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If you make six figures, will you give that up for homeschool?


jennynd
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If you make six figures, will you give that up for homeschool?  

  1. 1. If you make six figures, will you give that up for homeschool?

    • In a heart beat
      129
    • no way
      14
    • not unless I have a special need. (gifted included)
      27
    • Not unless I make 1 million
      3


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I gave it up to be a mom (downgraded to a more flexible, kid-friendly job). If I decided that my kids needed to be homeschooled, I'd do it. But being their only parent, it would be a cost-benefit analysis. Right now, afterschooling is the plan.

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Definitely!

I wasn't quite making six figures but I quit working to stay home with my kids. It was the best decision I ever made. You can't get back time.

:iagree: I made almost as much as my DH at that point, and if I'd continued working, I likely would be at or close to 6 figures by now.

 

Now if I'd been making 6 figures and DH was barely making anything, we would have had him stay home with the kids.

 

Also, in my area, you don't have to make 6 figures (combined) to live decently. In fact, when DH graduated college, he was offered a job in Boston that was 6 figures, and a job here that was less than half that salary. He took the job here. Why? Because in Boston he would have been able to afford a dinky studio apartment and a cheap car. Here, he could buy a house (modest 3 bedroom built in the 80's) and a new car, living pretty comfortably. I'm glad he took the job here, since we met soon after. ;)

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I voted no. If it was a 100k, by the time I paid for 4 dc's private school tuition, I would be back down to very little income- if any. And I would not send them to public school for the money. If I was making 500k maybe. Then I could pay for private school and all kinds of extras while still having a good income. So, it just depends on the number in front of the five zeros.

Dh would not HS the kids. He is not the stay at home dad kind of person.

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I did give it up, and I wish I hadn't. Back then 7 years ago, we had 2 dc and dh was home with the kids. Now we have 5 dc and I am home with the kids. Dh will never make as much as I did despite working harder, and the pay decrease has been a constant source of strain.

 

Hindsight is 20/20, but I can honestly say that I wish I hadn't asked to stay home with the kids. I love them dearly, but this situation isn't ideal for me or for our finances.

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I just accepted a job that will pay six figures, and I will be making more than dh for the second time in our married lives.

 

However, it is a virtual position... I can work from home. DH is also getting to telecommute more often (there is actually a big push for this). My "job" doesn't really begin until lunch time, requires mostly phone and e-mail contact, travel 3-6x a year to destinations including L.A., NYC, Atlanta, Ireland/UK...so I have plenty of time to home school.

 

We may consider getting a PT governess or nanny to assist with afternoon projects and the littles from 11-5.

 

However, I turned down a job (similar pay scale), that required me to go into the office daily, because what we'd be giving up much, much more.

 

I've been telecommuting for the most part since 1997... I'm much too spoiled to give up working in my PJs for any office job ;)

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I would be making that much, at least, if I was working fulltime. But throughout our 13 years of homeschooling, we keep deciding that having a parent at home, homeschooling is what is best for our family. Right now I work part-time (couple times a month) and the kids are old enough to manage for the day without me.But when they were younger I either did not work, or I worked part-time and my dh worked part-time. It definitely makes it an easier decision since my dh makes a very good salary.

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Just curious, though - if you consider time with the kids more important than finances, does that mean the kids are on their own for college?

 

I totally agree that, if I had to choose between the two, I'd first make sure my kids start out with a solid educational foundation from an early age. But if I can do that via choosing a good school, afterschooling, etc., then I'd like to have a few bucks for when my kids go to college, too. In a perfect world, of course.

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We made that decision more over 10 years ago and we have not questioned it once. At one point, we sold one of our vehicles and had only one car in the family for a year to make it work. The rewards of being home with our children and teaching them every day outweigh the sacrifices we make. I am thankful each day that we have this precious opportunity.

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Well that's never been an option here, but I probably would not. If I was making that, dh might stay home (he'd be a great SAHD, but not great at homeschooling). If dh was earning 6 figures in our neck of the woods we'd be wealthy.

