What are the silliest comments that you have received regarding homeschooling?

[Mrs.Wilson]

Texas patriotism... I didn't fully realize how bad it was until I moved to another state.  It's sad really.

 

The silliest thing I have ever been told was by my SIL.  This was before my firstborn was even 3.  She insisted we should send our children to public school so they could witness and be an example to the other children.  I couldn't understand her logic.  So, I throw my children to the wolves, so to speak, so that they can be a light to them?  No thank you.

[TranquilMind]

Of course some could be either way but in lots of cases I can think of the families had never sent anyone to school. They weren't homeschooling now. They had never used brick and mortar school of any kind.

 

(Edited:  Too personal)

 

It's personality and upbringing , not the schooling environment.  I'm convinced of this, though I certainly agree some environments are better or worse for some personality types.

 

I can talk to anyone on the planet, anywhere.  I relate well to all sorts of people.  I was also traditionally schooled, as was virtually everyone in my generation. The difference was that my parents had amazing social skills.  My mom would speak to everyone everywhere we went, and was frequently offered jobs.  I remember many times being with my dad, and we'd spend half an hour talking to someone he met in a store or someplace.  I'd often talk to their kids, if any were present. 

 

Social skills training far predates the school years and occurs in the home/with the parents/guardians, I believe.

 

Edited to add:  I now have young adults of my own.  I took them everywhere and we spoke to everyone, just as my parents did with us. 

 

They are split down the middle, pretty much.  Same training, different personalities.  But they are still young and I see them emerging into more confidence every day. 

Edited October 6, 2016 by TranquilMind

[TranquilMind]

Texas patriotism... I didn't fully realize how bad it was until I moved to another state.  It's sad really.

 

The silliest thing I have ever been told was by my SIL.  This was before my firstborn was even 3.  She insisted we should send our children to public school so they could witness and be an example to the other children.  I couldn't understand her logic.  So, I throw my children to the wolves, so to speak, so that they can be a light to them?  No thank you.

 

I've heard that one too. 

 

[busymama7]

I think the ideas that homeschooling always produces better socialized kids or the socialization argument is all bunk are as dangerous as the ones that state that all homeschooled kids do better academically then schooled kids. We have all spoken of this problem on this board before. That some parents don't take homeschooling seriously enough and end up hindering their kids because "any day at home" ISNT in fact better than any day at school.

 

All I'm saying is that in my experience, this also applies to the socialization question. Parents need to take that part seriously as well. I have seen many many parents who don't. Who believe that just because their kids are home they will be fine and/or better off. And this simply isn't the case.

 

I will probably bow out at this point as it seems as if I'm alone in this opinion and observation. But I'm still sticking to it 😊

Edited October 6, 2016 by busymama7

[shawthorne44]

...

Social skills training far predates the school years and occurs in the home/with the parents/guardians, I believe....

 

 

I remember one girl from when I taught preK Sunday School.   She had truly amazing social skills.  I remember being glad that she had no desire to be mean, because it could have been ugly.   Her parents were the same.  She's the type of person, that could join the Junior League and then a month later be elected to replace the departing leader.  

[maize]

I've seen this too and it why in the end I believe homeschooling to produce better socialization overall and not worse. I really appreciate how confident my kids are in their beliefs and how they don't just follow the crowd. These aren't the things I'm speaking of. it's really hard to describe in this format.

I think there is some validity to what you are saying; a person immersed in a particular culture is going to fit into that culture more easily than a person who is not. A homeschool family who lives fairly isolated lives will produce children who are not really native citizens of the local culture. Family culture will also likely be a larger influence on these children than on those who spend significant portions of their time away from home.

 

Whether that is positive or negative probably depends on perspective. I've spent huge portions of my life in cultures other than my own, so much so that I am still partly a foreigner within my own culture. I'll never quite fit in.

 

On the whole, I think natural social ability still plays the biggest role in how children and adults interact with others. Many factors other than autism spectrum can circumscribe social skills--ADHD, anxiety, and plain old introversion are a few.

