Ginevra Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Poll - Keeping it simple: should older women (say, old enough that gravity is beginning to take effect) wear tube tops or strapless tops? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 They should do whatever they want to without anyone judging them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm not a huge fan of tube tops anyway, and don't really like them. It's more a body type thing than an age thing to me though on whether or not it's flattering. For the most part, I don't care what people wear. If they feel good in it, they should be able to wear it without judgment. You just won't find me in a tube top. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 as long they are happy wearing it, then I am happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 They should do whatever they want to without anyone judging them. Do you think it makes a difference if the woman's husband is against it? (And I don't mean modesty reasons. I mean he says it is not attractive.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Do you think it makes a difference if the woman's husband is against it? (And I don't mean modesty reasons. I mean he says it is not attractive.) Nope. It's her body. She might choose to not wear one around him but I would hope that it's her choice instead of feeling shamed by her husband. She is in charge of her body. The End. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I wouldn't, but it's a completely personal choice: no 'should' about it. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I would never tell another adult what to wear (or not wear). I wouldn't wear one personally, but that's not the question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think they can wear what they like. I think it's silly when a person where's a strapless or spaghetti strap top or dress with a regular or sport bra underneath. What was the point of getting something strapless in the first place? The bra straps ruin the look of the dress/top. So, I think If you are comfortable with no support great. If you wear supportive strapless undergarments great. I just don't like looking at supportive undergarments that have straps with strapless dresses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 There's no "I wouldn't do it but don't care what other women do" option. That would be my choice. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Do you think it makes a difference if the woman's husband is against it? (And I don't mean modesty reasons. I mean he says it is not attractive.) Y'know, she has the right to wear whatever she wants. But personally, what I'd do: If I were going out to dinner or trying to convince him to come brew a pot of tea, I'd wear something that he also found attractive. I'd expect him to do the same for me. If I were just bumming around in the garden, then I would wear what I liked and hand him a paper bag to put over his head if he couldn't stand the sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm not sure how to vote. My first thought was that anyone should (within reason - bikini in a blizzard might be a shouldn't...) wear whatever they want. But generally it looks awkward and unflattering so I wouldn't recommend it if asked or wear it myself. MIL wears terrycloth strapless tops a lot. She has several. I know she clearly loves them, but I admit that I don't get it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted. I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? I am trying really hard not to write a snarky response to this. No matter how much you cover up, there will *always* be someone who is aroused or distracted by what is revealed. I mean, at some points in this country, if you could see a woman's ankles, she was considered inappropriately dressed, and in some countries, even being able to see a woman's eyes without a veil is considered too revealing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I don't care for strapless shirts in general, on anyone, but that's just me. But if I did like them, and if my husband thought it looked silly on me and we were going out, I'd probably respect his opinion and not wear it. (given that we have a great, respectful relationship and it isn't often that we would ask each other something like that.) He would do the same for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted. I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? That would really freak me out, to have numerous men tell me they are uncomfortable around women in tank tops. I'd be wondering why perverts or control freaks are talking to me about what women passing by are wearing. I'd tell them that, too. "You sound like a pervert. Aren't you an adult, can't you refrain from staring at women in public?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted. I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? I don't think bare shoulders are inappropriate, so right there I would have to argue with the guys. Men are visual, I get that- but even very modest dress can turn a man's head. It's his job to keep his hormones in check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Who cares! Why shouldn't they wear what they like? I'm not the fashion police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Do you think it makes a difference if the woman's husband is against it? (And I don't mean modesty reasons. I mean he says it is not attractive.) Not in the slightest. My dh thinks some of my shirts are dorky (like my Castiel shirt), but I don't dress for what he likes. I dress for me. He is not in charge of my body or clothes and he would find the idea of his saying bearing weight on what I wear hilarious. To put it lightly, he didn't marry me to conform me or because of my fashion sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm 43 years old and today I am wearing denim winnie the pooh shortalls :) I really don't care what people