Why do some women have issues with getting older and others don't?

[Mommyof4ks]

I have no idea. I am 32 also, and 30 did not bother either. People told me I would dread it too especially since I had been married 11 years and had 3 kids already. I was told I would be sad that I missed my youth. Two years later I am still trying to figure out what that means. :lol: Of course in that time I have had miscarriages and watched my baby boy go through cancer treatment, so really turning 30 was a blessing (that was the year his treatment ended too, so we had a lot to celebrate). I am also not a different person with kids than I would be without kids. We take trips, we go on hikes, we enjoy life, and I love my life.

[mrspoch]

I'm 31 and getting older doesn't bother me. In fact, I've been wanting to be 30 since I was in high school. Mainly b/c when you're a teen you're just dumb. Then when you're in your 20's your still kind of dumb, figuring things out, and making mistakes. By the time you're 30, you should (in theory) have things sorted out - family, job, home - and are stable. I would have loved to have skipped the intervening years of stupidity. I love being in my 30's. It's great. My outlook is that each decade gets better. That's how my mom looks at it, so maybe that's why I do too.

:iagree: I absolutely love being in my 30s!! Of course, I also look younger than I am so that could have something to do with it. Looking back at my wedding pics (when I was 21), it looks as if I was only 16! lol I think that I couldn't wait to reach 30 'cause then I would have to be perceived as a "real" adult. I loved the look on people's faces when they found out I was 30 and they thought I was much younger. lol

[jasar31629]

For me, it's not so much about vanity as it is the passage of time. The moving cart that can't be stopped. Seeing how after the teen years time just seems to speed up and you look back and 10 years has passed. Then you think in groups of ten and realize you only have a few tens to go before life really starts going 'downhill'...health issues likely, friends dying, parents passing away.

 

Can you tell I'm more of a pessimist? :tongue_smilie:

 

Eta- I'm 28 and dh turned 30 this year along with my big sis. We've given them both a lot of grief. Dh received his very first old man card from an elderly tenant at the apts. we manage! :)

Edited December 7, 2011 by jasar31629

[justamouse]

I loved turning 30. People just didn't take me seriously in my 20s, even though I was married with kids and owned a house. I finally felt 'grown up' at 30.

 

My later 30s were even better as far as looks, but now that I'm 40, I feel like I'm old! Like there was no inbetween! If there is an age that's a sagging middle like a novel, then this is it. I can see 50 being awesome. I'm not worried about it. But this 40 thing has me perplexed.

[BamaTanya]

Haven't read all of the replies, but I have a theory for some women. At least in my experience.

 

Some people are born with physical beauty. It's a part of who they are. It attracts other people to them. I don't mean that they are vain. It just is.

 

Other women who aren't as attractive physically don't get used to that attention. They are accustomed to trying on clothes that don't flatter them. They have a different experience of daily life. Not worse. Just different.

 

When beautiful women age, they notice the physical differences more acutely. Doors may not open as easily (figuratively speaking). Men don't turn to look at them. Etc.

 

It's like this: For someone who has acne, another pimple isn't a big deal. But for someone with a clear complexion, that one pimple is magnified. You know?

 

I was never beautiful. I was thinner. I was younger. But not beautiful.

 

I got used to it when I was young. I resigned myself to not primping much. I focused on other things.

 

When I was expecting my first baby, another young woman in our church was expecting, too. She was BEAUTIFUL. And yet she worried constantly about gaining too much weight. Or the style of her hair. Or a stray pimple. She was worried about losing her husband's admiration (though he didn't show any signs of it). She was more insecure about her looks than I was. :confused:

 

When beautiful women age, maybe they miss what they used to have.

 

I'm 45. My children know it. My colleagues know it. Friends know it. I like celebrating my birthdays.

 

There is one thing that gives me (and others, I'm sure) pause. That's knowing that I passed the age my grandmother was when she died from injuries in a car accident. I'm not upset about aging, but I do think soberly about how I've passed that milestone. She left a 3 year old daughter. I have 5 children at home. I think about how it would be if I were gone at that age, leaving my children. :crying:

 

And then, when I went to my class reunion, someone read the names of our classmates who were gone.

 

I didn't feel bad about aging, but I do take life a little more seriously knowing so many haven't enjoyed the number of days I've received.

