Kids sneaking food -- at the end of my rope!

[Jpoy85]

How do you stop the kids from sneaking food when child safety locks wont work (they know how to open them) and they can climb over a baby gate (they get a kitchen chair to climb the tall baby gate)?

 

Im not talking about sneaking a cookie, im talking about entire bags of apples, gal of milk, jar of PB. Its NOT a matter of not feeding them- they are just that down right sneaky and defiant. (by the way, they DO get time outs when they do it and i DO find out because food is gone and they hide it under their beds).

 

EX: This morning i told the girls they could have an apple with lunch. I went to the bathroom and they got into the kitchen and got the entire bag of apples, went into their room and ate them ALL. I gave them a time out, explained that i told them they could have an apple with lunch and that they especially did not need to eat an entire bag. They had just had breakfast (oatmeal and poptart) at 9:30.

[NotSoObvious]

I would talk to your pediatrician about this. I would cause me great concern.

Edited November 9, 2012 by natnclay
Nm

[Slipper]

However, hoarding and hiding food can be a sign of a bigger emotional problem.

 

I would talk to your pediatrician about this. I would cause me great concern.

 

I agree. With your example, it's not like they are sneaking oreos and candy - they are sneaking what I would consider to be healthy snacks.

 

I don't put food off limits unless it's certain things for meals. The kids know they can eat fruit, crackers, pb, milk, popcorn unless it's an hour before a meal. Why limit?

[Mergath]

Why not make all healthy snacks available all the time? I've never heard of anyone restricting access to apples.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, the apples, milk and p.b. are all good choices. Both the milk and p.b. have protein which is going to hold them over to the next meal a lot more than something sugary. I would suggest that you make sure you have protein for them at their meals.

[milovany]

Food issue itself aside, which has been addressed above, there's also the issue of disobedience. I learned of a technique in a parenting book called "taking a break" (as opposed to a "time out"). With taking a break, you have the child wait in their room, or on a chair near you if you don't trust them alone in their room to accomplish this task. They can come to you when they can tell you what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and what they're going to do differently next time (you can prompt with the questions, them memorizing them is not the point; the point is having them decide when it's time to come out because they're willing to talk about things). None of this is done in anger. This is different from a timeout in that it's not just them killing some time as a punishment, it's them thinking about their actions, deciding when to come out, and talking it through. Makes it so much more effective. We all have an innate "voice" telling us right from wrong -- we can help our kids hear that voice and make better decisions based on it. It takes time and repeated effort, but it really does work.

Edited November 9, 2012 by milovaný

[dirty ethel rackham]

 

I would talk to your pediatrician about this. I would cause me great concern.

:iagree:

 

EX: .... They had just had breakfast (oatmeal and poptart) at 9:30.

 

I think I would also consider adding protein and fats to each meal. This breakfast looks very high in carbs and sugar. After eating this, I know that I would be very hungry an hour later and, if my blood sugar was dropping, would probably binge eat as well. I would look at a more whole foods diet with whole grains and lower sugar and add high quality fats and protein.

[mytwomonkeys]

i really can't advise because that is not an issue we've ever dealt with. however, for me i would look at the bigger problem of why they are sneaking the food. i would also try to control them less and let them have a little more input perhaps. they seem old enough that you wouldn't need to lock the pantry, and the fact that it is locked seems to trigger them to want to hoard the food. i'd say your method isn't working well. i'm sorry you are dealing with this:grouphug:

[Jpoy85]

I should explain- i dont care if they have an apple, make a sandwich, grab a glass of water, etc but when they are taking an entire bag/box/container then it becomes an issue. we have a strict food budget and it has to last 2 weeks.

 

They are 4 and 6, not adopted and no major changes in their lives. It actually only started when we moved to where we are now, which i know doesnt really make sense but before we lived here they never did this. Weve lived here since July.

 

I havent tried a cabinet just for them, which is an idea. Like a free for all.

[Parrothead]

Honestly they are better off having eaten the apples than the poptart.

