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Ds has severe allergies - dd really, really, really wants a dog


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Ds has severe dog allergies (not just a runny, itchy nose, but to the point that he sometimes needs a breathing treatment after exposure). Dd's first love is dogs. She has all the dog books, knows most breeds by heart, reads "Dog Fancy" magazine every month, etc. We've read to dogs at the library, gone to dog agility trials, and she visits my sister's dogs.

 

Tonight dd and I went to watch dog auditions for an upcoming play at our local college. There were chihuahuas, shih-tzus, corgis, schnauzers, German shepherds, and even a great Dane. She had a great time and on the way home, she talked about how we could get a dog and keep it outside. That we can build a garage and put a shower in it, so she can clean off before coming back in the house, etc. Then later I heard her crying in her bed because she just wants a dog so badly.

 

Any suggestions from the hive? We live on almost an acre of land, but most of it is wooded and none of it is fenced. We don't have a garage and don't have the $ right now to add one on. We do have a walk-out basement. Would it be practical to have a dog in the basement? Is the dander going to spread through the house? Would a dog get enough attention if it isn't allowed in the house? We had dogs when I was a child, and they always lived outside. They only came in the house in cases of extreme weather. But we lived in the country and our nearest neighbor was my grandmother.

 

Any advice would be very much appreciated. It breaks my heart to hear her cry - she wants a dog to love so much!

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Has he been tested? Is he actually allergic to dogs? We have allergies and have recently found out my dd is allergic to dogs, but we've had dogs forever. The dogs get weekly baths and never, ever go upstairs which is where the bedrooms are. We can't have cats because they give my dd hives, and I'm sure her allergies would be better overall without the dogs, but we're keeping them. Maybe borrow a dog from a friend for a day to two to see how his allergies react. If they get worse, I'd think your dd will have to wait. The cat lovers in our family have to wait until they leave home to get a cat. It is just the way things are. The health of the people is more important.

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My youngest has dog allergies as well. Any exposure leads to the need for breathing treatments. We got a dog and tried keeping her on our screened in porch but she was still too close. She lives in our fenced yard now. As long as ds doesn't saliva on himself or spend too much time near her he's fine. No way we could have her closer than that.

 

We got the dog for the benefit of the other boys who really wanted one, so I know how hard it is to see your daughter cry over it. We did get a cat so our son could enjoy a pet, too.

 

Hope you can work something out!

 

Cindy

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Dogs, cats, gerbils... all can trigger a trip to the hospital. So, we just say no. DD understands that keeping her brother alive is more important than having a pet. I have instilled that lessons slowly and gently over time because it's the reality of our life. We just can't allow some things in this house. Sometimes she doesn't like it, but that's the way it is. I try to redirect DD's interests in other areas.

 

Grandma has tried keeping animals at her house for DD and it never works out. Right now there is a barn cat on the property but it isn't allowed to come near the kids (contamination). They have rabbits at grandmas but touching those is now causing DS problems. So the bunnies are now "look but don't touch" for the most part.

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First, I would get your ds tested to be sure he is allergic to dogs. There is a blood test that can be done. If he passes that - try a brief visit with a friend who has a dog, and build from there before committing to your own dog.

 

If ds is allergic to dogs, I think even having an outdoor dog would be too risky. If your dd is really a big dog lover, she is going to give ANY dog you own all kinds of hugs and love etc. The allergens from the dog will get on her and then into your house.

 

Maybe she could volunteer and a shelter and get some puppy love that way? She could always change clothes and shower upon returning home. Just a thought!

 

It is a tough situation to be in. :grouphug:

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I'm the allergic one in our house. We now have Standard Poodles and I'm fine with them. I did not want ds to have to give up a dog once we got one, so I spent lots of time visiting home breeders (all of them were poodle only). I snuggled and loved on their dogs and puppies (the ones old enough to handle) and never reacted, so we eventually brought one home. He's nine years old now and I'm still fine. Just keep in mind that one ten minute visit isn't enough and it does no good to visit a place with other breeds or cats. Good Luck!

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We have the same situation.

 

Visit rescues that specialize in less allergic breeds (there's no such thing as a completely hypoallergenic dog) . we have a bichon/poodle mix.

 

Look for volunteer opportunities for your dd. your ds can't do this,but he's old enough to stay home while you go with dd--she's too young to volunteer without you. SPCA, rescues. Look at smaller rescue groups, these are run out private homes and they often need someone to help with walking, general care and companionship. Help your dd start a pet care business--you will have to help.

