If you were a man turning 81, what would you like for your birthday?

[Catherine]

That's my whole question, right there!  I am out of ideas.  

 

My dad is retired, has mild dementia (so books won't work-magazines, yes, though he already gets many). 

[Rosie_0801]

Cake and company.

[EKS]

Something special to eat or drink perhaps?

[Ottakee]

Some small heat and eat home.cooked meals if you are close by

[hornblower]

Are wine, women & song out? 


Expensive chocolate, whiskey, gym membership, walking poles, dancing lessons .. (exercise  can ward off dementia....)

 

 

A cruise :D 

On a smaller scale, the last birthday gift I gave fil before his alzheimer's progressed quickly (he died soon after of a heart attack in his sleep) was a gift basket of fancy chocolates, jams, & coffee all in the little packages & jars. He liked making fancy breakfasts & he apparently really liked having these things to add... 



 

[kewb]

Consumables. My grandma is 104 and we have been sending her flowers, sweets that she likes, and the gift of time for 20 years now. I imagine it is the same for a man. Something they can eat or drink.

Edited August 18, 2016 by kewb

[Lisa R.]

One of my relatives made a small photo album for my grandpa when he was in the nursing home and starting to forget names. She had picture of the families and put the names of each person around the picture to help him remember. So, he could enjoy seeing his children and the grandchildren and also review names. Very sweet.

[Guest]

My dad loves homemade jam. You can get very tiny jars (1/4 pint).

 

My mom genuinely prefers greeting cards and flowers.

[3 ladybugs]

I say a nice dinner out. Some place they would never go themselves. My grandmother is 88 and she never goes anywhere really fancy. If she does eat out it is to places where value is more important then anything. 

 

Another option that my mother and her siblings have done is go in on a trip that one or more of them would go with her on. 

 

Cheaper option would be something like a generational photo or something of all of her children, grandchildren or great grand children. 

[Rachel]

I had all my cousins write a letter to my grandparents with their memories. Some wrote a sentence or two, some wrote long letters. They really appreciated the sentiment.

[purpleowl]

Agree with those who say something consumable. My DH's grandmother (soon to be 94) absolutely loves the Harry & David pears we get her every Christmas.

[happypamama]

Photos of and cards/pictures made by grand/great-grandchildren. A visit if you can do it.

 

A special food or meal at a favorite restaurant with you if you can.

 

I read of one woman who made her elderly father several home cooked meals, packaged individually to freeze. I know if I were the old person, I would totally love that.

[Pegasus]

Magazine subscriptions became my go-to gift for my dad when he got older. He bought everything that he wanted or needed for himself.  Family photos were appreciated as well.

[katilac]

Agree with consumables and heat and eat meals if he can manage the microwave. 

 

An outing, if that can be managed. 

[happypamama]

A man might not appreciate this like a woman might, but for my grandparents' sixtieth anniversary, I organized my three siblings and two cousins and myself to chip in and send them a nice flower arrangement. They'd taken all of us and our parents on a nice vacation for their fiftieth, right before the first of us got married (me), and we all scattered to have our own adult lives, so since we all couldn't be together, we did the next best thing and organized together. They seemed really touched. (And I'm glad I made that effort because my grandmother passed away a few years after that and won't see their seventieth.). So for the right person, flowers -- no clutter, but it lets them know you care.

[Kareni]

Does he enjoy music?  Perhaps some CDs with artists that were popular during his twenties and thirties.

 

 I'm not 81 but I like these:

 

The Tom Lehrer Collection (includes CD and DVD)

 

That Was the Year That Was (CD)

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Guest]

I got a digital frame for my parents and loaded it up with pictures of the family and our travels together.  I scanned a boatload of photographs to make that happen, but it has been a major HIT with them for years.  I send my sister a new thumb drive every once in awhile to add new photos.  

[Daria]

When my dad was suffering dementia, he enjoyed coffee table books with big color photos of places he had visited. It was sometimes hard for him to sustain interaction, and pointing at pictures and talking about them was a good way to structure time together.

[ktgrok]

If you do take him to a reastaurant, i would take him to a favorite place, not somewhere new. New places when you have dementia can be confusing, and might ruin the experience. 

[elegantlion]

Out to eat and company. 

[Guest]

When my FIL was losing himself, he enjoyed looking at picture albums, family photos, or books about the areas that had interested him in his life.  It was a sweet time in many ways, even tho it was also hard.

[heartlikealion]

When my FIL was losing himself, he enjoyed looking at picture albums, family photos, or books about the areas that had interested him in his life.  It was a sweet time in many ways, even tho it was also hard.

 

Maybe a calendar with photos like the above

 

Also a fan of consumables or taking him out if he's into that. My grandma would probably enjoy being taken to a casino lol.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I got my 86 year old mom a copy of "Humans of New York - Stories"  She LOVES that book!  It's full of human interest stories, short ones, with pictures.  She has read through it several times, and it's new every time!  

 

For my FIL, the kids and I cleaned the garage on one visit.  I could tell it hadn't been swept out in a long while, so we just moved things a little to sweep around them, then put them back almost in the same spot, just neater.  FIL loved that.

 

I would also suggest something consumable, along with some company.

[Guest]

Company. An evening outing if he has night driving restrictions, say to a gc's bball game, a concert, a vet's event, etc.

[Lanny]

Does he like to listen to music? If so, consider giving him 1 or 2 CDs of his favorite groups/singers. Or, some light Classical music CDs.   In children, music increases their Math abilities. Possibly in the case of your dad it would help his brain function? Whether or not it does that, it might be something he enjoys listening to.  

[Cinder]

MIL is in her late 80's and likes to get books or money to buy books. She also would like dinner out or maybe money for tickets to a play or opera--enough for at least 2 tickets so she can invite SIL or a friend along. She doesn't have dementia, though, so these ideas might not work for you.

[SKL]

Old war movies, a nice throw blanket, a new wallet with a gift card?  Take him out to a restaurant he loves?

[JFSinIL]

Cake and company. Take me out to eat at my favorite restaurant. Make me a photobook at Shutterfly - I have made several for my dad, who is farther along now in dementia :-(

One book - "What makes a great Dad or Grandpa" served as an excuse to remind him who we all are, I used mostly photos of Dad with his kids/grandkids so he'd at least recognize himself, and maybe the kid/grandkid in the photo. I started the book with photos of Dad as a kid with his folks, then added a shot of him with his babies since we made him a dad etc. etc.

 

He also has a photo pillow and a fleece throw from Shutterfly with family photos on them.

 

Dad also liked barbershop quartet music, big band tunes, etc.

Edited August 19, 2016 by JFSinIL

[Anne in CA]

If he lives in a nursing home, monogrammed things. When my sister was a CNA in a nursing home she told me that the patients loved monogrammed things that were clearly theirs.

[JFSinIL]

Oh, and if you want to make memory photo books, you can find a parent's childhood addresses via US Census (1940 is most recent, so may have to look under your grandfolks names). Google Maps is great to look up the addresses then, and if the house still exists, use the image in your photobook! I did this successfully for my mom.

[Lady Florida.]

I agree with either time together or something consumable. FIL is 88 though of sound mind for his age, and none of the "kids" give him gifts anymore except for one BIL who sends Kindle books to his account. Anything you give him that isn't consumable is one more thing you (and your siblings if you have any) will eventually have to go through and decide on its fate (keep, toss, give away).

Edited August 19, 2016 by Lady Florida.