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Kids sneaking food -- at the end of my rope!


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They are 4 and 6, not adopted and no major changes in their lives. It actually only started when we moved to where we are now, which i know doesnt really make sense but before we lived here they never did this. Weve lived here since July.

 

Moving, which may not seem like a major change to an adult (or may), can by a major change in a kid's life and I would think does make sense in triggering behavioral changes. My son, who was adopted so more sensitive to moving perhaps, just this year stopped referring to the house we moved from when he was 3 as home. He had been sleeping through the night without a problem until we moved and we only within the past year or two returned to that.

 

Just to say I would underestimate the move. Good luck.

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Another option is to not allow food or drink of any kind outside of the kitchen/dining room.

 

It makes it a lot easier to see what they're grabbing.

 

My kids have bins in the fridge and some things are labeled. When ds was eating yogurt for breakfast, they were labeled with the days of the week. Without the label, he'd claim he did not eat one and would eat all 8 yogurts in a day.

 

I do the same for other foods and snacks.

 

We have a meal plan on the fridge and snack magnets so ds can make a decision before going in the fridge.

 

With no meal plan or posted meals, he freaks that we never have food, never have what he likes, or any number of things. Now he may get a little annoyed at his options, but he knows the options.

 

With things like apples or other fruits, i make sure to put a fair amount in dd's bin so ds doesnt eat everything before she's had some (somehow he listens to the bin rules!).

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Are they gaining weight? If not then I would say that they are going through a growth spurt and are hungry. They need the calories. If they are gaining weight then you could be dealing with some kind of medical problem like a thyroid issue or a reaction to a medication. If you can't figure it out I would start with your primary physician.

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I just went to the food pantry yesterday and we spend about $400-$500 a month on food. L would age out of WIC in Dec.

 

If the pop-tarts were from the food pantry, I'd save them for special treats rather than breakfast. If they weren't, and you have a limited food budget, buy something more nutritious that's less likely to promote sugar cravings. I apologize if that is overly blunt.

 

If you want to stick with the oatmeal for breakfast, adding a tablespoon of unsweetened peanut butter (or other nut butter) per serving can help increase the fat and protein and give it more staying power. But I'd experiment with different breakfasts, including trying avoiding grains entirely, and seeing if that makes a difference. It may cost a little more for the meal, but not more overall if it reduces the binging.

 

However, some kids do have real food-binging issues that aren't solved by diet. My housemate has a child with food stealing issues regardless of what we feed her. We have to have locks on our fridge and pantry cabinet. Real locks, not child-safe ones.

 

Here's what I'd try. Take the kids with you when you shop and show them that you are buying 2 weeks' worth of xyz. Bring it home and put it where they can get at it, but remind them that's all there will be for the next 2 weeks. Then let them have it when they are home, with the exception of certain times (e.g., shortly before a meal or bedtime). Don't reserve fruits for meals, but do serve them at lunch/dinner if they aren't eaten as snacks earlier in the day.

 

If they eat all the apples on day 1 the first time, then they will be stuck with something they find less interesting for the next 13 days. No problem, but they will gradually learn to stretch them out on their own.

I don't see this working with kids this age who seem to have food issues of some sort, especially since it sounds like this would interfere with their nutrition (if you eat all the fruit you're gonna get for two weeks in one day, a lot more is going to go to waste than if you spread it out over the course of two weeks).

 

I'd start with a day's worth at a time and gradually work up if their ability to self-regulate increases.

 

But balance those high carb snacks with veggies (veggies and hummus, celery and peanut butter) and nuts/seeds.

:iagree:

 

For an experiment... Even if you don't believe it to be true, pretend for a few weeks that sugar and grain-based foods increase the appetite and create a desire to eat more, while not providing any vital nutrients that can't be obtained from another source. Also pretend that, at least for kids, healthy fats (ie. not trans-fats or anything starting with "partially hydrogenated" - this is a short-term experiment so the debate about the health of other fats can wait) are good and necessary for proper brain development. Plan meals and snacks with these things in mind. You don't have to avoid grains and sugars entirely, just moderate them and don't use them as the base of any given meal or snack. See if it makes a difference.

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I agree. With your example, it's not like they are sneaking oreos and candy - they are sneaking what I would consider to be healthy snacks.

 

I don't put food off limits unless it's certain things for meals. The kids know they can eat fruit, crackers, pb, milk, popcorn unless it's an hour before a meal. Why limit?