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I'm the allergic one in our house. We now have Standard Poodles and I'm fine with them. I did not want ds to have to give up a dog once we got one, so I spent lots of time visiting home breeders (all of them were poodle only). I snuggled and loved on their dogs and puppies (the ones old enough to handle) and never reacted, so we eventually brought one home. He's nine years old now and I'm still fine. Just keep in mind that one ten minute visit isn't enough and it does no good to visit a place with other breeds or cats. Good Luck!

 

We had a standard poodle for years, and we also went with that breed because of allergies. He was a great dog and never bothered our allergies.

 

Is your son allergic to the dander or something else? If it is the dander, poodles and a few other breeds are great choices because they have hair instead of fur and produce no dander.

 

Otherwise, I agree about maybe allowing her to volunteer at a shelter. She may get great satisfaction and enjoyment from it, or she may realize that she really doesn;t want to keep and care for a dog full time for many years to come.

 

:) Beachy

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Perhaps you could try exposing him to low allergen dogs and find one that doesn't cause him problems. Here's a list (poodle is one of them).

 

:iagree:

 

This is what I'd try, except contrary to that article I'd avoid any poodle cross that isn't a cross with another low-allergen breed.

 

In addition to looking for a low-allergen breed/mix, I would be prepared to bathe the dog frequently, as often as a couple times a week. It's an old wives' tale that dogs shouldn't be bathed too often. As long as you use a good quality shampoo and lukewarm water it won't hurt a dog anymore than daily showering hurts us. It'll wash off dander and any pollens that might cling to the dog's coat. Smaller dogs are easy and quick to bathe. I have a Shih Tzu, and I can bathe, blow dry him and clean up the tub in about thirty minutes. There are allergen/dander-removing sprays you could use between (or in addition to) baths. You'd also need to keep the dog out of the allergic child's room.

 

I'd consider looking for a rescue dog and seeing if the rescue would allow you to visit with the dog extensively. And if that works out you could likely arrange for a trial adoption to make sure. In lieu of that, you might be able to find a breeder who'd be willing to allow your family to spend time with her breeding dogs before committing to a puppy.

 

JMHO, but I wouldn't recommend keeping a dog outside. People do it with all the good intentions in the world, but IMO unless you're a family that spends large amounts of time outside in all sorts of weather (like a farming family) then it's cruel. The dog simply cannot get the attention it needs and deserves, and it's very stressful for dogs to be kept separate from their family so much.

 

One other thing to keep in mind is that most of the low-allergen dogs need frequent clipping. They have hair instead of fur, and that hair will keep growing forever. Regular professional grooming can be spendy, but it's pretty easy to do it yourself if you're not too picky. I groom my Shih Tzu, and while neither of us will ever win any awards, it keeps him neat and tidy. There's an initial investment in equipment (clippers, scissors, a forced air dryer, etc.) but given the price of professional grooming you can quickly get the money back.

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Has he been tested? Is he actually allergic to dogs? We have allergies and have recently found out my dd is allergic to dogs, but we've had dogs forever. The dogs get weekly baths and never, ever go upstairs which is where the bedrooms are. We can't have cats because they give my dd hives, and I'm sure her allergies would be better overall without the dogs, but we're keeping them. Maybe borrow a dog from a friend for a day to two to see how his allergies react. If they get worse, I'd think your dd will have to wait. The cat lovers in our family have to wait until they leave home to get a cat. It is just the way things are. The health of the people is more important.

 

He has been tested twice - once when he was about 18 months old and again just a few years ago. He was tested as a baby because one day my brother took him to the horse farm where he was working so that he could see the horses. He ended up having an allergic reaction that required a trip to the ER in an ambulance. So he's allergic to dogs, cats, rabbits, horses, etc.

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Dogs, cats, gerbils... all can trigger a trip to the hospital. So, we just say no. DD understands that keeping her brother alive is more important than having a pet. I have instilled that lessons slowly and gently over time because it's the reality of our life. We just can't allow some things in this house. Sometimes she doesn't like it, but that's the way it is. I try to redirect DD's interests in other areas.

 

Grandma has tried keeping animals at her house for DD and it never works out. Right now there is a barn cat on the property but it isn't allowed to come near the kids (contamination). They have rabbits at grandmas but touching those is now causing DS problems. So the bunnies are now "look but don't touch" for the most part.

 

DD does understand that dogs make her brother sick. She has seen it happen. And she is very careful after being exposed to dogs not to touch her brother. She changes clothes and showers as soon as she gets home.

My parents and sister have three dogs at their house, one a chocolate lab puppy which is adorable, so she does get a chance to play with them. But they live about 25 minutes away, so it isn't often.

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We have the same situation.

 

Visit rescues that specialize in less allergic breeds (there's no such thing as a completely hypoallergenic dog) . we have a bichon/poodle mix.

