(Controversial content) a letter to girls in the pew in front of us...

[Guest]

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

 

 

Really, I am totally on board the modest train.  She is on a completely different train that derailed and went off into the wilderness.

[Catwoman]

It's not my problem if her husband and his ilk are looking at my rear end while I do squats at the gym. It's just not. If that's a problem, you can leave the gym and work out in solitude at home.

It's such a crock when weakminded men like Mr. M blame women for their own inability to control themselves.

 

NOTE TO MR M: Hey buddy, if you're lusting after every woman you see wearing yoga pants, you've got a big problem, and it's neither the women nor the yoga pants. Seek professional help.

[Catwoman]

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

Have you read the rest of her blog posts?

[bolt.]

Two specific comments (sorry, not quoting well today)...

 

One thing: the combination of (natural beauty, slimness and youth) with (the ability to discern the dress expectations of a subculture)... Is not the same thing as putting one's relationship with God before anything. The concepts are vastly different.

 

Another thing: If the presence of an attractive member of the opposite sex is distracting, that's fair, but the distraction is in the *fact* that she is a person who is embodied with an attractive body. The distraction is not how she dresses -- it's in *who she is*. Making her attractiveness less obvious through strategic clothing is an option for her... but it is a pity to hear it implied that such obfuscation is the *only* ethical response to the misfortune of finding yourself attractive.

 

I think it's ok to be young and attractive. People should have to hide that aspect if themselves in order to be Christian (beyond the social norms of the society at-large).

[Little Nyssa]

Honestly, I thought it was a nice letter. No problem here with it.

[Catwoman]

So am I. I swim in capri tights and a long sleeve rashguard :-)

Sex kitten. :glare:

 

;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[Catwoman]

Men and women alike would lose their minds if I wore one single stitch less. I am extreeeeeeemely attractive.

If you're ever out in public in your yoga pants and you happen to see Mr M... RUN!!!!!!!!

[Catwoman]

The 'm' in mr m stands for "memsmorized by butts in yoga pants."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I wanted to like that, but I am out of likes again.

 

I'll bet Blogger Lady and her dh would have something to say about people who whore out their likes... :eek:

[LucyStoner]

So am I. I swim in capri tights and a long sleeve rashguard :-)

My most recently purchased swimsuit is below the knees to elbow coverage as well. There's even a little skirt attached to cover my tush.

 

That said I am motivated by SPF protection than by any affiliation with the modesty movement/patrol. I can't be alone, because Lands End can't keep the bottoms in stock.

 

http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-crop-legging-swim-cover-up/id_269396

 

I am very white and don't fair well in the sun.

[Joyofsixreboot]

She wasn't exactly kind to the man, either.

 

Methinks somebody could do with a bit of soul searching about judging others.

That was my first thought. Um, maybe concentrating on the log in your own eye would be a good idea.

[Moxie]

"The still present threat of remembering their image"--that of a woman working out in--gasp--workout attire.

 

Where are these pansy ass men from???

[Joyofsixreboot]

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

Actually, the whole praising kid behavior does irritate me. Are we assuming all kids are brats? If the kids are being crappy am I a worse mom than I was yesterday when they behaved? Why are these people even commenting on me and my kids? It's weird.

 

Oh, and while I'm venting ;). , let 'em look. I could care less if guys look. Why is that my problem! I just don't get the big deal. If you're a jerk who objectifies people my yoga pants won't make a difference.

[Arctic Bunny]

"The still present threat of remembering their image"--that of a woman working out in--gasp--workout attire.

 

Where are these pansy ass men from???

More importantly, where are they when I'm working out???

 

Oh wait... I don't.... But that is beside the point.

[T'smom]

If you're ever out in public in your yoga pants and you happen to see Mr M... RUN!!!!!!!!

I just can't help imagining a slow-mo Baywatch-type run along the beach, except in yoga pants instead of a swimsuit.

 

I don't think that would help Mr. M's lust!

