How would advise a friend who would like to lose 20 lbs?

[three4me]

For the first time in my life since junior high (besides pregnancy) I've gained weight. About 15 lbs since my two year old weaned a little over year ago. I've got a sweet tooth. And I love carbs. I've never been on a diet. I need something that will be sustainable, doesn't necessarily need to be a quick fix. 

 

So, if you were going to give a friend advice, what would you tell them?

[Um_2_4]

My friend gained 25 lbs after the birth of her daughter with a very serious diagnosis. Total stress eating. She did 2 things: no eating after certain time (except water, I think for her 7pm) and no white foods (ie no white flour, no refined sugar, baked potatoes, white macaroni, etc.). For someone with no underlying issues, this seemed to work for her in about 4 months.

[AmandaVT]

I think the quickest and easiest thing would be to cut out any caloric beverages and replace with more water. Try intermittent fasting - pick an eating window of 8-10 hours and only eat during that time period. 11am-7pm for example. 

 

Then, depending on current eating habits, start replacing various processed foods with whole foods. Swap out a sweet treat for a fruit once a day, etc.

[Slache]

No sugar no bread. I have pizza and chocolate on Fridays, but that's it.

 

Insanity Max 30.

[Kassia]

I am a big believer in making small changes one at a time.  I'll make a small change for a few weeks until it becomes a habit and then move on to the next one.  It works great for me and I don't feel deprived.  The weight comes off slowly and it doesn't seem to change my metabolism.  I've been doing this for years and I can't even remember the way I used to eat.  I was at maintenance for 18 months and then perimenopause hit and I gained 6 pounds in a month while eating well.  Since then, I made two small changes and now I'm at my lowest weight.  

Edited November 6, 2016 by Erica H

[three4me]

No sugar no bread. I have pizza and chocolate on Fridays, but that's it.

 

Insanity Max 30.

I think this would be too much to soon for me!

[hornblower]

I was in the same boat a few years ago. For me, the trick was a combo of green smoothies & calorie counting.

My green smoothies are green - at least 50% leafy greens and then just whatever frozen fruit I have on hand. 

I eat high carb vegan but I portion control & the things I know I can't control myself around, I either don't have in the house at all or I let myself eat only AFTER I've drunk a green smoothie.  Those things are filling LOL so it means that when I get my hands on the really good bread or fresh bagels I will only have a small portion because I'm already full. In the winter time, I tend to use veg soups instead because cold smoothies don't appeal as much but I use it as the same idea - fill up on the health things first & then enjoy a small portion of the other things. 

And logging calories. For a while I did it on just a sticky note but now I use My Fitness Pal. 

[Guest]

I think the quickest and easiest thing would be to cut out any caloric beverages and replace with more water. Try intermittent fasting - pick an eating window of 8-10 hours and only eat during that time period. 11am-7pm for example.

 

Then, depending on current eating habits, start replacing various processed foods with whole foods. Swap out a sweet treat for a fruit once a day, etc.

This is very close to what I do if I'm getting a little fluffy. I drink water 98% of the time; one hot tea in the morning is the only non-water drink. I keep to a 12/12 hour framework almost always. 12 hours free to eat, 12 hours not eating. Eating a protein (few carb) breakfast also makes a big, very quick difference for me. If I eat a carb-y breakfast, I just have the munchies repeatedly all day. Eggs for breakfast? I forget about food entirely.

[Slache]

I think this would be too much to soon for me!

I was responding to what you said your problems are and I personally do well with hard change. Perhaps you could join MFP or Lose It and incorporate a gradual change? And you should exercise. Everyone should exercise.

[Veritaserum]

I've never dieted before this fall. I started seven weeks ago and I'm more than 20% to my goal. I started by exercising. I walk/jog for 45 minutes 3-5 times per week. Then I got a food scale and started counting calories. My target is 300 calories less than my maintence caloric intake. I'm taller than average, so you might need to adjust that. I did low carb for a couple of weeks, but now I just stick to minimally processed (for the most part) and within my caloric "budget."

 

I wanted this to be something I can maintain without it feeling like a punishment, so I have no restrictions aside from total calories. Counting calories has helped me realize the costs of various foods, which makes me choose more thoughtfully. The sweetener I was using in my coffee, for example, had way more calories than I thought. Now I use Sweet Drops (stevia). I've replaced my Yoplait with plain Greek yogurt. I snack on carrots or snow peas with my guacamole instead of tortilla chips. I still eat pizza, but realizing that slice of deep dish has almost twice the calories of a normal piece causes me to make different choices.

