s/o prepping for an empty nest... Bedrooms?

[Janie Grace]

Those who have had some or all of their birdies fly the nest... how long do you keep their bedrooms as their bedrooms? I would think that for the first while (year or two?), it might be ideal to keep their room as theirs so as to ease the transition -- i.e., they can come home from college to their familiar place. But maybe that's not a big deal, or maybe that's an unreasonable expectation on the part of the flown bird. Of course the preference varies by the kid, but I'm curious what you all did/do. How long does a kid's room stay his/her room? When can it become a guest room or study without the kid feeling unwelcome?

[KungFuPanda]

I think once they're out of college and moved into their own place you're free to decorate. Odds are, they'll take things like beds and dressers that they didn't need in college and you'll have an excuse to redo things. I wouldn't do it before graduation unless you have other kids and need to room-shuffle.

[gardenmom5]

Those who have had some or all of their birdies fly the nest... how long do you keep their bedrooms as their bedrooms? I would think that for the first while (year or two?), it might be ideal to keep their room as theirs so as to ease the transition -- i.e., they can come home from college to their familiar place. But maybe that's not a big deal, or maybe that's an unreasonable expectation on the part of the flown bird. Of course the preference varies by the kid, but I'm curious what you all did/do. How long does a kid's room stay his/her room? When can it become a guest room or study without the kid feeling unwelcome?

 

depends.  college and they come home at holidays and summer . . .I kept it.  mostly.  home sometimes for visit - they're treated like visitors and rooms get rearranged.

 

I have two completely launched, and one who is mostly launched (works and full-time school.), lives with a sibling.  one part-time student  (it would help if needed classes offered more than one section  instead of the same time as other needed classes that only offered one section. . . .

 

one bedroom was turned into dh's office almost as soon as she moved out. (she bought a house) I did have one who was hardly home and we needed the bedroom so it wasn't kept as hers - though was made available if she was here and wanted it.  

 

If someone needed a room, they know they'd be welcome - even if we had to find a bed for them.

Edited September 13, 2016 by gardenmom5

[maize]

In my family of origin there was no expectation that a child would keep a designated bedroom at home after leaving for college.

 

That never bothered me.

 

I came from a large family, though, so it was obvious that leaving an entire bedroom unused for most of the year was not reasonable.

[Carrie12345]

I'm from a large-ish (blended) family and I have a largish family, so the idea of empty bedrooms hasn't really crossed my mind, lol.

 

My parents' youngest child is 32.  They have a 3 bedroom house and have never really had an empty bedroom for more than maybe a year.  When I was in my early 20s, I actually crashed on the living room couch for a while, because "my" bedroom had been reassigned.  I was slightly annoyed, but I didn't feel unwelcome.

[QueenCat]

During college, it's still their room to come home to, at least in our family. Once they've truly moved out, we turn them into guest rooms. So they still have somewhere to stay when they come visit but it won't be decorated like it was when they actually lived here.

[The Girls' Mom]

Our plan is to keep them as their rooms while they are in college, unless they end up in a more permanent living situation before they graduate.  I will pack up a lot of the little things that I don't want to have to dust/clean, but will keep their rooms for them to come home to during breaks.  

 

My oldest (who will be a college junior that went to CC, so never moved to a dorm) is making noise about moving out next summer to live with my niece in this area.  If she does that, I will probably go ahead and change her room into a guest room.  There won't really be a need to keep a room for her here.

I'm actually kind of coveting one of their rooms for an office space, and another for an art studio...lol.  

[Night Elf]

Well technically I don't consider going away to college as moving out. They come home for the occasional weekend, holidays and summer unless they stay for the summer semester. I'm keep my dd's room the way it is until she moves out officially. When my oldest dd moved out and into an apartment, I took that to mean she wasn't coming back. She helped youngest dd move into her bedroom since it was bigger and younger dd wanted more space. Then we took younger dd's bedroom and turned it into a library.

[regentrude]

I think it would entirely depend on the family's living situation. At my friend's house, siblings share rooms, and when somebody leaves for college, the oldest sibling inherits the room.

I only have two children who each have their own room. So, DD's room is still her bedroom; she still has most of her things here, since you can only take few to college. I can use the room as a guest bedroom if needed, or as a study, without changing it, and I plan to do so until she graduates and has a job and apartment.

She did not come home this summer, but will be home in the winter break.

But this is a luxury a large family in a small house does not have, and it would not be reasonable to let a room sit empty.

[happypamama]

My parents kept my room as my room until I got married, a couple of months after my college graduation. I lived in the dorm in college and didn't have room for all of my stuff there. Even after we got married, DH and I both had some stuff at our parents' houses that we didn't have room for in our first little apartment.