 

I don't know why you are restricting the things you've listed. It seems very odd to me to restrict healthy foods yet dole out things like poptarts and expect them to be a meal.

 

It could be their little bodies are craving nutrients.

[Tap]

Is there a history of not getting enough food? Adoption, immigration from a poor area, etc?

 

A kid grabbing an apple because they are hungry is one thing, eating a bag of them???? How can two girls eat a BAG of apples? Unless it was a little one pound bag of mini apples or there was a lot of waste, I wonder how they could put that much food in their bellies. Did they hide them and just tell you they ate them?

 

Over eating to this point would be a Serious red flag that something is going on and I would be getting them into counseling ASAP. I would also start counseling for myself to learn how to help them through this. There is either a major eating disorder here, or a manipulation issue (doing it just to go against you) and either of them at this level need a different parenting plan. The best way to do that, is to get some outside perspective on the situation and some professional advice ASAP.

[Parrothead]

:iagree:

 

 

 

I think I would also consider adding protein and fats to each meal. This breakfast looks very high in carbs and sugar. After eating this, I know that I would be very hungry an hour later and, if my blood sugar was dropping, would probably binge eat as well. I would look at a more whole foods diet with whole grains and lower sugar and add high quality fats and protein.

:iagree:

[mytwomonkeys]

I should explain- i dont care if they have an apple, make a sandwich, grab a glass of water, etc but when they are taking an entire bag/box/container then it becomes an issue. we have a strict food budget and it has to last 2 weeks.

 

They are 4 and 6, not adopted and no major changes in their lives. It actually only started when we moved to where we are now, which i know doesnt really make sense but before we lived here they never did this. Weve lived here since July.

 

I havent tried a cabinet just for them, which is an idea. Like a free for all.

 

i understand budgets. i think giving them their own snack cabinet is a great idea. they will learn to ration this way and it teaches them responsibility. plus, it shows that you can trust them in decisions.

[milovany]

Why not make all healthy snacks available all the time? I've never heard of anyone restricting access to apples.

 

I've done it. An apple a day is usually the limit here. When you have seven kids and a limited income, you do what you have to do. We don't do a lot of snacking here; we eat three solid, healthy meals a day and then sometimes have an afternoon snack but there's no "eat whatever whenever" (even with healthy snacks). The kids are all healthy and fine.

 

ETA -- forgive me, I didn't read the original post well enough. I agree that oatmeal and a poptart (if this is a regular breakfast) is too much carbs and too little fat and protein. My preferred go-to breakfast is eggs.

Edited November 9, 2012 by milovaný

[Pawz4me]

Never mind -- a subsequent post by the OP clarified my concern.

[Parrothead]

I've done it. An apple a day is usually the limit here. When you have seven kids and a limited income, you do what you have to do. We don't do a lot of snacking here; we eat three solid, healthy meals a day and then sometimes have an afternoon snack but there's no "eat whatever whenever" (even with healthy snacks). The kids are all healthy and fine.

But there is a big difference in need when one is getting solid healthy meals as opposed to junk food.

[Jpoy85]

maybe im not wording it right?

 

Im not restricting healthy things. Im not restricting unhealthy things. ETA: I had locked the stuff because it was not taking a few of something. Im not even upset it was apples, im upset it was the bag of it.

 

Thanks for the suggestions and I will certainly ask the pediatrician. They dont have any weight issues or health issues. I think I will clear out a lower cabinet for just them and tell them they can have whats in there. I can put some of those juices (where its flavored water), granola bars, snack mixes, homemade popcorn, etc. Its worth trying.

[milovany]

But there is a big difference in need when one is getting solid healthy meals as opposed to junk food.

 

Yes, I corrected a post above -- didn't see that breakfast was oatmeal and a poptart. Don't know if that's the regular type of breakfast served or not but that would be one issue to look at.

[Tap]

I should explain- i dont care if they have an apple, make a sandwich, grab a glass of water, etc but when they are taking an entire bag/box/container then it becomes an issue. we have a strict food budget and it has to last 2 weeks.

