?s for those who are debt free

[Soror]

* I'm not try to offend anyone. I know we are blessed or lucky (depending on your beliefs). We thank God daily for our blessings.

 

I'm hoping to get the perspective of others in a similar place. As I posted before we paid off the house at the beginning of this year. We've been trying to determine our new priorities and goals but sometimes I wonder if we are doing it "right." After being so tight it is hard to figure out if something is a worthwhile luxury or a waste of money. We could use newer vehicles(our van is an '01 and the car a '95) but to be honest it is still not something we care much about. We are saving to replace the van but we are not in a hurry, as it is we should have the van fund done in Jan. I want to take a European vacation as well in a couple of years. It is also nice being able to donate to worthy causes without worry, although I have a hard time figuring out how much is prudent. There is no end of people and causes who could use donations.

 

There are always projects around the house we'd like to do as well, finish the carport, build dh a shed, a small green house, solar power- there are just no ends of wants in this department. We want to be able to provide the kids with different opportunities as well, like summer camps and such.

 

So, how do you balance your long term goals with day to day wants?

- Do you go by percents or such?

 

What is your goal for retirement? (not asking for exact dollars but percents) The calculators are so all over the place.

 

- I think from what I've read I'd be happy if we had about 7-10x dh's annual income.

I'd like to keep increasing our 401k so dh has the option to retire earlier but we want to be able to enjoy the present as well. Dh makes a respectable living for our area but he works in a factory and I always worry about the long term prospects of his job. As it is now we have an EF that could last us a year and a few years if we had unemployment as well. As he would very likely need to get a degree to support us if he lost his current job I feel much better having a larger EF. I'd like to get us up to 25%+ or so in the 401k but dh is just ok with slowly increasing as he doesn't want to go back to being super tight.

 

 

What luxuries did you splurge on once you were more or less set?

 

-I've really splurged on curriculum this year.

 

-We took our first real family vacation out of state.

 

-I have allowed myself to buy used books at Goodwill, whereas before I never would because I could get it at the library but then I'd never make it to get myself books. I even bought a new book last week!

 

-I bought myself NEW pants, really pants that were made in this century and decade :) They were on sale and not name brand, although I did try on the name brand ones as I had decided I wanted at least 1 pair that fit decently and I was tired of buying lots of ill-fitting pairs. I've bought myself some other clothes as well.

 

- I bought myself a tracfone as I let my old one lapse for many months because I was too cheap to renew it.

 

- We still don't have cable but we did sign up for Hulu Plus in addition to Netflix

 

-I'm considering subscribing to the local paper as I enjoy reading it but dh still thinks it is too expensive- it's $10 month- LOL!

 

-I started going back to the stylist and even went to a curly girl stylist last month.

 

-I took the kids clothes shopping this year to round out what I was able to find used, the rest I bought new- although on sale or discounted on Ebay :)

[maize]

Really you are going to have to sort this out yourself, as you point out there will always be more good ways to use money than there is money. We are within a few years of paying off our house, my personal plan when that happens is to increase retirement and college savings, and spread the rest between separate funds we have set up for things like travel, cars, music, etc. We donate to our church and a couple other places, but I don't see us increasing donations significantly as long as we are raising our own family with so many needs.

[MIch elle]

I really enjoy reading Mr. Money Mustache's blog: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

 

I've also been a LONG time fan of  Your Money or Your Life  I've never followed their plan BUT I learned a LOT from reading the book.  Millionaire Next Door is another great read.

[Parrothead]

While you are still able to work, save as much as possible. Continue living like you are broke, and put your money away. You are going to need it later.

 

Little luxuries can be not having to worry about how you re going to pay for Christmas presents, not worrying where you are going to find the money for groceries and not worrying about the college fund.

 

Once your retirement is fully funded, then you can say you are financially secure.

[SKL]

My daughters are 6 so right now, I feel like spending money on their education / experiences is a good use - especially since I don't have a lot of time with them every day.  I've spent quite a bit on school tuition, summer camps, therapies, and extracurriculars over the past couple of years.  I take my kids to modest restaurants (like Panera) so we have more time to do these activities.  We have also gone on trips where we definitely paid for the conveniences that made them fit into our tight schedule.  And I've not held back on purchases of learning aids that seem helpful.  This will continue for the foreseeable future.

 

My car is about 11 years old, and I plan on keeping it running as long as I can, but once it goes, I plan to buy a nice car once for all.  :)

 

I have a lot of house repairs that are needed.  One thing I want to do is build on an addition so each girl will have her own room.

 

I help my extended family financially.

 

I mostly buy organic / healthy foods.

 

I am a co-founder of a charity which gets a chunk of my money each year, and I give to other charities that are near and dear to my heart.  I do not spread it around a lot as I would rather know more about where the money is going and give enough to make a difference.  I've been on nonprofit boards, so I know how much it costs to solicit those little donations that end up mostly paying salaries.  (I also do not want to receive a hundred mail solicitations per week.  ;) )

 

I pay people to do work around my house.  I figure it is good to give people an opportunity to work and earn.

 

I think it's worthwhile to spend some targeted money on my health and well-being, though I haven't done much of this so far.  I mean martial arts, yoga, massage, chiropractic, stuff like that.  Though a midday walk around the block would probably be just as good.  ;)

[PrincessMommy]

Millionaire Next Door is a great book.  Very encouraging and definitely recommend it.

 

I agree that you're going to have to figure it out on your own.  For one person paying a stylist to do hair would be frivolous, but to someone else it's a nice perk.  Same with cable or phone plans, etc.  And, these things will change as your children grow.  A big memorable family vacation to Europe was important when my kids were young (we went to Italy). But, it's much harder to do that realistically with two kids married, one grandchild, 3 in college, jobs, etc. etc. etc.   Now our extra income can go to helping the adult kids a little.  And, renting a big house in the woods for week and telling everyone to come when they can.  Stuff like that.   And of course, a lot of our money goes to college.  We timed paying off our house to coincide with our oldest hs grad.   We feel that paying for the kids college is money well spent -- and others may feel differently.  So yeah, it really is a family by family decision.

 

 

[Catwoman]

Honestly, I'm not sure I would call you financially secure unless you already have a fairly large amount of money in savings. It's great that your mortgage is paid off -- that's a huge achievement -- but unless you're also saying that you could pay cash to replace your cars or do all of the projects that you'd like done around the house without concern, and that you could live for years if neither you nor your dh was working, I'm not convinced about your financial security.

 

Also, I'm not sure why you would necessarily want to start living differently or spend more money just because your mortgage is paid off. Personally, I think your best course of action would be to sock away the mortgage payment amount every month and build up your savings. It sounds like you were happy without spending the extra cash, so I don't see any real reason to make a lifestyle change.

