How often do DH & you discuss your HSing?

[triadofchaos]

whenever i plan for our next cycle, i always make a point of reviewing where DD is at and what i've got planned for the next bit. i also run almost all online HS related purchases by him (esp. high dollar ones) with a brief explanation of the purpose of each line item. but day to day, he doesn't really ask what we're up to and i don't really volunteer the info. sometimes DD is really excited about an accomplishment or outing and shares with him on her own. and we do have this game we play at the dinner table where everyone has to share 2 things they learned that day. but other than that we don't talk much about it. i kind of assuming it's because he trusts me and my efforts, but is it strange that i'm not giving him more frequent updates?

[Kelli in TN]

My husband is interested in two things.

 

1) What is this going to cost me?

 

2) How high do you think their ACT scores will be?

 

Beyond that we don't discuss it.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think whatever works. I would say that something is said briefly a few times a week. It's very brief, just something interesting or a minor bump in the road or accomplishment. Rarely would anything go over 3-5 minutes unless it's June and time to figure out next year for sure or a kid was the one carrying on about something neat.

[Amy loves Bud]

Rarely. Bud is pretty comfortable with my teaching and decision-making regarding curriculum. If I'm struggling with a decision, I'll run it by him, but I rarely update him. I like it this way - having complete control of the situation because I'm the one doing it on a daily basis. It would drive me crazy if he was all into curriculum and thought I should use something different than what I had chosen.

 

However, he works from home and frequently passes through our school area, so he hears what's happening and probably knows more about it than I think he does.

[summer]

I try to. But, the most of the discussions seem to be general information seeking sessions so he can go back and have fuel to argue with people who knows who are anti-homeschool. I do try to discuss other things, but at this point, he says if he has to hear anything thing about math curriculums.....he may need to be committed, LOL. oh well.

[triadofchaos]

It would drive me crazy if he was all into curriculum and thought I should use something different than what I had chosen.

 

ooo-- good point. me too. i guess i was just wondering if i should tell him more. but if he's happy with the general results and trusts my decisions/abilities, there's probably no need. we're still early in our journey anyway. perhaps he'll want to be more involved later on down the path.

[Mamasteff]

My dh really is very hands off- and his day job is as a ps teacher! We will share what we have learned, and I will bounce ideas off of him at this time of year as we plan for next year.

 

The only caveat is, since we are in CA, we have turned in an affidavit stating he is the principal of our very small private school. So I call him "Principal Skinner" and he calls me "Mrs. Lovejoy" - exclusively when we are discussing homeschool issues.

 

It makes me crack up every time.

[triadofchaos]

:lol:

[Kelli in TN]

So I call him "Principal Skinner" and he calls me "Mrs. Lovejoy" - exclusively when we are discussing homeschool issues.

.

 

Sure. Like we believe that. Only we you are discussing homeschool issues.

 

Hey, maybe I could interest dh in discussing homeschool issues if I told him that he got to call me Mrs. Lovejoy.:lol:

[gardenschooler]

Does it count if it's just me talking? :lol:

 

I try to share what we do, especially because I think it's helpful for the kids to get some feedback from him. But I think he trusts me, because he really never asks.

 

I've gotten him to talk some about curriculum choices, but for some reason, he doesn't want to sit around and dissect the minutiae of each one (imagine that!). That's when I think, "Why am I asking him? He doesn't know beans - I've got a whole board of people that really know," and I let him go watch his basketball game in peace.

 

He's been very nice about listening, but honestly, the conversations are pretty much one way. That's fine with me. I would not be fine if he actually had an opinion - I'm too much of a control freak for that!

[gardenschooler]

My husband is interested in two things.

 

1) What is this going to cost me?

 

2) How high do you think their ACT scores will be?

 

Beyond that we don't discuss it.

 

Really, mine is only interested in #1. I purposely talked a lot this year because I wanted him to know why it was going to cost so much. Maybe I was trying to justify the cost in my mind. Well, I also wanted him to feel like we both made the decision together that way he couldn't complain about how much it cost.

