Older women wearing strapless tops

[mysticmomma]

Not everyone wears them to impress others or to try to look nice. I wear them because I am especially bothered by heat and it's a few less square inches of skin to stick to fabric. Also, because I don't care what people think. Man, this conversation makes me glad I don't dress for other people. There are always critics. Shoulders, ankles, what next, hands?

You mean you don't wear gloves when you are out?! Not only are men being tempted by the though of your hands on his manhood, you are spreading unnecessary germs onto every surface you touch. For shame.

[SemiSweet]

Not everyone wears them to impress others or to try to look nice. I wear them because I am especially bothered by heat and it's a few less square inches of skin to stick to fabric. Also, because I don't care what people think. Man, this conversation makes me glad I don't dress for other people. There are always critics. Shoulders, ankles, what next, hands?

My thoughts exactly. It must be stressful to get dressed every day if you have to think about what every single person you come in contact with thinks about your clothing choices. Yikes.

[mommymilkies]

You mean you don't wear gloves when you are out?! Not only are men being tempted by the though of your hands on his manhood, you are spreading unnecessary germs onto every surface you touch. For shame.

Only on my safe hand.

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for the vague Stormlight reference. Had to.

[Mrs Mungo]

The OP said tube top OR strapless top. I think there is a pretty big difference between those two things.

 

This is what I think of when I think of tube top:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Tube_top_and_blue_jeans_crop.jpg

 

While a strapless top could be anything like these:

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/Shopbop/p/pcs/products/alice/alice4153127041/alice4153127041_q1_1-0_336x596.jpg

 

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51SY34GJ3EL._SY445_.jpg

 

http://clothingbargainus.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/FLORAL-LACE-STRAPLESS-TOP-front.jpg

 

http://s7.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/D9BEC7C8.jpg

 

I don't know that I *personally* think the first is particularly flattering on anyone. Again, *I* realize that is a personal aesthetic preference.

 

But, I think all of the photos in the other links look fine, attractive, and I don't think they are immodest.

[SemiSweet]

The OP said tube top OR strapless top. I think there is a pretty big difference between those two things.

 

This is what I think of when I think of tube top:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Tube_top_and_blue_jeans_crop.jpg

 

While a strapless top could be anything like these:

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/Shopbop/p/pcs/products/alice/alice4153127041/alice4153127041_q1_1-0_336x596.jpg

 

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51SY34GJ3EL._SY445_.jpg

 

http://clothingbargainus.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/FLORAL-LACE-STRAPLESS-TOP-front.jpg

 

http://s7.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/D9BEC7C8.jpg

 

I don't know that I *personally* think the first is particularly flattering on anyone. Again, *I* realize that is a personal aesthetic preference.

 

But, I think all of the photos in the other links look fine, attractive, and I don't think they are immodest.

Those are about what I had in mind. I wouldn't wear the first, but I don't care if other people do. I like most of the other ones and would wear some of them.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'm a whatever kind of person.  I may think something is unflattering on someone (tube tops on pretty much everyone and strapless on lots of people.)  But if they like it, cool.  Me personally - I don't wear tube tops (not since the 70s.)  And strapless??  It would have to have a lot of structure for me to feel safe wearing it - and to have that much structure, it wouldn't be particularly comfortable. 

[AMJ]

Personally I hate them, and have since I was a teen and first had the opportunity to wear one.  Some people might have a problem with the "frumpy" "mom" clothes I typically wear, but the clothes suit me.  I dress first for comfort and suitability for the doings of the day.  Any other consideration falls in a distant third place.  On special occasions I'll make some concessions for a few hours, but it's far better to have me comfy and able to handle whatever comes, than already irritated and on a short fuse because of torturous garments.