[Soror]

Perhaps I'm reading your tone wrong Chucki but I didn't mean to offend w/ the term financially secure. I wasn't sure the best way to phrase my question. Yes, we are not entirely secure as our retirement is not fully funded. It seems from the calculations we should have our retirement fund sufficient in about 10-15 yrs, depending on our rate of return. Of course there are always unforeseen variables but we can only go off the info we have at this time.

 

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids. Dh didn't even buy a pack of gum during the week. I patched holes in my underclothes w/ scraps of clothing. The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford more. It feels really miserly as well not to donate more now as well, since we can. I'd like to keep our savings rate high so we can get the retirement fund done sooner rather than later, as it would be a great peace of mind for me BUT I want to preserve marital happiness and don't want the kids to continue to do without everything b/c we are being cheap.

 

 

MiChelle- I did read MMM a lot but a lot of his info is aimed more at the very affluent single male (IMO). We cannot achieve his recommended saving rates even on our modest budget without my returning to work and dh and I would rather take longer to retire and have me at home, especially at the age of our kids. I need to re-read YMOYL, I found it so inspiring before and it would be good to revisit, especially now.

[Soror]

Yes, we could replace our vehicles w/ cash now, if we desired. We are saving more than what our mortgage payment was at this point. No, we couldn't do every project we would like to do but then again there are no projects that we feel we have to do either more things we would like to do. Right now we don't even have the time to do projects, so it isn't that big of a deal to us. We are not looking at a big change in lifestyle but trying to sort out a good place to be. As I said I'd like to really up our retirement savings more I'd like to give more as well. It is nice being able to have little luxuries, like being able to buy new clothes for the kids when I cannot find used, having clothes that fit me and such. But in our world where luxuries are so common it is hard to determine what is prudent or foolish.

[Chris in VA]

To be frank, when you are rejoicing over "A" pair of new pants, I think you are living a little too frugally and could loosen up a little. Just mo.:-)

[Ottakee]

Soror--it is very personal. We would like to live on 80% of our income, invest 10% and tithe/charity 10%. Ideally I would rather live on 70% and invest 20% but right now that isn't going to work.

 

I do think there needs to be a balance between saving for retirement, kids college, "the future", etc. and LIVING today. There is no guarantee that you and dh will both live to retirement age, that the kids will go to college, etc. My dh had a heart attack at 45 and while he is in good health now with no limitations it does make you aware that "tomorrow" might not be there.

 

We try to hit a balance of doing things with the kids now---special dad dates with the girls---takes one at a time out for breakfast or lunch to low cost places, family trips, attending local festivals, activities, etc.

 

It is hard to know where that balance is. Right now my girls would much rather have their horses and have money to put gas in the old suburban to haul us to local trail riding places than they would have the money to shop for new clothes at the mall. For them hand me downs/Goodwill, etc. clothes are just fine so we have the money for the horses. Ds would rather have a nicer mountain bike to go biking with dh than he would have the $ for fancy tennis shoes or clothes.

 

Tonight a friend is taking 3 or 4 of the kids out for the evening and taking them "out to eat"......which will consist of a $2 kid's meal at Wendy's. So for them to go out to eat once a week costs less than a family that goes out to eat "once a month" but eats at a much higher cost place.

 

A lot is just choices about what is important to you. I pay for a higher end smart phone as I use it extensively with 3 special needs kids plus a foster boy. Then again I get haircuts from a childhood friend and don't buy make up.

 

All that to say, figure out your priorities and make sure that you are enjoying life now as well as saving for the future.

[HRAAB]

We are debt free, but we nowhere near the place where we could spend money on unnecessary luxuries. Since '07 dh has been laid off twice, we've had a couple years of unemployment with sporadic contract work, dh's salary has decreased by 37%, and our retirement investments nose dived although they are coming back. I am so thankful we were debt free; it got us through those difficult times. Because of that, and knowing how unstable the job market is for dh, we still watch almost every penny we spend and save what is left over. Also, we're in our 50's (dh 55, me 53) so we are really feeling the pressure. I had hoped that someday we would be the position you describe, but life has many unexpected turns.

 

One thing though: I don't skimp on healthy, good food anymore. I've been there, done that, and if I have to, I could again, but I like good, healthy food. Oh, and I know it sounds silly, but I buy good shoes - no more cheap ones - and good bras!!!!

 

My advice would be to do a few of the things you have dreamed of but still plan for the unexpected and continue to prepare for it.

 

Congratulations on reaching a very big and difficult goal.

[MIch elle]

MMM is not single.  He's married and has one son.  I don't live the MMM lifestyle, but I like a lot of what he says.  His investment advice is excellent even if you don't save at his %.   He makes you THINK about what's important to YOU (or him and his family) and then finding ways of achieving that.

 

Like the others said, YOU have to find YOUR balance.  It's a daily thought process about what is going to give the most pleasure for the money and what that will cost on the back side of retirement. 

[Soror]

Yep, I know MMM isn't single but he and his wife made their money before kids and on salaries, which where I live, would be considered large. He was already retired by the time he had a kid and they only plan on 1 kid. As I said I do really enjoy a lot of his articles, I believe I've posted a link before but I don't always find it relatable. His board is really dominated by single rich dudes and I found it offputting but as you said there is a lot that is good in there as well. I should re-read his investing info, thanks for the reminder!

 

Ishki- that is great that you have been debt free through all your challenges. I like your rules, good bras, good shoes and good food :)

 

HeighHo- I agree with you on many "necessities" for kids.

 

We are blessed as as we are still fairly young, I'm 34 and dh is 37. I know there are no guarantees, which is why I want to save more and would prefer that we had our retirement account funded sooner rather than later. Dh has always said he would work until he is 70 but I think that is really not the best plan unless there is no other option, as I do know sometimes is unfortunately the case. But I also see that we could always save more.

[kbutton]

Well, we know another frugal family that spends money totally differently than we do, and yet we'd both be considered frugal. We have friends that thought we were totally freaks for using cloth diapers, so everyone has a limit, I guess. Some frugal opportunities aren't equally available to all--in some areas, thrift stores are either unavailable or very poorly stocked. If you want to loosen up a bit, I suggest spending money on things that improve your quality of life, make you smile, or free you up to do something that you think is more important, meaningful, or time efficient. If buying new underwear instead of patching them makes you smile and gives you time to do something that you feel is more meaningful, go for it. If patching your underwear doesn't bother you and you have the time to do it, find something else that will gain you more happy mileage or time to pursue something else. We have chosen to hire out some jobs because we have no outside family support that lives nearby, and we have a lot of personal craziness at home with special needs, etc. We try to balance time, money, and what we're actually good at when we make these decisions.

