Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Thanks so much everyone for having this conversation with me. We have much to think over and discuss or not discuss as the case may be. ((hugs)) to everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Can you get her to drink a protein shake or something like Boost for breakfast? Convince her to make that Einstein's bagel a sandwich, rather than just the bagel? Approach it as "for the baby's sake" and not so much a concern for her? Have healthy but calorie loaded snacks she can grab and go....cliff bars even? :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for you, and her, and the whole situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I would not pressure her to wean. I would suggest high calorie smoothies and calorie-dense snacks. Maybe help her premake some breakfast burritos or something? I am not at home right now, but I have posted threads asking about high calorie snacks because my kids are underweight. I received some really good suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I went through something similar when I was 18. Perhaps buy a bunch of those Instant Breakfast things for her? Make her milkshakes with lots of protein powder? Buy fresh loaves of bread and avocados and such for her? Is she living with you? If it is Celiac's, you can approach things from that angle with her. It could definitely be causing her to lose weight due to digestive issues. If it is CD, going gf might just be the straw on the camel's back right now. Is there any way you can get snacks and meals prepared for her? Weaning will not likely help her right now psychologically, at the very least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Your daughter's body type sounds similar to one of mine, who was never on the growth chart as a baby either. She is now about 5'5, 100 pounds, and a size 0 or 2. She's just very petite, although she IS a pretty good eater. However, in the morning she is never very hungry. Even now I get protein shakes for her, or something like Carnation Instant Breakfast and blend in a banana. Whenever possible, I'd help your daughter think of protein snacks and meals, not just carbs. If she is on the go a lot, there are lots of protein snacks/bars at health stores that she can eat on the run. Maybe she is the type who prefers to snack (have light meals) throughout the day rather than fewer but bigger meals. Cheese sticks, almonds, carrots and peanut butter...those are things you can eat quickly but would maybe help build up the calorie count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 As someone who was 5'6" and 105 on a heavy day who now has a dd who is 5'8" and 110 at her heaviest, her weight doesn't sound all that off. Too low, probably so. (Especially since you know/see her.) But, your has been medically okayed. Her blood levels are fine. Stress and time to eat are definitely most likely the problem. My advice would be to get her gift cards to places that deliver. Make it easier for her to eat. Do what you can to eliminate her stress (without overstepping your boundaries). Beyond that, don't push it. She is an adult. The fact is that your pushing is only going to add to her stress level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Does she seem tired or look unhealthy? Are there reasons you are concerned other than the weight/height/BMI numbers? I am not a doctor but IME some people just run on less. I am 4 inches taller than your dd but was around 105 pounds when dd was an infant and I was bfing. I felt good, had no health problems, and my doctor was not concerned. Everyone else seemed to be though..... My natural "set point" seems to be right at 110 or 115, but bfing knocked it down a few pounds for that time period. It went back up after dd was weaned. 91 pounds seems scarily low but if her health stats are good and she feels good, it is not outside of the realm of healthy in my non-medically-trained opinion. 1800 calories to fuel a 91 pound body is not super-low, even when bfing. I can see why she would balk at 3000. I don't think I could eat that much each day. That said, it sounds like she is super busy and stressed out. Helping her to have access to easy, healthy, and high-calorie foods cannot be a bad thing. Is she on board with help from you in this area? Bagels and sandwiches are not a great way to fuel a body day after day. If he is not on board and her doctor is not alarmed, you might have to just let it go for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 First of all, I think you are wonderful for caring about your daughter. I think b'feeding is good for the baby and is probably good for the mom-baby bond, and part of the reason she is happy and mentally healthy, so probably that is all good. I agree with the protein shakes idea. Also, granola bars in her bag might help. Popcorn when she is watching TV? Plates of munchies on the table often? Cheese cubes in a ziploc bag on her desk for munching on? If she is drinking milk and eating bagels and drinking hot chocolate that sounds good. Also, make sure she is taking a supplement (not sure how you feel about supplements but just making sure she doesn't become deficient in some vitamin or mineral). I like Airborne (the pink flavor). Also, this may seem silly, but buy larger glasses? Then she fills up the glass with milk more in the mornings. I am suggesting, in reverse, all the things I am doing to lose weight (trying to stop snacking while watching movies, not having munchies in the house, not having ready-to-eat cheese in the fridge, using smaller plates). Hugs to you and to your daughter. And to your daughter's baby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I can sympathize with your daughter. I have a similar body type and lost quite a bit of weight while