 

Pet peeve of mine: the "lingerie" look of exposed bra straps, and even layered tops with straps peeking out every which way.  I don't understand how this is even comfortable, but I've learned to keep my mouth shut when I see others dressed this way.  They apparently find it comfortable, and if they aren't exposing body parts that legally should be covered then it's no business of mine.  Though I sometimes offer sunscreen to family that dresses this way.

[AMJ]

Regarding the question of "older": 

My wonderful DD has told me (after the subject of my impending 50th birthday was brought up), "You aren't old until you are Dumbledore old." 

"Isn't Dumbledore dead?" 

"Yup.  Exactly."

 

'Nuf said!

 

[Guest]

Regarding the question of "older":

My wonderful DD has told me (after the subject of my impending 50th birthday was brought up), "You aren't old until you are Dumbledore old."

"Isn't Dumbledore dead?"

"Yup. Exactly."

 

'Nuf said!

Yeah, true.

 

I'm not dumb enough to qualify "older."

[Lady Florida.]

I've never been comfortable in either tube tops or strapless anything (Mrs. Mungo is right; they're very different) even when I had the body for that type of clothing. I just always felt like the top was falling down even when it wasn't. That was my problem. It's not my business what others wear, and I don't care. I really don't.

 

I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted.  I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself.  I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world.  I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it.
 
I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way.  I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women?

 
The horror of what? I have old lady arms. I also live in Florida. I can either subject loved ones and strangers to the horror of my upper arms, or stay comfortable in a hot climate. Guess which one I choose. 

It's also not the business of those "numerous men". And why are they telling you how they feel about the way other women dress. Numerous men are talking to you about this? I'm sorry, but I find that an odd thing for them to do.
 
 

Gravity's just a theory, anyway....so we can't really say what's going on inside the top.

 
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:     
 
Actually, I believe I am proof that it's real. :smilielol5:  
 

I'm not dumb enough to qualify "older."

Smart woman, you are. :D

[Mrs Mungo]

I've never been comfortable in either tube tops or strapless anything (Mrs. Mungo is right; they're very different) even when I had the body for that type of clothing. I just always felt like the top was falling down even when it wasn't. That was my problem. It's not my business what others wear, and I don't care. I really don't.

You just need a *really good* strapless bra and some fashion tape. ;)

[Wheres Toto]

The OP said tube top OR strapless top. I think there is a pretty big difference between those two things.

 

This is what I think of when I think of tube top:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Tube_top_and_blue_jeans_crop.jpg

 

While a strapless top could be anything like these:

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/Shopbop/p/pcs/products/alice/alice4153127041/alice4153127041_q1_1-0_336x596.jpg

 

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51SY34GJ3EL._SY445_.jpg

 

http://clothingbargainus.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/FLORAL-LACE-STRAPLESS-TOP-front.jpg

 

http://s7.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/D9BEC7C8.jpg

 

I don't know that I *personally* think the first is particularly flattering on anyone. Again, *I* realize that is a personal aesthetic preference.

 

But, I think all of the photos in the other links look fine, attractive, and I don't think they are immodest.

 

I wouldn't wear the first one - tube tops make me think of the 70's - but some of the others are really cute. I'd probably wear any of those.  

 

I'm overweight but small busted.  I can go without a bra with very little bounce despite being in my 40's.  If a shirt is thick enough to not show through, its very hard to tell if I"m wearing a bra (trust me, my oldest is very quick to point it out to me if she notices, LOL).   I'd probably wear a strapless under a nice strapless blouse though, to give a little extra lift and maybe some padding. 

[Miss Marple]

Some older women are genetically lucky and have less gravitational drag on the bOOks ;)  And I think there are lots of "helps" out there to make a tube top (visions of the 70's haunt me) or strapless top/halter/etc. much more appealing.  

[kitten18]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Same in Southern CA and in AZ. You see a lot of skin in these areas and it doesn't bother me.

Totally agree. I guess tank tops, spaghetti straps, cleavage, strapless, and tube tops are so common place here that I don't think about them for a second.