 

[triadofchaos]

mine is concerned with cost too. we bought a mircoscope this summer and i made sure to show him all my research so he would feel like we were getting a good price and wouldn't complain.

 

i'm on hold from buying anything else for the fall until our new house settles next week!

[Anne]

We homeschooled for 18 years and I don't think we discussed it more than a few times in all those years. It was my job and he was happy to leave it with me. Occasionally I discussed a problem I was having with him, but usually it was more productive to discuss it with a fellow homeschooling mom.

 

I tried to mention various things we did in a given day - but it was much more "discussing our day" as opposed to "discussing homeschooling", if that makes any sense.

 

It worked for us.

 

If it's working for you - don't try to fix it!! :D

 

Anne

[Jean in Newcastle]

I tried to mention various things we did in a given day - but it was much more "discussing our day" as opposed to "discussing homeschooling", if that makes any sense.

 

 

 

This is how it works for us too. I talk about how the kids are doing etc. but I would talk about the same things even if they were in public school. I do show him the neat stuff I buy - it is his duty to look interested :D but since I do all our financial stuff and am the one who is always harping about how much we spend, he doesn't worry about that.

[Plaid Dad]

Since dw works at home, she can hear what we're doing as we're doing it. Dd also runs in to share work she's done. I usually debrief dw on our progess at the end of the day. I also talk over my plans and most curriculum purchases with her.

[elegantlion]

As far as purchases he is more of a power point kind of guy, he just wants the bullets, no details. I give him a dollar amount and he gives me the money as he can. He wouldn't admit this until last year, but it took him over a year of homeschooling to "trust" what I was doing. This year we are changing directions in our method, so I wrote up a brief snyopsis so he could read it and ask questions if necessary. This works for us as I love details and try to get them all in when talking. :D

 

We do an orientation before school and I lay out all the materials and he Oh's and Ah's over them. This is to help ds get excited about the material because it is daddy approved.

 

As for the day to day he is very much involved. A lot of the conversation is between ds and dh. We talk several times throughout the day and I will usually give him the highlights before he comes home. We set out papers for dh to see almost every day. His official title is principal.

[Melanie]

I talk; he puts his game face on and pretends to understand/care/think about what I'm saying, and then he says, "Whatever you think, Sweetie."

 

It works for us. :)

[Lolly]

He never really cares much, though he does listen politely most of the time. This is my area. I sometimes run plans by him and ask for his opinion. He never has one. Mostly I just plan and purchase totally on my own.

[Christine]

I talk; he puts his game face on and pretends to understand/care/think about what I'm saying, and then . . .

 

. . .and then my husband has a horrible tendency to think of a "pause" as "end of conversation" and leaves the room!

 

Come to think of it, when I try to discuss anything with him, he generally tries to skidaddle, but if he can't do that then he puts on his "frumpy" face.

 

Homeschool expenses come out of "my money", so he doesn't care about that, either.

[Parrothead]

I talk; he puts his game face on and pretends to understand/care/think about what I'm saying, and then he says, "Whatever you think, Sweetie."

 

It works for us. :)

That sounds like mine.

[DB in NJ]

Funny how it works in our house:

 

I talk to dh about homeschooling.

 

He listens for 3.75 seconds.

 

His eyes glaze over.

 

I keep talking.

 

He becomes unconscious.

 

I keep talking.

 

I mention the cost.

 

He comes to.

 

;)

[triadofchaos]

:lol: i love it!

[Kelli in TN]

.

Homeschool expenses come out of "my money", so he doesn't care about that, either.

 

Well, really mine does too. I think it is sort of unfair, so I will try to sigh a lot and make comments about eating beans this week since I had to pay for xyz. I know that is not very mature.

 

He does cover some things, esp at the high school level. He is covering a college class for our 17 year old this summer.

