mliss Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I think I just gave away a kitten to one of “those†people. I had a woman show up this morning to get a kitten and the instant she walked through my door I felt a strong wash of bad energy from her – but despite my uncomfortable feelings I let her take a kitten anyway. After the woman left, my normally stoic daughter had a complete emotional meltdown and cried for hours. By evening all of us were still unhappy so I called the woman on the phone, explained how upset my daughter was and got to “we’d like the kitten back†when the line went dead. I left a message however she never called back and I don’t think she will. I suspect by now the poor kitten is either maimed or dead :crying: So, why couldn’t I tell this woman No? In the past I’ve had similar bad feelings about something and at times failed to listen – often with disastrous results. So what should I have said? Maybe just, “I changed my mind� And then the person argues with you and then what? Please help me know how to be more assertive. I need a list of pat answers I can use. I’m just sick about this. DD is so happy because I tried to call the woman and get the kitty back. What is going to happen when she finds out kitty isn’t coming back? (And yes, I'm praying I'm wrong but my gut feeling says otherwise.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This happens to all of us at one time or another. We have all said the wrong thing or not be as assertive as we later wished we had been. I am, however, deeply disturbed why someone would adopt a kitten to maim or kill it????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This happens to all of us at one time or another. We have all said the wrong thing or not be as assertive as we later wished we had been. I am, however, deeply disturbed why someone would adopt a kitten to maim or kill it????? They use them to train dogs for dogfighting. A fighting dog has to be trained to kill. So dishonest people like this horrible woman get free animals and train their fight dogs. It's terrible. OP, I am so sorry!!! You never meant to give the kitten to the bad woman. You know what probably happened. But don't tell your daughter right now, because it's too horrid, and there is nothing you can do now. You are a good person which is why you gave this person the benefit of the doubt. Continue to do that for your daughter although you know the most likely outcome. About your original question, I am terrible at saying no. I am terrible at saying anything that causes conflict until it's really bad. I tend to do something like: Oh my goodness I am so sorry it turns out my husband is calling me (looks at phone) and we have to go--he is waiting for us. Or something like that. And then I would leave my house. That's how I get rid of weirdos accosting me in the street asking me for a ride to the airport or weird stuff like that. I don't know how to say no. Because they might get mad, and I dread that. I am sorry. Please don't beat yourself up about it. It's not your fault that some people are terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is a learned skill for some of us: stopping the direction we've been heading in and listening to our gut feelings. Don't beat yourself up for this, you were acting well within the norm for what people do. It's normal to give kittens away to someone who promises to give them a good home. However, use this as your catalyst moment, the one that will be your "never again" touchpoint. I remember my touchpoint very well, and I've been a better parent because of it. For me it has been about valuing the inner messages that I get instead of ignoring them or suppressing them. Listening when my wisdom throws a red flag. Not convincing myself that "it'll really be OK," when I get a "be careful" instinct, and then being sorry when what I imagined might happen did indeed go wrong. My go to phrases: "I've changed my mind. I've learned to trust my instincts. It just doesn't feel right to me. I'm not comfortable with that." Wash, rinse, repeat if warranted (only with children.) If necessary (with weirdos and boundary-less family,) follow with, "I said no." Good luck with this, mama, and I'm sure others will give you good advice about the kitten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 :grouphug: I have been where you are and done the same thing. It isn't easy. I am so terribly sorry. I did, the next time that it happened, tell the family trying to adopt a cat we had rescued that after seeing how the animal reacted to them I felt it was a bad fit and would not be giving away the animal that day. They were unhappy, but I stayed firm. It wasn't easy. I felt rude. But the vibes I was getting (and the cat, too) were NOT good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I've never heard of this and sooo hope you are wrong. You could consider writing a pet contract similar to what breeders do in future... That owners agree to desex and send a pic in six months. It's definitely not foolproof but can slow people down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 The lesson that I'm slowly learning is to never commit or show full commitment in advance. Always leave yourself some wiggle out room. