A Moral Question...

[Hunter's Moon]

All hotels that my fiance and I have looked at have a minimum check-in age of 21. My fiance is 20 and I will be 19. His mother will check in for us and then give us the key.

 

I feel bad about this and like we'll get caught. There are no other options other than a motel maybe and that isn't happening.

 

We won't be ordering any alcohol.

 

Would you feel okay in this situation? I sometimes have an amplified sense of guilt, so....

[mom2scouts]

It seems a little silly to me that an engaged adult couple can't check into a hotel!

[Hunter's Moon]

It seems a little silly to me that an engaged adult couple can't check into a hotel!

 

Actually, we'll be married! I called and explained the situation to them and they still said no.

[justLisa]

I am not of the highest moral but I wouldn't have the slightest problem with it.

[Jpoy85]

I dont see an issue with it.

[elegantlion]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. The restriction may be due to the ability to order alcohol and to keep teens from partying in the rooms. His mother is checking you in, she is accepting the responsibility for you both and the room.

 

Go, be blessed, and more congratulations.

 

I understand your hesitation, I'm a pretty by the book person myself.

[BrookValley.]

I'm all for following the rules. I understand why hotels have this policy, and I understand that they don't want to make exceptions. But seriously...a married adult couple should be able to check into a hotel room. Are there any other hotel options? Maybe a B&B (a privately-owned business might be more likely to make exceptions on a case-by-case basis)? I mean seriously, are 20-year olds not allowed to travel? :confused:

 

I assume this will be for your honeymoon? When calling places, I would start right out with "my husband and I need accomodations for our honeymoon on such-and-such dates..." and go from there.

 

And, maybe I'm going to hell for this but yeah, if all else fails, have a relative check you in. I'm assuming you are both responsible adults who are not going to cause a ruckus or do anything wrong--no one will bother you.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think if you're old enough to drive, vote and fight in a war, you should be old enough to rent a hotel room. It's silly that a married couple can't rent a room. Don't worry about it.

[Mom-ninja.]

I think if you're old enough to drive, vote and fight in a war, you should be old enough to rent a hotel room. It's silly that a married couple can't rent a room. Don't worry about it.

 

My mom says this. It drives her batty that a person is old enough to go to war and possibly die for one's country and yet not allowed to drink alcohol, rent a hotel room, or rent a car.

 

She has a point.

 

My dh had to rent a car for his sister and her new husband when they wanted to go on their honeymoon. You have to be 25 to rent a car.

 

I'd find a different place, honestly. If a hotel won't look at a case by case situation, they would not get my money.

 

I'd call B&Bs in the area.

[Mergath]

Well, technically you won't be breaking any rules. The rules say you have to be 21 to check in. The person checking in will be 21. There's no rule that says all people who stay in the room have to be 21 too, so I think you're good.

[Hunter's Moon]

My mom says this. It drives her batty that a person is old enough to go to war and possibly die for one's country and yet not allowed to drink alcohol, rent a hotel room, or rent a car.

 

She has a point.

 

My dh had to rent a car for his sister and her new husband when they wanted to go on their honeymoon. You have to be 25 to rent a car.

 

I'd find a different place, honestly. If a hotel won't look at a case by case situation, they would not get my money.

 

I'd call B&Bs in the area.

 

My issue is, I have food allergies so must have a way to store and prepare food. This hotel has a full fridge, microwave, toaster oven, and stove top in each suite. I'd be willing to do one with just a micro fridge and microwave, but this is the only one I've found that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Edited September 20, 2012 by BeatleMania

[justasque]

I've dealt with this before, for my kids. One hotel just asked that we pay in advance; the other didn't need anything special. I think it may also have helped each time that I called rather than my teen, and that I explained what the teens would be doing while visiting the city. It also helped to ask to speak to the manager, rather than whoever answered the phone. If the hotel won't cooperate, then I would seriously consider whether there are other options. You don't want to feel like you're being sneaky on your honeymoon. If this hotel is the only option, and your mom has booked the room for you, you might want to have her call and be sure that it will go smoothly - that is, will they need to see the credit card, etc. etc. It could be just that there is a misunderstanding - that they are fine with you being there, they just want your mom to take responsibility.