[cathmom]

. I kept reassuring her that it's a privilege many don't get, being 40.

 

Like my sister's husband, who died 5 months before his 40th birthday of malignant melanoma. Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of his death.

[LMD]

For me, it's not so much about vanity as it is the passage of time. The moving cart that can't be stopped. Seeing how after the teen years time just seems to speed up and you look back and 10 years has passed. Then you think in groups of ten and realize you only have a few tens to go before life really starts going 'downhill'...health issues likely, friends dying, parents passing away.

 

Can you tell I'm more of a pessimist? :tongue_smilie:

 

Eta- I'm 28 and dh turned 30 this year along with my big sis. We've given them both a lot of grief. Dh received his very first old man card from an elderly tenant at the apts. we manage! :)

 

This almost exactly (except we're a year behind you)! Because I'm starting to think in tens and they quickly add up!

[fairfarmhand]

I also wonder that it may be because I started out my family SO young. I felt like my twenties were just a blur of pregnancy after pregnancy, breastfeeding, and fatigue. Now that I am over thirty and we consider our family complete, I feel like I can get on with some things that I have always wanted to do, but it was not necessarily the right timing earlier.

 

I am enjoying having mostly bigger kids.

[Tarreymere]

Well, as the decades go by things just get better and better for me. My thirties were a lot better than my twenties, and my forties have been fantastic and amazing. I figure that my fifties will be even better.

 

I can't complain. I dye the grey hair but I haven't gotten wrinkles. I do look younger than my age, but having a big family has taken its toll on the body but it really doesn't bother me to have some scars and whatnot. Life just seems to get more fun and more interesting and I hope I'm around as long as possible to enjoy it all.

[DesertDweller]

Milestones have never bothered me. I didn't think twice about being thirty or forty. Now, I'm almost fifty, and I still don't feel like it's a terrible thing. I have always been open about my age. Most people think I'm in my thirties, but even years ago, I gladly admitted how old I was.

 

I'm enjoying life now much more than I did when I was younger. I know more about myself and don't have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I want in life. I like to have fun and be around people of all ages.

 

I think sometimes it's a state of mind. You can think you're old and pretty soon you'll be acting like you are or you can live life and be happy at any age. Why some people deal with it more, I don't know.

 

Dh and I go out dancing and love to meet people. We have met a lot of of older people who are really enjoying life. I've seen stories about people that took up new hobbies or started some type of venture late in life. It just confirms to me that life doesn't have to be a downward slope to old age. I always tell people I'll be the ninety year old woman with a walker out on the dance floor two-steppin'. :lol:

Edited December 7, 2011 by DesertDweller

[GingerPoppy]

I am more of an optimist in life, and have always been determined to age rather gracefully and keep my child-like spirit for always. I want to be the cool old lady who has a bunch of interests and friends, and a warm, inviting, open house.

 

That said, I don't like sharing my age. I'm nearing 40, but I sidestep the question if asked. Some have suggested it's easier to talk about your age if you look younger, but I do look younger (everyone in my extended family does) and I still hate to tell people. I've decided it's because I want to be seen for *myself*--who I am, what I can do, and so on. I don't want to be seen as a number, because I think people will put me in a little box labelled "40" and think of me in a certain way. I don't want people to assume things about me. I want them to see me through eyes that aren't clouded by judgement that can come with knowing an age.

[TranquilMind]

I was talking to my 2 sister in law's at Thanksgiving. They are both within 5 yrs of my age and I am 32. One turned 30 last week and the other will be 28 soon and the two of them have both agonized over being 30 or close to 30. They hate it.

 

It hasn't really bothered me. It's just another birthday. My dh and most everyone else tells me that I look around 25. Maybe getting older will bother me more once I look older.

 

Perhaps the agony comes in because they are more "hip" and into popular culture, fashion, and style than I am. I am a farm gal. My family doesn't even have regular TV. Could that be it?

 

Or could it be that I have watched my mother slowly die over the last 5 years and that has changed me?

 

Seriously, I like who I am at 32 MUCH better than who I was at age 20. Of course I don't look quite so cute anymore, but I think the exchange was worth it. I am happy with who I have become and where I am in life. Much happier than I was in my twenties.

 

Anyway, the question is. Does reaching particular milestone ages (30, 40, etc.) bother you? Why or why not? I really want to understand their viewpoints.