 

On giving, I would put my money where your religious convictions or personal needs/interests are. We support our local church, but nearly all of our other giving goes to the missionary account for some friends who are missionaries and who truly need the support. After that, we support special projects at church or sometimes local kids raising money for their extra-curriculars (we've sold a lot of Cub Scout popcorn ourselves). We'll also sometimes support organizations that offer podcasts or radio programs that we benefit from.

 

Congratulations on paying off your house. That is our next goal, along with some more intentional retirement planning.

[Pawz4me]

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids. Dh didn't even buy a pack of gum during the week. I patched holes in my underclothes w/ scraps of clothing. The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford

 

It IS hard to balance enjoying today versus preparing for the future.  But nobody can work out that balance for somebody else.

 

What I would advise is for you and your DH to sit down and work out a spending budget that you're both happy with.  Figure out how much you can spend (monthly or yearly or whatever works for you) on clothes and curricula and gum and still meet reasonable savings goals.  Now usually when we talk about budgeting it's to keep us living within our means.  But sometimes a budget works by giving "permission" to spend reasonable amounts.  You and your DH need to decide what constitutes "reasonable" for your family.  IMO patching underwear when you don't have to isn't reasonable, but hey . . . maybe you'll decide that it IS reasonable for you.  And if so, then there's nothing wrong with it.

[sunnyday]

If your circumstances changed fairly recently, don't change your lifestyle for a while. Just put the extra into an ordinary savings account and sit on it.

 

In particular, start by accumulating at least six months' expenses in an easily accessed, completely safe account like an ordinary FDIC insured savings.

 

Then, take 20% of your take-home right off the top and earmark it for savings.

 

To distribute those savings dollars, start by making sure you are maxing out your tax-advantaged options. Work retirement accounts, individual retirement accounts (including spousal IRA if you're not working), HSA (if you have a high-deductible health plan). If you aren't investment-savvy, assign these accounts to very simple low-cost diversified investments like the Vanguard Target Retirement plans. Set it and forget it.

 

Then, contribute to kids' college savings, usually 529 plan, again invested as simply and as low-cost as possible while still achieving diversification. Don't feel constrained to your state's savings plan unless you get a great state tax benefit. See http://www.savingforcollege.com/ for comparisons.

 

Once you've distributed that 20% for long-term savings, pay your bills and necessities. Whatever left can go to a "slush fund". That can be your fun money, your little luxuries, your new car fund, etc. Never take out a loan for a car, and never buy new. You'll be in good shape after all that!

[kitten18]

I'm on my phone so it's too hard to quote but basically I agree with Chris in Va.

 

I think that since you're still young, no debt, and you will have your retirement funded in 15 years that you could relax a little bit. For *me*, patching underwear would be a sign that I might have gone over the edge. Lol.

[SKL]

For *me*, patching underwear would be a sign that I might have gone over the edge. Lol.

 

:iagree:   I've been cheap at times, but that's a whole nother level of frugal.

 

"Patch my underpants frugal" has a certain ring to it, does it not?

 

[Lisa R.]

 

 

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids.

 

The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford more. .

If you have some money to spare, and now it appears you do, I would spend it on things that will widen the experiences of your children. I'd find enriching classes and activities and field trips. I'd spend the gas on getting them there. I think that is one of the best "investments" you could make right now. I've seen kids grow up that were underexposed to different experiences--classes, activities, people, jobs, travel--and it is not always easy to overcome.

 

I also think your children seeing generosity to others in need is also a great example and an important desire to cultivate.

 

Congrats on being debt free! This is a great accomplishment that you've worked hard to achieve. In sure that has also been a great example to your children.

[LibraryLover]

With freed money, I would spend more on experiences for the kids. Lessons, tutors for subjects that are more difficult (greater fluency in a second language), helping them develop a talent (music, dance, horseback riding etc). More visits in the US;  DC, NYC, SF, Chicago +   Greater attendance at cultural events (theater,  dance, symphony etc).

[creekland]

We chose to spend more traveling with our kids.  We seldom do luxury as budget traveling can get us more places for the same amount of $$, but there comes a time when it's just plain nice to spend a couple of nights right next to the Grand Canyon or directly on a beach too.  ;)

 

There's never been a time I've regretted doing thing with our kids.  Two are grown and out of the house now and our last leaves next fall.  We can stock more into savings at that point.  We'll never get the time back with our kids.

 

We chose to live frugally at home with old vehicles that are paid for, old furniture, carpets, outdated kitchens and similar.  Clothes were sometimes new and sometimes from the thrift store (when my kids were young almost all came from the thrift store or yard sales, but as they got older we worked some new things in a couple times per year).  We never buy gum (or similar).  We have a garden producing a good percentage of our veggies and hunt deer (which replaces most beef).  We are not debt free as we still have a mortgage on our place and mortgages on rental properties we own (where the rent we collect more than pays the mortgages), but again, we chose to enjoy the time with our kids doing things rather than paying those other things off early.

 

As so many have mentioned, everyone has to make their own choices.  I simply don't mind holes in our old carpets if the cost to replace them would get us another trip instead - hubby doesn't either.  The kids don't care and their friends don't care.  We have absolutely no regrets here.  (Well, we'd have spent less time in Las Vegas and more in Death Valley, but... I suppose those are minor regrets.)

[StephanieZ]

Retirement Goal: about 2.5 - 3 million for the two of us (2.5 in total net assets excluding the house, 3 including primary residence)

 

I guess that means we'll work until we are about 120. LOL

[Carrie12345]

I'm no help in answering your questions, but I sure do feel your confusion. We just paid off all debt but the house yesterday. It felt awesome for 2 seconds, and then I felt overwhelmed trying to prioritize the next steps. Sigh.

[Parrothead]

Perhaps I'm reading your tone wrong Chucki but I didn't mean to offend w/ the term financially secure. I wasn't sure the best way to phrase my question. Yes, we are not entirely secure as our retirement is not fully funded. It seems from the calculations we should have our retirement fund sufficient in about 10-15 yrs, depending on our rate of return. Of course there are always unforeseen variables but we can only go off the info we have at this time.

 

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids. Dh didn't even buy a pack of gum during the week. I patched holes in my underclothes w/ scraps of clothing. The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford more. It feels really miserly as well not to donate more now as well, since we can. I'd like to keep our savings rate high so we can get the retirement fund done sooner rather than later, as it would be a great peace of mind for me BUT I want to preserve marital happiness and don't want the kids to continue to do without everything b/c we are being cheap.