 

To go from earning 6 figures to poverty would not work for us. We're nearly in poverty now and it bites not to be able to afford necessities and many of the things other people take for granted. Time with kids is great, but when you spend most of that time telling them no we can't do this because we're broke, it kind of bites. I think there is a balance, right now we're treading it with great caution.

 

I don't know what we'd do about education, it depends on how much time my job required. Around here we could hire private tutors and outsource everything comfortably for that price.

 

Money isn't everything, obviously, but having options that money affords is nice.

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If I were the one making six figures and not DH, no I would not give that up. But he would be staying home with the kids.

 

In this economy in particular, no way. We have financial dreams we want to accomplish too.

 

:iagree: DH is more than capable and willing to be a SAHD and homeschool so if I made the 6 figures he would be the one staying home. We do live in a pretty high cost of living area so 6 figures doesn't go as far as you would expect.

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Absolutely! There is no amount of money I would trade for the bad attitude, had manners, bad school work and everything else that came along with my kids when they went to PS (my oldest through 4th and my now 4th grader in K) When dd4th was in PS k she came home singing the NASTIEST songs. I mean, literally about r@pe, s3x and everything at 5/6 years old. My oldest who was only in PS through 4th grade had image problems (she was tall and skinny but was told she was fat) and starting having issues not wanting to eat. Not to mention they would learn a worldview complete different from our own. No amount of money is worth losing my kids to todays society!!

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I would probably be making 6 figures by now had I stayed in my previous career rather than becoming a SAHM after my 2nd child was born. But that particular career was a means to an end (putting my DH through grad school) and I hated it. So it was a no-brainer to quit as soon as we could afford to.

 

Now if I were in a job I loved, it would be much harder to walk away from it entirely. I would probably try to work part-time and maybe put my kids in a university-model school in order to do so.

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Just curious, though - if you consider time with the kids more important than finances, does that mean the kids are on their own for college?

 

I totally agree that, if I had to choose between the two, I'd first make sure my kids start out with a solid educational foundation from an early age. But if I can do that via choosing a good school, afterschooling, etc., then I'd like to have a few bucks for when my kids go to college, too. In a perfect world, of course.

 

My DH worked 3 part time jobs to put himself through college. He wants the kids to do the same. I went to college via student loans (paid them off several years ago). My DH has a much stronger work ethic. So I agree with him for the kids. We'll help a bit probably, but they'll be responsible for getting scholarships and working part time.

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If I were the one making six figures and not DH, no I would not give that up. But he would be staying home with the kids.

 

In this economy in particular, no way. We have financial dreams we want to accomplish too.

:iagree:

 

Yes, they must be educated, but I also need to provide for them. So, being stuck between a rock and a hard place (if I HAD to go back) I'd put them in PS that I considered as best as I could get them into, and go back to work. (If Dh wasn't working for whatever reason, he'd be homeschooling them. :-))

Edited by justamouse
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I did. It wasn't so much about the education as it was about family lifestyle. DH's job requires 80+ hours a week so we felt a more accessible parent was necessary. So I gave up my income to provide the life we wanted for our children. This decision, though, was based on the fact that DH earned enough to provide the lifestyle we wanted. If I earned more than DH (significantly), we would have reassessed the situation :)

 

In the past few months I have been working to re-establish myself in my career. It will be part-time, though, until everyone is out of the house. The boys need me less now and their schooling is including concurrent courses which take them away from home.

Edited by CynthiaOK
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To go from earning 6 figures to poverty would not work for us. We're nearly in poverty now and it bites not to be able to afford necessities and many of the things other people take for granted. Time with kids is great, but when you spend most of that time telling them no we can't do this because we're broke, it kind of bites. I think there is a balance, right now we're treading it with great caution.

 

Money isn't everything, obviously, but having options that money affords is nice.

 

We aren't in poverty, but :iagree: with this sentiment. I know many great kids from 2-income, public schooled families. I don't think there's a magic kid raising formula with having a SAH parent and/or homeschooling. Obviously we are choosing both paths at the moment, but I would be comfortable with the opposite path as well. In fact, I wish I had a part-time job right now. Between the commute, the childcare cost, and the stress on our family schedule, two incomes just aren't practical for this season.

