How Badly would this freak you out?

[Liza Q]

Some background - My 2nd daughter is 21.

 

When she was a senior in High School, she planned a trip to Germany (she was taking her third year of German) with 2 friends and they went a few months after she turned 18. When she was 20, she and one of those friends went to Austria and Switzerland. This friend has traveled a great deal - to India, China, Iceland, etc. We've know her since she was 6 (she was homeschooled through the 8th grade and went to our church - her parents are great people) and she, like my daughter, is responsible and not a partier.

 

In 2 weeks my daughter is going to Germany for a month with a school program, as she is majoring in German. She has been talking about where she should go next year and I think it is great!

 

But. Yesterday she called me from her friend's house and told me that they have decided to go to Cartagena, Colombia in September, during her Rosh Hashana school break. First I thought of Joan Wilder and then of Natalee Holloway and my brain exploded a bit. Then I told my husband and...I think his brain exploded a bit more, as he is always thinking of Taken, ifywim.

 

I floated a few alternatives - 1. Go to Puerto Rico - San Juan is similar and lovely, I have family all over who can take them sightseeing and translate, even if they want to stay in a hotel. 2. Go to Peru instead - save for a bigger trip next year and do Machu Pichu. 3. Wait till next year and get some more friends together and go as a group.

 

My husband discussed the State Dept. Travel warnings for Colombia - the girls had read it and thought that it seemed like they would be quite safe going from the airport to the hotel ans staying in downtown Cartagena and on the beach. They won't be backpacking and booked a hotel room through AirBnB, so everything looks right. He - thought otherwise, poor guy.

 

They chose Colombia because 1. Cheap airfare, reasonable prices, the dollar is strong 2. Looks beautiful 3. Fell in love with the team during the World Cup - Juan Fernando Quintero, because he's awesome and because I am a Quintero, and James Rodriguez, because he is even more awesome!

 

They bought their plane tickets yesterday and only have til tomorrow to cancel and get their money back.

 

First-  are we overreacting? 

 

Second - I know that if we told her not to go, she wouldn't...but we are not use that we want to bring out the big parental guns on this one. We recently shut her down on a tattoo (when she is an adult who can support herself she can get all the tattoos she wants) and it was exhausting. We don't exactly have authority over her, as she is an adult. But she lives at home, we pay her tuition to the local college, buy her clothes, pay her cell phone bill - we made a deal about it when she started college and are fine with this arrangement until she graduates. She has quite a lot of money saved, as she is responsible and works hard and often.

 

I digress - it's not the money...I just wanted to show that she is not an airhead or a partier. We have a high opinion of her, so are horrified that she thinks this is a sensible thing to do!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TammyS]

 

 

They chose Colombia because 1. Cheap airfare, reasonable prices, the dollar is strong 2. Looks beautiful 3. Fell in love with the team during the World Cup - Juan Fernando Quintero, because he's awesome and because I am a Quintero, and James Rodriguez, because he is even more awesome!

 

Tell her that the reason that it's cheap is because only crazy people go there.  The state dept doesn't issue travel warnings because they are bored.  And if she's pretty, by which I mean not butt-ugly, then she's saleable. 

 

I don't know whether you can or should forbid her to go because I don't know what your arrangement with her is.  I would have no problem forbidding it (though I would try to put it in gentler terms and get her to go elsewhere), if she were living in my home on my dime.  Colombia isn't going anywhere, she can go when she's older if she still feels the itch.

 

I also wonder if she isn't showing that she needs more direction at the moment than you realized.  Sometimes as kids get older, they push and want to find out if there are any boundaries because they feel soooo much freedom that it feels like spinning out of control.  She tried for a tattoo and now wants to go to a dangerous country.  Sounds like a need for more direction to me.

[Uff Da!]

Yes, but I've never been to Columbia.  I was in a dangerous part of Brazil for awhile and that experience has colored my view on S. American travel a bit.  I had a friend travel through parts of Central America by contacting Women's Centers and making connections.  Perhaps they could do something similar?

[Rachel]

There is someone who posts on the boards who l think lives in Colombia. Maybe you can PM him, I believe his name is Lanny.

[Plink]

I have been to Cartagena. Even as a seasoned traveler, visiting Cartagena is not something I would be comfortable doing on my own, and I'm someone who routinely crawls under government barriers and bribes guides to get into interesting areas.

