Weight gain

[lewber]

I am officially my heaviest. My weight keeps creeping up. My big pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I must lose weight. It's starting to really depress me. Nothing I've tried in the last few years have helped enough to stick with long enough to make a difference. I counted calories for 3 months and lost 5 pounds at first and then nothing else. Tried whole 30 and again I lost at first and then nothing.

I know people always say you can't out exercise a bad diet but I think more exercise could help. I'm thinking about that 21 day fix I saw on an infomercial.

Anyway I guess I'm just venting. How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

[Only me]

I have no suggestions but can definitely relate. I was always on thin side until I hit 40. Then I started to gradually gain weight. Now I'm almost 49 and I'm on Presnisone for chronic pain and I've gained 10 pounds since Christmas. I'm heavier than I've ever been. None of my clothes fit and I hate the feeling of the tight clothing on areas that I've never had fat. I'm also trying to find a diet that works but I am ALWAYS hungry. I hate it.

[Slache]

When I realized my weight was hindering my efforts at being a good mother. I never would have been the mother I am now 100 pounds ago. I was always sick, always tired and it was just too hard. It's different now. I'm a different person. I can give you 100 good reasons to lose weight, but if you don't have one you believe in then you won't. In order to change the pain of change needs to be less than the pain of staying the same. How great is your pain?

[Slache]

I have no suggestions but can definitely relate. I was always on thin side until I hit 40. Then I started to gradually gain weight. Now I'm almost 49 and I'm on Presnisone for chronic pain and I've gained 10 pounds since Christmas. I'm heavier than I've ever been. None of my clothes fit and I hate the feeling of the tight clothing on areas that I've never had fat. I'm also trying to find a diet that works but I am ALWAYS hungry. I hate it.

I was never hungry on the grapefruit diet and it worked well. I can't do it now because I have chronic nausea but I highly recommend it.

[Free Indeed]

Trim Healthy Mama helped me when nothing else seemed to work.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I have no advice, but I'm right there with you. I was doing well and lost a few pounds but then had to travel, and that just totally K-Oed any progress I'd made. And since we've gotten back, we've all been sick, so I'm barely cooking (although also barely eating, I guess!). 

 

The only thing that works for me to is to eat low carb. Not really low carb/high fat, just eliminating grains/sugars/high-carb veggies, etc. When I eat mainly vegetables (lots!), meat, eggs, dairy, and a good amount of good fats, I have energy, feel less weighed down, don't have heartburn anymore, and just generally feel much better. 

 

Do you track what you eat? Start there. It's so easy to fool yourself about what you're putting in your mouth if you're not tracking. If I were you, I'd start there with MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople or some of the other good options. A basic pedometer or Fitbit might also help you to see how much (or how little!) exercise you're getting just from daily living.

 

HTH!

 

ETA: Also, it is sort of cheating, but in the past, taking some 5-HTP (which I took for other reasons, but this was a nice side effect) really put a HUGE damper on my carb cravings and hunger in general. When I was initially trying to break a carb addiction, that helped me over the hump. I've been told, but haven't tried it, that L-glutamine has a similar effect. 

 

And I've also been told (but haven't yet experienced it :lol:) that the more you exercise, the more energy you have for exercising, and that it's a positive cycle. So if you can force yourself through some exercise--even a little walking--for a week or so, you may find it gets easier. 

[lewber]

Yes I think you've hit it Slache. My pain must not be that great. I get embarrassed when I see myself in a mirror or a picture. I can't believe that's me. But so far, my health is fine, I can kind of still find cute clothes.

But in the last few weeks I've skipped a paddle boat ride because I didnt want to watch it sink and I've skipped a swing in case I broke it:) so it's getting in the way but I usually find a way to rationalize it instead of doing something about it.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Yes I think you've hit it Slache. My pain must not be that great. I get embarrassed when I see myself in a mirror or a picture. I can't believe that's me. But so far, my health is fine, I can kind of still find cute clothes.

But in the last few weeks I've skipped a paddle boat ride because I didnt want to watch it sink and I've skipped a swing in case I broke it:) so it's getting in the way but I usually find a way to rationalize it instead of doing something about it.

 

:grouphug:  Again, I'm right there with you.

[Slache]

Yes I think you've hit it Slache. My pain must not be that great. I get embarrassed when I see myself in a mirror or a picture. I can't believe that's me. But so far, my health is fine, I can kind of still find cute clothes.

But in the last few weeks I've skipped a paddle boat ride because I didnt want to watch it sink and I've skipped a swing in case I broke it:) so it's getting in the way but I usually find a way to rationalize it instead of doing something about it.

 

You could take a picture of yourself in a bikini and post it around the house. That would be painful. I like the Lose It app for food tracking, and Insanity for weight loss.

[Guest]

Big hugs. It's so hard, and I think the mojo waxes and wanes. I've been maintaining long enough to know that sometimes ite so effortless and other times its skin-of-my-teeth stressful.

 

For me, I do Atkins by the book if I want to lose fairly quickly. And I don't force fat, but neither do I skimp.

[alisoncooks]

I have had two periods of successfully losing weight (40 pounds) -- once before getting pregnant for the first time (major motivation!) and (after gaining it back) after my youngest was born.  Both times I tracked my food intake but I was not militant about it.  Both times I had healthier food habits (I didn't drink a ton of calories like I do now. :()

 

Anyway, I gained all that back over the last few years, plus 10-15 more pounds.  I'm at my heaviest and squishing into my most forgiving clothes.  I'm also at the point of wanting/needing to make a change.  