[PrincessMommy]

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

 

I read it and my problem was the way her message was presented.  Very passive/aggressive..back-handed complement.  "I'm glad you don't dress like those *other* girls."   Honestly, It reminded me of a certain parable about a guy thanking God he wasn't like those sinners and tax collectors.  ;)     I can't speak for Joanne, but that's really what rubbed me the wrong way. 

 

And yes, sometimes when someone goes out of their way to *publicly* compliment someone what they're really doing is sending the "other" people a message.  Not always, but it does happen...and that's the way this piece comes across *to me*. 

[Murphy101]

I've said it before, I'll say it again.

 

I met dh at 16.

I have SEVEN sons, four of them are currently in their teens.

I'm very much not in denial or ignorance about how young men think about young women.

 

This crap ticks me off something fierce.

 

As much as her presumption of modest dress annoys me, her presumption about the character of men in general absolutely infuriates me. It's flat out insulting and wrong and propagates an attitude of fear of men that is not only baseless, but harmful to society in my opinion.

 

ETA: and to be fair, I don't think it's just a Christian problem. I've met plenty of non religious feminist man-haters. The only difference imnsho, is the "christian" version cloaks it in "they can't help it" nonsense. At it's heart though, it's just a different side of the same sentiment.

[HRAAB]

I've said it before, I'll say it again.

 

I met dh at 16.

I have SEVEN sons, four of them are currently in their teens.

I'm very much not in denial or ignorance about how young men think about young women.

 

This crap ticks me off something fierce.

 

As much as her presumption of modest dress annoys me, her presumption about the character of men in general absolutely infuriates me. It's flat out insulting and wrong and propagates an attitude of fear of men that is not only baseless, but harmful to society in my opinion.

 

ETA: and to be fair, I don't think it's just a Christian problem. I've met plenty of non religious feminist man-haters. The only difference imnsho, is the "christian" version cloaks it in "they can't help it" nonsense. At it's heart though, it's just a different side of the same sentiment.

 

It's times like this that I wish I had sons.  Then I would feel my replies would be more credible.  My dh has some choice comments for this kind of attitude.  

[Mrs Mungo]

btw, this tells me much about the people running the homeschool conventions that are bringing her in as a speaker.

WHAT? WHY? What would be the purpose?

[jewellsmommy]

And then there's this:

 

http://phyliciadelta.com/that-day-i-wore-yoga-pants-5-myths-about-modesty/

 

Yeah, :glare: that one really bothered me. There is a lot I would like to refute in that article, but it would only fall on deaf ears. Sigh. I'll just continue to fuss and argue at my computer screen instead. :lol:

 

 

But, I just have to point out:

 

“The more you cover up the more [a Christian man] will want you. Men like mystery, and when you reveal that mystery walking down the street, there is no reason for them to pursue you. They’ve already gotten their reward.†– Mr. M

 

 

Wait, wait, wait...I thought it was bad to make christian brothers "want" me. So then shouldn't I dress more provocative (you know...in yoga pants) so that the christian men don't want to pursue me?  :huh:

[MFG]

I think it's a good thing she and Mr. M. met and got married. Otherwise, two other perfectly nice people might have gotten stuck with them. And would we really have wished either of them on anyone we know?

 

I was thinking the same. Mr and Mrs M, a match made in...heaven.

 

 

It's not my problem if her husband and his ilk are looking at my rear end while I do squats at the gym. It's just not. If that's a problem, you can leave the gym and work out in solitude at home.

Why do I have a Nicki Minaj video playing in my brain?

[LucyStoner]

The fact that this thread has so many of such disparate world views agreeing wholeheartedly with each other speaks to just how distasteful elements of both her tone and content really are.

[Scrub Jay]

The fact that this thread has so many of such disparate world views agreeing wholeheartedly with each other speaks to just how distasteful elements of both her tone and content really are.

 

It's refreshing.

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

What?? She is a convention speaker?

[jewellsmommy]

What the heck?!? I can't believe anyone said this with a straight face:

 

"I like those pants. I like them because not only are they comfortable – as all yoga pants are – but I look trendy. I look like one of those suburban moms with a ponytail, pushing her children through the market in a twin-seat stroller. And I like that look, regardless of the consequences."