:iagree:

 

and how do you know they're not hungry if they are sneaking healthy food?

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You've gotten some good advice and I'm glad to see some have finally asked if the oatmeal was instant or not. I'm still wondering how many apples were in the bag and if they were really eaten in one sitting.

 

This won't directly solve the problem, but does your local grocery store or community center have low-cost or free nutrition courses? Or a parent information center? You might benefit from some help in balancing the meals so they are able to get further along in the day on what you feed them.

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I'll also add my name to the list of parents that found out the hard way that high carb breakfasts lead to lots of hunger and bad behavior. I would, at miniumum, rearrange their food so the Pop Tarts are dessert after supper. Chicken soup could be for breakfast.

 

I think you'll have better results with a low carb, high protein breakfast. If you can only afford meat once a day, serve it at breakfast and see if that works. If Make some big omlettes with lots of vegetables and have them with breakfast or lunch.

 

My own experimenting with my son has shown me that he needs his lunch two hours after his breakfast. (Someone here suggested that a few weeks ago.) If his lunch is later than that, he is hungry and miserable all day, even though his total food intake will be higher! Eating an earlier lunch keeps him fuller and lowers how much he eats.

 

In the spring, he went through a huge growth spurt. For two months, he ate 7 full meals per day! Then it stopped. I spent a lot of time cooking for him, but i made sure to keep him fed.

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When my girls are going through growth spurts, they eat a shocking amount of food. Seriously shocking. They can eat more than my dh. :tongue_smilie: If this is a temporary problem your girls are having, it could be a growth spurt. My kids don't sneak food though, so I don't really know what to make of that behavior. Mine just beg for food. ;)

 

My kids don't like it, but I often stir some coconut oil into their oatmeal. I also insist that oatmeal have nuts and fruit added to it, *every time*. Oatmeal makes me hungrier, even if I have an egg on the side. Everyone is different though, because my girls do fine with oatmeal as long as it has all of the added stuff.

 

I've noticed that any sweet leaves my 8 year old hungry. If she eats a big dinner, and then has ice cream, she'll ask for a snack before bed. When we have fruit for dessert, she never asks for a bedtime snack. Even if her dinner was just salmon, rice, salad and fruit, she is good until morning. For that reason, I would expect a pop tart with breakfast to leave her super hungry.

 

It can't hurt to talk to your pediatrician, but I wouldn't necessarily assume something is wrong with your kids. Maybe they just need to change what they are eating for meals and snacks. Hearing dietary advice from my pediatrician has an impact on my kids. It isn't just Mom saying eat "abc" and not "xyz". The doctor is saying it too.

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When my girls are going through growth spurts, they eat a shocking amount of food. Seriously shocking. They can eat more than my dh. :tongue_smilie: If this is a temporary problem your girls are having, it could be a growth spurt. My kids don't sneak food though, so I don't really know what to make of that behavior. Mine just beg for food. ;)

 

:iagree: I can always tell when my dd is growing because she eats like a pig. I have to feed her all day long. Then, one day, she'll just stop and eats like a bird until the next growth spurt.

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There are two explanations that I'm familiar with: 1) they are not getting enough food and so when it's available, they pack it in. (This happens to adults, too, if hunger builds up, usually from "dieting"--suddenly, the urge to eat gets very intense and feels overwhelming, like one must eat or die.)

2) in my work in children's mental health, food also was very commonly a metaphor for love/nurturing. Parents complaining of kids "stealing" food was a red flag to a certain cluster of issues.

 

Since this happened since you moved:

 

1) If your food budget went down, this could be the answer: your kids are hungry and need more food, probably spread out across the day so that their blood sugar stays level.

 

2) It could also be the case that something in the move tipped the balance in their sense of security.

 

Either way, it's highly unlikely to be a behavioral/discipline issue for the children (eating a whole bag of apples would hurt); something else is at play. Find out what that something else is and address it and the food hoarding/gorging will stop.

 

I would very strongly encourage you not to use words like sneaking, stealing, etc. around this issue. They will be damaging and hold back progress on the issue---even if you are only using them in your own mind. I'd say there's over a 90% chance that they actually need something they aren't getting.

 

And "defiant". :iagree:

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You have got so much good advice.

