Way OT and Way TMI and umm, well, embarrassing maybe

[Mom2legomaniacs]

This is purely hypothetical, okay! Now, there's that thread on brewing tea. Lots of talk about tea. Sometimes hypothetical people go through things that make liking tea not very possible. What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time? Just purely hypothetical, of course. I figure there have got to be some non-tea drinkers out there.

 

OMG, did I just post this? Can I blame the low blood sugar still in effect?

[Jennifer3141]

I think some people like tea in waves or tides. Sometimes the waves are waaaaay out there and sometimes they come a lot.

 

And then there are people like me who are always, "good to drink."

 

Everybody's different. Not good. Not bad. Different.

 

Jen

[Tarheel Heather]

I think we all go through different cycles....

 

Blame it on hormones..

[Kay in Cal]

I enjoy tea, but I do prefer someone else to start the brewing process, if you know what I mean. I often don't think about it until I'm so tired I just want to fall asleep. Unfortunately, as my dh is a busy SAHD he often feels the same way. So we have had to intentionally schedule some tea-time.

 

It's much easier to have tea parties in our new house--in our old place not only didn't the door to the bedroom lock, it couldn't even be closed.

[melissel]

Well, yes, working from home (I want to quit), having near-total responsibility for the house and kids, and HSing have pretty much driven the desire for tea right out of me, much to DH's chagrin *sigh* I;m working on it.

 

But, if I'm not mistaken, many meds also affect desire for tea. Do you think that might be the case here? Have you looked into progesterone creams? I think that's also touted as a possible solution sometimes. I also know that if I don't get enough time to myself, I don't even want to think about tea, let alone brew any.

 

I don't have much advice, just commiseration and :grouphug:.

[cajunrose]

I don't have much to add, but I wanted to say that this is the most creative way to bring up a subject that we all beat around the bush about..ROFL

 

I haven't been so much in to making tea lately. It's just easier for me to make my own tea than it is for my husband to help me with making tea. That's just the last few weeks though...we have been through a lot lately (sicknesses, hurricane, etc) that makes making tea just one more thing that needs to get done.

 

I hope I like making tea again...I miss it.

[nakitty]

Well....tea is good for you...you know...anti-oxidants and all...:tongue_smilie: It is good for your physical AND emotional well being....so even when you really can't even stand the thought of tea....you should still have some anyhow. And *USUALLY* once you take the first sip or two....you start to remember that you do actually like tea... sometimes you find that you forgot just how much you love tea! :lol:

[Kelli in TN]

Sometimes you just gotta' fake till you make it.

 

 

Just say yes. Your mood may catch up in a few minutes.

[clwcain]

Tea brewing for one not being an option in our house, all I can say, within the bounds of taste (assuming those haven't been breached wide open by now), is that disparity in desire for tea, and in general brewing times, is one of the cruelest burdens in a marriage.

 

No advice. Just commiseration...fwiw.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Good advice.

[JennifersLost]

Here's my broken record suggestion once more.

 

Despite it's name, chaste berry can really help with hormonal disruptions, if that's the issue. You need to take it daily, except during your cycle, for at least two months before you feel the results but it is worth it. It shapes up your cycle, gets you ovulating and desirin' a little love....I highly, highly recommend it to all women who are not beyond menopause.

 

But, there may be other issues.

 

1. Are you getting enough time to yourself? Time to hang out with your friends, have fun, be an adult, do things that you feel passionate about?

 

2. How do you feel about YOU in a physical sense. I wish it wasn't the case, but the better I look, the better I feel and generally the minute I ramp up my walks, jogging, workouts, etc, the old libido ramps up, too.

 

3. Exercise in general helps. Especially bouncy, energetic, pulse-pumping exercise (great music is a plus!). Aerobics is terrific. A night out on the town dancing is pretty spectacular, too.

 

4. And how is dh suiting you these days? Does he know that a little bit of working out on his end could do a whole lot for your levels of desire? Maybe a few round-about hints.....

