TranquilMind Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Please tell me your first impression here. If a Mom says to a teen daughter, formerly homeschooled and now in an urban high school, while discussing her upcoming trip abroad to a mountainous region, "Whatever you do, don't cut yourself." What does this mean to you? I said I'd poll other Moms (and if your 15-17 year old daughters want to weigh in, that would be great). What would you think Mom meant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I think she might be worried about the medical care her daughter would get in that area. Maybe there is infections that she knows about. On the other hand, if the daughter has any "issues" then I might think she meant that the daughter cuts herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 The first thing that comes to mind is "cutting". With no other context whatsoever, I'd assume the dd had a history of cutting and the mom was referencing that. However, I can see a mom saying that just meaning "be safe", and having no clue of the other possible interpretation (and the dd being offended/horrified). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Gut reaction is that the dd is or has or possibly leans toward being a cutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I think I have been reading too many adventure books lately, my thought was that the blood might draw predators out to get her. :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 On the other hand, if the daughter has any "issues" then I might think she meant that the daughter cuts herself. Let's stipulate up front that the daughter does not have these issues and has never done this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would have interpreted it to mean, "don't get injured!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 My son faints at the sight of his own blood. When he went to Scout camp last year, I gave him almost the same stern warning, lol. I was teasing a little and also very concerned that if he did cut himself (by accident), he might pass out and cause the other Scouts and leaders to panic. But I would probably just assume that she was concerned about the possibility of infection when there wouldn't be adequate clean water and disinfectant available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I'd assume she was concerned about the level of medical care available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would assume Mom meant "be safe," but my mind also immediately went to "cutting" (as in--on purpose). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would assume Mom meant "be safe," but my mind also immediately went to "cutting" (as in--on purpose). :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I'd assume she was concerned about the level of medical care available. :iagree: with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petepie2 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 If it was a concern over medical care, it would have made more sense to say in general terms "don't get hurt!" or something. Maybe the girl has an issue with blood where she doesn't clot or something completely life-threatening. That's all I can think of. I agree. Maybe she has some blood-clotting issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Maybe she has a history of falling and cutting herself open. I have a child like that, and I do tell her not to cut herself sometimes. Usually I say do not hurt yourself, but it is really whatever comes to my mind at the time. I do not tend to read much into what people say though, so I do not always choose my words as though someone is digging deeper into what I am saying. It is bad, because I offend people without meaning to, but it is what it is. Maybe the mom is like me.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) I'd assume she was cutting. What else could it mean :confused: ETA: Well with the further clarification that you gave, then I'd think she meant be careful. Edited March 16, 2012 by Upward Journey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would assume the mom was concerned about first aid on the side of a mountain. I have a formerly home schooled daughter who is now in school. I would be concerned about an accident on a trip like that and would issue all sorts of safety warnings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 A few thoughts went through my head. Cutting- an emotional reaction Cutting-physically cutting ones self accidentally (some people are prone to certain types of injuries....maybe she is a clutz?) Cutting-used to mean getting injured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Please tell me your first impression here. If a Mom says to a teen daughter, formerly homeschooled and now in an urban high school, while discussing her upcoming trip abroad to a mountainous region, "Whatever you do, don't cut yourself." What does this mean to you? I said I'd poll other Moms (and if your 15-17 year old daughters want to weigh in, that would be great). What would you think Mom meant? She doesn't want her daughter to need a tetanus shot? Her daughter has hemophilia and will bleed out, and the nearest hospital is a day away? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostinabook Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I'd assume either that the mom is afraid her daughter will get a nasty infection if she has an open wound or that the daughter has a blood clotting disorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 If it was a concern over medical care, it would have made more sense to say in general terms "don't get hurt!" or something. Maybe the girl has an issue with blood where she doesn't clot or something completely life-threatening. That's all I can think of. My nephew has hemophilia. You aren't only concerned with cuts so a mom of a kid with a clotting disorder wouldn't necessarily specify cuts either. I think people are reading WAY too much into one small comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Without reading the other replies, I would think Mom was warning her not to get hurt because it may be difficult to get medical attention in the mountainous area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 My dd was cutting for awhile a few years back. We are still hyper diligent with her. That's what I thought you were talking about first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 On a can while camping?? That's my first thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 So, do we get to know why you are asking? Was this you and your dd, and she took offense? Or was it