(Controversial content) a letter to girls in the pew in front of us...

[*Lulu*]

I should have had coffee BEFORE reading this.

My favorite part is the "diagram of dirty dirty fruit reproductive action".

 

I didn't see the guanabana anywhere in the post- I wonder what kind of sneaky fruit it is?

[Mrs Mungo]

Wow.  Guiness AND Jameson?  In one cupcake?

 

:cheers2:

 

I guess I'm an amateur.

Also, Bailey's. Here is the recipe (again, just in case you missed it, lol):

http://www.seebrookecook.com/2011/11/irish-car-bomb-cupcakes.html

 

They are delicious in spite of the insensitive name.

[Mrs Mungo]

I always thought it was a bit backwards. The obvious is, of course, that there is no reason whatsoever for a man to be chided for having and enjoying TeA with his wife.

Then I thought, 'wait... Wouldn't he be thinking about it MORE if he hadn't enjoyed the TeA the night before?'

It is really backwards, I agree. Sorry, can't stick around for chit-chat after church, we need to go straight home for a "nap."

[*Lulu*]

So should we add to the One Step Closer to Whoredom lineup-

 

I take my teA with Gaunabana Baby

 

Prickles don't make you a Prude

 

Dirty dirty Fruit Reproduction

 

Avocado Seduction

[Mrs Mungo]

And for the record, I have never, EVER got the impression that one piece swimsuits were needed to prevent girls from being pantsed. Never. It's always "girls need a modest swimsuit" sometimes one-pieces are required, sometimes rash guards or t-shirts (which, I agree does more to emphasize than conceal). I just did a search for the word "modest" in my email in box, since I have teen girls who attend activities. I have 20 emails containing the word "modest," 15 of those include specific instructions to girls about swimsuit attire, short length, bra straps and/or cleavage. This isn't just the mindset of some random blogger. It's a mindset that is prevalent in the circles many of us navigate every day.

[GailV]

Just home from the grocery store where dd found an avocado peeler/slicer in the clearance bin. I was appalled - who puts those sorts of "toys" out where children can find them and ask questions?

 

Oh, but now I see that the avocados are okay, and I must become vigilant about gaunabana. How am I supposed to keep up with what I'm supposed to be upset about? Could someone send a daily bulletin?

[*Lulu*]

Just home from the grocery store where dd found an avocado peeler/slicer in the clearance bin. I was appalled - who puts those sorts of "toys" out where children can find them and ask questions?

 

Oh, but now I see that the avocados are okay, and I must become vigilant about gaunabana. How am I supposed to keep up with what I'm supposed to be upset about? Could someone send a daily bulletin?

Whatever you do- don't allow the grocery circulars to fall into the hands of your young children.

 

You might as well give them access to Penthouse, the Victoria Secret Catalog, or *gasp* the Yoga magazine!

[PeacefulChaos]

I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but that green suit (I am not going back through all the pages to find it, sorry!) is not an avocado. See the prickly things? Avocados don't have those.

 

I would say it's more like this...see the second photo down. Something called a guanabana. Too bad for all you guacamole lovers.

 

http://www.bumsonwheels.com/2010/11/thors-hammer.html

 

Guanabana. 

Dude, that is SO fun to say.

Guanabana.  Guanabana.  Guanabana.

Less fun to type - but fun in my head to say, at least.

[*Lulu*]

Guanabana.

Dude, that is SO fun to say.

Guanabana. Guanabana. Guanabana.

Less fun to type - but fun in my head to say, at least.

I started giggling saying it in my head.

 

The kids wanted to know what was so funny but I am refusing to tell them.

 

All I need is one of them to say it while we are in public......

 

We might get booted from another homeschool group for my kids being lewd.

 

Or their mom being unbalanced when she laughs uncontrollably when people say guacamole!

[Scrub Jay]

Guanabana sounds almost as naughty as guacamole!

 

"So, you wanna guanabana??"

 

"Not until you put a ring on it, bucko!"