 

One thing that jumped out at me was the 9:30 breakfast time. Depending upon when you had dinner, the time between meals could be really long. I've found that when your stomach has been really empty, it is easy to still feel hungry after you've eaten. Would an earlier breakfast or bedtime snack (like warm milk) be a help?

 

I am wondering if there is a particular time of day that the extra snacking has been going on.

 

This is probably fantasy, given your kids ages, but is there anyone else they could be getting the food for? I've probably read too many kids books about runaway orphans, lol....

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I called the ped and we have an appointment on Monday. At last weight checks they weighed fine on the charts for age/height/etc. That was in May.

 

We all 3 put snacks in the drawer and Im going to try it, it cant hurt to try. I will also talk to DH tonight when he gets home and see what he thinks.

 

to clarify the apples- I got them yesterday from the pantry, it was a kroger bag full and they took quite a few bites out of every apple (id say 1/2 the apples worth). They both did eat 2 whole bowls of soup at lunch and then we made popcorn for snack and they ate 2 bowls of that. Dinner will be chicken, mac n cheese (the Annies kind), and corn on the cob....and if i had to guess C will eat all and L wont eat the mac n cheese.

 

ETA: as for the time frame between dinner and breakfast- we eat dinner about 6ish and breakfast at 9ish. I will also try a bedtime snack too ;)

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I called the ped and we have an appointment on Monday. At last weight checks they weighed fine on the charts for age/height/etc. That was in May.

 

We all 3 put snacks in the drawer and Im going to try it, it cant hurt to try. I will also talk to DH tonight when he gets home and see what he thinks.

 

to clarify the apples- I got them yesterday from the pantry, it was a kroger bag full and they took quite a few bites out of every apple (id say 1/2 the apples worth). They both did eat 2 whole bowls of soup at lunch and then we made popcorn for snack and they ate 2 bowls of that. Dinner will be chicken, mac n cheese (the Annies kind), and corn on the cob....and if i had to guess C will eat all and L wont eat the mac n cheese.

 

ETA: as for the time frame between dinner and breakfast- we eat dinner about 6ish and breakfast at 9ish. I will also try a bedtime snack too ;)

 

Glad you are seeing a pediatrician.

 

Not to pick on poptarts, but sliced apples with cheese would be a yummy alternative along with oatmeal. :D

 

I already mentioned it, but sometimes community centers, grocery stores (not just food co-ops, but regular stores), parent info centers, or maybe even a local health dept. can offer some help with learning to balance snacks and meals. And this is not from a position of judgment, but from someone who needed a lot of help nutritionally in the past. Especially with minor blood sugar/metabolism issues, I needed some guidance and it helped a lot.

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Why not make all healthy snacks available all the time? I've never heard of anyone restricting access to apples.

 

I've done it before, because one of my child will eat 4 apples for hunger (or for boredom), instead of protein that is more filling, and that also means we run through apples too quickly. Fruit is expensive, especially 4 at a time to fill up a child as much as a good chunk of protein would. Not to mention that we live 10 miles from a grocery store, and it's not as simple as "just go get more," and it's also not cool for one child to eat all the apples and leave none for anyone else for the rest of the week. When told that fruit is limited, this child will choose protein happily. So in theory, no, I wouldn't restrict access to nutritious food, but otoh, it's not a complete free-for-all, either.

 

For the OP, I'd try more fat and protein, but also a journal, to see what and when they are eating. if they're eating out of boredom, for instance, look for ways to address that. If it's just being sneaky because they can, maybe they need to start accompanying you everywhere. (Yes, even the bathroom; have them turn their backs.) If my children aren't behaving properly on their own, then it means they need more supervision, and since I have a lot of stuff that is not optional for me to do, they stay near me for a while.

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About apples... My son gets an apple, eats less than half, is "done" with it, throws it out, gets another apple, and eats the whole bag in a couple of days.

 

Yep, my son does the same thing...

 

And it reminds me of Ramona (from Ramona and Beezus)... its been quite a few years since I read that book, but wasn't she guilty of taking bites of apples (because the first bite is always the best) from an entire bushel of apples?

 

Anyways - to get back on topic - good luck at the ped app't on Monday, OP!

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I made my kids pancakes, eggs and sausage for lunch and was done cooking at 1 pm. I planned to start making a snack at 3. My daughter was starved and decided she had to cook noodles at 2:30.

 

It is hard not to get frustrated when it seems other people manage much less.

 

I see other kids who have schedules that eat less often and less at a time. I mean, they eat breakfast in the car and then have school lunches.

