Homeschool fails ... share them here

[Mom23Boys]

I think you should have an Open House. Only make it REALLY cool and not be at home at all, but something like a trip, oh, ride a train, or climb a mountain and then point out that hsers can have "school" anywhere!

I should really do that. He would love it! Now to figure out what to do...

[Mom23Boys]

this has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read

We laugh a lot around here. Sometimes it is either laugh or cry. I try to always pick laugh. ;)

[redsquirrel]

<-- This is Dino-Mike. He "speaks" with an accent similar to Veggie Tale's Paco the Storytelling Mule when he teaches DS. We also ended up gluing a black bean in his head for a brain (he needed to be smart to be able to teach first grade, so we figured black bean over the smaller lentil).  I use a clothespin to make his mouth open and close as he "speaks." 

 

I am so ashamed.   :blushing:

 

Don't be ashamed. You do what you have do do. Years ago my eldest son and I were locked in a power struggle over piano lessons. Major. Power. Struggle.  It got ugly.  

 

I started using hand puppets to communicate during his practice. I created several different characters. There was 'annoying little girl' which was really a Madeline hand puppet. She would do things like poke him during practice and get in front oh his music and generally make him laugh. There was 'Bear Hug" which was a bear puppet who just LOOOOVED my son's piano playing and would just blubber with joy over the beauty of his playing.  He would sometimes swoon on my son's head from  joy from the music. There were a few others, I think the stuffed squid came into it at one point.

 

And I wonder why my kids are a little weird.

[aggieamy]

We were playing a clue type game where I give hints, starting with vague and getting more specific, and ds11 had to guess the famous/historic person i was thinking of.

My clues:

1. This person was Involved in helping slaves escape to the North

2. She returned again and again despite the dangers.

3. The movement she belonged to was called the Underground Railroad.

4. Her first name is Harriet.

Ds: "oh, that's soooo easy! Harriet Jones!"

:/ I think we might be watching too much Dr. who around here.................

Must have been before she was Prime Minister.

[aggieamy]

We were playing a clue type game where I give hints, starting with vague and getting more specific, and ds11 had to guess the famous/historic person i was thinking of.

My clues:

1. This person was Involved in helping slaves escape to the North

2. She returned again and again despite the dangers.

3. The movement she belonged to was called the Underground Railroad.

4. Her first name is Harriet.

Ds: "oh, that's soooo easy! Harriet Jones!"

:/ I think we might be watching too much Dr. who around here.................

Must have been before she was Prime Minister.

[aggieamy]

We were playing a clue type game where I give hints, starting with vague and getting more specific, and ds11 had to guess the famous/historic person i was thinking of.

My clues:

1. This person was Involved in helping slaves escape to the North

2. She returned again and again despite the dangers.

3. The movement she belonged to was called the Underground Railroad.

4. Her first name is Harriet.

Ds: "oh, that's soooo easy! Harriet Jones!"

:/ I think we might be watching too much Dr. who around here.................

Must have been before she was Prime Minister.

[aggieamy]

We were playing a clue type game where I give hints, starting with vague and getting more specific, and ds11 had to guess the famous/historic person i was thinking of.

My clues:

1. This person was Involved in helping slaves escape to the North

2. She returned again and again despite the dangers.

3. The movement she belonged to was called the Underground Railroad.

4. Her first name is Harriet.

Ds: "oh, that's soooo easy! Harriet Jones!"

:/ I think we might be watching too much Dr. who around here.................

Must have been before she was Prime Minister.

[Melissa in Australia]

I'm not sure if this is a homeschooling fail or just a parenting fail, but my older son thought his middle name was Oscar until he was 14yo.  His middle name is not Oscar. 

One of my son's thought his middle name is Argue. HIs middle name is actually Aage, named after a Danish uncle

[ThisIsTheDay]

<-- This is Dino-Mike. He "speaks" with an accent similar to Veggie Tale's Paco the Storytelling Mule when he teaches DS. We also ended up gluing a black bean in his head for a brain (he needed to be smart to be able to teach first grade, so we figured black bean over the smaller lentil).  I use a clothespin to make his mouth open and close as he "speaks." 

 

I am so ashamed.   :blushing:

 

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!  :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Dino-Mike is a brilliant Mommy moment in homeschooling.  Your ds will never forget this, and I can only imagine the wonderful ways in which Dino-Mke will color your schooling, your family in years to come.  Truly brilliant!!!  I love this story!