[Greta]

I would recommend reading the book by and/or watching the YouTube videos of Dr. Jason Fung.

[Scarlett]

For the first time in my life since junior high (besides pregnancy) I've gained weight. About 15 lbs since my two year old weaned a little over year ago. I've got a sweet tooth. And I love carbs. I've never been on a diet. I need something that will be sustainable, doesn't necessarily need to be a quick fix.

 

So, if you were going to give a friend advice, what would you tell them?

I had success with the 17 day diet.....you can Google it, but it's basic premise is strict for the first 17 days....less strict for the next 17 days and so on until the fourth leg is either starting over strict or maintaining. It is a quick loss plan for first 17 days. I could never go quite as strict and never for 17 days. First 17 days is no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy except one probiotic per day. 2 fruit per day. Other than that you can have all the lean protein and veggies you want. The day starts with hot lemon water which I believe gets your system going....you can have coffee but no cream or sugar.

Edited November 6, 2016 by Scarlett

[nd293]

Buy smaller plates.

Change everyone's eating habits to healthier ones, not just your own.

Cut out bread, or whatever might be your standard easy, go-to carb.

Up the vegetable content.

Learn new ways of cooking that up the flavour-per-serve ratio (Asian cooking is great for this).

[Amy in NH]

Eat less sugar and carbs. Don't drink milk or juice. Eat more veges, raw is preferred. Eat smaller portions at mealtimes. Drink lots of water. Exercise or walk 30 minutes per day.

 

Wish I could take my own advice. :p

Edited November 6, 2016 by Amy in NH

[three4me]

Ok, so we eat a lot of bagels or sandwiches for lunch. What are some good go-to options for meals? Things to keep around that are easy? I will plan to just drink water, and skip my dessert I treat myself with after the kids are in bed. 😳

[Guest]

My Fitness Pal

 

Reduce your processed carbs down to 1 serving per day

 

Soup is a good lunch. Make lettuce wraps instead of sandwiches.

Easy is cooking protein ahead of time, freezing in single serve portions to be used as needed.

[Slache]

Ok, so we eat a lot of bagels or sandwiches for lunch. What are some good go-to options for meals? Things to keep around that are easy? I will plan to just drink water, and skip my dessert I treat myself with after the kids are in bed. 😳

Quinoa salad

Broccoli salad

Greek salad

Gluten free wraps

Slimfast

 

Eta:WINE!

Edited November 6, 2016 by Slache

[hornblower]

soups & lunch bowls. 

a complex grain, legume, veg.  Plan your dinners so that there's leftovers for the next day or two which can be reassmembled in different combos. 

here's a post with a bunch of various ideas http://www.thefullhelping.com/how-to-create-a-perfect-vegan-lunch-bowl/

Edited November 6, 2016 by hornblower

[Slache]

Buy a good water bottle. A pretty glass one. My favorite: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BUTN4ZI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478405300&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=glass%2Bwater%2Bbottle&dpPl=1&dpID=41X1mJr64XL&ref=plSrch&th=1&psc=1. THEY HAVE THEM AT TARGET.

[Slache]

Sorry for screaming. I don't know what came over me.

[three4me]

My Fitness Pal

 

Reduce your processed carbs down to 1 serving per day

 

Soup is a good lunch. Make lettuce wraps instead of sandwiches.

Easy is cooking protein ahead of time, freezing in single serve portions to be used as needed.

What goes in the lettuce wraps?

[three4me]

Buy a good water bottle. A pretty glass one. My favorite: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BUTN4ZI/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478405300&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=glass%2Bwater%2Bbottle&dpPl=1&dpID=41X1mJr64XL&ref=plSrch&th=1&psc=1. THEY HAVE THEM AT TARGET.

I have a bottle I love. Unfortunately our filtered water and ice dispenser on the refrigerator broke a couple days ago and our tap water is gross. I need to come up with a short term solution until it's fixed.

[Guest]

What goes in the lettuce wraps?

Whatever you would normally put in a sandwich or wrap.

[Carol in Cal.]

Poke on seaweed salad

non-cream soups

A really big salad with almost no dressing on it, that includes some protein.  I find that balsamic vinegar or rice wine vinegar don't need to be cut with oil to be a good mild dressing.  I have friends who use plain lemon juice for salad dressing, but I don't care for that.  Make sure some of the veggies are hefty/crunchy but still lo cal, like cucumber slices or red cabbage.

[Amy in NH]

What goes in the lettuce wraps?

Whatever proteins you normally put on bread, although peanut butter would be weird. I think the idea is to use the lettuce leaf like a tortilla or wrap.