 

Look for volunteer opportunities for your dd. your ds can't do this,but he's old enough to stay home while you go with dd--she's too young to volunteer without you. SPCA, rescues. Look at smaller rescue groups, these are run out private homes and they often need someone to help with walking, general care and companionship. Help your dd start a pet care business--you will have to help.

 

I've been trying to do this, but the SPCA in our area requires volunteers to be 14 or older. And the local rescue shelter hasn't returned my emails. Maybe it's time to give them a call.

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Time to research other kinds of pets I think. No dog is hypoallergenic. I'd look at something like a bearded dragon for your daughter to love on, and maybe look into allergy injections for your son, if he is willing, to see if that works. But it would probably take years.

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I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you and your daughter.

 

My husband is highly allergic to cats. For a long time our daughter wanted a cat desperately. We just had to keep explaining that cats made dad sick. That's it! No cats.

 

She eventually got over it but it took a long time and there was resentment for a little while. Now she is fine; she reached a maturity level and the understanding clicked. She has since commented how selfish and foolish she was to be demanding a pet that would make her dad sick. ETA: we didn't tell her she was selfish; she was just young. She came to that conclusion on her own.

 

If you've pursued the possibilities, and it still points to not getting a dog, she will just have to learn to live with it. She will but it might take a while! :grouphug: to you and to her.

Edited by marbel
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JMHO, but I wouldn't recommend keeping a dog outside. People do it with all the good intentions in the world, but IMO unless you're a family that spends large amounts of time outside in all sorts of weather (like a farming family) then it's cruel. The dog simply cannot get the attention it needs and deserves, and it's very stressful for dogs to be kept separate from their family so much.

 

:iagree: Please do not get social animals with the intent to isolate them.

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I love cats - had a gorgeous Tonkinese that we trained to use the toilet, so NO cat litter and smell! She was awesome.

 

Then I had my first son. Found out at about a year old he was allergic to cats, dogs, etc. I had to get rid of my cat.

 

My boys would love a dog, but their hair is never containable, and there would always be breathing problems with my oldest. The first day with a dog isn't too bad - it gets worse at night and he can't breathe. It's horrible - even with outdoor dogs.

 

I don't have a solution - I just tell my boys they can look forward to getting a dog when they grow up and have their own place...

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Okay, this is radical--- but have you ever heard of a

XOLOITZCUINTLE

 

dog?

 

 

 

It's pronounced "show-low-eat-KWEENT-lee" and is also known as a "Mexican Hairless" dog.

 

 

 

They truly are hairless. They still produce dander, but many folks find that they can tolerate a xolo ("show-low") better than other breeds. It might be worth checking out. We show against several and they are wonderfully sweet dogs. Three sizes-- standard, intermediate and miniature and are smart, rugged dogs. Here's a link about xolos and allergies.....

 

 

http://www.xolorescueusa.org/allergic.html

 

 

Might be worth checking out.....

 

 

astrid

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We are allergic to dogs here, and are allergic to the dogs that are supposed to be safe. In fact, poodles are the worst. Surprisingly, we read that ferrets are good, so we got tested, and all of us were fine with them. We have two right now, that it has stopped the begging for a dog. I will warn you though, if you go that route, choose an older ferret, the young ones bite, and it's hard to break them of it. When they get older, they are more cuddly, and they follow us around the way a dog would. In fact, if they are out of their cage when we leave the house, when we come back, they are at the door waiting for us. I like to think of them as really ugly dogs.

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DD does understand that dogs make her brother sick. She has seen it happen. And she is very careful after being exposed to dogs not to touch her brother. She changes clothes and showers as soon as she gets home.

My parents and sister have three dogs at their house, one a chocolate lab puppy which is adorable, so she does get a chance to play with them. But they live about 25 minutes away, so it isn't often.

 

To me, 25 minutes away isn't that far at all! Can your dd spend more time with her grandparents and aunt? Then she can cultivate deeper extended family relationships while getting "dog-time". She could take a shower there before coming home to protect your DS.

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WAIT-- Just had another thought. No idea where you live, but you mentioned an acre. Would your zoning allow a small goat? They are lots of fun, and very much like dogs. Your dd could do 4-H....... and there are so many really sweet goat breeds. Just a thought.

 

astrid

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:iagree: She will mature and understand eventually.

 

I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you and your daughter.

 

My husband is highly allergic to cats. For a long time our daughter wanted a cat desperately. We just had to keep explaining that cats made dad sick. That's it! No cats.