 

 

MiChelle- I did read MMM a lot but a lot of his info is aimed more at the very affluent single male (IMO). We cannot achieve his recommended saving rates even on our modest budget without my returning to work and dh and I would rather take longer to retire and have me at home, especially at the age of our kids. I need to re-read YMOYL, I found it so inspiring before and it would be good to revisit, especially now.

Nope, not me. I write that as very matter-of-fact. Not upset. Hugs.

[Annie G]

I know how you feel. Being gazelle intense for any length of time means you kind of get used to living very frugally. Then when the  debt is done, you know you don't want to loosen up too much...but you don't want to live gazelle intense your whole life, either. It's hard to find the balance that feels right for you! 

 

My inlaws have always been frugal but as they get older, they're carrying to to an extreme- at a time when they have plenty of money and just a few more years to live.  We know we don't want to be like that, but neither do we want to by like my dad- we lost Mom last year and he's spent more money this year than he has the past ten years combined. Seriously.  He's not going to run out, but the spending isn't making him happy, it's just keeping him busy.  Which I know is important to him, but there are lots of free ways to stay busy. 

 

I'd probably loosen up one or two budget areas for a bit and see how it feels.  If you've been super frugal with food, for instance, and food means a lot to you- budget a bit more and see if it feels worth it. We found a couple of areas we wanted to splurge on, and gave it a trial. One we kept- family entertainment/travel.  But having more pocket money turned out to be an area we thought we wanted but ended up not using. We just didn't want 'stuff' so we dropped our spending money back to the original amount. Same with eating out. We thought we wanted to budget more so we could eat out once a week if we wanted. We found that we really didn't like eating out as much as we thought we would...so that budget line also went back to what it was before. 

 

Good luck- it's a good 'problem' to have!

[Catwoman]

:iagree:   I've been cheap at times, but that's a whole nother level of frugal.

 

"Patch my underpants frugal" has a certain ring to it, does it not?

 

:iagree:

 

I think it should become one of those iconic Hive catchphrases!

[Parrothead]

Perhaps I'm reading your tone wrong Chucki but I didn't mean to offend w/ the term financially secure. I wasn't sure the best way to phrase my question. Yes, we are not entirely secure as our retirement is not fully funded. It seems from the calculations we should have our retirement fund sufficient in about 10-15 yrs, depending on our rate of return. Of course there are always unforeseen variables but we can only go off the info we have at this time.

 

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids. Dh didn't even buy a pack of gum during the week. I patched holes in my underclothes w/ scraps of clothing. The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford more. It feels really miserly as well not to donate more now as well, since we can. I'd like to keep our savings rate high so we can get the retirement fund done sooner rather than later, as it would be a great peace of mind for me BUT I want to preserve marital happiness and don't want the kids to continue to do without everything b/c we are being cheap.

 

 

MiChelle- I did read MMM a lot but a lot of his info is aimed more at the very affluent single male (IMO). We cannot achieve his recommended saving rates even on our modest budget without my returning to work and dh and I would rather take longer to retire and have me at home, especially at the age of our kids. I need to re-read YMOYL, I found it so inspiring before and it would be good to revisit, especially now.

Also, what I'm planning on doing is taking a year after we are debt free. Regular savings will continue, but needs will be met. Everyone who needs it will get new undergarments, repairs to any appliances will get done, home maintenance will get done, etc.

 

After that year things will tighten back up. Not so tight as to emulate Scrooge, but tight enough that we are not frivolously spending. To quote Jimmy Buffett, "Need is a relative thing these days, it borders on desire." There is a lot we buy that we don't need. It won't do us much good when we outlive out money and at age 92 we are eating cat food.

[Parrothead]

:iagree: I've been cheap at times, but that's a whole nother level of frugal.

 

"Patch my underpants frugal" has a certain ring to it, does it not?

 

I will admit my first thought was, "why bother wearing any at that point." I do believe you've made the newest meme.

[Parrothead]

Yep, I know MMM isn't single but he and his wife made their money before kids and on salaries, which where I live, would be considered large. He was already retired by the time he had a kid and they only plan on 1 kid. As I said I do really enjoy a lot of his articles, I believe I've posted a link before but I don't always find it relatable. His board is really dominated by single rich dudes and I found it offputting but as you said there is a lot that is good in there as well. I should re-read his investing info, thanks for the reminder!

 

Ishki- that is great that you have been debt free through all your challenges. I like your rules, good bras, good shoes and good food :)

 

HeighHo- I agree with you on many "necessities" for kids.

 

We are blessed as as we are still fairly young, I'm 34 and dh is 37. I know there are no guarantees, which is why I want to save more and would prefer that we had our retirement account funded sooner rather than later. Dh has always said he would work until he is 70 but I think that is really not the best plan unless there is no other option, as I do know sometimes is unfortunately the case. But I also see that we could always save more.

Considering your ages, if it were me, I save in increments of 33%. After paying monthly expenses such as power, water, phone, cells, insurance, etc. I'd save 33% for savings, 33% for college! and 33% for spending as needed.

[Catwoman]

Perhaps I'm reading your tone wrong Chucki but I didn't mean to offend w/ the term financially secure. I wasn't sure the best way to phrase my question. Yes, we are not entirely secure as our retirement is not fully funded. It seems from the calculations we should have our retirement fund sufficient in about 10-15 yrs, depending on our rate of return. Of course there are always unforeseen variables but we can only go off the info we have at this time.

 

The big question is how broke do we live? Last year we didn't hardly go to any hs or other social events to save money on gas(we only went to town 1x a week to get groceries and go to church), that becomes hard for the kids who hs and live in the country, not around any other kids. Dh didn't even buy a pack of gum during the week. I patched holes in my underclothes w/ scraps of clothing. The only curriculum I bought was what I could finance by selling other things. There is a point that it becomes miserly and being cheap when you can afford more. It feels really miserly as well not to donate more now as well, since we can. I'd like to keep our savings rate high so we can get the retirement fund done sooner rather than later, as it would be a great peace of mind for me BUT I want to preserve marital happiness and don't want the kids to continue to do without everything b/c we are being cheap.

 

 

MiChelle- I did read MMM a lot but a lot of his info is aimed more at the very affluent single male (IMO). We cannot achieve his recommended saving rates even on our modest budget without my returning to work and dh and I would rather take longer to retire and have me at home, especially at the age of our kids. I need to re-read YMOYL, I found it so inspiring before and it would be good to revisit, especially now.

After reading your posts to this thread, I honestly don't think I can be of any help to you at all. You are already so much more frugal than anyone I have ever met, that I just can't relate to your lifestyle at all. I'm not saying that my way of living is is better than yours, just that even at my very most frugal, you would think I was some kind of insane money-waster.