[texasmama]

Strapless tops are not a good look for me.  Everyone gets to decide this for themselves.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I'm not a fan of tube tops. So I don't wear one.

 

 

If my grandma decides to wear one, more power to her, go grandma!

[Audrey]

People can (and will) wear what they like.

 

For me, well... the strapless bra makers and I have agreed to disagree on their ability with hold up my bosom properly.  So, since I need a boned corset to go strapless and still look like I'm defying gravity, I have no tube tops or strapless tops in my wardrobe.  Halter tops with the built in bra, though?  I love those.  They're nearly as cool and comfy as a tube top, but I don't need the heavy underarmour to feel like my curves are sitting in their proper places.

 

 

[freeindeed]

If a woman feels comfortable, she should go for it.

[bettyandbob]

I think some of us probably did look good in the 70s tube top -- in the 70s. I remover wearing one during a Delaware beach vacation (never wore one away from the beach). Back then I swam, played field hockey and ran track, Bicycling was my mode of transit daily and I was a long way from having children. I had an A cup so not a lot of support needed. I wasn't over exposed, bouncing and had no extra jiggle other places either. So, I think there was a point in my life when I pulled that off. If other women feel like that can pull off the tube top look, they should go ahead.

 

It is weird that one pp said men have told her they are uncomfortable with the look. How does one start that conversation? Do you just start polling men you meet showing pictures of various outfits and have them comment? Do men seek you out to tell you their complaints about women's clothing styles ( no one, not even dh has done this with me) ?

[Guest]

I feel like the older you are, the more appropriate they become. I LOVE an old lady that lives at the beach that wears terry cloth tube tops (or my favorite, strapless terrycloth jumpers!!!) And smokes cigarettes and rides in golf carts. She wears a sequined jacket when it gets chilly and always has on bright pink lipstick.

 

Its a whole lifestyle. It tickles me.

I know that lady! She might be my Aunt Doris.

[Catwoman]

This is pretty much my view. I wasn't paying attention to the top of the woman in the story, but after he dh said his piece about it, I did think his assessment was correct. He was not nice about it, though. I don't think he should have been so crass, but OTOH, if dh had privately already given me his opinion of the top and I wore it anyway, I would say perhaps I was inviting his disapproval.

If he disapproved of the top, he should have mentioned it privately to his wife, not to anyone else.

 

If my dh ever pulled a tacky stunt like that, I'd wear that top every single day of my life until it fell apart, just for spite.

 

If he mentioned privately that he didn't think my top was flattering, I would probably just wear something else, because my dh would never make a comment like that unless the top was truly hideous.

[Hikin' Mama]

I don't mind strapless, but I don't think tube tops are attractive on anyone. That said, I don't really care if someone else wears them, but I'm not gonna, no matter how young or old I am. :)

[Guest]

If he disapproved of the top, he should have mentioned it privately to his wife, not to anyone else.

 

If my dh ever pulled a tacky stunt like that, I'd wear that top every single day of my life until it fell apart, just for spite.

 

If he mentioned privately that he didn't think my top was flattering, I would probably just wear something else, because my dh would never make a comment like that unless the top was truly hideous.

Yeah, according to the conversation, she said he told her earlier she shouldn't wear it because it looks like (unflattering stuff here). She wore it anyway. He reiterated publicly his opinion of the top. She pretty much told him to stuff it. I think she was in the right to say so, but I also somewhat agree that it isn't a nice look.

 

If my husband told me privately what this guy said, it is very unlikely

I would wear it.

[Guest]

Dp

[HRAAB]

It's not my place to tell other women how to dress.  I have enough to worry about for myself.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yeah, according to the conversation, she said he told her earlier she shouldn't wear it because it looks like (unflattering stuff here). She wore it anyway. He reiterated publicly his opinion of the top. She pretty much told him to stuff it. I think she was in the right to say so, but I also somewhat agree that it isn't a nice look.