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I called the ped and we have an appointment on Monday. At last weight checks they weighed fine on the charts for age/height/etc. That was in May.

 

We all 3 put snacks in the drawer and Im going to try it, it cant hurt to try. I will also talk to DH tonight when he gets home and see what he thinks.

 

to clarify the apples- I got them yesterday from the pantry, it was a kroger bag full and they took quite a few bites out of every apple (id say 1/2 the apples worth). They both did eat 2 whole bowls of soup at lunch and then we made popcorn for snack and they ate 2 bowls of that. Dinner will be chicken, mac n cheese (the Annies kind), and corn on the cob....and if i had to guess C will eat all and L wont eat the mac n cheese.

 

ETA: as for the time frame between dinner and breakfast- we eat dinner about 6ish and breakfast at 9ish. I will also try a bedtime snack too ;)

The above makes it sound like they are just hungry. From 6p to 9a is 15 hours. That is a long time to go without food at that age. Honestly I couldn't go that long without food even if I"m sleeping 10 hours of it.

 

Also at that age to them (their perception) they ate the whole apple each time they had one.

 

I wonder if they could be gearing up for a growth spurt at the same time.

 

Perhaps over the weekend try feeding them something every couple of hours.

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I made my kids pancakes, eggs and sausage for lunch and was done cooking at 1 pm. I planned to start making a snack at 3. My daughter was starved and decided she had to cook noodles at 2:30.

 

It is hard not to get frustrated when it seems other people manage much less.

 

I see other kids who have schedules that eat less often and less at a time. I mean, they eat breakfast in the car and then have school lunches.

PS kids have snacks every time they turn around. Breakfast in the car. Lunch at 11, after school snack, after activity snack, dinner, either a bedtime snack or an after dinner activity snack.

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Lot of good ideas in this thread! I can see you are very much wanting to figure this out.

 

I'll add my quick thoughts. Can you work nutrition breaks into your day? IME, with my little kids, they really did need *something* about every 2 -2.5 hours. I don't mean mega meals. I mean a couple of apple slices slathered with peanut butter.

 

Breakfast - I agree with folks; make sure there a good amount of protein, little sugar, no HFCS (which makes me want to eat everything in sight!) If you make pancakes, use eggs, (maybe a little full fat blueberry yogurt?), a good mix or flour etc.

 

Snack 10 or 10:30 - Think high protein. Hard boiled eggs, nut butters, cheese sticks, cheese chunks with apples, carrots, bananas, etc.

 

 

Lunch - 12 or 12:30- Tuna, turkey, egg salad, dinner leftovers, or avocado and blue corn chips with melted cheese etc. If you make mac & cheese, use butter and whole milk. I've also drizzled a small amount of EVOO over Annie's Mac & Cheese. lol My nephew used to tell his mother that her Annie's wasn't as good as mine, so I let her in on my secrets.

 

Snack 3 or so-- Same deal. High protein. (I know some adults do not need as much protein as we think we do, and I would agree, but I also have experience with children who need extra attention paid to blood sugar levels.)

 

Check the ingredient lists of various foods. If there is lots of sugar, or HFCS, it could be causing them to feel hungry. This is true for many. If you have it in the budget, and don't mind a processed-type bars, Cliff bars have a decent amount of protein. If you bake, add an extra egg.

 

See if scheduled, high protein snacks prepared together makes a difference.

 

I do like the snack drawer idea. It might take them some time to get used to it (meaning they may eat it all in one sitting), but self-regulating is good.

Edited by LibraryLover
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How do you stop the kids from sneaking food when child safety locks wont work (they know how to open them) and they can climb over a baby gate (they get a kitchen chair to climb the tall baby gate)?

 

Im not talking about sneaking a cookie, im talking about entire bags of apples, gal of milk, jar of PB. Its NOT a matter of not feeding them- they are just that down right sneaky and defiant. (by the way, they DO get time outs when they do it and i DO find out because food is gone and they hide it under their beds).

 

EX: This morning i told the girls they could have an apple with lunch. I went to the bathroom and they got into the kitchen and got the entire bag of apples, went into their room and ate them ALL. I gave them a time out, explained that i told them they could have an apple with lunch and that they especially did not need to eat an entire bag. They had just had breakfast (oatmeal and poptart) at 9:30.

 

WHY are they doing this? That is the question to figure out. Something doesn't sound right. My first thought was (you don't want to hear this) tapeworm or something.