[Candid]

So how do you know about these rules anyway? Are you going out of your way to find them? If so, I'd stop doing that. With a rental car, I think they'll ask but with a hotel I doubt they will unless you put it in there face.

[cindergretta]

Well, technically you won't be breaking any rules. The rules say you have to be 21 to check in. The person checking in will be 21. There's no rule that says all people who stay in the room have to be 21 too, so I think you're good.

 

Yup! Sheesh, what an odd predicament that shouldn't even exist. My sister and her dh were 19 on their wedding night and they had no issues checking into their honeymoon suite. (That was 21 years ago...)

 

We checked our family into two suites last December (emergency disaster, lol) and the staff knew dh and I would be in one suite with our 3 youngest while our older 3 would be in the other one. No one batted an eye.

[Hunter's Moon]

So how do you know about these rules anyway? Are you going out of your way to find them? If so, I'd stop doing that. With a rental car, I think they'll ask but with a hotel I doubt they will unless you put it in there face.

 

Their website has the policy right next to the check in/out times.

[justasque]

Their website has the policy right next to the check in/out times.

 

What exactly does it say?

[Kari C in SC]

Yup! Sheesh, what an odd predicament that shouldn't even exist. My sister and her dh were 19 on their wedding night and they had no issues checking into their honeymoon suite. (That was 21 years ago...)

 

We checked our family into two suites last December (emergency disaster, lol) and the staff knew dh and I would be in one suite with our 3 youngest while our older 3 would be in the other one. No one batted an eye.

 

I was 18 on my wedding night and my dh was 19... it never even occurred to me that would might not be able to rent a room. My ds rented hotel rooms before he was 21... he did a few road trips with fellow soldiers, etc. I would not give it another thought... let her check in and enjoy your honeymoon!

[Hunter's Moon]

What exactly does it say?

 

Minimum check-in age: 21

[kiana]

I wouldn't have the slightest twinge of conscience about that.

[justasque]

Minimum check-in age: 21

 

Have you thought this through in terms of checking in? Will your mom go with you and do the check-in? If she does, you should be just fine. If not, then you may encounter problems if they need ID, etc.

[Hunter's Moon]

Have you thought this through in terms of checking in? Will your mom go with you and do the check-in? If she does, you should be just fine. If not, then you may encounter problems if they need ID, etc.

 

His mother will go down before we do, leave the hotel, and bring us the key. When we are ready to go down there, we'll just walk in and up to the room with the key she gave us earlier.

[Susan C.]

I'm assuming his mother is paying (or you are giving her the money). She can go to the hotel, tell them she is paying for a room to put company up in (or providing it as a gift), pay, and get the key. She will probably have to give her credit card # (usually required so hotel can bill damages). She can give your license plate number (you are required to provide that). And, she can handle getting the final statement (email or mail). I have never been to a hotel where they didn't swipe a credit card, so if you or your fiance don't have a credit card, then you need her to do it for you.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with it if no other options are available. The hotel just doesn't want a large teen party there, and you are not doing that.

[Hunter's Moon]

I'm assuming his mother is paying (or you are giving her the money). She can go to the hotel, tell them she is paying for a room to put company up in (or providing it as a gift), pay, and get the key. She will probably have to give her credit card # (usually required so hotel can bill damages). She can give your license plate number (you are required to provide that). And, she can handle getting the final statement (email or mail). I have never been to a hotel where they didn't swipe a credit card, so if you or your fiance don't have a credit card, then you need her to do it for you.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with it if no other options are available. The hotel just doesn't want a large teen party there, and you are not doing that.

 

She will use her credit card to pay because she has a special rewards card with them already. We'll be dropped off so we won't have a car sitting there.

[Kathryn]

I'm assuming his mother is paying (or you are giving her the money). She can go to the hotel, tell them she is paying for a room to put company up in (or providing it as a gift), pay, and get the key. She will probably have to give her credit card # (usually required so hotel can bill damages). She can give your license plate number (you are required to provide that). And, she can handle getting the final statement (email or mail). I have never been to a hotel where they didn't swipe a credit card, so if you or your fiance don't have a credit card, then you need her to do it for you.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with it if no other options are available. The hotel just doesn't want a large teen party there, and you are not doing that.