nursing each of my kids. Your daughter's BMI sounded low to me for her height and weight so I put it in a calculator and it came up at 15.6. That's still low, but honestly,it's not that bad. I actually did have a BMI of 14 and below at my lowest weights when nursing. I was not starving myself, ate a ton, and all that. I was 5'2 and 75lbs before I started to regain weight. I had a very heavy milk supply and I think it is the milk that is taking the calories. How old is the baby? If he's close to 10-12mos, then if she's like me, she will gradually start to quit losing weight and start gaining back a little around then. The baby will start eating more solids, probably reduce his intake of breastmilk, and her supply will slowly become lower. Most likely, she will not have to do anything unusual or different than her normal routine to get back up to around whatever her normal weight is within less than a year. My mother was very worried about me. I was mildly worried the first time, but after the first, I knew what to expect and did not stress. I was very annoyed by my parents' worrying and nagging. IMO, there was nothing I could do and I was not going to wean. I did try to eat 3000 or more calories, but I was also working out and lifting weights. Lifting weights would be good for her. It will increase her hunger and help her maintain bone mass. I would not get tested for celiac unless she had reasons to want to test before she became pregnant. I don't think upping her calories would help much (unless she upped her activity). It could just go into making more milk! With the low weight, I think it is very different if you get that way from nursing vs getting that way from starving. She is still getting regular, frequent meals, her body is getting nutrition and pulling out what she needs. The real physical concern would be that if she were to get really sick at this point, she has nowhere to go. If she were to get the flu, for instance, you'd want to make sure she stayed hydrated and kept her electrolytes up more so than with the average adult. If she hasn't already, I'd suggest she get a flu shot. I hope things get better for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I am 5'2 and weighed 90-92 when I was in college, and I was healthy. I was never on the weight charts growing up either. I understand the concerns because she is bf'ing, but otherwise I would not see a big reason to worry. I think putting a lot of pressure on her about eating and testing could make her more stressed out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'm sorry. I have no advice, but just had to offer hugs. Worrying about our kids is tough. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Some people do just lose a lot of weight while bf'ing, and I don't think weaning her baby is necessarily the answer. Is it possible for you to pack a lunch for her (or at least snacks -- apples, cheese, bag of nuts, hard-boiled eggs, etc.), and/or to make a breakfast for her? At least she's drinking milk in the morning; it could be worse, but something a little more substantial would probably be good for her. Maybe if you handed her a bag of food as she was running out the door, she would be willing to eat it. Homemade granola bars, or muffins if you can toss in some extra protein powder, or, my favorite, breakfast sandwiches (scramble some eggs, put them on bread with some cheese and ham/bacon if you want, and toast it all for a few minutes)? Having the food right there might mean she'll eat it, and since she's working so hard, she might appreciate someone else taking care of her needs a bit. (And she might appreciate not having to spend money on eating out.) But really, she IS eating, and her diet could be a lot worse. (((HUGS))) to all of you. It sounds like she's doing very well and is caring for her baby quite admirably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Has her thyroid been checked? Pregnancy and nursing can really throw off everything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I agree with the thyroid check. My dd is 5'5" and weighs 88 pounds. She is long legged and lean. And now that she has a full mouth of braces, she has a hard time getting in enough calories. I have her eat coconut butter and peanut butter daily. I know it is difficult and worrisome...can you buy her daily vitamins to take? Because her diet isn't very well rounded, she should at least do that. My dd gets a b-1, b-12, daily vitamin, and calcium daily. She noticed a marked difference in how she felt once I started pumping the B vits into her. ((((hugs)))) If you buy fruit cups or other healthy on the go foodstuff, do you think she will eat them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I was barely 105 at 5'3" in college. I just didn't eat a lot but I did eat whenever I was hungry. If she has been medically cleared and since it really does not sound like an eating disorder, I would not worry about it. Three thousand calories, even nursing, sounds like way too much for a 91 pound person. Even nursing and weighing about 150 after my daughter was born, I rarely ate mpre than 1200-1500 calories a day. My body knew what it needed. Not nursing I am still only eating about 800-1000 calories a day and am healthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I agree with the others - see if you can encourage her to switch from a plain glass of milk in the morning to something with a little more calories - Carnation Instant tastes good, but there are others. Encourage her to add in a pre-bed snack -something she could nibble on while baby is nursing that last feeding before bed time. And I think you are on the wrong track encouraging her to wean. She is healthy and busy, even if you feel as though she is on the skinny side, and there is no reason not to keep