someone else, and your dd thinks it means the daughter's been cutting, and you don't? Or is it some other "lost in translation" scenario? You can't leave us hanging... :D:lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I would imagine some specific concern about tetanus - that's soil born, isn't it? Or some other such disease. The comment is a little specific. I personally have a much wider range of concerns: "Whatever you do, don't cut yourself. Don't talk to strangers. Always travel with a friend. Tell people where you are going and when you'll be back. Carry a cell phone. And perhaps a GPS locator. Don't poke a bear. Stay away from bee hives". I'm really just getting started! Also wondering why you're asking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Didn't read past op. My first thought is 'cutting' but since that doesn't make sense I'd figure it was because of concern for medical care being available or adequate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 My first thought was her tetanus isn't up to date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I think I have been reading too many adventure books lately, my thought was that the blood might draw predators out to get her. :eek: I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. That's the first place my mind went also. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I might think it was an inside joke. For awhile DD went through a tree-climbing phase. I had to really monitor her because she would go 30 or more feet up. We started to joke when I dropped her off somehwere, "Don't climb any trees!" even if it wasn't a possibility. If someone heard me they might have thought it was strange! Just an idea, if it wasn't the real cutting issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I might think it was an inside joke. For awhile DD went through a tree-climbing phase. I had to really monitor her because she would go 30 or more feet up. We started to joke when I dropped her off somehwere, "Don't climb any trees!" even if it wasn't a possibility. If someone heard me they might have thought it was strange! Just an idea, if it wasn't the real cutting issue. :iagree: I would think there may be a story in there. Maybe she went to the mountains before and got in some accident where she got cut pretty badly, and now they are just joking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 (edited) My first thought is an in joke between mother and daughter. Maybe at some point one of them got cut just as the other said whatever you do don't cut yourself and it has stuck as phrase they use to mean be careful. Definitely it could mean that the daughter was a cutter, but my first thought was inside joke. I guess for me it would depend on the tone. inflection and body language of both mother and daughter during this exchange. ETA my first thought is inside joke because in my family we say things like "make sure you are not a dumassnessness" Which is our way of saying "use your brains and don't be a dumba$$" So my thoughts go straight to a family joke that no one else would get. Edited March 16, 2012 by swellmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I think there's a lot of jumping to conclusions going on here. How can you think anything about it without hearing the rest of the conversation? There are so many possible scenarios. Was camping involved? Maybe the daughter was worried about cutting twigs to build a fire and Mom cautioned her not to cut herself in the process. Maybe the daughter was carrying a pocket knife and other camping equipment for the first time. Maybe said pocket knife wasn't folding up as easily as it should have. Maybe there was a sharp place on daughter's suitcase and she had already scratched herself on it. There are just so many possibilities. I would never think to jump to the worst one. And it could have just been something between mother and daughter. Once when I was going out with a friend (I was driving), my mom told me not to get hit by a train! LOL.. Her reasoning was that that comment would get my attention better than just telling to me to be careful or drive safely or blah, blah, blah. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Well, my oldest DD cut herself a few months back by doing something stupid with a knife. If I had said that I would have been teasing her and meant,"Don't be silly and hurt yourself." It could be a worry over infection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I think there's a lot of jumping to conclusions going on here. How can you think anything about it without hearing the rest of the conversation? There are so many possible scenarios. ... There are just so many possibilities. I would never think to jump to the worst one. Well of course. But the OP asked "Please tell me your first impression here." While my mind went first to cutting, helped by the "lost in translation" title and the reference to an urban high school (where I assume there is an awareness of cutting), I certainly wouldn't assume that's what the mom actually meant. It was just the first thought in a long list of possibilities. We'd need more facts, context, info about the people involved, why the OP brought it up, and so on, before zeroing in on a realistic/likely scenario, and even then we'd be speculating. The OP asked for first impressions, we gave them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Well of course. But the OP asked "Please tell me your first impression here." While my mind went first to cutting, helped by the "lost in translation" title and the reference to an urban high school (where I assume there is an awareness of cutting), I certainly wouldn't assume that's what the mom actually meant. It was just the first thought in a long list of possibilities. We'd need more facts, context, info about the people involved, why the OP brought it up, and so on, before zeroing in on a realistic/likely scenario, and even then we'd be speculating. The OP asked for first impressions, we gave them. I guess it just surprises me that everyone's first impression was so negative and intense. Maybe I just don't think that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 First thought was Demi Lovato and her issues with cutting. She just had an MTV documentary on dealing with her Bipolar II and issues like cutting. Did you really mean this??