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mliss Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is a learned skill for some of us: stopping the direction we've been heading in and listening to our gut feelings. Don't beat yourself up for this, you were acting well within the norm for what people do. It's normal to give kittens away to someone who promises to give them a good home. However, use this as your catalyst moment, the one that will be your "never again" touchpoint. I remember my touchpoint very well, and I've been a better parent because of it. For me it has been about valuing the inner messages that I get instead of ignoring them or suppressing them. Listening when my wisdom throws a red flag. Not convincing myself that "it'll really be OK," when I get a "be careful" instinct, and then being sorry when what I imagined might happen did indeed go wrong. My go to phrases: "I've changed my mind. I've learned to trust my instincts. It just doesn't feel right to me. I'm not comfortable with that." Wash, rinse, repeat if warranted (only with children.) If necessary (with weirdos and boundary-less family,) follow with, "I said no." Good luck with this, mama, and I'm sure others will give you good advice about the kitten. Thanks. This is what I needed. Several years back I had a "never again touchpoint" with regards to advice my husband gave me about our ill son. I waited to go to the emergency room when I shouldn't have and, although everything turned out right in the end, I decided then and there that when my mommy instinct kicked in I would trust it - no matter what my husband said to the contrary. Now I just need to practice applying my gut feelings to complete strangers. Oh, and I'm going to practice the phrases your recommended. Seriously. I need things I can say without being required to think about them first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Honestly, I doubt I would call you back, and I know I wouldn't bring the kitten back after taking it home. I would think it was weird, and I would just go about my way. You can say no before giving it away, but you can't expect people to bring it back. I promise I'm not a crazed cat maimer, and I bet this lady isn't either. It's possible, but odds are she won't do any worse than give him a dreadful name and wait too long to change his litter box. Tell your dd that the woman obviously cared too much for the kitten already to want to bring him back, and get mama cat fixed so you don't have to worry about this again. Cats land on their feet. Kitty will be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mliss Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Honestly, I doubt I would call you back, and I know I wouldn't bring the kitten back after taking it home. I would think it was weird, and I would just go about my way. You can say no before giving it away, but you can't expect people to bring it back. I promise I'm not a crazed cat maimer, and I bet this lady isn't either. Tell your dd that the woman obviously cared too much for the kitten already to want to bring him back, and get mama cat fixed so you don't have to worry about this again. I wish I could believe this but I can't. We gave away another kitten a couple hours later and, while I didn't feel like the kitty was going to a great home, I felt alright about the family that came. I did not feel the same about the first woman. The instant she stepped through my door I sensed that giving her a kitten was wrong. I believe my daughter felt something similar and that is why she became so grief stricken after the woman left. It was if I'd told her her grandmother had died. She cried for two hours non-stop and then did not come out of her room from 12:00 until 7:00 p.m. I have never seen my daughter so intensely emotional about anything. However, I will probably tell my daughter that the woman cared too much for the kitten to bring him back (even though I don't feel it's true), and mama cat already has an appointment with the vet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Oh no! So sorry to hear that! I hope she is just an animal lover, and the vibe you felt was because she isn't a people one. Hugs to you and your dd. :’( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 So, why couldn’t I tell this woman No? In the past I’ve had similar bad feelings about something and at times failed to listen – often with disastrous results. S I'm sorry. society has done a dandy job to teaching people to ignore their gut. (it seems, especially women.) there are many instances of people having reservations about something, but going ahead anyway - with disappointing or even disasterous outcomes. take this as a lesson for next time, and you'll know that 'gut-voice' is there for a reason and we all do well to listen to it. (okay, I'm religious, and I think the gut-voice comes from God, everyone has one, but it takes practice to learn to 'hear' it and then having the confidence and faith to act on it.) as you learn to trust that what you are hearing really is a "gut-voice" and not just normal doubts, you will have more strength to stand up against others/social-convention as you follow the gut-voice because it will always have your best interests at heart. you will do better next time because you realize how big of a mistake it was this time to ignore it. you've had a history of these experiences, so you are hearing, now have the confidence in yourself to act. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Honestly, I doubt I would call you back, and I know I wouldn't bring the kitten back after taking it home. I would think it was weird, and I would just go about my way. You can say no before giving it away, but you can't expect people to bring it back. I promise I'm not a crazed cat maimer, and I bet this lady isn't either. It's possible, but odds are she won't do any worse than give him a dreadful name and wait too long to change his litter box. Tell your dd that the woman obviously cared too much for the kitten already to want to bring him back, and get mama cat fixed so you don't have to worry about this again. Cats land on their feet. Kitty will be okay. I get what you are saying and I really hope you are right. However, we HAVE had incidents in our area where kittens and puppies were being purchased for training dogs to kill or for feeding large reptiles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I have adopted many pets and definitely would have brought the kitten back if you called. I would put out a heads up to other sellers/homes from wherever you advertised, too. OP, listen to your gut. :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camelfeet Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 