroom/schoolroom/everything room there is a very old couch with stains on the arms. When guests visit (like this weekend, my son is having a few teens to visit), I put little throw blankets on the arms and tuck then down under the cushions.

 

My mom hated to cook. When we had guests, it was spaghetti with jarred sauce with some ground beef added to it. People always seemed pleased to eat it. She would have steamed veggies on the side. (Something simple from a bag in the freezer section.)

 

Bathrooms are important and the cooking areas in the kitchen are important to be clean. The rest...not so much. People don't really care. They might think, "I would like my house to be different/cleaner/better decorated," but they really don't care if you're happy with your own house. As long as the bathroom and food prep areas are clean, they don't care.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Well they do sell already made fondue.  It's expensive, but basically you just heat it up.

 

Surely you have stuff like that.  It's probably not as good, but good in a pinch.

 

Ah, ok.  We turn our noses up at the pre-mixed stuff, but yes, you can buy it here.   :laugh:   I'm just teasing.  

 

I can't count how many times I've been making *real* fondue, panicked, and called my DH (not a cook, but Swiss) in to "save" the fondue.  He usually just stirs faster or adds another glug of wine, and somehow it all turns out ok.  lol.  

[Mbelle]

I was raised in a home that was perfect and when anyone was over, which was often, it was even more perfect.

I still like my house fairly tidy and clean when people come over.

However, I started going to other people's homes and they were not perfect, some of them not by a longshot!

I did not care one single bit what their house looked like.  I was there to hang out and be friends!

It has really  changed my outlook.  It feels very freeing!