[Slache]

I have a bottle I love. Unfortunately our filtered water and ice dispenser on the refrigerator broke a couple days ago and our tap water is gross. I need to come up with a short term solution until it's fixed.

Brita.

[PeterPan]

It sorta sounds like you're snacking a lot.  You may not realize how much you're consuming, especially if you were nursing, etc.  I'm not one to not eat, so I decided I needed to work out and put on more muscle.  That way, no matter what I eat (within reason, my normal excessive nibbling and indulging), I don't gain weight now.  I enrolled my ds, who was about the same age as your oldest, in classes at the Y and started working out in the women's area.  Not only did I stop the weight gain, but I lost 20 pounds in a year. :D And my kid got lots of good exercise and now is on team gymnastics and team swimming.   :thumbup:

 

I love the Y.  So I would say get your kids signed up for classes, use the child care for your youngest, and go work out an hour three days a week.  That's all it has taken for me to lose 20, and I used to have thyroid problems, etc. etc.  Oh, I would lay off the carbs a bit.  You sound a little addicted there.  I would eat garlic daily or drink diluted cranberry juice or eat yogurt daily to get your gut back on track and kill the carb craving.  Your gut flora actually determine if you lose weight or not, per the studies.

Edited November 6, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Janie Grace]

I eat a lot of fresh mozzarella, tomato and basil salad. I like it with Kosher salt and olive oil. 

 

I'm with you, though. I have never struggled with weight and I have three pounds that have crept on in the past two months. I need to get my body moving more often and I also need to stop eating freakin Halloween candy. Among other things. 

 

It actually started when we had family visiting who eat a lot of fresh bread. I made sure I had it on hand for them and then I was all "OH MY GOSH, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING" (because I was generally careful about carbs before that) and I just sort of slid into a much friendlier relationship with bread. And now, I am distinctly more fluffy around the middle. 

[Amy in NH]

It sorta sounds like you're snacking a lot. You may not realize how much you're consuming, especially if you were nursing, etc. I'm not one to not eat, so I decided I needed to work out and put on more muscle. That way, no matter what I eat (within reason, my normal excessive nibbling and indulging), I don't gain weight now. I enrolled my ds, who was about the same age as your oldest, in classes at the Y and started working out in the women's area. Not only did I stop the weight gain, but I lost 20 pounds in a year. :D And my kid got lots of good exercise and now is on team gymnastics and team swimming. :thumbup:

 

I love the Y. So I would say get your kids signed up for classes, use the child care for your youngest, and go work out an hour three days a week. That's all it has taken for me to lose 20, and I used to have thyroid problems, etc. etc. Oh, I would lay off the carbs a bit. You sound a little addicted there. I would eat garlic daily or drink diluted cranberry juice or eat yogurt daily to get your gut back on track and kill the carb craving. Your gut flora actually determine if you lose weight or not, per the studies.

Our closest Y is 2 hours away.

[three4me]

It sorta sounds like you're snacking a lot. You may not realize how much you're consuming, especially if you were nursing, etc. I'm not one to not eat, so I decided I needed to work out and put on more muscle. That way, no matter what I eat (within reason, my normal excessive nibbling and indulging), I don't gain weight now. I enrolled my ds, who was about the same age as your oldest, in classes at the Y and started working out in the women's area. Not only did I stop the weight gain, but I lost 20 pounds in a year. :D And my kid got lots of good exercise and now is on team gymnastics and team swimming. :thumbup:

 

I love the Y. So I would say get your kids signed up for classes, use the child care for your youngest, and go work out an hour three days a week. That's all it has taken for me to lose 20, and I used to have thyroid problems, etc. etc. Oh, I would lay off the carbs a bit. You sound a little addicted there. I would eat garlic daily or drink diluted cranberry juice or eat yogurt daily to get your gut back on track and kill the carb craving. Your gut flora actually determine if you lose weight or not, per the studies.

Yeah, we don't have a good Y option here. We checked it out last year and just weren't impressed with the one that's close by. But the weather is nice here year round so I just need to make the time in my schedule to get outside. It just seems like whenever I'm intentionally exercising I feel hungry all the time. I really want to take sustainable baby steps and create new habits that will stick.

[nd293]

I think this would be too much to soon for me!

One thing I did was switch from regular chocolate to high quality dark chocolate. It satisfies the craving (once you get use to it!) without making you crave more, if you know what I mean. I only have a piece once a day, after dinner. That's a family change, although the kids have regular chocolate.