 

Wait a minute! The new object of lustful thoughts is some mom of toddlers who didn't have time to wash her hair or energy to choose something other than the daytime pajamas??? This is so many shades of crazy!

 

Right? Who knew. All these times I thought I looked bummish, I was actually one hot mama! :lol:

 

Dangit, that means I owe my dh a lot of apologies. All these years I thought he was lying when he would tell me how attractive I was in 'loungewear.' I was always like, "yeah right, honey." :001_rolleyes: I guess I just didn't realize my full power. :D

[mommaduck]

WHAT? WHY? What would be the purpose?

 

From her About page:

 

 

 

Over the years I’ve been a contributing writer to the e-zine Latitude821, contributed a chapter to The Femininity Handbook (a pamphlet compiled by my colleague Eric Novak at Typeset Design), and have had works featured in the Petoskey News Review, HSLDA.org, and TEACH Magazine. In 2008 and 2010 I spoke at INCH, the state homeschool convention of Michigan, and self-published my first devotional, A Torch and a Voice. My post on modesty, That Day I Wore Yoga Pants, has been featured on Churchleaders.org and Faithit.com and continues to be the top trending post on my blog. It is being published as an appendix in the Finnish book, Yhdessä eteenpäin (Moving Forward Together) in 2015. Another one of my top posts, Why I Don’t Take Hot as a Compliment, was the cover story for the fall 2014 edition of The Brink Magazine at Randall House Publications. Phylicia Delta was also nominated  for Forbes’ 100 Best Websites for Women 2014.

[LucyStoner]

Why do I have a Nicki Minaj video playing in my brain?

I assure you my rear end isn't half as interesting as Nicki Minaj's, which is rather unfortunate for any jerky dudes at the gym I guess.

 

Posts like hers remind me why my group exercise of choice is chicks-only 5:30am boot camps.

[HRAAB]

What?? She is a convention speaker?

 

She's only been married 6 mos., has no children, and is speaking at homeschooling conventions?  This just continues to prove my belief that homeschooling conventions are having less and less to do with actual homeschooling and more and more to with a particular brand of Christianity.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

From her About page:

 

 

:ohmy: If modesty is your brand, are you still modest?

[MFG]

I assure you my rear end isn't half as interesting as Nicki Minaj's, which is rather unfortunate for any jerky dudes at the gym I guess.

 

Posts like hers remind me why my group exercise of choice is chicks-only 5:30am boot camps.

Actually, when I read the first blog post I pictured Nicki Minaj sitting two pews up at church. Interesting juxtaposition.

[kitten18]

In 2008 she spoke at the state homeschool convention in Michigan. Wouldn't she have been about 18 years old?

[LucyStoner]

Maybe she is a homeschool alum? She's the right age for it.

[Arctic Bunny]

Another quote from "About the Author":

 

This year I traveled to five homeschool conventions, four of them through Teach Them Diligently, in locations such as Nashville, TN, Spartanburg, SC, Washington, D.C., and Dallas, TX. The final convention will be HEAV, the state homeschool convention of Virginia. I will be representing Liberty University, my alma mater and employer, at these events.

[Arctic Bunny]

From the "Teach them Diligently" site:

 

Masonheimer, Phylicia

Focuses: Homeschool to College, Locations: Nashville, TN | Spartanburg, SC | Washington, D.C. | Dallas, TX

Phylicia Masonheimer is a Liberty University Alum who grew up on the outskirts of the pretty bayside town of Petoskey, Michigan. Home schooled from first grade through high school graduation, she lived on a small farm with her parents and five younger siblings. Phylicia is no stranger to Homeschool conventions and is excited to be speaking at all 4 Teach them Diligently conferences this Spring.

[idnib]

 

 

My post on modesty, That Day I Wore Yoga Pants, has been featured on Churchleaders.org and Faithit.com and continues to be the top trending post on my blog.

 

I know I shouldn't laugh, but...

[FaithManor]

So to summarize:

 

Mr. M is a perv.