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I always tell my 13yo, "No broken body parts!" She injures herself frequently. She has loose joints which means that ankle turns are pretty frequent for her and those generally mean falling. She hasn't actually managed to break any body parts since she broke her nose at 3yo doing a face plant on the sidewalk, but she certainly has the potential to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 that she was going to fall/scrape her self cut her hand on a rock. Rocks are sharp buggers. You grab them the wrong way and you'll slice your hand open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I guess it just surprises me that everyone's first impression was so negative and intense. Maybe I just don't think that way. I think it's more what stage of parenting you're in. Since you're a mom of youngers, the issue may not have touched your circle of friends, or be on your kids' radar. Many teens, though, are aware of the issue (even if only through pop culture and not in "real life"), and those of us with older kids may be more likely to have come across teens who've encountered problems with cutting (or their parents). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Please tell me your first impression here. If a Mom says to a teen daughter, formerly homeschooled and now in an urban high school, while discussing her upcoming trip abroad to a mountainous region, "Whatever you do, don't cut yourself." What does this mean to you? I said I'd poll other Moms (and if your 15-17 year old daughters want to weigh in, that would be great). What would you think Mom meant? I would assume she meant don't get hurt. We've got a lot of family phrases ("buck up and take it like a man", for instance, came into our family when the somewhat wild former neighbor boy told his little sister--they were maybe 6 & 4 at the time--to do just that after she fell) that would make others scratch their heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I'd think she didn't want her daughter engaging in what she/Mom thinks to be typical or likely when a group of adolescent girls get together and do the girl-group thing. Maybe the Mom has friends who deal with this, or maybe she watches Lifetime for Women movies, but I'd assume she's equating cutting with a not-unordinary teenage phase or curiosity-most-likely-engaged-in-during-a-group-environment-away-from-home. I have a teenage sister and teenage nephews, and they thought the same thing when I asked them verbatim from the OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 OrganicAnn;I think she might be worried about the medical care her daughter would get in that area. Maybe there is infections that she knows about. This is it, exactly! Though I do admit I could have worded it more clearly. I told her I'd ask to see if other Moms thought the way I do, and at least some do! On the other hand, if the daughter has any "issues" then I might think she meant that the daughter cuts herself. She doesn't, and the really sad thing is that she would have had no idea what this meant two years ago, before she started at the urban school she attends... That makes me sad. I sure as heck didn't have any idea what this meant until I was an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 However, I can see a mom saying that just meaning "be safe", and having no clue of the other possible interpretation (and the dd being offended/horrified). I was the Mom. This is exactly what I meant, and she would have been offended/horrified before being in the urban school system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I think I have been reading too many adventure books lately, my thought was that the blood might draw predators out to get her. :eek: The funny part is that stuff like this actually occurs to me too!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I would have interpreted it to mean, "don't get injured!" Good! Another person thinks like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I'd assume she was concerned about the level of medical care available. Exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 So, do we get to know why you are asking? Was this you and your dd, and she took offense? Or was it someone else, and your dd thinks it means the daughter's been cutting, and you don't? Or is it some other "lost in translation" scenario? You can't leave us hanging... :D:lurk5: Yes, it was me and my own daughter. No, she didn't take offense. I was actually the one who was kind of horrified that her first thought now goes to "cutting" (as in intentionally) because she knows kids who actually do this at the school she attends (not her!). One girl did a monologue about it that was so disturbing that the teacher stopped the class just a week ago. Ugh. My baby isn't innocent anymore, and that saddens me. No kid should know about stuff like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I personally have a much wider range of concerns: "Whatever you do, don't cut yourself. Don't talk to strangers. Always travel with a friend. Tell people where you are going and when you'll be back. Carry a cell phone. And perhaps a GPS locator. Don't poke a bear. Stay away from bee hives". I'm really just getting started! . She leaves soon for another country. And believe me, my warnings have only just begun. Scary for me to be thousands of miles away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcelmer Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Ugh. My baby isn't innocent anymore, and that saddens me. No kid should know about stuff like this. No, no kid perhaps, but she's well on her way to becoming an adult, so time to arm her with wise info now. Since her peers seem to be there already, you might find some good resources on how to best be a friend to someone who is struggling. With the culture as messed up as it is nowadays, knowing about cutting, suicide, weird tEa stuff etc. is "normal". Maybe not good, or right, but normal to be talked about in her school environment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yes, it was me and my own daughter. No, she didn't take offense. I was actually the one who was kind of horrified that her first thought now goes to "cutting" (as in intentionally) because she knows kids who actually do this at the school she attends (not her!). One girl did a monologue about it that was so disturbing that the teacher stopped the class just a week ago. Ugh. My baby isn't innocent anymore, and that saddens me. No kid should know about stuff like this. To a younger child I would have assumed it was referring to the specific physical injury, but said to a teen I would have assumed intentional cutting. Do a google search on the term "cutting" and you'll see this is the most prevalant usage, especially among this age group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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