up bfing as long as she and baby are doing well, even if it is inconvenient. I would instead just encourage her to add in a few extra calories here and there "because baby is growing so fast these days" ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 It's hard to be the parent of a child this age - always struggling with when to say something and when to forebear. I know you must be really worried about her, but there is only so much you can do and say without being pushier than a 20 year old is willing to put up with. I might just talk to her in terms of milk production - rather than making it about her being too thin, talk to her about how to make her diet healthier so that she can continue to breast feed - making drinking a protein shake instead of milk, adding in a piece of fruit, keeping little packets of nuts and raisins in her pockets, etc. Good luck. I do think that is a very low BMI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexigail Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I know you're worried but I really wouldn't push on the weaning thing, especially if she already knows how you feel about it. It sounds like what she need is love, support, and a good vitamin supplement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I too would go the "to make sure your milk is plentiful and rich" route and talk to her about snacks you could have on hand for her to take. Snacking all day may be her best bet. Stable things she can keep in her bag/car/desk. Nuts, homemade muffins (you can add in flax seed for some healthy fats), even larabars or the like. A hearty breakfast would be good too. Shake or breakfast burrito. And think outside of the box for breakfast (I do not like breakfast foods) but think leftovers made into a sandwich, etc. (meatloaf sandwich,yum!) My DH's metabolism is like that and he needs snacks all day long to maintain his weight. A supplement would make sure she is not missing any nutrients and might help her energy level. There are tons of multi vitamins for nursing moms. And she would feel like she is doing all of this for her girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I would make eating higher calorie thing easier for her. Have things grab and go. Protein shakes made the night before breakfast burritos made on Sunday and ready for the week ham and cheese with apples in tupperware containers for me, when I don't eat regularly, I stop being hungry and can't eat. You know how people say they buy more when they grocery shop while hungry? I tour the store several times and buy nothing. Make eating easier, more portable, and more snackable (so she doesn't have stop for a whole sandwich, but can have a couple of bites of ham and apple between classes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Please don't pressure her to wean, (don't even mention it again), don't ask her to keep a food journal, and stop counting her calories. She's under tremendous stress. Support her in the self care SHE determines and reevaluate your parenting to match her age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I am that height and was at that weight at parts of my life when I was younger. For me it wasn't a calorie issue. It sounds like she isn't getting enough calories but it doesn't sound dire especially if she has always been skinny. Maybe preparing her breakfasts that are really easy to make would help. Also snacks that she can grab throughout the day that don't need preparing. Smoothies are a great way to get in extra nutrition. I would help her in making things easier for her to eat but I wouldn't ask her to stop nursing, comment on how skinny she looks or keep track of her calories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 As a mom with tall skinny kids, I think you may be overly concerned. Of course, you're there and I'm not, so I'm not discounting your personal knowledge of the situation. But if she's happy and her bloodwork and energy levels are normal, I think you should let it go. If she seemed depressed, I would feel differently. As for the baby, if she's happy and growing (even if thin), she's getting adequate nutrition. As a side note, I weigh quite a bit more than your dd, and just the thought of eating 3000 calories a day makes me feel bloated and nauseous. Bf'ing only requires 500 calories a day more than normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I would help her in making things easier for her to eat but I wouldn't ask her to stop nursing, comment on how skinny she looks or keep track of her calories. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Hmmm. Her weight sounds low to me but that doesn't mean much. But if she's truly getting 1500-1800 calories a day I don't think that sounds low. I gain for sure eating more than that, always have, even during nursing. I would just support her as well as you can & don't push anything. Unless you're concerned that she's moved into an eating disorder. If she's just busy & stressed but still eating, just provide good food for her when you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Was she that small before she started bfeeding? When I'm bfeeding my babies, I am MUCH smaller than I would be otherwise, like 15 lbs smaller. I don't watch what I eat AT ALL, and the lbs were still coming off and leveled out at around 6 months postpartum. Now, at 16 months pp, I am inching my way back up to my pre-pregnancy weight and trying not to eat third helpings. :) And when I'm not prego or bfeeding, my BMI is 21ish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I too would go the "to make sure your milk is plentiful and rich" route I wouldn't, if the dd knows much about breastfeeding. A woman's milk is pretty much the same no matter what she eats, even under famine conditions. Making crap up weakens