 

I have never in my life met anyone who patched their underwear or wouldn't buy a single pack of gum in a week. Never. If you were absolutely dirt poor, I would commend you for your ability to do whatever it took to make ends meet, but in your case, I think you are letting your frugality rule you to such a degree that you are depriving yourselves and your children of way too much.

 

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. If you enjoy living the way you do, than you should stick with it, but it just sounds to me like you are depriving yourselves of even small pleasures by focusing so much on not spending any money.

[sophiasapientia]

So, how do you balance your long term goals with day to day wants? 
We became completely debt free, including the house, last year at ages 37 & 38. The bulk of any extra money from no debt & pay increases goes into retirement savings and long/short term savings goals (replacement car fund, college savings, home improvement projects, nice annual family vacation.) 

 

Balancing long term goals with day to day wants is important to us. Both of DH's parents died before they reached retirement age so we are all too aware of the importance of enjoying today and not taking the now for granted. We live a fairly modest life -- i.e. live in smaller home, drive good quality but older paid for cars, opt not to have cable, etc -- so we can splurge on the things that are important to us while saving aggressively for our future. 

 

 

What is your goal for retirement? (not asking for exact dollars but percents) The calculators are so all over the place.
We are saving 15% of DH's income not including any company matches. It is 22% with the match.  We'd like to have at least $2.5 million in our retirement accounts and are aiming for more than that.  

What luxuries did you splurge on once you were more or less set?

DD and I get our hair cut at a nice salon every 2 months instead of at the budget haircut place. 

DH and I have iPhones. 

We save for an annual "big" family vacation. Next year will be a Disney cruise. We have a list of places we'd like to go before DD graduates from high school.

We have a 6 year plan to do some much needed updating to the house as we can cash flow them. Last year we replaced flooring in the main living areas and put in a new patio/backyard landscaping. Next year, we'll be putting in a new heating /cooling system. Eventually the bathrooms and kitchen will get remodels.

We have more space in our budget for extra music lessons, annual memberships, DD's sports, etc. 

 

I wouldn't say we feel "set" at this point but we do have a decent security net and "in progress" short and long term goals to get to a place where we feel set. 

[Guest]

Honestly, for us, the frugal mentality is more of a permanent way of life. It's not like, "Shew! Now we don't have a mortgage, we can spend that $1,200.00 a month if we want to." Having said that, there have been some things, big and small, that I decided were worth paying more for that I would not have done when we still had debt. Some were worth it. Some were not. At one point, I bought an expensive car. I think it was a mistake. Not a tragic mistake, but one I'm not eager to repeat. I had convinced myself that we "should" have this very nice car, after all the years of driving very modest cars; after all, we could afford to do so. But I realized later that I identify more with having a simpler car and I feel a little too flashy in the fancy car, plus it guzzles gas and dh is overly worried about wrecking it, scratching it or getting straw in the trunk. (I wish I was kidding about that last one, but it did happen recently.) 

 

It really just comes down to deciding if a green house or a luxury car or a European vacation is exceedingly important to you and then recognizing that you might turn out to be wrong after the fact. 

[sunnyday]

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. If you enjoy living the way you do, than you should stick with it, but it just sounds to me like you are depriving yourselves of even small pleasures by focusing so much on not spending any money.

 

But that is exactly why she is posting. I am  :bigear: too. When we came into a good financial situation, the first year we let out our belts in almost every area. I bought mostly organic food, we drove a lot, bought some new clothes, bought a house and furnished it, made inroads on the landscaping and other projects, had a free hand with hobby acquisitions. The monthly expense totals, though, staggered us. We weren't saving as much as we wanted, my husband was despairing about being able to retire early as he desperately wants to do (he's in a high-stress field). So within a year we tightened back up again, trying to approximate our lifestyle when we were living paycheck to paycheck on about $45-48k. We've failed at this, to be honest, but at least we don't feel too extravagant. Still though, we look at every budget category and our only criteria is if we *can* spend less, we try. So we end up getting the off-brand ketchup for $.20 less despite having a strong preference for the brand name; we buy one-ply toilet paper; I don't buy clothes. Ever. Not thrifted, not new...if my mom didn't give me clothes for my birthday, my closet would be pretty much bare because my 5-year-old Walmart and outlet-bought clothing is falling apart.

 

Now, how to strike a balance? It feels nuts to talk myself out of a $12 Great Clips haircut every 6 months, but I have this unshakable fear that if I start spending more freely, the floodgates will open and I won't be able to stop myself. :\

 

Honestly I'm just glad I'm not the only one with this worry!

[KrissiK]

We took a chunk out of our savings account (well, mutual funds, not bank account) to pay off our house this year. At this point, our goal is to replace that money. Other than that, we have no real long term goals. I guess, some for college, weddings, travel, maybe buy a small farm.

[MAIMOM]

Agree that each family has to work it out for themselves. We did make a budget and put items like clothing, haircuts, makeup in their own category and then we put in a reasonable amount. well, first I guess we decided what we wanted to spend each month then took that dollar amount and divided to among categories. We included a little "fun" money for each of us a month....when we were first married I think it was 10 am another but that allowed us to each budget and not have to answer to each other over a coffee or dollar lunch item.

 

I would say building your marriage is a wonderful investment. New undies and a date night out with your man is an investment in your families future. Clothing you feel pretty in is another good investment. You mentioned giving to chairty....are you faith based as well? If so pray about your wants/ needs.

 

Is is my personal belief and experience but I believe it pleases God for us to live within our means and that when we ask he will help us. I try to take the $ I have for items like clothing and food and ask him to help me get the most for my money. He knows where the excellent sale is, even what day. Pray before you shop and see what blessing he has for you.

 

Best answer to a prayer like that was a. kitchen aid mixer for $79. That blew me away. I had saved for years.....that Christmas I had pledged to give away the difference in what I expected to spend and what I actually spent like finding things on sale. So if PJ were on sale for 15 instead of 20 I out 5 in an envelope,....we actually gave away as much that year as we spent on the kids and I gave them everything I had on my want list for them. It was an amazing experience.

[ficbot]

We use percentages because both of us are frugal and have trouble spending money on ourselves. Knowing that I have a certain amount to spend on coffee or books, guilt free, helps me.

 

Right now, we both put 50% into the joint account and keep 50% for personal stuff (cell phone, retirement account etc). I put 10% of my pay into a retirement account and plan to always . The last time I was at the bank, they ran a simulation for me and said I was on track to meet my retirement goal (actually I would have $5 extra per month if I continued at my present rate). Then they told me that they had actually never run a simulation before whee it said the person would be okay---it always says they need more. So I feel good about that.