 

You get the AWESOME MOM award here!!

 

[Miss Innocent]

Today someone told about a writing class she taught, "Out of 14 students, 12 of them were boys." My ds8 said, "So three of them were girls, then." We asked hIm to think it over, but he just couldn't get it.

 

I reckon your son was including the teacher in his calculations. 3 girls = 2 students and the female teacher...  Children's logic is sometimes so hard to get your head around!

 

Emma

[Miss Innocent]

That's right up there with dd competing with her teddy bear with timed math fact sheets. Some days the bear won. Some days she won.

 

Glad I'm not the only one who has to have teddies involved in school. Yesterday though I had to play 'chinese whispers' with a 7 year old boy and THREE teddies. Seriously. How does that work?  :huh:

 

Emma

[Dmmetler]

<-- This is Dino-Mike. He "speaks" with an accent similar to Veggie Tale's Paco the Storytelling Mule when he teaches DS. We also ended up gluing a black bean in his head for a brain (he needed to be smart to be able to teach first grade, so we figured black bean over the smaller lentil).  I use a clothespin to make his mouth open and close as he "speaks." 

 

I am so ashamed.   :blushing:

 

Don't be-I just created name tags yesterday for DD's classmates for this fall. A half dozen stuffed snakes, lizards, and frogs. The class picture is always darling ;).

 

The nice part about having a stuffed class is that when DD is getting frustrated, I can "Teach" one of the classmates and have THEM be silly until DD is giggling instead of crying. Sometimes, you gotta do what works.

 

 

[Mommy22alyns]

<-- This is Dino-Mike. He "speaks" with an accent similar to Veggie Tale's Paco the Storytelling Mule when he teaches DS. We also ended up gluing a black bean in his head for a brain (he needed to be smart to be able to teach first grade, so we figured black bean over the smaller lentil).  I use a clothespin to make his mouth open and close as he "speaks." 

 

I am so ashamed.   :blushing:

 

 

That is epic!  And brilliant too!

 

We often have "friends" join us for school, but I never thought to have them do the teaching.

[Ravin]

In 1st and 2nd, DD frequently insisted that she would only do school if we had a class of imaginary students participate. She would tell me where they sat, and I would have to call on everyone in turns, with DD playing the role of each of them in turn, often with different voices. Some of the classmates bore the names of her neighborhood friends or classmates at her enrichment program, but Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom were also students.

 

For an EPIC fail, yesterday we found some money lying in the gutter. Since I saw it first, I claimed it, then told DD she could have any coin she could correctly identify by name and value. The two pennies are hers now. I kept the nickel, quarter, and half-dollar.

 

Just now I quizzed her on her months of the year, which I know she re-learned in April of this year. She hasn't quite got them down. Her memory is a sieve unless it's lyrics--anyone know a pop/rock song for the months?

[bobbeym]

<-- This is Dino-Mike. He "speaks" with an accent similar to Veggie Tale's Paco the Storytelling Mule when he teaches DS. We also ended up gluing a black bean in his head for a brain (he needed to be smart to be able to teach first grade, so we figured black bean over the smaller lentil).  I use a clothespin to make his mouth open and close as he "speaks." 

 

I am so ashamed.   :blushing:

 

I love Dine-Mike.  I think this is an awesome idea, especially if it gets a little one to pay attention.

[plansrme]

Oh stop it! I am getting a pedicure, and my toes are going to be all messed up because I keep breaking into silent but not still laughter as I read this thread. So please refrain from posting new examples for the next 15 minutes. Thanks for your cooperation.

[Little Nyssa]

My son wants me to post that he is also confused about the spelling of his middle name. It's Michael. But I suppose you could confuse the a and e and that would be reasonable? he's 8.

[Luckymama]

Even through high school my brilliant son would get left and right confused----I'd catch him holding his hands out in front of him, fingers together with thumbs at 90°, like we had him do when he was three years old :rolleyes:

[JadeOrchidSong]

My ds 10 thought Biden was Obama's last name!

[JadeOrchidSong]

Ds don't know the order of months!

[Julie Smith]

Even through high school my brilliant son would get left and right confused----I'd catch him holding his hands out in front of him, fingers together with thumbs at 90°, like we had him do when he was three years old :rolleyes:

 

Hay, I still do that. 