When giving away kittens for adoption I always had a questionnaire that needed to be completed and a fee that needs to be paid. The fee isn't to make money, but to keep people looking to abuse animals away because they usually don't want to pay for it. And I believe if you can't afford a fee to adopt the cat, how are you going to afford getting the animal its shots and providing it with proper vet care? TBH, I would not have given the cat back to you if I adopted it, especially if I went through the trouble of spending $$$ on a cat dish/litter box/toys/bed/carrier ... Guts aren't always right. Just because this lady gave you a bad feeling doesn't mean she feeds cats to killer dogs or reptiles. Do a little internet stalking (not literally - but google her name, email address, phone number) and try to find out a bit about her if its eating you up that much. Did she ask for the other kittens, or even to adopt mommy cat? If she wanted to feed the cats to fighting dogs, its always better to try for as many kittens as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 We have all done that; we are only human. It's always easier to put facts together and make sense of our "gut feelings" in hind site. Don't beat yourself up about it. Besides, you really have no idea how this woman is treating the kitten. If I got a new kitten that I was excited about, I might not be too happy about answering a phone call from the seller saying they wanted him back. Maybe she was someone who seemed strange but was not evil -- just going through hard times. Maybe a new kitten is just what she needed! I have a pretty good gut feeling. I usually trust it. But, I've been off, too. I listen to my gut but I always weigh it against other things. Sometimes my emotions come on way too strong and what feels right, really isn't. None of us will ever get this down to an exact science. We deal with decisions every waking hour, some of them easy, some of them difficult. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we don't. It's all part of the human experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Ug . . . that is a terrible feeling. I really hope you won't beat yourself up about it and can choose to hope for the best. In that situation I would probably feign a misunderstanding. "Oh, sorry to not be clear but my purpose in having you over today was to see whether this is a good fit. I will contact you tomorrow if we choose your home for one of our kittens." On the other hand, remember that you owe the woman nothing, so saying flat out "no" or "please leave" is fine. I have a dear friend who trusted her instinct and made a decision that made no logical sense and had many people she loved initially very angry. It also prevented the absolute worst thing imaginable from happening to her daughter. I try to remember this when I need courage to trust my instincts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mliss Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 there are many instances of people having reservations about something, but going ahead anyway - with disappointing or even disasterous outcomes. take this as a lesson for next time, and you'll know that 'gut-voice' is there for a reason and we all do well to listen to it. (okay, I'm religious, and I think the gut-voice comes from God, everyone has one, but it takes practice to learn to 'hear' it and then having the confidence and faith to act on it.) as you learn to trust that what you are hearing really is a "gut-voice" and not just normal doubts, you will have more strength to stand up against others/social-convention as you follow the gut-voice because it will always have your best interests at heart. you will do better next time because you realize how big of a mistake it was this time to ignore it. you've had a history of these experiences, so you are hearing, now have the confidence in yourself to act. :) This is exactly what I am going through. There have been plenty of times I've ignored the feelings I've had (and I too believe they are from God) and had a bad outcome. For instance, a couple years ago I had an insistent feeling I shouldn't let the dental hygienist polish my teeth, but I couldn't get her a good reason not to proceed. She made me feel stupid and I caved in to her insistence and slightly condescending attitude. End result was the hygienist was too rough and managed to remove a third of my recent tissue graft, plus cause an additional area of recession. God tried to prevent me from having my mouth damaged but I did not have the confidence to move past feeling stupid and insist on doing the right thing. The kitty incident is the pinnacle of not listening and I am taking this as a lesson for next time. From now on I'm going to try to have the confidence to stand up for what I know, whether I offend or not. I'm hoping this is a pivotal turning point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Animal rights groups say to not offer free pets because of what has been mentioned, used to train fight dogs. I'm not saying that's what happened, just putting that out there so that next time you have an extra kitten, you know to charge something for it. Hype up your ad so it sounds like a choice kitten too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Can you follow up with authorities? Does animal control handle these cases or the local cops? I don't see a cop completely dismissing your gut, even if they can't act upon it it can be a piece of a larger puzzle. If the kitten is fine, they'll see it and just peg you as a little nutty. If the kitten is gone, they'll know to keep an eye on the situation and it could save some animals in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 This is exactly what I am going through. There have been plenty of times I've ignored the feelings I've had (and I too believe they are from God) and had a bad outcome. For instance, a couple years ago I had an insistent feeling I shouldn't let the dental hygienist polish my