 

FWIW, 21 Day Fix looks pretty challenging.  If you are significantly overweight, you might want to look into more gentle workouts to begin?  (I know *I* couldn't do 21DF at my current weight -- and I have and do a lot of exercise videos.)  I'm a big fan of good, ol' walking.  I also really like the Powerfit Harmony set from Stephanie Huckabee (which can be found dirt cheap, used).  

[abacus2]

It is always a good idea to start with a medical check up. Test for diabetes (a1c), thyroid problems, vitamin D deficiency, and other things that cause weight gain and/or low energy.

[LucyStoner]

https://gokaleo.com

 

It's gotta be more than starvation dieting to last.

[LucyStoner]

And I've also been told (but haven't yet experienced it :lol:) that the more you exercise, the more energy you have for exercising, and that it's a positive cycle. So if you can force yourself through some exercise--even a little walking--for a week or so, you may find it gets easier.

Also exercise can positively affect food choices. People always say you can't outrun your fork. Well, when I am running, what I want to put on my fork looks a lot different than when I am sedentary.

 

If I am a couch potato I can live on cake. When I am active, I want my veggies and protein and fruit.

[Scarlett]

I am officially my heaviest. My weight keeps creeping up. My big pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I must lose weight. It's starting to really depress me. Nothing I've tried in the last few years have helped enough to stick with long enough to make a difference. I counted calories for 3 months and lost 5 pounds at first and then nothing else. Tried whole 30 and again I lost at first and then nothing.

I know people always say you can't out exercise a bad diet but I think more exercise could help. I'm thinking about that 21 day fix I saw on an infomercial.

Anyway I guess I'm just venting. How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

 

 

(((hugs))))

 

I haven't read the other replies so sorry if I repeat....

 

Disclaimer:  I am not really over weight.  I weigh about 142 and I'm 5'6".  But.  When I crept up close to 150 I was not happy.  

 

I have to get drastic in my mindset to lose weight.  I wouldn't say it is will power....but I pick a strict path and shut my mind off to food and drink.  The 17 day diet is what I've used recently but other things work for me like WW.....mainly I have to stop thinking about food as a pleasure.  

[Scarlett]

I read this quote once from someone who kept their weight under control....'I don't think about food until I am famished....and then I allow myself a bite of cheese.'  :)  Well, maybe extreme, but it reminds me that we really need very little food to maintain our bodies.

[Night Elf]

How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

 

My pants got tight and I was about to go shopping for a bigger size. I was not happy that I needed to adjust my wardrobe to accommodate my size when it was higher than it ever was. So I stepped on the scale and was horrified at the number staring back at me. FWIW, I tried losing weight twice before but never stuck with it. This last time was even worse than the other times, so I decided I would do whatever it took for me to get down to a weight I could feel comfortable with. And in the process of losing, I learned a new way of healthier eating. It's not always easy though. I certainly never want to give the impression that getting healthier was easy. However, it was certainly worth the effort.

[Slache]

 And in the process of losing, I learned a new way of healthier eating. It's not always easy though. I certainly never want to give the impression that getting healthier was easy. However, it was certainly worth the effort.

 

I so agree with this. I never would have imagined myself not only with the diet that I live on now, but loving the diet that I live on now. We definitely have pizza and soda on occasion, but the majority of our food budget goes to fresh fruits and veggies, good quality meat, grains etc.

[Ausmumof3]

I don't have much advice on weight loss. But if you can afford it buy yourself at least one outfit that you feel nice in and fits well. The mental boost will help in other ways and maybe even with losing weight. And when you've lost it you can say... I've lost weight and now some of my clothes are too big. (:

 

Seriously though I think it's important to have some clothes you feel good in whatever your weight.

[Ellie]

I am officially my heaviest. My weight keeps creeping up. My big pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I must lose weight. It's starting to really depress me. Nothing I've tried in the last few years have helped enough to stick with long enough to make a difference. I counted calories for 3 months and lost 5 pounds at first and then nothing else. Tried whole 30 and again I lost at first and then nothing.

I know people always say you can't out exercise a bad diet but I think more exercise could help. I'm thinking about that 21 day fix I saw on an infomercial.

Anyway I guess I'm just venting. How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

 

 

 

:grouphug:

 

I feel your pain. I have Hashimoto's (auto-immune disease low thyroid), and I believe I've been under-medicated for the last 20 years. I finally have an endocrinologist who listens to me, but it still takes a loooong time for the thyroid issues to completely heal. I still gain weight on 1000-1200 calories a day. ::head desk::

[LibraryLover]

Whatever ire I'll get...lol. Low carb. Not tons of meat (I do not eat a ton of meat), but low carb. Eat whatever real food you want that is not full of sugary carbs.  (But deny yourself nothing; have that bagel, pizza, or that pasta sometimes. Plan it. Enjoy it.)   I make giant salads, and add whatever I want to them: olives, cherry tomatoes, feta, garbanzo beans, chopped egg, anchovies etc.  Swirl on olive oil, salt, pepper, mustard, a little balsamic, lemon, or lime juice,  chopped parsely. It doesn't feel anything like deprivation. Counting points/calories takes away the joy of good food for me.

