skimomma Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 At what age (if ever) would you allow children with very strong swimming skills to go swimming with other friends but no adults at a beach (assuming no undertow, no lifeguards, and no other people) or hotel/private backyard pool? My 12 yo has been lobbying for this privilege and many of her friends are allowed to do so, but we have now allowed it yet. Obviously that point comes some time before adulthood but I cannot put my finger on when that might be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Never at a beach since rip tides are all too common. IMHO I don't think it is safe to more than wade in the ocean at most knee deep even for very strong swimmers. Pools should have an adult or life guard too IMO since drowning is often a silent event and can happen in the midst of people in the pool without anyone realizing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I've let my 10 yo's go to a pool with sibs. I'd rather 14-15 for the filled quarries that pass for swimming here. We have no beach but I'd guess 14-15 there too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 That's a good question. I don't have a clear-cut answer, but I tend to think that by the age they can baby-sit or for sure be life-guards. 16 yos drive and that seems to suggest a level of discernment. By that time, even if they are not great swimmers, they should be able to make choices based on their knowledge of their ability. I think I'd probably let 13 year olds go canoeing without adults, if I knew they would take it seriously. If I thought there might be drinking, I would be much more cautious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Never at a beach since rip tides are all too common. IMHO I don't think it is safe to more than wade in the ocean at most knee deep even for very strong swimmers. Pools should have an adult or life guard too IMO since drowning is often a silent event and can happen in the midst of people in the pool without anyone realizing it. So 18? As in whenever child is no longer a child and makes their own decisions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Never at a beach since rip tides are all too common. IMHO I don't think it is safe to more than wade in the ocean at most knee deep even for very strong swimmers. Pools should have an adult or life guard too IMO since drowning is often a silent event and can happen in the midst of people in the pool without anyone realizing it. Also, I don't think it would change your answer but when I said "beaches" I meant lake beaches. I do agree that the ocean is a whole different situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I'm not sure yet. My kids are 8 and 9 and I still want an adult to be in the room / within eyesight, even though they are together and both swim well. I look back to when I was 13 and swam at a pond with just my siblings. Though nobody got hurt, it wasn't wise in retrospect. Nobody in our group was trained in lifesaving. If it was just a backyard pool, I would think it would be fine for siblings - but friends, I dunno - what is the likelihood of horseplay in the water? I can remember some stupid behaviors from when I was a kid in a pool. My answer might depend on whether any or all of the kids had training in lifesaving around water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 At least around here 15 year olds can take lifeguard training, so defintiely by that age I would think that swimming in most situations (lake, pool, pond) should be acceptable without an adult supervising. If 15 year olds with proper training can supervise others swimming, then a 15 year old who is a capable swimmer could swim with a friend. Of course if the friend is not a good swimmer and the good swimmer is responsible for "supervising" in a sense the poor swimmer, that would be a problem if the 15 year old wasn't actually trained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Never at a beach since rip tides are all too common. IMHO I don't think it is safe to more than wade in the ocean at most knee deep even for very strong swimmers. Pools should have an adult or life guard too IMO since drowning is often a silent event and can happen in the midst of people in the pool without anyone realizing it. Do you mean for a teen or anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I think something that is difficult for people with this sort of question is that it is just not possible to ever prevent every accident, or make it risk free. I am, at 39, an ok swimmer. I can decide to go swimming by myself if I want to, or even go and supervise my kids. In the other swimming thread, someone mentioned a drowned three year old with 5 lifeguards and 15 adults. I think in part pools are a bigger issue than beaches, but even so - I think this suggests that there is no way to make it 100% safe except to not swim at all. From a parents perspective, it's hard to say "at X age I am going to give my child the job of managing that risk for herself." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 At what age (if ever) would you allow children with very strong swimming skills to go swimming with other friends but no adults at a beach (assuming no undertow, no lifeguards, and no other people) or hotel/private backyard pool? My 12 yo has been lobbying for this privilege and many of her friends are allowed to do so, but we have now allowed it yet. Obviously that point comes some time before adulthood but I cannot put my finger on when that might be. I think "very strong swimming skills" needs to be defined. My children have very strong swimming skills for their age. The little one has poor impulse control. I am not sure when I'd want my kid swimming alone. I have what I think is a healthy love/fear relationship with water... I love it but I also know that it's stronger than most people think. I guess I'd leave a kid alone with a large body of water when I'd leave them alone with fire. Water is trickier than fire but the danger is real. For some kids, that will be 12, particularly those who were raised on the water and understand it. For some kids, that is going to be later because they don't have that healthy fear of it. They just don't think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mermo Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 That is a tough one. We only go to the beach every year or 2 as a family for vacation so we are right there (kids are 10,8,8). All mine area strong swimmers and have been on summer and winter swim teams for years. I actually think their confidence in the water is a problem right now since they think they can handle any water including the ocean. We have lots of talks about respecting the ocean and how to handle a rip tide (I was caught in one in my 20's and is was really scary, I didn't know what to do and was helped by life guard. I would say 15 at minimum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 If the kid is a strong swimmer and everyone else in the group is too, I'd say the beach at 12-14 and a backyard pool at 10-11. I don't think I was supervised in our pool beyond sixth grade, but a beach has some different hazards that would make me more cautious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It might depend on what kind of friends and how many, but I'd be inclined to say mid-teens, and more apt to say yes if he and at least one of his friends pursued lifeguard certification. Even a pair of adults can suddenly be in big trouble if one of them has a problem, you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 At the beach, probably not until they're an adult. I can't imagine where there are beaches without lifeguards (in season at least). None around here that I can think of. We have a pool, and my kids are very, very strong swimmers. DD is on the swim team at school. I let them swim together without me starting about two years ago, so they were 11 and 13. I am in the house but not really close to the pool, and I am often working in my office. I would be fine with them swimming at a friend's house as long as there were least two people together. I wouldn't have a problem with them in a hotel or a lake either, though I imagine hotel rules might not allow that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 With just my kids? All extremely strong swimmers. 10ish for pool. I did leave them at the neighborhood pool younger than that with lifeguard's permission while I ran home for something a few times. They were the only kids there. 12ish for ocean with instructions to not go in deep. Lake (recreational lake/backyard with a dock) was about 12 also. In all situations, I could check on them regularly/randomly from a deck to see if they were obeying my rules. With other kids involved, it really just depended on who the kids were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 At the beach, probably not until they're an adult. I can't imagine where there are beaches without lifeguards (in season at least). None around here that I can think of. It can be so different everywhere. We have at least 30 nice swimming beaches within a half-hour drive, none of which have lifeguards. In fact, it is not at all uncommon to be the only people at a beach even during high season. I imagine that is common in many low-population areas. There are two beaches within walking distance on my house. Dd wants to be able to go to them with her friends. I have not allowed it yet but am considering it for next summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 I think "very strong swimming skills" needs to be defined. I define it as passing Red Cross Level 6 plus having a basic understanding of how to handle undertow. But I realize that others might define it differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 My oldest started going to our neighborhood pool with just friends at about 14 years old. There's no lifeguard, you need to have the combination to get in the gate, there's a deep end with diving board. There's also lifesaving equipment, a phone and it's about 2 blocks from home. Our lake is about 2 miles, the equipment isn't out when the lifeguards aren't there and no phone unless you have a cell on you. It didn't come up with my oldest because we've only been members of the lake the past couple years but I think the younger guys will have to be 15/16 before I'd have them go alone with just friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I don't know the answer but I think it would be influenced less by swimming skills and more by responsible decision making skills. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Our neighborhood pool drop off age is 10. I was comfortable with that by the time the second child was 10. All of mine were on swim team and there are lots of life guards and parents at the pool. The lake only has a couple of public swimming areas, so when we go, the dc are in the boat with us. I don't have a big problem if they swim without a life jacket, but they usually wear them anyway. They always tube and wake board with a life jacket. They don't love to swim in the lake, so it's not a big deal. The beach terrifies me. I think 16 sounds like a reasonable age, though I would encourage a beach with lifeguards. Most don't have lifeguards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It can be so different everywhere. We have at least 30 nice swimming beaches within a half-hour drive, none of which have lifeguards. In fact, it is not at all uncommon to be the only people at a beach even during high season. I imagine that is common in many low-population areas. There are two beaches within walking distance on my house. Dd wants to be able to go to them with her friends. I have not allowed it yet but am considering it for