 

5. Then there's the good, ol "together time". If you and your dh aren't spending quality, grown up time together away from the bedroom, things in the bedroom might not work so well. Are you getting away from the house together? Make the time!

 

6. And just decide that you ARE in the mood. It's easy to slack off - life is busy; there's a million other things to do. But imagine you're doddering around an old-age home and your dh has passed on. Are you going to regret not vacuuming more? Or are you going to regret.....

 

There was a point about 1.5 years ago when I realized I was acting old. And it horrified me. Then dh wound up in the hospital due to an issue with his heart, and that really horrified me. I'm not going down easy, you know? Not without one heck of a fight, and that means exercising, eating right, being active, trying new things and making time for lots of TEA!

 

HTH -there's nothing wrong with not being in the mood. It's only wrong if your suffering or dh is suffering and you don't make any attempt to change it.

[Shelly in IL]

I cannot stand HOT tea. I enjoy and occasionally drink iced tea. But, I do not enjoy any hot drinks. FWIW

[angela in ohio]

I cannot stand HOT tea. I enjoy and occasionally drink iced tea. But, I do not enjoy any hot drinks. FWIW

 

:001_huh:

[Zelda]

:D

[newbie]

I am so lame, I just got the tea reference. Shows how much I have been drinking lately.

[WTMindy]

:001_huh:

 

LOL! My thought exactly.

[laylamcb]

I cannot stand HOT tea. I enjoy and occasionally drink iced tea. But, I do not enjoy any hot drinks. FWIW

 

Shelly, are you talkin'...actual tea? Or...TEA--wink wink, nudge nudge. We're getting to the level of WWII code crackers here, folks! Where's my Enigma machine?! :D

[laylamcb]

What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time? Just purely hypothetical, of course. I figure there have got to be some non-tea drinkers out there.

 

First off, here's a completely platonic :grouphug:.

 

Now then. Oh my, yes--I am definitely one who can go long stretches drinking nothing but ice water. ;) I wish I had a stronger libido--and maybe I'll look up Jennifer's happy berry or something similar. That sounds awesome! But between my recent back injury, my hypothyroidism, my DH's shiftwork, and my two crazy kids, I pretty much want to SLEEP when my head hits the pillow.

 

Having said that, there are some great suggestions in this thread. My taste for tea also improves with regular exercise and plenty of sleep. And I've picked up a thing or two in the other tea thread (and all of the great PMs from the Bees of the Boudoir) that I just might look into to improve (and increase the regularity of) tea time with the DH.

 

So just please let your hypothetical friend know that she's not alone. :001_smile:

[Barb_]

This is purely hypothetical, okay! Now, there's that thread on brewing tea. Lots of talk about tea. Sometimes hypothetical people go through things that make liking tea not very possible. What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time? Just purely hypothetical, of course. I figure there have got to be some non-tea drinkers out there.

 

OMG, did I just post this? Can I blame the low blood sugar still in effect?

 

You know, oftentimes the idea of tea is heavenly but the actual making of the tea seems too much like work. At 11pm I don't really want to go jogging around the block or do anything else that raises my heart rate, KWIM? Maybe we've just gone too long without...I am 39 weeks pregnant :tongue_smilie:

 

Barb

[3lilreds in NC]

:001_huh:

 

I'm with you, Angela - I don't get it either.

 

If we were actually discussing tea, I would agree - I prefer iced to hot. However, since we're not really talking about tea.... :confused:

[Nicole M]

May I interject a wee question here? Is my name going to be eternally connected to the tea euphemism, the way Elaine is connected to booKs and Church Pat of the Manor to waxing? Because a) that will mean I'm really one of you now! and b) if I'm going to have a claim to fame, this is entirely an appropriate one, and I am tickled to have opened a door for this discussion.

[Parrothead]

What did I miss? I didn't realize the tea brewing threads were about tea brewing. Gotta go back and read them now.

[Cindy in C-ville]

hypothetical people go through things that make liking tea not very possible. What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time?