Edited October 6, 2016 by maize

[Guest]

I can't actually say I've ever met a homeschooled with social skill issues who wasn't dealing with some underlying developmental or emotional issue. Like, in our co op 80% of the kids seemed normal like public schoolers, except less concerned with what they were wearing. 15% were weird like any geek I'd expect - again like a school. And 5% were truly difficult and didn't fit in - most of these kids has autism spectrum issues or were from the foster system and had traumas of varying sorts. Even they did okay, but definitely didn't fit in in a conventional sense.

 

Maybe he group was self selecting as an extracurricular co op. Or I'm biased because I married a homeschooled who was just like me, despite being a computer gaming Christian political geek Engineer to my fiction writing Christian political geek Fiber Artist (who spent my entire life in public school except two years of private school overseas). We were both weird and had similar tastes and interests, but very different hobbies and academic backgrounds. And he wasn't any more or less socially off than me with all my group education exposure.

Edited October 6, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Mrs.Wilson]

One of the most common reasons I've been told to not homeschool is socialization.  It used to really bug me.  But, if I'm going to take an honest look at my children I have to agree.  It's not about manners, but knowing what's socially acceptable.

 

For example:  When my son started learning multiplication he would ask his friends math questions with a very know it all attitude.  Well, that's just not ok and my husband and I had to explain that to him.  The poor kid comes by his awkwardness naturally.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree that socialization (of the training our kids to have good social skills kind) should be intentional. I disagree with generalizations about it being a homeschool specific problem. For one thing, homeschoolers are not a monolithic group any more than public schoolers are. And as others pointed out, that kind of training starts well before school age. And continues even after kids are in social groups like homeschool co-ops.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[DesertBlossom]

One of the most common reasons I've been told to not homeschool is socialization. It used to really bug me. But, if I'm going to take an honest look at my children I have to agree. It's not about manners, but knowing what's socially acceptable.

 

For example: When my son started learning multiplication he would ask his friends math questions with a very know it all attitude. Well, that's just not ok and my husband and I had to explain that to him. The poor kid comes by his awkwardness naturally.

Because public schooled kids would never do that. Oh wait, that was me. I was that weird little kid in public school.

[Mrs.Wilson]

Because public schooled kids would never do that. Oh wait, that was me. I was that weird little kid in public school.

 

lol No, I didn't mean it like that.  But, I think we handled it better than his friends who just shunned him until he stopped doing it.

[elegantlion]

Teens who spend 30+ hours/week around their same-aged peers are much more susceptible to peer pressure to conform. My 14 y.o. always-HS child is WAY more self-confident than I was at her age and she doesn't obsess over wearing the "right" clothes, following the "right" pop culture things, etc. etc. like I did at the same age. I spent my jr. high and most of my sr. high years miserable because I was so desperate to fit in with classmates that I had very little in common with. To an outside observer, I might've seemed like I was better able to "relate well to other kids" but it just meant that I was more motivated to conform.

 

I'd rather she be happily "weird" than miserably pretending to be "normal".

 

 

I had similar issues in school. It was the 80s, everything was name brand and we couldn't afford Izod or Vanderbilt jeans. It immediately made me different. It took me a long while to realize that probably was a good thing in the end. 

 

 

My ds is very confident 19 year old who was homeschooled from first grade on. He really didn't have much socialization with peers at some times because the only groups were christian (and didn't like that a 10 year old was wearing a black Halo shirt) or we were broke living in a small town. His socialization came from online interactions (hm, kind of like this board...). He also got along better with adults and hung out with them more often. 

 

 

His favorite teacher his first semester of college was his math professor who is also a grandmother. I've heard other students mention how intimidating they thought her class was. Ds lacks that sense of "us v. them"  when it comes to age groups categories. As a grey-haired college junior, I see that a lot. When students realize there is more to me than just my age, they visibly treat me differently. The "geeky" kids or the homeschooled ones seem to lack that initial categorization. 

[DesertBlossom]

lol No, I didn't mean it like that. But, I think we handled it better than his friends who just shunned him until he stopped doing it.

For me, I almost see that as a plus for homeschooling though. Awkward little kids are going to be awkward little kids no matter what. My public school experience left me with more self-esteem issues than it did fix my awkwardness.

