Do you say daily affirmations to yourself - or have your children say them?

[Hannah]

I listened to a sport psychologist speak today and part of his message is "you are what you say".

 

He had his son recite what I'd describe as a 'personal credo' of affirmations which they apparently say daily. I can't remember the details, but he included things like

I love my parents and my sister whom I treat kindly,

I have self discipline and take on any challenge knowing that I will succeed.

etc.

 

Do you say daily affrmations to yourself? Do you have your children say them?

 

(Edited to fix the tiny font size)

[Pod's mum]

"I won't get sucked into spending hours on the WTM forum."

[Rosie_0801]

Not my style, but words of affirmation are not my love language. I wonder if they are correlated or if that is just me.

[Hannah]

"I won't get sucked into spending hours on the WTM forum."

 

:lol:

[KungFuPanda]

Yes. And I always end it with

 

". . . and dogonnit, people like me."

 

Honestly, I'm not sure I could keep a straight face.

[annandatje]

... Do you say daily affrmations to yourself? Do you have your children say them?

 

No and no.

[elegantlion]

"This too shall pass" might be mine

 

 

I believe in some aspects of the power of positive words. I have a negative, "OMG we're all going to die" type of subconscious. It's great for planning and critical thinking, it sucks sometimes. So I have used some you can do this type of phrases to quiet those inner worries. I also use music, Beethoven really helps me focus. But most of that starts as internal thoughts and action.

 

To assign one phrase to everyone or to make my child do it, wouldn't work here. I do try to help ds focus on what he can do instead of what he can't, so we have pep talks every once in a while.

 

I think positive affirmations can focus on perseverance and creating a positive outlook. I definitely see the application in a team sport setting. I probably have the same encouraging phrase I use for ds over and over, but I don't make him recite it.

[Chris in VA]

Sometimes a bible verse will pop into my head and I'll use it to remind myself of what I find to be true but have forgotten (like about anxiety or something).

But daily affirmations don't really float my boat. I am on the fence as to whether words themselves have power; I can see how things you are told over and over, even negative ones, by people you are supposed to trust (like your parents, no matter how crummy they may be, or influential peers, or leaders of some sort), can become core beliefs, but I think it's the authority and trust you assign to the people who tell you those things that make the words powerful to you. So, if you don't "like" yourself, or believe in yourself, I wonder if just repeating good things about yourself will really work--unless, perhaps, someone you find trustworthy and authoritative, as I said, has told you to.

[J-rap]

That's not quite my style, but I do believe that you can sometimes help direct paths in your brain by forcing certain attitudes. For example, I've read studies about people who tend to be negative about everything, but if they start behaving like they are positive -- talking positively, smiling, etc. (even if they don't feel it inside), there are actual physical changes that take place in the brain that help that person become more naturally positive. Or something like that. :)

[Jen in NY]

"This too shall pass" might be mine

 

 

I believe in some aspects of the power of positive words. I have a negative, "OMG we're all going to die" type of subconscious. It's great for planning and critical thinking, it sucks sometimes. So I have used some you can do this type of phrases to quiet those inner worries. I also use music, Beethoven really helps me focus. But most of that starts as internal thoughts and action.

 

To assign one phrase to everyone or to make my child do it, wouldn't work here. I do try to help ds focus on what he can do instead of what he can't, so we have pep talks every once in a while.

 

I think positive affirmations can focus on perseverance and creating a positive outlook. I definitely see the application in a team sport setting. I probably have the same encouraging phrase I use for ds over and over, but I don't make him recite it.

 

 

Maybe tangentially related:

 

When I was in college there was a book all the music majors read to get their head around performance anxiety, nerves, ... basically all that self-talk that can torpedo a live performance.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Tennis-Classic-Performance/dp/0679778314

 

I haven't read it in a while, but this thread reminded me of it, and made me want to take it out of the library.

[Beth in OH]

Sometimes a bible verse will pop into my head and I'll use it to remind myself of what I find to be true but have forgotten (like about anxiety or something).

But daily affirmations don't really float my boat. I am on the fence as to whether words themselves have power; I can see how things you are told over and over, even negative ones, by people you are supposed to trust (like your parents, no matter how crummy they may be, or influential peers, or leaders of some sort), can become core beliefs, but I think it's the authority and trust you assign to the people who tell you those things that make the words powerful to you. So, if you don't "like" yourself, or believe in yourself, I wonder if just repeating good things about yourself will really work--unless, perhaps, someone you find trustworthy and authoritative, as I said, has told you to.

 

This. I do not do any type of daily mantra, ever, but I do pray, meditate, and study the Bible (my faith's foundational book). Part of the teaching of Christianity is about who we are in Christ--forgiven heirs to the Kingdom. This is the most important affirmation in my life, and I do remind myself of it through the practices above.

[GailV]

I do it for me. It probably takes a different form than what the guy was talking about, though. For example, I have phrases I say to myself during certain times, such as if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to avoid that racing-mind-spiral that keeps you up for hours.

 

I let my kids know that this type of thing is available to them if they want to try it. I might suggest phrases, but I wouldn't assign anything to them. For example, when they were in competitive dance I showed them how to do EFT during events to help relax (example here: http://mysoccerfriends.net/blog/2011/04/02/eft-helps-tennis-coach-win-competition/ ). It's up to them if they want to try it or not. (I think of EFT as sort of affirmations on steroids, since it gives an entire little choreographed routine.)

 

Dh is a huge fan of thinking through a certain piece of music during his second serve, by the way. He says it allays the pressure about getting it in, so he's more likely to actually succeed.

[MomatHWTK]

I would imagine the exercises is related to countering the stressful thougths we often allow to begin our day.