 

Avocados,  salmon/ other 'sustainable' fish (can of worms there), nuts & seeds, hummus, nut butters, liver, quiona,  rich chicken soup without rice or pasta, a really nice, modest piece of grilled meat, without a sugary marinade.  Think about how to make your comfort foods without sugar and simple carbs, but full of flavor.

 

Take a walk as many times a week as you can.  When you're sweeping, sweep hard, when you're dusting, squat and dust. Park as far from entrances as possible. Carry bags to the car.  Climb stairs if you can, as many as you can. Take two at a time when you feel a burst of energy.

 

 

Enjoy what you eat.  I'm not perfect, but I don't worry about my weight very often these days.  I know I won't ever be skinny, as that is not my body type. But I know I'm mostly on the right track.  Real food, lots of plants. :) Anything I want, but with thought. ;)

 

 

 

[mamaraby]

Fad diets never work in the long term. In fact, I'd argue that diets - temporary changes in what you eat in order to lose weight - don't work in the long term. In other words, don't pick something you can't live with for the rest of your life. There is no one diet that works and it's entirely possible to lose weight by eating the things some group somewhere says are the "problem."

 

I'd second Go Kaleo. I also like Doug Lisle (How to Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdqLB6bTuQ). For me, focusing on calorie density works better and is less stressful than counting calories (even though I am eating fewer calories in the end). So for me that's plenty of carbohydrates (starchy veggies, intact grains, beans, and plenty of other fruits and vegetables), meeting protein RDAs, and low to moderate fat intake.

 

Willpower is overrated and beside the point. Living your life satiated is far more important. Once I learned that, weight loss was far eaiser. I can do this for the long haul. That's what matters. Low carb would never work for me in the long term.

[ashfern]

:grouphug:  You'll know when it's time. I was making excuses too (I can't give up bread/pasta/rice, I don't have any medical issues, etc) but I'm way too heavy. I want to be around for my kids. I've been walking 2-2.5 miles for a long time but the weight just wouldn't budge. I started the 17 Day Diet last Mon. I'm down 9 lbs already. I've tried so many other diets and nothing worked. I borrowed the book from the library. You could do that, read it and see if it's something that appeals to you. Good luck!

[lewber]

You could take a picture of yourself in a bikini and post it around the house. That would be painful. I like the Lose It app for food tracking, and Insanity for weight loss.

[lewber]

This would be painful!

Thank you all for your replies. I'm not sure why it all has to be so hard. I am scheduled for bloodwork again. Last year my thyroid numbers were all on the slowest end of normal range. She did not recommend treating because really besides the weight I feel pretty good. My sugar numbers are borderline but all my other numbers are great. I really eat fairly well most of the time. But then I emotionally eat all at once. A bag of chips usually.

Low carb is a good starter for me. I am a good veggie eater on my good days. But my bad days must be too much for the good ones to overcome.

The 17 day diet does look promising. I have an important event exactly 17 days from tomorrow. Maybe it's meant to be.

[Scarlett]

Fad diets never work in the long term. In fact, I'd argue that diets - temporary changes in what you eat in order to lose weight - don't work in the long term. In other words, don't pick something you can't live with for the rest of your life. There is no one diet that works and it's entirely possible to lose weight by eating the things some group somewhere says are the "problem."

 

I'd second Go Kaleo. I also like Doug Lisle (How to Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdqLB6bTuQ). For me, focusing on calorie density works better and is less stressful than counting calories (even though I am eating fewer calories in the end). So for me that's plenty of carbohydrates (starchy veggies, intact grains, beans, and plenty of other fruits and vegetables), meeting protein RDAs, and low to moderate fat intake.

 

Willpower is overrated and beside the point. Living your life satiated is far more important. Once I learned that, weight loss was far eaiser. I can do this for the long haul. That's what matters. Low carb would never work for me in the long term.

I don't think low carb will work for me long term either. I just sometimes need a little rest when I get in the habit of eating too many chips, fried potatoes, etc.

[kiana]

This would be painful!

Thank you all for your replies. I'm not sure why it all has to be so hard. I am scheduled for bloodwork again. Last year my thyroid numbers were all on the slowest end of normal range. She did not recommend treating because really besides the weight I feel pretty good. My sugar numbers are borderline but all my other numbers are great. I really eat fairly well most of the time. But then I emotionally eat all at once. A bag of chips usually.

Low carb is a good starter for me. I am a good veggie eater on my good days. But my bad days must be too much for the good ones to overcome.

The 17 day diet does look promising. I have an important event exactly 17 days from tomorrow. Maybe it's meant to be.

 

re: emotional eating -- this is something that you've got to figure out how to get under control. Something else that's NOT food that you can do when you just feel miserable and want to eat everything in sight.

 

re: whole bag of chips -- I only buy chips in the single-serving bags now. If I really want one I go to the store and get one, but most of the time I decide I don't really want one.

 

re: good veggie eater -- it is totally possible to be an awesome veggie eater and still gain weight because of the rest of your diet. The veggies will totally contribute to your general health but, in and of themselves, will not cause weight loss. 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

re: emotional eating -- this is something that you've got to figure out how to get under control. Something else that's NOT food that you can do when you just feel miserable and want to eat everything in sight.

 

I suspect the problem for many of us is that there ISN'T anything else we can do when we're miserable that will help us feel better. At least, I sure haven't found it, and I've been looking for a long time! I don't knit, I can't read when I'm wound up, TV doesn't work, I can't have coffee and I don't like tea, one tiny square of delicious dark chocolate only makes me want mooooooore... 