 

And in all fairness, he is helping our 19 year old with what her scholarship does not cover. But only for a couple more days, then he will stop helping our 19 year old and start helping our 20 year old!!:lol:

 

I guess I should stop that immature sighing thing shouldn't I?

[Mama Lynx]

DH is becoming more interested as the kids get older. We talk about it often, mainly because I can't keep my mouth shut - I think by talking or writing.

 

If anything should happen to me, he wants to continue the homeschooling, and so likes me to keep a thorough update somewhere ... written out for him in email, or on my blog.

[phathui5]

I tried to mention various things we did in a given day - but it was much more "discussing our day" as opposed to "discussing homeschooling", if that makes any sense.

 

This is how it happens here too. It's not that we're specifically discussing homeschooling, it's that we're talking about what the kids did today. I tried to talk to dh about curriculum for next year this morning and he said "Just buy what you think you need."

 

I thought I had wanted him more interested, but I see the previous poster's point about having the freedom to do what you want.

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

Rarely. My dh's eyes glaze over when I begin to talk about homeschooling. LOL. No, really, he does try to take interest, but it isn't his favorite topic. However, he does express concern over homeschooling rights and issues like that. But currics, lesson plans, philosophies, etc...just put him into a coma :o).

 

Blessings,

Camy

[plain jane]

We discuss almost daily what went on that day or any challenges I may have encountered. I run my curriculum purchases by him although not for monetary reasons. He likes to hear what I've chosen and why and I like a sounding board. He completely trusts me to make the best decisions for our kids but *I* need to talk about what I'm buying.

 

I often ask his opinion on books and curriculum. He's come to used sales with me (hates it) but he will sit and look through the books I'm interested in buying and give me his opinion. He just recently spent over 1/2hr flipping through 2 of the Apologia Elem. series as well as another science program then gave me his opinion on which to choose. He also looked through Reading Strands vs TtC and recommended which he thought I should get.- this took another 1/2 hr. Wow! Did I just admit he spent 1 hour at a curriculum sale? yikes. Don't tell him I shared this!:blushing:

 

He is very involved and is happy to be, but there again, it comes down to *my* need to involve him more than his excitement over homeschooling.

[jonesloonybin]

I talk to my DH multiple times during the day about what we are doing or what I have come across. I also show him curriculum I am interested in and ask his opinion. We both went to the curriculum fair and he really got into it! :001_smile:

 

He plans on doing the science experiments and math class. He is also excited to teach both our girls about computers and such.

 

But in the end he lets me choose what I want and really supports me. He is there to calm me down (or boost me up) when I am having doubts or when I have decided that my girls are going to end up working at Mc D's and mooching off us forever because I failed. :tongue_smilie:

 

I really could not do it with out him!

 

Terri

dd (A) 13

dd ® 5

and a snoring/farting pug named Buddha!

[clwcain]

And in great detail. Some of it is simply accountability. I want to know what's being covered at least weekly.

 

I do the research and make the purchasing decisions regarding materials after extensive consultation with The Ringmistress. She handles implementation and execution.

 

We work together on scheduling and the actual juggling of things.

 

I'll have a more "hands on" role as the boys age, but for now primary education is mostly in her hands.

 

I have to say I'm surprised at how many of you have uninterested spouses. I find that incomprehensible and very sad.:confused:

[brehon]

My dh is very interested in the educating aspect of our home school. He'll help with any lesson, except Latin, and loves to hear about who learned what when.

 

He is completely uninterested in HOW (as in which curricula) said educating is accomplished. He trusts that I have (over) researched the options and picked what I believe will work best. As I pay for all curricula he also doesn't feel the need to comment <ahem> on the cost. He knows that the Scot in me hates spending unnecessary money and therefore won't go overboard.

 

Overall, I'd say we don't specifically discuss homeschooling every day.