 

I don't know what I'll do with DD's room if she decides to go to college. The boys are set for rooms, but if this baby is a girl, she will need to go somewhere, so maybe we wil put her in DD's room if DD leaves. DD's room is really pretty, with a cloud painted ceiling that she and DH did together, so I would like to keep that as long as possible.

 

I don't like the idea of all of them not being here! Ack! I'll have six kids, but the time that it will actually have been five or six together will actually be pretty short.

[Murphy101]

I made them clean out their rooms and either box their stuff for college or box it for the attic storage before they left.

 

They are still more than welcome here and they visit frequently, but their rooms/beds were reassigned within about 2 days before they even moved out.

[EKS]

Not an empty nester yet, but this is my older son's third year away from home.  We kept his room his for the past two years, but this summer I had him switch rooms with his younger brother.  The older one's original room is bigger and more desirable, and it wasn't fair to have it just sitting there for 9 months out of the year.  He seemed ok with it.  The younger one is thrilled!

 

My only other experience with this is when I went away to college.  That same year was a sabbatical year for my father (he was a university professor and every seven years would move to another location to work) so I had to completely move out of my room, as my parents were renting the house.  I never moved back in.  I honestly think that process was a good one, and that it contributed to me becoming independent much sooner than I would have otherwise.  I also think it contributed to my relationship with my parents shifting towards one of equals rather than continuing the annoying parent-teen dynamic.  

 

 

[Wheres Toto]

When my oldest went away to college she started sharing a room with her younger sister.  Until then she had her own room.  We only have a three bedroom so don't have the space to leave a room basically unused for 95% of the time.  It was part of the deal for her living on campus - if she commuted she would have kept her room.

 

She graduated this past May and now lives with my mother, who has more space and my stepfather just passed away so we thought it would be good for her to not be alone.  She has slept her a couple times when she was upset over something and needed her mom.  My mother is only 10 minutes away from us so we see her more than we did when she was at school.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

We finished our garage; there is now a large bedroom with a large closet. (Eventually we will add a bathroom.)

 

Our eldest son lives out there now, while commuting to college.

 

We have four sons in a 3BR, one story brick ranch. My plan is to use the garage bedroom as a dorm for college students, apprentices, and interns who need to live at home. People living in that stage of life keep weird hours. The garage has its own door, so the rest of us don't have our sleep disturbed. They are considerate enough to be quiet in the bathroom and kitchen after/before hours, so it works out.

 

In three years when the third son graduates from high school, the fourth son will move to his bedroom, and I will move our library to fourth son's bedroom. That will be the magical moment I've been waiting for, for 20 years -- I'll no longer be living in a school! No more schoolroom in the dining room, no more wall of books in the front room. I will keep one shelf of the beautiful hardback books in the living room, but it will no longer scream "homeschool!" as a theme.

 

Then, in another four years when fourth son graduates, he'll move to the garage apartment (or go away to college) and his room will be turned into a guest room for the older boys and their families.

 

The final stage will be to use the garage apartment as a family room, when they've all definitely moved out for good and we need more space for the grandchildren when they come over!

[BlsdMama]

Those who have had some or all of their birdies fly the nest... how long do you keep their bedrooms as their bedrooms? I would think that for the first while (year or two?), it might be ideal to keep their room as theirs so as to ease the transition -- i.e., they can come home from college to their familiar place. But maybe that's not a big deal, or maybe that's an unreasonable expectation on the part of the flown bird. Of course the preference varies by the kid, but I'm curious what you all did/do. How long does a kid's room stay his/her room? When can it become a guest room or study without the kid feeling unwelcome?

 

 

We already have it planned, lol.

 

 

Upstairs: Computer room and ??

Downstairs: Weight room, sewing room, and the connected rooms - an adult room and kid room connected for visitors. :D

 

ETA: As to the when - DD is getting married this fall.  Her room will immediately be converted to storage and weight room.

DS will graduate this year - he's living at home.

 

Honestly?  My goal is to keep rotating them through.... Upstairs bedroom moves downstairs.  When it's empty it converts to a computer room.  When the downstairs bedroom is empty a younger kid cycles down.  I think  you have an obligation to turn one bedroom into a guest room while kids are still in college so they have sleeping arrangements.  And I like the idea of always having 1-2 bedrooms.  Honestly?  My brother's house burned down and he stayed temporarily with my parents.  My sister had remodeling done and their family stayed temporarily with parents.  My brother in law built a new house and their family stayed with my in-laws.  We moved cross country and stayed with both of our parents while looking for the right house and closing on it. 

