PollyOR Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Perimenopause and 11yos don't mix. 11yo: :001_tt2: (let me see just how silly I can be!) Mom: :banghead: (Warning - you are making me frustrated!) 11yo: :rofl: Mom: :gnorsi: (Go to your room!) 11yo: :confused1: :crying: (What did I do wrong?) Mom: <_< (I'm so ready to retire from this homeschooling gig) Mom: :chillpill: (in time out) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 :lol: It could be worse. When I was in late high school/early college, I couldn't figure out why my mother was such a shrew. Now I know. LOL Not. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Seriously, if anyone has any suggestion as to how we can survive this hormonal roller coaster ride (perimenopause) I would appreciate the tips. Public school for 11yo isn't an option at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 :lol: It could be worse. When I was in late high school/early college, I couldn't figure out why my mother was such a shrew. Now I know. LOL Not. :grouphug: Hopefully they'll forgive me ... in the future. Thanks for the hug. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 My mother in law had a complete hysterectomy around the time my dh turned 13 or 14. It was a total MESS! My fil said that he dreaded coming home from work every day. It is probably a good thing that my dh went to school and was not homeschooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Oh, I relate SO much!!!!!! I'm in peri and she's 10. OMG. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I'm shipping my 11yo off for most of the summer, and I'm looking forward to some emotional down-time. I tell her that we spend the rest of our lives actively repressing the experiences of puberty, so it's impossible for me to really *get her* and so there's no point telling me I don't *get her* (I admit it!) but I'll continue to do my absolute best. That at least makes her laugh. [she's quite happy to go, an accident last year caused her miss all her resident camps, so she's making it up by doing extra this year.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishMum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Seriously, if anyone has any suggestion as to how we can survive this hormonal roller coaster ride (perimenopause) I would appreciate the tips. Public school for 11yo isn't an option at this point. Progesterone cream! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I had my kids when I was older...peri menopause and three kids under six is ..... Unmentionable lol. When my kids hit their pre teens I will be in full blown menopause ....lucky them lol. Have your kids young ladies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanikit Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 This is something I have been warning my husband about already - I get severe PMS and it is affecting everyone - apparently the chances are likely that firstly perimenopause will be worse and secondly that by the time I get there my children will be starting with bad PMS themselves. Would love some tips now. I suspect though that the things they say would work for PMDD might just work for perimenopause too. The ones I know about are: vitamin B magnesium in high doses omega 3 some version of the pill (different ones work better for some than others) - some people respond well to oestrogen based and others to progesterone based and if you get the wrong one for you you can make the signs worse. Any nutritional supplement needs to be given in high doses when your signs are worse - so normal dose most of the time and double the dose when you feel most frustrated. Let me know if it works as I think we could be in trouble when this hits our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecclecticmum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Same as above poster, Aunt Flo hates me and comes every month to try and kill me the most painful way possible. I usually use independant items during my bad bits, and alternate it with read aloud snuggling when I am having a good minute or two, plus if my painkillers kick in and I'm all dopey, I'm happy to have long discussions about things with the kids that would normally annoy me (I believe I answered the "are we there yet?" question in the car quite well last month, and by the time I finished my length spiel about why we of course, were not there, we were there :p .....oh and I wasn't driving. I don't drive :p ). Drill Games, Ipad Apps, and computer classrooms are good for the times when you are reaching the end of your rope. If you feel it coming on, just tell them they are "allowed" to go play such-and-such. Have a rotating list of stuff like that, and it seems more like rewards for the child, rather than punishments they don't understand because you're getting crabby. (Math Rider for instance, is something I plan to get soon, good for math drills, contains horses and princesses as well, I think?) Of course, there will always be times when one child "knows" I am having a super bad day, and will do anything they can (it seems) to make you go absolutely batty. If been known to just explode, like today. But Atlas knows why, and because of that, didn't get upset when I "exploded" (which was just me yelling and ranting and raving, and pretty much making no sense, and sounding like the crazy cat lady) she just looks at me, realizes I've snapped, and walks away to leave me in peace to calm down. Once I calm down, she's the first to tell me "mum, you went nuts! *giggles*". Of which I agree, and tell her either