 

If my husband told me privately what this guy said, it is very unlikely

I would wear it.

For them to share a conversation like that with someone else, tells me that there are tensions (temporary or not) in the marriage.  To then publicly shame her tells me that there are reasons for those tensions.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the top in question, in my opinion.  Even if I was wearing a potato sack, my husband would never be so rude to me in private or public.  

[kiana]

If my dh ever pulled a tacky stunt like that, I'd wear that top every single day of my life until it fell apart, just for spite.

 

You must be nicer than I am.

 

I would go buy 5 more just like it, in various colors.

[Farrar]

Is there some middle ground where one can say (ETA: not literally, just, think), "You can wear whatever you want but it's not really flattering," or is that just inherently too judgmental?  I guess I mostly dress for myself and if I like what I'm wearing then I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks.  And as long as no one feels the need to come up out of nowhere and say, "Ugly outfit!" or whatever then I don't really think about it.  But I don't know how to not have an opinion.  I don't think much about this stuff, but if you're asking, I'm going to think.  It's like art or design or home decor or whatever.  Just because I don't like how you decorate your house, it doesn't mean I would be rude or would judge your intelligence or anything like that.  Ditto how you dress.

 

[Farrar]

No middle ground! You must choose sides.

 

Oh well then.  As the fashionista I so clearly am, I decree, tube tops and hot pants for all!

[kiana]

Is there some middle ground where one can say, "You can wear whatever you want but it's not really flattering," or is that just inherently too judgmental?  I guess I mostly dress for myself and if I like what I'm wearing then I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks.  And as long as no one feels the need to come up out of nowhere and say, "Ugly outfit!" or whatever then I don't really think about it.  But I don't know how to not have an opinion.  I don't think much about this stuff, but if you're asking, I'm going to think.  It's like art or design or home decor or whatever.  Just because I don't like how you decorate your house, it doesn't mean I would be rude or would judge your intelligence or anything like that.  Ditto how you dress.

 

I gotta admit, I do think 'dayumn, ugly outfit' sometimes -- or sometimes just 'wtf!' although that usually happens with something that belongs on people of walmart ... like the shirtless woman with her boobs tucked into her pants.

 

But I would never say something unless specifically asked by someone I knew, and even then I would be tactful. I just usually figure they have better things to do/don't care/are busy and hey this was clean/have different taste than I do/something like that.

 

[LibraryLover]

No middle ground! You must choose sides.

You forgot big jewelry in your pp. :)

 

I've chosen. I want the bracelets & earrings, red or pink lipstick, purse dogs, strapless cuteness with freckled shoulders, and a little gin at lunch. :) When you first posted, my mind went there. So much yes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Is there some middle ground where one can say (ETA: not literally, just, think), "You can wear whatever you want but it's not really flattering," or is that just inherently too judgmental?  I guess I mostly dress for myself and if I like what I'm wearing then I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks.  And as long as no one feels the need to come up out of nowhere and say, "Ugly outfit!" or whatever then I don't really think about it.  But I don't know how to not have an opinion.  I don't think much about this stuff, but if you're asking, I'm going to think.  It's like art or design or home decor or whatever.  Just because I don't like how you decorate your house, it doesn't mean I would be rude or would judge your intelligence or anything like that.  Ditto how you dress.

Sure, I have thoughts on whether I think something is flattering or not.  But like you, I wouldn't base my opinion on their intelligence or morality or anything else on it.  And really, those thoughts are pretty fleeting for me.  I think it and then I'm immediately moved on to what I'm doing (if it was a random stranger passing by) or to what people are actually saying (if it is someone I know at a party etc.).  The only time when I would have it stay in my mind longer is if there were an actual wardrobe malfunction of some kind or some other reason to make it memorable.  And if it is a friend who normally dresses in an memorable way then it just gets filed under "that's how ______ is" along with all their mannerisms, their history, their pet peeves etc. 