 

Mrs. M who is about as mature as a day old babe, thinks so highly of herself that she believes she is God's right hand in judging souls.

 

Uggos, short women with plain hair, and larger boned females are not desirable in church because the young men won't be attracted enough to come.

 

Yoga pants are a tool of the devil to ruin weak male minds, which means the males that run with Mr. M the perv.

 

Mr. M pervs even more when women wear garbage bags and monks robes because he gets off on fantasizing about what is underneath.

 

Mrs. M apparently is not concerned about Mr. Perv's aka her husband's very real misogynist tendencies and butt fettish because this is somehow every other females' problem, not his.

 

Mrs. M is narcissistic enough to WANT to go up to total strangers and touch them, touch their arms. CREEPY! Keep your hands to yourself.

 

The rules don't apply to her so she can wear a skin tight sleevless mermaid cut wedding gown and that's a okay.

 

Wow, she should apply for a job with Bill Gothard and company. They will love her to death! Maybe Mr.M should take over for b.g. because he seems to be a perfect fit.

 

GACK! I think I vomitted a little.

[Arctic Bunny]

And anything else we ever wanted to know:

 

http://www.linkedin. com/pub/phylicia-masonheimer/28/a06/270

 

Note the space between . and com

[*Lulu*]

So wait...being thankful and praising young ladies who have chosen to dress modestly is now "slut shaming?" Get real. So when someone comes up to children in public and compliments them on their manners...are they "brat shaming" other kids who act like holy terrors? How about we don't pick every thing apart, and assume motives of someone you don't know?

 

 

Here is the problem (okay one problem of MANY) she doesn't know those girls. She has no real basis for her assesment of the girls' spiritual condition. All she has are assumptions and we know what happens when you assume.....

 

Praising young ladies for dressing in a way that helps the poor, spiritually deficient, bad man misses the point.

 

Outer appearance is ZERO indicator of inner beauty.

 

Maybe she missed the verses that talk about clean on the outside cups and whitewashed tombs?

 

Maybe if she was more focused on her own plate she wouldn't have the time to congratulate other on putting what she likes on theirs.

 

 

[Murphy101]

Well of course she is a speaker at a convention.

 

Yet another reason I am no longer in any home school "support" groups and feel very little inclination to go to a convention.

[PrincessMommy]

She's only been married 6 mos., has no children, and is speaking at homeschooling conventions?  This just continues to prove my belief that homeschooling conventions are having less and less to do with actual homeschooling and more and more to with a particular brand of Christianity.

 

whoa!  Seriously??  That's a new low for hsing conventions.   What on earth does she think she'll be bringing to the table?   I'm embarrassed for her.

[Arctic Bunny]

I know I shouldn't laugh, but...

So if she has to update her page, we'll know what kind of power the hive wields!

[*Lulu*]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I wanted to like that, but I am out of likes again.

I'll bet Blogger Lady and her dh would have something to say about people who whore out their likes... :eek:

 

 

 

Oh I am quite sure he'd have no end of things to critique should he ever wander into our little hive!

 

 

 

 Of course we wanton women would surely send him running with all of these opinions and thoughts we have.

 

 

That and our awesome Happy Trampy Mommy Club tanks!

[Guest submarines]

She's only been married 6 mos., has no children, and is speaking at homeschooling conventions?  This just continues to prove my belief that homeschooling conventions are having less and less to do with actual homeschooling and more and more to with a particular brand of Christianity.

 

She was probably homeschooled.

 

But I wonder why the post on the yoga pants is so popular. And a top blog for women? Really?

 

ETA: but hey, for  24 year old she is quite successful. Good for her.

[FaithManor]

I swear "homeschool convention" is now code for "puritan revival" with ole Scottie Brown and Geoffrey Botkin stting around bemoaning the fact that our corrupt government won't allow them to burn a tatooed female at the stake. DP and company will of course be there in period garb to re-enact the Salem Witch Trials.

 

Sigh......

[LucyStoner]

I am not convinced she is a nasty person. I think she is just a very young person who doesn't necessarily have the gift (skill? habit?) of introspection.