wear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think I am with Kiana on this. I would not wear them out on a date with dh if he really didn't like the look. I would wear them around the house or puttering around in the yard if I wanted to. Now I don't actually wear strapless tops because it isn't my thing but I will wear a tank style that isn't too tight and I have some maxi dresses with thins straps. I do wear a strapless bra with them because I prefer not to have bra straps showing on myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Strapless can look like Grace Kelly or it can look like something a streetwalker might wear. So for me, it would really depend on the overall "look" of the outfit. Is it classy or trashy? http://www.pinterest.com/pin/22799541838466634/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I see it all of the time here in Hawaii. Women of all ages in strapless tops, bikinis, sundresses, whatever. I think it looks better if they wear a strapless bra, but that is a personal aesthetic preference. I think a guy who tells his wife she is too old to wear something, and it isn't attractive anymore is kind of a jerk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted. I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. What in the world is wrong with shoulders? And just because a woman says that other women should be able to wear what they want, it doesn't say anything about what she would personally wear. I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? Dressing WHAT way? The OP doesn't give examples, but I see lots of strapless tops that aren't showing anything "private." I think some people just like to think the worst of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 If we're talking tube tops, I don't care who wears them at the pool or the beach. Anywhere else? I think that no one should wear them. :ohmy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 They should wear what they like and are comfortable in. She might choose not to wear it in the presence if her husband simply because she wants to make him happy, but it's still her body and nobody has the right to tell her how to dress. My DH strongly disliked one particular dress I used to wear (he felt it was too tent like); I got rid of it because it made him happy, but not because I feel he has the right to dictate my clothing choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? I fail to see what is inappropriate about bare shoulders. And why should their problem trump the woman's right to dress the way it makes her feel good? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. I don't think anyone is talking about flashing what's underneath their clothes. ?? And I don't think everyone thinks what's under their clothes is so horrifying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Do you think it makes a difference if the woman's husband is against it? (And I don't mean modesty reasons. I mean he says it is not attractive.) "against it"? No. If I ask my husband "does this dress flatter me" I know that I can trust him to give me a loving opinion, just as if I asked my sister or my best friend. And if I ask (ASK being the operative word here) then I take that into account, but he doesn't get the final say. But he doesn't get to dictate my wardrobe choices and I don't dictate his. I don't always think his colour combos work, I detest his shoes on a regular basis, I think he needs a haircut about 2 years ago, etc. He hasn't asked so I keep my mouth shut. It's not my business. I think a number of women on here would run around naked if it was permitted. I prefer to keep what is under my clothes to myself. I don't feel the need to share it with the entire world. I'm sure they would thank me for not subjecting them to the horror of it. I've also had numerous men tell me that they feel very uncomfortable with women dressing that way. I know some of you will tell me to tell them just not to look, but why should they have to walk around looking at the ground to avoid seeing inappropriately dressed women? Are you saying that I should walk up to complete strangers and ask them their state of arousal in response to my dress? I think I might get in more trouble for doing than then wearing a tube top. And, Luanne, how do I know what will offend someone on any given day? What is your solution to who gets to make the rules? Do you cover yourself from the crown of your head to your toes? How do you know you are not offending someone by showing an ankle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 There was no "I don't see why they're even manufactured" option. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songsparrow Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I agree that people should wear what they like. However, I can't ever remember seeing anyone - young, old, or in between, skinny, plus size, or in between - who I saw wearing a strapless top and I thought "wow, she looks really cute in that!" Usually, I think they look less than flattering. I think they generally make the b00ks look droopy, and they reveal any lumps or bulges in an unflattering light. (I'm referring to casual strapless tops here, with elastic or shirring, and not strapless formal dresses with boning and shaping.) I find a halter top or camisole with spaghetti straps to be much more flattering. Personally, I have no desire to wear one. Since I need more than just a shelf bra, wearing a strapless top necessitates wearing a strapless bra and they are never comfortable. Add to that the need to hike it up periodically, which is unattractive, and I'll just pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticmomma Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Who the hell cares what kind of shirts old ladies wear? Shouldn't matter. Gravity's just a theory, anyway....so we can't really say what's going on inside the top. This made me lol! Gravity is just a theory. Haha Anyway, I agree that people should