 

[Sobeknofret]

My son and I are both competitive swimmers. This year alone, I have had a cousin reprimand me for letting him swim on a team with girls, because they wear "immodest" suits, and besides "mixed bathing" is sinful anyway, never mind the suits; someone else reprimanded me for letting him wear tight swim jammers (a men's mid-thigh/knee length swim suit) because it is immodest, and loose trunks were just fine for *her* kids (non-competitive swimmers), so I should make him wear those instead; someone who visibly shuddered with horror when I announced that I won two medals at the state games, and asked how I could be so immodest as to swim in front of a crowd of men in a swimsuit (all I cared about was beating the woman in the lane to my right- she won by a huge margin anyway :) ); and at least two more such incidents *all by different people*! The common theme was immodesty and sexual impropriety. My son is nearly 11; his only thought about the girls on the team in their "immodest" suits that were surely going to "defraud" him, was if they were fast enough to help win the mixed medley relay and if he could find one who was willing to swim anchor on the relays! I was floored by the very idea that these people somehow thought that they should be allowed to dictate to me what was modest/immodest, and that somehow we were responsible for the thoughts of others. Outside of the pool, I'm a pretty conservative dresser naturally, and I prefer to be a bit more covered than many people, but what others wear is none of my business, and I've got no business judging them regardless.

 

Someone also mentioned someone getting huffy about a man wearing overalls to church. At my grandfather's funeral, nearly every adult male wore cowboy boots and jeans, which, since they were cowboys/ranchers/farmers, was totally appropriate and IMHO, was completely respectful. I also had to laugh because many of the men had clearly pressed and creased their Levi's before attending the service! Talk about respect! I suspect both God and my grandfather were completely satisfied with them.

[Sobeknofret]

And in honor of this thread, I shall pour myself into a tight, immodest swimsuit (albeit, one-piece), and my sexy, sexy, tight black latex...swim cap (what did you think I was going to say, you pervs?! ;) ), and try to defraud the people at the evening swim aerobics with my hot lap swimming.

[*Lulu*]

Just don't wear yoga pants too and from and you will be okay.

[RegularMom]

So should we add to the One Step Closer to Whoredom lineup-

 

I take my teA with Gaunabana Baby

 

Prickles don't make you a Prude

 

Dirty dirty Fruit Reproduction

 

Avocado Seduction

 

So, I was a bit under the weather yesterday and lost track of this thread, and I come back to catch up... and I'm all: whoa... what did I miss???? Lol....

[Amira]

Guanabana!  I ate one, the fruit, a few months ago because I couldn't pass it up in the market when they told me the name.  They have lots of annoying seeds. And now I can think of other things when I see them again. :)

[Catwoman]

So, I was a bit under the weather yesterday and lost track of this thread, and I come back to catch up... and I'm all: whoa... what did I miss???? Lol....

Go get caught up. We'll wait for you.

 

But don't take all night. ;)

[PeacefulChaos]

Okay Idk why I just thought of this... probably because I'm bored... but you know, the chick is anti-yoga pant, right?  Or her husband is.  Or whatev.

Now I'm not gonna lie, DH is a fan of my yoga pants.  But at least with those I wear a tshirt or something not fitted on top.  

The other day I went and tried on a dress that looked sort of like this (but was actually a dress, not separates):

 

 

And. OH.MY.GOSH.  The Backside.  I turned around and looked in the mirror and I literally burst out laughing.  The only thing I could think was, 'Holy S$!  Does my a$$ ALWAYS look like that!?  Good Lord!  I really should use this to my advantage more often!'  Seriously.  I almost texted DH a picture like, 'IS THIS WHAT MY BUTT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE?!?!'  But I couldn't get one that captured the major booty going on.

 

Anyway.  That was random.  But all that to say, yoga pants are, by far, not the most curve hugging thing out there.   :lol: :lol:

 

Edited September 10, 2014 by Susan Wise Bauer
Photo removed

[Mrs Mungo]

For the record, the internet keeps offering to sell me yoga pants now. Thanks a lot, guys.

[Guest]

Okay Idk why I just thought of this... probably because I'm bored... but you know, the chick is anti-yoga pant, right? Or her husband is. Or whatev.

Now I'm not gonna lie, DH is a fan of my yoga pants. But at least with those I wear a tshirt or something not fitted on top.

The other day I went and tried on a dress that looked sort of like this (but was actually a dress, not separates):

 

 

And. OH.MY.GOSH. The Backside. I turned around and looked in the mirror and I literally burst out laughing. The only thing I could think was, 'Holy S$! Does my a$$ ALWAYS look like that!? Good Lord! I really should use this to my advantage more often!' Seriously. I almost texted DH a picture like, 'IS THIS WHAT MY BUTT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE?!?!' But I couldn't get one that captured the major booty going on.