 

In fact, I've gotten the socialization argument from someone who I know had a really hard time in high school, who admits he had very few friends. And he's a wonderful person, just incredibly shy. I didn't say it, but was tempted to point out that his own public school experience wasn't exactly helpful for him either. Unless you count sitting alone for 4 years a good thing.... I just don't think public schools are a one-size fits all awesome socialization experience. I think those kids that tend towards being shy or awkward just find school even harder.

[mmasc]

No, she was thinking, "I can't rely on him to bring my stats up."

Ahhhh... I never even thought of that!

[Butter]

The silliest thing I have ever been told was by my SIL.  This was before my firstborn was even 3.  She insisted we should send our children to public school so they could witness and be an example to the other children.  I couldn't understand her logic.  So, I throw my children to the wolves, so to speak, so that they can be a light to them?  No thank you.

 

I've heard that as well.  Apparently it is unBiblical to homeschool since it's hiding the child's light under a bushel or some such reason.

[Plink]

My favorite: "Oh, your house must be so clean!"

 

I guess the speaker was imagining me bustling around in perfect-1950s-mom-mode, since I'm supposedly home all day attending to the needs of my family.  

 

Reality - My laundry room is an overflowing heap, and my floors are in desperate need of vacuuming (not just today, that is the general state of things around here)

[Guest]

I've heard that as well. Apparently it is unBiblical to homeschool since it's hiding the child's light under a bushel or some such reason.

I actually got that speech from a pastor about why his kids were in public school to help be a light to the others. Pfft, only one of them was even a professing Christian at that point, and I don't think the school is somehow more holy because your little darlings are in attendance.

 

I've actually seen that leveled both directions - as in it is sinning or poor stewardship for a family to send their kids to public school, AND the converse. Both are reductio as absurdum, IMO.

[eternalsummer]

Except that since those kids are public schooled which is the status quo benchmark, then many would say that they set the "current style" that the homeschooled kids are supposed to be meeting.  "Just rolled out of bed" is in.

 

I've been told that my kids look homeschooled because they are too well groomed - jeans, not sweat pants; unbranded t-shirts, not athletic shirts emblazoned with logos or slogans or "You Can't Spell Awesome Without ME!!"; clean, play-tousled hair cut in regular Leave It To Beaver little boy hair styles, not spiked or fauxhawked with half a tube of styling gel.

 

To me, my kids just look like regular, comfortable little kids, but several people have mentioned that they are too put together to fit in with public school elementary fashion.   :glare:

 

Wendy

 

Yes, this is part of what I mean.

 

I don't mean that homeschoolers are unclean or unkempt or something (although my homeschooler does have to be bribed to bathe more than once a week), but that they look different, and one can often pick them out of a crowd (easier than one can pick, say, "kids who have a blue couch" or "kids who play volleyball" or something out of a crowd).

 

Perhaps this is just true in the places I've lived.  But I haven't been wrong yet.

[Guest]

My favorite: "Oh, your house must be so clean!"

 

 

 

There are not enough of these  :lol:  :lol:  :rofl:  :rofl:  to demonstrate my reaction to this sentence. Yeah. Staying home with small people and dogs 24/7 lends itself to easily to clean. 

 

Since we started homeschooling my house pretty much looks like we're the stash-house for a gang of mobsters who routinely knock off Barnes and Noble and Lakeshore Learning inventory trucks. 

[mmasc]

There are not enough of these :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: to demonstrate my reaction to this sentence. Yeah. Staying home with small people and dogs 24/7 lends itself to easily to clean.

 

Since we started homeschooling my house pretty much looks like we're the stash-house for a gang of mobsters who routinely knock off Barnes and Noble and Lakeshore Learning inventory trucks.

Lol! Have any of you seen that episode of The Middle where they go out of town and when they return the police and neighbors are at their home and telling them they've been robbed? Of course, it's just their normal messy house, but everyone thinks it has been ransacked! Frankie and Mike are so embarrassed that they play along that yes, they've been robbed. It's hilarious!

My point is...this is my house, especially middle DS's room!

[LucyStoner]

You *did* note that I specifically said normal intelligence AND not on the spectrum right?!? I specifically separated these statements because I DO know that they are different. Maybe that wasn't clear but I attempted to make it so.