where what they want, when they want. I encourage my children to be venue appropriate, weather appropriate, etc. I rarely ever veto their choices. If I were asked, or if something struck me as accidental (my nipples were showing through an old shirt that had become sheer, and it wasn't until a friend told me one evening that I knew... I was embarrassed knowing that I had been wearing this outside some evenings chatting with the neighbors) I would be lovingly and discretely honest. Otherwise... It's not my place to judge and I try very much to avoid making assumptions based on what some wear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm with the "I don't care what other people wear, but I would not wear one myself" group. I don't see the appeal. So often when I see people out in strapless tops they are constantly adjusting them, so they are obviously not comfortable in the clothing. So I don't get that. I hate fiddling with my clothing. As to my husband... my husband doesn't go around giving me fashion advice so if he ever says something does not flatter me, I take it seriously. Just as he takes it seriously if I suggest to him that something he is wearing is not flattering to him. I don't see what's offensive about it. I appreciate another point of view. And, if he just hated something? I'd not wear it around him. There are ties he likes that I hate, so he doesn't wear them around me. I don't see the point of wearing something around the love of my life that I know he thinks looks terrible. It's funny, but I know a lot of women who don't think twice about giving their husbands unsolicited clothing advice, but get angry if the husband says something about her clothing. (Not talking about anyone here, but people I know IRL). I just find that puzzling and weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'd faint if dh ever mentioned my clothing, because I don't think I've ever heard him comment except positively- ever. He is either a genius or doesn't even notice...I still haven't decided which it is. So if he disliked a style, I wouldn't wear it probably, because if he noticed enough to comment, well, I'd want to respect that. Unless it was something like pants, or underwear...yeah, I'm still going to wear underwear dh, sorry buddy. I think they only look nice on bigger breasted gals with soft shoulders. I have no boobs at all, bony shoulders and visible collarbones and ribs. Not cute, and impossible to keep up anyway. But if someone bony and old (ie, me) wants to wear one, I don't care. I just don't think it looks nice is all. I'm sitting here in a bleach stained t shirt from 2006 (it has a date on it) and ratty denim shorts though, so I'm not really one to judge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I voted wear whatever. I am unclear on what you mean by older though... 20s, 50s, 70s? Anyways, I guess I'm a huge minority here but I wear strapless dresses fairly often and I have one or two tops that are also strapless. I love the dresses, they are super comfortable and cool (I live in hawaii so I always feel as though I might die from the heat at any given moment). In honor of this thread I'll wear one today. :) I'm also 33, not skinny and huge bOOks. Women should dress in whatever makes them comfortable and feel good, other people's opinions on that are not relevant to anything. Men should not leave their houses if they have a hard time being in the presence of women who aren't dressed with them in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I don't typically care what other people wear. There was a guy at a food festival wearing a shirt with the phrase "I'm Not Mr. Right, but I'll F*** Until He Shows Up" printed on it(while pushing his son in a stroller) and I would have preferred he not, but I really, really don't have a say in how other people dress. I don't wear tube tops, because I feel I have to wear a bra and because I don't like how they look. If I do wear something my husband hates, I try not to wear it again around him. OTOH, I have the comfiest ever nightgown and he hates it. I still wear it on occasion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Amidst all the "people should feel free to wear whatever they want to wear," I'll interject this: It can be most beneficial to take a dear, honest friend shopping with you. In my side job I see folks all the time, dressed in their "best" to celebrate milestone occasions. It is very easy to tell who did not get a second opinion on an outfit that a friend could have pointed out something like, "Oh, you can't see this, but the lining in the back is so short that when you bend over, everything shows through the sheer layer!" In the case of the tube top, if my husband didn't like it enough that he commented on it, I wouldn't wear it. But that's me. I'm also in the camp of deep/wide cleavage beyond a certain age is not flattering. What I really want to know is, are you actually comfortable in a tube top? Personally, I wouldn't be. These days I need support and an uplifting strapless br@ for daily wear is not worth the discomfort of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I wear a good strapless bra so I am quite comfortable. I would say my strapless is more comfortable than some of my regular ones and it does the job to keep the girls in their place. And my dh also likes them, he seems to like everything I wear but he loves when I wear dresses or skirts which is about 80% of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Amidst all the "people should feel free to wear whatever they want to wear," I'll interject this: It can be most beneficial to take a dear, honest friend shopping with you. In my side job I see folks all the time, dressed in their "best" to celebrate milestone occasions. It is very easy to tell who did not get a second opinion on an outfit that a friend could have pointed out something like, "Oh, you can't see this, but the lining in the back is so short that when you bend