 

Melissa, I could be way off here, but I'm wondering if you went through something hard, traumatic, etc. that have made it difficult for you to enjoy your tea. If that's the case, feel free to PM me and we can "talk" since I've been in those shoes, er that teapot.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

May I interject a wee question here? Is my name going to be eternally connected to the tea euphemism, the way Elaine is connected to booKs and Church Pat of the Manor to waxing? Because a) that will mean I'm really one of you now! and b) if I'm going to have a claim to fame, this is entirely an appropriate one, and I am tickled to have opened a door for this discussion.

 

Oh my yes. And just so you know, Elaine's name is definitely connected to waxing as well. And that's all I'm going to say about that! :D

[laylamcb]

May I interject a wee question here? Is my name going to be eternally connected to the tea euphemism, the way Elaine is connected to booKs and Church Pat of the Manor to waxing? Because a) that will mean I'm really one of you now! and b) if I'm going to have a claim to fame, this is entirely an appropriate one, and I am tickled to have opened a door for this discussion.

 

In a word, yes. And please--enough with the tickling. :D

[Nicole M]

Oh my yes. And just so you know, Elaine's name is definitely connected to waxing as well. And that's all I'm going to say about that! :D

 

Uh, nekkid hoo-hoo? Do I remember correctly? As in, the full meal deal?

[Marie in Oh]

I hate tea when I am pregnant. Just can't stomach it. There is something wrong about tea and pregnancy.

[laylamcb]

I hate tea when I am pregnant. Just can't stomach it. There is something wrong about tea and pregnancy.

 

Um, I could barely keep down crackers and water when I was pregnant. Tea? No thanks. But I've heard that it has the opposite effect on some women. :001_huh:

[Peela]

I think that is well well within the range of normal. I can easily go without tea for ages, so can dh, but we usually really, really enjoy it when we get around to it.

What is really hard is when one wants tea much more or less than the other. Then some negotiating and compromising and lots of communicating and reassuring is in order.

[Jami]

I hate tea when I am pregnant. Just can't stomach it. There is something wrong about tea and pregnancy.

 

Oh I disagree! :D Not about your particular taste for tea of course, that's personal. But pregnancy and tea are a great mix here. You can have lots of tea without worrying about getting pregnant (okay, the metaphor is breaking down here) because it's a fait accompli. And personally my (already fairly healthy) love of tea only increases.

 

But that's me. Poor dh. :lol:

 

Jami

[Nicole M]

Um, I could barely keep down crackers and water when I was pregnant. Tea? No thanks. But I've heard that it has the opposite effect on some women. :001_huh:

 

I'm sure it would not surprise you to know that I fell into that category, desperately tea-driven, with a thirst that could not be quenched.

 

But I think we've strayed from the original topic, have we not? In my experience, there are tides, a definite ebb and flow of thirst. I've mentioned this before, and if I can dig up the link that Mrs. Mungo provided, I will. There was a wonderful book written about 1920 about this very thing: Married Love. The language is old fashioned and lovely. Here's a line: "We have studied the wave-lengths of water, of sound, of light; but when will the sons and daughters of men study the sex-tide in woman and learn the laws of her Periodicity of Recurrence of desire?"

 

Many of the ideas in this book are dated, but there is something profoundly humane about how the author engages in this conversation. To me, tea time is much more than the tea, when it's tea for two. It's also about the conversation, the connection, and perhaps a book, read aloud, might re-kindle your desire for tea?

 

I guess the bottom line is that if this is a new thing, the loss of your thirst, then you should look for the cause, as others have suggested. But on the other hand, you might be experiencing a low ebb, and that this is just an aspect of this particular chapter of your life that will end with this chapter.

 

I hope you've found some solace here.

[Nicole M]

I think that is well well within the range of normal. I can easily go without tea for ages, so can dh, but we usually really, really enjoy it when we get around to it.

What is really hard is when one wants tea much more or less than the other. Then some negotiating and compromising and lots of communicating and reassuring is in order.