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to clarify the apples- I got them yesterday from the pantry, it was a kroger bag full and they took quite a few bites out of every apple (id say 1/2 the apples worth). They both did eat 2 whole bowls of soup at lunch and then we made popcorn for snack and they ate 2 bowls of that. Dinner will be chicken, mac n cheese (the Annies kind), and corn on the cob....and if i had to guess C will eat all and L wont eat the mac n cheese.

 

This to me isn't a food issue. They didn't eat a "bag of apples". They ruined 1/2 a bag. To me that's a behavior issue not a food issue.

 

I have an open snack house. If you are hungry - fruit and veggies are available any time. Other snack foods - crackers, granola bars, etc. you need to ask me for them but most of the time I'll say yes. I don's buy a lot of those so it's usually fruit / veg or nothing. My son is a food pit and can eat 5 apples in a day. I don't care as long as he eats his normal food and he stays active and an appropriate weight.

 

I think you are smart to get a pediatrician's opinion. You never know what might be causing it.

 

I would also schedule in more snacks. My kids eat breakfast around 8 am and then we have a snack (fruit, maybe a muffin, or cheese, etc.) around 10:30 and lunch 12-1ish. They eat something in the afternoon and then dinner at 6ish. We don't eat huge meals - but we do add in snacks so nobody is running on low blood sugar (my DD gets really sick with too low blood sugar - she's a stick figure and gets headaches and throws up).

 

Is it's any consolation - this too shall pass. In 6 months they'll dream up some new way to test you. :tongue_smilie: Hang in there!!!

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Do they like hard boiled eggs? I cook them ahead and keep them chilled in the refrigerator for easy, high protein snacks.

 

PBnJ sandwiches are easy and quick snacks.

 

We eat at 7:30, 9:30 (snack), 11:00, 2:00 (snack), 4:00 (snack) and 6:30. All meals and snacks are planned. It helps mine to know that they will be eating again in a few hours....that they can count on it. All meals and snacks include protein, carbs, and veggies.

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PS kids have snacks every time they turn around. Breakfast in the car. Lunch at 11, after school snack, after activity snack, dinner, either a bedtime snack or an after dinner activity snack.

 

 

I'd argue that HSing is much more of a snacking free-for-all. When my daughter started High School she had to adjust accordingly. She only has lunch during the school day so she's more careful about making it count than she ever was at home. While DS and I have a leisurely tea, then breakfast an hour or so later, DD MUST eat a real breakfast EARLY in the morning to hold her til lunch. Her lunch has to hold her 3-4 hours. She definitely snacked more as a homeschooler.

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16 and 13. They rarely snack. I think that eating habits are a learned behavior. My kids eat 3 really good, healthy meals a day and are satisfied. It surprises me how many people think that snacking is a necessity. To each their own, but I just wanted to throw out there that it isn't necessarily a huge "to do" if you're not plying them with snacks, if that's not the home habit.

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I completely understand, OP. I have 5 kids that can eat regular food here and what we get lasts a week, that's it. I grab a random variety of fruits and vegetables every week, most for snacking, the rest for meals. If they get eaten in 2 days, that's it. They will focus on eating meals for the rest of the week. Usually they know which food is for me to cook with and what is intended to be eaten for a snack.

 

To give you an idea of why I am this way I'll share a sample day. Typical day is eggs for breakfast and fruit if it's available. Lunch is either leftovers or whatever random thing I throw together, so let's say they ate chicken, rice and carrots for lunch. Dinner last night was spaghetti. All my children can typically eat a dozen eggs (or more), a dozen bananas (half for breakfast, half for snack), 1.5-2lbs of chicken, 2 cups uncooked rice, 2lbs baby carrots (half for lunch, half for snack), 1.5-2lbs hamburger, 2 packages gluten free spaghetti noodles and two jars of spaghetti sauce. I also cook up butternut squash to add to the spaghetti as well. Remember, this only feeds the children, not the adults. :tongue_smilie:

 