teeth, but I couldn't get her a good reason not to proceed. She made me feel stupid and I caved in to her insistence and slightly condescending attitude. End result was the hygienist was too rough and managed to remove a third of my recent tissue graft, plus cause an additional area of recession. God tried to prevent me from having my mouth damaged but I did not have the confidence to move past feeling stupid and insist on doing the right thing. The kitty incident is the pinnacle of not listening and I am taking this as a lesson for next time. From now on I'm going to try to have the confidence to stand up for what I know, whether I offend or not. I'm hoping this is a pivotal turning point. :grouphug: I'm really sorry. CC...I try to pray to the Holy Spirit for strength in situations like these. Another thing is to have a routine for when you get "that feeling." I say, "Wait, I need a minute" to slow the situation down. I practice saying it so the words come out almost without thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I didn't get a chance to read all the responses. My go-to phrase when I'm having a hard time saying no is "Great! Give me a day to sort things out and I'll get back to you. Is it better to reach you by phone e-mail?" The delay gives me enough time to sort out my feelings, and then I have the opportunity to say no via phone or e-mail if I need to, which is always easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Even though you plan on telling your daughter that the woman loved the kitten too much, I would also have a conversation with her about how much you wished you had listened to your gut. And, that you are going to try to do so in the future. Have you ever heard of micro-expressions? People will briefly show what they are truly thinking with their facial expression and then the brain clamps down and puts on the Face We Show The World. We often see these and react to them without realizing we saw them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I'm not saying not to trust your gut (quite the opposite), but there are plenty of reasons the lady could've had a bad energy. Maybe she was picking up the kitten for her daughter who pestered and pestered for months and was just now diagnosed with a chronic health condition and she had a fight with her allergic to cats husband about it, and now she was angry and frustrated and doubting her decision and thinking about hospital bills for her daughter and what kind of life her daughter will have, and the vet bills , and she might not even like cats and wanted a dog, but her daughter wanted a kitten and she gave in. Or she had a speeding ticket on the way to your place, has anxiety disorder and ran out of her medication, or is simply b*tchy and socially awkward. None of this means the kitten wouldn't be loved and cared for. When we were adopting our rats I didn't look very happy about it either. I was all business, pick them up and let's go. I don't like rats. This doesn't mean my daughter isn't the bestest rat owner a rat can imagine and our rats aren't in the largest bestest cage there is, eating organic fresh fruits. Ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Around here they'd probably roll their eyes. Really you can't just go around accusing people of stuff for no reason at all. Not liking someone in some vague sort of way is not a reason. :iagree: I can't imagine calling the police. There is no crime nor even a reasonable cause to suspect a crime. I think the police would consider that a waste of time and possibly even filing a false report. The person could possibly press some sort of harassment charge. OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 There is a book along the lines of trusting your gut. It is geared to personal safety. I believe it was written by a police officer or security professional. It may have been profiled on Oprah years back. It has been discussed on this board before, so I am hoping someone here will know the title. Anyway, it would probably be a good read for the OP since she wants to gain experience and strength in this area of her life. I found it: The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker http://www.amazon.com/Other-Survival-Signals-Protect-Violence/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402501321&sr=1-1&keywords=the+gift+of+fear And remember, you don't know for sure what the woman will do with the kitten. There are certainly more regular kitten adopters than fighting dog owners out there. Let your heart take some ease in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Around here they'd probably roll their eyes. Really you can't just go around accusing people of stuff for no reason at all. Not liking someone in some vague sort of way is not a reason. :iagree: I can't imagine calling the police. There is no crime nor even a reasonable cause to suspect a crime. I think the police would consider that a waste of time and possibly even filing a false report. The person could possibly press some sort of harassment charge. OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. :grouphug: Filing a false report generally means you deliberately lie to the police about a crime occurring. If mliss called the non-emergency police line and told them the situation and asked for information about the prevalence of dog-fighting in her area, that would NOT be filing a false report. If she called them, gave the woman's name and said this woman took my kitten for bait to train fighting dogs, THAT would be filing a false report. I don't see anything wrong with the first situation I described. Or she could call her local animal control and do the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Filing a false report generally means you deliberately lie to the police about a crime occurring. If mliss called the non-emergency police line and told them the situation and asked for information about the prevalence of dog-fighting in her area, that would NOT be filing a false