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I'm not worth that but if I go to grad school when the kid start school like I was considering I could get a decent income and if I home school I would be giving that up. I am not sure it is something I still am debating. We don't have health insurance right now and to me that is more important than homeschooling. If there was a way of getting health insurance and that meant we couldn't home school I would choose the health insurance. I just don't earn enough to pay for daycare right now to work for just health insurance. I been out of work for 5.5 years and my field isn't a high paying one.

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Just curious,

 

If you make six figures, will you give that up for homeschool?

 

Well I pretty much did when I left the military. My peers who stayed active duty are now senior officers and many have had command. They are now retirement eligible. Compensation is pretty good (unless you look too closely at time spent away from home or at the effective hourly rate earned).

 

I gave that up in order to have kids. Homeschooling was a major factor in my not going back onto active duty ten years ago.

 

DH once told some colleagues that we spent $65k on child care per year because that was the value of what my salary would have been at the time.

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Just curious, though - if you consider time with the kids more important than finances, does that mean the kids are on their own for college?

 

I totally agree that, if I had to choose between the two, I'd first make sure my kids start out with a solid educational foundation from an early age. But if I can do that via choosing a good school, afterschooling, etc., then I'd like to have a few bucks for when my kids go to college, too. In a perfect world, of course.

 

The deal for my kids is that if they live at home while going to college we will pay for room and board and try to help with books. No, we are not planning to pay for college. We will help as much as we can. We will work on helping them get scholarships and grants and as much financial aid as we can. If they decide to go away to college we will help some, but room and board will be up to them.

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IE, if the roles were reversed and DH didn't make that but I did? I would enlist him to stay home and teach. ;) I would kind of hate that, because I love being home and teaching, but luckily, it's not that way. He makes the 6 figures and I stay home to teach. :tongue_smilie:

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Just curious, though - if you consider time with the kids more important than finances, does that mean the kids are on their own for college?

 

I totally agree that, if I had to choose between the two, I'd first make sure my kids start out with a solid educational foundation from an early age. But if I can do that via choosing a good school, afterschooling, etc., then I'd like to have a few bucks for when my kids go to college, too. In a perfect world, of course.

 

My hope is to return to the workforce at some point when dd is a teen, at which time I will be attempting to stockpile for retirement, as well as contribute to my her college education. I would also like to have money to be help her out as needed when she is an adult (down payment for a home, things like that).

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If I were the one making six figures and not DH, no I would not give that up. But he would be staying home with the kids.

 

In this economy in particular, no way. We have financial dreams we want to accomplish too.

 

IE, if the roles were reversed and DH didn't make that but I did? I would enlist him to stay home and teach. ;) I would kind of hate that, because I love being home and teaching, but luckily, it's not that way. He makes the 6 figures and I stay home to teach. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: 100% DH makes those 6 figures SO I can stay at home to teach!

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IE, if the roles were reversed and DH didn't make that but I did? I would enlist him to stay home and teach. ;) I would kind of hate that, because I love being home and teaching. :tongue_smilie:

I'm with Lizbeth. My husband could teach them equally well. And think what great field trips we could take them on! I knew a woman with a significant inheritance who homeschooled. When they learned about ancient Egypt, they flew.to.Egypt. :)

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I would give it up to be a Mom... It seems best to our family to have at least 1 parent home full time (or at the very least when the kids are home) to parent. :-) I quit my job to be a sahm mom when we were expecting our first, even though I was offered a raise & would've been making more than my husband was at the time.

 

I have worked a few times since then, while the kids were still preschool, but only for a few days a week in a temp position, with the kids at grandmas. I hated that. Coming home to all the regular work, and already exhausted was not fun.

Edited by lcelmer
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Now if I'd been making 6 figures and DH was barely making anything, we would have had him stay home with the kids.

 

This. Depends if dh does a good job hsing too :) He would love it - he could paint, and the house would look decent :tongue_smilie:

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