[Word Nerd]

Is there some middle ground where one can say (ETA: not literally, just, think), "You can wear whatever you want but it's not really flattering," or is that just inherently too judgmental?  I guess I mostly dress for myself and if I like what I'm wearing then I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks.  And as long as no one feels the need to come up out of nowhere and say, "Ugly outfit!" or whatever then I don't really think about it.  But I don't know how to not have an opinion.  I don't think much about this stuff, but if you're asking, I'm going to think.  It's like art or design or home decor or whatever.  Just because I don't like how you decorate your house, it doesn't mean I would be rude or would judge your intelligence or anything like that.  Ditto how you dress.

 

 

People are going to have opinions about other people's dress, and they won't all be positive. The real issue is whether or how they share that negative opinion and if they make the person feel bad.

 

The idea that no one should ever judge what I wear (i.e., think an outfit or type of clothing I'm wearing is unattractive, tacky, or unflattering) just isn't realistic and would be a completely unreasonable, hypersensitive expectation on my part. People make judgments about houses, food, art, books, flowers, scents, and on and on. A lot of people watch What Not to Wear and makeover shows, look at Best/Worst Dressed photo galleries after awards shows, laugh at People of Walmart, or leaf through fashion magazines and make judgments about the clothes. It's not really a big deal.

 

[ebrindam]

Everyone should be able to wear whatever they want regardless of age or body type. I'm so tired of people judging others based on their appearance. Who cares?

[Truscifi]

Another vote for people should wear what they like and not worry about what other people think.

[ebrindam]

This is pretty much my view. I wasn't paying attention to the top of the woman in the story, but after he dh said his piece about it, I did think his assessment was correct. He was not nice about it, though. I don't think he should have been so crass, but OTOH, if dh had privately already given me his opinion of the top and I wore it anyway, I would say perhaps I was inviting his disapproval.

 

Even if my husband did not like something that I wore, he would never, ever disrespect me by saying anything negative to his friends or family about me. Not ever.  

[Berta]

I feel like the older you are, the more appropriate they become. I LOVE an old lady that lives at the beach that wears terry cloth tube tops (or my favorite, strapless terrycloth jumpers!!!) And smokes cigarettes and rides in golf carts. She wears a sequined jacket when it gets chilly and always has on bright pink lipstick.

 

Its a whole lifestyle. It tickles me.

[redsquirrel]

We do judge all the time. I know I do. But I keep it to myself and I do make a distinction between deciding I do or don't like what someone is wearing vs what kind of person they are. Those are two very different things.

[bettyandbob]

I had never heard of People of Walmart before this thread. Well, my life was not enhanced.

[Melissa in Australia]

I voted it depends.

 

basically it depends if they can keep their top up.

 I have never had anything big enough to hold up a sleeveless top, so I should  never wear them

[marbel]

Not than anyone carea, but im going to throw this out there...I actually disapprove of the people of walmart and similar far more than any item of clothing. It seems the same as laughing at the misfortune of others and it feels skeevy to me.

 

Obviously a lotof ppl disagree since it is wildly popular. But I think it is wrong.

 

Yeah, I agree.  Taking photos of people to post them online as objects of ridicule... why? 

[Guest]

I am actually a person of Walmart. I buy five gallons of milk a week and sometimes walmart has them at $2.50. That is worth it to me.

[kiana]

I am actually a person of Walmart. I buy five gallons of milk a week and sometimes walmart has them at $2.50. That is worth it to me.

 

I'm surprised I didn't end up on that site the time I went out wearing my fluffy pink pajamas and brightly colored crocs because I needed cough medicine and couldn't be bothered to change.

[Jean in Newcastle]

People are going to have opinions about other people's dress, and they won't all be positive. The real issue is whether or how they share that negative opinion and if they make the person feel bad.