 

They are 4 and 6, not adopted and no major changes in their lives. It actually only started when we moved to where we are now, which i know doesnt really make sense but before we lived here they never did this. Weve lived here since July.

 

I havent tried a cabinet just for them, which is an idea. Like a free for all.

 

Have you looked into a food pantry, WIC for your 4yo (it goes to 5yo here) or other services to get enough food into the home? I guess it depends on your definition of strict, but if they are not getting enough food, and this is the result, maybe you should explore avenues to more food into the house. Depending on where you live, many people have fruit trees in their yards. If you can put the word out, maybe you can find someone who will let you come pick some apples for free.

[SKL]

 

 

I think I would also consider adding protein and fats to each meal. This breakfast looks very high in carbs and sugar. After eating this, I know that I would be very hungry an hour later and, if my blood sugar was dropping, would probably binge eat as well. I would look at a more whole foods diet with whole grains and lower sugar and add high quality fats and protein.

 

Actually oatmeal is a pretty good source of protein. But I would cut the sugar (pop tart) which tends to encourage craving. And maybe add eggs, yogurt, or cheese.

 

I agree that there might be more to it than just being hungry or wanting to disobey. If they were just hungry or feeling naughty, they'd take one apple. What's with the whole bag?

 

Was there a time in their lives when food was "now you see it, now you don't"? Do they trust that the apples will be there when they are hungry for them?

 

Here's what I'd try. Take the kids with you when you shop and show them that you are buying 2 weeks' worth of xyz. Bring it home and put it where they can get at it, but remind them that's all there will be for the next 2 weeks. Then let them have it when they are home, with the exception of certain times (e.g., shortly before a meal or bedtime). Don't reserve fruits for meals, but do serve them at lunch/dinner if they aren't eaten as snacks earlier in the day.

 

If they eat all the apples on day 1 the first time, then they will be stuck with something they find less interesting for the next 13 days. No problem, but they will gradually learn to stretch them out on their own.

[Jpoy85]

Have you looked into a food pantry, WIC for your 4yo (it goes to 5yo here) or other services to get enough food into the home? I guess it depends on your definition of strict, but if they are not getting enough food, and this is the result, maybe you should explore avenues to more food into the house. Depending on where you live, many people have fruit trees in their yards. If you can put the word out, maybe you can find someone who will let you come pick some apples for free.

 

I just went to the food pantry yesterday and we spend about $400-$500 a month on food. L would age out of WIC in Dec.

[mytwomonkeys]

I think I will clear out a lower cabinet for just them and tell them they can have whats in there. I can put some of those juices (where its flavored water), granola bars, snack mixes, homemade popcorn, etc. Its worth trying.

 

sounds like a great solution. it certainly won't hurt to try:grouphug:

[mytwomonkeys]

I just went to the food pantry yesterday and we spend about $400-$500 a month on food. L would age out of WIC in Dec.

 

try couponing too. i started last month & i am saving a lot! i just bough oranges and two pineapples yesterday. they were on sale & i had coupons, so it was only $5! i also use coupons for all of my cleaning supplies, detergents, and toiletries. this frees up more money for more fresh stuff:D just a thought.

[Jerico]

I would be starving. Oatmeal holds me like 5 minutes. I have blood sugar issues. I've cut all grains mostly. We have 2 eggs and 1-2 pieces of bacon for breakfast everyday. I feed my kids pb & js or grilled cheese or quesadillas with apples/carrots for lunch. pretzels and peanut butter or fruit and cheese for snack and they eat dinner with us. We spend ~$300 on groceries for the 5 of us (including diapers and toilet paper). I'd tackle the food thing and the disobedience thing separately. Try adding more fat into their diet and less sugars/processed carbs. They may just be hungry!

[kewb]

I understand the budget issue completely. Have you asked them why they are sneaking food? Maybe they have heard you discussing the budget and came away with fear of there is not going to be any food tomorrow and we better have a stash. The amounts they are taking raises a red flag for me and you may want to talk to your pediatrician about it.