[Night Elf]

I suspect the problem for many of us is that there ISN'T anything else we can do when we're miserable that will help us feel better. At least, I sure haven't found it, and I've been looking for a long time! I don't knit, I can't read when I'm wound up, TV doesn't work, I can't have coffee and I don't like tea, one tiny square of delicious dark chocolate only makes me want mooooooore... 

 

My therapist suggested I exercise. I tried to explain to her that I loathe exercise and it's most certainly the last thing I want to even think about when I'm down. Good grief!

[LucyStoner]

My therapist suggested I exercise. I tried to explain to her that I loathe exercise and it's most certainly the last thing I want to even think about when I'm down. Good grief!

Exercise can take lots of forms. I'm not much of a runner, but if I am on a good trail or kicking a ball, I'm happy. It's a fact that physical activity boosts your mood. The trick is finding something that isn't a chore, be that riding a bike or swimming or an adult dance class. When I am truly low, it's not easy to get moving but even ten minutes of walking can help.

[Night Elf]

Exercise can take lots of forms. I'm not much of a runner, but if I am on a good trail or kicking a ball, I'm happy. It's a fact that physical activity boosts your mood. The trick is finding something that isn't a chore, be that riding a bike or swimming or an adult dance class. When I am truly low, it's not easy to get moving but even ten minutes of walking can help.

 

See, I don't get a euphoric feeling from exerting myself. I actually feel quite irritable after any kind of workout. I exercised regularly for about 7 months one time and never got used to it. I would feel proud that I completed the workout but I most certainly didn't feel physically good after doing it. My DH doesn't understand that. He feels a great peace when he runs. It elevates his mood every time.

 

When I was trying to avoid emotional eating, I went shopping even if I didn't buy anything. I'm happy to just browse and feel good doing it. It's even better when one of my daughters goes with me. We always have a good time. If I was having a rough time at night, I'd take a long hot bath and read while in the tub. I love doing that.

[LucyStoner]

See, I don't get a euphoric feeling from exerting myself. I actually feel quite irritable after any kind of workout. I exercised regularly for about 7 months one time and never got used to it. I would feel proud that I completed the workout but I most certainly didn't feel physically good after doing it. My DH doesn't understand that. He feels a great peace when he runs. It elevates his mood every time.

 

 

I promise you there is probably something you would find fun. Just like extreme dieting isn't a good substitute for eating well, drudge type exercise isn't a good substitute for a hobby that is fun to you and active. I get zero happiness from running on a treadmll (though it can have a mood stabilizing affect). I get considerable happiness from roller skating. So I skate at a rink rather than run on a treadmill.

[kiana]

I suspect the problem for many of us is that there ISN'T anything else we can do when we're miserable that will help us feel better. At least, I sure haven't found it, and I've been looking for a long time! I don't knit, I can't read when I'm wound up, TV doesn't work, I can't have coffee and I don't like tea, one tiny square of delicious dark chocolate only makes me want mooooooore... 

 

Think outside the box -- punching bag with a face on it -- voodoo dolls -- (ok, I am being a little silly here).

 

More seriously, I do agree that it is very challenging to substitute, especially when eating has been the go-to for so long. Sometimes I still do end up chowing down. Not keeping the stuff in the house, so that I have to admit that I'm going to go to the store and buy an enormous bag of popcorn and eat it all, helps.

[kiana]

I promise you there is probably something you would find fun. Just like extreme dieting isn't a good substitute for eating well, drudge type exercise isn't a good substitute for a hobby that is fun to you and active. I get zero happiness from running on a treadmll (though it can have a mood stabilizing affect). I get considerable happiness from roller skating. So I skate at a rink rather than run on a treadmill.

 

Forget 0 happiness, I get negative happiness from treadmills and ellipticals. The only way I'd get back on one is large amounts of money :P

 

[Laura Corin]

See, I don't get a euphoric feeling from exerting myself. I actually feel quite irritable after any kind of workout. 

 

I hate gyms and swimming bores me.  I do walk regularly - for me it's the looking on green things that is as important as the walking itself.  And yes - I use it as a displacement activity when I fear mindless eating.

[mamaraby]

I don't think low carb will work for me long term either. I just sometimes need a little rest when I get in the habit of eating too many chips, fried potatoes, etc.

Personally, I'd rather find a way where I can either a) work those foods into my diet in a way that doesn't sabotage my greater efforts or b) be willing to go without the things I can't moderate.

 

For me, not eating fried foods as a general rule is something I can live with for the long term because they're incredibly calorie dense. Since I prize satiety pretty highly (and avoiding nausea hence no LCHF), I'd rather not have an ounce of chips (or an ounce of nuts) that won't trigger satiety. I'd rather eat something I can eat enough of to trigger my body's satiety mechanisms. Don't get me wrong, I might still have tortilla chips or chocolate chip cookies. It's just something I have as a treat with its implication of "the thing that happens rarely."

 

Not buying foods that I'll eat mindlessly is another. At my house we usually have ingredients that become something to eat down the road or fruits and veggies. A good rule of thumb for me is whether or not I'm hungry enough for those things. If an apple, some veggies, or making a meal of some sort doesn't sound good to me, then chances are I'm not that hungry. I'll do something else instead. I've also learned that sometimes a cup of tea or coffee is perfectly satisfying - particularly after dinner. Mostly I've found that by sticking to calorie density, I'm just not mindlessly hungry. I'm full. I've had enough to trigger both stretch and nutrient receptors so I don't want anything else.