 

Other than churches and museums, it isn't a particularly interesting travel destination. It is dirty, busy, and you have a high probability of get mugged. The only safe way to travel there is with a group, preferably a large one.

 

They sound like the kind of girls who like to travel off the beaten path. This probably isn't the place for them unless they are willing to give up a lot of that freedom.

 

If they insist on going, make sure that they understand that it won't be a fun adventure like their other trips, it will be riding in tour busses with old ladies and leaving all the fantastic sites after only 30 minutes of photo taking with no time for exploration.

[wintermom]

All the alternatives you listed sound wonderful and realistic. The reasons from the girls to go to Columbia sound like they could apply to several other, much safer places - unless they really think that they'll meet one of the footballers!

[Vera]

I don't know about Colombia but I would cross Peru off the list of alternatives. Machu Pichu is more lovely than I can describe and should be on everyone's bucket list but I would NEVER let dd go there with just a girl friend.

[Aiden]

 

 

My husband discussed the State Dept. Travel warnings for Colombia - the girls had read it and thought that it seemed like they would be quite safe going from the airport to the hotel ans staying in downtown Cartagena and on the beach. They won't be backpacking and booked a hotel room through AirBnB, so everything looks right. He - thought otherwise, poor guy.

 

They chose Colombia because 1. Cheap airfare, reasonable prices, the dollar is strong 2. Looks beautiful 3. Fell in love with the team during the World Cup - Juan Fernando Quintero, because he's awesome and because I am a Quintero, and James Rodriguez, because he is even more awesome!

 

 

State Department warnings are no joke. I read the most recent one, and they seem to be hedging their bets, basically saying "It's dangerous and we think it's a bad idea for tourists to come here, but it's getting better and it's no longer so bad that we outright tell you that it would be stupid to come ... but it's still pretty stupid to come." That said, it sounds like her plan would keep her within the travel restrictions for State Department employees and their families, and those are usually strict enough to keep you pretty safe. My concern would be increased because you're talking about two young women traveling alone into an area that is dangerous enough to have travel restrictions at all. I would advise against it.

 

Her reasons for going ... (1) yep, it's cheap partly because it's dangerous; (2) lots of places look beautiful, including safer ones; and (3) she's unlikely to meet the team at the beach, so not a good reason to go when going exposes her to danger. Go somewhere else.

 

If it were my daughter, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her not to go. I would lead with trying to reason with her, trying to convince her to go elsewhere, etc etc. I would try to get her to decide not to go without blatantly and oppressively exercising my authority over her.

 

However, if it came down to it, I would use my power over her to keep her safe. I would tell her that the only reason she has the money to pay for this trip is because I pay for so much else ... and if me paying for so much else is going to enable her to spend her money taking risks that I believe are unnecessary and unjustified, I would rather she not have so much of her own extra money lying around to spend doing these things. Therefore, if she chooses to spend her money in this way, she should expect me to stop paying for so much else. Extreme? Possibly. Natural consequence of spending her money in a way I believe is foolish? Yep.

 

 

Side note ... other places that don't have Colombia's reputation are equally dangerous, if not more dangerous, because people assume they're safe. Before she goes anywhere--the Caribeean, Europe, *anywhere*--she needs to be made aware that the world is not a safe place and how to minimize her chances of something bad happening to her. It's more than the obvious stuff like not going home with strange men; she needs to learn about and practice operational security. For an intro, I enjoyed the book _The_Gift_of_Fear_ by Gavin de Becker.

[Liza Q]

Lol no - they don't think they will meet a footballer!

 

They are accustomed to traveling in safe, sensible Europe. When her friend went to India (for school) and China (for work) it was with large groups. I am just so surprised that they don't see the difference here.

 

Pushing boundaries - yes, a bit. I was married by the time I was her age and I can't imagine being home, dependent on Mom and Dad. Our arrangement has been "if you want to live at home, be a responsible college student and we will support you". But it is her choice - she prefers to stay home and live comfortably and be able to save money. If she lived on her own she would need to go work full time and go to school part time, which is not what she wants. So, she has to put up with very few "unreasonable" strictures, like no tattoos, which up until now she has handled with good grace.