 

They could possibly be hungry. They are growing kids.

 

It also seems as though food has become a control issue. I would try to change that asap as that can lead to eating disorders. A snack cabinet may be the way to go along with a padlock on anything you don't want them getting into.

[Jpoy85]

I am about to go clear a cabinet and I will have them help me fill it. I will call the Pediatrician too and get an appointment.

[SKL]

Another thing. You mentined that this behavior started after you moved. Did your children lose something that they cared about when they moved? Did they feel the move was out of the family's control? Maybe just talking through that would help the situation. Talk about how they no longer have xyz, but the move has ensured they will have access to abc (something that can help them feel more secure).

[Slipper]

I am about to go clear a cabinet and I will have them help me fill it. I will call the Pediatrician too and get an appointment.

 

I think that's a good idea. I would also (because of their ages) tell them they should check with you before eating anything but that it's available, they just need to ask. Otherwise, it will LOOK like a free for all. :) And make sure they eat it at the kitchen table (or another designated place). That will give a clearer picture on whether they are actually hungry and eating the food.

 

I also agree with the others about poptarts vs eggs. You can make the oatmeal sweet if you want and scramble some eggs. If food is too sweet in the morning, my kids would crash and burn fairly quickly as well.

 

All the best :grouphug:

[Keniki]

I agree with those who say to add eggs. Eggs have far more nutritional value than poptarts and are cheaper too. I buy a box of 5 dozen at Wal-Mart and they figure out to .11 per egg.

[Pawz4me]

I would be starving. Oatmeal holds me like 5 minutes. I have blood sugar issues. I've cut all grains mostly. We have 2 eggs and 1-2 pieces of bacon for breakfast everyday. I feed my kids pb & js or grilled cheese or quesadillas with apples/carrots for lunch. pretzels and peanut butter or fruit and cheese for snack and they eat dinner with us. We spend ~$300 on groceries for the 5 of us (including diapers and toilet paper). I'd tackle the food thing and the disobedience thing separately. Try adding more fat into their diet and less sugars/processed carbs. They may just be hungry!

 

People are different.

 

I had a small bowl oatmeal and half a banana at 6:30 and I'm not beginning to be hungry yet. A couple of eggs and bacon? I'd be starving before I finished eating.

[Jeannie in NJ]

sorry wrong thread

Edited November 9, 2012 by Jeannie in NJ

[DawnM]

I don't think I am understanding. They are taking a full bag of apples and eating ALL of them? They are taking a full gallon of milk and drinking ALL of it at one sitting? They are taking a full jar of PB and eating ALL of it at once?

 

Or are they taking the above and hiding them?

 

Dawn

[Susan in TN]

:

I think I would also consider adding protein and fats to each meal. This breakfast looks very high in carbs and sugar. After eating this, I know that I would be very hungry an hour later and, if my blood sugar was dropping, would probably binge eat as well. I would look at a more whole foods diet with whole grains and lower sugar and add high quality fats and protein.

 

:iagree:

[EJCMom]

I think you've gotten some good advice in terms of giving them a snack cabinet, and that is certainly worth doing. However, I don't actually think it is about the food or them being hungry. I think there is likely something else psychological going on. If they clean out the snack cabinet before noon, I'd start seeking other explanations about why they are doing that.

[Mom-ninja.]

How is it possible for a 6 and 4 yr old girls to eat an entire bag of apples? My 11 and 8 yr old boys couldn't do that. :001_huh:

 

I think it's a combination of control issues and hunger. I would stop locking up food.

 

I grew up with very little money. When my siblings and I were little my parents were quite poor. I didn't know it then but my mom has told me now that she and my dad often went without eating so we kids would have enough to eat. Even so my mom always told to me never skimp on food. One can always cut back in other areas but food is priority #1 especially for children. My grandmother lived during WWII and had serious food shortages. If she found out I was locking food away from my kids she would beat the beegeezus out of me.

 

For the price of a box of poptarts you can buy another bag of apples or a dozen eggs.