 

You may go ahead and continue to assume that all the socially awkward kids who's parents don't "let them out of the basement" literally are all on the spectrum but I do know better. I know these families well and over the course of many years in leadership role at a large coop that I began 10 years ago. Yes we've had kids on the spectrum. but we've also had some that were definitely hindered by almost no social interactions as they grew up. Parents thinking church once a week was enough etc. and I've seen it even more outside our coop when interacting with other homeschoolers.

I know that variety of homeschoolers do exist. I know a couple of families that seem to take the stance that social opportunities are somehow bad. So I am not doubting your experience here.

 

That said, the vast majority of the homeschoolers I know in my area are not of that mindset.

[Wabi Sabi]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

I agree that it is a valid concern, and for us, it is one of the big reasons why I'm NOT super keen on sending my kids, especially my 12 year old, to school right now. 

 

If he was in school he would get no foreign language at all at this point, but even though I don't speak the language, he's starting his third year of studying Japanese. He's used a combination of a weekly group lesson, some independent study, an immersion summer camp, and a tutor he meets a couple times a week on Skype.  He and a same aged homeschooled friend also meet with a local Japanese mom once a week in her home for semi-private lessons, and she gives both kids a fair amount of homework that she expects them to compete and return to her. It takes a lot of effort to find resources, coordinate and schedule lessons/classes,  and lots time driving kids around town for lessons, but we're making it work and he's already speaking, reading and writing much more of the language than I would've ever thought possible. 

 

I really think that if we keep it up he should be fairly fluent by the time he is in high school, at least well enough (hopefully) to be able to study abroad in his teens, and that definitely isn't something that would happen if he was in public school. 

Edited October 7, 2016 by Wabi Sabi

[Heathermomster]

I think the ideas that homeschooling always produces better socialized kids or the socialization argument is all bunk are as dangerous as the ones that state that all homeschooled kids do better academically then schooled kids. We have all spoken of this problem on this board before. That some parents don't take homeschooling seriously enough and end up hindering their kids because "any day at home" ISNT in fact better than any day at school.

 

All I'm saying is that in my experience, this also applies to the socialization question. Parents need to take that part seriously as well. I have seen many many parents who don't. Who believe that just because their kids are home they will be fine and/or better off. And this simply isn't the case.

 

I will probably bow out at this point as it seems as if I'm alone in this opinion and observation. But I'm still sticking to it 😊

I think this it is an excellent point.

[Guest]

I think the ideas that homeschooling always produces better socialized kids or the socialization argument is all bunk are as dangerous as the ones that state that all homeschooled kids do better academically then schooled kids. We have all spoken of this problem on this board before. That some parents don't take homeschooling seriously enough and end up hindering their kids because "any day at home" ISNT in fact better than any day at school.

 

All I'm saying is that in my experience, this also applies to the socialization question. Parents need to take that part seriously as well. I have seen many many parents who don't. Who believe that just because their kids are home they will be fine and/or better off. And this simply isn't the case.

 

I will probably bow out at this point as it seems as if I'm alone in this opinion and observation. But I'm still sticking to it 😊

You are not alone in this opinion or observation. I have said similarly before.

 

Although personally, it is not the majority of hsers I know who are like this (which is logical, since the hsers I know are largely from co-op or other social constructs so, obviously, the hermit hsers are not at those venues.) But I have known some over the years. The most common version I saw was the Mind-Changer. These folks would sign up for co-op or playgroup or whatever, thinking it would be good for the kids to make some friends, but then they quickly reached their limit in one way or another and disappeared.

[Janeway]

You do understand that having ASD or other issues that might affect social interactions is not about intelligence, right? In fact many kids with ASD are 2e - gifted as well as ASD. Or have ADD or SPD. And you can't just tell by looking at them or even interacting with them. You might think that they are "quirky " and awkward but other than that they seem normal. Some of us homeschool to get away from judgments like yours so that our kids can get these skills on their own time table. Many kids with ASD are late bloomers. They will find their way socially but in a few years. Unless I told them, friends and even family had no idea that ds had an ASD diagnosis.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

For me, I resent any judgement of who is socially awkward and who is not. What is that standard people are using? One relative of mine, spoiled stepsister, always waves around how popular her girls are. Yes, they wear tons of makeup and socialize all over the place. They were even both cheerleaders at some point. But, the oldest ended up in a credit recovery program to graduate high school with a "minimum/alternative" diploma and the other, who knows. She just got kicked out of her 5th high school in two years. She has been to ..something that is like juvenile detention...she has been in court ordered drug rehab. The authorities have to deal with her a lot, and she is only 16. But hey, she is popular, right? And that is what counts, right?