 

This trip sounds romantic to them - not in a pick up men way, but in an exotic way.

 

I am ready to tell her that she should NOT GO, and then leave her be, as I am not a nag. My husband wants to tell her NO and push it. We'll see tonight.

 

 

[Haiku]

Her reasons for wanting to go sound immature. Colombia is dangerous, and there is no good reason she needs to go there.

 

I find it odd that you were willing to put your foot down about a tattoo (harmless) but seem unable to about this trip (dangerous). Either you have authority over her or you don't. I'd much more certainly assert my authority on this issue.

 

I am a seasoned traveler who has traveled and lived independently around the world. I wouldn't go to Colombia. She's being foolish.

[Gil]

That would freak me out badly also and I only have sons. Regardless, I wouldn't hesitate to outright forbid any adult child (male or female) from going to DANGEROUS, Place. Especially any adult child who is living in my home and on my dime. What they do with their own money is irrelevant to me and bears no weight in my decision. Of course they could defy my wishes all the same, but it wouldn't change my decision in the least and I wouldn't hesitate to be vocal in my descent.

 

I'm no world traveler but I do know that there are many, many places that meet their criteria and the odds of being mugged/assaulted/molested/sold into slavery while visiting are much lower also. I also wouldn't encourage any youth (male or female) to travel to Peru in a group of less than 5. (Especially since your daughter doesn't seem to speak Spanish)

 

Clearly I don't know your kid, but I do know that in general young people are prone to acts of stupidity. Even mature/responsible young people are prone to stupidity. Unfortunately many kids survive their stupidity and pretend that it was not stupidity that they survived. Once they have their own kids though, they realize that their good childhood friend Stuart Pid was actually just StuPid.

 

Don't be afraid to say something and don't be heart broken if they don't listen.

[Annie G]

It would totally freak me out. There's plenty of world left that she hasn't seen. No need to start with the scary places first. 

 

Having adult children at home is tricky. We have rules similar to yours and some people blast us for having any rules for adults while others think we give our adult children too much freedom. Everyone has an opinion and they're not shy about sharing.   I hope your dd listens to reason- Colombia is a far cry from Europe. 

[MBM]

Talk to Lanny. He lives there (Colombia) and his wife is Colombian.

 

 

[Joyofsixreboot]

I wouldn't like it, I would have given options and warnings but at that point I really have no say, KWIM? Both of my oldest kids have made what I thought are/were scary choices but they are adults.  My dad smiles, nods and says "You see now."

[AlmiraGulch]

I'll be the voice of dissent.

 

While I think it's normal to have some concern, I do think you're overreacting.  Tens of thousands of people travel to Colombia, particularly the large cities like Bogota and Cartagena, for business and pleasure every year, without incident.  According the U.S. State Department's own travel advisory, no U.S. citizen has been targeted because of their nationality, and the biggest risks are in more rural areas, or travel by land between areas.  

 

It sounds as if your daughter and her friend are planning to travel into and stay in one city.  A cursory glance even at TripAdvisor shows how very many people do this all the time, without incident.  It is a major metropolitan area, your daughter and her friend are well-traveled, and as long as they have clearly established plans I think they'll be just fine.  

 

ETA:  From TripAdvisor:  Cartagena, a gorgeous fishing village on Colombia's Caribbean coast, has excellent beaches, a historic old town (that's entirely walkable) and beautiful colonial architecture. It's also one of the safest places in the country, so it's no wonder it's a popular port of call for cruise ships. Need a break from exploring the cobblestone streets? Stop at an outdoor cafe for excellent pastries and people-watching.

 

 

 

 

[JFSinIL]

Aiden noted "However, if it came down to it, I would use my power over her to keep her safe. I would tell her that the only reason she has the money to pay for this trip is because I pay for so much else ... and if me paying for so much else is going to enable her to spend her money taking risks that I believe are unnecessary and unjustified, I would rather she not have so much of her own extra money lying around to spend doing these things. Therefore, if she chooses to spend her money in this way, she should expect me to stop paying for so much else. Extreme? Possibly. Natural consequence of spending her money in a way I believe is foolish? Yep."

 

I heartily agree! This IS worth going all parental on her! Her safety, her life may depend on her NOT going there! She may be an adult and able to make her own choices....remind her that you, too, are an adult and able to choose to not financially support her. ( which is an argument I have used with my now 20 year old dd, to her astonishment. )

 

Pardon typos, mi iPad hates me.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'll be the voice of dissent.