[nd293]

Ok, so we eat a lot of bagels or sandwiches for lunch. What are some good go-to options for meals?

The weightloss programme I was on had lots of lunch recipes with bean or chickpea based salads. I also really enjoyed an open sandwich on pumpernickel bread - roast beef, beetroot, leaves, horseradish or mustard, tomato. On rice cakes: turkey, sprouts, avocado and cranberry jelly or avocado, tomato, onion and Tabasco. Or use a very thin wrap (mountain bread here in Australia) and fill with salady things - tuna nicoise is great (tuna, egg, olive, tomato, leaves) or chicken salad using yoghurt instead of mayonnaise, plus a little sweet chilli sauce. All these are from recipes that came in at 350 calories or under. ETA: I forgot Vietnamese spring roll wraps - the rice paper ones you wet - lots of recipes online.

Edited November 6, 2016 by nd293

[Outdoorsy Type]

Yeah, we don't have a good Y option here. We checked it out last year and just weren't impressed with the one that's close by. But the weather is nice here year round so I just need to make the time in my schedule to get outside. It just seems like whenever I'm intentionally exercising I feel hungry all the time. I really want to take sustainable baby steps and create new habits that will stick.

If I eat protein right after I exercise, I'm far less likely to snack more. I also struggle with snacking, emotional eating, and late night indulgences. It's a constant struggle. Exercise keeps me a lot closer to sane, so I try to walk or jog 30min to an hour several times a week. When my kids were younger I pushed strollers or chased their bikes. FWIW that has helped keep my numbers looking good even when my weight is higher than recommended.

[Laura Corin]

Perhaps the easiest option is the No S diet.  It doesn't force you to give anything up, but instead to change your eating patterns.  Another eating pattern option is 5:2.  Good luck!

 

Exercise is good too, but it's hard to lose weight just with exercise.

 

http://nosdiet.com/

 

https://thefastdiet.co.uk/

[HomeMum]

1000% focus on routine and dedication. Its not easy and its not fast. Some diets will work fast for some people, but its an anomaly. if you really want it, you're going to have to put in the effort. Get a diet and a workout plan and DO it. Find someone who can hold you accountable. 

[Carrie12345]

I'd ask her a bunch more questions to determine what would be the least miserable, and therefore most effective, methods for her!  :)

 

From the little you've shared, I'd tell you to get a water filter pitcher for now.  Pick some of your favorite "guilty pleasures" to have in genuine moderation.  Experiment with some new, hearty but healthy recipes to keep you satisfied.  Keep your carbs whole grain (that's one of my personal best changes, hands down.)  

 

Build muscle (my other best change.)  

 

I'm a firm believer in focusing on a healthy lifestyle with weight loss as its bonus, rather than focusing on weight loss and contorting yourself into a lifestyle you hate.

[lynn]

Don't drink calories. Plan your meals and snacks.

Edited November 6, 2016 by lynn

[VaKim]

Since you like sandwiches, switch to whole grain bread. It is more filling and has more staying power. There is nothing more satisfying for me for lunch than a good, "heavy" whole grain bread with peanut butter and a bit of jam. 

 

There is no way I could give up sugar and sweets, so I save them for the weekend. I also am doing fairly well with just getting in my 8-10 thousand steps a day as far as exercise is concerned. 

 

Decide how many meals you will have per day and stick to it. Whether it is 3 big ones or 4-5 small ones. No eating in between. 

 

Do it now before you get "old" like me and it is so very much harder.

[PeterPan]

It just seems like whenever I'm intentionally exercising I feel hungry all the time. I really want to take sustainable baby steps and create new habits that will stick.

 

Maybe your body is asking for more nutrition. More salad, more fruits and veges, more fiber, more protein, more healthy fats. Do you eat avocado?  Hummus?  I would do the exercising and just eat more healthy foods to go with it.  Then you get to eat more (which you already wanted), get a stronger body (from all those nutrients!), teach your kid good habits (score!), and still lose weight.

 

Fwiw, I don't do a lot of cardio when I work out.  I know a lot of people do, because they overtly go in to lose weight.  They'll get on the treadmill 40 minutes + because that's what it takes to start burning fat.  A lot of women do that cardio and skip the weight machines entirely.  I do the exact opposite.  Muscle burns more calories than fat, so my theory was to increase muscle and increase my overall metabolism, meaning I'd need to work out less.  Apparently there's a book sort of in that vein that says you only need to work out once a week.  (Body by Science, haven't read it yet, a friend told me about it.)  Anyways, that's what I do.  I work out with the weights and just some (20-30 min) on the treadmill or elliptical or zero runner.  It makes me strong but doesn't leave me RAVENOUS.  And then my body is burning more all day long, not just during the hungry time after I work out. 

