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(Controversial content) a letter to girls in the pew in front of us...


Joanne
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This. Considering that Mr M told their assembled friends and family, at their wedding, that Mrs M was physically "not his type" but that he fell in love with her because she was such a good Christian, I suspect that may have something to do with her need to emphasize what a good, modest Christian wife she is, as well as her fear of women dressing in a way that might inspire lustful thoughts in Mr M (and apparently it doesn't take much!).

 

Whaaaaat? How terribly disturbing and sad. :(

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If i was taught that every sexual feeling I had towards anyone but my spouse was evil and must be suppressed, I'd be ticked off at any hot guy who walked by with muscles showing. Luckily, I don't think that, and I can briefly appreciate the view in an unobtrusive way without anyone being ogled or shamed.

 

Feeling attracted towards attractive people is normal. Feeling sexual feelings towards attractive people is normal, even if (especially if) they are showing attractive bodies. One can appreciate it and enjoy it without acting on it or dwelling on it in any way. If a guy finds he is obsessing over a long period of time, then there are other issues.

 

My son, when he was about 13, asked me what a thong bathing suit was. I explained and told him they are more common in some other countries. He grinned and asked me when we can visit. Cracked me up. Both he and my husband treat women respectfully. They appreciate their minds, never ogle, and I have never caught my husband more than glancing at a beautiful woman in my presence (as it should be). I am a feminist, I married a feminist, and I'm raising my son and daughter to be feminists. But I know they notice and I know they appreciate and I don't worry about it at all. People can feel attracted and still treat each other respectfully and as more than just a nice booty in a pair of yoga pants.

 

It seems kind of sad to me to go through life struggling to suppress thoughts and feelings that are normal, can be briefly enjoyed, and then easily dismissed.

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The first question that came into my mind was, how did the OP even come across such a website? It seems all of this blogger's posts and all of her friends' posts are about this sort of thing. I did not even know there was a pocket of the internet like this. But, it's their prerogative.

 

Personally I appreciate modesty. Not because I am worried about men going astray, but because I personally feel women show self-respect when they choose to dress appropriately. I could see saying or hearing, among close people, "it was nice to see the young women dressing conservatively." I wouldn't have occasion to say this at my church, but I could see it in the context of, say, an awards show that didn't show off every celebrity woman's entire chest.

 

I would add that not every statement regarding modesty is "slut shaming" or "misogyny" or whatever. IMO we use those terms so freely that they pretty much don't mean anything any more.

I think the problem here is that there is a segment of the population, usually other women, who are NOT talking about dressing "appropriately".

 

In your own post you use several terms that are not actually interchangeable.

Modest

Conservative

Appropriate

 

You know what that means to YOU, but they are not all the same thing to everyone else.

 

It is one thing to say, "Oh she looked really lovely in that outfit." Or "That outfit did not compliment her very well." I think we all do that to some extent or another.

 

It is another to say in a condescending or pitying tone, various versions of "oh my, all those girls are not dressed appropriately for this occasion. They obviously have no self-respect, are seducers, or are leading men to hell."

 

This is especially true when one is complaining of many women or a majority of them. Frankly, when there are more women dressed a certain way than not, then what is appropriate is usually defined by the majority. One might not like it or feel uncomfortable wearing it themselves, but when in Rome, it is unreasonable to complain about all the togas, much less start pitching a fit that togas should be done away with in favor of some other attire.

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The blog post was probably inspired by the fact that there is a lot of pressure on young women to dress in a way that is too "sexy" for traditional churches.

 

 

There are women who dress a certain way because they feel it makes them more authentic. This does not bother me as long as it isn't patently inappropriate for the situation. But then there are many young women who dress not to please themselves, but to meet a standard set by others. If the standard is less conservative than what the young woman would independently choose for herself, then that is no better than a standard that oppressively conservative for that individual.

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I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this woman's husband thinks it's inappropriate to wear yoga pants TO THE GYM.

 

I'm not even going to think about his opinions on swimsuits at the beach, or my eyes may actually roll out of my head and across the floor...

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1. After church I realized I forgot to judge anyone the entire time.  Doh!

 

2. I also realized that the true fashion icon of this thread is She Who Wears Red Sweatpants and Striped Oxford Cloth Shirt Buttoned Up All the Way, Miranda Sings, seen here presenting some fashion tips:

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Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink

I also play the finger cymbals. This may work out better in the video if I'm dancing around with my furry midriff exposed and shaking my yoga-pants clad badonkadonk. Someone else can be lasciviously eating cupcakes while another band member plays a crockpot like it's a steel drum. It's important that this album send the right message!

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I also play the finger cymbals. This may work out better in the video if I'm dancing around with my furry midriff exposed and shaking my yoga-pants clad badonkadonk. Someone else can be lasciviously eating cupcakes while another band member plays a crockpot like it's a steel drum. It's important that this album send the right message!

Kilts?
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1. After church I realized I forgot to judge anyone the entire time. Doh!

 

2. I also realized that the true fashion icon of this thread is She Who Wears Red Sweatpants and Striped Oxford Cloth Shirt Buttoned Up All the Way, Miranda Sings, seen here presenting some fashion tips:

NO CAPES!