 

I've lost 45lbs in 16 months while also improving my biometrics. I still have a ways to go and it isn't nearly as sexy as the diets that promise fast weight loss. The difference is, I'm still going and I can maintain both the pace and the weight I've lost. That's more than I can say for every other attempt including 6mos as LCHF three separate times, several attempts at Paleo/Primal/whatever, and a year or so counting calories in MFP.

 

We all have different goals. You have to do what works best for you.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I am officially my heaviest. My weight keeps creeping up. My big pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I must lose weight. It's starting to really depress me. Nothing I've tried in the last few years have helped enough to stick with long enough to make a difference. I counted calories for 3 months and lost 5 pounds at first and then nothing else. Tried whole 30 and again I lost at first and then nothing.

I know people always say you can't out exercise a bad diet but I think more exercise could help. I'm thinking about that 21 day fix I saw on an infomercial.

Anyway I guess I'm just venting. How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

 

I'm right there with you, AND I go to Weight Watchers almost every week. I get going occasionally and feel great but then it's not long before I stop making progress. I even exercise pretty consistently because I love a sweaty elliptical workout, which I suppose is helping to prevent my weight from going completely out of control, but little else. 

 

I've started looking for good books with a "tough love" message. Basically I want something that convinces me I just need to stop overeating. I've been reading this: Brain Over Binge. 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Brain-over-Binge-Conventional-Recovered/dp/0984481702

 

I don't even know that I'd call myself a binge eater but this book seems like it could be helpful. It basically says the thoughts to overeat are automatic, but as an enlightened being you can just choose to ignore the thoughts. It becomes easier to resist urges to overeat when you just decide a binge isn't going to happen. Just because you think of it doesn't mean you need to act on it. (Which is similar to a point in another well-respected book, the Beck Diet Solution). 

 

One thing I learned in Weight Watchers that I agree with is to get rid of the notion of willpower. That suggests you need this external force to succeed, and that makes it too easy to just say "Oh well, I guess I don't have the willpower, might as well eat what I want." 

 

As far as it clicking, I don't know. I used to think that was essential to it working, and I think that helped me a long time ago before I had all these people to take care of. At this point, I think I just need to see progress and that will be all I need to feel more motivated. 

 

Anyway, I clearly don't have the answers but these are some of my thoughts right now. I'd love to hear more ideas!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Personally, I'd rather find a way where I can either a) work those foods into my diet in a way that doesn't sabotage my greater efforts or b) be willing to go without the things I can't moderate.

 

For me, not eating fried foods as a general rule is something I can live with for the long term because they're incredibly calorie dense. Since I prize satiety pretty highly (and avoiding nausea hence no LCHF), I'd rather not have an ounce of chips (or an ounce of nuts) that won't trigger satiety. I'd rather eat something I can eat enough of to trigger my body's satiety mechanisms. Don't get me wrong, I might still have tortilla chips or chocolate chip cookies. It's just something I have as a treat with its implication of "the thing that happens rarely."

 

Not buying foods that I'll eat mindlessly is another. At my house we usually have ingredients that become something to eat down the road or fruits and veggies. A good rule of thumb for me is whether or not I'm hungry enough for those things. If an apple, some veggies, or making a meal of some sort doesn't sound good to me, then chances are I'm not that hungry. I'll do something else instead. I've also learned that sometimes a cup of tea or coffee is perfectly satisfying - particularly after dinner. Mostly I've found that by sticking to calorie density, I'm just not mindlessly hungry. I'm full. I've had enough to trigger both stretch and nutrient receptors so I don't want anything else.

 

I've lost 45lbs in 16 months while also improving my biometrics. I still have a ways to go and it isn't nearly as sexy as the diets that promise fast weight loss. The difference is, I'm still going and I can maintain both the pace and the weight I've lost. That's more than I can say for every other attempt including 6mos as LCHF three separate times, several attempts at Paleo/Primal/whatever, and a year or so counting calories in MFP.

 

We all have different goals. You have to do what works best for you.

 

This is very interesting. I'm a little confused. You mention that fried things are too calorie-dense, but then you say you're sticking to calorie density. Do you mean you aim to mainly eat things that are NOT calorie dense, so you can eat more of them? Can you tell me more about what you eat in your average day? 

[Ellie]

See, I don't get a euphoric feeling from exerting myself. I actually feel quite irritable after any kind of workout. I exercised regularly for about 7 months one time and never got used to it. I would feel proud that I completed the workout but I most certainly didn't feel physically good after doing it.

 

 

Nope, not me, either.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

My therapist suggested I exercise. I tried to explain to her that I loathe exercise and it's most certainly the last thing I want to even think about when I'm down. Good grief!

 

:lol: I feel the same way. I feel overheated and sweaty and cranky after exercise, and no one's allowed to talk to me for awhile!

 

I could see a hike/some time in nature working for me, but we're in the middle of the boring suburbs. I'd have to drive somewhere where I could be away enough from civilization to walk for more than a few minutes, and I can't exactly drop everything to do that during my hardest moments (when the kids have finally gone to bed, after emotional gymnastics with DD9, after a difficult school day, etc.). I really need to find something I can do at home. 