 

Anyway. That was random. But all that to say, yoga pants are, by far, not the most curve hugging thing out there. :lol: :lol:

 

 

This made my day!

 

I remember one time I caught up with a mom friend who was at the time wearing a pink velour track suit. On the face of it, I thought, "pink velour? What is this, 1985?" But when she walked away, her a$$ was like, "BAM," and I thought, "Wow! That is one helluva track suit!"

 

I doubt she knew.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Susan Wise Bauer
Photo removed

[elegantlion]

For the record, the internet keeps offering to sell me yoga pants now. Thanks a lot, guys.

 

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

I had been shopping for underwear for ds the day before this thread. I've been dying while reading this thread, because men in briefs keep following me around the Internet. 

[Rebel Yell]

And for the record, I have never, EVER got the impression that one piece swimsuits were needed to prevent girls from being pantsed. Never. It's always "girls need a modest swimsuit" sometimes one-pieces are required, sometimes rash guards or t-shirts (which, I agree does more to emphasize than conceal). I just did a search for the word "modest" in my email in box, since I have teen girls who attend activities. I have 20 emails containing the word "modest," 15 of those include specific instructions to girls about swimsuit attire, short length, bra straps and/or cleavage. This isn't just the mindset of some random blogger. It's a mindset that is prevalent in the circles many of us navigate every day.

 

I was going to "like" this, but I don't "like it like it"..  what I really mean is :iagree:

 

:grouphug:

[Rebel Yell]

And in honor of this thread, I shall pour myself into a tight, immodest swimsuit (albeit, one-piece), and my sexy, sexy, tight black latex...swim cap (what did you think I was going to say, you pervs?! ;) ), and try to defraud the people at the evening swim aerobics with my hot lap swimming.

 

I must have a horriffically dirty mind. That sounds so much worse than a l@p dance. :leaving:

 

And by "worse" I'm not judging... Could be "better" to some people. :svengo:

 

[Rebel Yell]

My son and I are both competitive swimmers. This year alone, I have had a cousin reprimand me for letting him swim on a team with girls, because they wear "immodest" suits, and besides "mixed bathing" is sinful anyway, never mind the suits; someone else reprimanded me for letting him wear tight swim jammers (a men's mid-thigh/knee length swim suit) because it is immodest, and loose trunks were just fine for *her* kids (non-competitive swimmers), so I should make him wear those instead; someone who visibly shuddered with horror when I announced that I won two medals at the state games, and asked how I could be so immodest as to swim in front of a crowd of men in a swimsuit (all I cared about was beating the woman in the lane to my right- she won by a huge margin anyway :) ); and at least two more such incidents *all by different people*! The common theme was immodesty and sexual impropriety. My son is nearly 11; his only thought about the girls on the team in their "immodest" suits that were surely going to "defraud" him, was if they were fast enough to help win the mixed medley relay and if he could find one who was willing to swim anchor on the relays! I was floored by the very idea that these people somehow thought that they should be allowed to dictate to me what was modest/immodest, and that somehow we were responsible for the thoughts of others. Outside of the pool, I'm a pretty conservative dresser naturally, and I prefer to be a bit more covered than many people, but what others wear is none of my business, and I've got no business judging them regardless.

 

Someone also mentioned someone getting huffy about a man wearing overalls to church. At my grandfather's funeral, nearly every adult male wore cowboy boots and jeans, which, since they were cowboys/ranchers/farmers, was totally appropriate and IMHO, was completely respectful. I also had to laugh because many of the men had clearly pressed and creased their Levi's before attending the service! Talk about respect! I suspect both God and my grandfather were completely satisfied with them.

 

:svengo: :001_rolleyes:  to the people telling your child how to dress when he swims.

 

:hurray:  to you on the medal!

 

And :grouphug:  about your grandfather- even if it was many years ago, I bet he's still missed. I've known many men like him and his friends. I'd love to be a fly on the wall if some "preacher man" ever dared tell them to not wear their Levis or overalls to church. :lol:

[Tammi K]

I feel need to post this:

 

http://www.schrodingerskitten.co.uk/articles/fruit-lies.html

 

Warning- some language that may offend.

 

That was funny!  (And I learned something new.)

 

[GailV]

I feel need to post this:

 

http://www.schrodingerskitten.co.uk/articles/fruit-lies.html

 

Warning- some language that may offend.