report. If she called them, gave the woman's name and said this woman took my kitten for bait to train fighting dogs, THAT would be filing a false report. I don't see anything wrong with the first situation I described. Or she could call her local animal control and do the same thing. Thanks for the correction about the false report - I was thinking incorrectly about that and what you say makes more sense. I would still not involve the police. Even if they said dog-fighting is prevalent in her area, she has nothing to go on about that particular woman. I might call animal control or ASPCA for advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Another thing people can (and should) do when giving away pets, even when charging a small rehoming fee, is to get the person's name and address beforehand, along with a personal reference and a vet reference. Tell them to call their references and tell them you will be calling. You can Google the person! Call their references. Ask the vet what their address is to see if it matches the information you have. Check the phone number, too ... maybe they have a landline and you have only got their cell phone number. Find out how many pets they have and whether they have been taken to the vet routinely for check ups and vaccinations, as well as sick care. Ask the vet whether they recommend that you give over your pet to this person. Personal references, btw, do not always tell the checker that everything is great. Begin by saying that the conversation you have is confidential -- you will not tell the potential owner what transpired during the conversation. You can require a homecheck too. You just go to the person's home (with another adult for safety), meet all the people and pets who live there, look around (you are not doing a police search), and go with your gut feeling ... would you let your personal pet stay there while you are on vacation? If you are rehoming a dog that requires a fenced yard, check to make sure the fence is secured on all sides and that it is at least 4' high. All this before you hand over the pet! Also, I would not let a stranger come to my house, I'd meet that person in a neutral area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mliss Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Thanks for all the advice. I don't feel like calling the police. I think that would be going above and beyond what they could, or would be willing, to handle. My go-to phrase when I'm having a hard time saying no is "Great! Give me a day to sort things out and I'll get back to you. Is it better to reach you by phone e-mail?" The delay gives me enough time to sort out my feelings, and then I have the opportunity to say no via phone or e-mail if I need to, which is always easier. I'm going to write this one down and rehearse it. Even though you plan on telling your daughter that the woman loved the kitten too much, I would also have a conversation with her about how much you wished you had listened to your gut. And, that you are going to try to do so in the future. I will talk to my daughter in a few days when we have all calmed down. Also, I think her deep feelings were telling her that I was doing the wrong thing, only she deferred to my decision because I am an adult and her mother. I don't want her to continue thinking that her overwhelming feelings of wrongness or rightness should be suppressed and subordinated to adult authority. I've had The Gift of Fear on my library book list for months. Now I'm finally feeling motivated to check it out. We still have three kittens and if I decide give one more away I will definitely follow all the great advice I received here about getting a name and address, charging a rehoming fee, etc. Finally, I'm going to use my new found gut-feeling-confindence skills and reassert that I KNOW I gave the kitten to the wrong person. I know it so deep down that no one could convince me otherwise. I'm sticking to that and I'm determined to learn from this experience and never repeat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmhearn Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I once adopted a dog who was referred to me by a third person. Apparently, the people who gave up the dog were thoroughly convinced that I had adopted the dog in order to give him to a company that performed cosmetic testing on animals. (I am not making this up.) They started calling and leaving messages. I assumed they were insane and didn't respond. They actually called the police who then called me to set up an appointment to check on the dog. I complied and the police just said to ignore the calls after that. The dog was 5 years old at the time. I kept him until he died 12 years later. Yes, the dog lived to be 17 years old. And, no, he was never used for cosmetic testing. :-) All of this to say that it is possible the woman is normal and just thinks you're crazy for trying to get the cat back. Also, if you are concerned, try googling as someone else mentioned. If something concerning comes up, you could probably get the police to check into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 The dog was 5 years old at the time. I kept him until he died 12 years later. Yes, the dog lived to be 17 years old. And, no, he was never used for cosmetic testing. :-) So you are not the poster her regularly draws eyebrows on her dog and then provides photographic evidence? Sorry, couldn't resist. Carry on. :smilielol5: :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I'm not saying not to trust your gut (quite the opposite), but there are plenty of reasons the lady could've had a bad energy. Maybe she was picking up the kitten for her daughter who pestered and pestered for months and was just now diagnosed with a chronic health condition and she had a fight with her allergic to cats husband about it, and now she was angry and frustrated and doubting her decision and thinking about hospital bills for her daughter and what kind of life her daughter will