[Crimson Wife]

Hmm, this thread seems to be containing an awful lot of judgment related to physical appearance of students (both traditionally schooled and homeschooled). Wearing makeup, "fashionable" clothing, and "current" hairstyles or not should be a personal preference thing. It's not something that should be seen as reflective of that individual's character (good or bad). Really, it's nobody's business aside from that individual student and his/her parents. There are WAAAAAY more important things to be worrying about in this world. :)

[maize]

Hmm, this thread seems to be containing an awful lot of judgment related to physical appearance of students (both traditionally schooled and homeschooled). Wearing makeup, "fashionable" clothing, and "current" hairstyles or not should be a personal preference thing. It's not something that should be seen as reflective of that individual's character (good or bad). Really, it's nobody's business aside from that individual student and his/her parents. There are WAAAAAY more important things to be worrying about in this world. :)

Evidence of how well we adults have been socialized to conform at all costs and demand conformity from those around us.

 

That's the whole purpose of k-12 schooling, right?

[Amber in SJ]

I have to add my favorites:

 

"Your kids can't possibly be homeschooled....They seem so normal."

 

"I wish I could stay home and play with my kids all day, but some kids have to go to school."

 

This one was said to my dd during high school, "Why don't you have straight As?  Doesn't your mom just give you As? Do you have to do actual work & stuff?"

 

And my very favorite, "Aren't you afraid they are going to become mentally ill from spending so much time with you."

 

 

Amber in SJ

[Incognito]

Hmm, this thread seems to be containing an awful lot of judgment related to physical appearance of students (both traditionally schooled and homeschooled). Wearing makeup, "fashionable" clothing, and "current" hairstyles or not should be a personal preference thing. It's not something that should be seen as reflective of that individual's character (good or bad). Really, it's nobody's business aside from that individual student and his/her parents. There are WAAAAAY more important things to be worrying about in this world. :)

 

FWIW, I think *this* perspective/attitude is what *is* different about a lot of homeschooling families (and it is often reflected in the kids).  Like it or not, the world *does* judge based on what people wear and how we do our makeup (or not).  

 

Personally, I tend to forget that fact.  I forget that whatever my opinion is, I am stuck in "the game" where what you wear and how you style your hair does classify you to those around you.  It isn't just about being relatively clean and presentable, it's about being fashionable.  

 

I heard an interesting piece on NPR a few months ago about it (sorry, don't recall the show).  It really drove home to me how naive I am in this area and how important appearances are to a lot of people in the world.

 

ETA: Oh, and for things people have said to me - one I really didn't know what do to with was that her son was off at a Bible college, but wasn't finding anyone decent to date because the girls were all homeschooled girls.  So they were nice and everything, but all too weird to date.  And this person knows we homeschool. 

Edited October 7, 2016 by Incognito

[Crimson Wife]

FWIW, I think *this* perspective/attitude is what *is* different about a lot of homeschooling families (and it is often reflected in the kids).  Like it or not, the world *does* judge based on what people wear and how we do our makeup (or not). 

But this isn't really true once you get out of high school. When I was in college, I used to get constantly asked if I was going out on a date later with my then-boyfriend because I'd been socialized in high school to never leave the house without looking "put together". Whereas at college people would just roll out of bed and head to class in sweats & a ponytail. It took me years and years to gain the self-confidence to not give a flip. Pretty much until I had my 2nd kid and became a SAHM.

[scoutingmom]

(Knowing social studies was not my strong subject...) "But how will you teach social studies" - my answer "Guess I can't do much worse than public school did for me then..."

 

From a new scouting leader for my kids... Trying to remember the wording here... something like "[other leader] mentioned your kids are homeschooled. I didn't realize... they seem so normal." Me:"um... thank you?" - not sure what he expected...