 

Shoot! That's what I was trying to say, but used way to many words. Peela, you are my hero!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

I guess I should come out from behind my rock and speak some more. Let's say the low ebb has been around a while. There are physical reasons for that too. The other one is quite fine and lovely, no pressure to change. Just wondering if others might have little taste for tea as well. (hypothetical, of course, because if it were real, I'd have to run away and hide forever!);)

[Mesa]

I'm totally jealous so many of you like and enjoy tea. I just dont... my poor dh. I try to brew tea but it's hard to act like you r enjoying your tea when you just dont.

[Blueridge]

In my home I seem to get into tea drinking habits, both with the full enjoyment of a tenderly-brewed tea, as well as the aggravation with fixing yet another cup. These habits of aggravation can be remedied by making a conscious choice to simply enjoy a cup, no matter how weakly brewed it might be. New tea drinking habits are soon established, with the added benefit of exploring new tea flavors. So perhaps you just have a bit of time before you pass out with exhaustion from your busy day. A quick half cup of decaf tea will do. When there is more time to savor a full cup, maybe try a new flavor like peppermint or raspberry. Feeling full of energy and wild abandon after watching a movie or having a date night out? Take time to really brew a choice pot of dark and rich Black or spicy Chai. The main idea is to simply get into the habit of remembering how very, very important the whole tea brewing/serving/drinking ritual is for both drinkers. For different reasons, but equally important to both. The enjoyment of cups being emptied 'together' will sustain you for a lifetime of happy tea times together. Blessings~

Ginger

[Elaine]

Well....tea is good for you...you know...anti-oxidants and all...:tongue_smilie: It is good for your physical AND emotional well being....so even when you really can't even stand the thought of tea....you should still have some anyhow. And *USUALLY* once you take the first sip or two....you start to remember that you do actually like tea... sometimes you find that you forgot just how much you love tea! :lol:

 

:lol: So true!

[Elaine]

Shelly, are you talkin'...actual tea? Or...TEA--wink wink, nudge nudge. We're getting to the level of WWII code crackers here, folks! Where's my Enigma machine?! :D

 

Oh my word, Layla! You, girl, are a hoot!:lol:

 

 

:lol: wink wink, nudge nudge:lol:

[Elaine]

May I interject a wee question here? Is my name going to be eternally connected to the tea euphemism, the way Elaine is connected to booKs and Church Pat of the Manor to waxing? Because a) that will mean I'm really one of you now! and b) if I'm going to have a claim to fame, this is entirely an appropriate one, and I am tickled to have opened a door for this discussion.

 

HEY!! I resemble that remark.:lol:

 

This is a very fuuny thread!:D

[Elaine]

Um, I could barely keep down crackers and water when I was pregnant. Tea? No thanks. But I've heard that it has the opposite effect on some women. :001_huh:

 

That was me. When I was pregnant, I wanted tea all the time. Hot tea. Cold tea. Sweet tea. Tea, tea, tea!:lol:

[Miss Sherry]

There are a few things that can cause you not to want tea or not to enjoy it as much such as decongestants and antidepressants. Some things that help with the tea being better are taking Zinc and exercise.

 

I agree that sometimes you just need to drink the tea and after you've been drinking it you realize you are enjoying it even though you didn't really want any at first.

[Elaine]

Sometimes, when you are not in the mood for tea, it helps to dress the tea up. Put it in some fine china or a lovely tea pot. When a man sees the dressed up tea, you don't have to do a lot of the brewing, the dressed up tea does alot of the work for you. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Translation: Lingerie.;) It sends the message that you are interested, even if you're not. Helps to get the tea brewing.

[Jenn in Mo]

This is purely hypothetical, okay! Now, there's that thread on brewing tea. Lots of talk about tea. Sometimes hypothetical people go through things that make liking tea not very possible. What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time? Just purely hypothetical, of course. I figure there have got to be some non-tea drinkers out there.

 

OMG, did I just post this? Can I blame the low blood sugar still in effect?