[butterflymommy]

I think its one of those things, you have to envision, and then know if you can envision it, you can do it, and doing it is as simple as eating less- a lot less. As someone else said, we really need very little food to maintain our bodies- at least "very little" compared to how most of america eats.

 

I love the message board low carb friends- they have lots of other diets there beyond low carb. Some women swear by up day/ down day where you partially fast for one day and then eat whatever you want the next day. This is probably closest to how humans evolved. It's really unnatural to have a constant, plentiful, calorie rich food supply. The body is very efficient at storing extra fat, but it is also very efficient at burning it off when deprived of food. 

 

Personally I've lost well with a VLC diet (800 or less a day) ... basically the hcg diet without hcg. I lost the weight quickly, kept it off, and had no ill side effects. However, I didn't do it longer than 6 weeks.

[kiana]

:lol: I feel the same way. I feel overheated and sweaty and cranky after exercise, and no one's allowed to talk to me for awhile!

 

I could see a hike/some time in nature working for me, but we're in the middle of the boring suburbs. I'd have to drive somewhere where I could be away enough from civilization to walk for more than a few minutes, and I can't exactly drop everything to do that during my hardest moments (when the kids have finally gone to bed, after emotional gymnastics with DD9, after a difficult school day, etc.). I really need to find something I can do at home. 

 

Anywhere nice like a walk around the block, or are you at all interested in a garden or anything else which is outside in the fresh air?

 

A hot bath with bubbles and a single small glass of wine? (this has the advantage that you really don't want to get back out of your nice tub to get more wine, at least for my friends who use it)

[lewber]

Evenings are hard for me. I'm tired and I want to have wine and cheese and crackers and wind down. Tonight I had Palegrino. Sometimes I have tea but it was too hot today.

Anyway I'm going to aim for the 17 day diet to hopefully get me back on track. It will get me started back in a better direction of more veggies and lean meats and just being more accountable to myself. Plus all the water. I know I hadn't been drinking enough water.

I walked my dog up the hills tonight so I got in the exercise today too.

Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions.

Good luck to everyone trying to improve their health!

[mamaraby]

This is very interesting. I'm a little confused. You mention that fried things are too calorie-dense, but then you say you're sticking to calorie density. Do you mean you aim to mainly eat things that are NOT calorie dense, so you can eat more of them? Can you tell me more about what you eat in your average day?

Correct. The less calorie dense it is, the more one can eat. On the lower end of the scale are things like vegetables, fruits, starchy vegetables, and intact grains. Moving up from there are lean proteins, low fat dairy, etc.

 

I'm close to what McDougal termed "starchivore," though my fat intake is higher so my calorie density is also higher and therefore my weight loss is slower, but again it's something I can stick with and sustain which is what's important. I could lose weight faster, but I wouldn't be as content and I sometimes like some peanut butter, olives, avocadoes, and smart balance on raisin toast.

 

So breakfast is always oatmeal (60-80g) with 1T flax seeds, and frozen fruit. I usually have strawberries and blueberries cuz that's what I like. Dh prefers a banana. My kids have raspberries and some brown sugar. I have a cup of decaf coffee.

 

I'm also vegan so lunch is probably a big salad and either some sort of intact grain (quinoa, rice, farro, bulgur, barley, etc) or a starchy veg (baked potatoes, oil free hashbrowns cooked in my waffle iron, sweet potato, baked potato wedges). I like chickpeas so I eat alot of those, but I sometimes switch it up with lentils or beans of any color. I might put hummus or an oil free salad dressing on top. Or leftovers. I like leftovers.

 

Dinner is varied because I get bored easy. I doubt we repeat more than three meals a month. Tonight I started with a big green salad and then had whole wheat pasta and spaghetti sauce. Later this week it's brown rice with broccoli, tempeh, and a tahini based sauce. Later this week we'll have baked "fish free cakes" made of potato, chickpeas, and nori plus a few other things I can't remember. I'll make a massaged kale salad to go with that and we'll have watermelon. Actually, we eat a lot of kale and collards as I try to serve one or the other three or four times a week. Fruit makes a good dessert (oranges, apples, melon, pineapple, mango, berries, grapes, frozen banana "ice cream").

 

Snacks? Tbh, I don't usually snack because I'm just not hungry owing to all the fiber. But I'll go for an apple or some air-popped popcorn if I'm hungry. I usually drink a cup of plant milk a day which bumps my RDa for calcium up to 100% and I take a B12 and vitamin d. Just for kicks I've tracked a day in Cronometer and I hit my RDAs for protein and micronutrients without trouble. I usually exceed the RDA for fiber.

 

Being vegan isn't required, but it helps me (plus I have ethical considerations that come into play). This brochure from the CDC includes meat/dairy with their examples and it's fairly close to how I structure meals - http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/nutrition/pdf/r2p_energy_density.pdf

 

This is what I use as my general guideline - http://www.forksoverknives.com/the-calorie-density-approach-to-nutrition-and-lifelong-weight-management/

 

I still eat bread and pasta, but I do limit my consumption - not because they're bad but because they're more calorie dense and easier for me to overeat. It'd be harder to eat as much intact wheat (farro, for example) as you could when it's ground up into flour. Likewise, it's easier to drink more apples as juice than it is to eat the equivalent in applesauce and even harder to eat the equivalent in actual apples.