 

So we actually plan on putting in a small laundry in our basement bathroom because we expect guests even after they are gone.  But, ideally, I'd say by year 2 of living away, "John's" room is now titled the guest room... Maybe as a way of "easing" into the fact we're not  leaving it his room forever? ;)

Edited September 13, 2016 by BlsdMama

[Ravin]

My parents moved into a smaller house while I was in boot camp. I had to pack my room before I left. There is something to be said for this philosophy if your priority is to keep your empty nest empty.

 

I for one am planning on the assumption that my children will continue living at home until they actually move out, whether that's at 18 or at 35 or never. Mind you, they'll have to pay their share as working adults, but I won't make them leave.

 

When they do leave, the space they occupied will be repurposed, or we'll downsize.

[FaithManor]

We did not keep R's for long because she permanently moved out. Due to her work and school schedule she lived with my aunt and paid some rent since she was close to campus and work. We had the guest room, and when she wanted to be here on weekends she used that. No issues. The boys' rooms were much smaller so she was very okay with the next oldest moving into her rather spacious room since she was never going to be home full time again.

 

Eventually we got some remodeling done, and the younger two no longer shared a room, and got one of their own. So now we have two at college, one married and gone, and only one at home. Five bedrooms.

 

It goes like this. All three boys still have their bedrooms, and we will maintain them through college since we have the guest room. As it is unlikely that we will ever have all adult children living here ever again, one of the bedrooms will become an office and one a quilt room. That still leaves us with two guestrooms, and at family holidays, they could still bunk down in the office and quilt room.

 

Eventually we will downsize. We want to retire part-time in Aswan where we really won't be retiring but doing volunteer work. Part time somewhere near a really good international airport/hub so we can get good rates for flying around to see the kids and the grands.

 

My brother on the other hand....five bedrooms and only one child at home. He took over each bedroom as soon as each high schooler graduated. As in, "you may have three months until you leave for college, but you'll be sleeping on the couch because your room is mine now." As a result, every one of his kids, one by one, moved in with my parents until college started. Then they would get campus jobs in the summer where room and board was part of the pay and just stay over. Now as adults out of college and settled, when they come home to visit, they stay with my mother in law. My brother NEVER offers to open his home for an overnight stay. Grrrrr......

[MysteryJen]

We prepared by moving. :) We have a small house with small bedrooms now, so it is pretty cozy when everyone is home. Realistically, that is only for about 30 days a year now, with dd1's schedule. So the three kids at home have their own bedroom, ds1 sleeps on a trundle in ds2's room when he is here, dd1 sleeps on a mattress that is stored under dd2's bed when she is home.

We are expecting that at least a couple of the kids will stay for a while after college, so we will keep a couple bedrooms as guest rooms. I will probably take over one for my own space when dd2 goes to college.

[wendy not in HI]

We were remodeling our home when oldest dd went to college. We moved across the country while she was serving a mission for our church, so she came home to no real bedroom.  We made sort of an apartment for her in the basement.  She married this summer and really hasn't had her own room at home for a few years.

 

Dd18 graduated from high school this summer.  The movers arrived the day after graduation.  We spent most of the summer traveling, visiting my parents, and getting ready for our oldest dd's wedding.  We moved into our new house about 3 weeks before dd18 went to college.  And we had company in our home for all but 3 days of those 3 weeks.  Dd shared a room with her sister for a couple weeks, and both girls slept on the couch for the last week because we had two sets of company.  It felt really weird and sad that she didn't have a place of her own.  

 

We will likely move again next summer, and I do feel bad that the older kids don't really have a hometown, but I hope to make sure they have a home to come home to.

[Guest]

Those who have had some or all of their birdies fly the nest... how long do you keep their bedrooms as their bedrooms? I would think that for the first while (year or two?), it might be ideal to keep their room as theirs so as to ease the transition -- i.e., they can come home from college to their familiar place. But maybe that's not a big deal, or maybe that's an unreasonable expectation on the part of the flown bird. Of course the preference varies by the kid, but I'm curious what you all did/do. How long does a kid's room stay his/her room? When can it become a guest room or study without the kid feeling unwelcome?

Right away! My family converted the bedrooms to offices and guest bedrooms within six months and it was just fine. We had packed up anything valuable when we moved away to college and wherever else anyway, so anything leftover was fair game. It was kind of nice to come visit and have a fresh slate space - it made a nice dividing line from childhood and adulthood :)

[KatieJ]

When someone moved out, college, marriage, whatever, their room was given to the next oldest child if needed due to several sharing a room, or it was a guest room.  Most of our's moved out to get married, so we knew they weren't coming back.   :thumbup1:  Our first one wsa the only one who struggled with not having a room to come home to.  She always had  a place to sleep, but her sister was in her old room. Sister's room had the double bed, so it became a guest room.

  We moved several states away 6 months later and it was hard for her for a while as she had no home anymore.  In a few years she got married, and uses our guest rooms often for her family. 

