Tohru Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I am friends with the mother of a daughter that is getting married. I've never been to a bridal shower before so I am a bit confused about the custom. I recieved an invitation to the bridal shower and it's a tupperware-type party (where some one is selling a product and has a party for others to buy said product.) Unfortunately I'm not available the party day so I told the mom that we can't come, however could send the bride a monetary gift to show our support for the upcoming marriage. I was told the bride-to-be preferred a gift from the "tuperware" gift registry. Well, everything on the registry is kitchen stuff and almost all of it is over $60, which is a bit more than I had in mind, or under $8, which would make me feel cheap. I guess my question is, is this normal for a bridal shower? What should I do? I'm not great friends with the mother, we've just known each other a long time. We don't talk often. I kind of feel like I was only sent an invitation so I could participate in the 'tupperware" party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 That is just odd. It's also incredibly tacky. Will they be charging guests for the cake and coffee, as well? ;) 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I've never heard of combining a hosted show with a bridal shower. Hosted shows used to be common in my area, but not as part of a bridal shower. I would not feel bad about purchasing a gift elsewhere and forwarding it on. It's rude, imo, to say gifts must come from one place only even if a bride-to-be is registered someplace. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Oh man. I'm a to each her own kinda person generally, but that is very bizarre. Since you aren't great friends I'd probably just decline or not RSVP. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 If you know others on the guest list ypu could propose a group gift. Surely there will be others who cannot spring for a big ticket gift without joining forces. I admit to negative feelings about a shower that is structured to benefit a salesman. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I've never heard of such a combination either. Very tacky. If you want to get her something on the registry, choose 2 or 3 things from the under $8 category and be done with it. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Tacky. You are never obligated to buy something from a registry. Give something thoughtful in your price range. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 You were only sent an invitation so you can be a chump, I mean, guest at the "Tupperware" party. IMO, send nothing, do nothing except send your "regrets." If you really like the bride-to-be, send her a card and/or monetary gift within your means. I just talked about this kind of party hijack in the recent thread on MLM/Avon/Direct Sales companies. It is always, completely, 100% rude and wrong for anyone to insist that only a particular kind of gift is desired for a gift-giving ocassion. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 You were only sent an invitation so you can be a chump, I mean, guest at the "Tupperware" party. IMO, send nothing, do nothing except send your "regrets." If you really like the bride-to-be, send her a card and/or monetary gift within your means. I just talked about this kind of party hijack in the recent thread on MLM/Avon/Direct Sales companies. It is always, completely, 100% rude and wrong for anyone to insist that only a particular kind of gift is desired for a gift-giving ocassion. Yup... If this were a close friend I might get over it, but being there is barely any connection there I would not feel bad to just decline. Plenty of people likely will. I don't go to those parties when invited. I don't want to buy any of that stuff. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I'd just decline! I'm kind of the mindset showers are for nearest and dearest friends and relatives anyway. If you're going to the wedding, you'll be getting the a gift for that. Totally obnoxious. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I would skip a gift. You can throw an extra $10 on whatever you would do for a wedding gift if you want. That's a new grifter I mean gifter scam I mean scheme I mean theme... 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I've never heard of a shower like this, to be honest, but it might be a regional thing. I'd probably just buy two or three things off of the $8 gift registry and leave it at that. It would avoid issues with the Mom, and as I probably would have bought a bridal shower gift if I could attend, it would be easiest. I'm fine with honoring the bride's wishes if I can. It's her day. I've never owned Tupperware, and was surprised when I saw their prices when a Tupperware lady was selling at a school event. They are supposed to last very long, however. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I've never heard of a shower like this, to be honest, but it might be a regional thing. I'd probably just buy two or three things off of the $8 gift registry and leave it at that. It would avoid issues with the Mom, and as I probably would have bought a bridal shower gift if I could attend, it would be easiest. I'm fine with honoring the bride's wishes if I can. It's her day. I've never owned Tupperware, and was surprised when I saw their prices when a Tupperware lady was selling at a school event. They are supposed to last very long, however. The thing that bothers me about buying something -anything - from the intended party scheme is that it sends a message that this is acceptable. I would prefer to see such things result in a collossal failure so sales demonstrators will realize this is not an acceptable way of holding a sales-party. I am not opposed to gift registries on the whole and think they are very helpful, but a well-constructed gift registry has all varieties of goods, at many price points. Additionally, guests are never urged to buy from this one vender and no other substitutes are acceptable. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I'd rather get this than the invite I got to an engagement party with a lovely poem inside asking for money. Still can't get over that one. And they knew we wouldn't be able to attend since it's far away from us so obviously was sent to us for money. I would lose my nerve to send it, but I might amuse myself by penning a poetic response about penury preventing payment-in-pesos. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I'd rather get this than the invite I got to an engagement party with a lovely poem inside asking for money. Still can't get over that one. And they knew we wouldn't be able to attend since it's far away from us so obviously was sent to us for money. Apparently this is the custom in certain ethnic groups. We got an invitation to a wedding from one of DH's friends that had a line stating "no boxed gifts". Being not from this ethnic group, we had no clue what that meant so DH asked his friend the groom. That was where we learned that we were supposed to give cash rather than a household item. From our POV that was totally tacky to request but that's the norm in their culture. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 / 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 No, it's not normal and it's totally tacky and embarrassing. When I got married, some people offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was only after they gave out the invites that I learned that one of the women was a Tupperware consultant and they wrote on the invites that the shower was a Tupperware party and I wanted everything offered in the catalog. I hadn't even known she was a consultant or that the shower was to be a Tupperware party and I certainly didn't want everything offered in the catalog. I don't even like Tupperware! It was SO uncomfortable and upsetting. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 It's a real thing that exists and even has Pinterest boards. Who knew. As I guessed, probably perfectly normal/non-tacky in some parts of the country. https://www.pinterest.com/csboltz/tupperware-bridal-shower-ideas/ More Googling finds quite a few hits. For me, it's no different if the person registered at Target or Macy's or whatever. It's still a unique vendor that I'm supposed to patronize if I want to get something off of their registry. Even if I find the same thing on Amazon, if I buy it from Amazon, it's not taken off their registry at Macy's or wherever. My guess is it's for people who really love Tupperware and want to start off their married life with a good stash...as it's expensive. My big concern would be does the bride really want this, or is the mother of the groom or some Aunt a Tupperware consultant and suggested it....and the bride doesn't really want Tupperware, KWIM I've been to a kitchen-themed shower where we were expected to help supply her new kitchen, lingerie showers, and bed/bath showers. Honestly, to me, it's all part of the same thing. I've been to quite a few cash-only/expected weddings depending on the culture, too. The only awkward part is that one person is benefitting from the sale of all the gifts...but I suppose only Macy's would benefit if you're registered there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 No, it's not normal and it's totally tacky and embarrassing. When I got married, some people offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was only after they gave out the invites that I learned that one of the women was a Tupperware consultant and they wrote on the invites that the shower was a Tupperware party and I wanted everything offered in the catalog. I hadn't even known she was a consultant or that the shower was to be a Tupperware party and I certainly didn't want everything offered in the catalog. I don't even like Tupperware! It was SO uncomfortable and upsetting. That is just awful, doubly awful that they did not even ask you about it. Triply awful that the Tupperware lady was one of the hosts of the shower. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I have never heard of a Tupperware party as a bridal shower. Just no. If I weren't that close to the bride or the family, I'd send my regrets. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 It's a thing and has been a thing for more than a decade. I had one, both my sisters had one, my SIL had one, etc (Pampered Chef in our case). I've even been to a bachelorette party that was a...ahem....party of some sort (obviously not Pampered Chef). You obviously don't have to buy a gift from the party if you'd rather not. It's perfectly ok to send your regrets and that's it. You can send her some money if you'd like. If it's in advance of the party the bride-to-be can always use it toward her hostess benefits, etc. Or you can do as another person suggested and tack a little on to your wedding gift. People can provide wish lists and registry requests, but it's just a suggestion not a requirement. I am as anti-direct sales as the next, but this really isn't all that new or unique. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Back when Tupperware was more of a unique item my sister had a party and let me have her hostess freebies. I can't imagine if that had been my shower! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 It was only after they gave out the invites that I learned that one of the women was a Tupperware consultant and they wrote on the invites that the shower was a Tupperware party and I wanted everything offered in the catalog. Ew ew ew. I'm so sorry this happened. Same for the OP's situation. OP, if you feel compelled to use the registry (I wouldn't) then I agree with the suggestion to combine a couple of lower-priced items. Do it quickly, though; someone else will have the same idea. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I'd rather get this than the invite I got to an engagement party with a lovely poem inside asking for money. Still can't get over that one. And they knew we wouldn't be able to attend since it's far away from us so obviously was sent to us for money. I was invited to a shower for the mother of the groom once. The couple lived far away. We were instructed in the invitation to donate money for a gift card to...I think Lowe's or Home Depot. I wasn't invited to the wedding. Hardly anyone local was, as it was halfway across the country. It was just the oddest thing. I didn't go but I was a little tempted to, just to see what happened at a mother of the groom shower. :-) Another time a wedding invitation included a request for cash so that "we can have the honeymoon of our dreams." No. Way. We did attend that wedding, but brought a gift. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 No, it's not normal and it's totally tacky and embarrassing. When I got married, some people offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was only after they gave out the invites that I learned that one of the women was a Tupperware consultant and they wrote on the invites that the shower was a Tupperware party and I wanted everything offered in the catalog. I hadn't even known she was a consultant or that the shower was to be a Tupperware party and I certainly didn't want everything offered in the catalog. I don't even like Tupperware! It was SO uncomfortable and upsetting. Hey, could you have returned all this to the Tupperware host lady for a cash refund? It would have been less tacky than what they did. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I had a Tupperware bridal shower when I was getting married 20 years ago. Decide on your budget and put that much in an envelope for the bride. She can shop with the cash off her list. At my Tupperware shower, people could either place orders for themselves and then I got the hostess rewards from the amount of the party, or they could give money for me to shop with. I'm still using my Tupperware that I got from the shower. I think Pampered Chef ones are more the norm around here now. I don't really see the difference between that and registry list at Wal-Mart. Maybe the bride would rather have Tupperware (or Pampered Chef). It's a shower to help the bride and groom stock their house. If you don't want to place an order for Tupperware for yourself, give cash for her to shop with, or pick a couple of the smaller items to purchase. It's not any tackier than a money tree shower. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 If it's in advance of the party the bride-to-be can always use it toward her hostess benefits, etc. The Tupperware consultant who threw my bridal shower counted herself as hostess so she got the benefits (it just gets better, huh?). 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Hey, could you have returned all this to the Tupperware host lady for a cash refund? It would have been less tacky than what they did. I was so shocked and humiliated I never even thought of doing that. I ended up using a few things and regifting the rest. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I had a Tupperware bridal shower in 1980. It was close family and friends- probably 15 people there. We weren't registered anywhere, and at the time Tupperware was widely used and it was an easy shower. I do recall one person (maybe more) brought a gift rather than choose Tupperware. Nobody was scandalized, and I used those monogrammed towels until they were shreds. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 The Tupperware consultant who threw my bridal shower counted herself as hostess so she got the benefits (it just gets better, huh?). Wow. I probably would have just not shown up, I'd be too embarrassed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 The Tupperware consultant who threw my bridal shower counted herself as hostess so she got the benefits (it just gets better, huh?). Well isn't she just peachy? I don't think that's standard, but it takes all kinds I guess. 