 

In the end it's the same result as if I were calorie counting. I'm eating fewer calories than I'm burning. I know lots of people really like MFP and sites like it. I found MFP a pain because I don't repeat all that many meals and I don't buy pre-packaged stuff that already does the calculating for you. Entering recipes was the bane of my existence. This way, if I stick with foods that have lower calorie density, I can just eat to satiety. If I'm hungry, I eat.

[Joanne]

I am officially my heaviest. My weight keeps creeping up. My big pants are tight, I feel uncomfortable in my own body. I must lose weight. It's starting to really depress me. Nothing I've tried in the last few years have helped enough to stick with long enough to make a difference. I counted calories for 3 months and lost 5 pounds at first and then nothing else. Tried whole 30 and again I lost at first and then nothing.

I know people always say you can't out exercise a bad diet but I think more exercise could help. I'm thinking about that 21 day fix I saw on an infomercial.

Anyway I guess I'm just venting. How do I get the willpower? Does it come when you decide you are too heavy and need to fix it? What clicked when it finally worked for you?

 

{{Hugs}}

 

I am a clinically obese woman myself. I have been experiencing slow success since January, after many false starts, and many "tries" without success.

 

I have done a ton (no pun intended) of research on the topic. I believe that, in many cases, overweight is NOT a simple matter of "calories in, calories out".

But what does strike me in your content and tone is that you have not stuck with anything long enough to develop the habits of success. Your desire to use a "21 day" or see results in a Whole 30 (I am doing one now, I am very familiar) show short term thinking.

 

You need to think *long haul". It is also not about willpower, or strength. It's about habits and cognition (for example, giving up when discouraged by the scale.)

 

I've learned that if I lose an average of 1/2 pound a week, I will still lose 26 pounds this year. And, yes, my loss is indeed that slow.

 

 

[Laura Corin]

:lol: I feel the same way. I feel overheated and sweaty and cranky after exercise, and no one's allowed to talk to me for awhile!

 

I could see a hike/some time in nature working for me, but we're in the middle of the boring suburbs. I'd have to drive somewhere where I could be away enough from civilization to walk for more than a few minutes, and I can't exactly drop everything to do that during my hardest moments (when the kids have finally gone to bed, after emotional gymnastics with DD9, after a difficult school day, etc.). I really need to find something I can do at home. 

 

Does your boring suburb have sidewalks/quiet streets and front gardens/yards?  Although I live in the countryside now, I find that walking through suburbs is still good for my soul, even if I have to take loops.

[milovany]

What clicked for me, initially (this time around), was the doctor saying that my blood glucose level was elevated and she wanted to watch that. I was 46.5 then and at my highest weight. I'd also started having severe heartburn (enough to go to the emergency room one night thinking I was having a heart attack; I knew this was weight-related) and a knee issue (pain for which I had an MRI because I thought I had a torn meniscus; I didn't).   

 

I realized that I didn't want to go into middle/old age heavy, and diabetes has long been a fear, so I started moving more and eating less. Over the next several months, I dropped 20-22 pounds back to an upper ideal weight.  Over the last year I have maintained that even though I would have preferred to keep losing a bit more (I'm kicking into that final 10-15 pound loss right now -- and am in the middle of a "biggest loser contest with friends for which there's a $300+ prize, so that's motivating me!). Now that I'm "here" at a much better weight, I realize how much healthier and better I feel thin than heavy.  I also don't have heartburn or knee pain anymore. 

 

Practicals: Brisk walking (4.0 mph plus) is my favorite exercise but I also joined a gym a year ago for strength training. Right now my guided gym workout is 20 mins. of HIIT strength training.  I can do that for 20 mins. three times a week and be done with it.  I also created a stand-up desk for my computer (I work online) because of reading studies that showed even if you DO workout regularly, it's almost for naught if you're sitting most of the rest of the time. I don't love exercising, but I also don't love the idea of diabetes or heart disease taking me from my family earlier than necessary. Foodwise, ideal for me is to eat only when physically hungry and stopping when just satisfied (combined with intermittent fasting).

 

I've realized that I've spent 30 years fighting my weight and I'm tired of it.  I refuse to give in to it, to give up, so I'm trying hard to reach a point I've wanted to reach for a long time, while at the same time trying to not live solely for that future someday-maybe.  I'm trying to look at NOW and enjoy NOW. For example, my 17yo daughter is an awesome adventurous cook and she makes 95% of the meals for us.  I'm letting myself enjoy her food while doing so in moderation. She'll only be doing this for us for so much longer and I want to enjoy it while she's still living at home.  I also am telling myself "I'm going to the gym not to lose weight but to get strong," and I *am* stronger so living in that "now" as well.  I don't know if that makes sense. 

 

So what motivated me?  Wanting to be healthy for my family.  Not wanting to die of obesity-related disease.  Picturing myself as a healthy old lady, not a weak, sick one.  How I feel when I'm thinner keeps me going.  For some reasons catch phrases help me:  "Fit by fifty," "The easiest calories to burn are the ones you haven't eaten," "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." 

 

I hope you have been encouraged by this thread!  Best to you. 

 

[mom31257]

Blood glucose creeping up was what did it for me, too, milovany. I was at my highest non-pregnant weight a year ago January. I lost 30 pounds and have kept it off. I had to go off dairy 2.5 years before that, and I think I replaced it with more carbs and sugar. I was already overweight then, but it went up some after that. 

 

Here's what I did, and I walked 20-30 minutes occasionally. 