Empty nesters here.  One empty bedroom is just a guest room, with a private bath.  The other two bedrooms are an office for me, and a 2nd guest room that also had pack n play for grandbabies.  GRands keep coming, so we keep using that space.  Eventually, I don't know, I could move my sewing room up stairs and into that room, but the stairs are good for me, so I just leave the sewing room downstairs.
 

[AK_Mom4]

About 15 minutes.

 

Before they left for college the first time, I made them box everything up that wasn't going with them. Next day, I cleaned down to the floorboards. My Sons share a room so when oldest left for college, we replaced the bunk beds with a full size bed for the younger. Same thing for DDs except that youngest DD opted to keep her bunk beds when oldest left for college. All of the college kids stuff went into totes and then in storage in the attic.

 

When kid #3 left for college, I turned his room into a sewing room that same week. Then I had to undo that when he transferred back to the local school for sophomore year and moved home to save $$$.

 

But I did have a whole year of having a sewing room. It was really nice.

Edited September 13, 2016 by AK_Mom4

[Guest]

15 minutes here too.

 

I had been sleeping in a sleeping bag on the couch for years. dd said it was permanent, so I believed her.

 

She got the couch when she came back.

 

When ds left, she moved into his old bedroom within a week.

 

When he came back he got the couch.

Edited September 13, 2016 by Guest

[Cindy in FL.]

My parents moved into a smaller house while I was in boot camp. I had to pack my room before I left. There is something to be said for this philosophy if your priority is to keep your empty nest empty.

 

I for one am planning on the assumption that my children will continue living at home until they actually move out, whether that's at 18 or at 35 or never. Mind you, they'll have to pay their share as working adults, but I won't make them leave.

 

When they do leave, the space they occupied will be repurposed, or we'll downsize.

This is how I feel as well. They will always have a home with us as long as they are contributing members of the household.

[Ellie]

Those who have had some or all of their birdies fly the nest... how long do you keep their bedrooms as their bedrooms? I would think that for the first while (year or two?), it might be ideal to keep their room as theirs so as to ease the transition -- i.e., they can come home from college to their familiar place. But maybe that's not a big deal, or maybe that's an unreasonable expectation on the part of the flown bird. Of course the preference varies by the kid, but I'm curious what you all did/do. How long does a kid's room stay his/her room? When can it become a guest room or study without the kid feeling unwelcome?

 

Once my daughters moved out, their rooms were mine. :-) One became an office, one a guest room.

[Jacbeaumont]

I've been married 7 years, moved out of the home for nearly 12. My room still looks the same at my mom's house. Lol.

 

I have a feeling that's about to change as her significant other just moved in and she's retiring next month.

 

 

 

 

Sent from my U9200 using Tapatalk

[Guest]

My son is still in his room, but when he moves out, I am moving the guest room to his room, and I'm taking the guest room for my sewing room.  The guest room would be right across from the bathroom then, which would be nicer for guests or for my son when he comes to visit.  

 

My dh claimed the biggest bedroom in the house for his office when we moved here but he has never gotten it in order, and so it is just a dumping area right now.  I wish I had claimed that room, as I also have the "office" in my office/craft/photography/work room which is 1/3 the space I had for the same thing in my old house.  THIS room will become both of our downstairs office so I can get all his computer stuff off the dining room table, the kitchen counter.  DH likes to be in the middle of what is going on, but I want my counter space back.  Since my little room is more central it everything (downstairs den), if we share that, he will be happier.  And so will I.

 

We have downsized from a total of 4000sf + 1600 sf to 2500sf and it's a pinch at the moment.  It's a sheer miracle we aren't storing things on the roof.  But this house will be a great house for the two of us, and so I'm looking forward to that time.  We have room for guests....but not long-term live-in (fine by me) and a wonderful house for hospitality (great floor plan, yard, etc) and so this is all good.  

 

My son is welcome as long as he is working/doing his software startup.  But when he gets a regular salary, he will be looking for a place to live.  He wants to as much as we want him to...and doesn't want to as much as we don't want him to.  

[Rebel Yell]

We have a 3BR house. Kids bedrooms are 10'x10' and 10'x12'.

 

When Diamond moves out of the 10x10, she won't even be fully out of the driveway before the younger sisters take over. They have been waiting literally a lifetime to each have their own rooms. So I'm guessing they'll already start redecorating as they are helping her pack this coming August.

 

Whichever sister ends up with the larger room will "host" or share the room with Diamond if she comes home on breaks. Her plans for school next year involve a move to the other side of the country, so she will only be home for Christmas break.

 

We plan to move to a small townhouse after BabyBaby graduates ('19) so second bedroom will be a "guest" bedroom that may or may not contain actual children not yet fully flung from the nest.