 

Our suzuki violin teacher started giving me (and her other hs'd students) a lot more trouble when they got to age 5 or 6 over little things that she figured ps would fix... and yes, the hs students were not quite as fast at being sheep. Behaviour that was fine for a 3 or 4 year old student in not being in line etc was a big problem for her with a 5yo.... and honestly at times I saw no difference between thebhs and ps at group class.

 

Each year it got worse until we quit. The other hs family I knew really well lasted a bit longer. Yet she tended to get the hs students a lot as she could teach them during the day.

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[Guest]

But this isn't really true once you get out of high school. When I was in college, I used to get constantly asked if I was going out on a date later with my then-boyfriend because I'd been socialized in high school to never leave the house without looking "put together". Whereas at college people would just roll out of bed and head to class in sweats & a ponytail. It took me years and years to gain the self-confidence to not give a flip. Pretty much until I had my 2nd kid and became a SAHM.

I disagree. People have expectations about how an adult should present themselves; ever heard of People of Walmart? Sure, if you are a SAHM or HSmom, your peers probably won't care if you go about in fleece pajama bottoms and a free tee shirt from a 5K you ran eight years ago. But if you are meeting a group of friends for dinner? If you are meeting your accountant or someone regarding business?

 

When I go to co-op, I am clean and presentable. I am wearing real clothing for daytime wear, even some jewelry. I do insist that my kids have brushed teeth, combed hair and are wearing real clothes (i.e., not bed clothes or some weird getup like a bathing suit and a pink tutu). These standards are not some bad habit that I hope to eventually free myself from.

 

Also, I have learned from DD and some other college-age kids that how the kids present themselves varies a LOT by college, and also by what study program one is in. In some colleges and/or majors, the "rolled outta bed" look is quite frowned upon.

[Mrs.Wilson]

For me, I almost see that as a plus for homeschooling though. Awkward little kids are going to be awkward little kids no matter what. My public school experience left me with more self-esteem issues than it did fix my awkwardness.

 

In fact, I've gotten the socialization argument from someone who I know had a really hard time in high school, who admits he had very few friends. And he's a wonderful person, just incredibly shy. I didn't say it, but was tempted to point out that his own public school experience wasn't exactly helpful for him either. Unless you count sitting alone for 4 years a good thing.... I just don't think public schools are a one-size fits all awesome socialization experience. I think those kids that tend towards being shy or awkward just find school even harder.

 

I was a socially awkward child.  I'm shy, we were very poor... If my home life had been better than I would've thrived (self-esteem wise) if I were homeschooled.  I see myself in some of my children and I know they are doing better than if we put them in public school.  My girls have this confidence that I never had, because they aren't surrounded by people that try to make them conform.  Anywhere we go they pick up friends like they are magnets.  As someone who still has trouble making friends it always amazes me to see that.  

[Mrs.Wilson]

There are not enough of these  :lol:  :lol:  :rofl:  :rofl:  to demonstrate my reaction to this sentence. Yeah. Staying home with small people and dogs 24/7 lends itself to easily to clean. 

 

Since we started homeschooling my house pretty much looks like we're the stash-house for a gang of mobsters who routinely knock off Barnes and Noble and Lakeshore Learning inventory trucks. 

 

 

Yes!  For some reason our public library system doesn't carry a lot of the classics that I've been looking for.  I finally gave up and just buy all the books we need.  We have five children so they'll be used for many years to come.  But, our house looks like we own a book store!  I'm running out of walls to put book cases!

[Valley Girl]

 

i.e., not bed clothes or some weird getup like a bathing suit and a pink tutu).

 

 

Really, Quill, it's just not nice to say unkind things about my choice of attire today. For the record, I do prefer a purple tutu rather than pink.

 

(Sorry, I couldn't resist teasing you. It's Friday, and I'm punchy. And, no, I'm not really wearing that.)

[MyLittleBears]

"You homeschool? Oh, so you have a teaching degree?" :glare:  

[shawthorne44]

I've heard that as well.  Apparently it is unBiblical to homeschool since it's hiding the child's light under a bushel or some such reason.

 

I'd rather protect the light in a hurricane lamp while it is young and fragile, then have it exterminated.   