next summer. My children have passed 4 levels of swimming lessons. I would call them confident swimmers, but not strong. There were 5 levels at swimming lessons- the last was where they would be able to swim 4 different strokes for 30 minutes a piece. I was fine that they didn't want to pursue that level. Anyway, where I live, inland lakes and swimming holes abound. I have no problems with my 11 and 15 year old swimming by themselves in any of them. Our only rule is that they stay together, so if one wants to leave, they both need to leave. When we go camping at an inland lake they frequently go off to the beach area together (no lifeguard). I've been letting them go alone for two years now as capable swimmers. There is such a huge difference between an ocean and big lake beach, and the inland lakes that I think you are talking about. At 13 I would definitely allow it, but the standing rule is that they are never to be alone in the water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Ocean? Never. Lake? Probably never. Pond? 16-18 if they are lifeguard certified. I would never leave a group of untrained children to swim alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 So 18? As in whenever child is no longer a child and makes their own decisions? I am not sure yet since we are taking it day by day;) My kid has problems with following simple directions in regards to life skills, We do do swimming lessons though. I thought you were referencing an ocean beach. A lake I would feel differently. If it were at a know shore of a lake with life guards no problem. In the middle of a lake, I would be inclined to say wear a life jacket. You also have to keep in mind I would critical care trauma for a couple decades and saw every freak accident out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Do you mean for a teen or anyone? Actually I am inclined to say anyone but we have gone waist high. last summer we just went knee high. None of us are strong swimmers. But after reading of many folks succumbing to rip tides around here and of sharks attacks last year it gives me pause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Well, effectively never. Nobody around here has pools in their backyard of any sort of depth or width - it's above-ground only, and those are both small and rare. None of the public pools are without lifeguards (and kids aren't allowed to go there alone unless they are a certain height). You're not allowed to so much as wade into your ankles where the water is lapping on the beach unless the lifeguards are out. It seems so strange to me to have a public beach or semi-public pool (like at a hotel) without lifeguards. I suppose that leaves the Y. Their rule is that a child must be 9 to go into the pool without an adult in the pool with them, and 12 to go into the pool without an adult on the pool deck. I imagine that private pools like at the JCC or at Asphalt Green have similar rules, but I haven't personally checked. That rule seems fairly reasonable to me, I guess. I can't swim, though (which is one reason I was so adamant that the girls had to learn), so I'm not sure what counts as "strong" swimming skills or whatnot. They can get from one end of the pool to the other and I go "WOW! AMAZING!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Gosh my world is so different. I grew up on the Gulf of Mexico. 98% of homes in my town have swimming pools. In addition, we have a dozen or so beautiful spring fed freshwater lakes. You learn to swim (and do it well) at a very early age. Our entire community revolves around the water and being outside. I just can't imagine these posts that only an adult should be alone at the beach. It's a much different situation for my family. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Gosh my world is so different. I grew up on the Gulf of Mexico. 98% of homes in my town have swimming pools. In addition, we have a dozen or so beautiful spring fed freshwater lakes. You learn to swim (and do it well) at a very early age. Our entire community revolves around the water and being outside. I just can't imagine these posts that only an adult should be alone at the beach. It's a much different situation for my family. I'm with you. My 6 year old goes to surf camp. I've been at the beach and at pools with very little supervision since early elementary. I don't know the answer to this question, but I imagine that it would be much sooner than others. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Goodness me.... maybe it's growing up in Australia, but this fear of water seems crazy to me. I swam in the backyard pool from age... 8 or 9 I suppose, with my 6 or 7 year old sister in there with me. We could both swim since swimming lessons are compulsory at school here. As a child I often swam with friends without adult supervision. The beach does have different risks, but I went camping beside a beach at 15, no parents, just a bunch of teens. Kids need to be taught beach safety. Rips are not that dangerous to a strong swimmer if you know how to handle them safely and calmly, another core part of water safety education in Australia. They will not pull you out forever, only until you're behind the break. So either float out on it, then float in on the waves, exerting as little energy as you need to, or if you can see the edge of the rip (and most rips are visible to anyone taught to spot them) swim sideways across it, towards the white break. And most of all, do not waste energy and breath panicking, it wont take you away to the big wide ocean, just to behind where the waves are breaking. You don't want a weak swimmer getting caught in one of course, and you should never swim in the surf alone, ever. But provided my child is going with a group and can prove herself a strong swimmer with knowledge of how to spot and deal with rips, I'd let them go from around 12 or so, which is when I first did it, and I am legally blind! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I think there are so many variables to this question that it's hard to answer. It's not so much about age or swimming ability for me but about the rest of the scenario. How good of swimmers are the other kids? Is it a setting they are all comfortable in and know how to navigate dangers? Are they mature enough to not take stupid risks? Would they be able to keep their head in an emergency? I would let my current 12 year old swim at our friend's house with no adult watching because he is a very strong swimmer and so are her kids. I would have confidence that they could watch each other and that they would all have the maturity to know what to do in an emergency. He has other friends who are not at all good swimmers and I might be more uncomfortable in that scenario because although he's a good swimmer he doesn't have the ability to rescue someone. At a beach, I think it would also depend on how comfortable and trained the kid is in swimming in the surf or water conditions. A 12 or 13 year old who has grown up at the beach might be perfectly fine in a group swimming in the ocean. A 18 year old (or 30 year old) who has no idea about riptides might not be safe swimming in the ocean. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 13, 2015 Author Share Posted November 13, 2015 It seems so strange to me to have a public beach or semi-public pool (like at a hotel) without lifeguards. You have seen a guarded pool at a hotel? I have never seen that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I don't really get saying not until they are legally adults. If they don't know how to make responsible decisions at 17, they likely won't at 18 either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I don't really get saying not until they are legally adults. If they don't know how to make responsible decisions at 17, they likely won't at 18 either. It doesn't make any sense to me either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 The only time I've ever seen a lifeguard at a hotel pool was at a resort. It's definitely not the norm in regular hotels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted November 13, 2015 Author Share Posted November 13, 2015 The only time I've ever seen a lifeguard at a hotel pool was at a resort. It's definitely not the norm in regular hotels. I have only seen them at waterpark hotels, which makes sense. Never at a traditional hotel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 We don't have lifeguards on our beaches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Shelley Hill Pools has over 40 years of experience providing in ground, concrete, indoor, built in, and infinity pools, in new york, hudson valley. Our focus on quality and aesthetics has made us one of the leading providers of high-end pools in the community, which is why we are the top choice for many of your neighbors. you can look us up at shelleyhillswimmingpools.com That is some pretty diligent spam. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Lake beaches, I'd okay at almost any age (with strong swimming ability.) Of course, I'm going on my area's definition of lake beach. Walk-in beaches, and roped swimming areas are almost never above my older kids' heads. Where I grew up, lake swimming was usually jumping off docks into deep water, and my mom let me go all the time. I was fine, but I don't see letting my kids participate in that at their current ages/abilities without a well-known, responsible adult. By the time I was an older teen, my friends had boating licenses and we were all over the giant lake without any supervision. I have no idea what anyone was thinking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Gosh my world is so different. I grew up on the Gulf of Mexico. 98% of homes in my town have swimming pools. In addition, we have a dozen or so beautiful spring fed freshwater lakes. You learn to swim (and do it well) at a very early age. Our entire community revolves around the water and being outside. I just can't imagine these posts that only an adult should be alone at the beach. It's a much different situation for my family. I think it gets very complicated with kids who don't have that experience. I spent most of my (warm weather, lol) life in the water. Pools, lakes, rivers, the ocean only once or twice a year... I never had formal swim instruction, but I figured it out by 6 or 7. My own kids are surrounded by water, but don't get anywhere near the time IN it that I did. I have much less confidence in their safety than I did my own, and it messes with my head quite a bit. And ever since we had a child drown in our community pool, surrounded by swimmers and multiple lifeguards, I've been even more confused about where to draw lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Older thread... There's spam - I reported it. Also, everyone started talking about totally different things... Ocean and lake (or maybe the Gulf) are such different things... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Older thread... There's spam - I reported it. Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 It depends on a lot. A lot of backyard pools are small and shallow. If my eight year old wanted to go in a friend's backyard pool and she and all her friends could stand up with their heads above the water, I'd probably say yes. I have all younger kids, and right now, I can't imagine at what age I'd let them swim at a beach without lifeguards. The idea terrifies me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I'm not sure, but I am sure it wouldn't be at 12. At the earliest, 16 (assuming no adult supervision). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) Apparently this is an old thread....... Edited January 7, 2016 by foxbridgeacademy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.