 

The idea that no one should ever judge what I wear (i.e., think an outfit or type of clothing I'm wearing is unattractive, tacky, or unflattering) just isn't realistic and would be a completely unreasonable, hypersensitive expectation on my part. People make judgments about houses, food, art, books, flowers, scents, and on and on. A lot of people watch What Not to Wear and makeover shows, look at Best/Worst Dressed photo galleries after awards shows, laugh at People of Walmart, or leaf through fashion magazines and make judgments about the clothes. It's not really a big deal.

 

I agree that we all have opinions.  And I agree that the real issue is in part whether they share that negative opinion.  

 

I also agree that it isn't realistic to think that people won't judge me.  But I think there is a huge difference between having an opinion - even negative - and mocking someone (People of Walmart) or having an opinion over a superficial thing like clothes, house decor, make up etc. and transferring it to a judgement about the person themselves.  I'm not saying that you're doing the latter, by the way, but some people do the "Ooh.  Look at what she's wearing.  She's such a tramp."  I've said this over and over again in other fashion judgey threads.  A person's clothing does not define their character and a person's character is so much more important.  Ditto for their house decor etc.  

 

So much of what we see as beauty is cultural.  I can often pick out an immigrant's house just by driving by and seeing the outside of their house because there are certain cultural norms and values that go into their choices.  It tells me nothing of whether those people are nice or not.  And it doesn't tell me if they are "tacky" either even if those choices are "tacky" within my micro-culture.  Same for clothing.  There are certain clothing styles that are favored more by people of certain socio-economic groups.  I find it hard when an entire group of people are written off because of it.  

[Word Nerd]

But I think there is a huge difference between having an opinion - even negative - and mocking someone (People of Walmart) or having an opinion over a superficial thing like clothes, house decor, make up etc. and transferring it to a judgement about the person themselves.  

 

I agree.

 

[SKL]

I don't care.  Personally I'm not big on seeing anyone sleeveless, but I don't see a difference between wearing a skinny strap vs. no strap - both show about as much skin.  Assuming the top isn't falling down....

[Greta]

Poll - Keeping it simple: should older women (say, old enough that gravity is beginning to take effect) wear tube tops or strapless tops?

A lot of people are responding that people should wear what they want. I thought that it kind of goes without saying that people should, do, and will wear what they want. So I was interpreting the "should" in your question to mean more like, is it flattering and stylish. And since you included tube tops, I had to answer no. I think that some strapless tops (with the right bra support) can be stylish at any age - well, maybe I should say most ages. I sure can't imagine my 98 year old granny in one! But it can be done in a very stylish way. I've never looked good in anything strapless at any age, but that's another story.

[Desert Strawberry]

You forgot big jewelry in your pp. :)

 

I've chosen. I want the bracelets & earrings, red or pink lipstick, purse dogs, strapless cuteness with freckled shoulders, and a little gin at lunch. :) When you first posted, my mind went there. So much yes.

Oh! Did you have lunch with my mom?  Did you notice the pink flamingo tattoo on her shoulder? Adorable.

[Word Nerd]

For some reason this thread reminded me of this clip of Meredith in The Office: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_QiwAf8ltuk

[Guest]

A lot of people are responding that people should wear what they want. I thought that it kind of goes without saying that people should, do, and will wear what they want. So I was interpreting the "should" in your question to mean more like, is it flattering and stylish. And since you included tube tops, I had to answer no. I think that some strapless tops (with the right bra support) can be stylish at any age - well, maybe I should say most ages. I sure can't imagine my 98 year old granny in one! But it can be done in a very stylish way. I've never looked good in anything strapless at any age, but that's another story.

Hmmm. "Should." I guess I meant is it wise to wear them if it is widely seen as unflattering. If you have been told by your husband that it is unflattering. Also, when I said "strapless" OR tube top, I wasn't thinking of structured, elegant tops or dresses that simply lack a strap. I was thinking of strapless tops that aren't exactly tube tops, but still do not have structure or support.