 

While I think it's normal to have some concern, I do think you're overreacting.  Tens of thousands of people travel to Colombia, particularly the large cities like Bogota and Cartagena, for business and pleasure every year, without incident.  According the U.S. State Department's own travel advisory, no U.S. citizen has been targeted because of their nationality, and the biggest risks are in more rural areas, or travel by land between areas.  

 

It sounds as if your daughter and her friend are planning to travel into and stay in one city.  A cursory glance even at TripAdvisor shows how very many people do this all the time, without incident.  It is a major metropolitan area, your daughter and her friend are well-traveled, and as long as they have clearly established plans I think they'll be just fine.  

 

ETA:  From TripAdvisor:  Cartagena, a gorgeous fishing village on Colombia's Caribbean coast, has excellent beaches, a historic old town (that's entirely walkable) and beautiful colonial architecture. It's also one of the safest places in the country, so it's no wonder it's a popular port of call for cruise ships. Need a break from exploring the cobblestone streets? Stop at an outdoor cafe for excellent pastries and people-watching.

TripAdvisor is a business, not a travel advisory.  They make money from advertising, from the people who hope to make money from people who travel, not from people who don't.  I would trust a State Department Advisory sooner than I would trust TripAdvisor.

 

It doesn't matter if U.S. citizens are not being targeted for their nationality.  That isn't the concern.  The worry is that they would be targeted because they are young, female, very sale-able, and vulnerable. 

[poppy]

She's 21 and it's a popular tourist destination among young people.  I'd fret about it, and encourage her to try Belize instead.......... but I wouldn't pull out the big guns.  Have her grab a Lonely Planet and make some memories.

[Lisbeth]

Your husband is right. If she will listen to you, tell her outright, NO. What could befall her could be horrific. Please stop her.

[AlmiraGulch]

TripAdvisor is a business, not a travel advisory.  They make money from advertising, from the people who hope to make money from people who travel, not from people who don't.  I would trust a State Department Advisory sooner than I would trust TripAdvisor.

 

It doesn't matter if U.S. citizens are not being targeted for their nationality.  That isn't the concern.  The worry is that they would be targeted because they are young, female, very sale-able, and vulnerable. 

 

I understand that, but actual people who have been there are the ones that post the reviews.  They have no reason to make something sound sunny and safe if it isn't.

 

The U.S. State Department, which I referenced first, even said that the risk is primarily in rural areas and travel between cities.  It does not say no one should go, just that they should exercise caution.  

 

The question was is she overreacting, and my opinion is that yes, she is.

[Liza Q]

Her reasons for wanting to go sound immature. Colombia is dangerous, and there is no good reason she needs to go there.

 

I find it odd that you were willing to put your foot down about a tattoo (harmless) but seem unable to about this trip (dangerous). Either you have authority over her or you don't. I'd much more certainly assert my authority on this issue.

 

I am a seasoned traveler who has traveled and lived independently around the world. I wouldn't go to Colombia. She's being foolish.

 

I think it is because we have a well thought out opinion on tattoos...and this trip appeared out of nowhere and we haven't had the time to formulate a reasonable opinion/approach. We are not the kind of parents to forbid and yell and threaten. We have rules in our home that we expect her to follow and she is certainly free to leave, no hard feelings.

 

I just want to come across as reasonable, not hysterical. I don't want her to discount our concerns because they are all emotional.

 

Make sense?

[Guest submarines]

It would certainly freak me out. Whether or not I'd be putting my foot down would depend a lot on our family dynamics, because statistically speaking the dangers are still small. It would not occur to me to fight a tattoo for an adult child, though. (even though I do hate tattoos with a passion--for myself).

[NotSoObvious]

We just got back from 3 1/2 weeks in Colombia. 

 

We went to:

Cartagena (3 nights)

Bucaramanga (2 weeks)

Mesa De Los Santos (3 nights)

Barichara (3 nights)

 

I took my twin 11 year old girls. We met my step mom in Cartagena and then met my dad in Bucaramanga where they own an apartment. They've been going to Colombia for over a decade and have owned property there for as long.