 

Okay, this took me a minute. At first, I thought, "Okay, so she's a coffee drinker???"

 

Now that I get it, I'd love to add that I spent a good 3 years where you're describing. Mostly, it was lack of sleep. I raise notoriously bad sleepers 'round my house and mine don't stay in their own beds until after they are 2 years old! It is only within the last 6 moths that I have been able to sleep through the night. I went 5 years with late night wakings!!!!

 

Better sleep, plenty of Pride & Prejudice and Becoming Jane, and 2 books helped me out. One was all about this issue and it is called "Honey, I don't have a headache tonight." GREAT book. It even has a short page for husbands at the end of each chapter. The other book has nothing to do with this topic. It is called "Captivating" and it is utterly life-changing. Having a new perspective on who I am as a daughter of Christ....seeing myself as God sees me and having a better understanding of the qualities that come with being a woman has opened a whole new world to me. I have embraced my hidden girlie side. After about 2 chapters (and watching Austen movies daily for a week,) I was all OVER my dh. I'm not sure what part of this concoction inspired the change, but within one week my entire attitude toward dh and "tea" completely flip-flopped. I've always loved my dh, but I'd forgotten how much I LOVED my dh. I remember now. And he's soooooooo liking it.

[Mom to Aly]

Ummm... I guess we aren't really talking about tea?

 

Well, as a single mom, divorced a few years ago, I guess I really am a

 

Tea-totaller :crying:

[melissel]

One last quick suggestion from me. I find that I'm far more in the mood for tea during the day. Early in the morning, when DH likes to wake me for tea? At that point, the tea is just ticking me off. If it gets too late at night, even the idea of tea is overwhelming. But if there are a few stolen moments for tea during the day, my body responds much more willingly. I know that's far easier said than done with kids in the house, but maybe you could sneak a few minutes here and there. Videos are your friend...

[Lovedtodeath]

I haven't been so much in to making tea lately. It's just easier for me to make my own tea than it is for my husband to help me with making tea. That's just the last few weeks though...we have been through a lot lately (sicknesses, hurricane, etc) that makes making tea just one more thing that needs to get done.

 

That's me. Tea for two takes so much time and effort, interruptions, frustration, tea filters. And to top it off I am exhausted after having tea. I have to choose between tea or getting a major chore done, as far as energy spending. And why does no one warn you that attachment parenting means no tea? How do attached parents ever have more than one kid every 4 years?

 

I liked having lots and lots of tea while pregnant... but it caused problems and I ended up on bedrest feeling guilty.

 

Back to the OP.... hyper or hypothyroidism, hyper or hypoadrenalism, and an imbalance in Progesterone vs. estrogen can all make a difference. Check out Drrind.com. There is information about all of these maladies there.

 

And I second the suggestion of a fancy teapot!:D

[Jenn in Mo]

Ummm... I guess we aren't really talking about tea?

 

Well, as a single mom, divorced a few years ago, I guess I really am a

 

Tea-totaller :crying:

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

very clever!

[*anj*]

Um, I could barely keep down crackers and water when I was pregnant. Tea? No thanks. But I've heard that it has the opposite effect on some women. :001_huh:

Especially in the second trimester! ;)

[KidsHappen]

Uh, nekkid hoo-hoo? Do I remember correctly? As in, the full meal deal?

 

Oh girl, you are just full of them. Full meal deal. I love it. I have a feeling this may become part of the lexicon around my house. And will you be having the full meal deal with your tea sir? :lol:

[melissel]

Tea for two takes so much time and effort...

 

Oh rats. I sing that song to my DD2 while I brush her teeth. I guess that's over with now...

 

:lol:

[Tarheel Heather]

Oh girl, you are just full of them. Full meal deal. I love it. I have a feeling this may become part of the lexicon around my house. And will you be having the full meal deal with your tea sir? :lol:

 

 

you could even say, happy meal, value meal, or biggie size?

 

 

 

I need to go to bed!