 

:iagree: I'd have no problem with it.

[milovany]

I would kinda think the assumption is that 21 year olds would not be married. I wonder if you called the hotel and asked personally, "Hey, I see your minimum age for check in is 21 -- does that include married couples? We'll have just gotten married and this will be on our honeymoon. Can I bring paperwork to show that? Would that be okay?" I have a feeling that might be doable for them.

[justamouse]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. The restriction may be due to the ability to order alcohol and to keep teens from partying in the rooms. His mother is checking you in, she is accepting the responsibility for you both and the room.

 

Go, be blessed, and more congratulations.

 

I understand your hesitation, I'm a pretty by the book person myself.

 

:iagree:

 

At your age, I would have been wigged by that, too.

[MeaganS]

I wouldn't have any problem.

 

This reminds me of my honeymoon. I was 20, hubby was 21. We went on a cruise, but he had to be my "guardian" because I was under 21. We both thought it was funny and weird.

 

We also had this problem with rental cars. Most wouldn't let us rent cars until we were 25. We got around this a few times in emergency situations by renting UHauls instead. They let you at 18. We thought it was weird that we could drive a huge truck and not a car, but we did what we had to do. We were excited when my dh turned 25 so we didn't have to worry about this any more.

[TranquilMind]

Actually, we'll be married! I called and explained the situation to them and they still said no.

 

Oh for goodness sakes. Even the ridiculous FAFSA rules pretending that an adult is a dependent until he/she is 26 is waived in the case of marriage. And you can serve our country.

 

I'd rent the hotel room for my married daughter, but I'd probably blog or tweet about the ridiculousness about it all over the net - after the fact.

[TranquilMind]

She will use her credit card to pay because she has a special rewards card with them already. We'll be dropped off so we won't have a car sitting there.

 

 

 

She will actually have to check in for you. They ask for ID now, if I recall correctly.

 

Oh... bunny trail....I like your avatar and the fact that you like the Beatles even though you are young enough to be a granddaughter of one of them (wow, I feel old!).

[Mama2Many4]

You'll be married! Accept it as it is, and congratulations!

[MooCow]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. The restriction may be due to the ability to order alcohol and to keep teens from partying in the rooms. His mother is checking you in, she is accepting the responsibility for you both and the room.

 

Go, be blessed, and more congratulations.

 

I understand your hesitation, I'm a pretty by the book person myself.

:iagree:

[Myeightkiddies]

I don't see it as being a moral issue. The rules require that someone 21 and over take responsibility for the room. Your future mother-in-law is doing that by signing the documents and paying. She is taking responsibility for the room.

[Scarlett]

I don't see it as being a moral issue. The rules require that someone 21 and over take responsibility for the room. Your future mother-in-law is doing that by signing the documents and paying. She is taking responsibility for the room.

 

Yep. This.

 

This reminds me of the sign on the liquor stores in AR. "No one under age 21 may enter without parent or spouse." LOL Cracks me up every time I see it.

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

Yep. This.

 

This reminds me of the sign on the liquor stores in AR. "No one under age 21 may enter without parent or spouse." LOL Cracks me up every time I see it.

 

So do a pair of married 19yo's equal a 21yo? :lol:

[Tap]

Well, technically you won't be breaking any rules. The rules say you have to be 21 to check in. The person checking in will be 21. There's no rule that says all people who stay in the room have to be 21 too, so I think you're good.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

Your mother is checking you in, and accepting the legal responsiblity of any damage you do to the room.

[Annie G]

What a goofy rule! Dd checked into a hotel for a week in June while on a paleontology dig with a class. She was 18. You're going to be married and an adult!

[sparkygirl]

I'm another one that says do not let this upset you or bother you during your honeymoon! You are not breaking any of the hotel's rules.

 

In regards to young soldiers between 18 and 21 there are exceptions in these cases. Our marriage license my fiancé picked up which I was stationed out of the state. He called me laughing that we didn't need to worry about when he picked up the license because I was AD there was no waiting period, the license was good the day he picked it up.