your argument, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I agree with Joanne, entirely. Don't try to get her to wean. That's not good for her or for the baby, and not good emotionally. Drop that one, never mention it again. I can't possibly stress this enough. BFing is one of the things that probably makes her feel most capable and maybe even happiest. It's good for both of them. Leave it alone; if anything, encourage it. I would suggest backing off on the weight issue. It really doesn't sound too bad--I was like that for a while in college, and I could eat a 10 inch pizza and not gain weight. Make sure that she has bland protein sources available easily, but do not monitor her consumption of them. Also, FYI, when I was BFing I found that a fruit smoothie was wonderful--I would drink one and feel like a plant that just got watered--refreshed, revived, fed. I made them with frozen OJ concentrate, a banana, and frozen strawberries and/or blueberries. These are not really high or low cal but kind of neutral and give a lot of vitamins as well as crucial fluids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Please don't put pressure on her to wean before she is ready. Not only could that damage the mother-baby relationship, but she may resent you for it in the future. With my first, I was 20 and I got gaunt looking. Like skinny enough that people actually commented on it, strangers. I attribute it to the way my younger body changed shape after I had the baby and breastfeeding. It certainly wasn't my diet of Captn Crunch and Mac and cheese! The calorie range you mention is a normal range for a woman. She could certainly eat more, but it's not too low. I know it's easy to worry, but I would let the diet talk go for a while. I was a young mother (still am I suppose) and the stress from the outside can be too much at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Wow, you ladies have been busy with the responses. I will go back and read and then reply. - You have given me a lot to think about. Thank you so much for the honest opinions and different perspectives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Oh, one other thing.... it's not just me commenting on her weight. Both of her bosses have mentioned it as have her BFFs. People who haven't seen her in awhile are usually shocked when they see her again. She is tired most of the time but we can't tell if it is from late nights studying, not getting more than 2-3 hours of sleep at a time due to the baby wanting to nurse, stress, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 when i was a new mom for the first time, my mom said to me, "every time you nurse, every single time, you must drink 8 ounces of liquid". whenever i sat down to nurse, a glass of something would magically appear at my side. (moms are magical). for your dd, it could be a smoothy or a milk shake or an ensure or ??? this wouldn't feel so much like the meal police as like mom being considerate.... hth, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 As far as cooking special meals for her and getting up every morning to prepare her breakfasts - I am already preparing two meals for most meals for the family. One GF meal for DS and me and one regular meal for DGD, DD and DH. Breakfast is the one meal when everyone is responsible for him- or herself, except the baby of course. DH or I cook for her. I keep plenty of fresh ingredients on hand for a number of breakfasts. I also have 4-5 cereals, breakfast bars, etc. But cereal, breakfast bars, etc are not what an underweight young nursing mom should be eating (for her own sake). My suggestion is not that you cook for her every morning. My suggestion is that you help her pre-make lots of things on a weekend that she can just reheat. Breakfast burritos, egg "muffins" (like mini quiches in a muffin tin), egg whites on English muffins are all things that freeze well. I make smoothies for my kids using things like frozen smoothie mix you find in the frozen section of the grocery store. She could manage that as easily as a glass of milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 When I was nursing my first, I used a double shot of Carnation Instant Breakfast in my milk. Yes, lots of sugar and other stuff but it got the job done and was what I could handle at the time. I liked Ener-G snack bars when pregnant for extra protein. Raw sunflower seeds are a good high protein high fat grab and go snack for me as well. (Turns out the first was allergic to dairy and lots of other things, so the above advice only goes for folks who don't have a family history of allergies!) ETA: If you'd like some prepared snack foods that are gluten-free for your DS, try the Enjoy Life brands. I get mine from VitaCost. The Ener-G bars I mentioned are gluten free as well but are more $$. If you find a good homemade granola recipe you can modify it to fit your needs and it will be high calorie in small servings. One using molassas would offer added benefits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Weaning would be unhealthy and emotionally draining in that situation, though. Sounds like baby misses Mama when DGD has to be gone, kwim? That nursing & bonding time is especially critical right now, IMHO. And a good deal of a nursing toddler's nutrition comes through night nursing. So it really isn't a concern. If dd is comfortable with it, it is her choice. It's certainly not starving her to death! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 But cereal, breakfast bars, etc are not what an underweight young nursing mom should be eating (for her own sake). My suggestion is not that you cook for her every morning. My suggestion is that you help her pre-make lots of things on a weekend that she can just reheat. Breakfast burritos, egg "muffins" (like mini quiches in a muffin tin), egg whites on English muffins are all things that freeze well. I make smoothies for my kids using things like frozen smoothie mix you find in the frozen section of the grocery store. She could manage that as easily as a glass of milk. Gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. I read through the replies while on a break from housework and probably misread the intent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexigail Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 If your daughter is also concerned, maybe it's time to see a doctor and get blood sugar, iron, vitamin b, thyroid etc checked. It sounds like you're really trying hard to help and I hope things get better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I have two like that - my now-21-yr-old CollegeMan is 5'8" and 114 lbs. Youngest dd is 5'4" and 96 - 98 lbs. Both healthy - believe me, I have repeatedly had the pediatrician go over them and check them out and he assures me that they are the type of folks who are made to be slender and will out-live all us chunky folks. Neither likes b'fast. Each tends to eat one small and one big meal each day - I think in a former life they were snakes, and still think they have to only swallow one rat a day to live ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Honestly, as a tiny person, I don't see a problem. I went down that low during my son's second year of BFing. My mom constantly commented on my weight. It was really rude and annoying. I ate just fine. Once I stopped BFing, I gained 12 pounds in six months. I'd just encourage her to make sure she's eating healthily, and as others said, I would NOT ever mention weaning. Not your business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Honestly, as a tiny person, I don't see a problem. I went down that low during my son's second year of BFing. My mom constantly commented on my weight. It was really rude and annoying. I ate just fine. Once I stopped BFing, I gained 12 pounds in six months. I'd just encourage her to make sure she's eating healthily, and as others said, I would NOT ever mention weaning. Not your business. I am sorry your mom made you feel bad. I do not constantly comment on DD's weight. She is tiny and I have mentioned it, yes, but mostly I just keep quiet and speak to DH about it. I only brought it up here because she is losing weight, is down past her pre-pregnancy weight and she is concerned as well. I simply don't know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 So just a reminder--BFing generates hormones that make the mother feel calmer, stronger, happier, more protective, and more capable. I'm thinking that she needs this, and that the baby needs the bonding from it. Badly. So any solution should include sticking with that. That's my STRONG opinion. The baby is living a very stressful life, and to the credit of you and your daughter you're doing your best to mitigate that, but shoot, it's a 15 month old and all these change ups are not good for him. And BFing is helping, a lot. Personally I favor those smoothies I mentioned, but including Brown Cow yogurt (organic and full fat) and/or honey as well as the fruits--one for the road in the morning, and/or while BFing. And having a lot of cheese sticks and maybe those miniquiches from Costco (the kind that are frozen and intended for use as appetizers) on hand all the time. I think that a small incremental change like that would be very helpful. Also, I hope that she is still taking prenatal vitamins--Stuart's are excellent. She needs the iron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensonduck Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Night nursing is good for the baby and helps them re establish their bond. It's not a "bad habit". It's totally natural. Please don't advise her to wean or even night wean. That is for her to decide. You could see if there is a way to help set up her sleeping space to get more sleep?Are baby and dd cosleeping? If they do, baby could nurse without dd doing much more than rolling over. I cosleep and it dramatically improves my quality of life. Maybe see if dd would be interested in setting up her room for safe Co sleeping? (mattress on the floor works great for this.) On the food issues, it is tough. Just try to have things she likes around. Her tastes may be changing/a bit different after pregnancy and as she matures. A tupperware of hard boiled eggs in the fridge never hurt anyone, though. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 As someone who was 5'6" and 105 on a heavy day who now has a dd who is 5'8" and 110 at her heaviest, her weight doesn't sound all that off. Too low, probably so. (Especially since you know/see her.) But, your has been medically okayed. Her blood levels are fine. Stress and time to eat are definitely most likely the problem. My advice would be to get her gift cards to places that deliver. Make it easier for her to eat. Do what you can to eliminate her stress (without overstepping your boundaries). Beyond that, don't push it. She is an adult. The fact is that your pushing is only going to add to her stress level. I have to agree with this. I was very thin when younger, and so is my daughter now (taller and weighs a little less than Lolly's daughter!). She doesn't eat much when stressed either and stops when she is full. Some people just don't eat much while stressed, and it sounds as if she IS eating. Maybe you can casually grab her or make her great smoothies or other high calorie foods but I think not pressuring her right now would be a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'm sorry your daughter is facing that level of stress. It sounds like she's functioning very well over-all under a ton of presure. I'm also a skinny person who just doesn't put on