😠2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I think I would simply decline. I would send her a card with a money gift for her wedding later - if I felt like it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 No, it's not normal and it's totally tacky and embarrassing. When I got married, some people offered to throw me a bridal shower. It was only after they gave out the invites that I learned that one of the women was a Tupperware consultant and they wrote on the invites that the shower was a Tupperware party and I wanted everything offered in the catalog. I hadn't even known she was a consultant or that the shower was to be a Tupperware party and I certainly didn't want everything offered in the catalog. I don't even like Tupperware! It was SO uncomfortable and upsetting. I'm speechless. Wow. :ohmy: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Apparently this is the custom in certain ethnic groups. We got an invitation to a wedding from one of DH's friends that had a line stating "no boxed gifts". Being not from this ethnic group, we had no clue what that meant so DH asked his friend the groom. That was where we learned that we were supposed to give cash rather than a household item. From our POV that was totally tacky to request but that's the norm in their culture. But you do realize this is super common in lots and lots of cultures - Jewish, Chinese, etc. etc. It's hard for me to see it as tacky when I'm aware that it's so ingrained as a cultural tradition - red envelopes and all that. Tupperware bridal shower on the other hand... I don't really think that's an ingrained cultural tradition. Butter's story makes me feel like the OP should check with the bride herself about gifts. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 Thank you. It isn't actually Tuperware - I meant it was that kind of "party." It's 'Pampered Chef' and since I'd never heard of a 'Pampered Chef' party, I figured no one would know what I was talking about. It sounds like that it isn't unusual, but not too common either. Huh. I think I'm not going to order anything and will add to the wedding gift, if we are invited. Also, I didn't realize that there was such a thing as actual Tuperware parties. That's funny! However, so awful Butter, what a horrible thing :( 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I am friends with the mother of a daughter that is getting married. I've never been to a bridal shower before so I am a bit confused about the custom. I recieved an invitation to the bridal shower and it's a tupperware-type party (where some one is selling a product and has a party for others to buy said product.) Unfortunately I'm not available the party day so I told the mom that we can't come, however could send the bride a monetary gift to show our support for the upcoming marriage. I was told the bride-to-be preferred a gift from the "tuperware" gift registry. Well, everything on the registry is kitchen stuff and almost all of it is over $60, which is a bit more than I had in mind, or under $8, which would make me feel cheap. I guess my question is, is this normal for a bridal shower? What should I do? I'm not great friends with the mother, we've just known each other a long time. We don't talk often. I kind of feel like I was only sent an invitation so I could participate in the 'tupperware" party. Yes, I have heard of such a thing. It doesn't bother me. It's a shower. People are expected to bring gifts to a shower. People love Pampered Chef, and Tupperware, and whatnot. Just say you cannot attend. Buy the bride something else. Just because the shower's set-up is the party-plan doesn't mean you can't buy something else. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I am friends with the mother of a daughter that is getting married. I've never been to a bridal shower before so I am a bit confused about the custom. I recieved an invitation to the bridal shower and it's a tupperware-type party (where some one is selling a product and has a party for others to buy said product.) Unfortunately I'm not available the party day so I told the mom that we can't come, however could send the bride a monetary gift to show our support for the upcoming marriage. I was told the bride-to-be preferred a gift from the "tuperware" gift registry. Well, everything on the registry is kitchen stuff and almost all of it is over $60, which is a bit more than I had in mind, or under $8, which would make me feel cheap. I guess my question is, is this normal for a bridal shower? What should I do? I'm not great friends with the mother, we've just known each other a long time. We don't talk often. I kind of feel like I was only sent an invitation so I could participate in the 'tupperware" party. NO this is not remotely normal for a bridal shower. I consider any sort of shower where you are expected to buy from a "party sales" as downright crass, and the mother saying a monetary gift isn't adequate is beyond tacky. she has shown you what her priorities are - expensive gifts. a gift is just that "a gift". something freely given out of generosity of the giver. honestly, unless she was a close relative, I wouldn't give any sort of gift. (if she were a relative, I'd give a gift card/cash in an amount *I* can afford. how much that is, is NOT up to her. just because she's being so mercenary, it would be at the lower end of what I could afford.) I'd send regrets saying, sorry, can't make it, hope you have a nice time. and leave it at that. eta: for fun, I might stop at target and pick up a "Tupperware" item. yeah, you can get some Tupperware stuff at target. and I'd send that. it would piss off the tupperware party lady (she's not getting a commission) - but tough beans. eta: I bet they have lots of no-shows. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 But you do realize this is super common in lots and lots of cultures - Jewish, Chinese, etc. etc. It's hard for me to see it as tacky when I'm aware that it's so ingrained as a cultural tradition - red envelopes and all that. In my DH's and my ethnic culture, even giving gift cards is seen as a bit tacky. You know the "5 different love languages"? Gift-giving as a love language is VERY big in the Irish Catholic tradition. You're supposed to spend a lot of time choosing a thoughtful gift and giving the recipient cash or cash equivalent is like saying you don't care enough about the recipient to be bothered. I didn't say it was logical ;-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Thank you. It isn't actually Tuperware - I meant it was that kind of "party." It's 'Pampered Chef' and since I'd never heard of a 'Pampered Chef' party, I figured no one would know what I was talking about. It sounds like that it isn't unusual, but not too common either. Huh. I think I'm not going to order anything and will add to the wedding gift, if we are invited. Also, I didn't realize that there was such a thing as actual Tuperware parties. That's funny! However, so awful Butter, what a horrible thing :( I've heard of it. I consider it overpriced junk. (because part of what you are paying is COMMISSION to the sales lady. I would rather that COMMISSION money go to a gift.) but then, sur la table is my idea of what is a good kitchen store . . . . . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 My sister's first mother-in-law was a Tupperware consultant and threw my sister a Tupperware shower (about 25 years ago--this was for my sister's first marriage, which was very short-lived). I thought it was in poor taste (it was definitely not the norm in this area at the time and I've never been invited to another MLM shower since nor heard much about them). Of course I also found the "dollar dance" at my cousin's wedding in California about the same time also in poor taste (guests lined up to dance with the bride or groom and pinned money to their clothing, which is evidently a "thing" in some parts of the country), and the "here's the website to donate to our Caribbean honeymoon" from a nephew a couple of years ago. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I don't really see the difference between that and registry list at Wal-Mart. the big difference is in order to attend the "Tupperware/pampered chef/et. al) party - you're expected to BUY from their saleslady. (who gets a commission) a registry at wal-mart et.al, you can buy off it, or do something completely different - even for a shower where the gifts are opened as part of the entertainment. eta: my dd recently was married. they registered - ONLY because they got tired of people asking them what they needed/wanted. they really didn't have time to think about it. (dd is finishing grad school.) and really didn't have much on the registries. dsil put down nerf guns. . . . those were among the first things ordered off the registry. :lol: 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 dsil put down nerf guns. . . . those were among the first things ordered off the registry. :lol: My BIL registered for toilet paper because he thought it was funny. You can bet that was the first thing I bought off their registry. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 They are fairly common here. Usually for Pampered Chef. The way I've seen it work is that you can buy for yourself and you can buy off the bride's wish list. Plus the bride gets all of the hostess rewards. Usually, it is a shower given by a specific group, such as work friends, and not the bride's only shower. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 In my DH's and my ethnic culture, even giving gift cards is seen as a bit tacky. You know the "5 different love languages"? Gift-giving as a love language is VERY big in the Irish Catholic tradition. You're supposed to spend a lot of time choosing a thoughtful gift and giving the recipient cash or cash equivalent is like saying you don't care enough about the recipient to be bothered. I didn't say it was logical ;-) Thank you for explaining this. A few years ago, a female co-worker of my husband's called me at home (the only time she's ever done this) and asked, "Do you know what your husband is getting you for your birthday?" I didn't, but I realized I was about to find out. :) A gift card! She was irate because it wasn't "personal". I was thrilled because it meant I wouldn't have to return whatever he would have purchased. :) And I got to go shopping. Without the kids. :party: I couldn't understand why she was so upset. This is probably the reason. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I haven't heard of that kind of a bridal shower before. But, not much surprises me anymore! I'd probably just pick two items from the $8 category and call it a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I've never heard of combining a hosted show with a bridal shower. Hosted shows used to be common in my area, but not as part of a bridal shower. I would not feel bad about purchasing a gift elsewhere and forwarding it on. It's rude, imo, to say gifts must come from one place only even if a bride-to-be is registered someplace. Some ladies from my parents' church (that I attended from 11-18) threw me a Pampered Chef bridal shower 12 years ago. They did it as a surprise while I was still away at college, LOL. I thought it was odd but I guess all the attendees knew what they were getting into and I personally had not registered or been involved. I never feel obligated to buy from a registry. It's a GIFT, not a payment due. Registries should be for the convenience of others only IMO. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 the big difference is in order to attend the "Tupperware/pampered chef/et. al) party - you're expected to BUY from their saleslady. (who gets a commission) a registry at wal-mart et.al, you can buy off it, or do something completely different - even for a shower where the gifts are opened as part of the entertainment. eta: my dd recently was married. they registered - ONLY because they got tired of people asking them what they needed/wanted. they really didn't have time to think about it. (dd is finishing grad school.) and really didn't have much on the registries. dsil put down nerf guns. . . . those were among the first things ordered off the registry. :lol: Yes, that is part of the "themed" shower of this type -- you are expected to purchase from them. It doesn't really bother me. Maybe the bride wanted some pampered chef for her house. I know I'd love a PC one right now. I could use some of their rubber scrapers and some new stoneware. And that commission that I pay that saleslady probably put food on her table or paid for her child to take music lessons or some other thing. That gadget that I buy at Wal-Mart pads the CEO's pocketbook. I'd rather help the consultant out because I know that a lot of my friends do direct sales to help bring in money for their family. Help the bride, help the consultant, it's all good in my book. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 After so many bad bridal shower stories...I thought I would share mine - a great shower idea!! My best friend threw me a "Christmas in the Summer" bridal shower. She put up her artificial tree and made Christmas cookies. Everyone was informed that it was a Christmas themed party. I had been living independently a long time...but didn't have any nice Christmas tree decorations. So people brought ornaments as gifts. I LOVED it and every year when I put my tree up I get to remember each person who gave me an ornament or decoration. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 The only awkward part is that one person is benefiting from the sale of all the gifts...but I suppose only Macy's would benefit if you're registered there. Exactly. If you were invited to something without being told there would be products of some kind being sold, that would be tacky. But you know ahead of time that it's a *shower* for a *new bride,* who could surely use some kewl stuff for her new home. Why is it ok for Macy's to make money on the gifts you buy, but not ok for the Pampered Chef/Tupperware/whoever consultant to make money? (Of course, if she really pushed people to schedule parties or sign up, that might be different.) I've also heard of lingerie parties, and some sort of lotions or something that kind of embarrassed me when I was told about it. o_0 Give me Pampered Chef or Tupperware any day! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Exactly. If you were invited to something without being told there would be products of some kind being sold, that would be tacky. But you know ahead of time that it's a *shower* for a *new bride,* who could surely use some kewl stuff for her new home. Why is it ok for Macy's to make money on the gifts you buy, but not ok for the Pampered Chef/Tupperware/whoever consultant to make money? (Of course, if she really pushed people to schedule parties or sign up, that might be different.) I've also heard of lingerie parties, and some sort of lotions or something that kind of embarrassed me when I was told about it. o_0 Give me Pampered Chef or Tupperware any day! except - I dont' have to buy a gift from macy's (or target, or BBB, or amazon) even if the bride is registered there. (and usually don't. I also don't know anyone who feels *obligated* to buy off a registry.) however, when it's "the party", you're expected to buy from them. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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