 

So help me out.

No, I don't get it. And I'm over 50. I guess I was never that fashionable, but even if you are, you can still look great at any age.

 

My Mom and Dad and two siblings are gone, and I had a brush with death a couple of weeks ago myself, when I wondered if I was going to make it home from the hospital. Everything seems pretty petty after that.

 

Besides, getting older is better than the alternative, as my Mom used to say.

 

What choice do you have anyway? Might as well accept it gracefully!

[LaxMom]

What I've noticed is that -- in general -- people who have content natures and are comfortable with who they are don't seem to mind getting older.

I think that may be the case, as well. I know my mother is never content. With anything. She's always looking for the new thing, location, person, idea to latch onto because it HAS to be better because it's new.

 

She also has been trying to dye my hair for 15 years, aghast that I don't have interest in the newest trend, yadda yadda. It's annoying.

 

I'm happy with the person I am. I'm 40. It's a small part of me, but there are 40 years of life experience and learning there.

 

I think those feelings/outlook are rooted in their mothers and how they were raised to view aging.

I was raised by a mother who dreads aging. I really don't care about the signs of aging at all.

 

The single thing that bothers me is the extra yardage of skin around my middle, the leftovers from growing big, healthy twins on a 5' tall frame. If I hit the physique I'm working toward, I will consider having that remedied. It has nothing to do with age or staying young; I want my body to reflect my hard work, in the mirror.

[TranquilMind]

I was married with a kid at 18. By the time I was thirty I had FOUR children! Perhaps I am just too tired to care???

I didn't even have my FIRST child until 37.

 

I tell myself this will keep me young longer. Ha. Actually, I did read just a couple of weeks ago that if you had children naturally over the age of 35, your body may be aging more slowly, so I said, "hey, I'll take it!".

 

I'm not wrinkled, at least.

[amy g.]

In that case I'm so happy that I had a baby at 40 and another at 43.

[LaxMom]

I was married with a kid at 18. By the time I was thirty I had FOUR children! Perhaps I am just too tired to care???

 

Hey! Me too! Except I was 33 when they totaled 4. I wonder is spending my entire adult life as a mother, wife, provider, etc has affected my outlook on aging. I was never a kicky, unemcumbered young adult. It's never been part of my self-definition, so there hasn't been much in the way of functional change over the 20s, 30s, now 40.

[mom4him]

I just turned 63 last Sunday. I remember turning 30,40,50,60 and I am looking forward to turning 70.

 

Getting older has never bothered me. I have had health issues at different times through my life. There was a time that I really did not believe I would live to be 50 unless something changed. I was suffering from migraines so bad and taking so many pain killers that I knew it was a matter of time before I overdosed myself, not on purpose but simply trying to 'get away from the pain'. I became nearly free from them, saw my 50th and now have seen my 63rd. Why would it bother me.:D

 

Personally I do believe that it is a foundational thing wrapped up in vanity but that is just my thinking. I used to have a friend that was about 10 yrs younger than me that stressed every time her birthday came around.

[angela in ohio]

Turning 30 or 35 didn't make me think twice. But approaching 40 is getting me down (I'll be 38 in a few weeks.) It's hitting me that I am done having children. Soon my dc will start leaving home, and then I will never again be The Mom in a home full of life and laughter.

 

I'm really not concerned about my appearance as I age, and I haven't noticed any physical slow down. It's more the looming change in my identity. :crying:

[Catwoman]

I have never understood women who won't share their age and dread turning another year older. I think we are all lucky to keep adding another year to our lives.

 

I also don't understand it when women lie about their age and tell people that they are younger than they really are. Don't they realize that people will wait until they're out of earshot and immediately start talking about how old they look for their age?

 

If I'm going to lie about my age, I'm going to say I'm 75. That way, everyone will think I look amazing for my age and wonder what my secrets are. They'll gossip mercilessly about how I must have had a lot of work done, but will grudgingly admit that it looks pretty natural. They'll wonder how I've managed to stay so spry.

 

At least I hope that's what they'll say, because I'm actually only 48. :tongue_smilie:

[Bluegoat]

Overall I am not worried about ageing, but I felt a bit weird about 30, which suprised me. I think I felt a bit like I wasn't a "young person" any more with a million options in front of me, that maybe if I was going to do things I really had better get on with it, and there were some closed doors behind me.