There is no way with the amount of food they eat that I can randomly drive 15minutes back to the store, buy MORE fruits and vegetables for snacks (gluten free, legume free, minimal dairy here) without severely decreasing the quality of meals they are fed. My kids understand thankfully. I don't stress about them missing snacks a few days a week. It won't harm them. Snacks aren't a requirement, 3 meals a day (for the typical family) are required. They eat healthy 90% of the time. So the bag of apples I bought for my kids yesterday, if they eat them all, we adjust the menu. Maybe instead of apples included with lunch, I up the amount of rice instead. It's hard being on a budget. I don't think your kids need a doctor honestly. My kids will grab a 2lb bag of baby carrots to snack on while playing and bring me the bag back an hour later. I don't sweat about it and I've never considered taking them to the doctor because they like to eat. :confused:

 

Looking at your list, a gallon of milk, yea, I can see my 3 year old (who can have unlimited dairy) drinking it all in one day (yes one child, one gallon). A jar of sunbutter here is liquid gold and would be eaten immediately, so it's regulated to a snack, not to a meal. And a bag of apples....:lol:, we bought a bag last night. I'll tell ya what's left at the end of the day. I think instead of making it a big deal, shrug your shoulders and tell them no apples until next payday. I'm sure you have some awesome meals planned out that missing out on apples for the next two weeks won't harm them in any way.

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maybe im not wording it right?

 

Im not restricting healthy things. Im not restricting unhealthy things. ETA: I had locked the stuff because it was not taking a few of something. Im not even upset it was apples, im upset it was the bag of it.

 

Thanks for the suggestions and I will certainly ask the pediatrician. They dont have any weight issues or health issues. I think I will clear out a lower cabinet for just them and tell them they can have whats in there. I can put some of those juices (where its flavored water), granola bars, snack mixes, homemade popcorn, etc. Its worth trying.

 

I would think if they could eat an entire bag of apples, then they were hungry.

 

Actually oatmeal is a pretty good source of protein. But I would cut the sugar (pop tart) which tends to encourage craving. And maybe add eggs, yogurt, or cheese.

 

Also, what kind of oatmeal? Sugary instant oatmeal or steel-cut oats? The latter is more nutrient dense. I would get rid of things like pop tarts, if you are on a budget. Eggs and a little cheese would be far more filling, would hold them over better and would be cheaper. Cut up one apple and put it in their oatmeal. At lunch cut another apple into slices and serve it with peanut butter. This would cut back on the simple sugars that only make you feel full for a little while, but would use the same number of apples.

 

Can you qualify for food stamps? I know some people are resistant to help, but if your budget is squeezed to the point that your kids aren't getting enough food, then it would be worth it.

 

 

Here's what I'd try. Take the kids with you when you shop and show them that you are buying 2 weeks' worth of xyz. Bring it home and put it where they can get at it, but remind them that's all there will be for the next 2 weeks. Then let them have it when they are home, with the exception of certain times (e.g., shortly before a meal or bedtime). Don't reserve fruits for meals, but do serve them at lunch/dinner if they aren't eaten as snacks earlier in the day.

 

I agree with talking to them about the budget and how far the food is expected to go in a given week. You might even make a menu with their help and actually list: breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner.

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16 and 13. They rarely snack. I think that eating habits are a learned behavior. My kids eat 3 really good, healthy meals a day and are satisfied. It surprises me how many people think that snacking is a necessity. To each their own, but I just wanted to throw out there that it isn't necessarily a huge "to do" if you're not plying them with snacks, if that's not the home habit.

 

I have underweight kids with high metabolisms. They need snacks.

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Why not make all healthy snacks available all the time? I've never heard of anyone restricting access to apples.

 

My mother, the master of a budget, healthy cooking, and managing a home full of children from 1939-1976 has very, very strict rules about food. We ate at the table and meals were served on "the dot". If we were an hour before meals we had to ask permission (to not "spoil" our hunger). Other that that there was always a bushel full of apples, oranges or grapefruits, and we could eat as many as we liked. I could polish off 6 apples easily. My record was 13 grapefruits in one setting.

 

Her other rules were that there were only enough seconds for the first 2 finishers, and no dessert if the plate wasn't clean (it always was) and that dessert was almost always protein (custard) rather than bready (cake).

 

My sister and I are now chubby, but the boys are tall and lean. I think it is more genes than upbringing, as we have round women (after babies ... I wasn't round until I was in my 40s) and lean men on both sides of the family.

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I have underweight kids with high metabolisms. They need snacks.

 

My boy can eat until he looks pregnant and then be pulling at my sleeve 2 hours later. Every toast is slathered in butter. I use full-fat everything for him. His father pours nuts down him. He is 85th %ile in height and 40th%ile in weight. I BELIEVE him when he says he is hungry, and that when he is late on food he gets a headache. I did, too, as a child.