 

Cartagena is very touristy, but we stayed in the walled city and it was wonderful. The restaurants are great! But, Cartagena is not cheap, just so she knows. We used VRBO and stayed in a lovely apartment owned by a Texas couple. Their property manager was our tour guide and was able to connect us with safe and reputable excursions. We met lots of young travelers and saw more Americans here than anywhere else, most were college students.

 

Bucaramanga isn't touristy at all and was a wonderful city. I never felt unsafe even for a second. The other two towns we were in were even safer.

 

I'll add that we were also there during the World Cup and the presidential election.

 

I am hoping Lanny will chime in here, but I do believe a lot of the fear in Colombia is misplaced. Tourists are generally safe and not a target. If you read about the history of the US in Colombia, you'll have a new appreciation for the country. 

 

We are planning to go Guatemala in the spring, where there have been MANY more incidents involving tourists and where crime is much higher right now, yet none of our American friends bat an eye at Antigua. 

 

Colombia is a wonderful country. All travel has risks. Be smart, be safe. 

 

Here's my one measly blog post about our trip:

http://homeschoolfortwo.com/homeschool/colombia/

 

The first two pictures are in Cartagena. 

[fairfarmhand]

"dd, You know what kind of parents we are. We respect you as an adult and we love you. You know that we have your best interests at heart. You know that we've encouraged you to travel the world, see things, and have fun experiences. That said, we feel really bad about Columbia as a destination. I would strongly urge you to reconsider. We've watched the news our entire adult lives and seen really horrible stories about nations who have those types of travel warnings, and we don't want one of our children to be in one of those places. I am sure it is a beautiful fun place, but I know there are many other beautiful fun places too. Please reconsider, if for no other reason than to keep dad and I from having x number of sleepless nights while you are out of the country."

[Liza Q]

And thanks for the heads up on Lanny - I pmed him!

 

One more thing. I live in Brooklyn NY, born and raised. I started traveling on the subway alone when I was 11 - in 1976, when the city was objectively less safe than it is today. My daughter has been going around on her own for years, comes home late on the bus (and no, we don't live in an UMC neighborhood) and is not that sheltered. But - we live here. We know where to go, and when. I am sure that Cartagena is similar....but I would like to see them do a lot more research, so they would know exactly where they were going.

 

And they are pretty girls - I will try to post a picture.

[Wilma]

I'd say you're overreacting.

 

If their plan was to criss-cross the country hitchhiking or something like that I'd ask them to think again, but staying in one major metropolitan city is not at all unreasonable. Tons of people go there all the time without incident. And these girls have traveled - they know how to carry themselves.

 

Does either of the girls speak Spanish?

 

I'd not fuss over it.

[mysticmomma]

Nvm

[NotSoObvious]

Guys, it's Colombia, not Columbia. 

 

;)

[NotSoObvious]

I'd say you're overreacting.

 

If their plan was to criss-cross the country hitchhiking or something like that I'd ask them to think again, but staying in one major metropolitan city is not at all unreasonable. Tons of people go there all the time without incident. And these girls have traveled - they know how to carry themselves.

 

Does either of the girls speak Spanish?

 

I'd not fuss over it.

 

 

I will add that my Spanish had not been used in a long time and I struggled, but I used it a lot while we were there.

 

I can't really imagine going without speaking *some* Spanish, but I know people do.

 

They will not meet a ton of people who speak English, FYI, especially compared to say, touristy areas in Mexico.

[NotSoObvious]

Hey Lisa, 

I found where we stayed. I would 100% without reservation recommend it. They will have everything they need and Henry speaks perfect English and is an amazing resource.

http://www.vrbo.com/188185

 

[Wilma]

My feelings would vary a bit based on whether the girls have a working knowledge of Spanish, too. I'm always surprised at the different vibe a traveler gets when they're conversant (or not) in the local language. But either way I'd not "put my foot down".

[OneStepAtATime]

I have no experience with this personally but I have a friend whose husband is from Colombia.  He still has some family there.  His brother is a lawyer there.  His brother was shot and nearly killed because someone wanted to kidnap him for money and he fought back.  There have been other incidents.  And this is with people WHO LIVE THERE.  My friend and her husband have family come visit them, now, instead of going back to Colombia.  They do not consider it safe to travel there at this time, especially if you look like you have money or are a young female.