Edited November 9, 2012 by Kleine Hexe

[Jpoy85]

I cleared the deep drawer for them (its suppose to be on of those bread drawers or utensil drawers i guess) and i put bagels in there and C put PB and L put carrots. They are putting homemade popcorn after lunch when i make some and C asked about celery so that will go in there too. we have to go out in a bit and ill pick up some trail mix or things to make it and add it. :001_smile:

 

I am going to wait til after lunch to call the Ped. BTW- for lunch they are having chicken noodle soup (homemade).

[Denisemomof4]

Dd9 used to gorge on food until she threw up. For YEARS. She was so deprived in the orphanage that when she came into a home with lot of food, she would eat until she threw up. I did some research and the information is what I think you should try with your kids.

 

First of all, such a high carb breakfast is going to leave them hungry. Make sure ALL carbs are balanced out by protein and fat. With oatmeal, throw in chopped nuts and seeds. Toast, add peanut butter. The fats and protein will carry them. High carb meals will leave them wanting to eat more and more.

 

Second, and this is my research, is to make them a snack bag daily. Provide ampke amounts of healthy snacks. Include fruits AND veggies, hummus with veggies, home made trail mix with some carbs and pkenty of nuts, seeds, dried fruit. Thry get their snack bag each morning, it should last a day. Make sure all meals are balanced, ask if they want seconds before leaving the table. My kids don't get snacks u til previous meal is 100% eaten unless it is something they really don't like, which would mean an alternative healthy meal (easy, don't set yourself up to be a short order cook) must be eaten before they get snacks.

[KungFuPanda]

Lots of great ideas here. I have a suggestion I haven't seen mentioned. If their breakfast oatmeal is the instant packet kind, try switching to steel cut Irish oats. They take longer to cook, but really stay with you. You can make a few days worth in the crockpot to make it more convenient and you can add fruit or nuts to it to make it yummier.

[Denisemomof4]

I should explain- i dont care if they have an apple, make a sandwich, grab a glass of water, etc but when they are taking an entire bag/box/container then it becomes an issue. we have a strict food budget and it has to last 2 weeks.

 

They are 4 and 6, not adopted and no major changes in their lives. It actually only started when we moved to where we are now, which i know doesnt really make sense but before we lived here they never did this. Weve lived here since July.

 

I havent tried a cabinet just for them, which is an idea. Like a free for all.

 

They could be going through a growth spurt.

 

I wouldn't try the cabinet because unlimited amounts/access doesn't sound like it would solve the issue.

 

I would keep a food journal on each. If this persists, I'd run it by the ped.

[Mom-ninja.]

I don't think I am understanding. They are taking a full bag of apples and eating ALL of them? They are taking a full gallon of milk and drinking ALL of it at one sitting? They are taking a full jar of PB and eating ALL of it at once?

 

Or are they taking the above and hiding them?

 

Dawn

 

 

I'm confused too.

[Denisemomof4]

maybe im not wording it right?

 

Im not restricting healthy things. Im not restricting unhealthy things. ETA: I had locked the stuff because it was not taking a few of something. Im not even upset it was apples, im upset it was the bag of it.

 

Thanks for the suggestions and I will certainly ask the pediatrician. They dont have any weight issues or health issues. I think I will clear out a lower cabinet for just them and tell them they can have whats in there. I can put some of those juices (where its flavored water), granola bars, snack mixes, homemade popcorn, etc. Its worth trying.

 

But balance those high carb snacks with veggies (veggies and hummus, celery and peanut butter) and nuts/seeds.

[fairfarmhand]

 

Second, and this is my research, is to make them a snack bag daily. Provide ampke amounts of healthy snacks. Include fruits AND veggies, hummus with veggies, home made trail mix with some carbs and pkenty of nuts, seeds, dried fruit. Thry get their snack bag each morning, it should last a day. Make sure all meals are balanced, ask if they want seconds before leaving the table. My kids don't get snacks u til previous meal is 100% eaten unless it is something they really don't like, which would mean an alternative healthy meal (easy, don't set yourself up to be a short order cook) must be eaten before they get snacks.