 

He makes a lot more money than me and in January he has a large monthly expense that will end, so we will be adjusting things. Basically, we know how much we need in the joint account to cover rent, bills, vacation savings, emergency fund etc. so we'll tweak the percentages so that he's putting in more, and try to arrange it so each of us has roughly the same left over once the joint stuff is paid for.

[Liz CA]

I am wondering if you lived very frugally so you could pay off your mortgage? If so, great. Congratulations. By the way, nobody is ever financially secure since none of us control the economic ups and downs but I take your meaning as you have no mortgage any longer and life is now very comfortable.

 

1. I would talk with dh how much of the mortgage money, that is now freed up, should be saved.

2. I would let dh pick something he wants and pick something I want. Again, only you can put a cap on this as you know what could be feasibly spent.

    You have been living tightly, accomplished a tremendous goal and now it's time to reward yourself a little.

3. As someone who has lived 15 miles from the next town while homeschooling a teenager, I think your kids may benefit from more trips to places

    like a museum, the park, the library, a gym hour for little ones, whatever. This is a treat for them.

4. If you haven't already started, fund your retirement as best you can.

 

It's a nice feeling to have the largest bill out of the way. Congratulations!

[Catwoman]

 

But that is exactly why she is posting. I am :bigear: too. When we came into a good financial situation, the first year we let out our belts in almost every area. I bought mostly organic food, we drove a lot, bought some new clothes, bought a house and furnished it, made inroads on the landscaping and other projects, had a free hand with hobby acquisitions. The monthly expense totals, though, staggered us. We weren't saving as much as we wanted, my husband was despairing about being able to retire early as he desperately wants to do (he's in a high-stress field). So within a year we tightened back up again, trying to approximate our lifestyle when we were living paycheck to paycheck on about $45-48k. We've failed at this, to be honest, but at least we don't feel too extravagant. Still though, we look at every budget category and our only criteria is if we *can* spend less, we try. So we end up getting the off-brand ketchup for $.20 less despite having a strong preference for the brand name; we buy one-ply toilet paper; I don't buy clothes. Ever. Not thrifted, not new...if my mom didn't give me clothes for my birthday, my closet would be pretty much bare because my 5-year-old Walmart and outlet-bought clothing is falling apart.

 

Now, how to strike a balance? It feels nuts to talk myself out of a $12 Great Clips haircut every 6 months, but I have this unshakable fear that if I start spending more freely, the floodgates will open and I won't be able to stop myself. :\

 

Honestly I'm just glad I'm not the only one with this worry!

I simply don't understand the mentality behind the part of your post that I bolded.

 

Why would you try to save 20 cents by buying the brand of ketchup you don't particularly like? :confused: Why would you buy junky toilet paper and never, ever buy yourself any clothing?

 

I'm sorry, but that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. I think it's fine to be frugal, but when the money isn't an issue, I can't figure out why anyone would intentionally buy food they didn't like, just to save 20 cents. And the "never buy clothing" concept is something I have never even heard of anyone doing.

 

I guess I just don't understand the need for such extremism when it's not necessary.

[TracyP]

I am not in this boat, but my grandparents are. They have been independently wealthy since they were in their 50's. They were "financially secure" for many years before that. My grandma still reuses plastic bags and tin foil. My grandpa tries to watch the long distance bill. They acquired their wealth (in part) by being frugal and avoiding debt whenever possible. That didn't change when they hit some magic goal.

 

On the other hand, they can and do afford luxuries. They spend their money on things that are important *to them*. You need to decide what is important to you.

 

I wasn't going to post but I can't resist after Cat's comments. I find it fascinating to watch my grandparents be so frugal in some areas and so extravagant in others. But it clearly reflects their priorities. They aren't afraid to spend on things that are important to them, but they will absolutely cut a few pennies if they can in other areas. It may seem silly, but they don't care. If they cared, they would spend the extra money. ;)

[LucyStoner]

I simply don't understand the mentality behind the part of your post that I bolded.

 

Why would you try to save 20 cents by buying the brand of ketchup you don't particularly like? :confused: Why would you buy junky toilet paper and never, ever buy yourself any clothing?

 

I'm sorry, but that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. I think it's fine to be frugal, but when the money isn't an issue, I can't figure out why anyone would intentionally buy food they didn't like, just to save 20 cents. And the "never buy clothing" concept is something I have never even heard of anyone doing.

 

I guess I just don't understand the need for such extremism when it's not necessary.

Some people don't care about the quality of their toilet paper or ketchup. I don't. I have never found either to make a serious impact on my life.

 

My husband and I do some things that I am sure you would consider eye raisingly frugal. But as a consequence we have been able to afford to donate money we wanted to donate, save for the future and now we can, without feeling too pinched, choose to live on one small income in a HCOL area so my husband can go to school and I can stay home (we gave up more than 1/2 our income w/o me working). Many of the people I know live paycheck to paycheck more or less on low 6 figures. Our retirement savings outstrip by a lot friends of ours who are not only 10 years older than us but who make 50% more per year than we did in our best double income year. But they spend a lot and at one point went without insurance because they said they couldn't afford $300 a month for her to be in his plan. Presently we make about 1/3 of their income and have never had a passing thought of dropping me from my husband's insurance which is, between medical and dental, about $250 a month for me to be on.

 

It doesn't feel like deprivation if there is a goal and if there is a lack of want. We splurge on things we value. Those things are music lessons, instruments, family time, camping. We cover the basics well. But yeah, I reuse foil and darn (quality) socks and get most of our clothing from the Goodwill OUTLET or swaps.

[Melissa in Australia]

While you are still able to work, save as much as possible. Continue living like you are broke, and put your money away. You are going to need it later.

 

Little luxuries can be not having to worry about how you re going to pay for Christmas presents, not worrying where you are going to find the money for groceries and not worrying about the college fund.

 

Once your retirement is fully funded, then you can say you are financially secure.

:iagree:

[sunnyday]

I guess I just don't understand the need for such extremism when it's not necessary.

 

Me either! It's uncomfortable and frustrating. I mentioned those examples specifically because they do make me feel somewhat deprived. (Not a lot though...I mostly just giggled when DH came home with the one-ply because it was the cheapest thing on the shelf.) I don't think soror was bragging about the patched undies either. But future goals *are* important, and saving a little more now will mean huge rewards later. Plus if we keep our lifestyle modest, and we save copiously, then we will reach a point of financial independence sooner.