 

Slightly more generally, I've sometimes felt ambiguous about physical changes too. I found it odd to go from being a girl men looked at in my 20s to a married mom they didn't. It isn't something I set store in, but I certainly noticed it. Maybe because it was so short, I wasn't a hot teenager by any means.;)

 

I was surprised that these things bothered me at all.

[Catwoman]

Yes, this! The women I know who have always been physically attractive--whether naturally or through lots of effort on their own--are the ones who seem to fret about the aging process.

 

 

My parents were both stop-and-stare-at-them-on-the-street, stunning-looking people. (Apparently, I was in the wrong line when they handed out the "stunning" and I just got "OK," but let's not go there...) But neither of them had issues with aging. Maybe it was because they weren't looking for other people to validate their attractiveness -- they were both confident and only had eyes for each other, so that may have been a big part of it.

 

They always said that everyone gets their chance to be "the attractive one" when they're young, and then it's time to step aside and let the next generation have their turn. You can still look great for your age, but you shouldn't try to be young forever and try to compete with the 20 year olds when you're 55. I think it was a good attitude. I'm 48, and even if I look good for my age, I am also fine with the fact that I don't look like an 18 year-old any more. Some people never seem to be able to deal with that, and I think it's sad. I want to look as good as I can, but I never look at someone else and wish I looked like that person.

 

I think if you're basically a self-confident person who doesn't spend a lot of time comparing yourself with others, you're more likely to be OK with the aging process, but if you're insecure, it's not so easy because you focus too much on every last little wrinkle or perceived flaw. I also think that overall happiness means a lot. If you're happy in your life and in your relationships, you are probably less focused on getting older and looking older. OTOH, if you've got a DH who constantly ogles other women,or have family and friends who are always making snide comments about the way you look, it would probably be hard not to feel insecure about aging.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Catwoman

[BigMamaBird]

I had no problem with turning 30, but when my Mom turned 60 it really bothered me for some reason. I was very upset about it.

[GingerPoppy]

Turning 30 or 35 didn't make me think twice. But approaching 40 is getting me down (I'll be 38 in a few weeks.) It's hitting me that I am done having children. Soon my dc will start leaving home, and then I will never again be The Mom in a home full of life and laughter.

 

I'm really not concerned about my appearance as I age, and I haven't noticed any physical slow down. It's more the looming change in my identity. :crying:

 

 

Ohhhhh, yes. Agree with this, even though I'm mom in a very small family.

 

I also agree with a pp who said part of it is reaching an age--the end of an era, I think--after which you can't have more children. That's an age I don't want to reach, because that part hasn't gone the way I've wanted it to go. I could deal with the rest, but I'm really sad about letting that go for good. :crying:

[Georgiana Daniels]

Turning 30 was great, but 40 really hurt. I haven't accomplished near what I thought I would by now and that is scary.

[learningmama]

I liked 30 and it was a good time. I'm 34 now and don't mind, but 35-40 sounds old. :D I'm okay with aging, it's part of life. I don't dye my hair, even though I have white temples thanks to early graying genetics from my father's side. I'm not thrilled with early graying, but I'm not going to try to fight it.

I think late 30's/early 40's may bother me a bit because my kids will be teenagers. Life will be really different in a decade. I like them being little still. But, we will all grow and change together!

[butterflymommy]

Yes, this! The women I know who have always been physically attractive--whether naturally or through lots of effort on their own--are the ones who seem to fret about the aging process.

 

I'm not sure I agree with that theory. I was always told I was very beautiful in my teens, 20s, still today in my 30s. I've always known that whatever superficial beauty I do have is going to shrivel up one day. It doesn't bother me. Being attractive can be as much a curse as a blessing. I was targeted by men long before I knew how to handle it, and I'm always wondering if people are treating me as they do, or reacting to me as they do, based on how I look, or for the person I am. If anything, once the beauty is gone, it will be a relief to know they're reacting to who I am rather than what I look like.

 

That being said, I think women can remain very beautiful well into old age. Maybe not in the eyes of men or by the standards of sexual appeal, but aesthetically, they definitely can.

[Crissy]

It simply IS sad sometimes to be old. You hurt. Your husband is dead, or you are caregiving for him in ways that are painful. Your friends have died, your sister has cancer, your children live in Singapore. Whatever.