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I don't know about that. I'm not much of a snacker. I'd rather have good meals. And that's what I provide for my kids. I have one who does not snack either. Then the other is constantly asking for food (he is my super skinny kid). I have tried to change this behavior because it drives me bonkers, but I have yet to figure it out.

 

People have different metabolisms (which can change over a lifetime). Both of my kids had to have snacks when they were small because their blood sugar levels would crash, even with protein at meals, without them. It would have been wrong of me to make them suffer physically and go without snacks without adequately addressing that issue. Now my 15 year old does not snack. My 10 year old does. She has a very high metabolism and is very thin and athletic. She needs those snacks.

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My boy can eat until he looks pregnant and then be pulling at my sleeve 2 hours later. Every toast is slathered in butter. I use full-fat everything for him. His father pours nuts down him. He is 85th %ile in height and 40th%ile in weight. I BELIEVE him when he says he is hungry, and that when he is late on food he gets a headache. I did, too, as a child.

 

My eldest dd gets headaches if she waits too long to eat.

 

This morning I made steel-cut oats with milk. I cut up a couple of apples, put in a little butter and some slivered almonds. Eldest dd made banana bread to have for snacks later. For lunch we are having pigs in a blanket, mac-and-cheese, carrots and celery with PB, dinner will be chicken breasts, rice and salad. They generally have ready access to snacks-celery, carrots, PB sandwiches, almonds, apples, cheese, full-fat yogurt, things like that.

 

I don't know how kids make it through the school day either.

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I am merely suggesting that the op doesn't need to feel horrible if she doesn't feed snacks. I do not believe that everyone needs snacks, in fact, sometimes I think they are overdone! (can you go to a children's event like sports, and not be given a juice box and some sort of snack?)

 

Just broaching a different thought...

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I am merely suggesting that the op doesn't need to feel horrible if she doesn't feed snacks. I do not believe that everyone needs snacks, in fact, sometimes I think they are overdone! (can you go to a children's event like sports, and not be given a juice box and some sort of snack?)

 

Just broaching a different thought...

 

I was responding to this

 

16 and 13. They rarely snack. I think that eating habits are a learned behavior. My kids eat 3 really good, healthy meals a day and are satisfied. It surprises me how many people think that snacking is a necessity. To each their own, but I just wanted to throw out there that it isn't necessarily a huge "to do" if you're not plying them with snacks, if that's not the home habit.

 

You made a general statement-snacks are a learned behavior and kids don't need them. Nowhere did I say that all kids need snacks. However, it sounds to me like the OP's kids *are* hungry. They aren't stealing candy, she is complaining about them eating healthy food. I think it is possible she is underestimating their caloric needs.. Heading kids off the pass with a snack that includes protein and fat could stop the sort of gorging that she is describing, IMO. I think speaking with her pediatrician and getting a referral for a nutritionist is a good idea. None of us are in her home to know what is going on, but they sound hungry to me.

 

It also isn't shameful for her to seek help like foodstamps, if her kids are going hungry. Nobody should feel horrible for that.

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Didn't through most of the thread so I may be repeating what has already been stated.

 

The issue seems to be a power struggle over food.

 

I would put out a basket of "help yourself" snacks - healthy things that they are free to eat at any time so they can learn to pay attention to their own hunger cues. You can also make shelf of the fridge designated for this type of snacks.

 

In my experience - both professional and personal - getting into power struggles over food is really counterproductive in the short- and long-run.

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I was responding to this

 

 

 

You made a general statement-snacks are a learned behavior and kids don't need them. Nowhere did I say that all kids need snacks. However, it sounds to me like the OP's kids *are* hungry. They aren't stealing candy, she is complaining about them eating healthy food. I think it is possible she is underestimating their caloric needs.. Heading kids off the pass with a snack that includes protein and fat could stop the sort of gorging that she is describing, IMO. I think speaking with her pediatrician and getting a referral for a nutritionist is a good idea. None of us are in her home to know what is going on, but they sound hungry to me.

 

It also isn't shameful for her to seek help like foodstamps, if her kids are going hungry. Nobody should feel horrible for that.

 

Its shameful i dont QUALIFY for foodstamps because my husband makes too much. I was on foodstamps. $668 for a family of 4 (they dont count N) and I was shut off in Feb of 2011 because my husband makes too much.