 

big glass of water when I first wake up (2 cups) (consistently still do this)

 

3 meals a day under an average of 20-25 carbs

 

1 snack mid-afternoon (nuts, fruit with nut butter, low carb treats)

 

tried to incorporate cinnamon into the foods somewhere several days a week (oatmeal, sprinkled on toast, sprinkled directly on half an apple, in a smoothie)

 

 

 

 

[73349]

Have you ever read Arnold Lobel's story about willpower? It's in one of the Frog and Toad books. The characters finally realize the way to stop eating too many cookies is to throw the cookies out to the birds. The way to fight temptation is not to have it around.

 

How old do you want to live to be? Rather than picturing yourself in a bikini, can you picture yourself at 85? What would you like to be doing? When I've needed to improve my habits, thinking about age 85 is inspiring. (Three of my grandparents died by 70. DS only has one living great-grandparent, whom he has only met twice because of distance, while at his age I had five.)

[Laurie4b]

What has always been the motivator for me is health and how much better I feel. I've skimmed the thread, and am just sharing what works for me:

 

I need to eat a lot of food and do not do well with limiting something that I love. So I went on what I called my "adding" diet (really a change in approach to food) and "added" in a lot of fruits and veges, aiming for 9 servings per day. "Adding" in 8 glasses of water  (including tea and coffee) is also important. When I am getting enough hydration and the nutrients that come through fruits and veges, any cravings seriously diminish. I also focus on enough high quality protein and monosaturated fats. So breakfast is an egg cooked with spinach and topped with avocado as well as a large bowl of oatmeal and 1 c of frozen blueberries/and or raspberries. Lunch is going to be heavy on veges, either leftovers from the night before or a salad or I buy a bag of nice mixed veges (from Trader Joes. I think it's called harvest veges) and cook those with a curry sauce.) Our dinners center around chicken, ground turkey, beans, or fish. (Trader Joe's sells pieces of cod for $3.99 lb, which is cheap for fish. We have fish tacos with a purple cabbage/iime juice slaw that is delicious.) I (not the rest of the family) eat sardines a couple time a week for the omega 3s.. I serve the family salmon as we can afford it.

 

I also do not buy things like whole bags of chips. I am not an emotional eater, but I am a taste eater (ooo! I love that taste. Let me have more. and more. and more) and I am a hunger eater. So if I haven't planned well and get home hungry, I will overeat whatever Is easy to lay my hands on. It is much easier for me to exercise choice at the store and not buy something than to exercise choice when I'm hungry.

 

I have a couple secret weapons food wise: I buy Trader Joe's organic dark chocolate. It is not a high enough quality chocolate to have that creamy texture that would keep me having "just one more piece" but it is enough that I get the satisfaction that comes for me when eating chocolate. In other words, I can get my chocolate fix and not worry about eating more than 1-3 squares. I also like kale chips and seaweed as substitutes for salty chips, etc. Trader Joe's sells both plain salted and wasabi flavored seaweed in snack packs. I buy those to have on hand for hunger eating, or if I know that there is a big game on or something and the family will want chips, I have my substitute. If I eat a whole pack of the seaweed (2 servings), I get 40% of my vitamin C, and 16% of Vitamin A for very few calories and I am FULL.

 

But for me, the real key is exercise. I don't think it's a matter of calories in/calories out. I've seen myself gain weight in a few days that is not possibly explained by consuming that many more calories.

 

What exercise does for me is make me feel really good.

 

If I exercise later in the afternoon or evening, I am not hungry and often will skip dinner. I was encouraged to play outside all the time as a child, my grandmother took me on lots of nature walks, and I was an athlete in school. All those things are in my favor. Being outside, by itself, helps mood, and mood helps weight. I try to catch 20 min of unsunscreened sun per day for my vit D and just because it is a mood enhancer. I CRAVE being outside in the green. There is a body of research that shows that walking in the woods does more for your body chemistry than walking in an urban setting. I imagine most suburban neighborhoods are closer to the woods experience. However, it is something that the trees release (some microbe) that is a feel-good thing. I do drive 15 minutes to hike in the woods by a river. But when I can't do that, I walk in our neighborhood.

 

I also really enjoy Zumba classes. The movement to music is very good for our emotions, connecting left to right brain in a way that helps us process emotional pain. zumba classes involve other people so there is the socializing element as well. You can search youtube and find some beginner Zumba routines.

 

Pilates is another activity that I like. The controlled movements and breathing are very relaxing, even as they build core muscles. I go to classes, but you can find lots of beginner routines on youtube.

 

A Fitbit is very helpful and I think is a good thing for someone who is not "into" exercise. I use it to mostly track background steps (the amount of walking I do just doing housework, grocery shopping, etc.) and I can make sure that I am not sitting too long at a time. (Being properly hydrated also guarantees I don't sit too long!) It is motivating to work towards 10,000 steps. I usually have to take a walk to get to 10,000 steps, but dh often gets there just doing outside work. I believe that I read somewhere that 6000 steps will help your knees even if you can't get to 10,000.

 

 Finally, I've added strength-training in --just a little at a time. I do it outside on my porch during my sun-catching time. (Will likely switch to inside come hot weather). I just do push-up modification, squats, and a plank for right now. I want to be strong as I age. Despite being an athlete when young, I could never do a full push up, though I could do knee push-ups. I can't do knee push-ups now, but have a progression that I am working on and have a goal of doing real push-ups by my next birthday. (I am currently doing them on an incline at my knee level. That is challenging.)