[Forget-Me-Not]

Even through high school my brilliant son would get left and right confused----I'd catch him holding his hands out in front of him, fingers together with thumbs at 90°, like we had him do when he was three years old :rolleyes:

Haha, I'm 36 and I still get them mixed up. And forget cardinal directions. I've concluded it's a wiring issue in my brain!

[Jeannie in NJ]

My ds 10 thought Biden was Obama's last name!

when Obama ran the first time, my ds thought his name was O'Biden  (would that be a nice Irish name ?)

[mommymilkies]

When youngest ds was about 5yo, he was being evaluated for speech therapy. The therapist gave him a stack of picture cards, and he was supposed to say the word that was represented by each picture. I was in the room, could hear what was being said, but I couldn't see the pictures. There was one where ds announced that he had no idea what that was. The therapist had a very surprised look on her face and asked him if he was sure we didn't have one of those in our house. Ds insisted he had never seen one of those.

 

Afterwards, the therapist showed me the picture --- it was a bathtub.

Reminds me of when my oldest dd was getting "placement" tested for Kindy to see if she needed speech.  They showed her pictures of TVs, vacuums, etc. that must have been a good 40 years old.  She had no idea what half of them were. It was hilarious.  My, how times have changed!   :lol:

My girls ALL called Dixie Chicks "Chicksy Dicks".  It's hilarious, but until they're about 8, for some reason, they always say it that way.  These kids can read by 5, mind you!!!!

 

Despite numerous conversations and WATCHING the elections until late, my kids still blank on who is president.  And they freeze up on how old they are, birthdays, and how to spell their names when they meet new adults.  They must think we're pretty neglectful! 

[K&Rs Mom]

My son wants me to post that he is also confused about the spelling of his middle name. It's Michael. But I suppose you could confuse the a and e and that would be reasonable? he's 8.

 

 

I've seen it spelled both ways, though ae is more common.  My aunt almost married a guy who spelled it ea but my brother is spelled ae.  

[ChemMommy]

When asked what she liked best about homeschooling, my 8yo replied that her favorite part was watching I Love Lucy reruns over lunch!  Yes, that was a proud moment for me!+""

 

My 14 yo once asked me what the "At" at the top of all of her work meant. (It was an A+).

 

On the actual HS fail:  I have one who won't get to algebra II. I've never gotten through an entire curriculum in a year. We are lousy spellers because I hate giving spelling tests.

[Lara in Colo]

Even through high school my brilliant son would get left and right confused----I'd catch him holding his hands out in front of him, fingers together with thumbs at 90°, like we had him do when he was three years old :rolleyes:

 

I still do this!!!

[Rebecca]

My twelve year old son graciously wrapped his two year old twin sisters' birthday gifts a few weeks ago. He labeled each one with their names. He wrote: Mellowdee on one twin's gifts. Her name is Melodee.

 

They often call her Mellow for short... I guess. :glare:

Spelling is not his strong suit.

[bethben]

My daughter's speech therapist asked her what a pilot was.  She said, "The guy in the palace."  He was confused.  I was a little confused until I out that with her Jesus dying on the cross obsession at the time she was thinking Pilot in the Bible.  She had no idea that a pilot was a person who flew planes.  

 

Beth

[Susan in TN]

Even through high school my brilliant son would get left and right confused----I'd catch him holding his hands out in front of him, fingers together with thumbs at 90°, like we had him do when he was three years old :rolleyes:

Yep, me too. Dh has started to ask if it's "bow hand" or "violin hand" - I never get those mixed up! :D

[redsquirrel]

We just had one today. My younger son just described to me in great detail how people 'used to cook tofu dogs in the medieval days.'

 

It involved putting them in boiling water, like we do now.  Apparently there haven't been many innovations in tofu dog cookery in the last millennium.

[Mommy22alyns]

Haha, I'm 36 and I still get them mixed up. And forget cardinal directions. I've concluded it's a wiring issue in my brain!

 

 

The only way I know directions is Never Eat Shredded Wheat.

[bobbeym]

Haha, I'm 36 and I still get them mixed up. And forget cardinal directions. I've concluded it's a wiring issue in my brain!

 

I have to stop and figure out where the sun is in order to remember, unless it's something generic like knowing I'm on the x-side of town.