[Guest]

"You homeschool? Oh, so you have a teaching degree?" :glare:

I've always somewhat envied my hs friends who DO have a teaching degree, because they get to say Yes to that question. Especially true if they have post grad degree(s).

[Guest]

Really, Quill, it's just not nice to say unkind things about my choice of attire today. For the record, I do prefer a purple tutu rather than pink.

 

(Sorry, I couldn't resist teasing you. It's Friday, and I'm punchy. And, no, I'm not really wearing that.)

Well, in MD, a purple tutu might pass muster because we have the Ravens and Purple Fridays. I'm wearing my purple today, though it's not a tutu. :D

[blue daisy]

I am a former PS teacher, so I get a lot of "Oh, you can do it because you used to be a teacher. You know what you're doing."  People are amazed when I tell them that in our state, simply being a parent qualifies one to homeschool.

 

A lot of people also ask if the state provides me with textbooks. And yes, I get the socialization question a lot.  But really, these are just people who have no experience with homeschooling so they have a hard time imagining how learning can take place outside of a traditional school.  In general, comments have been really positive.

[skimomma]

I get "what about math" and "what about science" a lot....from people who know I teach engineering classes at the local university, sometimes even colleagues.  I think it will be ok.  Really.  

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've found that comments have their seasons. I got a lot when I first started. Then after a couple of years when it was a bit more obvious that I was confident and my kids were fine, they dropped off. During middle school people were very supportive since our middle school has a gang reputation. But then high school hit and the comments get more strident.

 

I found a funny way to turn off the anti home school comments for high school by accident. With ds, the interrogation would continue until I mentioned that I taught him Latin. "Oooh, Latin? Wow, you go, girl!"

 

Now dd has started homeschool high school and the interrogators have started up again. She isn't interested in Latin and apparently teaching her Japanese doesn't have the same cache. But I was at the doctor's office and happened to mention that I had graduated one and he's at college and the change in tone was remarkable! They actually cheered me and gave me high fives!!

 

 

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[BarbecueMom]

I am a former PS teacher, so I get a lot of "Oh, you can do it because you used to be a teacher. You know what you're doing." People are amazed when I tell them that in our state, simply being a parent qualifies one to homeschool.

 

A lot of people also ask if the state provides me with textbooks. And yes, I get the socialization question a lot. But really, these are just people who have no experience with homeschooling so they have a hard time imagining how learning can take place outside of a traditional school. In general, comments have been really positive.

I get the textbook/curriculum comment a lot, too. Which is funny, because I do use the same curriculum for math as our zoned elementary school. The school has parent meetings at the beginning of the year to teach *them* the math curriculum so they can help or after school with the same methods and verbiage. Darn, I missed the meeting. How will I ever learn to teach addition within 20?

 

Going back to the flaky homeschoolers on field trips thing, we made a decision *not* to do field trips as part of a large group (just informal friend things), rather than risk flaking due to the many things that could go wrong. Between myself and the three kids, there's a big chance for most of the year that someone is sick or knocked down with allergies. If one doesn't go, we all don't go, and that puts a huge dent in the head count for whatever we signed up for. Van doesn't start? We can't go. Emergency vet visit? We're out. And sometimes we have a rare, awful morning behavior-wise for one or more kids, and the thought of hauling them all out with one still screaming about something is more than I'm willing to handle (plus that screaming, unhappy kid usually ends up sick in a few hours).

 

Public/private schools just head out with the kids and chaperones they have, and one family's illness or car problem won't affect the numbers much at all. Copying that model with homeschool families is more complicated and less efficient.

 

I'm fine with paying a few extra bucks over a group rate. They are happier exploring with a small group of friends and friends of friends, rather than not being able to see or hear a docent over the crowd. It's easier to have conversations about what we're doing or seeing when we can move at our own pace. Yet, I know quite a few homeschoolers that sign up for massive group field trip excursions weekly. To each their own!

 

The trips we've missed out on that are only open to groups are things like "behind the scenes at Krispy Kreme". I think our education will be fine without that. Our kids have never had Krispy Kreme, but if they want to see how donuts are made, they are regular customers at the little shop down the road!