I've calmed down now, or I need to go have a lie-down and to please keep everything to a dull-roar, of which she agrees. She's a wonderful child. But I also have a SN child that demands things, a little preschooler, and of course, Atlas, who is a very, very curious, bright girl. So it's like listening to constant "are we there yet?, why is the sky blue? Look what I made. Sound is Vibrations mummy!" Even if I ask her nicely to leave me alone for a few minutes or be quiet, she'll still come and ask/show/tell something every minute. If I have a headache and need that quiet, that sort of thing can grate on me till I just explode. I'm still trying to figure it out. But usually I escape it by escaping them. If I feel cranky, I run to the toilet (or bedroom or somewhere with locks) lock myself in and concentrate on breathing and calming myself down. Now I have to go do some strange concoction for Chaos. xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 11 is still in training. 15 yo girls need to be sent to boarding school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Spammer reported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Oh, I think there are two spammers in this thread... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Oh, I think there are two spammers in this thread... (In my best Robert DeNero voice-Taxi-) "Are you talking to ME?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 No! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 No! LOL. I've realised you meant #11, I've just followed you to check them out and yup, cut, paste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Our 11yo son has figured out that ANY time I'm impatient with him during school, all he needs to do is stop & give me a nice hug. It works every time. He doesn't hug me often throughout the day, but he KNOWS that his hugs restore my sanity. I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Evening Primrose oil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I will be hitting menopause when dd hits puberty...my husband has already decided he will be working overtime during those years. :grouphug: maybe this is a good time to get her working on her own and you getting in the routine of long walks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 50 yo mom, almost 13 yo daughter------I'm right there with you! I started this past year working to find more independent/outsourced options, particularly for those areas where we butt heads most frequently. It helps for the most part, but we still have our days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Glad to know I'm not alone! Perimenopause for me, an emotional 15yo DD, a 13yo dd who has just started cycling.... if it's any indication of what it's like here, last night I heard the oldest two still awake at 11:30, and one was sobbing uncontrollably that the other didn't let her finish her sentence, that she doesn't let her talk. Ummmm, I'm pretty sure she was told to stop talking by the other because it was 11:freakin30 at night and they were supposed to be quiet two hours ago. :lol: :banghead: I'm usually fried by 8:30 AM. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 11yo is still alive. :thumbup1: My temporary fix last night was a Mango-A-Go-Go smoothie from Jamba Juice. Thank you for all the suggestions (and commiseration!). I need to find a more permanent solution so I can enjoy life/homeschool instead of merely enduring it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 11yo is still alive. :thumbup1: My temporary fix last night was a Mango-A-Go-Go smoothie from Jamba Juice. Thank you for all the suggestions (and commiseration!). I need to find a more permanent solution so I can enjoy life/homeschool instead of merely enduring it. I heard the best line in Mad Men a couple nights ago. (Toast at a wedding to the mother of the bride): I want to say something nice about my ex-wife. Mona, you're a lioness. And thank you for resisting the urge to eat your cub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I will be hitting menopause when dd hits puberty...my husband has already decided he will be working overtime during those years. :grouphug: maybe this is a good time to get her working on her own and you getting in the routine of long walks. My best friend said her mother's menopause was horrible. Her, her dad and her three brothers used to fight to take the dog for a walk. Sometimes, one of them was waiting on the dog to get back, so that he could go on another walk. This was with public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 So how long after a girl starts menses does the emotionality, etc peak (if ever----I know I'm just heading into the full force of mine, unfortunately)? She started earlier than many (though a year later than I did as a child), so we are at about 2 years here. It seems as if things are a bit better than they had been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiltymamma Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I will be anxiously following this thread for suggestions too- Started our family late: 45 yr old with 2 5 yr olds, a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. 2 of my kids have learning/behavioral issues and 2 are super smart. I'm only schooling 1 right now but finding it difficult to handle life with peri menopause and 4 small kids at least 1 week out of the month! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Yeah, we haven't hit this phase yet, but it looms. I have two girls, the younger of which has a...difficult...personality. Just as she's getting into the swing of hormonal insanity, the older will already be in the middle, and I'll be hitting perimenopause. My DH has decided that he's going to be working a LOT during those years. I won't lie: I'm terrified! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 When my daughters are 12 and 15, I will be 45. We're already an angsty bunch, so this will be really interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 So how long after a girl starts menses does the emotionality, etc peak (if ever----I know I'm just heading into the full force of mine, unfortunately)? She started earlier than many (though a year later than I did as a child), so we are at about 2 years here. It seems as if things are a bit better than they had been. my dd started at 12 and she's now 15.5 with no abatement in sight. However, this child is EXTREMELY intense, so I have a feeling that it may just be like that for a good long while till she has the maturity to figure out that the world is not out to get her. I ve found that extremely hard exercise helps to knock the rough edges off of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandragood1 Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I recently read a book, The Hormone Cure, which had some ideas for dealing with peri menopause, PMS, etc. There are checklists to help you figure out which hormones may be low or high. I particularly liked that the ideas start with non prescription things like deep breathing and mindfulness, move on to vitamin and herbal supplements, and then go to Rx solutions. Her recommendations are extensively footnoted - on my Kindle version I recall the footnotes being more than 25% of the book! Anyway, I'm slowly trying some of these ideas. I find it difficult to remember to take supplements. Perhaps you will have better luck. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffybunny Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Don't suffer: take the pill or HRT! I'm in my 50s and still on a very low dose pill and I feel fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 The differences are night & day when I remember to take my uber-special daily multivitamin (PMS formula) & dd#1 remembers to take her "stress vit B" (+ flax oil). When we don't ... we get yesterday. :gnorsi: :gnorsi: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 The differences are night & day when I remember to take my uber-special daily multivitamin (PMS formula) & dd#1 remembers to take her "stress vit B" (+ flax oil). When we don't ... we get yesterday. :gnorsi: :gnorsi: Can you tell me more about htese? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I had 10 yr old twins when I was 50. Not a smart idea. I should have asked for advice. As it was, I found regular walking/exercise, vitamins, and of course, wine. It does get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Perimenopause and 11yos don't mix. This was our past year! DD was in puberty! Yikes! We didn't fight, but neither of us had a brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Vigorous exercise helps the peri- and menopause symptoms; evening primrose oil, reducing or eliminating dairy, black cohosh and/or soy isoflavones for hot flashes. Hormone replacement therapy has helped me, but I don't recommend it as it does have risks that each person needs to thoroughly evaluate before choosing to use or not use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 It's not just the girls. My 12 yr old ds has roller coaster emotions. Oy! I've been blindsided by this. No one told me that boys go through mood swings and irrationality during puberty. No one. I was never warned. So, ds with young male hormones raging through his body and me PMS is a bad combo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I live there. Teens + mom nearly into menopause = uneasy combination. I keep reminding myself that I survived the preschool years, and I can survive this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Can you tell me more about htese? My vitamins are these. (Although, I buy them from this place.) When I'm pregnant, I use the Pre-Natal ones sold by Kuhar. They really help, but they're not cheap. DH gets a kick out of the title (ProCycle PMS formula) because he doesn't think I have PMS. (See how well they work?) Older two daughters take one NatureMade Stress B Complex every day with one or two Flax Seed Oils. (Flax seed oil for the positive brain effects & to keep everything 'lubricated.') A friend recommended we try this (B-complex) as it really helped her daughters when their bodies were changing so much during puberty. There is so much nutritional stress during this time of their lives, it helps to have extra vitamins & nutrients going into their systems. We tried several B-complex vitamins and this one is the one that made a significant difference. Your mileage may vary! I don't start giving them until 1) they can swallow this big of a pill and 2) they start to show signs of puberty and they notice the mood swings. They will eventually transition to the same PMS formula as I have (starting w/ half dosage). I just haven't figured out yet when that'll be. :confused1: Right now, things are good .... as long as we remember to take our vitamins every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 It took at least 5 years for my hormones to settle after I started menstruating. Then I had my kids at 38 and 40. Luckily they are boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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