[nmoira]

We do occasionally discuss big picture ideas like math sequence, but for the most part this is my province. Most discussion is of more of an everyday nature. For example, we'll talk about some of the things we did during the day over dinner. Everyone gets to talk about their day.

[Sue G in PA]

I run all decisions by him just to say I did! :) He is so good to sit there and listen to me talk endlessly about this curriculum or that. I'll ask him what he thinks about using A or B and he usually just stares at me. Sometimes I'd LOVE for him to make the decision for me, but really, he doesn't know as much about the programs as I do. So, he is mostly concerned about 1. COST and 2. my sanity in whatever program I choose!

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Dh and I talk about it quite a bit. Quite a bit more than he probably wants to, but he has been really helpful in certain areas. This year, he is going to actually start participating in the process more. He's in charge of PE and doing dissections with dd. He attends school-related stuff with me and enjoys it- or acts like he does if we get there and it ends up being totally lame. He takes a lot of interest in what dd is learning and will help her with schoolwork anytime she asks- sometimes too much- he often gives her the answer instead of helping her get to the answer and I HATE THAT!!!!! :banghead:

 

He does complain about my spending some, but when he actually sees what I am getting for the $ he is pleased 99% of the time. I always let him know when I spend and what I spend. He earns the money and should know what he is getting for his hard earned dough. He tells me when he makes more than a medium-sized purchase too, though. I have the freedom to pick out whatever I want and need for homeschooling, but I do ask for his input from time to time and he always tries to have some input of value.

[genie]

I might mention things in passing on a weekly basis, such as particular things we are studying. But in-depth discussions occur maybe three times a year.

 

1. At the beginning of the year when I need to talk out my new plans.

2. A couple of months into the year, when I need to talk out any changes that are needed.

3. At the end of the year when I need to reflect on the past year and plan for next year.

 

He does really try to show interest, but he often just ends up as a sounding board. By telling him my concerns, I more easily see the solutions.

[Jill- OK]

Really, mine is only interested in #1. I purposely talked a lot this year because I wanted him to know why it was going to cost so much. Maybe I was trying to justify the cost in my mind. Well, I also wanted him to feel like we both made the decision together that way he couldn't complain about how much it cost.

 

Mine is interested in the 'bottom line', too, lol, and we did have to discuss it more this year because of starting high school. (Hoo, doggies...high school stuff can get 'SPENSIVE!)

 

He does occasionally make sure they're doing fine in math, but that's his only concern, and 'doing fine' is pretty broad. :)

[Michelle T]

I talk; he puts his game face on and pretends to understand/care/think about what I'm saying, and then he says, "Whatever you think, Sweetie."

 

It works for us. :)

 

 

Actually, DH doesn't even put on a game face, he just stares at me blankly, and as soon as I pause to take a breath, he changes the subject.

Michelle T

[Hannah]

I talk; he puts his game face on and pretends to understand/care/think about what I'm saying, and then he says, "Whatever you think, Sweetie."

 

It works for us. :)

 

Yup, that's us and why I love these boards!!

[Heather in Savannah]

so I don't often go there. His major interest is making sure that the children are up to speed in Math. I manage all our finances, so I have complete freedom there....I'm so grateful for his willingness to work and provide me with the funds I need. However, he knows that I am pretty tight with money, so is confident that I won't get carried away. :D At times I wish he were more interested, but as others have said, at times it is easier to operate independently, and just get on with the job. :001_smile:

[newbie]

Mine is interested in the 'bottom line', too, lol, and we did have to discuss it more this year because of starting high school. (Hoo, doggies...high school stuff can get 'SPENSIVE!)

 

He does occasionally make sure they're doing fine in math, but that's his only concern, and 'doing fine' is pretty broad. :)

 

Same here.