:iagree:

[Mom-ninja.]

Lots of great ideas here. I have a suggestion I haven't seen mentioned. If their breakfast oatmeal is the instant packet kind, try switching to steel cut Irish oats. They take longer to cook, but really stay with you. You can make a few days worth in the crockpot to make it more convenient and you can add fruit or nuts to it to make it yummier.

 

You can make it with cream too.

[Laurie4b]

There are two explanations that I'm familiar with: 1) they are not getting enough food and so when it's available, they pack it in. (This happens to adults, too, if hunger builds up, usually from "dieting"--suddenly, the urge to eat gets very intense and feels overwhelming, like one must eat or die.)

2) in my work in children's mental health, food also was very commonly a metaphor for love/nurturing. Parents complaining of kids "stealing" food was a red flag to a certain cluster of issues.

 

Since this happened since you moved:

 

1) If your food budget went down, this could be the answer: your kids are hungry and need more food, probably spread out across the day so that their blood sugar stays level.

 

2) It could also be the case that something in the move tipped the balance in their sense of security.

 

Either way, it's highly unlikely to be a behavioral/discipline issue for the children (eating a whole bag of apples would hurt); something else is at play. Find out what that something else is and address it and the food hoarding/gorging will stop.

 

I would very strongly encourage you not to use words like sneaking, stealing, etc. around this issue. They will be damaging and hold back progress on the issue---even if you are only using them in your own mind. I'd say there's over a 90% chance that they actually need something they aren't getting.

Edited November 9, 2012 by Laurie4b

[Denisemomof4]

Lots of great ideas here. I have a suggestion I haven't seen mentioned. If their breakfast oatmeal is the instant packet kind, try switching to steel cut Irish oats. They take longer to cook, but really stay with you. You can make a few days worth in the crockpot to make it more convenient and you can add fruit or nuts to it to make it yummier.

 

Absolutely! If it is high sugar, instant oatmeal, that definitely will NOT sustain them.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Second, and this is my research, is to make them a snack bag daily. Provide ampke amounts of healthy snacks. Include fruits AND veggies, hummus with veggies, home made trail mix with some carbs and pkenty of nuts, seeds, dried fruit. Thry get their snack bag each morning, it should last a day.

 

This is what I did before I got sick. It really worked well, because my kids wanted snacks all day long. They each had a bag in the fridge with their names on it, and one in the snack cupboard. Each morning I would fill their bags, and that was it for the day, other than meals. They learned to ration out their snacks that way, and they were very happy about it. I need to get back into that!

[DarlaS]

People are different.

 

I had a small bowl oatmeal and half a banana at 6:30 and I'm not beginning to be hungry yet. A couple of eggs and bacon? I'd be starving before I finished eating.

 

Oatmeal is different too. Are we talking about an envelope of instant oatmeal here or the kind you cook?

 

The envelope kind would cause me a sugar rush and result in hunger earlier. With the variety you cook, you can control the sugar content and add something like wheat germ or milled flax for more protein.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Actually oatmeal is a pretty good source of protein. But I would cut the sugar (pop tart) which tends to encourage craving. And maybe add eggs, yogurt, or cheese.

 

It depends on the oatmeal. The instant packets are so heavily processed and full of sugar that they have very little nutritional value and have a high glycemic index. Regular oatmeal or, even better, steel cut oats, have a lot more staying power. But, compared to eggs and a slice of whole wheat toast, they still have a high carb to protein ratio.

[Anne in CA]

Pop Tarts are sweetened with High Fructose Corn Syrup and if the oatmeal was the instant kind in the packets it was too. HFCS will not satisfy hunger cravings, that is a proven fact. Children who consume a soda before eating will not eat less than a child who has not had a soda, they will eat as much, because the HFCS in the soda does not trigger "full" to the child's mind.

[Carrie75]

I would think maybe a possible hypothalmus issue causing them to not get that "full" feeling, but the likelihood of that happening with both girls at the same time would be so small. I'd still run it by the ped like others suggested.