have, and the vet bills , and she might not even like cats and wanted a dog, but her daughter wanted a kitten and she gave in. Or she had a speeding ticket on the way to your place, has anxiety disorder and ran out of her medication, or is simply b*tchy and socially awkward. None of this means the kitten wouldn't be loved and cared for. When we were adopting our rats I didn't look very happy about it either. I was all business, pick them up and let's go. I don't like rats. This doesn't mean my daughter isn't the bestest rat owner a rat can imagine and our rats aren't in the largest bestest cage there is, eating organic fresh fruits. Ha. I just had to say...dd has 2 girl ratties. They love banana but do not get organic. :tongue_smilie: Trying to put myself in both shoe sets. If the rat lady had called the next day and wanted the rats back, I can't imagine what I would have done. I wouldn't hang up on her, but there would have been no way I could have returned them. Dd was attached before we even had them in our hands. On the other side, I do think it is very possible to get vibes about situations. I am a people-pleaser and can be really bad about ignoring vibes. :sad: I have been proven right and I have been off in surprising ways. I have no doubt you picked up on something about this person and situation. Let's hope that it's not what you think it is. I'm with the others. Create a simple document for any future animal dealings. Chances are the 'wrong people' will pass on the hassle. Hopefully, you just won't be in a position of having to do this again. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Well, I would advertise the rest of the kittens with a $50 or whatever re-homing/adoption fee. Look online for a simple adoption contract, if you want. Not to discount your gut feeling, OP, but I think the leaps made by some posters that this woman is obviously using the kitten for bait or is otherwise a "terrible person" are a bit of a....stretch, to put it mildly. Could that be what happens? Possibly. Is it definitely the fate of the kitten? No. You have no idea. That kitten may have gone to a perfectly adequate home. Not one of us knows one way or the other, and I don't think we're doing the OP any favors by taking it upon ourselves to make that judgement call. If you called me wanting the kitten back I'd hang up on you, too. So I wouldn't take that as confirmation that the woman was a bad home for the cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 We sell puppies. There have been several times that my mom has been worried to death that she gave a puppy to a bad home. Almost every time she finds out her fears were unfounded. Sometimes people are having a off day or just come across different than you are used to. I hope this turns out to be the case with you. Just because the woman hung up on you does not mean she gave the kitten a bad home. Could be she got attached and does not want to give it up. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kebo Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I would call again and offer to buy the kitten back. I would feel like I owed it to the kitten and my daughter. Then charge a small fee for the remaining kittens and come out even. I am sorry for all the stress and sadness. It's hard to know how to do the right thing sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I didn't say it would be a false report, but if someone called me up and I'm the police and they said, "someone I gave a cat to rubbed me the wrong way" what am I supposed to do with that information? What exactly did the person say or do that made them seem suspicious? Maybe I come across as weird. I don't smile much. I tend not to make eye contact because people close to my face look blurry due to crappy vision. I'm quiet. Maybe I'd seem suspicious. But I wouldn't harm a fly. The other person I quoted along with you mentioned false report. But I addressed why and how I think contacting the police could be a valid option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I just had to say...dd has 2 girl ratties. They love banana but do not get organic. :tongue_smilie: Trying to put myself in both shoe sets. If the rat lady had called the next day and wanted the rats back, I can't imagine what I would have done. I wouldn't hang up on her, but there would have been no way I could have returned them. Dd was attached before we even had them in our hands. On the other side, I do think it is very possible to get vibes about situations. I am a people-pleaser and can be really bad about ignoring vibes. :sad: I have been proven right and I have been off in surprising ways. I have no doubt you picked up on something about this person and situation. Let's hope that it's not what you think it is. I'm with the others. Create a simple document for any future animal dealings. Chances are the 'wrong people' will pass on the hassle. Hopefully, you just won't be in a position of having to do this again. :grouphug: Same here. There's no way I would have been able to return them. I can see myself hanging up--I'd be in shock at the idea of the previous owner now wanting them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 If I were the woman with the kitten, I would not sell it back. I think it's a rather mean thing to even ask. On the other hand, if the kitten was indeed bought to be used in dog fights, they are likely to be tempted to sell it if good money is offered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 When I was a child we gave a cat back. It was the cat of one of dad's friends. The couple almost got a divorce over the fact that he "sold" the cat for -$1. Dad was willing to just give them the cat back. But, then on the phone she was a complete witch to my dad so he changed his mind. Then mom got an offer to relocate at work to someplace desirable. So, Dad offered to sell the cat back for the price of neutering. It was a truly excellent cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.