 

I can get WIC until next month. L turns 5 Dec 22 so there wouldnt be much point in signing up.

 

There is a food pantry, 1 and i go to it EVERY month.

 

We have a strict food budget and we go every 2 weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

No food issues today. They had Cheerios for breakfast, Lunch was a chicken sandwich w/strawberries and chips. Im not sure what dinner is yet. Snacks have been granola bar and popcorn.

Edited by Jpoy85
i cant spell, lol
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I'm going to mention that I wouldn't care that much about them taking an apple. For that matter, if they were hungry enough to actually eat to the core every apple in the bag, I wouldn't care they did that either.

 

To me, this stops being about genuine hunger when they are WASTING an entire bag by only eating 1/2 or less of all the apples in it. That would really tick me off too!

 

I'd pull them aside and tell them that if they are hungry, they are welcome to have an apple. But they must eat it at the kitchen table and finish it. For young children, they can tend to get distracted from their food and not finish it. Eating at the table reduces distraction and waste and it also means they usually eat better at each sitting. If they don't finish the apple, that's fine. Leave it at the table. And if they get hungry again soon, they can come back to finish it. But they won't get another until that one is finished.

 

Of course, having a tight budget means you just can't afford waste. It really doesn't matter what anyone else would do as far as having an open access pantry or whether your kids are having a growth spurt or power tripping or whatever. The food limit is just the way it is.

 

I'd avoid the power struggle entirely. It isn't about you keeping them from eating. It's about everyone having more food because it isn't wasted.

 

I'm not sure why everyone is focusing on the fact that the food taken is healthy. The tighter our budget, the less junk I have. If my budget is really tight, a bag of apples or a box of granola might be the only "junk" food in the house. Tho the OP mentioned poptarts... Idk. Poptarts are cheaper than apples, so I can understand the temptation.

 

Oh and I agree about the instant oatmeal. It isn't filling at all! My kids have to have 4-6 packets to feel like they got one decent bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. But if I use regular oats on the stove, they can barely finish a big bowl.

 

Oh. I think I see. OP is having to use a food pantry.:grouphug: I bet that is where the poptarts and instant oatmeal come from. It is so frustrating bc it's free, which is so very helpful, but the food given often leaves them feeling much hungrier than what they could have bought for less than the cost of the donated items.:grouphug:

 

OP - Sorry you are having such a very rough time.:grouphug:

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To me, this stops being about genuine hunger when they are WASTING an entire bag by only eating 1/2 or less of all the apples in it. That would really tick me off too!

 

I'd pull them aside and tell them that if they are hungry, they are welcome to have an apple. But they must eat it at the kitchen table and finish it. For young children, they can tend to get distracted from their food and not finish it. Eating at the table reduces distraction and waste and it also means they usually eat better at each sitting. If they don't finish the apple, that's fine. Leave it at the table. And if they get hungry again soon, they can come back to finish it. But they won't get another until that one is finished.

 

I agree with all of this. I actually slice them up (I don't peel them) and give a spoonful of peanut butter with them. That helps fill the kids up and slicing them helps make sure they eat it all.

 

Oh and I agree about the instant oatmeal. It isn't filling at all! My kids have to have 4-6 packets to feel like they got one decent bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. But if I use regular oats on the stove, they can barely finish a big bowl.

 

Oh. I think I see. OP is having to use a food pantry.:grouphug: I bet that is where the poptarts and instant oatmeal come from. It is so frustrating bc it's free, which is so very helpful, but the food given often leaves them feeling much hungrier than what they could have bought for less than the cost of the donated items.:grouphug:

 

If it is about budget, then that may be a place where people here can help. If the OP has Aldi's or a Dollar General, that might help. Shopping sales can help. Using frugal shopping lists and menus like the ones on Hillbilly Housewife can help.

 

Do you only have parttime custody of N, is that why she isn't counted? You might periodically check on whether you qualify for foodstamps, guidelines change at least once a year.

 

Pre-screening tool:

http://www.snap-step1.usda.gov/fns/index.jsp

 

There are also programs to help make your home more energy efficient and lower your energy bills. a family of four qualifies if the earn below $46K/year. You can get help with your heating bills if your family of four makes up to $44k/year. Have you looked into anything like that? Anywhere you could cut the budget in other areas might help. http://www.benefits.gov/

Edited by Mrs Mungo
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