[three4me]

Thanks for all the replies! I've got support from my family, so that will definitely help. I'm formulating a plan that I think will be doable.

 

I'm not really a snacker, unless I'm genuinely hungry. So as long as I fill up on good things at meal time I think I'll be ok. And I like the idea of having a very small indulgence after dinner. I think that will help my sweet tooth!

[mamaraby]

I am a big believer in making small changes one at a time. I'll make a small change for a few weeks until it becomes a habit and then move on to the next one. It works great for me and I don't feel deprived. The weight comes off slowly and it doesn't seem to change my metabolism. I've been doing this for years and I can't even remember the way I used to eat. I was at maintenance for 18 months and then perimenopause hit and I gained 6 pounds in a month while eating well. Since then, I made two small changes and now I'm at my lowest weight.

I'm quoting this because I think ot bears repeating and can get lost in the "solutions" of do this, don't eat that, low-carb, watch this, diet, diet advice (all of which may work for one person or another and may possibly work for the OP). Small changes, one at a time, that focus on sustainablilty and that don't require reliance on willpower will win out over any specific one size fits all diet every time.

 

Maybe start just by writing down what you eat every day (including quantities) so you have a clear idea of what you're eating. You don't even have to change anything. After a week take a look back. Maybe you find your snacking on x too much or you're drinking a lot of calories. Maybe you notice you eat few veggies. Maybe you don't get enough fiber. Maybe it's a long list of things. Pick just one thing to change and focus on that. My personal experience says that it's likely a few tweaks may take care of it without requiring you deprive yourself of everything you enjoy.

[three4me]

I'm quoting this because I think ot bears repeating and can get lost in the "solutions" of do this, don't eat that, low-carb, watch this, diet, diet advice (all of which may work for one person or another and may possibly work for the OP). Small changes, one at a time, that focus on sustainablilty and that don't require reliance on willpower will win out over any specific one size fits all diet every time.

 

Maybe start just by writing down what you eat every day (including quantities) so you have a clear idea of what you're eating. You don't even have to change anything. After a week take a look back. Maybe you find your snacking on x too much or you're drinking a lot of calories. Maybe you notice you eat few veggies. Maybe you don't get enough fiber. Maybe it's a long list of things. Pick just one thing to change and focus on that. My personal experience says that it's likely a few tweaks may take care of it without requiring you deprive yourself of everything you enjoy.

Thank you! I think this is why focusing on portion control will be a great first step.

[Guest]

If you were my friend, I would say, yes portion control is a great first step. Then I would direct you to My Fitness Pal so you could skip the learning curve, where you would realize its not just portion control, but the amount of processed simple carbs you eat. Swap those processed carbs for veg and a low amount of whole grains but make sure to stay in overall control of your carb/fat/protein ratio.

[Guest]

I wouldn't.

 

What works for me might not work for them, and even if it would they very often don't want (or can't, I guess) do it.

 

What I would tell a friend is to decide on something that makes intuitive sense to them and then DO IT.

[Sarah CB]

Having lost nearly 60 pounds since April, I'd say try a ketogenic diet (low carb, high fat), intermittent fasting, and the couch to 10 k program along with some strength training.  Also, tracking calories, weight, exercise and steps in an app like Lose It is very eye opening.

[Janeway]

Exercise. It never seems to matter too much what I eat, but exercise matters.

[Selkie]

DH and I both lost 20 pounds by giving up grains and almost all sugar (we still have ice cream once a week or so).

[Slartibartfast]

I have found that it was easier to give up coke/soda by switching to flavored soda water.

 

You can find it in any grocery stores. La Croix is a brand but most grocery stores have their own that is much cheaper.

[Lanny]

I would tell them that it requires 3 things: Diet, Exercise and Patience

[kiana]

What worked really well for me was increasing the barriers to going off-plan, while decreasing the barriers to eating a healthier diet of mostly unprocessed ingredients. So I stopped having convenience food such as cereal and stopped getting fast food. However, I had many prepared ingredients such as frozen chopped vegetables, and when things were busy those were extremely quick to prepare. It was a lot easier to drive past McDonalds when I knew I could have food on the table in just a few minutes of work for a lot less than I'd pay at the fast food joint, instead of having to come home and work for half an hour to peel, cut, and all these other things. 

 

I had been counting calories and it was working but I'd end up off-plan a lot because I was impatient and hangry.