 

So for example, I feel somewhat proud that we can keep the thermostat really low in the winter. I don't mind putting on a sweater to keep the propane bill low. But I do mind feeling like I'm pulling my own teeth when it comes to buying my kids some new shoes. (The ones they have still fit, sort of! And they're barely 6 months old! The ones from Walmart wear out too fast, the ones from Payless are OK but selection isn't great, I'd have to drive like an hour or shop online to buy from anywhere else, etc. etc...) I'm still working hard to find the right balance there, to figure out the things I care enough about that I should just freaking spend the money already.

[Soror]

Some people don't care about the quality of their toilet paper or ketchup. I don't. I have never found either to make a serious impact on my life.

 

My husband and I do some things that I am sure you would consider eye raisingly frugal. But as a consequence we have been able to afford to donate money we wanted to donate, save for the future and now we can, without feeling too pinched, choose to live on one small income in a HCOL area so my husband can go to school and I can stay home (we gave up more than 1/2 our income w/o me working). Many of the people I know live paycheck to paycheck more or less on low 6 figures. Our retirement savings outstrip by a lot friends of ours who are not only 10 years older than us but who make 50% more per year than we did in our best double income year.

 

It doesn't feel like deprivation if there is a goal and if there is a lack of want. We splurge on things we value. Those things are music lessons, instruments, family time, camping.

Exactly with the bolded. We don't feel deprived at all at this point, even though we still do without some things that others consider needed. I just generally feel so blessed that we are able to make the choices we can.

 

I find it fascinating to watch my grandparents be so frugal in some areas and so extravagant in others. But it clearly reflects their priorities. They aren't afraid to spend on things that are important to them, but they will absolutely cut a few pennies if they can in other areas. It may seem silly, but they don't care. If they cared, they would spend the extra money. ;)

 Yep. Dh finally replaced his tennis shoes, on the way into Church one day he had to cut a piece of the sole off as it was flapping as he walked and there was already had a hole in the bottom. Now, these are not shoes he wears every day but just when we go out, he has nice work boots. He just didn't care. He still just has 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of dress pants. We both thought it funny though of all the splurges we have indulged since paying the mortgage he had flappy holey shoes.

 

Now that we could replace the cars it is somewhat thrilling to see how much we can get out of them. Although obviously if they start to get to be more to repair than they are worth OR if we feel them unsafe to drive then we will replace but until then we're still driving them. Dh finds it funny at work that the people who make considerably less than him drive way fancier vehicles and tend to think we are poor due to what he drives but we just want our vehicles to get us from point a-b safely.

 

I am wondering if you lived very frugally so you could pay off your mortgage?

 We've always been fairly frugal but we went super gazelle last year when we decided to finish paying off the mortgage. So, we don't/haven't always lived like Scrooge.

 

We included a little "fun" money for each of us a month....when we were first married I think it was 10 am another but that allowed us to each budget and not have to answer to each other over a coffee or dollar lunch item.

 

I would say building your marriage is a wonderful investment. New undies and a date night out with your man is an investment in your families future. Clothing you feel pretty in is another good investment. You mentioned giving to chairty....are you faith based as well? If so pray about your wants/ needs.

 

 

Best answer to a prayer like that was a. kitchen aid mixer for $79. That blew me away. I had saved for years.....that Christmas I had pledged to give away the difference in what I expected to spend and what I actually spent like finding things on sale. So if PJ were on sale for 15 instead of 20 I out 5 in an envelope,....we actually gave away as much that year as we spent on the kids and I gave them everything I had on my want list for them. It was an amazing experience.

 What a wonderful idea for the holidays! I have a decent(for us) amount saved this year but I was just thinking whether or not we really need to spend that much. I like the idea of making a list, seeing what deals I can find and donating the rest, that is just fabulous!!!

 

Yes, we have loosened the rein on each of our allowances. That was certainly good for our marriage! Now, dh had a hard time w/ it when things were so tight but he doesn't spend near as much as I thought he would. He did have a few months where it was more but now it is generally low. I tend to not spend any for awhile and then have a splurge, like my shopping this week.

 

Now, how to strike a balance? It feels nuts to talk myself out of a $12 Great Clips haircut every 6 months, but I have this unshakable fear that if I start spending more freely, the floodgates will open and I won't be able to stop myself. :\

 

Honestly I'm just glad I'm not the only one with this worry!

 Yes, that is it. In some ways I think we've done ok but in others we've just spent too much money this year.

 

Honestly, for us, the frugal mentality is more of a permanent way of life. It's not like, "Shew! Now we don't have a mortgage, we can spend that $1,200.00 a month if we want to." Having said that, there have been some things, big and small, that I decided were worth paying more for that I would not have done when we still had debt. Some were worth it. Some were not. At one point, I bought an expensive car. I think it was a mistake. Not a tragic mistake, but one I'm not eager to repeat.

 

It really just comes down to deciding if a green house or a luxury car or a European vacation is exceedingly important to you and then recognizing that you might turn out to be wrong after the fact.

Yes, I would like us to continue to be frugal as a way of life, but I'm just not sure how frugal.

 

I'm sorry to hear you've been a bit disappointed w/ your car purchase. I could see the same thing happening here. Dh would be freaking out about the kids all the time.

 

We've thought a couple of times of going ahead and replacing the van but haven't been able to bring ourselves to do it. I'm also thinking we will upgrade to a bit nicer and newer one but then I worry that we will regret it. I guess it is hard to live without any regrets though.

[Soror]

If your circumstances changed fairly recently, don't change your lifestyle for a while. Just put the extra into an ordinary savings account and sit on it.

 

In particular, start by accumulating at least six months' expenses in an easily accessed, completely safe account like an ordinary FDIC insured savings.

 

Then, take 20% of your take-home right off the top and earmark it for savings.

 

To distribute those savings dollars, start by making sure you are maxing out your tax-advantaged options. Work retirement accounts, individual retirement accounts (including spousal IRA if you're not working), HSA (if you have a high-deductible health plan).

 We paid off the house in Jan, although we had the money last Fall, we wanted to wait until after the baby was born in case of any unforeseen problems.

 

We've always saved for retirement, although now it is nice to up the % and I still think we should do more but we are going up a bit at a time as dh is comfortable. We've always kept it at least to the match of his company. We both need to research more on investing and finally decide what to do on college funding. Dh is fairly opposed, ironically he had his paid for and I didn't. Dh especially doesn't want money tied in a college only fund in case it is not used, so we've looked into some different ways around this but have yet to make a decision.

 

With freed money, I would spend more on experiences for the kids. Lessons, tutors for subjects that are more difficult (greater fluency in a second language), helping them develop a talent (music, dance, horseback riding etc). More visits in the US;  DC, NYC, SF, Chicago +   Greater attendance at cultural events (theater,  dance, symphony etc).