weight. I have a son like myself. So a lot of this is probably just genetic in addition to the life stress. That said, I did have to be concerted about calories while breastfeeding. Fast metabolism and breastfeeding together can be a tough mix. I had a different kind of busy than your daughter but time to prepare food, when my boys were babies, was a struggle for me too. That doesn't mean she should stop something she feels good about though. It is great for the baby and bonding for her so I would try to help her do it in a healthy for her way as much as possible rather than trying to encourage her to stop. Weaning is, for many anyway, emotionally hard and you don't want to be the one pressuring that choice. I agree with others talking about easy to grab and go but nutrient/protein/calorie rich options would be great for her. I finally started drinking those protein shakes (Boost for example) to make up the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I agree with most of the other posters regarding not saying anything else about weaning. Who does the grocery shopping in the house? Is it possible to buy her some premade foods that are easy to grab and eat on the go without needing any preparation? Think of things like full-fat yogurt cups, cheese cubes, hard boiled eggs, individual cups of cottage cheese, premade hummus, little bags of almonds, Lara bars, instant breakfast, etc. I also liked the suggestion of giving her a few small gift cards for restaurants near her school/work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 It is normal for someone who had a baby and is skinny to still have a belly. I had a comment about when the baby is due once when I wasn't pregnant. I had tons of comments from people about my weight. It does not help to have lots of people commenting about it. It made feel terrible about myself. I know a lot of people who have toddlers who still wake 2-3 times at night. It isn't that out there. It is also normal for a toddler to not breastfeed when at dads but then want to when they are with their mom again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I am sorry your mom made you feel bad. I do not constantly comment on DD's weight. She is tiny and I have mentioned it, yes, but mostly I just keep quiet and speak to DH about it. I only brought it up here because she is losing weight, is down past her pre-pregnancy weight and she is concerned as well. I simply don't know what to do. I think that's the key -- that *she* is concerned. I think I'd just tell her, gently, that more protein is what she needs. And I'd brainstorm with her about foods that she likes and can prepare on weekends or that she can otherwise grab and go. Especially since you said she's tired and is concerned, I think you could just tell her that she needs more protein for energy. It doesn't really matter why she's tired (whether it's from stress, busyness, night nursing, etc.), unless there is a medical reason for it; she needs whatever will help her get more energy. It does sound like she eats a lot of carbs; even milk first thing in the morning can spike her blood sugar levels, and then when they crash, she'll feel worse. Then she's eating a bagel and hot chocolate, which is also high in carbs, so it's perpetuating the cycle. So she's getting through a large portion of her day without really great protein sources. I would really encourage her to have some easy-to-grab snacks on hand for the fat and protein. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I am sorry I didn't mean to imply that YOU had to do the cooking. I meant that you should help to gather stuff and ideas on the weekends and pre prep for the week. but mostly stuff that she can eat without any hassel (almost without thinking) like homemade lunchables that she can take with her and snack on in quick little moments of time. All that can be done on Sunday afternoon and put into ziplock bags (perhaps an insulated lunchbag) and grabbed on the way out the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Thanks for all of the new replies. I have spoken to DH about your suggestions and we are thinking about what we are going to do. Our biggest fear is that we do nothing and find out later on that there is an underlying reason(either medical or psychological) for the weight loss and that we could have done something to prevent it. Parenting a young adult who still lives at home is difficult, ask anyone whose young adults remain at home. Add a baby to the mix and it becomes even more difficult. We are so very proud of DD's accomplishments. She is a wonderful mother and loves her baby very much. I am concerned about a few things but what mother doesn't disagree with her daughter on some things? There isn't a woman here who can say that her mother agreed with 100% of her parenting decisions, nor is there a woman who can say that she has agreed 100% with her daughter's parenting decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 I am sorry I didn't mean to imply that YOU had to do the cooking. I meant that you should help to gather stuff and ideas on the weekends and pre prep for the week. but mostly stuff that she can eat without any hassel (almost without thinking) like homemade lunchables that she can take with her and snack on in quick little moments of time. All that can be done on Sunday afternoon and put into ziplock bags (perhaps an insulated lunchbag) and grabbed on the way out the door. That's okay. Like I said earlier, I just read through the responses while taking a break and I may have misread or misinterpreted some of the posts. I do like the idea of having DD prepare foods in advance for school days. That would make things so much easier for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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