nevergiveup Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) Would you tell a friend that her underwear is not flattering? She likes tight clothing and has unsightly lines... Disclaimer: I am not into fashion and am currently wearing an old pair of my son's shorts..... Edited July 18, 2016 by nevergiveup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yes. I would want to know. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Maybe you can take a photo of her (for a realistic reason) and see if she notices herself when you send her the photo? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I personally wouldn't unless she asked your opinion on her clothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 if others in your group have noticed and have similar concerns . . . my sil's friends did a "what not to wear" with her one year for her birthday. made a list of what she was not allowed to wear - and they even contributed to a new wardrobe group/gift. they did have at least one person with fashion sense to help her with what TO wear that was more flattering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Nope, I wouldn't mention it. Chances are she's looked in a mirror and has seen her panty lines. I can't quite grasp that panty lines are unflattering and yet men showing their undies out the top of their pants is ok, and seeing a bra is ok. But I live in either jeans or yoga pants so I'm about the least fashion forward human out there. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 No What makes a line unsightly? 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Never. I rarely see my friends as it is, that would be the last thing I would worry about. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) No. No. No. Unless asked. I would want a friend to tell me i got my period or a grass stain or a hole in an embarassing place. Panty line. No. I probably already know. Edited July 18, 2016 by kewb 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Nope, I wouldn't mention it. Chances are she's looked in a mirror and has seen her panty lines. I can't quite grasp that panty lines are unflattering and yet men showing their undies out the top of their pants is ok, and seeing a bra is ok. But I live in either jeans or yoga pants so I'm about the least fashion forward human out there. why do you think it's ok for men's undies to show at the top of their pants, or women's bras to show? it's all sloppy looking. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 How close of a friend?I have told my very closest friend some things to save her from embarrassment. I don't actually think panty lines are important. As a society we should be conditioned not to notice things like bra straps, panty lines, and similar. Then again, maybe I am just clueless.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 why do you think it's ok for men's undies to show at the top of their pants, or women's bras to show? it's all sloppy looking. Eh it's one of those things though where I think it's not really my business. One look I'm not crazy about is seeing women bending over who are wearing thongs and I can see most of their thong. I don't really want to see that. And how on earth are thongs comfortable? Who wants fabric wedged up their butt?! But I would never point it out either. So the outline of underwear? I probably wouldn't even notice nor think about that. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't think she knows.. She was crouching down in public once and her butt crack was hanging out. I called her on that one. No one wants to see a 55 year old butt crack... She prides herself on being thin and fit. Her undies make her butt cheek squish out in an unflattering way when she walks. I don't think she looked at herself walking from behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 No. Please no. I understand that you mean well but I would have a hard time getting past that. It isn't like a blood stain. It seems really petty. If she is the type of person that would be mortified by panty lines I guess you could tell her but that type of person probably already would have thought through the issue. If I have panty lines showing it is usually because I have gained some weight and things aren't fitting quite right. I would already be aware and not want to be informed. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Only if you no longer want to be friends. 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yeah I too think this is too petty to mention. Blood, rips, toilet paper on shoe, skirt tucked into underwear...those are worth mentioning, but not this. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexigail Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Depends on the friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I would be reluctant to for the reasons others have already stated but I personally would for sure want a friend to tell me so YMMV. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Especially if she prides herself on her appearance, NO. She won't forgive you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't think she knows.. She was crouching down in public once and her butt crack was hanging out. I called her on that one. No one wants to see a 55 year old butt crack... She prides herself on being thin and fit. Her undies make her butt cheek squish out in an unflattering way when she walks. I don't think she looked at herself walking from behind. This happens to me occasionally even with trying to prevent it and I hate when my kids point it out. I can totally feel it, so no need to point it out kids! Even if it's unflattering on your friend, I still would not say anything at all unless she specifically asked. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I was weeks post-partum and hanging out at VBS with the other moms. I bent over to pick-up somthing on the ground and apparently my butt-crack showed. Someone put a coin in my butt. I was mortified. She thought it was hysterical. She was a friend of a friend so I didn't even know her. I will never speak to her again. No, this isn't your situation, but I'd advise against saying anything. I think that noticing things like panty-lines and butt-cheeks squishing is petty. I would not think kindly of you if you mentioned that to me. Even if I said "thanks". 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't think she knows.. She was crouching down in public once and her butt crack was hanging out. I called her on that one. No one wants to see a 55 year old butt crack... She prides herself on being thin and fit. Her undies make her butt cheek squish out in an unflattering way when she walks. I don't think she looked at herself walking from behind. I'm fascinated by your use of the word "friend." 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 And how on earth are thongs comfortable? Who wants fabric wedged up their butt?! I'm the same way, but my sister wears them. She says regular underwear goes up her butt too, so with a thong it's at least LESS fabric up her butt. Honestly, if I had that problem I'd go commando before I'd wear a thong, but I at least can understand it better now. I've never had an issue with my underwear giving me a wedgie, so I guess I'm lucky. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I wouldn't, and here's why. Her underwear has little to do with the kind of person she is or what she is doing day to day. Is she going on a job interview? Up on stage? Training to be an Olympic gymnast? Then it doesn't matter. She is not in a position where she is seeking others to watch her body. I have a friend who likes to wear men's t-shirts. Another who is working on finding the perfect organic/vegan/etc. deodorant. I love these people. What they choose to wear or not wear is up to them. We have different choices, but unless they specifically ask for my opinion in that area of their life it is not my business to bestow it on them. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yeah I too think this is too petty to mention. Blood, rips, toilet paper on shoe, skirt tucked into underwear...those are worth mentioning, but not this. My mom taught me not to point out any clothing problems that could not be fixed on the spot. So, I agree with Sparkly's list. Nothing the woman can do about her underwear at the time you'd be telling her. Lots of people don't look so great from the back as they walk. Thin or not, flattering clothing or not, the act of walking makes bodies move and not always in graceful ways. Don't walk behind her if it bothers you. (I don't mean that in a snarky way. Just, to preserve your own sanity and comfort, don't expose yourself to the view.) 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 why do you think it's ok for men's undies to show at the top of their pants, or women's bras to show? it's all sloppy looking. Sure, it's sloppy looking but not seen as socially unacceptable. I got the impression that the OP sees panty lines as more than just sloppy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I was weeks post-partum and hanging out at VBS with the other moms. I bent over to pick-up somthing on the ground and apparently my butt-crack showed. Someone put a coin in my butt. I was mortified. She thought it was hysterical. She was a friend of a friend so I didn't even know her. What is wrong with people?!? I can't even imagine adults treating other adults like this. Unbelievable. :mad: 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Hell no. I don't look at my friends' butts that closely for one thing, but no. Noooooo. If you're out shopping and she puts her butt in front of you and asks what do you think of this dress/pants, you could then reply, looks great but you need different underpants for those. Toilet paper, broccoli in teeth, all of those are different and easily fixed. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't think she knows.. She was crouching down in public once and her butt crack was hanging out. I called her on that one. No one wants to see a 55 year old butt crack... She prides herself on being thin and fit. Her undies make her butt cheek squish out in an unflattering way when she walks. I don't think she looked at herself walking from behind. Wow. Didn't read all of the posts before posting. I'm with Tibbie. This is exceedingly unkind. Why are you judging her butt? Please don't walk behind me. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't think she knows.. She was crouching down in public once and her butt crack was hanging out. I called her on that one. No one wants to see a 55 year old butt crack... She prides herself on being thin and fit. Her undies make her butt cheek squish out in an unflattering way when she walks. I don't think she looked at herself walking from behind. I wouldn't mention this. It may not be an easy fix, and it's not going to be immediately embarrassing to her as something like toilet paper hanging out. What you describe could be reality for at least 1 million people everyday. You can't go around "fixing" everyone's panty lines from showing. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Would you tell a friend that her underwear is not flattering? She likes tight clothing and has unsightly lines... Disclaimer: I am not into fashion and am currently wearing an old pair of my son's shorts..... By "unsightly lines" do you mean that a casual observer would be aware that she is actually wearing underwear, or that her bra is poorly fitted and it looks like she has four bazzooms, and her bikini underpants are so small that it looks like a rubber band around a water balloon? If you are just aware that she is wearing undergarments, ignore. Seeing the outline of a bra or underpants is no big deal, I consider it to be more of a flaw of women's clothing design that the fabric is not substantial enough. no advice for how to tell her if you choose to, Sorry! But I am female and have three daughters and I'm tired of hearing that bra straps and panty lines are criminal (NOT saying you said that!!!) so I wanted to clarify what was unsightly and unflattering. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'm the same way, but my sister wears them. She says regular underwear goes up her butt too, so with a thong it's at least LESS fabric up her butt. Honestly, if I had that problem I'd go commando before I'd wear a thong, but I at least can understand it better now. I've never had an issue with my underwear giving me a wedgie, so I guess I'm lucky. I'd assume if the underwear is going up her butt it's either way too tight or way too big. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MFG Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Wow. Didn't read all of the posts before posting. I'm with Tibbie. This is exceedingly unkind. Why are you judging her butt? Please don't walk behind me.The ageism is also a nice touch. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 By "unsightly lines" do you mean that a casual observer would be aware that she is actually wearing underwear, or that her bra is poorly fitted and it looks like she has four bazzooms, and her bikini underpants are so small that it looks like a rubber band around a water balloon? If you are just aware that she is wearing undergarments, ignore. Seeing the outline of a bra or underpants is no big deal, I consider it to be more of a flaw of women's clothing design that the fabric is not substantial enough. no advice for how to tell her if you choose to, Sorry! But I am female and have three daughters and I'm tired of hearing that bra straps and panty lines are criminal (NOT saying you said that!!!) so I wanted to clarify what was unsightly and unflattering. :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 The ageism is also a nice touch. Yes, it is. So if we want to "go there" let's just assume nobody gives a frack what an old bag wears anyway. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Eh it's one of those things though where I think it's not really my business. One look I'm not crazy about is seeing women bending over who are wearing thongs and I can see most of their thong. I don't really want to see that. And how on earth are thongs comfortable? Who wants fabric wedged up their butt?! But I would never point it out either. So the outline of underwear? I probably wouldn't even notice nor think about that. she was saying she thought they were ok- I was asking her why she thought that. I'm the same way, but my sister wears them. She says regular underwear goes up her butt too, so with a thong it's at least LESS fabric up her butt. Honestly, if I had that problem I'd go commando before I'd wear a thong, but I at least can understand it better now. I've never had an issue with my underwear giving me a wedgie, so I guess I'm lucky. sounds like she's wearing the wrong size (vanity sizing, she should try a larger size) . . . . I used to have the problem of my bra riding up in back - it was the wrong size. Sure, it's sloppy looking but not seen as socially unacceptable. I got the impression that the OP sees panty lines as more than just sloppy. I got the impression the woman thinks of herself as fashionable - and the OP see's it as distracting from her friends desire to be fashionable looking. iow: sloppy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'd assume if the underwear is going up her butt it's either way too tight or way too big. Or the elastic is shot. It's still not my butt, so I'd MYOB. (MYOBAB actually--mind my own business and butt.) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Wow. I'm so horrified by some of these posts. I have a big butt. If my butt looks unflattering when I walk...I just don't know what to do with that. I mean really. If a "friend" pointed it out, well, I guess we just wouldn't be friends. Btw, my dh picks out my undies. I don't want anyone else's opinion. I am 5 feet tall. 5 of my friends are in the 6foot range. That puts my eyes right around panty height. I have never, in 20 years of friendship, ever noticed their panty lines or lack of. Never. I can't imagine. There is a problem here, and it's not your friend's butt. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I wouldn't but then again I have been known to go to Walmart in my pj pants (late night med/pedialyte run). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yes, it is. So if we want to "go there" let's just assume nobody gives a frack what an old bag wears anyway. Besides, it's only a matter of time before we're talking about Depends lines.... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'd assume if the underwear is going up her butt it's either way too tight or way too big. She says it has always been like that, since she was a kid. Something about the shape of her rear versus her hips or something, I don't know. I didn't go into details, lol. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 SO much would depend on the relationship. A sisterly friendship, absolutely. A less intimate friendship, definitely not. In between is a gray area. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I got the impression the woman thinks of herself as fashionable - and the OP see's it as distracting from her friends desire to be fashionable looking. iow: sloppy. Ok, I'll accept that. But if for example my friend prides herself on having a neat and tidy house and while visiting I notice some dust behind the toilet, I'm not going to point it out. It might look as if I'm trying to point out her failure. Same with panties. But on the other hand, the OP pointed out the panty line lady's exposed butt crack and the friendship is intact so they might have a much different friendship than the ones I have. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Is she a casual friend you see occasionally, or is she a close friend? I'd want my close friend to tell me, for sure. But I have only 2 that I'm close with that I'd tell them, and they'll tell me. I agree with you that she doesn't know and would like to know. However, are you sure it is an underwear issue? Or an issue that better / different underwear would fix? I wouldn't mention it to a casual friend. I guess if she is a real friend, someone you are really close to, you will know that you can tell her. With close friends, you just know. If you are not sure, then don't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'd assume if the underwear is going up her butt it's either way too tight or way too big. I have this issue with every kind of undies except the old lady Lollipops that go down the leg and end with a band instead of elastic. I'm also short, so those hang out the top. Even when they fit perfectly.I must have a munchie booty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 She says it has always been like that, since she was a kid. Something about the shape of her rear versus her hips or something, I don't know. I didn't go into details, lol. I'm convinced they don't make clothing for actual people so maybe it's really just a matter of the "average" person they make it for not working out for her. On another note my 11 year old was reading this thread over my shoulder and said maybe this is a bad time...I'm out of here. LOL 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I have this issue with every kind of undies except the old lady Lollipops that go down the leg and end with a band instead of elastic. I'm also short, so those hang out the top. Even when they fit perfectly.I must have a munchie booty. Could you post a pick of those undies? That actually sounds like it might be good for me. I'm also short. I wear granny panties. I don't like these low cut things or string things or silky slippery things. No....give me granny, comfy, and functional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Wow. I'm so horrified by some of these posts. I have a big butt. If my butt looks unflattering when I walk...I just don't know what to do with that. I mean really. If a "friend" pointed it out, well, I guess we just wouldn't be friends. Btw, my dh picks out my undies. I don't want anyone else's opinion. I am 5 feet tall. 5 of my friends are in the 6foot range. That puts my eyes right around panty height. I have never, in 20 years of friendship, ever noticed their panty lines or lack of. Never. I can't imagine. There is a problem here, and it's not your friend's butt. Hey some people like big butts. They even write songs about it. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Ok, I'll accept that. But if for example my friend prides herself on having a neat and tidy house and while visiting I notice some dust behind the toilet, I'm not going to point it out. It might look as if I'm trying to point out her failure. Same with panties. But on the other hand, the OP pointed out the panty line lady's exposed butt crack and the friendship is intact so they might have a much different friendship than the ones I have. That's not a good analogy. If your friend prides herself on having a tidy house and the dust is visible, she knows about it (no need to point out.) If you had to make an effort to look for the dust--no need to point out either, for obvious reasons. Panty lines are exposed and yet it is unlikely that she knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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