This was stuff we covered in horticulture classes way back when, but it wasn't nearly as entertaining back then. Of course, that was back when we wore jeans and tshirts to class. Nowadays profs have to entertain more, what with all those coed hussies showing up to class in yoga pants ... putting the "whore" in "horticulture", amirite?

[*Lulu*]

This was stuff we covered in horticulture classes way back when, but it wasn't nearly as entertaining back then. Of course, that was back when we wore jeans and tshirts to class. Nowadays profs have to entertain more, what with all those coed hussies showing up to class in yoga pants ... putting the "whore" in "horticulture", amirite?

Who knew agriculture was dirty in a way that didn't involve, you know, dirt?

[Truscifi]

Guanabana!  I ate one, the fruit, a few months ago because I couldn't pass it up in the market when they told me the name.  They have lots of annoying seeds. And now I can think of other things when I see them again. :)

 

True. But they are sooooo juicy!  :w00t:

 

At least the one I ate that one time 20 years ago was. 

[KungFuPanda]

It is really backwards, I agree. Sorry, can't stick around for chit-chat after church, we need to go straight home for a "nap."

.

 

Who thought a man would be more focused after skipping an extra night? Maybe they got it confused with boxing? Didn't they abstain to make them more aggressive? Or was that a myth?

 

 

  

And for the record, I have never, EVER got the impression that one piece swimsuits were needed to prevent girls from being pantsed. Never. It's always "girls need a modest swimsuit" sometimes one-pieces are required, sometimes rash guards or t-shirts (which, I agree does more to emphasize than conceal). I just did a search for the word "modest" in my email in box, since I have teen girls who attend activities. I have 20 emails containing the word "modest," 15 of those include specific instructions to girls about swimsuit attire, short length, bra straps and/or cleavage. This isn't just the mindset of some random blogger. It's a mindset that is prevalent in the circles many of us navigate every day.

  

 

I did the same thing after reading this post. The ONLY emails I got concerning modesty were WTM alerts; mainly from this thread? 😂

 

 

And. OH.MY.GOSH.  The Backside.  I turned around and looked in the mirror and I literally burst out laughing.  The only thing I could think was, 'Holy S$!  Does my a$$ ALWAYS look like that!?  Good Lord!  I really should use this to my advantage more often!'  Seriously.  I almost texted DH a picture like, 'IS THIS WHAT MY BUTT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE?!?!'  But I couldn't get one that captured the major booty going on.

 

Anyway.  That was random.  But all that to say, yoga pants are, by far, not the most curve hugging thing out there.   :lol: :lol:

 

 

I own bellydance skirts and dresses that have extra beads, sequins, coins, etc on the backside just to pick up every last shimmy. They're shiny and fabulous. With great booty comes great responsibility.

 

 

 

True. But they are sooooo juicy!  :w00t:

 

At least the one I ate that one time 20 years ago was. 

Did this happen at band camp?

 

 

 

 

 

Does anyone know how we go about pre-ordering this album??????

[Rebel Yell]

<snipped>

 

I own bellydance skirts and dresses that have extra beads, sequins, coins, etc on the backside just to pick up every last shimmy. They're shiny and fabulous. With great booty comes great responsibility.

 

:hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :lol: :smilielol5: :thumbup: :rofl: :party:

 

[RegularMom]

With great booty comes great responsibility.

 

 

:smilielol5:

 

Okay... I'm all caught up now. 

 

This quote pretty much says it all. 

 

:smilielol5:

[PeacefulChaos]

.

 

 

With great booty comes great responsibility.

 

 

This quote needs to be in my signature.  Awesome.  :D :D

[KungFuPanda]

This quote needs to be in my signature.  Awesome.  :D :D

That's fair. I absolutely stole the words above my photo from someone else on this thread. I didn't even ask . . . just took it.

[mommaduck]

Regarding men and Levi's in church. My husband wears jeans to church. We're talking a church where most of the parishes everyone dresses nice. He wears his "good jeans". They are either black or dark blue. He wears them with a button down shirt (he HATES button down shirts and will wear a t-shirt underneath so he can rip that nice shirt off once we are back in the car). He hates ties. They don't look right on him anymore and he refuses to wear them. He's a blue collar worker and I don't remember the last time he owned a suit that fit, sometime when our oldest children were little). We can't afford a suit and he doesn't like them. I think he looks nice, respectful, and appropriate to our life in his nice jeans, work boots (the only footwear he owns other than flipflops for the beach), and his really nice button down shirts (actually, he looks really handsome this way...it suits his bald head and long goatee).