over, everything shows through the sheer layer!" In the case of the tube top, if my husband didn't like it enough that he commented on it, I wouldn't wear it. But that's me. I'm also in the camp of deep/wide cleavage beyond a certain age is not flattering. What I really want to know is, are you actually comfortable in a tube top? Personally, I wouldn't be. These days I need support and an uplifting strapless br@ for daily wear is not worth the discomfort of it! I was at a wedding recently and the bride's dress was lovely, but she had not been well-served by the people who sold it to her, or by any companions who helped her choose it. She needed some sort of slip! Though she was not fat at all, there were obvious lumps, bulges, and lines visible. Since during much of the ceremony she stood with her back to the wedding guests, it was hard not to notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm with the "I don't care what other people wear, but I would not wear one myself" group. I don't see the appeal. So often when I see people out in strapless tops they are constantly adjusting them, so they are obviously not comfortable in the clothing. So I don't get that. I hate fiddling with my clothing. As to my husband... my husband doesn't go around giving me fashion advice so if he ever says something does not flatter me, I take it seriously. Just as he takes it seriously if I suggest to him that something he is wearing is not flattering to him. I don't see what's offensive about it. I appreciate another point of view. And, if he just hated something? I'd not wear it around him. There are ties he likes that I hate, so he doesn't wear them around me. I don't see the point of wearing something around the love of my life that I know he thinks looks terrible. It's funny, but I know a lot of women who don't think twice about giving their husbands unsolicited clothing advice, but get angry if the husband says something about her clothing. (Not talking about anyone here, but people I know IRL). I just find that puzzling and weird. This is pretty much my view. I wasn't paying attention to the top of the woman in the story, but after he dh said his piece about it, I did think his assessment was correct. He was not nice about it, though. I don't think he should have been so crass, but OTOH, if dh had privately already given me his opinion of the top and I wore it anyway, I would say perhaps I was inviting his disapproval. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I don't wear magical clothing anymore. I wore tube tops around the house and they looked fine. But ONE DAY I went to sleep on our hammock, wearing a tube top, and when I woke up, it had turned into a BELT! No more magical clothing for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Who the hell cares what kind of shirts old ladies wear? Shouldn't matter. Gravity's just a theory, anyway....so we can't really say what's going on inside the top. :lol: :lol: :lol: I see it all of the time here in Hawaii. Women of all ages in strapless tops, bikinis, sundresses, whatever. I think it looks better if they wear a strapless bra, but that is a personal aesthetic preference. I think a guy who tells his wife she is too old to wear something, and it isn't attractive anymore is kind of a jerk. Same in Southern CA and in AZ. You see a lot of skin in these areas and it doesn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Can we take a moment to ponder why a tiny little strap across the shoulder is some people's dividing line between appropriate and inappropriate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I don't wear magical clothing anymore. I wore tube tops around the house and they looked fine. But ONE DAY I went to sleep on our hammock, wearing a tube top, and when I woke up, it had turned into a BELT! No more magical clothing for me. Nicely stated! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 This is pretty much my view. I wasn't paying attention to the top of the woman in the story, but after he dh said his piece about it, I did think his assessment was correct. He was not nice about it, though. I don't think he should have been so crass, but OTOH, if dh had privately already given me his opinion of the top and I wore it anyway, I would say perhaps I was inviting his disapproval. Quite honestly I think a man who criticizes his wife's anything (or a woman who criticizes her husband's anything) in public is an absolute boor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Quite honestly I think a man who criticizes his wife's anything (or a woman who criticizes her husband's anything) in public is an absolute boor. For certain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Tube tops don't look good on anyone....no matter what your age. Just say no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Quite honestly I think a man who criticizes his wife's anything (or a woman who criticizes her husband's anything) in public is an absolute boor. So I missed that this was some guy publicly commenting on his wife's clothing choice. Yeah that's jerky. My husband and I don't criticize each other in public. (Well we don't really criticize each other in private either, but you know what I mean.) Say something @ home before going out, or keep quiet about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Not around here she shouldn't; she'd be burned to a crisp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Tube tops don't look good on anyone....no matter what your age. Just say no. Not everyone wears them to impress others or to try to look nice. I wear them because I am especially bothered by heat and it's a few less square inches of skin to stick to fabric. Also, because I don't care what people think. Man, this conversation makes me glad I don't dress for other people. There are always critics. Shoulders, ankles, what next, hands? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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