 

Here's a little information:

http://education.jhu.edu/PD/newhorizons/strategies/topics/Keeping%20Fit%20for%20Learning/stress.html

 

I learned about the topic via a Coursera class and have started looking into some activities that my DS can do. I have found them to be helpful for me as well. Various methods work for various people but basically it is a way to refocus the brain.

[prairiewindmomma]

You mean beside, "Put down the chocolate and walk away?"

 

In all seriousness, sometimes I give myself pep talks throughout the day, but I'm not a visualizing success kinda gal.

[Lady Florida.]

Yes. And I always end it with

 

". . . and dogonnit, people like me."

 

Honestly, I'm not sure I could keep a straight face.

 

I couldn't keep a straight face when I read your post.

 

 

Seriously, no. That's not my thing. I do however, believe that constant negative thinking will make you miserable. I will occasionally give myself a pep...statement? Not really a pep talk, but a "Come on, you can do this." kind of thing. I don't say it out loud, which I think is what you do with affirmations.

[Orthodox6]

"No" and "no". To me, this would be a sort of "para-religious" exercise, thus unnecessary.

[Anne in CA]

My cousin has a daily blessing she prays over her kids and it seems to positively effect their growth. It is sort of the same thing I guess.

[Mom in High Heels]

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dogonit people like me. Sometimes I like to mix is up and say "you is good, you is kind, you is important."

 

To answer seriously though, no, I don't.

[SunnyDays]

I have to say, the first thing that sprang to mind upon reading the title: Stuart Smalley. Great minds and all that.

 

But no, it isn't anything we do here either.

[QueenCat]

Nope... my mother did something like the op describes and it drove me batty growing up. Especially as a teen. Still drives me batty when she does it or tries to get me to do it.

[xixstar]

I have used it during times of high stress and it has been helpful. I tried it after doing a Hypnobabies birth prep program and they use it. I didn't find their's too useful since it addressed concerns I didn't have so I made up my own to use and then branched out to using it in other areas of my life like "I respond kindly and lovingly to my children. I have patience for my children." etc.

 

Helpful during stressful moments in my life and gets forgotten when things are going well.

[Guest]

I haven't recently, but I have used positive affirmations and also a self-hypnosis CD for this purpose. I don't know if it makes a huge difference, but I do think thoughts are powerful things. I'd rather have positive thoughts implanted in there.

[Dandelion]

Stuart Smalley was the first person I thought of when I read the thread title too. :tongue_smilie:

 

We don't do daily affirmations, but I do believe words are powerful. There's truth to the premise that "you are what you say". I teach my kids to choose their words carefully, whether talking to others or talking about themselves.

[mommymilkies]

I also thought of Stuart Smalley! Seriously though, I think they are great, I just can't do it without picturing him. I did use self-hypnosis fairly successfully in my last two births, though. My internal pep talk has a sadistic, pessimistic gothic chick as its persona, though.

[eaglei]

This. I do not do any type of daily mantra, ever, but I do pray, meditate, and study the Bible (my faith's foundational book). Part of the teaching of Christianity is about who we are in Christ--forgiven heirs to the Kingdom. This is the most important affirmation in my life, and I do remind myself of it through the practices above.

 

 

All of the bolded part. Also, not as a mantra, but I do repeat certain things to myself (key words = to myself) most days. I've been through some very rough times and have learned through them that this really helps in the *going through* times as well as afterwards. Sometimes it is what gets me through a day, knowing that I've not only affirmed certain things, but, importantly that those affirmations line up with scripture. Sometimes the affirmation is quoted scripture. But again, this is something I do quietly - it may be totally quiet within my thoughts, or in a whisper when I'm alone, or even out loud when I'm alone. It's not something anyone else in my household does and it's certainly not something I would expect.

 

 

I couldn't keep a straight face when I read your post.

 

 

Seriously, no. That's not my thing. I do however, believe that constant negative thinking will make you miserable. I will occasionally give myself a pep...statement? Not really a pep talk, but a "Come on, you can do this." kind of thing. I don't say it out loud, which I think is what you do with affirmations.

 

 

The bolded parts. Sometimes I need my own pep talks that I can do this!

 

 

Stuart Smalley was the first person I thought of when I read the thread title too. :tongue_smilie:

 

We don't do daily affirmations, but I do believe words are powerful. There's truth to the premise that "you are what you say". I teach my kids to choose their words carefully, whether talking to others or talking about themselves.

 

 

The bolded part. Very important.

[Dory]

I believe that words can have a huge affect, positive or negative. I won't however assign phrases to people to say. The brain doesn't responds to cliche's, if I assign the same phrase to them every day all it becomes is a cliche. In order for words to mean something they have to be meant. I encourage the kids to speak positively and often ask them to reword things, but with words that they mean and that they thought of themselves.

 

Make it real and make it matter. That's the way I look at it anyway.

[LucyStoner]

We do not. However we do meditation and I regularly discuss and reinforce the idea that we need to watch our self talk/voice in your head and make sure that you are not dragging yourself down. I used to be super self critical to the point of berating myself for stuff that was totally not my fault/totally out of my control and it didn't do me or my health any favors. I feel we need to be self aware and acknowledge faults but it doesn't help to hold a highly critical self image. Affirmations are not my thing though. I would feel absurd saying things like that out loud about myself.

[Pawz4me]

I'm not intentionally making light of the question, but it just occurred to me that the closest I come to an affirmation is when I wake up every morning, sit on the side of the bed and think: "Coffee. Coffee will make it better." :tongue_smilie: I repeat that phrase at least four times throughout the day. ;)

[KungFuPanda]

My son's daily quote is "Good Morning. Is it Tea Time?"