 

I don't know that this has much to do with aging. I am 41 and I have lived through the my brother's violent murder, the loss of close cousins (nearly siblings) to a car accident, a workplace accident and domestic violence, illnesses that took the lives of friends, and a years-long sickness that took my mother this year. I worry about how to care for my dad every day. I have chronic health issues and struggle with daily pain.

Life is really hard sometimes. I understand that with the addition of years in my life there will be more loss. There will be more pain - both physical and emotional, more doctors, more therapies and medications.

Life can be sad, but we don't have to let it overwhelm us. We don't have to let the difficulties in our lives cause us to hate this existence.

 

I am proud of my age and my aging. My face is starting to show lines when I smile. My hair is graying. My waist is getting thicker. My eyes fail me most days when I try to read. I choose to believe that these are gifts that I've earned for making it this far.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Crissy

[Starr]

It is expected, like talking about the weather, saying "Wasn't that a game!" after the superbowl, and cooing over a baby. It is a common lament.

 

Once your face is 50, and you won't pass for 25 even on a dark night, then the "oh, I have a hitch in my git-along" and "my diabetes is acting up again" starts. A wee bit older and the "guess who died" starts.

 

Ask me how I know.

 

:lol:

[enviromommy]

but I think some women (and men) just fail to recognize what is coming at them. It's like we are all sitting on train tracks having a picnic, and half of the people recognize that we are going to get mowed down, and the other half are arguing about whether the deviled eggs should have less sweet relish.

 

Here is what happens. You get old. Your skin goes to h@ll. No matter what you do, at 75, you will look really bad compared to any 45 year old you know. You will reach an age where it will seem ridiculous to try to be pretty, and you will never turn a man's head again. Something will always hurt. You and your sil can't begin to understand at 30 how it will feel to turn 70. You haven't even started a decline. Women are at their best in their 30s.

 

Your husband will also get old. It's very likely that you will be taking care of him, and either or both of you will start to lose it mentally. The chances that I will have Alzheimer's are very high, but even if that doesn't run in your family, it's pretty common. You will be making Tea with a 75 year old dude someday.

 

How can people not care about getting old? I'm fine LOOKING old. I let my grey hair grow out, and I look every one of my 44 years. No big deal to me. I don't mind looking older. I think people are nicer to you when you look older. But what I do mind is suffering.

 

I have 40 or so years left, and while they will hopefully include the birth of grandchildren, happy marriages, successes and joy, they will also include the death of my mother and MIL, whom I adore. I have already buried my father. For the rest of my life, I will not have a father. There could be deaths of young people too, suffering, car wrecks, financial crisis, heart ache. I find it scary to think about all the hard things that might happen, let alone the hard things that I know absolutely WILL happen.

 

So I guess to me, women who are concerned about crows feet are being silly. But people who aren't concerned at all about the passage of time are equally silly. We can not fight time. It will always win. But I do think we should be focused on the condition of our souls, because sorrow likes sea billows WILL roll.

 

:iagree: I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but this is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I don't care about my looks any of that, but I get depressed about getting older because it takes me closer to dying.

[LucyStoner]

I think some women have more deeply internalized that women are more important/valued/prized for their youth and beauty. Older women are sometimes, sadly and falsely, seen as over the hill and disposable and that scares women. I think women who actively reject those notions or just did not learn them in the first place for whatever reason tend to be more comfortable with age.

 

Deeper than gender, I also think that many people face their fear of death a little bit with each passing year which can cause birthday stress for sure. Also as we ate we do start to lose the people around us more as people die. I see a lot of lonely elderly women whose families and friends have mostly died. Most people will experience that loss, though may be more or less lonely depending on their friendships, personality etc.

 

I personally vastly prefer my 31 year old self to my 21 year old self. When my 30 yo friends talk about being old, I think they are on crack. Nice time of life do me now. But i look forwards to my 40s, 50s and beyond. I am happier and more true to my authentic self now. I don't worry about getting older but sometimes I do worry that I am a big underachiever for being in my 30s lol.

Edited December 8, 2011 by kijipt

[StephanieZ]

Well, I spent my 30th birthday on the phone with my Dad's doctors, learning that he was definitely dying shortly, then back on a plane to his ICU. (Leaving my 3 year old and nursing one year old at home without me. Again.) The week prior and week following were full of similar.