 

 

 

 

 

name that movie!

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I also play the finger cymbals. This may work out better in the video if I'm dancing around with my furry midriff exposed and shaking my yoga-pants clad badonkadonk. Someone else can be lasciviously eating cupcakes while another band member plays a crockpot like it's a steel drum. It's important that this album send the right message!

I can be blowing a tattoo with my empty bud bottle

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Best.ever.

 

As a mom of boys (now young men), perpetuating the idea that certain clothing worn by a woman diminishes their self-control, their intelligence and their accountability for their actions is insulting. I expect more.

 

As a mom of a young lady, the idea that she should be constantly vigilant in case some idiot judges her for wearing yoga pants (or running shorts, or her uniform tank top) is infuriating.

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

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I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat dreaming that the blogosphere had been available when I was 20. You know why that bit of so-called progress was delayed, don't you? The world wasn't ready for a twenty-year-old blogging Tibbie.

 

 

 

 

 

I feel the same way. I sounded a lot like her at that age. I'm now 180 degrees from her perspective now.

 

I want to crawl in a hole just thinking about it. How much worse if I had actually had a following and been promoting this to crazy numbers of people!

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This. Considering that Mr M told their assembled friends and family, at their wedding, that Mrs M was physically "not his type" but that he fell in love with her because she was such a good Christian, I suspect that may have something to do with her need to emphasize what a good, modest Christian wife she is, as well as her fear of women dressing in a way that might inspire lustful thoughts in Mr M (and apparently it doesn't take much!).

 

 

What the what?! Did she not see this in his character before marrying him? Did this not send up red flags? There are so many things she has said and things she's quoted him on that sends up red flags as someone I would never want my daughters marrying. Arrogant, potentially abusive, makes excuses for his thoughts and behaviour, cuts down his wife, etc.

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What the what?! Did she not see this in his character before marrying him? Did this not send up red flags? There are so many things she has said and things she's quoted him on that sends up red flags as someone I would never want my daughters marrying. Arrogant, potentially abusive, makes excuses for his thoughts and behaviour, cuts down his wife, etc.

 

He's a keeper!

 

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In the immortal words of a pastor friend of mine, "Why do you care what someone else is wearing?"  That's his official response to anyone who comments to him on what anyone else is wearing. It usually stops them dead in their tracks. 

 

If a woman had showed up to church in a bikini I'm willing to have a conversation about what is appropriate clothing at church.  Until then, I just. don't. care.

 

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Brazier...is a heater that usually holds coals. No one should be wearing one.

 

Brassiere is the long form of bra.

 

Brasserie is a restaurant where you might or might not wear a Brassiere.

 

:laugh:

 

You beat me to it!  I was hoping nobody was wearing a brazier. Not due to any modesty issues, just didn't want anyone to be burning their bazzooms. 

 

Burn your brassieres in the brazier, not your bazzooms. :leaving:

 

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check these out... no whorie buttons on the fly so they are perfect :D well, you can't show your midriff like that :p this is an example of proper yoga pants only!

 

 

 

Those sure as heck won't attract anyone!

Edited by Susan Wise Bauer
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If we wear kilts, it'll conceal too much of our yoga pants. We must have male backup dancers wearing them.

 

How the heck do you blow a tattoo???

 

Adding the shopping cart as an instrument is brilliant!

 

well, I meant a rhythmic beat.... but I suppose the word tattoo typically refers to beating on a drum, not using a bottle and blowing air across the opening  :gnorsi:

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This is what I get from POVs such as the one on that blog. I just don't even understand all the attention that is placed on what other women wear - to the gym, to the hardware store, to church, to the farmer's market - any of it. I mean, I notice when other women are dressed especially well and

I notice when other women are dressed spectacularly poorly, but aside from that, I just don't notice. Running shorts, yoga pants, tight jeans, loose jeans, skirts - any time others are just wearing "normal" clothes, I don't notice or care. I'm gonna go out on a limb and imagine my dh and my sons are about the same way.

 

i knew a woman who was very concerned about modest dress. She was constantly seeing all these "immodest clothes" where I just saw regular clothes. She was forever pointing out that this girl had on a tank top that showed her bra straps, that girl's shorts were too short, this girl's top showed cleavage when she bent over, etc. I never noticed any of these until she pointed them out. Guess it just proves that what you focus on expands. Personally, I would not prefer to focus on the idea that every woman is a potential lust display and every man is a bundle of barely-controlled sexual urges.

 

I take a twisted pride in the fact that the "tank top" one of my daughters wore for "modesty" under many completely fine-by-her-parents shirts was in fact a SPORTS BRA so while she may have been praised for her extra efforts in modesty, people were, in fact, seeing her actual bra!  :001_tt2:

 

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Modest: not too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities : not showing or feeling great or excessive pride

 

 

Those pants are definitely showing excessive pride!

 

Sometimes I think "modesty" is just a contest to see who can act the most self-righteous while appearing to be helpful to their fellow Christians. :glare:

 

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well, I meant a rhythmic beat.... but I suppose the word tattoo typically refers to beating on a drum, not using a bottle and blowing air across the opening :gnorsi:

I thought you were airbrushing body art on someone and I didn't understand where your bottle came into the picture.

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