 

But people DO travel there all the time and have no incidents.  I don't know what I would do in your position.  I don't think I would put my foot down.  But I do think I would have her do a LOT more research on safety issues.

[Liza Q]

I am grateful for all the honest, varied opinions. It is wonderful; to have a place to have a discussion like this!!

 

Thanks

 

 

[Liza Q]

Hey Lisa, 

I found where we stayed. I would 100% without reservation recommend it. They will have everything they need and Henry speaks perfect English and is an amazing resource.

http://www.vrbo.com/188185

 

Thanks!!!. This alone would make me feel so much better. I think a big part of my panic is the knowing that they have not done a lot of research and planning.

[AlmiraGulch]

And thanks for the heads up on Lanny - I pmed him!

 

One more thing. I live in Brooklyn NY, born and raised. I started traveling on the subway alone when I was 11 - in 1976, when the city was objectively less safe than it is today. My daughter has been going around on her own for years, comes home late on the bus (and no, we don't live in an UMC neighborhood) and is not that sheltered. But - we live here. We know where to go, and when. I am sure that Cartagena is similar....but I would like to see them do a lot more research, so they would know exactly where they were going.

 

And they are pretty girls - I will try to post a picture.

 

They are lovely!  

 

Interesting....they actually look an awful lot like many of my Colombian ex-husbands cousins.     :)   Meaning, they will not stand out from much of the rest of the population.  

 

I completely understand your concern.   I think many of us of  "certain age" think Colombia and automatically have visions of Pablo Escobar and tourists being snatched off the tarmac as soon as the plane lands.  While there is absolutely reason to exercise caution, I really do think that as long as they do their research and stay in well-traveled areas, they'll be completely fine and have a fantastic trip.  The place is loaded with tourists, particularly that city.

 

Obviously they're not my kids, but you asked for opinions, so now you have mine.  

[Liza Q]

Funny. My daughter is German/Puerto Rican (she's the one on the left in the green jacket) and her friend is Irish-Italian/Native American (her Dad is from the Powhatan tribe). Other Hispanics always know that my daughter is not just "white" - most people think she is Venezuelan or Brazilian.

 

I'd feel better if one of them spoke Spanish. My daughter's German and her friend's Chinese is not that useful on this trip!

 

I was born here and was raised to speak English only, so I would not struggle in school like some of my cousins did - oh well.

 

I feel calmer already. As in, I am marshaling my thoughts and separating my emotions from my concerns.

[umsami]

I would probably worry a lot, but not say anything.  This comes from all of my travels in my teens and early 20s…back when there were bombings in France and Germany, Lockerbie,  and the like.  (Oh, we were also told to say we were Canadian back then. Not sure if that still applies in the world today.)

 

I'm assuming your DD and her friend have some street smarts from their previous travels and won't be stupid.  Maybe sign them up for a self-defense class….but honestly, other than that, let it go.

 

I think at 21, you're definitely an adult…and need to evaluate these risks yourself.  

[TechWife]

If you think that your daughter wouldn't go if you told her not to, it is because she respects you and your opinion. You need to make sure that you keep that respect by giving wise advice. In this instance, she is planning to make a trip to a destination that is not safe. 

 

If it were me, I'd use my influence to tell her not to go. 

[NotSoObvious]

Thanks!!!. This alone would make me feel so much better. I think a big part of my panic is the knowing that they have not done a lot of research and planning.

 

 

Great. I'll give you a little more info. The walled city is entirely walkable (small) and felt very safe, mostly because it is fairly expensive. This apartment was a block from Exito, the big grocery store where they can buy anything they need. It's a few blocks from a darling book store/cafe/bar. They will have Wifi almost everywhere in town. There is a torture museum, gold museum, and maritime museum. We ate off the street several times. We ate at some really expensive restaurants and some pretty cheap places. All the food was delicious. There is a lot of ceviche and seafood. Cartagena is full of history, much of which I didn't know. They can take a boat to the islands, which a lot of people do and it's very safe (we didn't have time). 

It was *very* hot (and I live in Florida). They need to have air conditioning, wherever they stay. (I would, anyway.) The walled city has narrow streets and it's best to do your walking before and after noon so you can walk in the shade of the buildings. 