 

She eventually got over it but it took a long time and there was resentment for a little while. Now she is fine; she reached a maturity level and the understanding clicked. She has since commented how selfish and foolish she was to be demanding a pet that would make her dad sick. ETA: we didn't tell her she was selfish; she was just young. She came to that conclusion on her own.

 

If you've pursued the possibilities, and it still points to not getting a dog, she will just have to learn to live with it. She will but it might take a while! :grouphug: to you and to her.

 

Dander will spread throughout the house. It will be on your dd's clothes, skin, and hair. Just washing her hands a lot will not prevent the dander from being everywhere.

 

With a child as reactive as yours it would be unfair to him to have a dog.

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Dander will spread throughout the house. It will be on your dd's clothes, skin, and hair. Just washing her hands a lot will not prevent the dander from being everywhere.

 

With a child as reactive as yours it would be unfair to him to have a dog.

 

:iagree:

 

Sorry, but DS should not have to do breathing treatments because DD wants a dog. It's just not fair to the rest of the family OR the dog to turn the house upside down trying to control where the dog (and its dander) can be. DD can wait until she is grown up to have her own dog. It's disappointing - but it's one of those sad lessons - you can't always get what you want.

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Honestly, I think this is a great lesson on loving others before yourselves.

 

If your son's allergies are so severe, then IMO, you shouldn't even consider having a dog in your family. Even if the dog is kept outside or in a separate building, hair and dander will make its way into your house via your daughter.

 

I have severe allergies and asthma. My kids would love to have an animal, but I've told them that they are going to have to wait until they grow up and have their own homes.

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We rehomed our pets because of my son's allergies/asthma triggered by allergies. My allergy son loves animals and especially cats (he's allergic to cat, dog, and rabbit we know). It makes me sad he can't have a pet. But he can't. It would break my heart to know my daughter was as sad as yours over the dog issue. I still can't see myself getting one though. :grouphug: Is it just animals or are there other allergens? Because for my son the dog coming in from outside with pollen and etc. on its fur would be an issue too. Beyond that I can't see giving an outdoor only dog as much love and attention as it deserves and then coming in and showering and changing clothes every single time.

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My husband and one son are allergic strongly to cats and decently so to dogs (although not sound as severely as your son so take this with a grain of salt).

We ended up getting a goldendoodle (golden retriever/poodle mix). Now, these can come out very different in breeding and some are more hypoallergenic than others so you would need to be careful. A full bred poodle would probably be safer. We have had her for almost two years now and it has worked great. She gets washed/groomed very often and does not go upstairs at all (where bedrooms/play areas are). She has hair instead of fur (no dander).

My next door neighbor has much more severe dog allergies and has been amazed by that he can play with our dog and not react. He said it's the first one he can run around with and not worry.

Again, if the reaction possibility is too severe I don't know that I would risk it, but this is what worked for us. You know, I just read the whole thread. Honestly, I wouldn't risk it with the severity of your son's allergies. Ours, while not mild, are just not that severe here.

Edited by momto3innc
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We tried poodles and labradoodles with our allergic ds and they were a no go. He came very close to being hospitalized when our dog was kept on our screened porch which has a sliding door opening into the kitchen. There was just too much "dogness" getting in! Our compromise was moving the dog outdoors. This is not an ideal situation (though I wouldn't characterize it as cruel). We always had outdoor dogs when I was growing up and they seemed happy enough. Our boys spend a good deal of time outside.

 

If the fence had not been an option, then we would not have been able to keep the dog. A family member's health trumps another's desire to have a particular animal. I agree with other posters that you should try other pets or find ways for your dd to get her dog fix which are safe for your son.

 

Best wishes,

 

Cindy

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We have a similar situation: older dd is an animal lover; younger dd is severely allergic. Any contact, even with low-allergen breeds, leads to breathing problems.

 

Does your ds see an allergist? My allergic daughter has just started getting allergy shots. If they work, she should be able to be around dogs and cats and her other allergens. The doctor said he tends to see better results from the shots with young people (dd is 9). It is covered by our insurance and our hope is that this makes her asthma better in the long run.

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Thanks to all for the advice. I know in my head that we can't have a dog, but I was hoping in my heart that there was another option.

 

Dd and I had a nice talk about it today, and she realizes that her brother's health is more important. She has always been very careful about not exposing him to dander when she has been around dogs. And she is very protective of him when we happen to spot a dog in public. :)

 

I have left a phone message with the local rescue shelter, and have found out that our local zoo lets kids volunteer starting at the age of 10 if they have a parent with them. Her b-day is coming up soon, so I think we are going to look into that.

 

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. When she is a little older, we will talk about maybe doing some pet-sitting or dog walking.

 

Thanks again!

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