[BlueTaelon]

My 14 year old recently disclosed that he doesn't know the order of the months. :( we never really did that calendar thing every day. It would be hilarious to start now!

Don't feel bad, I went to public and I had no idea there was an actual order until Jr high, I remember seeing the entire year laid out on the wall of the school office and it was a total shock.

[Guest]

This thread is definitely making me feel better about things! My DD is 5.5 and we're not even technically homeschooling yet. Some of the things she doesn't know just amazes me. I told her to go in the backyard and get something and she asked where the backyard was. We play in it everyday. Then I told her to get something that was in the bathroom sink and she asked me what a sink was.

Umm...actually this sounds like a language processing disorder. My now 17 yr old was exactly like when he was young. He could tell you what something did but not its name. For example "You can cook on it" was the stove. "It keeps you from getting wet when it rains" was an umbrella. I would keep an eye on that.

[Guest]

In 1st and 2nd, DD frequently insisted that she would only do school if we had a class of imaginary students participate. She would tell me where they sat, and I would have to call on everyone in turns, with DD playing the role of each of them in turn, often with different voices. Some of the classmates bore the names of her neighborhood friends or classmates at her enrichment program, but Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom were also students.

 

For an EPIC fail, yesterday we found some money lying in the gutter. Since I saw it first, I claimed it, then told DD she could have any coin she could correctly identify by name and value. The two pennies are hers now. I kept the nickel, quarter, and half-dollar.

 

Just now I quizzed her on her months of the year, which I know she re-learned in April of this year. She hasn't quite got them down. Her memory is a sieve unless it's lyrics--anyone know a pop/rock song for the months?

We sing the months of the year to the tune of Found A Peanut. And the days of the week are to the old Addams Family theme song.

[duckens]

We sing Months of the year to "Ride a Cock Horse."

 

January, February,

March, April, May,

June, July, August, September,

October, November, December's the end!

Sing them again as fast as you can!!!

 

Of course, we sing this while turning around in circles faster and faster!  :laugh:

[NASDAQ]

Reminds me of when my oldest dd was getting "placement" tested for Kindy to see if she needed speech.  They showed her pictures of TVs, vacuums, etc. that must have been a good 40 years old.  She had no idea what half of them were. It was hilarious.  My, how times have changed!   :lol:

 

My second child just had a speech assessment.

 

Out of a ten-item vocabulary test, they included pictures of a stamp, a calculator, and a bathroom scale. He's never seen a stamp, we don't own a calculator, and he's seen kitchen and math scales, but not a bathroom one.

 

Really? A stamp? I don't keep stamps in the house. And it was an _American_ stamp! We're Canadians!

[kwg]

My second child just had a speech assessment.

 

Out of a ten-item vocabulary test, they included pictures of a stamp, a calculator, and a bathroom scale. He's never seen a stamp, we don't own a calculator, and he's seen kitchen and math scales, but not a bathroom one.

 

Really? A stamp? I don't keep stamps in the house. And it was an _American_ stamp! We're Canadians!

 

 

We had a speech assessment and the question was something like "david grew a foot in college" and ds4 had tp pick the picture that matched. He chose the one with an extra leg and said " he must have turned into an alien"  :lol:

[brehon]

It is one of the stories that will be handed down in the annals of our Youth Group that some of the older kids (juniors and seniors) were talking about a road trip to Dublin for some authentic Dr. Pepper (of the kind bottled only in Dublin) and dd, then a ninth grader and normally both bright and savvy, asked incredulously how one could drive to Dublin?

 

Turns out she wasn't quite up to speed with the older gang/impromptu road trips/hometown brew fetish, and the fact that there is a Dublin, Texas.

 

Would that be a reverse homeschooling fail?

Yes. Yes, it would. The only kind of Dr Pepper I like is the *true* Dr P.

 

One of my 2 other "cokes sins" is thoroughly and shamelessly enjoying an ice cold Mexican Coke straight from the bottle. <aaahhhh>

[Lara in Colo]

I have to stop and figure out where the sun is in order to remember, unless it's something generic like knowing I'm on the x-side of town.

 

That's why is is great living in the Denver metro area.  For the most part, the mountains are to the West.

 

Now I cannot figure out how to turn left out of my driveway........................

 

I do cope however, I do most of my instructions  (when we are in the car together) are based on where people are sitting--- so turn  your way or my way is a a common phase when we are going somewhere.