 

She sounds very earnest and sincere and nothing but well intentioned.

 

She also sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. Probably finishing her degree (she apparently has an AA so far) and having some children of her own will help her see things in more than one light.

 

I am sure a lot of us regret some of the stridency of our own views at ages 18-24? Probably though most of us haven't preserved our wincingly over confident views on blogs plastered with our own "modest" faces. The pitfalls of living online.

[aggieamy]

I totally misread that article.  I thought it was sweet BECAUSE I thought the man who needed God was her teenage son who was having problems.  I thought he had probably been known to make uncharitable nasty remarks about women at church and those girls were so sweet and beautiful and nice to her and HIM (because you know, her son would be sitting right next to her) that even her JERK woman-hating son couldn't find anything negative to say.  

 

Basically I read it as thanks for being nice to that little sh*t of a son I have.  

 

:blink:

 

Obviously I mis-read the article and am going to go back and re-read it.  

[LucyStoner]

I swear "homeschool convention" is now code for "puritan revival" with ole Scottie Brown and Geoffrey Botkin stting around bemoaning the fact that our corrupt government won't allow them to burn a tatooed female at the stake. DP and company will of course be there in period garb to re-enact the Salem Witch Trials.

 

Sigh......

I would so go to that just for the anthropology laboratory elements of it.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am not convinced she is a nasty person. I think she is just a very young person who doesn't necessarily have the gift (skill? habit?) of introspection.

 

She sounds very earnest and sincere and nothing but well intentioned.

 

She also sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. Probably finishing her degree (she apparently has an AA so far) and having some children of her own will help her see things in more than one light.

 

I am sure a lot of us regret some of the stridency of our own views at ages 18-24? Probably though most of us haven't preserved our wincingly over confident views on blogs plastered with our own "modest" faces. The pitfalls of living online.

 

I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat dreaming that the blogosphere had been available when I was 20. You know why that bit of so-called progress was delayed, don't you? The world wasn't ready for a twenty-year-old blogging Tibbie.

 

 

 

[aggieamy]

I think Mr. M might be the man she's having an affair with?!?!  

[FaithManor]

Oh yes, what fun!!!! The Happy Trampy Mommy Club! Good times, good times.

 

As for the topic, I went off on a modesty police trooper the other day when she told me she was livid with a woman at her husband's place of work. He is the day manager of the milk parlor at an organic dairy. The female in qjestion is a woman who milks. The barn is hot, the work is hard. She wore a sleeveless wesern shirt to work.

 

Modesty trooper was having a fit because her poor hubby could hardly work because of this trollop's (her word, not mine) clothing choice. She said her husband was so distracted that he made some errors in his paperwork and got in trouble. I told her that if her husband was so freaked about a sleeveless top that he couldn't work, he needs processional help and not to let childen near until he had seen the psychiatrist! I am now on her naughty list.

 

I have zero patience for this crap!

[aggieamy]

Oh yes, what fun!!!! The Happy Trampy Mommy Club! Good times, good times.

 

As for the topic, I went off on a modesty police trooper the other day when she told me she was livid with a woman at her husband's place of work. He is the day manager of the milk parlor at an organic dairy. The female in qjestion is a woman who milks. The barn is hot, the work is hard. She wore a sleeveless wesern shirt to work.

 

Modesty trooper was having a fit because her poor hubby could hardly work because of this trollop's (her word, not mine) clothing choice. She said her husband was so distracted that he made some errors in his paperwork and got in trouble. I told her that if her husband was so freaked about a sleeveless top that he couldn't work, he needs processional help and not to let childen near until he had seen the psychiatrist! I am now on her naughty list.

 

I have zero patience for this crap!

 

I just don't get this.  My husband is as red-blooded as the next man and he wouldn't bat an eye at a woman in sleeveless top.  Let alone be so distracted he would dwell on it while trying to work.  Now the gal that wore the skintight leopard print mini-skirt with 4" red high heels to Mass on Christmas ... well that got his attention.  He kept pinching my arm and nodding in her direction so I couldn't miss it either.