We toured the fort and that was really interesting, too. That was the only time we left the walled city. I wish we would have taken Henry up on the boat tour of the small village, but honestly, it was just too hot! 

The beaches right in the city are nothing to write home about. If they want to go to the beach, they need to take the tour to the islands or go to Santa Marta. 

[NotSoObvious]

Funny. My daughter is German/Puerto Rican (she's the one on the left in the green jacket) and her friend is Irish-Italian/Native American (her Dad is from the Powhatan tribe). Other Hispanics always know that my daughter is not just "white" - most people think she is Venezuelan or Brazilian.

 

I'd feel better if one of them spoke Spanish. My daughter's German and her friend's Chinese is not that useful on this trip!

 

I was born here and was raised to speak English only, so I would not struggle in school like some of my cousins did - oh well.

 

I feel calmer already. As in, I am marshaling my thoughts and separating my emotions from my concerns.

 

 

There is a lot of German heritage in Colombia, which I had no idea about until we went. In fact, in Barichara, some people are so fair skinned, I kept asking them where they were from- Colombia, duh!

[Momling]

Is she asking you for money? I totally get not funding a trip I disapproved of. But if it's her own money, I'd let her go. She's not a child and it'll be an unforgettable experience. I went traveling on my own to some pretty unstable African countries at 20 and my parents didn't say a thing. They probably gritted their teeth as they wished me happy travels, but it really was okay and I learned a lot. I appreciate that they knew their boundaries and were able to recognize my ability to be responsible and let me become the grown-up I needed to become. They gave me advice when I asked and comfort when I needed it and otherwise let me fly out of the nest. I came back after 8 months with a lot more life experience and strength and confidence.

[J-rap]

I would want to know more about the area, and sit down and really discuss their plans and reasons at length.  This is what we did before our son rode his bike across Europe alone for the year (and into Russia, Estonia, Poland, Turkey...) at age 18/19.  We sat down and thought of every situation we could think of, what he needs to be careful of, how he comes across without realizing it, eye contact, walking with a purpose, what's safe at night, lots of emergency situations.  Also, is it safe for two girls alone to ride a taxi at night, buses, all of that.  If they're going just for the beaches and to see some soccer players (even though those may be good enough reasons! ha :)), I think there are other countries that might be a little safer?  But honestly, if they are in one city and know exactly what they're doing and take all precautions, maybe they're just as safe there as anywhere.  I'm glad you've PM'd Lanny.

 

Otherwise, they could go to Costa Rica!  :)

[freesia]

Is she asking you for money? I totally get not funding a trip I disapproved of. But if it's her own money, I'd let her go. She's not a child and it'll be an unforgettable experience. I went traveling on my own to some pretty unstable African countries at 20 and my parents didn't say a thing. They probably gritted their teeth as they wished me happy travels, but it really was okay and I learned a lot. I appreciate that they knew their boundaries and were able to recognize my ability to be responsible and let me become the grown-up I needed to become. They gave me advice when I asked and comfort when I needed it and otherwise let me fly out of the nest. I came back after 8 months with a lot more life experience and strength and confidence.

This.

 

I lived in Africa during my 20s. Oddly, my Mom had a hard time with this. Why oddly? Because she lived in Vietnam in her 20s--at the beginning of the war! She said, "That was different!" I said, "Yes, bc the country I am going to is not actually at war!"

 

It's not odd, though, because now she was a parent. I think it is normal to worry and give advice. However, she is 21 and need to make her own decisions.

[Liza Q]

About the soccer players.

 

No - they are not looking to find them, or any men. Seeing a player with Quintero on his back got us all excited. Then Rodriguez played so well. And we have a family joke that we are not really Puerto Rican, but Colombian, as one of my aunts did some research on our name...basically one branch of the family kept going to South America while our branch stayed in PR. This all led to reading up about Colombia. Then she read about Cartagena and was thrilled - she and her friend say the pictures remind them of New Orleans, where they spent a few days last winter.

 

Really. They may be crazy for wanting to go, but it is not a silly soccer player thing at all. If it were, we would be a lot more upset!

 

They have researched, just not enough imo.