[Crimson Wife]

I disagree. People have expectations about how an adult should present themselves; ever heard of People of Walmart? Sure, if you are a SAHM or HSmom, your peers probably won't care if you go about in fleece pajama bottoms and a free tee shirt from a 5K you ran eight years ago. But if you are meeting a group of friends for dinner? If you are meeting your accountant or someone regarding business?

 

Maybe this is regional? I went to college and now live in CA and 90+% of what I see people wearing is extremely casual. Dinner wouldn't require dressing up unless it was a high-end restaurant.

[TX Native]

This thread has got that song "Texas, our Texas" playing in my head! 7th grade and the textbook was bigger than any history book I ever had! I can sing all the words to that song, with gusto, to this day! Thank you 7th grade history teacher..... even though I only lived in TX a short time after that. I sang it to my children once when we crossed the state line to visit family.

 

My sweet MIL from small town USA was hesitantly supportive of our homeschooling decision,but mainly because dh explained the many social activities and groups for homeschoolers in our city. Last year she caught on the decision wasn't just for a year or two and innocently asked us, "How long are you ALLOWED to continue to do this?" She was honestly shocked when we explained we can legally homeschool through high school. And I added my oldest wants to homeschool through college, but I told him it will have to be online school then because I QUIT after 12th grade. I didn't say anything negative in response, because she was not saying it in judgement.

 

What gets me is that a few highly educated people in my various social circles say in awe , "Oh, how brave to take your child's education into your own hands! That is a wonderful undertaking! I could never do that. It must be such hard work on your part." Then when something comes up during the week such as a meal or transport need for someone we know, I am the 1st person those same people call because I don't have a job and they are too busy with the their jobs to help out.

 

And I loved when a few people from my old job found out I now homeschool and asked "so you just stay home with your kids all day?" or "you don't work at all anymore?" What do they think the teachers are doing that are with their kids all day?

 

I admit, in both circumstances, the negative comments are the minority response. Several people have positive responses. I give grace to the select few who just don't get it.

 

A few days ago, I was at checking out at a clothing store. The cashier man looked at my kids and mentioned in a puzzling tone something to them about being out of school early. Before they could respond, he quickly remembered it was the public school's fall break and said, "oh yeah, schools are out this week." He looked straight at me and said pretending to talk to them, "Oh, I bet your mom reeaaalllllly likes it when you are home from school..." (Clearly in a tone and with a look expecting me to give some cue to him that deep down I really enjoy the days they are in school so I don't have to deal with them.) My kids and I held back sarcasm and said nothing but, "have a nice day" when we left. See, I do teach manners well, don't I?

Edited October 7, 2016 by TX native

[HomeAgain]

The funniest comment I got was when my youngest was 4.  A lady at the grocery store cooed over how cute and smart he was, but as soon as he said he didn't go to preschool the tone changed.  I was ruining his life, he needed to have social opportunities, preschool was important to have an educational head start!  Funny, it didn't seem that important 5 minutes ago. :rolleyes:

 

 

[DesertBlossom]

"You homeschool? Oh, so you have a teaching degree?" :glare:

I get this. And coincidentally I do have a teaching degree. But I feel like I have learned a lot more about how children learn since I started homeschooling than in my teacher's ed program.

[bodiesmom]

I get this. And coincidentally I do have a teaching degree. But I feel like I have learned a lot more about how children learn since I started homeschooling than in my teacher's ed program.

 

Couldn't like this enough- so TRUE!

 

But wait....

A former colleague insists that I'm not able to adequately "remediate" my dyslexic child because I'm not a "certified" Barton tutor. I am a former teacher who has a master's degree, and yet my efforts with Barton aren't effective because I haven't been officially "certified". Smh.

Sorry.....turned into a mini rant. 😎

[Noreen Claire]

"You homeschool? Oh, so you have a teaching degree?" :glare:  

 

I DO have a teaching degree (I have indefinitely put off finishing my dissertation for my doctoral degree in order to have more children/raise my family) and I STILL get crap for deciding to keep my 2nd grader and preschooler home this year! Grrrrrrr....

[TravelingChris]

 Plink said  "My favorite: "Oh, your house must be so clean!" "

 

 

That is so funny. OUr house became so much cleaner since my last dd went off to college and my ds moved back out again.  It hasn't been so clean in so many years.  And I am not spending time doing much cleaning.