 

Funny, given that, I've never been able to feel sorry for myself for getting older.

 

Every birthday is a blessing.

[Catwoman]

Approaching 50 is bothering me. I am a little bothered by looking older, but not greatly.

 

I can honestly tell you that you look nowhere near 50 -- unless you were only in your late thirties when your avatar photo was taken. I think you look great! :001_smile:

[cathmom]

I used to say that the bad thing about getting older was that so many people and places only exist in your memory. Then a few months ago (after my aunt died), I had a dream where I was at my grandparents' house (one of those places that doesn't exist anymore - my grandparents have been dead since I was 18) and my aunt was there. My mom was taking care of her, and I got upset and ran into another room. I was sobbing and the sister I no longer have contact with was there. Then my beloved dog, whom I had to put to sleep 6 years ago, ran in and started licking away my tears. And then I heard a voice say, "You could choose to look at it the other way - how many people and places exist now that didn't before." And then the dream ended and I woke up.

 

So I guess I just don't choose to look at it that way anymore. I loved them, I still love them, I love the people in my life now, and there are people I will love that I haven't even met yet.

[fairfarmhand]

I used to say that the bad thing about getting older was that so many people and places only exist in your memory. Then a few months ago (after my aunt died), I had a dream where I was at my grandparents' house (one of those places that doesn't exist anymore - my grandparents have been dead since I was 18) and my aunt was there. My mom was taking care of her, and I got upset and ran into another room. I was sobbing and the sister I no longer have contact with was there. Then my beloved dog, whom I had to put to sleep 6 years ago, ran in and started licking away my tears. And then I heard a voice say, "You could choose to look at it the other way - how many people and places exist now that didn't before." And then the dream ended and I woke up.

 

So I guess I just don't choose to look at it that way anymore. I loved them, I still love them, I love the people in my life now, and there are people I will love that I haven't even met yet.

that is amazing!

[JudoMom]

I turned 40 recently and it didn't bother me. I don't care who knows my age. My mom is the same way. Now, my mil is completely different. My dh, when I met him, didn't even know how old his mom was - she doesn't want anyone to know.

The difference between my mom and my mil is that my mil is really into fashion and clothing and dyes her hair and my mom is not. So maybe that's a part of it.

 

I like clothes, but nowhere near to the extent mil does. I do dye my hair, but then I did before it started getting gray also. I just like having red hair.

 

Funny story: my dh grew up in a very small farm town in rural WI. His mother wouldn't tell him how old she was. When he was in early elementary, they went on a field trip to the county office. They trip leader asked if anyone had any questions, and my dh raised his hand and said he wanted to know how old his Mom was. They looked it up and told him :lol:! In front of everyone else's kids :lol:!

 

Anyway, OP, I don't worry about getting older (I'm 36). I've wondered why, too, and it might be that my friends have always been a bit older than me, and dh is 6 years older than me, so I see it's no big deal.

[nono]

I like getting older. I'm the same person. But, I'm getting recategorized from the "crazy, non-conforming girl" to "eccentric, fun old lady." :D

[Guest]

The least attractive thing IMO is to be an older woman who is clinging to a 20-year-old's concept of beauty. I know a couple of women like this. They are 45+, but have huge fake bOOks, bright lipstick and eye make-up, long hair that looks worn out and they're stuffed into their teenage daughter's clothing to try and "prove" that they can still wear clothes from Forever 21. :ack2: That just looks like a has-been porn star, or Ms. April, 1974.

 

I want to look good, but I always want it to look in keeping with my decade. I really have no problem with the statement, "She looks good for 40." I want to look good for 40; I don't want to try to have people think I'm 20 because it's not going to happen. Women who do that look like a weird facsimile of a young person! :lol:

 

P.S. Although I admit, the one thing I don't like is to be mistaken for older than 40. Please err the other way. ;)

[Hockey Mom]

The least attractive thing IMO is to be an older woman who is clinging to a 20-year-old's concept of beauty. I know a couple of women like this. They are 45+, but have huge fake bOOks, bright lipstick and eye make-up, long hair that looks worn out and they're stuffed into their teenage daughter's clothing to try and "prove" that they can still wear clothes from Forever 21. :ack2: That just looks like a has-been porn star, or Ms. April, 1974.