[Sparkle]

That seems like a ridiculous rule given the circumstances. Go, enjoy, have a lovely honeymoon.

[TravelingChris]

It is stupid and not worth worrying about. My son stayed at a hotel when he was a minor, not even 18. We gave my second an American Express card so that she could stay in a hotel if she needed to (we have already twice in that year had to because of plane issues overnight in Chicago unexpectedly and she was traveling through Chicago again by herself on college visits).

[Hannah C.]

That seems incredibly odd to me.

 

My husband and I were both under 21 when we married, and we stayed at a nearby hotel on our wedding night. We had no issues, and we were the ones bearing all responsibility for the room.

 

I concur with other posters that the hotel is worried about under-21s not being responsible. If your mother is booking the room and paying for it, then *she* is the responsible party.

[MamaAkins]

Does the room have a mini bar or something in it? If so, that may explain the "over 21" rule.

[*********]

Well, technically you won't be breaking any rules. The rules say you have to be 21 to check in. The person checking in will be 21. There's no rule that says all people who stay in the room have to be 21 too, so I think you're good.

 

Mergath is right, I agree with her. And I'm the most rule following person you'd meet IRL, lol.

 

Does the room have a mini bar or something in it? If so, that may explain the "over 21" rule.

 

Hmm, that's a good question. That might explain it.

 

Stephanie, we encountered a similar situation on our honeymoon. Dh had to sign for the rental car we decided to get in Vegas to go see the sites. He had just turned 25 two months before we married. Since I was only 23, they wouldn't rent it to me. I remember thinking at the time how silly that was. I mean, what if we had gotten married a few months earlier? That would mean we would have NO access to a car because we flew to another state on our HONEYMOON? So silly.

 

Go, enjoy your honeymoon stay. The set up you have with your MIL checking you in sounds fantastic, really. Honestly, it'd be fun if the Hive could send you guys flowers or chocolate or something!

[J-rap]

I wouldn't have any problem doing that.

 

We've run into that a few times with our children. Once, my 17 year-old daughter needed to stay at a hotel near an airport by herself. I called the hotel manager, booked the room under both my and her name, explained our situation, and they were fine with her staying there alone after that.

 

It does seem weird that a 20 year old who is old enough to fight in a war isn't old enough to stay in a hotel by himself!

 

I do know of hotels that allow 18 as the minimum age, and privately run hotels/B&B's are more apt to allow exceptions.

[Hunter's Moon]

There is no minibar in the room, but I believe room service will bring alcohol if requested.

[In the Rain]

Don't feel bad about it. They are just trying to have an "adult" responsible for the room. It is probably a licensing or insurance issue. It sounds like you have a great plan. Enjoy your honeymoon and don't worry about it.

 

This reminds me of the sign on the liquor stores in AR. "No one under age 21 may enter without parent or spouse." LOL Cracks me up every time I see it.

 

:lol: That would be one for FB

[Shawna in Texas]

When DH and I married in 1997 (I was 20, he was 19), my mom had to check us in. I believe we stayed at a newer Hilton. DH works in hospitality and he says some places are more strict about than others. He also says that sometimes, depending on the hotel, location, and the manager, it's left up to the clerk's discretion.

[MommaOfalotta]

Hmm.. have you checked around? My husband booked our hotel for our wedding night and he was twenty and I was 17.

 

Then again.. we are from a small town so maybe they just dont care:001_smile:

[LaxMom]

I wouldn't have the slightest twinge of conscience about that.

 

I wouldn't either. They have a "responsible adult" checking in, which is what they want.

 

I can't say that I've ever run into this, even booking online recently. Are you staying somewhere that's popular for, say, spring break?

[IsabelC]

Nope, wouldn't feel guilty about this. You already did the right thing by explaining your situation, so it's not as if you're setting out to be somehow dishonest here. Your MIL will be checking you in, so she's the person over 21 responsible for the room, so there's no problem.

[MommaOfalotta]

Guess I should add... I wouldn't feel bad about it!

 

Enjoy your honeymoon!