 Several people mentioned this but I'm just quoting one here-

 

This is an area we have increased. We took the kids to The Lion King last year after we had our mortgage fund finished, I won tickets and we kept it pretty cheap otherwise. This year we took a beach vacation, as that was their request. We recently took another weekend vacation to visit the science center in the city and a few other places. Right now our activities are just co-op and Cub Scouts/AHG but that is not so much money as my energy w/ 4 kids and dh's work schedule. We are doing every event w/ these groups, well every one that we want to do. I've looked into some other clubs as well but nothing has worked out yet- I had planned to start dd w/ 4h but the meeting was at the same time as AHG.

 

As I said before I've spent way more on educational supplies and curriculum. We bought ds an EV3 for his b-day, recently purchased a microscope and several curriculums that I thought would work great for them but weren't in the budget before. Both dh and I believe that spending more in this area will not likely be regretted.

I'm no help in answering your questions, but I sure do feel your confusion. We just paid off all debt but the house yesterday. It felt awesome for 2 seconds, and then I felt overwhelmed trying to prioritize the next steps. Sigh.

 Kudos to you!!!! Yes, it is a different kind of stress.

 

I'd probably loosen up one or two budget areas for a bit and see how it feels.  If you've been super frugal with food, for instance, and food means a lot to you- budget a bit more and see if it feels worth it. We found a couple of areas we wanted to splurge on, and gave it a trial. One we kept- family entertainment/travel.  But having more pocket money turned out to be an area we thought we wanted but ended up not using. We just didn't want 'stuff' so we dropped our spending money back to the original amount. Same with eating out. We thought we wanted to budget more so we could eat out once a week if we wanted. We found that we really didn't like eating out as much as we thought we would...so that budget line also went back to what it was before. 

 

Good luck- it's a good 'problem' to have!

We were just super duper frugal w/ food for last year before then just fairly frugal. I have loosened up some there. I buy snacks now. We have more variety.

 

I increased our eating out budget at first as well but we don't generally spend it either. It is funny last year we had 1 -$1 menu meal a month budgeted and it was such a treat now(more for me so I didn't have to cook), meh I don't really care. I cannot remember the last we ate out, generally we don't at all unless we are out of town. Even for my b-day and anniversary I'd much rather make a nice meal at home, it is so overpriced to eat out, especially for the type of food I like to eat.

 

We did add Hulu, at $8 a month, although it isn't a huge need there was a show we wanted to watch that was on there. Generally our spending has stayed pretty low in this category although if there is an event that we want to do we are much more likely to say yes if it fits into our schedule and that is a nice freedom to have. It is great just not to have to worry about the gas to see all the free events. We still try to choose what we do wisely though as we want it to be worth our time and money. Dh works so much now(mandatory OT) that it is usually just nice to have family time and going to the local bike park is a wonderful treat.

[Soror]

We chose to spend more traveling with our kids.  We seldom do luxury as budget traveling can get us more places for the same amount of $$, but there comes a time when it's just plain nice to spend a couple of nights right next to the Grand Canyon or directly on a beach too.  ;)

 

There's never been a time I've regretted doing thing with our kids.  Two are grown and out of the house now and our last leaves next fall.  We can stock more into savings at that point.  We'll never get the time back with our kids.

I think we will likely be similar. I'd like to keep to budget traveling as well but this is something I really want to do more. I always thought it would be nice to be able to see more of the world and I want to give that to my kids. Dh has always wanted to visit Rome but has thought we wouldn't be able to ever afford it so that is a big one on our bucket list. Mostly I'd like to visit various places in the US, the Grand Canyons like you mentioned are on my list. I'd like to visit more historic sites. I'd like to have a few really big trips like the one to Rome.

[Soror]

OH, and fwiw patching underwear didn't make me feel deprived. We had a specific saving goal and with dh's hrs being cut and car repairs last year there just wasn't extra money. I found it to be a nice challenge to see what we could cut, what things were really needs and what we could do without.

 

We let the kids know our goals and they were excited along with us. Now they understand to some degree that if you sacrifice you can reach goals. We let them pick our vacation spot as a reward to paying off the house. They know now as well that we make some choices in order to be able to have time and money for our priorities.

[Lisa R.]

 

 

We let the kids know our goals and they were excited along with us. Now they understand to some degree that if you sacrifice you can reach goals. We let them pick our vacation spot as a reward to paying off the house. They know now as well that we make some choices in order to be able to have time and money for our priorities.

What a lifelong impression you have made by tying paying off the house with a special vacation they helped select. You are teaching your children the character-building lesson of delayed gratification and showing them in a tangible way the rewards it brings.

[sunnyday]

 We've always saved for retirement, although now it is nice to up the % and I still think we should do more but we are going up a bit at a time as dh is comfortable. We've always kept it at least to the match of his company. We both need to research more on investing and finally decide what to do on college funding. Dh is fairly opposed, ironically he had his paid for and I didn't. Dh especially doesn't want money tied in a college only fund in case it is not used, so we've looked into some different ways around this but have yet to make a decision.

 

That's great that you've always at least gotten the company match -- I'd have cringed if, in working on your mortgage-payoff goal, you'd turned down free money. ;)

 

A 529 plan can have its beneficiary changed at any time. So if a child chooses not to go to college, you can transfer the account to another child, or even to yourself to use for educational purposes! Worst case scenario, it can even go to a grandchild. So the money isn't *that* tied up. However, there's certainly a point of enough is enough, and I'm researching right now to figure out the number I want to get those accounts up to. If I figure out something useful, I'll share. :)

 

I plan to have my kids contribute to their college, even though neither DH or I had to pay our own way. (I got a full scholarship, his parents were in a position to pay cash and not even tap his educational savings! He used those for graduate school.) I think some skin in the game might help them to recognize what they're there for. But although my dad always used to joke that he'd pay the first quarter and I could pay the rest by working and saving alternate quarters...with the cost of undergraduate today, I don't think it's a great idea to make kids take on much more than is necessary, if a family is in a position to help. Those loans can haunt a person.

[Soror]

Well, my thoughts were that with 4 kids it is very, very likely that we will use the money on someone but dh isn't convinced yet. However, just coming out of paying off the house and upping retirement again I think he just felt more nervous that we would be as tight as before. I think he needed to see that we would have the money extra. I also considered a Roth and then just drawing out the principal, at least from reading before I think that would work. That way we would still have it for retirement if needed but could use it for college as well, that plan made dh a lot less nervous. (I was thinking I read before that we could use the principal on the Roth without any issue). He only sees the negative side of paying for schooling from his experience. Personally I have thought it would be good to offer to pay for the first 2 yrs locally or a set dollar amount for each but of course this is something we have to come to agreement on together.