 

I want to look good, but I always want it to look in keeping with my decade. I really have no problem with the statement, "She looks good for 40." I want to look good for 40; I don't want to try to have people think I'm 20 because it's not going to happen. Women who do that look like a weird facsimile of a young person! :lol:

 

P.S. Although I admit, the one thing I don't like is to be mistaken for older than 40. Please err the other way. ;)

 

:iagree: I know women like that, and I always feel a little embarrassed and sad for them. :( Can you imagine what it must feel like to try and cling so tightly to days gone by? I imagine it's exhausting and a bit frustrating.

 

I am 41, and I don't care who knows. I look at each birthday as a blessing, and proudly state my age when asked. :D

[TranquilMind]

I realize I'm only one particular person, but this isn't the case for me. I don't ever remember my mom having issues with getting older. She loves her birthdays and is very bothered if we don't celebrate them. She has said that each decade she gains she feels better and better about herself. She says that life is life and the present is what matters most. She doesn't fear dying because the end is the end and it won't matter to her at that point anyway. I *wish* I had her attitude about aging. :)

I like your Mom! Mine was like that too. She always said that each day, something exciting could happen and she wanted to see what it was.

[kewb]

Approaching 50 is bothering me. I am a little bothered by looking older, but not greatly. However, I am keenly aware of how my body is aging. I'm not liking the physical appearance, but that isn't the big thing. It is limitations and pain that come from aging. I hate that I heal so much slower (over a year to heal an ankle injury and 10 weeks to heal a finger.) I hate the chronic joint pain that will likely NOT get better. I hate the decline in physical ability when I am coming into a time where I will have the freedom and time to do more things. I hate the interruption in my sleep that comes from pain and knowing that is only going to get worse. I get frustrated with crochety old people, but I now understand them and fear I may become one of them. Although I live a reasonably healthy lifestyle, I am having to accept that there are things that are outside of my control. No matter how much I try to take care of myself, I will get older and I will suffer for it.

 

This is how I feel. I like who I am and being comfortable in my own skin came with the wisdom gained with age. The physical stuff is what is getting to me. The slow healing, the failing eyes, pain when I used to have none.

[Negin]

I have never understood women who won't share their age and dread turning another year older. I think we are all lucky to keep adding another year to our lives.

Exactly, this is how I feel about both topics. I've come to a point in my life where I think it's sad/weird/odd to not share one's age with, at the very least, close friends, etc. Sort of a litmus test for me when it comes to friendship. ;)

Also, yes, every additional year comes with immense gratitude. :)

I'll be 44 in March.

[cindergretta]

I didn't read the replies. (The thread is too long and I have ADD... :tongue_smilie: )

 

I am dreading turning 40 in a year. I don't give a wit about fashion or hair or make up. I don't want to get old and have my body fail me. I don't want to get cancer. I don't want to die. I have no problem with anyone knowing my age. I couldn't be bothered to hide it. I don't want to be young and hip and cute, I want to be healthy and able to use my body. (I have several inherited health conditions and both of my parents have fought or are fighting cancer. It scares me senseless if I think too much about it.)

 

Don't assume people who dread aging are embarrassed by their age or are shallow. Some may well be. Some of us just have a fear of not being here long enough to see and do what we want, based on our family history and each year gets us closer to that "maybe" of death.

[Negin]

 

It is what it is Barb. :tongue_smilie:

[QuirkyKapers]

 

It is what it is Barb. :tongue_smilie:

:lol: Overall, I don't really think about getting older. I do know that it surprised me recently when I realized I was going to need bifocals to read, but all things considered, life is good.

[TravelingChris]

Cindergretta- I understand your fear. I used to have it too. My father died of a heart attack at age 62 and my mother of ALS at age 63. My sister also died of a heart attack at age 34. The way I got over it is that my mom's ALS is not hereditary (some cancers are and some aren't- find out more about your parents' types- at least you can find out if there are new tests for diagnosis them early or new treatments). Then I know that with regards to heart disease- I don't have the same type of history as my dad did or my sister. I am 48 and have no heart problems while they both had them in their 20's or early 30's). Now does that stop me from getting any type of heart problem? No, but since I don't have high blood pressure, high cholsterol or any of the other markers which raise heart attack risk, I am not at such a high risk. But of course, if I have symptoms of a heart attack or my dh does, we won't be writing them off.