[Liza Q]

Is she asking you for money? I totally get not funding a trip I disapproved of. But if it's her own money, I'd let her go. She's not a child and it'll be an unforgettable experience. I went traveling on my own to some pretty unstable African countries at 20 and my parents didn't say a thing. They probably gritted their teeth as they wished me happy travels, but it really was okay and I learned a lot. I appreciate that they knew their boundaries and were able to recognize my ability to be responsible and let me become the grown-up I needed to become. They gave me advice when I asked and comfort when I needed it and otherwise let me fly out of the nest. I came back after 8 months with a lot more life experience and strength and confidence.

 

No - not asking us for money. But, like someone upthread mentioned, the reason she has plenty of money for travel (as well as even more long-term savings) is that we support her. If we did not support her, she could never afford to travel. So in a way we subsidize her trips...

[wapiti]

FWIW, I have a NYC-raised relative who lives in Bogota.  They travel with a car and driver and only in certain areas.  I don't know about Cartagena, though my dh and dd visited them a few years ago and might have made a trip to that location.  Without a more pressing reason to visit that particular country or an in-country guide of one sort or another, I'm sorry to say it would make me very nervous.  Hopefully Lanny will have good advice.

[poppy]

We just got back from 3 1/2 weeks in Colombia. 

 

We went to:

Cartagena (3 nights)

Bucaramanga (2 weeks)

Mesa De Los Santos (3 nights)

Barichara (3 nights)

 

I took my twin 11 year old girls. We met my step mom in Cartagena and then met my dad in Bucaramanga where they own an apartment. They've been going to Colombia for over a decade and have owned property there for as long.

 

Cartagena is very touristy, but we stayed in the walled city and it was wonderful. The restaurants are great! But, Cartagena is not cheap, just so she knows. We used VRBO and stayed in a lovely apartment owned by a Texas couple. Their property manager was our tour guide and was able to connect us with safe and reputable excursions. We met lots of young travelers and saw more Americans here than anywhere else, most were college students.

 

Bucaramanga isn't touristy at all and was a wonderful city. I never felt unsafe even for a second. The other two towns we were in were even safer.

 

I'll add that we were also there during the World Cup and the presidential election.

 

I am hoping Lanny will chime in here, but I do believe a lot of the fear in Colombia is misplaced. Tourists are generally safe and not a target. If you read about the history of the US in Colombia, you'll have a new appreciation for the country. 

 

We are planning to go Guatemala in the spring, where there have been MANY more incidents involving tourists and where crime is much higher right now, yet none of our American friends bat an eye at Antigua. 

 

Colombia is a wonderful country. All travel has risks. Be smart, be safe. 

 

Here's my one measly blog post about our trip:

http://homeschoolfortwo.com/homeschool/colombia/

 

The first two pictures are in Cartagena. 

 

I am so impressed your daughter ate the fish eyeballs!!

 

 

[Starr]

Lanny, you need Lanny, isn't he in Colombia.

[TammyS]

No - not asking us for money. But, like someone upthread mentioned, the reason she has plenty of money for travel (as well as even more long-term savings) is that we support her. If we did not support her, she could never afford to travel. So in a way we subsidize her trips...

You are ABSOLUTELY subsidizing her trips.

 

For all those who keep saying "she's an adult", I'm sorry, but she's not.  She's of age, but she's not an adult.  Adults do not live off of other people and then use what little money they make to take exotic vacations.  Adults support themselves and have earned the right to make all decisions in their life.  Part of that is paying the bill, but also doing the hard, hard work of being able to pay the bill and having a real appreciation for just how tough it is. This girl hasn't reached that level yet.  I'm sure she's wonderful and smart and I think it's great that her parents are willing to keep her on at home while she's going to school.  But she isn't even CLOSE to being an adult.

[idnib]

I would worry but I would let her go. I've spent a fair amount of time in the some of the more dangerous areas of SE Asia and I learned a lot from it. The State Department's job is to come up with the most conservative warnings. If you'd read the warnings of the places I went it sounded terrifying. On the ground, though, were warm friendly people with big hearts. Good food and conversation, adventure and fun. Could something happen? Sure, but the chances are extremely small. Frankly I worry more about the driving conditions and the drivers than the usual scenarios with which the State Department concerns itself.

 

If she goes, make sure she registers with the embassy if she can, hides her cash in various places on her person, never leaves her drinks alone, and sticks with her friend. This is true for all travel, btw.