 

Jet

[ncmomo3]

I read some of these responses to my dh, particularly the ones about eyes glazing over and bottom line on cost; he just laughed and said, "It's funny... because it's true." (I think he feels validated:lol:)

[Erica in PA]

I am very blessed to have a dh who feels exactly the way I'd like him to regarding homeschooling. He is willing to be a sounding board whenever I need it, but ultimately he has a huge amount of trust in me to make most of the decisions. He loves hearing about what we do, and is so proud of me and of the kids. He is willing to spend whatever it takes to give our kids a good education, and he has faith in me that I won't spend money without good reason. He defends homeschooling to co-workers, and gives solid explanations to anyone who is interested. He is 100% supportive of homeschooling, and doesn't like the idea of any other schooling options for our kids. He wants us to homeschool all the way through high school, and he wants my focus to be on that and being a mom until then, and not on bringing in money. He wants to provide that, so that I can concentrate my efforts on what he considers to be the most important things, homeschooling and caring for the children. Did I mention that I'm blessed to have him?? :001_wub:

 

To answer the question, we probably talk about homeschooling several times per week, usually just in general terms (i.e. how the kids are doing, things kids have learned that are significant, why we're glad we're doing it, etc.) We don't discuss details all that often, mostly just as I need to in order to get advice from him on particular problems or decisions. I'd say a couple times each month we have a more detailed discussion about our particular homeschool.

 

Erica

[clwcain]

I read some of these responses to my dh, particularly the ones about eyes glazing over and bottom line on cost; he just laughed and said, "It's funny... because it's true." (I think he feels validated:lol:)

 

Wow. I feel like such a freak. :)

[ncmomo3]

Wow. I feel like such a freak. :)

 

No-no ---no feeling like a freak.:D Does your dw's eyes glaze over when you talk about it? Maybe Plaid dad could chime in too. I'm really curious now. Actually, my eyes glaze over when dh talks about his professional "stuff". Maybe it's the same thing. hmmmm......

[Kelli in TN]

Wow. I feel like such a freak. :)

 

 

Well, as Laney always says, "You have a freak flag, you just don't fly it."

 

Wait, I think she says that to all of us. Are we all freaks? Probably.

[clwcain]

No-no ---no feeling like a freak.:D Does your dw's eyes glaze over when you talk about it? Maybe Plaid dad could chime in too. I'm really curious now. Actually, my eyes glaze over when dh talks about his professional "stuff". Maybe it's the same thing. hmmmm......

 

No, she and I tend to get excited about the same things. Her eyes start to glaze when I talk about the finer points of liturgy or ecclesiastical politics. Mine glaze when she goes deep into philology or ID/evolution.

 

But other than that, she has a graduate degree in what I do for a living, so we even talk about my work without either of us getting too bored. ;)

 

Oh well. In this I shall let my freak flag fly. Such a wife is a treasure to me.

[Kelli in TN]

. Such a wife is a treasure to me.

 

Girls, say it with me now...."Aw, that is so sweet!" Now go tell her what you just told us.

 

 

I'd give you rep for saying that if I weren't plumb outta' rep for the day.

[Rosie_0801]

I'm not actually homeschooling yet, just researching. Dh listens to whatever new tidbit I've come up with because he knows it's his manly duty to listen to his Mrs talking. It's understood that he's only expected to listen and make appropriate "uh-huh" noises, not to actually care. Unless I'm hormonal, then I interrogate him about that too. Poor, long suffering chappie.

;D

Rosie

[frogpond1]

I am ready to be on summer break and not discuss anything scholastic.

[Colleen]

nt

[Peela]

I don't share the financial side much. I have a separate income just for homeschooling, and I make it work within that, and he doesn't question it.

I talk to him about our homeschooling when I need to share something. I don't even ask his permission for anything....its basically all up to me. And I like it that way, really. He hasn't done the research I have.

But, I do ask for feedback sometimes. Especially with our son, who has learning challenges...dh often has insight that helps me.

Dh has his own "world" with work, that he shares parts of with me...but not every detail. Probably more than I do, really, because he just isnt that interested in the nitty gritty of my homeschooling life but he loves to talk about the people he works with.